All language subtitles for mr._d_s06e03_gerry_gets_a_kid

Really, Connie?

You think I'm blind and stupid?

No. Staring right at it. Right out in
the open. Not... What is going on here?

do not cheat in this class.

Wow! You people have a lot of courage to
just cheat right out in the open like

that. Not even trying to hide it. Who
else has one of these? Hold it up.

Oh, great.

The group cheat.

Blatant. Blatant disrespect.

What have I said about cheating?

Cheaters never profit. You heard that
saying before?

One honest person right here. Thank you,
Jordan. The only person not cheating.

I will trust you forever.

Do you understand how that works?

This is where I think the cheater's
right here. There's a cheater. There's

another cheater. Cheater, cheater,
cheater.

All of you.

Sir, you said we could have a cheat
sheet.

Let me just double check that. Did I say
you could have it?

I can't say.

Okay, okay, all right.

Sometimes.

Well, you're not a good listener,
Jordan.

That's what I got out of this
conversation.

Jordan doesn't listen. So I guess when
I'm up here talking every day, you're

just like, oh, wow, look at me, nothing.

Have fun writing that.

Sorry, can I have my cheat sheet back?
Yeah, sorry about that. There you go. I

just sort of divided it up into
sections.

Yeah, go get those. Go ahead.

Yeah.

Great. Grab your cheat sheets.

Good. You're allowed those.

Let's go. Hurry up, people.

Don't have all day here.

Back to cheating. Keep your eyes on your
own cheat sheet, please.

I'm awesome.

No, you're not, dude. Don't lie. I'm
awesome. I'm driving around in my mom's

ride. I'm awesome. A quarter of my life
gone by.

I'm awesome.

Hey, Mr. Duncan.

Guess what? Love to guess Hayden, but,
uh... My baseball team's playing

and I would love it if you came. I can
save you a seat in the bleachers.

Aw.

And what have I said about this before?

That if you go to my after -school
events, you have to go to every other

after -school event.

That's what I keep saying, and I don't
want to do that. I don't want to go to

your events, any of them, ever. Don't
want to do stuff after school with you.

don't know how to make that sink in. So
please stop asking me to do stuff with

you. Please, for me.

Thank you. Bye.

Oh, my God. That kid does not get it.

You know, normally I love watching you
crush their little spirits, but you

should go easier on Hayden right now.
His dad's on his deathbed.

His dad's on his... Why didn't you say
that?

I didn't want to cut in. Anyway, yeah,
it's supposed to be happening soon, like

a matter of days.

A minute.

Could be happening now.

Or now. That's awful.

Yeah. But I'm sorry. He's annoying. He's
always asking me to do stuff. I want to

play catch.

I don't want to play catch with you
after school. That sounds sweet.

That's sweet.

It's needy, and it's annoying, and it's
every day. Well, more money for the rest

of us, I guess.

What do you mean by that?

Rumor has it that Hayden's favorite
faculty members are going to get a

something -something when his dad dies.
Oh, my gosh. They're loaded.

His dad's loaded.

I thought you said you've been blowing
him off for years.

No, but for some reason, he keeps
boomeranging back.

Well, money changes a lot of things.
He's not a bad kid, either. Like, if

That was a bad example, but if you
really, like...

Get a chance to know him like I have a
little bit. I gotta go to a game. I

should go to a game. I love going to
Little League games. Wear a hat, some

sunglasses, slap on a mustache.

It's like going undercover.

I don't think you should do that.

Yeah, I've been escorted off a couple of
fields in my day.

Yeah, I gotta go find Hayden. Okay.

Yep. I'm gonna... stand.

So, I have a little news update.

What's going on? As of today, Robert and
I...

Our co -principals.

Yeah, right.

Pandora's box. She's open.

Seriously. It's for the best, you know,
with the school expansion. The board

probably thought it was too big a job,
even for me.

Or perhaps they lost confidence in you
after you almost burned down the school,

got involved in a racially charged
mishap with the chairman, and then

one of your staff.

I guess we'll never know.

How, God help us, is Robert taking this?
Oh, you know Robert.

You left without telling me what time
your game starts tonight.

Uh, but you said never to ask you again.

That's so us.

That's what we do. You ask me to do
something, I usually say no, get lost, I

don't want to, get out of my face, and
that's the Duncan Hayden banter. That's

how it works. We have Duncan Hayden
banter? That's us.

Well, the game starts at six, but if
you're early, we can have a catch.

Won't be early. Won't be playing catch.

But I'll be there. Okay.

I'll see you tonight.

Tell your dad I'm gonna be there. See
ya.

Okay. All right, thanks.

Hey!

What position are you?

No, I don't play. I'm just there in case
someone doesn't show up. Okay, you

still want me to come?

Yeah. Okay, I'll come watch you sit on
the bench. All right, deal. Okay.

Life is like double dutch.

Problem's just looking to hit you in the
ankles. You don't take it. You just bob

and weave. That's it.

Good. Good, good, good.

Good job.

Oh, my God. I love double dutch.

Well, get in there, you saucy elf. Okay.

