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The following program may contain mature subject matter and coarse language.

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Okay.

Hi, what do you want? Sir, when are you going to announce the parting gift?

I have no idea what you're talking about. Every year, the principal does

something special for the graduating class.

Are you even graduating, Stefan?

I think.

Wow. More? You want more from me?

Educating you wasn't a big enough gift? It's a tradition, sir. Mr. Cheely gave

last year's class the staff parking spots for their final week.

Yippee, that's lame.

Miss Mason had a Skywriters fellow congrats the year before.

And that's why we were over budget that year. Good thing I'm in charge of the

school now. The grads really look forward to this, sir. It means a lot to

Fine, I'll do it. I'll do it. I'll get you another gift.

Any idea what it'll be? I just found out, Lucy.

I'm still processing that I have to get you a stupid gift.

Because those other principals did this.

They set a bad preference.

Make it something good. Now, why would you say that? See, now I might not get a

gift because you say something negative like that.

Because I know you.

All right, let me eat my lunch.

I'm awesome. No, you're not, dude. Don't lie. I'm awesome. I'm driving around in

my mom's ride. I'm awesome. A quarter of my life gone by.

Um, Ms. Mason, could I ask some advice?

Yeah, that makes sense.

Bill's gone.

Frank's gone.

Nobody left to ask but me.

Oh, no, I specifically wanted to talk to you.

How about you just tell me who set you up on this little prank journey?

And that way we can skip the part where I get publicly humiliated. I got

accepted to Beckman University's education program.

Oh, my gosh.

That was my program. That was my school. That's where I got my doctorate. Yeah,

that's what I heard, and frankly, I'm a little nervous about going. Don't be.

Those were the best years of my life. You're going to learn so much about

yourself. You're going to make so many friends.

It's just these huge lecture halls, and there's so many people in it.

It's a little overwhelming.

I'll tell you what. I have an old classmate that teaches there. We'll go

campus tour, sit in on a lecture, and then you'll see there's nothing to be

nervous about.

You'd do all that?

Absolutely. Anything to get out of this place.

Can I ask a side question, miss? Yeah. Did you really study education and get a

Ph .D. to become a co -guidance counselor?

The past few years have been really hard on me, Brandon.

Would you like to ask anything else, like how much I weigh?

About one... No.

Okay. Thanks.

There she is.

Oh, hey, you guys.

We just wanted to check in with you, see how you're doing with the end of the

year close by.

You're usually a blubbering mess this time of year. Can you blame me? We fall

love with these lovely children for a whole year and then they're just gone

months? It's sad.

Not a common complaint amongst teachers.

Anyway, the good news is I found a way to cope.

So what I'm doing is turning my emotional pain into tiny physical pain

elastic band.

When I start to feel the sadness creeping in, I just give it a little

snaps me right out of it, and I start feeling good.

Classic cognitive behavioral therapy.

Nice. I guess. It totally works.

Why don't you just try caring less, like the rest of us?

Wish I could.

Trudy.

I apologize for her. That is extremely insensitive.

Yes, it was.

Especially considering all the big questions you're tangling with right

With what?

Where's Simon, for one?

Yeah. Are we even actually married?

I have thought of those two things.

Did he fall off a... And I'm good.

That is so cool.

Hey, Trudy.

Where's Trudy?

I'm covering for her. What's with all these balloons?

Oh.

They're the parting gifts I'm giving the graduating students this year. Wow, you

got them balloons, huh? Not just regular balloons. I have my photo on them so

they can remember who their principal was years from now.

And I'm going to write their name of every student on the back

to personalize it. That's good.

You're supposed to give them something they're going to remember for the rest

their lives.

Are you listening? 20 years from now, you go, who was my principal? Oh.

Mr. Duncan, who was my crap phys ed teacher?

Oh, yeah, Miss Galka.

They'll remember.

