All language subtitles for mr._d_s05e11_hellicopter_mom

Next, please.

Hey, Emma.

Emma. Okay.

Hello.

Is that what you're going to wear for
your photo? Uh, Jerry, your books are

forever. I am making a statement about
who I am and the type of teacher I was.

First of all, you're not a teacher.
Next, please. You're a librarian. Let's

remember that. And nobody cares about
what statements you have. You know what,

Jerry? You wear whatever stupid purple
shirt.

You what, Bernie?

Turn around and look.

I'm going to stand out.

Good? Yeah, that's great.

Wow. Thank you. That's a keeper.

Okay. Oh, go, sister.

All right. That's great.

Good.

Yeah. Wait a second. Can I put on a
cardigan or something?

Hold it there.

I'm awesome.

No, you're not, dude. Don't lie.

Mr. Duncan?

Hi, Candace Wilk. Sorry to drop in
unannounced. I just wondered if we could

a chat about the 57 % you gave Zach in
phys ed.

Oh, uh, yeah.

Yeah, uh, Zachary got a 57 because
that's what he deserved.

I'm sorry, I guess I'm just not
understanding you. He, uh, he's late for

all the time. He doesn't always pay
attention, doesn't always have his

shoes, but more importantly, very
aggressive with a lot of the other

the class.

Zachary? Is anything that Mr. Duncan's
saying even remotely true?

No, Mommy.

Oh, no.

He's just a big misunderstanding.

Of course he's going to deny it. That's
probably what I would do if I was a kid.

Are you calling my Zachary a liar?

Well, I'm calling him disruptive, and if
he's denying that, then I guess we can

also say he's a liar.

There's definitely a liar in the room,
but it's not my Zachary. Oh, then are

the liar?

I'm not a liar. I'm calling you a liar.

Oh, I'm the liar. My Zachary's an angel,
and I don't appreciate this slander.

Why don't we just agree on a more
suitable mark and not let this be a

stain on Zach's report card?

Well, how about we just agree that the
mark's going to stay the same for now,

and if he improves his attitude and his
listening skills and remembers to bring

his uniform, we can probably raise the
mark. Okay?

Mommy? Let's go, Zachary.

Don't forget your running shoes for
class today, Zachary. That'd be a good

start.

Nice try.

Nice try.

Hey, everyone. I made pecan cookies.

Oh, sweet, merciful pecans. Nobody likes
pecans, Bobby. Oh, come on, Emma. Oh,

pecans. I'd rather drink pee from the
can.

I had no idea. I mean, I kind of like
pecans. You would.

Well, that's not great.

Almond cake, anyone?

Trust me, Nish, it's a tough crowd
around here.

Oh, mother may I.

Almond? Now that's a nut you want
tickling the back of your gullet.

Yeah, but these are homemade.

Wow,

even a shutter, huh?

I'm a happy little one.

Lucky you, you get to have all of them.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Have a nice day, Mr. Duncan.

Yeah, you too.

What's she doing here?

Is she gone? For now.

That woman gives me night terrors.

You know her too? Everybody knows her,
Jerry.

I had her son Wyatt last year. Big
cheater. Awful kid. I take that.

He's not the best kid either. So what
did you do?

Well, after the first wrath of Candace,
I just gave him an A.

Much easier.

You can't do that. Are you serious?

I still got a lot of work to do on
myself to undo that damage.

You guys are worried about a little
soccer mom?

She's not a soccer mom, Jerry.

She's a helicopter mom.

She's an overprotective, overinvolved
parent who hovers over every little

her child does. This is what I have to
put up with at 8 .15 every morning on

dot.

Good morning, Trudy. I suspect Zachary
might be developing an allergy to

bananas, so could you please make sure
that no students near him have bananas

with them? Okay? Thank you.

She leaves you a message every day. 8
.15 sharp. That voice makes me wish I

back in Desert Storm.

You know her, too. She complained harsh
chemicals were poisoning her spawn.

Now I must use green products.

School is chemical free.

But filthier than taco bar toilet.

You guys are soft, if you ask me. It's
just a mom.

What was she doing here? She booked an
appointment with Lisa to complain about

Jerry. What'd you do?

Complain about me? I just gave her kid a
low mark in phys ed because he deserved

it. Kids take phys ed to pad their
averages.

Better have an airtight reason or she
will eat you alive.

You guys are being ridiculous.

