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The following program may contain mature
subject matter and coarse language.
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Viewer discretion is advised.
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Okay.
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Hi, what do you want? Sir, when are you
going to announce the parting gift?
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I have no idea what you're talking
about. Every year, the principal does
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something special for the graduating
class.
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Are you even graduating, Stefan?
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I think.
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Wow. More? You want more from me?
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Educating you wasn't a big enough gift?
It's a tradition, sir. Mr. Cheely gave
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last year's class the staff parking
spots for their final week.
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Yippee, that's lame.
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Miss Mason had a Skywriters fellow
congrats the year before.
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And that's why we were over budget that
year. Good thing I'm in charge of the
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school now. The grads really look
forward to this, sir. It means a lot to
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Fine, I'll do it. I'll do it. I'll get
you another gift.
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Any idea what it'll be? I just found
out, Lucy.
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I'm still processing that I have to get
you a stupid gift.
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Because those other principals did this.
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They set a bad preference.
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Make it something good. Now, why would
you say that? See, now I might not get a
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gift because you say something negative
like that.
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Because I know you.
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All right, let me eat my lunch.
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I'm awesome. No, you're not, dude. Don't
lie. I'm awesome. I'm driving around in
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my mom's ride. I'm awesome. A quarter of
my life gone by.
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Um, Ms. Mason, could I ask some advice?
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Yeah, that makes sense.
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Bill's gone.
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Frank's gone.
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Nobody left to ask but me.
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Oh, no, I specifically wanted to talk to
you.
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How about you just tell me who set you
up on this little prank journey?
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And that way we can skip the part where
I get publicly humiliated. I got
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accepted to Beckman University's
education program.
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Oh, my gosh.
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That was my program. That was my school.
That's where I got my doctorate. Yeah,
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that's what I heard, and frankly, I'm a
little nervous about going. Don't be.
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Those were the best years of my life.
You're going to learn so much about
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yourself. You're going to make so many
friends.
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It's just these huge lecture halls, and
there's so many people in it.
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It's a little overwhelming.
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I'll tell you what. I have an old
classmate that teaches there. We'll go
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campus tour, sit in on a lecture, and
then you'll see there's nothing to be
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nervous about.
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You'd do all that?
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Absolutely. Anything to get out of this
place.
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Can I ask a side question, miss? Yeah.
Did you really study education and get a
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Ph .D. to become a co -guidance
counselor?
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The past few years have been really hard
on me, Brandon.
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Would you like to ask anything else,
like how much I weigh?
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About one... No.
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Okay. Thanks.
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There she is.
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Oh, hey, you guys.
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We just wanted to check in with you, see
how you're doing with the end of the
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year close by.
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You're usually a blubbering mess this
time of year. Can you blame me? We fall
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love with these lovely children for a
whole year and then they're just gone
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months? It's sad.
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Not a common complaint amongst teachers.
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Anyway, the good news is I found a way
to cope.
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So what I'm doing is turning my
emotional pain into tiny physical pain
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elastic band.
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When I start to feel the sadness
creeping in, I just give it a little
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snaps me right out of it, and I start
feeling good.
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Classic cognitive behavioral therapy.
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Nice. I guess. It totally works.
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Why don't you just try caring less, like
the rest of us?
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Wish I could.
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Trudy.
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I apologize for her. That is extremely
insensitive.
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Yes, it was.
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Especially considering all the big
questions you're tangling with right
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With what?
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Where's Simon, for one?
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Yeah. Are we even actually married?
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I have thought of those two things.
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Did he fall off a... And I'm good.
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That is so cool.
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Hey, Trudy.
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Where's Trudy?
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I'm covering for her. What's with all
these balloons?
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Oh.
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They're the parting gifts I'm giving the
graduating students this year. Wow, you
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got them balloons, huh? Not just regular
balloons. I have my photo on them so
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they can remember who their principal
was years from now.
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And I'm going to write their name of
every student on the back
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to personalize it. That's good.
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You're supposed to give them something
they're going to remember for the rest
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their lives.
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Are you listening? 20 years from now,
you go, who was my principal? Oh.
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Mr. Duncan, who was my crap phys ed
teacher?
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Oh, yeah, Miss Galka.
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They'll remember.
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This is an opportunity for you, Jerry. I
mean, this is how the Xavier principle
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leaves their mark. But if you want to
leave them with balloons and you think
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that accomplishes it, great idea.
