Original subtitles

Badminton test.

You gotta test for badminton.

How many times do I have to explain how teaching works, Bill?

Many. Teaching has changed.

You can't just watch a kid play badminton now and give them a mark.

I would do. Now you gotta give them a test. They gotta know the dimensions of

the court, the rules, the weight of the shuttlecock.

A kid can suck at badminton and still ace badminton.

Like right now, the kid with the top mark in my badminton unit cannot hit the

shuttlecock over the net.

Please stop saying shuttlecock.

It's called a birdie. Well, uh, question four.

The proper name for a badminton birdie is A, flying cock.

Close. Not that close.

B, air cock.

Also close.

Still not close. C, shuttle cock. Or D,

shuttle cock.

See what I did with C and D? Yeah. I made them close for the kids that like

guess. Because a lot of kids will have heard me say this word, but they weren't

listening. Shuttle cock.

C. In fact, this test, I made every answer.

C. You made a tricky answer, C.

Yeah. Wouldn't they catch on, though, by the next test?

That's stupid.

I'm not making the next test all Cs.

Ds, all Ds. And they'll go, is he doing it again?

No way he'd do it again.

Mentally dominate them again. Next test, all A. Right.

Yeah, no, I picked up on the system. Yeah, see this kid, John? Like, I

he was on to it, because no one's getting it. He did five Cs in a row.

And then in his mind he went, there's no way.

Mr. D would do a fix. He couldn't commit. He out -thought himself.

See? Oh, that's good. That's good. It's probably easier to mark, too. What I do

is I just cover the other letters, and I look for Cs.

I don't even, I don't even, it takes like a minute of test.

Let's go down. No C, no C, no C, no C. I'm awesome.

No, you're not, dude. Don't lie. I'm awesome. I'm driving around in my mom's

ride. I'm awesome. A quarter of my life gone by.

I'm awesome.

Hi, little Craig.

Such a bold face and such an unremarkable body.

What? Hey, Bobby, are you sure this whole back -to -work -so -soon thing is

good idea? What's that supposed to mean, Frank?

Nothing. Because she's a woman who gave birth to a tiny little baby just a week

ago? She's not able to come back and run a phys -ed department?

Thank you, Robert.

More power to you, Bobby.

Oh. Are your hands clean? If you're asking, like, they smell like crutch

no, they're fine, perv. Calm down. They're fine.

Whatever.

Hey, Bobby.

Yeah. I just want you to know, I know it's a lot, coming back to work with a

little baby, and I am here for you.

Anything I can do to help, I just want you to know, I got your back, and I'm

telling you a little back, too. I could actually do it with a break, so thank

you. Okay. That's fantastic.

Hey, Craig.

Daddy duty.

Yeah, perfect.

There you go, Craig.

Okay. Let's go to Papa. Here.

Who's Daddy? No, his Daddy.

Yeah. Hi, buddy. That's what I said. Nope, nothing.

Daddy, I'll see you later. No.

Who's a baby?

Your head smells so good.

Can I eat your hand?

There's about a three in your face.

Swish!

Huh? Okay? Nice!

Was I short? Was I short?

Throw it back out to me. Throw it back out to me. I'll make that next time.

Oh.

Time out, time out. I called time out. No, you didn't.

I called time out.

Sir. Lucy, not now, we're playing.

Sir. Lucy, get off the court. Sir. Lucy, Lucy.

Sir. See what you did? What?

You said we could switch every three minutes.

Okay, I did, yeah.

It's been 12 minutes.

12 minutes.

All right, let's go.

Switch it up.

Let's get the subs on, the double dribblers.

It's not going to be a long break. They're not getting three minutes.

Come on. Pass the ball. It's not that good.

Pass. Jerry.

What?

I'm kind of doing something right now called teaching.

I'll be quick. Yeah. I just need to know where your formative assessments are.

My, uh... Formative assessments.

I just got off the phone with Lucy's mother. She's like, why is she getting a

in gym?

Do that.

No, it's not.

It's physical.

No,

they're not the same ones.

I went to look at her form. It's not adjusted by the mark. There's nothing

there. They're blank.

If her mom wants to know why she got a 63, which should have been a 53, this is

what you'll see.

Hey, Lucy, can you just take a shot?

Try to make that.

Yikers Island.