This is an opportunity for you, Jerry. I mean, this is how the Xavier principle

leaves their mark. But if you want to leave them with balloons and you think

that accomplishes it, great idea.

Okay, well, I'll think of something else. What are you going to do? I don't

know. I literally just thought of the idea to get a new idea.

You don't work that much. Where's Trudy? Why can't we just have Trudy here?

Uh,

Bethany, why don't you come on up here and tell us a little bit about your

summer plans?

Yeah, what is she up to? Who knows?

Okay. Summer's boring. My parents work, so it's to do with my grandpa.

I don't do anything.

Oh, boy.

I wish I could stay with you all summer, Miss Corcoran. Yeah.

Yeah. Do you know what, Bethany? Why don't you have a seat?

Okay. And, um,

and, uh, Rain, why don't you tell us a little bit about what you're up to?

Maybe a music camp or fun in the sun?

I'm really going to miss you, Miss Corcoran.

Come on!

Um, Rain, I want you to think about the fact that summer is, what, a couple of

months? It's going to fly by.

We'll see you in no time.

Not this time.

My dad got into a marine biology program in Australia.

This is goodbye.

Forever.

I think maybe what we should be doing now is just have a little bit of

quiet time.

Please tell us these balloons aren't our parting gift.

No, they're not, Lucy.

Definitely seems like something you would do. I was up all night thinking,

can I do? What can I do for this graduating class?

And then I thought of something that'll blow your mind. I told you he would do

something good.

Let's hear what it is first.

We will get a box, and every student in the graduating

class will put a memory.

A fun memory in the box.

Then we bury the box. And then in the distant or near future, we'll go dig it

up. And then we'll look at all the fun memories we had. We'll call it a fun

So like a time capsule?

No. I'll do the naming. Fun box is way better than time capsule. And it'll

become a thing.

It's already a thing, sir. And that's what they're called.

Time capsule.

How is this out there already? I just thought of it. Time capsules are cool,

though. Yeah?

Yeah. They're fine. I'm not going for fine.

What if we make this the biggest fun box?

Time capsule. Time capsule in the whole wide world.

The biggest ever. Biggest ever. There's never been one this big. I will make

sure it's the biggest.

We could beat a world record. We should contact Guinness.

No beer. Although it'd be hot. It'd be fun to have a Guinness. Sir, not the

company. The book of world records.

Go tell them Principal D thought of it.

Okay, big day. Here it is.

My parting gift to all of you. In 20 years, we will come back and we will

unearth it. Look up all the memories we tossed in there. Here we go, Mr. Malick,

reveal!

The greatest parting gift ever at this school.

Sir, it's a dumpster.

Huge. You bought this?

I didn't buy it, Alex. Why would I buy a dumpster? I rented it.

Smart. Always rent. Thank you, Stefan.

Now, because this was my idea, I get to throw in the first item.

My Bachelor of Useless Education degree where I learned nothing. I don't need it

anymore because I'm principal.

That's gone.

Lucy's got stuff. Get up here, Lucy.

Come on up, Lucy. Chuck it in the old time capsule.

Oh, come on. Just not bowling. Just hurry up or it's not going to be a time

capsule. Throw it in.

What was that?

It's too high up there. You can't throw a five -pound box into a time capsule.

We dumped her. Okay. Come on, everybody. Let's go.

Let's throw all your stuff in. Where's all the stuff? Sir, this was everything.

How is that everything?

We collected the entire graduating class's items this morning. That's all

got from the whole class?

There's only 80 of us, so. We can't bury an empty time capsule.

Dumpster. It's a dumpster.

Okay. All right. New rules.

It's open to the whole school. Every grade now. Not just you guys. Sorry.

You couldn't deliver.

So now I got to open it up. We want to win world records.

Okay? We got to fill this to the brim. So tell everybody, the bigger the

Bring a memory item.

Chuck it in if you can reach it.

Now pick that up and throw it in one by one.

Now Malik will teach.