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Okay, well, I'll think of something
else. What are you going to do? I don't
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know. I literally just thought of the
idea to get a new idea.
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You don't work that much. Where's Trudy?
Why can't we just have Trudy here?
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Uh,
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Bethany, why don't you come on up here
and tell us a little bit about your
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summer plans?
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Yeah, what is she up to? Who knows?
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Okay. Summer's boring. My parents work,
so it's to do with my grandpa.
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I don't do anything.
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Oh, boy.
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I wish I could stay with you all summer,
Miss Corcoran. Yeah.
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Yeah. Do you know what, Bethany? Why
don't you have a seat?
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Okay. And, um,
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and, uh, Rain, why don't you tell us a
little bit about what you're up to?
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Maybe a music camp or fun in the sun?
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I'm really going to miss you, Miss
Corcoran.
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Come on!
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Um, Rain, I want you to think about the
fact that summer is, what, a couple of
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months? It's going to fly by.
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We'll see you in no time.
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Not this time.
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My dad got into a marine biology program
in Australia.
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This is goodbye.
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Forever.
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I think maybe what we should be doing
now is just have a little bit of
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quiet time.
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Please tell us these balloons aren't our
parting gift.
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No, they're not, Lucy.
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Definitely seems like something you
would do. I was up all night thinking,
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can I do? What can I do for this
graduating class?
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And then I thought of something that'll
blow your mind. I told you he would do
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something good.
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Let's hear what it is first.
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We will get a box, and every student in
the graduating
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class will put a memory.
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A fun memory in the box.
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Then we bury the box. And then in the
distant or near future, we'll go dig it
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up. And then we'll look at all the fun
memories we had. We'll call it a fun
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So like a time capsule?
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No. I'll do the naming. Fun box is way
better than time capsule. And it'll
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become a thing.
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It's already a thing, sir. And that's
what they're called.
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Time capsule.
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How is this out there already? I just
thought of it. Time capsules are cool,
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though. Yeah?
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Yeah. They're fine. I'm not going for
fine.
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What if we make this the biggest fun
box?
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Time capsule. Time capsule in the whole
wide world.
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The biggest ever. Biggest ever. There's
never been one this big. I will make
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sure it's the biggest.
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We could beat a world record. We should
contact Guinness.
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No beer. Although it'd be hot. It'd be
fun to have a Guinness. Sir, not the
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company. The book of world records.
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Go tell them Principal D thought of it.
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Okay, big day. Here it is.
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My parting gift to all of you. In 20
years, we will come back and we will
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unearth it. Look up all the memories we
tossed in there. Here we go, Mr. Malick,
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reveal!
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The greatest parting gift ever at this
school.
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Sir, it's a dumpster.
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Huge. You bought this?
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I didn't buy it, Alex. Why would I buy a
dumpster? I rented it.
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Smart. Always rent. Thank you, Stefan.
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Now, because this was my idea, I get to
throw in the first item.
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My Bachelor of Useless Education degree
where I learned nothing. I don't need it
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anymore because I'm principal.
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That's gone.
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Lucy's got stuff. Get up here, Lucy.
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Come on up, Lucy. Chuck it in the old
time capsule.
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Oh, come on. Just not bowling. Just
hurry up or it's not going to be a time
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capsule. Throw it in.
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What was that?
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It's too high up there. You can't throw
a five -pound box into a time capsule.
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We dumped her. Okay. Come on, everybody.
Let's go.
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Let's throw all your stuff in. Where's
all the stuff? Sir, this was everything.
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How is that everything?
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We collected the entire graduating
class's items this morning. That's all
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got from the whole class?
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There's only 80 of us, so. We can't bury
an empty time capsule.
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Dumpster. It's a dumpster.
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Okay. All right. New rules.
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It's open to the whole school. Every
grade now. Not just you guys. Sorry.
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You couldn't deliver.
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So now I got to open it up. We want to
win world records.
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Okay? We got to fill this to the brim.
So tell everybody, the bigger the
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Bring a memory item.
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Chuck it in if you can reach it.
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Now pick that up and throw it in one by
one.
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Now Malik will teach.
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We always need to be cognizant, that
subtle distinction between knowledge and
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learning. I do think we're out of time,
so we will stop for now. I'll let you
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all go.
