All language subtitles for mr._d_s07e05_formative_bullshit

Badminton test.

You gotta test for badminton.

How many times do I have to explain how
teaching works, Bill?

Many. Teaching has changed.

You can't just watch a kid play
badminton now and give them a mark.

I would do. Now you gotta give them a
test. They gotta know the dimensions of

the court, the rules, the weight of the
shuttlecock.

A kid can suck at badminton and still
ace badminton.

Like right now, the kid with the top
mark in my badminton unit cannot hit the

shuttlecock over the net.

Please stop saying shuttlecock.

It's called a birdie. Well, uh, question
four.

The proper name for a badminton birdie
is A, flying cock.

Close. Not that close.

B, air cock.

Also close.

Still not close. C, shuttle cock. Or D,

shuttle cock.

See what I did with C and D? Yeah. I
made them close for the kids that like

guess. Because a lot of kids will have
heard me say this word, but they weren't

listening. Shuttle cock.

C. In fact, this test, I made every
answer.

C. You made a tricky answer, C.

Yeah. Wouldn't they catch on, though, by
the next test?

That's stupid.

I'm not making the next test all Cs.

Ds, all Ds. And they'll go, is he doing
it again?

No way he'd do it again.

Mentally dominate them again. Next test,
all A. Right.

Yeah, no, I picked up on the system.
Yeah, see this kid, John? Like, I

he was on to it, because no one's
getting it. He did five Cs in a row.

And then in his mind he went, there's no
way.

Mr. D would do a fix. He couldn't
commit. He out -thought himself.

See? Oh, that's good. That's good. It's
probably easier to mark, too. What I do

is I just cover the other letters, and I
look for Cs.

I don't even, I don't even, it takes
like a minute of test.

Let's go down. No C, no C, no C, no C.
I'm awesome.

No, you're not, dude. Don't lie. I'm
awesome. I'm driving around in my mom's

ride. I'm awesome. A quarter of my life
gone by.

I'm awesome.

Hi, little Craig.

Such a bold face and such an
unremarkable body.

What? Hey, Bobby, are you sure this
whole back -to -work -so -soon thing is

good idea? What's that supposed to mean,
Frank?

Nothing. Because she's a woman who gave
birth to a tiny little baby just a week

ago? She's not able to come back and run
a phys -ed department?

Thank you, Robert.

More power to you, Bobby.

Oh. Are your hands clean? If you're
asking, like, they smell like crutch

no, they're fine, perv. Calm down.
They're fine.

Whatever.

Hey, Bobby.

Yeah. I just want you to know, I know
it's a lot, coming back to work with a

little baby, and I am here for you.

Anything I can do to help, I just want
you to know, I got your back, and I'm

telling you a little back, too. I could
actually do it with a break, so thank

you. Okay. That's fantastic.

Hey, Craig.

Daddy duty.

Yeah, perfect.

There you go, Craig.

Okay. Let's go to Papa. Here.

Who's Daddy? No, his Daddy.

Yeah. Hi, buddy. That's what I said.
Nope, nothing.

Daddy, I'll see you later. No.

Who's a baby?

Your head smells so good.

Can I eat your hand?

There's about a three in your face.

Swish!

Huh? Okay? Nice!

Was I short? Was I short?

Throw it back out to me. Throw it back
out to me. I'll make that next time.

Oh.

Time out, time out. I called time out.
No, you didn't.

I called time out.

Sir. Lucy, not now, we're playing.

Sir. Lucy, get off the court. Sir. Lucy,
Lucy.

Sir. See what you did? What?

You said we could switch every three
minutes.

Okay, I did, yeah.

It's been 12 minutes.

12 minutes.

All right, let's go.

Switch it up.

Let's get the subs on, the double
dribblers.

It's not going to be a long break.
They're not getting three minutes.

Come on. Pass the ball. It's not that
good.

Pass. Jerry.

What?

I'm kind of doing something right now
called teaching.

I'll be quick. Yeah. I just need to know
where your formative assessments are.

My, uh... Formative assessments.

I just got off the phone with Lucy's
mother. She's like, why is she getting a

in gym?

Do that.

No, it's not.

It's physical.

No,

they're not the same ones.

I went to look at her form. It's not
adjusted by the mark. There's nothing

there. They're blank.

If her mom wants to know why she got a
63, which should have been a 53, this is

what you'll see.

Hey, Lucy, can you just take a shot?

