Original subtitles

Yeah, I got it. I can tell you boys and men.

There ain't really much out here that's popping up without us. We just want the

credit where it's due.

I'ma worry about me, and I'ma work about you. This is just a reminder to myself.

I wear every single chain, even when I'm in the house. Cause we started from the

bottom, now we're here.

Started from the bottom, now the whole team here. Started from the bottom, now

we're here.

Started from the bottom, now the whole team here.

Get lost, Amanda Susan. Not now.

Nice suit. You selling RVs now?

No, I'm not selling RVs. I actually bought an RV. Because I got a raise.

And now I got money. Can you read the plate, please?

Principal? Principal.

Seriously? If a teacher sends you to my office, I'm shutting the door. And the

best part is, I don't have to teach you anymore.

You know you misspelled principal, right? No, because there's no first I.

you're such a little spelling bee, champ. I dropped the first I on purpose.

Because you're only allowed eight letters in a personalized plate. So you

to condense it and be creative.

But you wouldn't know this because you don't drive. So mind your own business

and go to class.

All right, still wrong.

Two, four, six, eight. Who do we appreciate?

Me.

I'm sick of you.

I'm awesome. No, you're not, dude. Don't lie. I'm awesome. I'm driving around in

my mom's ride. I'm awesome. A quarter of my life gone by.

I'm awesome.

Folks, I have an announcement to make, and I'll be honest, it's a bit of a

weirdie. Are you dying?

Inside, yeah, actually.

Jerry Duncan.

Is our new principal.

Shut the fuck up. What?

No. Yeah. No.

Yeah. Not my principal. What? How is that possible? He's completely

I thought you fired him. I did. But after Insider's look, the board felt the

only way to preserve our reputation was to promote him. I'm still vice

principal, though, right? Co -vice principals now.

Well, more the merrier.

You told them?

I did. Ah!

I wanted to tell you.

Congratulations,

Jerry. Shut up, Frank.

What? I like him. I like you too. Well, at least you're not going to be teaching

anymore. That's a win for the students. I'm amazed the board found something

you're even worse at.

Today is a dark day. I will not work for him. I know, Lisa. It's a page turn

that none of us thought coming.

He's got no skill set. I don't work for anyone. The board wanted to hire him.

Don't you think that hurts my feelings? I know.

No, he's a giant.

You know what this is?

It's a coop attempt.

The old coop attempt. When you want to overtake your leader, a group of you get

together, form a coop.

Stop saying coop.

The P is silent. It's coo. It is not coo.

Very uncoo.

So, my coop back.

So you're all fired. Bye. It's the end of that. You can't fire them. They have

contracts. Okay, can't fire you. You have contracts, which I will look at.

Meeting adjourned.

Don't call meetings without me next time.

Maybe it'll be okay.

Yeah, maybe unicorns will fly out of your ass.

Oh, cute dog, Brandon.

But unfortunately, pets aren't allowed in school.

I'm allowed to have one. This is my emotional support dog, Trooper. He helps

with my anxiety.

Oh, Trooper, are you going to raise a little hell?

Oh.

Well, look at this little face.

Miss, miss, oh, actually, you're not supposed to play with him. Why?

It messes with his focus.

But he's such a good boy.

Miss, please, please don't touch him. Well, maybe I have a little anxiety,

Problems with Mr. Hunt?

What? How do you know about that?

Students know when the teachers are dating.

You don't talk about that.

Well, that really does help. Miss, please, please don't touch him. But he's

a good boy.

Yes, you are. Yes, you are. Yes, you are. Miss?

Yeah, okay. Yeah, I got it. Okay.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

I'm done.

What are you doing home? I went to work and the doors were locked.

Evidently, Barrels is bankrupt.

I am unemployed.

Jeez, what?

Yeah. That's terrible.

It's my favorite bar.

And my entire source of income. So there's also that.

Lots of bars out there. You'll find something.

You know, I think I'm done with bartending. I'm going to branch out and

own business.

Doing what?

I don't know. It's been 20 minutes.

I figured it out for you.