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Isn't he amazing?
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He's so captivating.
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Yeah, I'm actually excited to come here.
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Let's go meet him.
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Gerald.
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Gerald.
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Lisa Mason. Hi.
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00:10:24,640 --> 00:10:27,540
It is so good to see you. So good to see
you.
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Wow, I mean, it's amazing to be back in
this room.
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Just so much energy and inspiring. It is
all very exciting.
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I was always a little surprised that you
went to teach high school.
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I know.
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You were the most amazing person in our
class. Oh, stop.
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True, I was the top mark.
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How is the molding of young minds at
Xavier?
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00:10:51,220 --> 00:10:53,960
To be honest, it hasn't been that great.
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It's been pretty bad for a couple years
now.
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Maybe that's good.
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Why would that be good?
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We've had a last second vacancy.
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We are in dire need of a professor to
teach a summer session for us if you
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00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:11,260
I am sure that the department would be
quick to approve a professor with your
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qualification. A professor?
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Oh, my God, professor?
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Yeah, absolutely.
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Like a thousand times yeah.
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Good, good.
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That's great.
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00:11:21,800 --> 00:11:23,200
What's that on your lapel?
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00:11:23,520 --> 00:11:25,160
That's my cat, Mandu.
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00:11:26,100 --> 00:11:27,340
Something of an adorer of cats.
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I like cats.
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They're great.
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I think this visit really helped.
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00:11:35,700 --> 00:11:36,700
I'll wait in the car.
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00:11:37,499 --> 00:11:43,260
As challenging as goodbyes may be for
me, I do like to go around and ask my
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00:11:43,260 --> 00:11:45,440
students what they're going to be up to
for the summer.
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00:11:45,880 --> 00:11:46,880
Where's your elastic band?
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00:11:47,160 --> 00:11:49,840
No, I found a new way to cope. Thank
you.
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00:11:50,100 --> 00:11:54,740
So, Lucy, why don't you go first? My
dorm's letting me move in early, so I'm
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00:11:54,740 --> 00:11:55,740
leaving in a week.
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00:11:56,920 --> 00:12:00,540
Well, now is as good a time as any, I
think.
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00:12:01,180 --> 00:12:02,900
Lucy is graduating!
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00:12:06,540 --> 00:12:08,160
Okay. Stefan!
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00:12:08,680 --> 00:12:09,920
What? Get up!
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00:12:11,200 --> 00:12:14,560
I'm just going to play a bunch of
Fortnite until university starts.
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00:12:15,260 --> 00:12:16,640
So even you're graduating?
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I hope.
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That's everybody graduating.
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00:12:21,880 --> 00:12:26,680
You know
241
00:12:26,680 --> 00:12:33,560
what? I think this is working. I don't
feel as sad. I feel a bit better.
242
00:12:35,370 --> 00:12:36,390
I'm graduating too, miss.
243
00:12:36,890 --> 00:12:40,510
Miss, I'm graduating too. Yeah, you
know, I heard Alex just never been a big
244
00:12:40,510 --> 00:12:41,510
of yours. Sorry.
245
00:12:42,190 --> 00:12:44,410
Does anybody hear any ringing?
246
00:12:44,610 --> 00:12:46,090
I'm hearing like a ringing.
247
00:12:46,370 --> 00:12:47,450
Like it's loud.
248
00:12:48,690 --> 00:12:49,810
What is that?
249
00:12:50,290 --> 00:12:53,010
Okay, so just step up and throw it in
the time capsule.
250
00:12:54,350 --> 00:12:55,730
Nice. Ooh.
251
00:12:56,550 --> 00:12:57,730
Like a pom -pom.
252
00:12:58,010 --> 00:12:59,010
I don't care.
253
00:12:59,870 --> 00:13:00,870
I don't care.
254
00:13:01,590 --> 00:13:02,590
Keep me here.
255
00:13:03,560 --> 00:13:05,020
That's a good hockey hook. What?
256
00:13:05,300 --> 00:13:06,300
Do you want to rematch?
257
00:13:06,440 --> 00:13:07,860
Yeah. Anytime, Paul.
258
00:13:09,960 --> 00:13:10,960
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
259
00:13:11,480 --> 00:13:12,480
What are you doing?
260
00:13:12,920 --> 00:13:16,340
No, don't... Jump in with it?