Try to make that.

Yikers Island.

The point is, I can't tell every parent
to just come watch.

You teach, right? We don't want to open
that can of worms.

They can just trust me. The best way to
get them to trust you?

Formative assessment.

Formative assessment.

All right, I'm going to do them. I might
have done them already. Let me check.

Who are you going to check with? Me. I'm
going to check. I might have done them

already. Should I wait while you check
with yourself? I don't even know. Just

the formative assessment. I might have
to do the formative assessment.

Hey. Have you done your formative
assessment?

Oh, yeah. Every day.

Great. Can I just copy them? Okay, copy
them. We teach different subjects to

different students.

Oh. Do you know what they are? No. Okay,
I'll show you mine.

Have a look.

You can see, got the names of my
students and then the categories I'm

them on. And all these letters indicate
how they're doing. So D for developing

and D for not developing.

C for can't wait to get them out of
here.

I'm just kidding. You're supposed to do
this every day. Yes, throughout the day.

It's an arduous and ongoing process.

But I like to play with the kids.

You're not going to be able to do that
anymore.

No. Why don't we just give them a test?

No, that'd be summative assessment.

Easily confused.

Summative comes at the end. That's like
the destination.

And then the formative assessment,
that's the long, painstaking journey

Just keeps going. So these don't even
count towards their month? No. This is

parents that have driven the bureaucrats
to do this. That is why my dream is to

teach at a school for orphans.

Cut out the parents. Brilliant.

Brilliant. This is a complete waste of
our time. Yes, it is. Yeah. But we have

to do it.

All right, Alex. Have a good day at
school, okay?

Can't have a good day without a good
hug.

Okay.

That's the sugar. All right. Alex.

Alex. Stop. God. Go to school.

I mean, it's ridiculous.

11 .15 is way too early to have lunch. I
know. They just ate breakfast.

Excuse me, ladies.

Hi.

Hi. Sorry.

Excuse me.

Lisa McKenzie, PTA president.

I just wanted to let you know that if
you have any complaints about the

school... More importantly, the faculty.

I would love to hear them.

Well, this is our first year here, so we
don't want to rock the boat. No, rock

it. Rock it like a hurricane.

Rock it!

I take great pride in addressing every
single grievance. In fact, there is no

grievance too small for this PTA
president to raise hell.

Really? Yeah. In fact, why don't we meet
at the school tomorrow and talk it

over? Sounds great.

Or we're doing lunch, if you'd like to
join us. You want to have lunch with me?

Give me your number. I'll text you the
address.

Okay.

We're friends.

Okay, time out. Time out. Stay where you
are. Good shot, Aaliyah.

Aaliyah, Aaliyah, there you go. Good arm
extension.

Nice high elbow. Steady hand.

Jump shot.

Developed.

You got to develop to go. Game on. Let's
go. Come on. No, Lucy.

Stop! Time out!

Why are you even in this class?

Okay, hold on.

Lucy, terrified of a path.

Receiving the path not developed for
you.

Sir, why do we have to stop after every
play? Because I have to monitor you. I

have to monitor every student, every
play during class. It's called formative

assessment. And I have to take the data
I see and enter it into here.

It's called teaching.

Can't you just watch us then, like a
teacher? No, I can't, because if I don't

play, I don't get to show you how things
are done. Unlike a lot of your phys ed

teachers, I like to get in there and
demonstrate how it's done. Well, this

fun for us. Well, it's not fun for me
either. What do you want me to do?

I said stop playing with the balls.

Everybody gets a not develop today.

Frozen again.

Stupid program.

Is there a problem? I just spent the
whole afternoon entering all this

assessment, and it's frozen. Gone.

Lost it all. Have to re -enter. Waste of
time. I thought the whole point of

teaching Jim was... Sorry.

I thought the whole point of teaching
fifth ed was that there was less

Yeah, but this is worse than marking.
It's actually more work, and the marks

don't even count. We just have to enter
it all to cover our asses when we give

them the real marks.

Stupid. I want to be clear that I don't
really understand what you're saying,

but I also, I don't care. I should be on
the court connecting with the kids,

teaching them, showing them by example
how to be a great athlete. But instead I

have to do this BS, and I don't get paid
anything extra.

Yeah, that sucks.

I just get my barbacks to do all the
little stuff I don't care about.

Hey, Steve, you supposed to go to
Jerry's for a minute? Okay, well, for

information, Steve, I don't have a
barback that can do... Think about it.

