Original subtitles

The Earth rotates at a rate of... 15 degrees per hour.

All right, what is the most abundant element by volume in Earth's crust?

Oxygen.

Man, we're going to crush this Earth science test.

Might as well change its name to Earth -bience, because after we're done with

this test, we'll be all like, fire science, you know?

No.

I don't know.

What's up, doobies?

We're in.

Anything going on this weekend? No.

And I'd like to keep it that way. I just, I need a break. It's been such a

week.

School, all this attention.

I need a break from my mom.

Wait.

Why would you be getting a break from your mom?

I don't know.

I don't really know why I said that.

It's because your mom's going to a real estate convention this weekend,

remember? God damn it, Ben.

What'd I do?

Do you see this face?

This is the face of someone who wants to throw a party.

No.

No parties. Come on, Charles. Why not? Because I just said, like, I need a

break. The last thing I need is a bunch of drunk teenagers breaking stuff in my

house.

Fine.

No party.

Okay. I think a party sounds fun.

Yeah, for whoever doesn't have to clean it up in the morning.

There's no way I'm having a party. There's no way.

Hey, Charlie.

Brenda said you're having a party tonight.

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm definitely having a party.

Well, I guess I'll see you tonight.

Okay, yeah, I'll see you.

Bye, Luke.

What? There's not that much to clean up.

I love parties. I love throwing parties.

Don't forget, we're going drape shopping with my mom after school.

Oh, that's today?

Okay, but I have key... Key club. Yeah, 3 .30.

I know, but those meetings never last longer than an hour, so tell my mom 4

Okay, just remember we're eating with my mom. With your mom? Yeah, at 6.

We'll make it work.

Oh, God.

I know we're making the most of this little situation, but there are just a

things I would like to do by myself.

Great. I'll be right here if you need me.

Yo, what up, zombie?

Oh, Bryce, I'm not actually... Hey, man, how's it going?

Good, but... Ichiro.

I'm not actually a zombie.

You're used to it, man.

Once you label something at this school, you're stuck with it.

Like me and the name Eleanor.

Wait, that's not your name?

Nah, man.

It's Dennis.

Why does everyone call you Eleanor?

It was freshman year U .S. history class.

We were watching a video on FDR's New Deal.

I didn't have time for lunch that day, so I had a snicker bar stuffed in my

pocket. It was a king size, so it made quite the bulge.

Anyway, Teddy Lipinski saw it, and he thought it was a hard -on.

So he told everybody in class that I wanted to bone Franklin Delano

Why didn't you just show him as a candy bar? It just happened so fast.

I froze.

Before I knew it, everybody was calling me Eleanor.

As in FDR's wife, Eleanor Roosevelt.

I've tried everything to get the name to unstick, but nothing works.

What up, zombie? Yo, Eleanor.

Hey, Mason, I'm actually going by El now.

Sound good, Eleanor.

My school's hell.

I don't know how you do it, Ben. That was a perfect meal.

Perfect. Well, thank you.

I hope you save room for dessert.

I made blueberry buckle from a recipe I got off aldenbrown .com.

I don't want to toot my own horn, but toot toot.

Well, it sounds delicious, but I gotta go if I'm gonna make my flight. Please,

allow me.

Oh, thank you, Ben.

I guess it's true what they say.

Chivalry is dead.

Is that it?

Chivalry is dead. Chivalry is dead. That is too funny, Laurel, too funny.

You sure you're two going to be okay by yourselves this weekend?

Yeah, Mom, definitely.

You have nothing to worry about.

That's exactly what someone would say if I had something to worry about.

Okay, Mom, you got me. We're having a huge party tonight.

Actually, Ren's in the pantry right now with a dolly ready to wheel out all the

party supplies because we're going to burn this mother down.

Mother.

Fine. Call me if there's any problems. I'll see you on Sunday.

Bye. Take care, Laurel.

Safe travels.

Thank you.

That would never exist.

Sorry, you know, it would have been shorter if Ben hadn't served three

Hey, I didn't hear you complaining when you were stuffing your face with my pan

-seared scallop and beet puree starter.

I was not stuffing my face.

Um, what's with the buckets and tissues?

It's a high school party, Ben.

Someone always pukes, someone always cries.

Is this your first party?

Um, does a wedding count?