Okay. There you go.

Look at this.

How?

Whoa. Are you okay?

Oh, totally.

NBD, let's keep going. I think your head
is bleeding. No, it's just a scratch.

Okay. So let's get these fun ropes
swinging.

What a champ. Go, Nisha. Thanks.

Holy mother of Pete.

Again.

Miss, maybe you should... Damn it.

Miss Galka told me to go to the
principal's office.

Again. You know where it is.

Trudy, so just to be clear... When a
student is sent to the principal's

you send half of them to me. They're not
playing favorites, Robert. They can't

stand either one of you. They're just
used to turning left to go into the

principal's office.

Of course, we're all very sorry to hear
about the passing of Hayden's dad.

He was a wonderful and giving man, and a
real looker, if I may say so.

Oh, shut up. Seriously?

Mr. Gilmore's estate lawyer is here, and
he has some information he'd like to

share with us. Thank you.

Since the death of Hayden's mother, Mr.
Gilmore has been very grateful to all of

you, Hayden's favorite staff members,
for the support system that you

and he just wanted to give you a little
something to show his appreciation.

Trudy Walsh. Hello.

For your kindness and support, Mr.
Gilmore bequeathed you $5 ,000.

He what now?

What? As? He didn't even know he knew
you. $5 ,000.

May you take the adult cruise you always
talked about.

Oh, I will.

The hedonism? The one with all the
single people? Just stay away from it.

all I ask.

Sorry. Bobby Goka.

Yeah. For encouraging Hayden to keep fit
while having fun.

He's a good kid.

$5 ,000.

That's very generous.

I accept.

Being a bad role model.

May you buy that Harley and ride into
the sunset with your Dykes on Bikes club

that I understand you so revere.

I don't understand.

I don't care.

Mr. Hunt, for turning Hayden onto
science?

Literally my job.

$10 ,000.

$10 ,000.

It's going up. It's going up.

Might join that club.

And lastly, something that's going up.

Oh, my God, 50.

Jerry Duncan.

Just say 50.

Just say it. Every day, Hayden would
come home and rave about the amazing Mr.

Duncan. Every day. Didn't do that for
these three. A man who is so committed

educating his students that he didn't
have time to attend Hayden's events.

Praised, committed. Those are some
expensive words.

And that is why, Mr. Duncan.

Thanks, buddy.

That Mr. Gilmore bequeathed you his most
valued possession.

Lamborghini. Your dad had a Lamborghini.
Legal guardianship of Hayden.

A path.

It's a hard path.

Out. I'm out. To ensure that Hayden's
needs will be met, you'll be given a

monthly allowance of $5 ,000.

Gotcha. Gotcha.

Didn't I? You... Shut up. You all...

Thought I was serious.

The classic Duncan Hayden banter.

The $5 ,000 a month classic Hayden
Duncan banter. Welcome to my family.

It's a happy ending, just like you might
find on The Oprah Show. Can you send me

the payment in cash? Because my bank
puts a hold on all my checks.

Gotta be cash.

Get in here!

Good morning, Co -Principal Mason.

What did you do with all my stuff?

Oh, I made the co -executive decision to
just swap offices.

Well, why?

You know what?

I don't even care.

Do you want to know why I did it? The
kids were getting confused about which

office was the principal's office, so I
thought I'd do this to help them wrap

their zombie little brains around it.

That's great.

Whatever you say.

Great.

I was told to see the principal.

Go on in.

Hi. Have a seat.

That leaves Jerry $49

.05 a month to babysit.

Hi, Mr.

Duncan. Hey, Tiger. How are you? I just
wanted to thank you for looking after

me. I bet it's tough, and it's my
pleasure.

Anything else?

Well, it's Tuesday.

My dad always took me to the movies on
Tuesday. Do you think you and I could

Your dad took you every Tuesday?

It's got to come off my side, I guess.

All right.

Four times 20.

Okay.

Thanks. Could I also get some money for
my eye exam?

An eye exam? Your eyes look great.

I've just been getting these blinding
headaches whenever I look at the board.

I'm pretty sure I need glasses.

Stop looking at the board, then.

Okay.

It's a one -time thing, though. One
time. Look, I'm running out of money

One time. Look after them.

I think it'll cost more than that. No,
they haven't at the gas station. There's

different colors and sizes.

Get a strong prescription so you can
grow into it. What time are we going to

movie? We?

I'm not going.

You think I'm made of money? I can't.

You go.

You be a movie critic.

Okay. All right, pal.

Let me know how the movie is, all right?

Oh, my gosh. Mr.

Siskel and Ebert has to go to the movies
every week?

Excuse me. You know the rules?

Cell phones away, please.

Why no double -dusting? Because they
banned it after you lost two pints of

blood. Really?

Oh, well, I'm very sorry.

But, hey, there's lots of other great
games you guys can play. There's, um,

Freestag, or, um, Popscot, um, there's
Red Rover.

All banned for teachers for being too
dangerous or violent.

Really?

Huh. Skipping was the only thing we had
left, and you ruined it.

And... You suck.

Let's go, lady.