Wait a second.

You're gonna get it.

I have a whole class full of barbacks. I
have 25 helpers.

There it is.

I'll get it.

Okay. Hey, thanks again for holding down
the fort. Of course. As I said, I'm

always happy to help, even if it means
you sleep the whole night long through

every feeding.

Oh, did you not have a good night's
sleep?

Oh, you probably couldn't hear from
upstairs with the door shut at the other

of the house.

Yeah, Craig didn't pleat much last
night. Neither of us did. That is weird.

Craig, did you not have a good nighty
-poo? No, he did not.

Well, you know what? You are up for a
fun day with your dad today.

Mommy's super jealous.

What? I thought that... Are we good here
or what?

Yeah,

we're fine. Great. Just maybe we could
switch up at like... Middle of the day

just for feeding something?

We don't need to because I prepped a
bunch of bottles for you. Have a great

boys.

Where would

you be without the bottles?

Oh, right.

Thank you so much. Bye, buddy.

Don't call.

Just figure it out.

Isn't she great?

That's how I feel.

Brandon, where's your phys ed uniform?

I forgot it.

Perfect. I need you to do something for
me. Come on over here.

Actually, I was going to work on my
history assignment. This is a phys ed

You don't forget your uniform, probably
on purpose, so you can work on another

subject. I'm not stupid.

Get over here.

I have a phys ed assignment for you.

This is a formative assessment sheet.

I need you to fill that out for me while
the class is on.

Um, what's the point of this?

There is no point.

That's why I'm getting you to do it. See
how that works? Watch the kids play.

Look at everybody.

Find their name.

Put a letter under the column.

Add a comment. I don't care. Just fill
it out. Just make sure it's filled out.

guess. Good.

Have a seat.

Okay, everybody.

Game on.

Let's go.

I hear Mrs.

Robertson gives three hours of homework
a night.

It's too much.

That is too much. Okay, so workload
grievances. I'm going to go right

to administration about that one. Okay,
what else you got for me? My kids say

the guidance counselor is kind of a
pervy creep.

Oh, your kids are so perceptive. He's
disgusting.

How great is this? We have a direct line
to the president.

Oh, this is great for me too.

We should do this more often. We
actually do this every day.

You should join us.

Oh, that sounds like so much fun. I
would love to.

Well, cheers to that.

Okay. Yeah, cheers to that. But what
about Principal Cheely? Any complaints

there? He can be a bit much. Yeah. But
apparently he's a huge step up from that

awful Principal Mason.

I don't know. That's a little harsh.

I heard she married the worst teacher in
the school.

Twice. And I heard she threw a fun fair
that ended with a burning cross and

clansmen dancing on stage.

Have you met her, Lisa?

Once, twice, maybe, and passing. Sounds
like you dodged a bullet there.

Well, cheers to that, ladies.

Jack,

pick nice.

Sorry, sir.

See what you did? What do you want?

Don't get so rattled. Okay, what do you
want? Oh, sorry. Could you explain the

difference between developing and
proficient just one more time?

better than developing. Okay? Thank you.
See ya. Come on. Another question.

What? Amy's form is terrible, but she
keeps making all of us shocked, so I was

just wondering which one that would be.

Proficient, non -proficient. I don't
care. I just need you to fill that out.

letters, put grades, put comments. Who
cares? Okay? Thank you. Another

Oh, my gosh. Time out.

Sorry. Sorry.

Look, this isn't rocket science. It's a
chart.

There's names, columns, letters. I don't
care what you put in there. I just need

you to fill it out with anything.

All this analytical stuff is stressing
me. I don't want to ruin it. I don't

to mess this up for you.

Okay, all right.

Okay, relax.

I'm panicking a little bit. Okay, I
don't want you to have a panic attack,

Just... What's your favorite subject?

My favorite subject?

Art. I have an idea. Come on over here.
One sec.

Okay, look, look.

Hey, look, how about we do this? How
about we do this?

from an autistic point of view.

Let's say the sheet is your easel,
right? The letters, your paints, and the

columns there, that's your canvas.

And the desk, that's your art studio.

Well, now express yourself.

That really helps. And that was
beautiful. What? I just made it up. I

a waste of a subject. Stupid.

I can't believe kids take it. That's not
right, but okay. Yeah, but anyway, if

it helps me get through this...

Paint away.

Okay. Okay? Get to work. All right?