261
00:13:18,520 --> 00:13:20,200
I don't think it's broken anyway.
262
00:13:20,900 --> 00:13:21,900
Okay.
263
00:13:24,960 --> 00:13:30,440
No, Bethany, I don't think... I'm sick
of this place.
264
00:13:31,020 --> 00:13:34,300
Yeah, I'm sticking with two, John. Oh,
you don't like Tucker anymore, I see.
265
00:13:34,680 --> 00:13:35,700
Nope, I like Bart.
266
00:13:36,820 --> 00:13:37,820
A little better.
267
00:13:37,840 --> 00:13:38,960
Two peas in a pod.
268
00:13:39,860 --> 00:13:41,020
We want to throw you in.
269
00:13:41,780 --> 00:13:42,780
It's not funny.
270
00:13:43,500 --> 00:13:44,500
My blue period.
271
00:13:44,660 --> 00:13:45,660
Unless you want it.
272
00:13:45,900 --> 00:13:46,900
Why would I want that?
273
00:13:47,320 --> 00:13:48,320
My marriage certificate.
274
00:13:48,820 --> 00:13:49,820
Both of them.
275
00:13:53,460 --> 00:13:54,460
What are you doing here?
276
00:13:54,920 --> 00:13:55,920
Stopping for time.
277
00:13:57,580 --> 00:13:59,300
I don't know. Don't throw that.
278
00:13:59,950 --> 00:14:02,650
I'm terrible with that. I like to shake
my hand.
279
00:14:02,910 --> 00:14:03,910
You've got to cover that.
280
00:14:07,970 --> 00:14:09,810
Robert, I'm quitting.
281
00:14:11,710 --> 00:14:15,290
Hmm? I know, I'm sorry. This must be
really difficult for you to hear, but
282
00:14:15,290 --> 00:14:18,450
been offered another job, and I'm going
to accept it because I think it's
283
00:14:18,450 --> 00:14:21,870
important for me to start with a clean
slate if I want to move on with my life.
284
00:14:22,990 --> 00:14:24,090
Didn't you quit last year?
285
00:14:24,790 --> 00:14:26,530
But then I came back, remember?
286
00:14:26,950 --> 00:14:27,950
Hmm.
287
00:14:28,860 --> 00:14:34,580
Oh, right. It's coming back to me. I
brought you back as a librarian?
288
00:14:35,060 --> 00:14:36,060
Guidance counselor.
289
00:14:37,940 --> 00:14:40,740
It's all coming back to me now. So now
you're leaving again.
290
00:14:41,620 --> 00:14:43,380
Yeah, but this time I'm not coming back.
291
00:14:44,240 --> 00:14:45,240
Glad it worked out.
292
00:14:48,020 --> 00:14:50,180
Oh, got to take this.
293
00:14:52,720 --> 00:14:53,720
Hello.
294
00:14:54,480 --> 00:14:55,740
Can you just give me one second?
295
00:15:03,950 --> 00:15:05,050
What can I do for you, Nan?
296
00:15:06,390 --> 00:15:11,290
Two more minutes for you guys, and then
we switch. Let's go. This is a big time
297
00:15:11,290 --> 00:15:15,030
capsule. We're setting a world record.
That's why I brought a reporter. We have
298
00:15:15,030 --> 00:15:16,790
to speed it up a little bit. Let's go.
299
00:15:17,910 --> 00:15:18,910
Why aren't you helping?
300
00:15:19,110 --> 00:15:24,150
I gave you the gift. Now you dig the
hole. You wanted a parting gift. I did
301
00:15:24,150 --> 00:15:28,350
part. Now you dig the hole. Can I ask
why you're burying a dumpster in the
302
00:15:28,350 --> 00:15:31,500
ground? Oh, it's a time capsule. That's
what I was telling you on the phone.
303
00:15:31,500 --> 00:15:34,100
Make sure you get that in the story.
World's biggest time capsule.
304
00:15:34,500 --> 00:15:35,500
Principal Duncan.
305
00:15:37,100 --> 00:15:38,600
Sir, I hit something.
306
00:15:38,860 --> 00:15:41,820
Yeah, you hit dirt. It's called dirt,
and that's why we're taking it out. To
307
00:15:41,820 --> 00:15:43,440
remove it to put the time capsule in.