I got my own situation going on right now at work, so I don't think I'd make a

good principal.

You won't. I don't think I'll do a good job.

Why don't you do something nice for them, and then they'll be on your side?

idea. Like what? You were a teacher. What would make you happy?

like a whole slew of things. First of all, don't tell me. I don't care.

Tell them.

You're the best.

And I have everybody's attention.

Hello. Excuse me, everybody.

Quiet.

Thank you.

Now, you've heard the rumors. They are true. I am the new principal of Xavier

Academy.

Okay. Ah, okay.

Still doubters or haters, but I will promise you this and no one thing. I

be the greatest leader this school has ever seen.

What an idiot.

Jerry, um, do you maybe want to run whatever it is you're about to do by us

first? Co -Vice Principal Cheely, everybody. He had his chance and failed

miserably as principal.

Miss Mason also failed.

miserably as principal. Jerry, come on. That's why I'm here. New leader. New

person in charge. New chief.

There's going to be change. And the first change is going to be no more

ever.

You teachers don't have to mark it. You kids don't have to do it. Oh, what else

do I want to do? How about summer being longer? School now ends May 15th.

Wait.

Longer summer.

Enjoy your summer. Enjoy your summer.

He had my curiosity, but now he has my attention.

What the hell is he doing?

Earlier vacation, let him finish. School day ends at one o 'clock. Boom.

One o 'clock.

Starting today.

Oh, oh, oh, oh.

Oh, except Mondays. Uh, except Mondays. You can't leave at one o 'clock on

Mondays. Because on Mondays... There will be no school because I don't like

Mondays! I don't like this!

No,

no, no, no, no.

No.

Okay. Okay.

What do you want? I get that you hate Mondays, but you can't just implement

these changes. The finish system, is that what you're doing?

No, I'm not finished.

Just get started.

No.

Finland. They implemented all the changes you're proposing. And how did it

out?

Actually, pretty great.

Worked really well. But they had an infrastructure to support it, and we

Oh, you might want to turn your head and look at the steel beams supporting the

school. Doesn't even know anything about engineering.

It's quarter to one, everybody. In 15 minutes, I want you to go home.

Goodbye. Spread the word. I don't think you can do this. Any of it.

Then how come I just did it?

Oh, thanks. I just grabbed this. Heading to the disco later?

What? Anyway, thanks for a long weekend, sir. Glad everyone's enjoying my wave.

Hey, you're the D in education.

I'm the D? Yes, I am the D in education.

Principal D.

That's stupid.

I'm the D in education.

Oh, what do you want?

Apparently the media has gotten wind of your Finnish system and Johnny and Marie

in the Morning want you to come on the air, live, what could possibly go wrong,

and talk about it. Johnny and Marie in the Morning? I love that show. It's

radio, so you might want to dial that back, but whatever.

I'm going to be famous.

Yeah.

Oh, you're serious.

Oh, bless.

All I know for sure is that sometimes things happen in... Oh, is this more

Boss Hogg, what are you wearing?

It's a group of angry parents wondering what to do with their children when they

get out of school at 1 o 'clock.

Tell them we will implement an after -school program. What about Mondays?

do an all -day program on Mondays, okay?

How are you going to implement that?

I've said what I've got to say.

I tell you, you tell them.

Really? Man from GLAAD?

I'm talking about GLAAD.

This is Jip, and he is part of our class.

Uh, what's going on, miss? Well, this is Jip, okay? You wouldn't let me play

with your dog, so I got my own.

I don't think I'd like... I think your dog might be scaring my dog. Actually,

that's impossible.

My dog is providing emotional support, just like Trooper.

You sure? I'm already calmer.

It's staring at me like it's ready to attack. Okay, well, maybe we should just

let them play, okay? No, that seems like a bad idea.

We're joined by Jerry Duncan of Xavier Academy. Jerry recently instituted the

Finnish education system, getting rid of homework, shortening the school day.

First of all, I'm a huge fan of Johnny Marie.

88 .9, Johnny Marie in the morning.

I listen to it every morning when I get up.