The point is, I can't tell every parent to just come watch.

You teach, right? We don't want to open that can of worms.

They can just trust me. The best way to get them to trust you?

Formative assessment.

Formative assessment.

All right, I'm going to do them. I might have done them already. Let me check.

Who are you going to check with? Me. I'm going to check. I might have done them

already. Should I wait while you check with yourself? I don't even know. Just

the formative assessment. I might have to do the formative assessment.

Hey. Have you done your formative assessment?

Oh, yeah. Every day.

Great. Can I just copy them? Okay, copy them. We teach different subjects to

different students.

Oh. Do you know what they are? No. Okay, I'll show you mine.

Have a look.

You can see, got the names of my students and then the categories I'm

them on. And all these letters indicate how they're doing. So D for developing

and D for not developing.

C for can't wait to get them out of here.

I'm just kidding. You're supposed to do this every day. Yes, throughout the day.

It's an arduous and ongoing process.

But I like to play with the kids.

You're not going to be able to do that anymore.

No. Why don't we just give them a test?

No, that'd be summative assessment.

Easily confused.

Summative comes at the end. That's like the destination.

And then the formative assessment, that's the long, painstaking journey

Just keeps going. So these don't even count towards their month? No. This is

parents that have driven the bureaucrats to do this. That is why my dream is to

teach at a school for orphans.

Cut out the parents. Brilliant.

Brilliant. This is a complete waste of our time. Yes, it is. Yeah. But we have

to do it.

All right, Alex. Have a good day at school, okay?

Can't have a good day without a good hug.

Okay.

That's the sugar. All right. Alex.

Alex. Stop. God. Go to school.

I mean, it's ridiculous.

11 .15 is way too early to have lunch. I know. They just ate breakfast.

Excuse me, ladies.

Hi.

Hi. Sorry.

Excuse me.

Lisa McKenzie, PTA president.

I just wanted to let you know that if you have any complaints about the

school... More importantly, the faculty.

I would love to hear them.

Well, this is our first year here, so we don't want to rock the boat. No, rock

it. Rock it like a hurricane.

Rock it!

I take great pride in addressing every single grievance. In fact, there is no

grievance too small for this PTA president to raise hell.

Really? Yeah. In fact, why don't we meet at the school tomorrow and talk it

over? Sounds great.

Or we're doing lunch, if you'd like to join us. You want to have lunch with me?

Give me your number. I'll text you the address.

Okay.

We're friends.

Okay, time out. Time out. Stay where you are. Good shot, Aaliyah.

Aaliyah, Aaliyah, there you go. Good arm extension.

Nice high elbow. Steady hand.

Jump shot.

Developed.

You got to develop to go. Game on. Let's go. Come on. No, Lucy.

Stop! Time out!

Why are you even in this class?

Okay, hold on.

Lucy, terrified of a path.

Receiving the path not developed for you.

Sir, why do we have to stop after every play? Because I have to monitor you. I

have to monitor every student, every play during class. It's called formative

assessment. And I have to take the data I see and enter it into here.

It's called teaching.

Can't you just watch us then, like a teacher? No, I can't, because if I don't

play, I don't get to show you how things are done. Unlike a lot of your phys ed

teachers, I like to get in there and demonstrate how it's done. Well, this

fun for us. Well, it's not fun for me either. What do you want me to do?

I said stop playing with the balls.

Everybody gets a not develop today.

Frozen again.

Stupid program.

Is there a problem? I just spent the whole afternoon entering all this

assessment, and it's frozen. Gone.

Lost it all. Have to re -enter. Waste of time. I thought the whole point of

teaching Jim was... Sorry.

I thought the whole point of teaching fifth ed was that there was less

Yeah, but this is worse than marking. It's actually more work, and the marks

don't even count. We just have to enter it all to cover our asses when we give

them the real marks.

Stupid. I want to be clear that I don't really understand what you're saying,

but I also, I don't care. I should be on the court connecting with the kids,

teaching them, showing them by example how to be a great athlete. But instead I

have to do this BS, and I don't get paid anything extra.

Yeah, that sucks.

I just get my barbacks to do all the little stuff I don't care about.

Hey, Steve, you supposed to go to Jerry's for a minute? Okay, well, for

information, Steve, I don't have a barback that can do... Think about it.