Thank you.

Three visually impaired mice.

Three visually impaired mice.

Your eyelids are getting heavy.

Who's a good little boy?

You could have a nappy.

Yes, you are.

Your neck doesn't work.

You're nice and quiet.

Don't get that from your mom.

Want to see me?

Jerry. Hey.

I want to talk to you about your
formative investment.

Damn it, Brandon, you idiot.

Jerry.

They're spectacular.

Really? Yeah.

Well, uh, you're welcome. You asked, and
I did it. Easy. Thank you, Jerry.

I called Lucy's mom?

and I had all the information I needed
to justify her mark.

It's so detailed, I felt like I was in
the gym watching her developments. The

reason we do those formative assessments
right is so we can justify why they got

the grade they got, so... I mean, this
stuff is great. These comments that you

have, like, Jason flicks his wrist with
the grace of a swan taking first flight.

Result? Squish.

I mean, that's poetry.

I guess I was in a poetic...

Sort of mind... Now I guess I just need
the rest of your classes.

Just like this.

You just said I had to do this class.
You didn't mention it. No, you start

this class and then you do the rest of
them. We have to do this every day for

every class for the whole year.

Yeah? It's a lot of work.

Yeah.

I didn't know you had it in you. I did
too good.

Oh, you should probably... Oh, my God.

Bullshit.

Great!

I'm so sorry I'm late.

What are we talking about?

Only about how annoying it is that
Pokemon cards got banned at the school.

My little Troy loves them.

And guess what human piece of garbage
apparently decided to ban them?

Principal Mason.

Ding, ding, ding!

What a stick in the mud.

Sounds like she was the worst. I'm sure
she didn't make that decision hastily. I

mean, I'm sure she actually put a lot of
work into studying their impact on

student success and determined that they
were, in fact...

Distracting enough to lower student
averages by, I don't know, like 7%.

sounds like a fan of Principal Mason. I
was just speculating.

I can tell you it's not speculation.

She practices kissing on her cats.

No.

Yeah. What a loser.

Real lonely.

Mr. Hunt, can I steal Brandon for a
minute, please?

Oh, we're just reviewing everything for
next week's test, so it's kind of

important. And this is very important.

Well, very Trump. Kind of. Okay, get out
of here, Brandon.

All right, this next thing will
definitely be on the test, so pay

Should I have to listen to that? No, I'm
only going to say this once.

All right, let's go.

What's up, sir? Oh, I need you to do
some formative assessment stuff for my

grade 10 physics class. I'm in a class
right now. Yeah, it'll just take like 20

minutes and you can head right back to
class.

Well, I thought I was just doing it for
my class. So did I, but you were so good

with your fancy little comments. I need
you to do all my classes now. But you

said, you said paint a canvas.

Yeah, I didn't say paint a Picasso.

And because you did such a great job, I
made you my official.

Excuse me? You're my SAG.

You're my formative assessment guy. I
made you a little sign and everything.

I can't miss class every day.

It won't be long. You'll come in
quickly, and as you get better, you'll

off minutes.

Plus, you hate phys ed, so I'm going to
give you some bonus marks for being my F

.A .G. Is it possible you could call me
something else? No, but I can't fit

formative assessment guy on the sign.
You're my F .A .G. You're Mr.

F .A .G. in the school now.

Really? I think so.

Okay. Sure.

So own it. I can't wait. Get to work.
All right. Everybody, let's go!

Bobby, Bobby.

What? What's up? Please take a break for
a second.

Fine, no problem. But I thought you
wanted to pull your weight as a father.

sorry that spending time with your son
is such a burden for you. It's not a

burden. I've had him all day. It's like
having another limb. I haven't had a

chance to brush my teeth. I've worked to
do my nipples crack. My feet hurt. Oh,

fine. I'm sorry. It's such an
inconvenience.

Oh, my God.

It's a... Yeah.

Wow. I should have never deaded you,
Bobby.

You grow more fresh -faced by the day.

How does she do it? Could we have a
round of applause for Supermom over

Oh, come on.

Thanks, everybody. I mean, I'm just
doing my best. I'm doing what anybody

would do, just maybe a bit better.

Yeah, high five.

Still nothing.

Deadbeat. Have you no shame?

What's that, Craig?

Yeah, I want to go too.

I know.

Who's a little man?

Yeah, I've had enough sleep, too.

Who's a little man?

Who's a sleepy little man?