308
00:15:43,680 --> 00:15:44,680
I broke something.
309
00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:47,240
Oh, what'd you break, Lucy? Your nail?
Give me that.
310
00:15:47,500 --> 00:15:48,560
God, you're so weak.
311
00:15:48,760 --> 00:15:50,040
I don't even know why I picked you.
312
00:15:51,260 --> 00:15:52,260
What is that?
313
00:15:52,480 --> 00:15:53,480
Is that a bone?
314
00:15:53,880 --> 00:15:55,620
Would you relax?
315
00:15:56,750 --> 00:15:59,450
Is that human? Why would there be humans
buried under the school?
316
00:15:59,830 --> 00:16:00,830
I don't know.
317
00:16:00,850 --> 00:16:01,850
Sir, look.
318
00:16:03,510 --> 00:16:04,510
Okay, all right.
319
00:16:05,190 --> 00:16:09,650
Nothing to worry about. It's one of
those old homo sapien type animal bones.
320
00:16:09,870 --> 00:16:14,350
Okay, there's another part. That would
be the femur. Dirt to the right, bones
321
00:16:14,350 --> 00:16:15,350
the left.
322
00:16:15,510 --> 00:16:17,030
Get all the bones out of here.
323
00:16:21,690 --> 00:16:25,450
Some of you may have heard that...
324
00:16:25,720 --> 00:16:31,220
We were digging a hole to bury the time
capsule fun box that I created. What's
325
00:16:31,220 --> 00:16:32,220
he saying?
326
00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:35,240
I can't hear because of the gong.
327
00:16:35,820 --> 00:16:42,820
It's like... Anyway, you've heard that
you hit some bones, which freaked
328
00:16:42,820 --> 00:16:43,820
a lot of you out.
329
00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:48,020
And I'm here to tell you, don't be
freaked out. Not a big deal.
330
00:16:48,240 --> 00:16:52,540
Rumor is, I don't want to alarm you,
they are human bones.
331
00:16:52,920 --> 00:16:54,460
They put a bunch of them together.
332
00:16:55,760 --> 00:16:56,759
So funny.
333
00:16:56,760 --> 00:16:57,880
What's with the skeleton?
334
00:16:58,280 --> 00:16:59,500
He is funny.
335
00:17:00,060 --> 00:17:01,420
What's wrong with you?
336
00:17:01,860 --> 00:17:06,880
So this, to me, is possibly a homo
sapien, hetero sapien.
337
00:17:08,020 --> 00:17:09,280
Paul, hold that.
338
00:17:10,859 --> 00:17:12,060
Here's the bad news.
339
00:17:12,420 --> 00:17:16,599
They are closing the school
indefinitely.
340
00:17:19,579 --> 00:17:22,780
Indefinitely seems like a long time,
Jerry. Definite is long.
341
00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:24,720
Indefinite is...
342
00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:28,460
means we might be open. Do we still have
jobs or what, Jerry?
343
00:17:28,740 --> 00:17:29,740
How am I supposed to know?
344
00:17:30,080 --> 00:17:33,200
If it's definite, we don't. If it's
indefinite, we might.
345
00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:36,160
You're singing to the preacher, so don't
be yelling at me.
346
00:17:36,540 --> 00:17:41,800
They're coming here in 20 minutes to
officially lock up the school until we
347
00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:46,240
out if it's indefinite, fingers crossed,
or definite.
348
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:53,160
If it's definite... Staff, I'm sorry,
but we have...
349
00:17:53,470 --> 00:17:58,970
No job next year, except I think this is
the only smart one right now.
350
00:17:59,910 --> 00:18:02,710
Unfortunately, no ceremony this
afternoon.
351
00:18:03,890 --> 00:18:04,889
Get out of here.
352
00:18:04,890 --> 00:18:07,010
You've got 20 minutes. You've got to be
out of the building. Let's go.
353
00:18:14,790 --> 00:18:18,610
Okay, well, obviously, we can't get into
school to have our last staff meeting,
354
00:18:18,690 --> 00:18:20,750
so I thought we would have it out here.
355
00:18:21,450 --> 00:18:26,430
Why are you here? Something for Simon.
Right. What's with the dirt, and why is
356
00:18:26,430 --> 00:18:27,870
the school closed off?
357
00:18:28,450 --> 00:18:29,950
No one told her.