Wait a second.

You're gonna get it.

I have a whole class full of barbacks. I have 25 helpers.

There it is.

I'll get it.

Okay. Hey, thanks again for holding down the fort. Of course. As I said, I'm

always happy to help, even if it means you sleep the whole night long through

every feeding.

Oh, did you not have a good night's sleep?

Oh, you probably couldn't hear from upstairs with the door shut at the other

of the house.

Yeah, Craig didn't pleat much last night. Neither of us did. That is weird.

Craig, did you not have a good nighty -poo? No, he did not.

Well, you know what? You are up for a fun day with your dad today.

Mommy's super jealous.

What? I thought that... Are we good here or what?

Yeah,

we're fine. Great. Just maybe we could switch up at like... Middle of the day

just for feeding something?

We don't need to because I prepped a bunch of bottles for you. Have a great

boys.

Where would

you be without the bottles?

Oh, right.

Thank you so much. Bye, buddy.

Don't call.

Just figure it out.

Isn't she great?

That's how I feel.

Brandon, where's your phys ed uniform?

I forgot it.

Perfect. I need you to do something for me. Come on over here.

Actually, I was going to work on my history assignment. This is a phys ed

You don't forget your uniform, probably on purpose, so you can work on another

subject. I'm not stupid.

Get over here.

I have a phys ed assignment for you.

This is a formative assessment sheet.

I need you to fill that out for me while the class is on.

Um, what's the point of this?

There is no point.

That's why I'm getting you to do it. See how that works? Watch the kids play.

Look at everybody.

Find their name.

Put a letter under the column.

Add a comment. I don't care. Just fill it out. Just make sure it's filled out.

guess. Good.

Have a seat.

Okay, everybody.

Game on.

Let's go.

I hear Mrs.

Robertson gives three hours of homework a night.

It's too much.

That is too much. Okay, so workload grievances. I'm going to go right

to administration about that one. Okay, what else you got for me? My kids say

the guidance counselor is kind of a pervy creep.

Oh, your kids are so perceptive. He's disgusting.

How great is this? We have a direct line to the president.

Oh, this is great for me too.

We should do this more often. We actually do this every day.

You should join us.

Oh, that sounds like so much fun. I would love to.

Well, cheers to that.

Okay. Yeah, cheers to that. But what about Principal Cheely? Any complaints

there? He can be a bit much. Yeah. But apparently he's a huge step up from that

awful Principal Mason.

I don't know. That's a little harsh.

I heard she married the worst teacher in the school.

Twice. And I heard she threw a fun fair that ended with a burning cross and

clansmen dancing on stage.

Have you met her, Lisa?

Once, twice, maybe, and passing. Sounds like you dodged a bullet there.

Well, cheers to that, ladies.

Jack,

pick nice.

Sorry, sir.

See what you did? What do you want?

Don't get so rattled. Okay, what do you want? Oh, sorry. Could you explain the

difference between developing and proficient just one more time?

better than developing. Okay? Thank you. See ya. Come on. Another question.

What? Amy's form is terrible, but she keeps making all of us shocked, so I was

just wondering which one that would be.

Proficient, non -proficient. I don't care. I just need you to fill that out.

letters, put grades, put comments. Who cares? Okay? Thank you. Another

Oh, my gosh. Time out.

Sorry. Sorry.

Look, this isn't rocket science. It's a chart.

There's names, columns, letters. I don't care what you put in there. I just need

you to fill it out with anything.

All this analytical stuff is stressing me. I don't want to ruin it. I don't

to mess this up for you.

Okay, all right.

Okay, relax.

I'm panicking a little bit. Okay, I don't want you to have a panic attack,

Just... What's your favorite subject?

My favorite subject?

Art. I have an idea. Come on over here. One sec.

Okay, look, look.

Hey, look, how about we do this? How about we do this?

from an autistic point of view.

Let's say the sheet is your easel, right? The letters, your paints, and the

columns there, that's your canvas.

And the desk, that's your art studio.

Well, now express yourself.

That really helps. And that was beautiful. What? I just made it up. I

a waste of a subject. Stupid.

I can't believe kids take it. That's not right, but okay. Yeah, but anyway, if

it helps me get through this...

Paint away.

Okay. Okay? Get to work. All right?

Thank you.