No.

How about a bar mitzvah?

No. What about free cone day at Ben and Jerry's? Because that can get pretty

wild.

Okay, this is my first party.

Should I be nervous?

I really don't know what to expect.

I suppose I can win everyone over with a magic trick. No!

No magic.

See? These are things I need to know.

We should come up with like a code word you can say if you see me making a fool

of myself. Something like, uh...

Peanut butter milkshake.

Ben, relax.

It's going to be fine. Just pace yourself and you'll have a really good

Trust me.

Pace myself.

Got it.

Stop being so aggressive. You can scare her away.

She'll wait for that.

Look at her just sitting over there all innocent.

Poor girl. I have no idea what's coming for her.

What's coming for her?

I'm not sure yet.

Just testing the fences for weaknesses, you know?

Trying to find a way in.

You're like a sexual velociraptor.

I am, aren't I?

I'm like a sexual velociraptor.

Hello, ladies!

Oh, God.

Either of you want to have sex with my boner tonight?

What? Ew.

What?

So is that a no on the boner sex, or... No, I'm really asking.

See, I haven't told many people about this, but I suffer from a condition

social -emotional agnosia.

It means I have a hard time picking up on nonverbal social cues.

Needless to say, it's made high school tough for me.

Not being able to relate to, like, fellow classmates enough.

Wow, Mason, I had no idea. Yeah, I'm really, I'm sorry.

No, I'm just playing.

I just made all that up so you guys would feel bad and want to have boner

tonight.

No, Mason, take your boner elsewhere.

All right, all right.

Okay, he's here.

Cheers.

Hey, what's up? You guys look great.

You got enough to drink?

Yeah,

hey, good to see you guys.

Good to see you.

Hey, Charlie.

Hey, Luke. I didn't see you.

Thank you for coming.

Thanks for having me.

Do you want a beer? I happen to be holding two.

Thank you.

Oh.

What was it like coming back to life?

It's kind of like getting your wisdom teeth out, you know? I don't really

remember much, just waking up in a coffin.

Wow.

Creepy.

Good thing you want a creme, baby.

Holy crap.

Yeah,

I never thought of that.

Good thing I wasn't cremated.

Hey, want to stick a fork in that wallet right there and see what happens?

Yeah.

I like your house.

It's very house -like.

Do you want the tour?

Please.

Uh, cool. So that, um, that's the living room.

That is the kitchen.

Do you want to see the upstairs? Yeah. Yeah.

Definitely.

You okay?

Yeah.

I guess to answer your question, I'd have to say football is my favorite

I didn't ask you a question.

Definitely football.

Mm -hmm.

Get the touchdowns they give me.

I love scoring touchdowns.

Love it.

But enough about me.

Let's talk about you.

How do you feel about me scoring touchdowns?

Um, I don't know.

Neutral.

Sweet.

You sure you're good with just water?

Because I can go make you a drink if you want.

Actually, I will take a cup of whatever takes the longest to make.

You got it.

Hey, make some special coming right up. Hope you like fruit.

Sup?

That is the hallway. These are the staircase, the original floorboards,

actually. Light switch.

Another one right here.

And here is my room.

You need to be near Ben at all times, right?

Is it cool that you're this far away from him?

Yeah, no. He's below us in the kitchen, so we're above him. So he's fine.

I like the painting.

Thanks.

My dad painted it.

Oh.

Sorry.

Why are you sorry?

I... Uh... I'm not really sure.

Sorry.

About being sorry.

I can see where you get your talent from.

I like how it's a hybrid of objective and non -objective art.

Oh, yeah?

I have no idea what that means, actually.

I know nothing about art. I should have just gone with my first thought.

The flowers look cool.

Roses.

I like my metal name.

Charlotte Rose.

That's a beautiful name.

It suits you.

You know I'm not like you, right?

I'm not, you know, what, like a Virgo?

I know, your birthday's in June.

No, I mean, like, I'm not... Wait, how do you know my birthday's in June?

Okay, busted.

I may have...

Dr. Instagram one or two times.

Or 30.

Wait, really?

Do you want me to go? I can leave you alone. No, no, no, you can just stay.

You know, this Austin Brown really know how to buckle a blueberry.

I can't believe Charlie's upstairs right now with that back, Devin.