We always need to be cognizant, that subtle distinction between knowledge and

learning. I do think we're out of time, so we will stop for now. I'll let you

all go.

Isn't he amazing?

He's so captivating.

Yeah, I'm actually excited to come here.

Let's go meet him.

Gerald.

Gerald.

Lisa Mason. Hi.

It is so good to see you. So good to see you.

Wow, I mean, it's amazing to be back in this room.

Just so much energy and inspiring. It is all very exciting.

I was always a little surprised that you went to teach high school.

I know.

You were the most amazing person in our class. Oh, stop.

True, I was the top mark.

How is the molding of young minds at Xavier?

To be honest, it hasn't been that great.

It's been pretty bad for a couple years now.

Maybe that's good.

Why would that be good?

We've had a last second vacancy.

We are in dire need of a professor to teach a summer session for us if you

I am sure that the department would be quick to approve a professor with your

qualification. A professor?

Oh, my God, professor?

Yeah, absolutely.

Like a thousand times yeah.

Good, good.

That's great.

What's that on your lapel?

That's my cat, Mandu.

Something of an adorer of cats.

I like cats.

They're great.

I think this visit really helped.

I'll wait in the car.

As challenging as goodbyes may be for me, I do like to go around and ask my

students what they're going to be up to for the summer.

Where's your elastic band?

No, I found a new way to cope. Thank you.

So, Lucy, why don't you go first? My dorm's letting me move in early, so I'm

leaving in a week.

Well, now is as good a time as any, I think.

Lucy is graduating!

Okay. Stefan!

What? Get up!

I'm just going to play a bunch of Fortnite until university starts.

So even you're graduating?

I hope.

That's everybody graduating.

You know

what? I think this is working. I don't feel as sad. I feel a bit better.

I'm graduating too, miss.

Miss, I'm graduating too. Yeah, you know, I heard Alex just never been a big

of yours. Sorry.

Does anybody hear any ringing?

I'm hearing like a ringing.

Like it's loud.

What is that?

Okay, so just step up and throw it in the time capsule.

Nice. Ooh.

Like a pom -pom.

I don't care.

I don't care.

Keep me here.

That's a good hockey hook. What?

Do you want to rematch?

Yeah. Anytime, Paul.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

What are you doing?

No, don't... Jump in with it?

I don't think it's broken anyway.

Okay.

No, Bethany, I don't think... I'm sick of this place.

Yeah, I'm sticking with two, John. Oh, you don't like Tucker anymore, I see.

Nope, I like Bart.

A little better.

Two peas in a pod.

We want to throw you in.

It's not funny.

My blue period.

Unless you want it.

Why would I want that?

My marriage certificate.

Both of them.

What are you doing here?

Stopping for time.

I don't know. Don't throw that.

I'm terrible with that. I like to shake my hand.

You've got to cover that.

Robert, I'm quitting.

Hmm? I know, I'm sorry. This must be really difficult for you to hear, but

been offered another job, and I'm going to accept it because I think it's

important for me to start with a clean slate if I want to move on with my life.

Didn't you quit last year?

But then I came back, remember?

Hmm.

Oh, right. It's coming back to me. I brought you back as a librarian?

Guidance counselor.

It's all coming back to me now. So now you're leaving again.

Yeah, but this time I'm not coming back.

Glad it worked out.

Oh, got to take this.

Hello.

Can you just give me one second?

What can I do for you, Nan?

Two more minutes for you guys, and then we switch. Let's go. This is a big time

capsule. We're setting a world record. That's why I brought a reporter. We have

to speed it up a little bit. Let's go.

Why aren't you helping?

I gave you the gift. Now you dig the hole. You wanted a parting gift. I did

part. Now you dig the hole. Can I ask why you're burying a dumpster in the

ground? Oh, it's a time capsule. That's what I was telling you on the phone.

Make sure you get that in the story. World's biggest time capsule.

Principal Duncan.