Three visually impaired mice.

Three visually impaired mice.

Your eyelids are getting heavy.

Who's a good little boy?

You could have a nappy.

Yes, you are.

Your neck doesn't work.

You're nice and quiet.

Don't get that from your mom.

Want to see me?

Jerry. Hey.

I want to talk to you about your formative investment.

Damn it, Brandon, you idiot.

Jerry.

They're spectacular.

Really? Yeah.

Well, uh, you're welcome. You asked, and I did it. Easy. Thank you, Jerry.

I called Lucy's mom?

and I had all the information I needed to justify her mark.

It's so detailed, I felt like I was in the gym watching her developments. The

reason we do those formative assessments right is so we can justify why they got

the grade they got, so... I mean, this stuff is great. These comments that you

have, like, Jason flicks his wrist with the grace of a swan taking first flight.

Result? Squish.

I mean, that's poetry.

I guess I was in a poetic...

Sort of mind... Now I guess I just need the rest of your classes.

Just like this.

You just said I had to do this class. You didn't mention it. No, you start

this class and then you do the rest of them. We have to do this every day for

every class for the whole year.

Yeah? It's a lot of work.

Yeah.

I didn't know you had it in you. I did too good.

Oh, you should probably... Oh, my God.

Bullshit.

Great!

I'm so sorry I'm late.

What are we talking about?

Only about how annoying it is that Pokemon cards got banned at the school.

My little Troy loves them.

And guess what human piece of garbage apparently decided to ban them?

Principal Mason.

Ding, ding, ding!

What a stick in the mud.

Sounds like she was the worst. I'm sure she didn't make that decision hastily. I

mean, I'm sure she actually put a lot of work into studying their impact on

student success and determined that they were, in fact...

Distracting enough to lower student averages by, I don't know, like 7%.

sounds like a fan of Principal Mason. I was just speculating.

I can tell you it's not speculation.

She practices kissing on her cats.

No.

Yeah. What a loser.

Real lonely.

Mr. Hunt, can I steal Brandon for a minute, please?

Oh, we're just reviewing everything for next week's test, so it's kind of

important. And this is very important.

Well, very Trump. Kind of. Okay, get out of here, Brandon.

All right, this next thing will definitely be on the test, so pay

Should I have to listen to that? No, I'm only going to say this once.

All right, let's go.

What's up, sir? Oh, I need you to do some formative assessment stuff for my

grade 10 physics class. I'm in a class right now. Yeah, it'll just take like 20

minutes and you can head right back to class.

Well, I thought I was just doing it for my class. So did I, but you were so good

with your fancy little comments. I need you to do all my classes now. But you

said, you said paint a canvas.

Yeah, I didn't say paint a Picasso.

And because you did such a great job, I made you my official.

Excuse me? You're my SAG.

You're my formative assessment guy. I made you a little sign and everything.

I can't miss class every day.

It won't be long. You'll come in quickly, and as you get better, you'll

off minutes.

Plus, you hate phys ed, so I'm going to give you some bonus marks for being my F

.A .G. Is it possible you could call me something else? No, but I can't fit

formative assessment guy on the sign. You're my F .A .G. You're Mr.

F .A .G. in the school now.

Really? I think so.

Okay. Sure.

So own it. I can't wait. Get to work. All right. Everybody, let's go!

Bobby, Bobby.

What? What's up? Please take a break for a second.

Fine, no problem. But I thought you wanted to pull your weight as a father.

sorry that spending time with your son is such a burden for you. It's not a

burden. I've had him all day. It's like having another limb. I haven't had a

chance to brush my teeth. I've worked to do my nipples crack. My feet hurt. Oh,

fine. I'm sorry. It's such an inconvenience.

Oh, my God.

It's a... Yeah.

Wow. I should have never deaded you, Bobby.

You grow more fresh -faced by the day.

How does she do it? Could we have a round of applause for Supermom over

Oh, come on.

Thanks, everybody. I mean, I'm just doing my best. I'm doing what anybody

would do, just maybe a bit better.

Yeah, high five.

Still nothing.

Deadbeat. Have you no shame?

What's that, Craig?

Yeah, I want to go too.

I know.

Who's a little man?

Yeah, I've had enough sleep, too.

Who's a little man?

Who's a sleepy little man?