It's like April 8, 2012 all over again.

What happened April 8, 2012?

Nothing.

Oh, does she know how much he means to you?

Of course.

I tell her, like, pretty much every day.

Just words, man.

That's all they are.

If you really like this girl...

You need to start thinking bigger than just why.

What do you mean?

You saying pretty in pink?

I really am sorry about your homecoming pitch the other day.

I mean, I feel stupid we're doing the zombie idea.

No, no, it's...

i still feel terrible so but

while we're on the subject of homecoming

um would you maybe want

to charlie you got to come down quick it's something horrible happened to ben

it's horrible come on

On the night...

I'm so, so sorry.

It was not supposed to go down like that.

Well, I should probably go talk to him.

Where did he go?

He ran out the side door.

Okie dokie.

Wish me luck.

You know what?

Let me take care of this.

Are you sure?

Yeah.

Yeah, it's better this way.

I'm sure you're the last person Ben wants to see right now.

You're going to eat this. Bro was thinking a little misty -eye.

Thanks, Dennis.

What would you call me?

Dennis.

That's your name, right?

Yeah.

Yeah.

That guy's awesome.

I know.

Wait. I thought your name was Eleanor.

Ben? You out here?

Hey, man.

Need a tissue?

Why would I need... I'm not crying.

Oh, yeah.

Of course you're not.

I really liked your song.

Until the end there.

Stupid.

I just wanted to do something big. You know, like Ducky in Pretty in Pink.

And Charlie would see how much I like her.

Yeah.

You know, Ducky doesn't end up with the girl, right?

He doesn't?

No.

She picked the preppy kid.

Right? Why'd you think you needed to do something big anyway?

What do you think?

To compete with you?

Look at me and then look at you.

You're amazing.

You know how many hours I've wasted staring in the mirror trying to smile

you?

So many.

I still can't get it down.

Yes, that one.

God damn, that thing's majestic.

How do you do that? I think you give me too much credit, Ben.

I have insecurities, just like everyone else.

Oh, okay, yeah, sure you do.

No, I'm serious.

You know how many shirts I tried on before I settled on this one?

Seven.

I tried on seven different shirts.

And you know what? I'm still not entirely convinced I chose the right

I would have gone with, like, a navy.

You know, to match that olive -skin tone of yours.

I can't believe I'm the guy at the party that puked and cried.

Hey.

We've all been there.

Really?

No. Not at all, man.

Ben.

I'm really sorry that I asked for Charlie's phone number at your wake.

I was cold.

I wasn't.

A nuclear bomb could be falling out of the sky, about to obliterate all of

mankind, and it'd still be an appropriate time to ask for Charlie's

Yeah.

You know what?

You should ask her to homecoming.

What?

You're not going to?

Nah.

That's not really my style.

I prefer to go stag to those kinds of things anyway.

How you feeling?

Great.

You know, and as soon as the world stops spinning and I regain my vision, it'll

probably be even better.

Beds are the best.

Pillows, too.

And you got blankets to the mix.

Forget about it.

Sorry I puked on your rug.

It's okay.

I think Eleanor cleaned up most of it anyway.

Can I question you?

Ask you?

Can I question, ask you a question? Can you ask me a question?

Sure.

You go to homecoming with me?

I mean, I don't really have a say in the matter.

We have to be within 30 feet of each other at all times.

Remember?

So that's a yes?

Yeah. Yes. That's a yes.

What are you doing?

Oh, I'm so happy right now. I want to dance, but this is the only part of my

body I can move.

I'm just surprised to find out that Luke hadn't asked you.

How did you know Luke hadn't asked me?

Because he told me.

Then why would he tell you that?

How's Ben doing?

He'll live.

Yeah, I mean, like, you know, he won't live.

Not living, but yeah, he'll be fine.

Hey, you really don't need to clean. I was going to do it in the morning.

Oh, I don't mind.

Besides, I'm Mason's ride, and I don't think he's getting up anytime soon.

Hey, Luke, did you...

Did you tell Ben to ask me to homecoming?

Just make sure you save a dance for me.

Okay?

Okay.

Uh, where's your broom?

Uh, in the pantry.

Oh.

Sorry.

Can I just get the broom?

Thanks.

You want me to keep this open, or...? I'll just close it.

Thank you.