That's your language.

Hey, don't...

Listen, you better be taking care of
that kid. He's been through enough

I am treating him well, very well.
Tonight I'm treating him to a movie,

actually, to celebrate.

What, his father's death?

No, our new relationship, our new
situation.

Well, I've got you here.

Next year's tuition is due really soon.

How much is it? Thirteen and a half
thousand.

Thirteen and a half thousand dollars.

What about a discount for teachers?

That is with a discount.

Oh, come on. He shouldn't be at a
private school anyway with all these

divas that run around this place.

Public school is fine for him. Look at
her.

Snob. Wow.

Lucky kid.

Thank you. You're an idiot.

Just a friendly reminder that Vice
Principal Cheely will be collecting

permission slips.

So if you would please stop by the
office.

Hello, Xavier.

Just wanted to clarify a tiny error. I
believe Ms. Walsh meant to say Co

-Principal Cheely will be collecting the
slips because Co -Principal Mason now

shares the title. We're equals.

Although technically she was demoted and
I was... And my office is now on the

left and the door is always open to
people.

Night, little buddy. Mr. D, do you think
I'll ever get my own bedroom or

blanket? You're in a fort.

How much better is that? And I got a
towel for you, a thick towel.

Don't be a complainer.

It just really hurts my back.

Wow, those are growing pains.

Besides, out here you're going to have a
ton of fun with Mr. Hunt. I'm having a

great time so far.

This guy's killing me at flashlight tag.

Have a good sleep. I gotta go.

I usually have a bath before bed.

What are you, three months old?

You can't have a bath every night?

Bath before bed.

It's wasteful. One bath, once a week,
clean yourself really well.

Yeah, that's a good point.

Gotta clean it well.

I also have a hole in my pants.

Can't fall in the playground.

I got a lot to learn.

I gotta get some sleep.

See ya, buddy.

See ya, Mr. Hunt. Yeah, you gotta pick
and choose where you run.

You're it.

Can you please not do that, Mr. Hunt?

Oh, if I have the nightmare tonight,
wake me up, okay? You'll know I'm having

if I'm, like, really screaming the word
mother. If I'm saying mother no really,

really loud, I'm going mother no.

But if I'm having the good dream where
I'm like, thanks, mother, do not wake

Don't wake me there.

Girl,

amazing news.

I found a game that no one can get her
playing. It is fun and a classic.

Drum roll.

Cool. Okay.

It's Stella Ella Ola. Do you guys know
it?

Yes.

Okay, we'll get in a circle.

Okay, let's play.

So, do the hands.

You guys know it. And it goes.

in Amanda's News.

Hey, Robert.

Do you have a minute?

Not really, no.

Look, I heard that you're having a hard
time getting people to take you

seriously.

Lisa, to you this might be small
potatoes, but I've waited my entire life

for this.

You might have to get a gag order.

But I am not going to stop spreading the
word until every single one of those

zombie -brained kids gets it through
their thick skulls that I am one of the

principals, and along with that comes
the responsibility of that title. Okay.

Uh, I was just coming in to see if you
wanted to help me with some principal

work, but you're clearly going through
something, so... What do I want?

Really? It has to be done by tomorrow,
though. I do tonight. Are you sure?

Gimme. Come on. You can have it.

Here you go.

Also, there's a couple of students
waiting outside to see the principal.

I want those kids so bad.

Okay, I will send them in to see co
-principal Cheely.

Co -principal Mason?

Mm -hmm.

Thank you.

Yeah, okay.

Thank you, Hayden.

How's the music getting?

They're not even connected.

How is... There's nothing connecting my
phone.

Hey, buddy.

No, Hayden, you can't come in here,
buddy. It's the staff room.

I finished my pack of ramen and I'm
still starving.

I gave you the large pack.

Did you put the powder on top? That's
for all the nutrients.

Gives you the energy.

Please, sir. Can I have some more?

More?

That's from, uh... Um...

You can finish my lunch.

I will do without.

Was ham on it, but... Now get out of
here. You can't be in the staff room.

There he is.

Yeah, and there's Jerry.

Hayden, I'm from child services.

I hear you've had quite a week.

Would you like to come with me and we'll
find a more suitable home?

Goodbye, Mr. Duncan.

It's really, really thought the two of
them can make it. Look at him. He

even care.

I hope he never procreates. Stop the
image.

Jerry, I heard child services took
Hayden.

When did that happen?

Seriously? Just now.

No one tells me anything.

You know what? It's probably for the
best. That kid was costing me a fortune.

Now I can focus on my finances.

You don't get to keep the money because
that's child support.

No Hayden, no cash.

Stupid law that is. Any other kids in
the school that are orphans? I need an

orphan. I can't afford this lifestyle
without an orphan.

Find me any orphan in the school, and I
will take them.

Great parenting, Jerry. Great job.

Oh, and there goes absentee mom of the
year. It's amazing.

Nice.

I remember the day Malik was stripped
from parents.

Screams. Gunshots.

How does this always come back to be
about you?

Man.

He makes a fair point.

Malik can digress.