I'm not afraid of her.

Then I'm afraid for your life.

Toughen up, will you?

Pencils for sale!

Just don't call here.

I've got your standard, mechanical, and
your lovely pencil crayon.

Can I call you back?

Great.

What can I do for you, Ricky?

Oh my God, is this thing on?

I just told you I'm selling pencils.

For my life skills class.

You know, politeness is also a life
skill. Just saying. Great.

Politely buy a pencil.

All right. How much are they?

Seventy -five cents each.

Kind of steep.

All right. I will take one.

Big spender.

You know what? You go back and you say
to Zach, do that again and you're dead.

Do that for me, okay? Go ahead.

Do that again and you're dead.

That'll work.

Good job, buddy.

Hey, Trudy, can I talk to you about
something?

Oh, here we go.

Okay, that response.

I need to be responsible. and now it
feels like I'm the butt of everyone's

Yeah, you are. You've become the staff
punching bag. What? It's the loser that

everyone mocks to blow off steam. Every
group has one. Now it's you.

That's just cruel. And isn't it Lisa? It
used to be Lisa. But now she has firing

power. She's a dangerous bag to punch.

Well, how is that my problem?

There was a void, Bobby. A vacuum. It
needed filling and you got sucked in.

about you?

Oh, Bobby.

Come on.

The only way to fix this is by pushing
someone else into the void.

Or we don't have a void. What happens if
we're just nice to each other? Bobby,

nature abhors an unfilled void.

Amen, sister.

Okay, what about Robert? He's pathetic.

Yeah, but he's too pathetic.

Nobody's laughing anymore.

Yeah, I get that.

But Robert, right? Oh, Robert.

Right? Nice try.

Not working, huh?

Would you scoot?

I don't want anyone to see me talking to
you.

And not only did Mr. Duncan refuse to
change the mark, he also insinuated some

things about Zavri being aggressive that
I find extremely offensive.

Well, I'm sure he didn't mean... Mr.
Duncan, you have to knock.

I'll knock later. Hey, Ms. Wilkes. I
have a video that I would like to show

everyone here.

You should have probably found it first.

Where is this going, Mr. Duncan?

Videos. That's me diving.

My friend's pool.

See, this is what I'm talking about. He
insults my child. He waits time looking

for a video. There it is. There.

Who's that?

Who's that? Is that Zachary?

Pushing another littler guy, huh? Zach,
right? Let me rewind that for Miss

Mason. Look at that. There's Zachary.
See him? I see it, Mr. Duncan.

You know what? The only thing I see is
that the teacher invaded my son's

by recording him without his knowledge
or consent.

It's kind of thick.

I didn't record it. Someone else did.
That's not your phone? It's my phone,

they sent me the link.

I find that hard to believe.

Are you calling me a liar?

No, I'm calling you a voyeur.

Okay, let's just settle down.

Mr. Duncan, did you take that video?

No. No?

No.

If my teacher says he didn't do it, then
he didn't do it.

But he just showed you. Ms. Wilkes?

It seems pretty clear.

that Zach has the problem with conduct
and not Mr. Duncan.

Now, it is my hope that you deal with
this at home. It's my hope, too.

it's both of our hopes, I think.

All right, you take care.

Do not video the children, Jerry.

I know, I know, that's not... Ever. Just
don't do it.

But, in this case, I'm... No but.

But it's good that I... No, it's not.

You want to see my dad?

No. Okay.

Morning, Mr. Duncan.

I love the chat, but I'm actually a
little... You're late.

Yeah, I know that you're supposed to be
in Zachary's class. Instead, you left a

room full of eight -year -olds
unattended. God knows what they're up to

there. Wow. That video really got to
you. Good.

But it's only been a couple minutes. I'm
sure they're fine.

You know what?

It takes less than 30 seconds for a
child to drown.

Well, hopefully no one's running the
bathtub in the gym right now.

When children sense a lack of
supervision, they start acting out. Next

know, they're swinging off the
basketball net. Good old monkey time,

Net snaps.

Guess what? Now Timmy's sucking
sandwiches through a straw, and that's

Well, while you were saying that, two
more kids could have drowned.

Maybe Zachary. And that's on you.

I win, and that kills you. Deal with it.

Good one, Malik.

You get the guy one job to do, and he
blew it. Huh, Mr.

Clotso here?

Can't take this guy anywhere, am I
right?