Also, kids call me Principal D.

I also lengthened summer and canceled school on Mondays.

Right. Because Mondays suck, right? Yuck. Mondays suck. I love when you do

Yeah. She cuts you off sometimes.

I always wonder if it's planned when I listen. Now, what inspired you to even

try this?

Principal D. A couple things.

Xavier Academy needs some improvements.

Former principals sucked.

What's up, Mr. Cheely?

Miss Mason?

We have a vice principal right now whose wife is in jail for murdering his ex

-wife. You want stories for Johnny and Maria in the morning. He's a good guy.

He's a good guy. The other two, they're not listening. What I did was I

researched the Finnish school system, which I was very familiar with.

because I studied Finnish history.

Realized that we need to do this. Did it by myself.

No one suggested it. And that's why I'm being reverend right now.

You're being revered. Revered.

Now, Finland is a very socialist country. They have an infrastructure in

there that supports their system. How do you plan to adjust for that?

Can you say that again?

Yes, absolutely.

So Finland is a very socialist country and there they have an infrastructure

that supports their system. How do you plan to deal with that here?

I'm not into this political confrontation right now that you're

me in because I don't know what any of that means. But I do know that in

they have a green room when you do a radio show with snacks.

Like a muffin or something at 6 in the morning. No snacks.

No snacks.

Something to get on with your bath. I'm parched. Get me a drink. No water,

nothing. What are we going to do? I think you'll survive. Thanks for coming

Mr. Duncan. That's the end.

We'll be right back.

Are you kidding me?

What did I say about leaving school without permission?

Everything at the cafeteria sucks.

The smoothies are great here. And it's lunch.

Don't care. Get!

Woo!

Robert. William.

Sorry to bother you, but I couldn't help but overhear your problem.

Nosy much?

Yeah, well, I might have a solution.

Can I come by your office with a proposal later?

You know what? If it will stop this daily smoothie exodus, I'm all ears.

All right. Looks like you won't be getting scurvy.

There's our fearless leader.

You got it. Starting tonight, I need everybody to sign up.

All right, volunteer after -school program. I know how much you guys love

volunteer. Everybody take a turn, rotate every week, and we'll all get it

covered as a group because I know how much you guys contribute to after

programs. So let's everybody chip in, take a day, and we'll just get this

covered. What?

Malik will do it.

Okay, that's... Mr. Malik, your job is not to interact with the kids.

Your job is to clean up after them because there's a hierarchy at the

Right? Principal, phys ed teachers, vice principal, teachers, students.

Substitute teachers, custodian, and then the librarian down there. Do you

understand?

All right.

Start signing up. Get it out of the way.

All right? We need you to do some extracurricular.

Out -of -school program.

Who's first?

Thanks, guys.

Mr. Malik.

Oh.

Hey, I was looking for you. I think I'm going to take you up on that offer to

volunteer today for the after -school program, so... My job is not interacting

with the students, remember?

Principal? Yeah.

I'll get to you.

Yeah.

I need to go to the bathroom.

Then go.

I need you to come with me.

Why? To wipe my bum.

Can someone volunteer to take John to the bathroom, please?

To wipe my bum.

I guess it's you, big boy.

Let's go. Get some gloves first.

Oh, great.

Come on.

Hold

my

call.

Well, you can't do that right now because we have company.

Mr. Duncan. Jack Grover, Minister of Education.

Hello, Father.

Not that kind of minister, you idiot.

I'm very impressed with what you're doing here, Mr. Duncan. That's why I've

brought my deputies to shadow you and see how your program works.

For how long?

Indefinitely. But look, right now what I really need from you is a full report

on what you're doing.

Like an email?

That's very funny, Mr. Duncan.

You see, we want to see if this is something we can explore across the

Now, I assume that you're monitoring progress anyway, so send me whatever

update you have every Monday.

We don't have school Mondays. I can't. No, we don't have school on Mondays, but

you do. The after -school program for students.

So I'll leave you and my deputies to it, then.

Yippee.

So everybody in the school works less, except me. I work more, and I'm the

principal. I'm supposed to do nothing.