Sir, I hit something.

Yeah, you hit dirt. It's called dirt, and that's why we're taking it out. To

remove it to put the time capsule in.

I broke something.

Oh, what'd you break, Lucy? Your nail? Give me that.

God, you're so weak.

I don't even know why I picked you.

What is that?

Is that a bone?

Would you relax?

Is that human? Why would there be humans buried under the school?

I don't know.

Sir, look.

Okay, all right.

Nothing to worry about. It's one of those old homo sapien type animal bones.

Okay, there's another part. That would be the femur. Dirt to the right, bones

the left.

Get all the bones out of here.

Some of you may have heard that...

We were digging a hole to bury the time capsule fun box that I created. What's

he saying?

I can't hear because of the gong.

It's like... Anyway, you've heard that you hit some bones, which freaked

a lot of you out.

And I'm here to tell you, don't be freaked out. Not a big deal.

Rumor is, I don't want to alarm you, they are human bones.

They put a bunch of them together.

So funny.

What's with the skeleton?

He is funny.

What's wrong with you?

So this, to me, is possibly a homo sapien, hetero sapien.

Paul, hold that.

Here's the bad news.

They are closing the school indefinitely.

Indefinitely seems like a long time, Jerry. Definite is long.

Indefinite is...

means we might be open. Do we still have jobs or what, Jerry?

How am I supposed to know?

If it's definite, we don't. If it's indefinite, we might.

You're singing to the preacher, so don't be yelling at me.

They're coming here in 20 minutes to officially lock up the school until we

out if it's indefinite, fingers crossed, or definite.

If it's definite... Staff, I'm sorry, but we have...

No job next year, except I think this is the only smart one right now.

Unfortunately, no ceremony this afternoon.

Get out of here.

You've got 20 minutes. You've got to be out of the building. Let's go.

Okay, well, obviously, we can't get into school to have our last staff meeting,

so I thought we would have it out here.

Why are you here? Something for Simon. Right. What's with the dirt, and why is

the school closed off?

No one told her.

Has anyone heard from Frank? I did, actually. He sent me a postcard from

honeymoon, and I think they're having a really good time, but the postcard was

disgusting. Can we not talk about Frank, please?

It's nice that we're all just hanging out together for, like, no reason.

Nisha! There's Simon. You can go.

What? Simon,

you're back!

I told my mom that she and I are through for good this time.

Simon. I can't hear anything because I blew my ear out with the gong.

Been there, sister.

It's new.

I just picked it up from one of those bins.

Well, we got to go because my mom is hot on my heels. So let's go. Bye,

everyone. Bye.

I can't hear what you're... Well, if you need us, we'll be at Robert's

Incredibly Lavish Mansion with little Craigie. Oh.

Hey, our Incredibly Lavish Mansion.

Oh. I guess, yeah. I mean, I'm rich now. Yeah, big time.

Go on, take it.

Bye.

I mean, that all works out for me. Don and I are back together. We bought a

place closer to the prison. I'm going to try to make it work out this time.

Oh, that's sweet. She always seemed nice.

She's got a little temper, but every day's a holiday.

Not in prison, it's not.

So, when is this business due?

I've actually been in labor for about seven hours now, Trudy. So, if you could

give me a ride to the hospital.

Oh, no. I've helped deliver a baby before, if you want some help. Okay. Oh,

thank you.

Yeah. Why are you so chipper? I'm Professor Mason, and that's pretty

Plus, I have this really cute colleague, and he's a cat lover.

Okay. Cheers, Lisa. I don't mean to rush you, Lisa, but I think I'm crowning.

Ew. Okay. Let's go.

I'm going to take off, too, because you know what?

I find this just a little too boring.

You're boring.

What about you, Mr. Malick? What are your plans?

I visit sister, Anya, in Des Moines.

Oh.

Keep

it clean.

Why are you doing that?

That was fun.

Now what?

Now what?