I have long held your opinion in the
highest esteem, and I'm

devastated to embarrass myself in front
of you.

Okay, Malik, I was just fine. This is
terrible shame for me.

Don't listen to her.

Everybody knows Bobby is the worst.

Thank you, Miss Emma.

I now hold your opinion in the highest
esteem.

I had a void in my heart shaped like a
booby.

You have just filled said void.

That's powerful stuff.

The booby is still here.

You have got to be kidding me.

With a clipboard.

Don't go near it, Jerry. Don't poke the
bear.

Uh, hello. What are you doing here?

Just crunching some numbers.

I don't know what that means, but can
you crunch them somewhere else? Because

you're distracting the kids.

Actually, you're the one who's
distracted from the kids.

Come again?

You see, the student -teacher ratio is
already alarmingly low here.

So I don't appreciate you and Mr. Hunt
yammering. Hey, Mr.

Hunt. Oh, you're most welcome.

See me back here, huh? Yep.

I've already counted.

Six indiscretions in the past ten
minutes alone.

But look here. Got some horseplay at 10
.16.

Then a child gagged on some chewy candy.

Then at 10 .20, two children were
kissing behind that tree for upwards of

minutes. It's probably Marge and George.

Hey, all of this is nothing. This means
nothing.

I'm not doing anything wrong here.
Kissing is a gateway to teen pregnancy.

Oh, I'd say that's something.

So maybe you want to watch your kids.

Wouldn't you agree, Mr. Hunt? Oh, yeah,
100%. Gateway.

Can you shut up? Stop, stop, stop. I
think this proves how unfit you are to

teaching, Mr. Duncan.

Got it all here.

I got a list.

You know what happens to kids like
Zachary when they have a parent like

Doesn't he good? They go away to
university as far away as possible just

away from you. Then, then, then they
tell their friends, you're dead.

They just love to hear the sound of
their voice saying that.

Oh, yeah, then they go away for a long
time till you're at the end of your

That's when they'll pop back into your
world just to make sure you're in a

nursing home so you're not burning
through their inheritance.

So you might want to watch your kids
while I go watch my kids.

Judith. Judith.

So how is Wyatt, by the way? Yep.

Good kid.

Pencils for sale.

Oh, thank you.

Are you there?

Yes, I'm positive.

You know why? Because I actually bought
this box of pencils for $1 .99. There

are 12 of them, which means the price
per pencil is under 20 cents compared to

your astronomical 75 cents. For God's
sake, just buy a pencil.

Miss Walsh, please.

Ricky and I are just talking about
business, right?

Talking about the concept of supply and
demand, which means your pencils are

only worth what people are willing to
pay for them.

Stop haggling. Ah, that brings us to the
next lesson.

You have to listen to your customers,
Ricky, and adapt to their needs. You

my advice, you want your pencil business
to grow, you're going to have to slash

your prices.

Your mama slashed her prices.

Did you put her up to that?

No, I'm just a fan.

Nisha, Nisha, Nisha, come here for a
second.

Yeah. Hi.

Hi. How is your day?

So great. Oh, my God.

So amazing.

Isn't life just fantastic, you guys?

Okay, give it a rest, princess.

You know, Miss Polly Positivity over
here, am I right? I mean, welcome to the

new void filler.

What, what?

What? Yeah, it can't all be sunshine and
rainbows, Misha.

Welcome to... Reality.

Good stuff, Bobby. I guess ever since my
dad left my mom for my aunt's stepmom,

I've been trying to keep the darkness at
bay.

Oh, I am so, I'm so sorry.

Thank you, Bobby.

You have opened my eyes to how
irritating this silly optimism can be.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

The only irritating thing here is
Bobby's grating voice.

Oh, do you mean that?

Yeah, she's like a duck in labor.

Oh, come on, how would you even know?

I don't sound like that.

Oh, uh, Miss Wilkes.

Look, I just want to apologize for the
things I said. I definitely crossed the

line. That's an understatement.

Well, you just got under my skin by
showing up at the school like that.

uh, I just want to call truce, okay? I
want to just put the past behind us,

okay? Do what's best for little Zach
right here.

Get your hand off my child.

What? Inappropriate touching is
forbidden.

Lucky, baby, does it hurt?

Oh, yeah. It hurts so much, Mommy.

You've got to be kidding me right now.