358
00:18:30,150 --> 00:18:34,190
Has anyone heard from Frank? I did,
actually. He sent me a postcard from
359
00:18:34,190 --> 00:18:36,970
honeymoon, and I think they're having a
really good time, but the postcard was
360
00:18:36,970 --> 00:18:39,090
disgusting. Can we not talk about Frank,
please?
361
00:18:39,490 --> 00:18:43,330
It's nice that we're all just hanging
out together for, like, no reason.
362
00:18:43,650 --> 00:18:45,690
Nisha! There's Simon. You can go.
363
00:18:46,150 --> 00:18:47,150
What? Simon,
364
00:18:48,270 --> 00:18:48,999
you're back!
365
00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:51,840
I told my mom that she and I are through
for good this time.
366
00:18:52,040 --> 00:18:55,940
Simon. I can't hear anything because I
blew my ear out with the gong.
367
00:18:56,240 --> 00:18:57,240
Been there, sister.
368
00:18:57,260 --> 00:18:57,919
It's new.
369
00:18:57,920 --> 00:19:00,460
I just picked it up from one of those
bins.
370
00:19:00,900 --> 00:19:03,720
Well, we got to go because my mom is hot
on my heels. So let's go. Bye,
371
00:19:03,800 --> 00:19:04,659
everyone. Bye.
372
00:19:04,660 --> 00:19:08,260
I can't hear what you're... Well, if you
need us, we'll be at Robert's
373
00:19:08,260 --> 00:19:10,980
Incredibly Lavish Mansion with little
Craigie. Oh.
374
00:19:11,460 --> 00:19:13,800
Hey, our Incredibly Lavish Mansion.
375
00:19:14,120 --> 00:19:17,750
Oh. I guess, yeah. I mean, I'm rich now.
Yeah, big time.
376
00:19:18,030 --> 00:19:19,030
Go on, take it.
377
00:19:19,890 --> 00:19:20,890
Bye.
378
00:19:21,450 --> 00:19:24,730
I mean, that all works out for me. Don
and I are back together. We bought a
379
00:19:24,730 --> 00:19:27,330
place closer to the prison. I'm going to
try to make it work out this time.
380
00:19:27,630 --> 00:19:30,150
Oh, that's sweet. She always seemed
nice.
381
00:19:30,630 --> 00:19:33,410
She's got a little temper, but every
day's a holiday.
382
00:19:33,710 --> 00:19:34,710
Not in prison, it's not.
383
00:19:36,430 --> 00:19:38,310
So, when is this business due?
384
00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:43,920
I've actually been in labor for about
seven hours now, Trudy. So, if you could
385
00:19:43,920 --> 00:19:45,340
give me a ride to the hospital.
386
00:19:45,580 --> 00:19:50,340
Oh, no. I've helped deliver a baby
before, if you want some help. Okay. Oh,
387
00:19:50,380 --> 00:19:51,359
thank you.
388
00:19:51,360 --> 00:19:56,800
Yeah. Why are you so chipper? I'm
Professor Mason, and that's pretty
389
00:19:57,140 --> 00:20:00,200
Plus, I have this really cute colleague,
and he's a cat lover.
390
00:20:01,180 --> 00:20:06,280
Okay. Cheers, Lisa. I don't mean to rush
you, Lisa, but I think I'm crowning.
391
00:20:06,300 --> 00:20:07,860
Ew. Okay. Let's go.
392
00:20:08,669 --> 00:20:10,850
I'm going to take off, too, because you
know what?
393
00:20:11,430 --> 00:20:14,670
I find this just a little too boring.
394
00:20:15,630 --> 00:20:16,630
You're boring.
395
00:20:19,230 --> 00:20:21,450
What about you, Mr. Malick? What are
your plans?
396
00:20:21,870 --> 00:20:24,410
I visit sister, Anya, in Des Moines.
397
00:20:24,950 --> 00:20:25,950
Oh.
398
00:20:27,010 --> 00:20:27,450
Keep
399
00:20:27,450 --> 00:20:34,370
it clean.
400
00:20:35,750 --> 00:20:36,790
Why are you doing that?
401
00:20:42,600 --> 00:20:43,600
That was fun.
402
00:20:45,580 --> 00:20:46,580
Now what?
403
00:20:47,180 --> 00:20:48,180
Now what?
32196
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