Wow. You're a constant source of inspiration, old captain, my captain.

Don't forget, you have a big interview tonight.

Oh, come on. I'm exhausted.

Cancel that.

This is all your own creation, Jerry.

Maybe I don't want it anymore.

Well, the good news is they found Trooper. Oh, I'm glad.

Well, can you explain to me what Jim's doing here?

So Brandon got an emotional support dog.

He wouldn't let me play with him.

So he wouldn't let you play with him, so you got your own dog?

Correct.

Yes, I did.

Yes, I did. Misha, aren't emotional support dogs supposed to be kind? Well,

a little jittery. I picked him up in a shelter.

What? Shelter.

Yes, I did.

Get rid of Jim, please.

Take him out back and yell at him?

No, no, leave him at home.

Oh, I can't. No dogs at my apartment.

What?

Hello? Awesome. In -house smoothie bar. Thanks to Bill, there will be no more

smoothie -related tardiness.

Yeah, I'm Bill, by the way.

Yeah, we know who you are.

Cool, cool. Where's getting around?

Sure is.

Can I get a banana one?

So, how much do I owe you?

I'll start you a tab. I know where you go to school.

Um, Bill?

Yeah. You remember what I'll refer to as the incident.

I remember.

Have you ever told anyone about that? No. Why would I tell anyone about it?

Okay, because I haven't either.

Just making sure. Because I'm a pretty important person around here. You know,

it just wouldn't be a good look.

It's a good thing.

Between you and me.

So we agree.

Want a smoothie?

Mommy, may I?

Our next guest has introduced a very exciting educational program at Xavier

Academy. Please welcome Principal Jerry Duncan.

Hey, how are you? Great, thank you. Do you have any water?

Oh, yes, there's water right there, Mr. Duncan.

Thank you.

It's a long day.

Okay, thirsty.

Yeah. We're so excited to talk to you about this program. We understand that

it's been very successful in Finland and that you have followed that program

here with shorter days, no homework, and no school on Mondays. So can you please

tell us a little bit more about how the program is working and how successful

it's been?

Well, I think it was successful, but I'm going to cancel the program.

Cancel? Hey, everybody, back at Xavier, program's canceled, so regular school.

Hours tomorrow.

Too much.

Mr. Duncan, this is a bit of a surprise, I must say. Yeah, me too. We were just

speaking with the education minister, and he seemed quite excited about it.

Because he doesn't do it.

I do it. Right. I'm the pioneer. I'm the one wiping kids' bums. I'm the one

staying on a Monday going, everyone's home.

Like, if the minister likes it, the minister should come in and help. Right.

It's just falling on me. I'm not doing it anymore, and I'm so sick and tired.

Of doing everything.

So are you telling me that you're canceling this beneficial program

you're tired?

Sick and tired.

It's over.

That's the only people it's benefiting.

Well, I would think they would be the only people that really matter in this

scenario. Teachers and principals and the teachers are benefiting too. Okay,

well. But the only person not benefiting is the person that implemented it. And

that is wrong.

You don't implement something and not.

benefit from it. That is socialist in every way.

I think we should just wrap this up, perhaps. See you at school tomorrow.

you, Mr. Duncan.

No daycare, parents. 3 .30, pick your kids up.

Troop is here for me, and Ralph's here for Troop, because your dog really

him up. Well, now they're two super cute dogs I'm not allowed to play with.

Exactly. Oh, man.

That's really hard.

I know, but... No, no. Yeah, but don't. But don't do that. You're cute. You're

cute. Who's cuter? We are friends. We are friends.

Oh, he wants to play with me. I know. Look, you're messing him up.

I'm literally not touching him. I know, but it's just stressing me out. Thank

you. Thank you. I'm good. Okay.

Oh, okay. Yeah, good. No, I got it. You good? Yeah.

Okay. Thank you. Love you. Love you. Love you.

Can't do that. Please. Got it.

Awesome. Awesome.

Awesome. Awesome. For more Mr. D, please check out the website.

Charity .com.