You used excessive force with a student.
Once that accusation reaches your

record, you'll never find another job
teaching again.

I'm going to go have a little chat with
Principal Mason right now.

Well, she left for the day already, so
there's no point, so...

That's fine, because she'll be hearing
about this first thing tomorrow morning.

She's not going to believe you. No?

Well, two against one.

Whoa.

Looks like you really angered the beast.

She's going to tell Miss Mason I
assaulted her kid.

Oh, my Lord.

That's bad, Jerry.

Molesting a kid, that'll go on your
permanent record forever.

Assaulting, not molesting. Oh.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Like, regular assault.
Sorry, my mind is distracted. Sexual

assault for some reason. I'm going to
fix this.

There's no way I'm going to get one of
those.

Okay.

Where's my box of pencils?

I don't know where your pencils are. You
don't know?

Pencils for sale.

Ah, impeccable timing.

Another valuable life skill.

Turns out I am going to have to buy a
pencil after all.

Very funny.

Give me the pencils back.

How much are they worth to you?

They're worth what I paid for them
before they mysteriously vanished from

desk.

Robert, are you accusing Ricky of
something?

Hmm.

Fine. How much are they, 75 cents?

Five dollars each.

Five bucks? The entire box costs $1 .99.
And you can have them back for seven

dollars each.

Seven bucks? You just said five. And now
it's eight.

Hey, Trudy. Keep talking, Blondie. Mom
wants a PS4.

Just talk it through.

Stay cool. Don't get angry.

It's woke!

Zach, let's get in the house.

Mr. Duncan?

Are you waiting for me outside my house?
Look, I'm sorry to bother you. I really

think we should just talk this through.
First, I'm going to tell you why this is

completely unexpected. Mr. Duncan!

Oh, my...

Oh, you know, another day, another
dollar.

You're so quippy.

Looking tight, Bobby.

Looks like someone's out of the void.

Is that right?

Yeah, I don't know how I did it, but
honestly, I don't care as long as people

are not making fun of me anymore. Yeah,
they're still making fun of you.

What? Now they're just doing it behind
your back.

Why? Well, before it was just playful
jokes, but now it's much, much worse.

Awful stuff. Stuff they don't even want
to see to your face.

Your social status has gone.

What's worse than being the staff
punching bag?

Colostomy bag.

And there's no coming back from that,
Bobby.

Hey, Miss Galka, nice tracksuit.

Thank you, girls.

Why is that funny?

Those children are like little demons.

Dark days ahead, Bobby.

Dark days ahead.

Hey, how'd it go with you at work last
night? Oh, boy.

Oh, boy.

I went to her house last night to talk
to her.

Right? To clear this air.

And out of nowhere, as she sees me, a
van comes and smacks her. A van?

Yeah.

I think she's dead. You killed her.

What are you talking about?

How many enemies does this woman have?

We can do it. You can do it. Keep it up.
We don't want to be late.

The hell is she walking?

She's bionic. Keep going. Mommy's right
behind you.

I'm going to have to dip her in lava to
kill her.

Okay. Ah, Miss Wilkes.

Run, Zachary.

Run.

Mr. Duncan, I'd like to apologize to you
for Zachary's behavior as well as my

own. What? Your message was received
loud and clear.

I will not be covering for Zachary any
longer.

My message?

He has his weaknesses and I have mine.

But we won't be burdening you with them
any longer.

Just happy to be alive.

Oh, just please call off your henchmen.

I don't want any trouble.

It's good, right, if she thinks?

I think so.

Parents will talk. We won't have any
more parents giving up on our time.

Nothing wrong with that kind of
reputation.

We were in this school. We were in this
school.

I can't believe they even let these
helicopter parents on the school ground

during the day when we're trying to
work.

Disgusting. I mean, my mom was a tad
overprotective, but there's a line. My

was the best. Look at me, I turned out
fine, well -balanced.

Yeah, yeah, you turned out great.

Yeah, smell that?

What's that? Smell that? Fire?

Maybe the school's on fire. We'll get
off early today.

Oh, that'd be cool.

You know what it is? It's probably some
overprotective parent calling the

National Guard because their kid touched
them.

That would not surprise me. Gluten these
days.

Watch out for gluten.

Gluten, gluten, gluten.

Guys. Hey, what are you doing here?

When you're on duty, you have to watch
the kids.

We are watching the kids.

Kids got a helmet on.