Original subtitles

Good morning, students.

Here are your daily announcements.

Could whoever stole Mr. Clark's 84 Tercel please return it? No questions

And also, it seems someone unplugged the metal detector again. So let's all keep

an extra eye out this morning.

Thank you. Can I get everybody's attention?

Hello! Can we look up?

Can we settle?

Don't make me do it.

Don't mess around, okay?

Because I have lots of little tricks to quiet you down like that.

We have our seats, please. Gentlemen, please sit. Thank you.

Sir, could you grab a seat, please?

This is my seat.

That is your... On the stairs.

Welcome back.

I hope you had a great summer.

I will be your new... Hello?

Okay.

And you're pregnant, too. Wow.

I will be your new teacher, Mr.

D. What does the D stand for? Dick?

Oh, good. Yeah. That's funny. The D would only stand for Dick if my name was

Richard. And my name is not Richard. It is Jerry. So, no Dick here.

Okay. Why don't we take attendance?

See if we can get off on a better foot. Learn each other's names.

Is La here.

La. La.

L -A.

And then there's a line.

And another A. La.

La -dasha, guy.

I'm sorry?

La -dasha. My name is La -dasha like it says, guy.

Ah, playing a joke on me.

Are you even a real teacher, guy?

Yes, I am a real teacher. Can we lose the guy thing, please?

The only guy we have to lose is you, guy.

I think we need to lose La -dasha.

So maybe you can La -dasha to the office La -dasha.

There's a good way to start your school year.

Spit your gum out, too, please. We do not chew gum in class.

Awesome. No, you're not, dude. Don't lie.

I'm awesome. I'm driving around in my mom's ride. I'm awesome. A quarter of my

life gone by.

Aloha, Trudels. What's that?

Can't hear you over that shirt.

Ah, glad you noticed. Thank you. It came with the new me.

Apparently old Robert wasn't good enough to be principal around here, so I

thought to myself, because who else would you think to?

Why not show people the real me?

Fun Robert.

Looks a lot like the old Robert in a stupid shirt.

Ouch. Old Robert would have been devastated by that comment, but new Fun

is going to let his backbone fly.

What the clam?

Oh, primary kids this year. Right. Good idea, Lisa. More work for me. More

obnoxious parents to deal with.

Not yours, dear. I'm sure they're delightful.

Would you like to meet Robert the Robot?

That is me.

Here.

I'll grow on them.

I just need to expose...

John Robert for the children.

Good idea.

Genius.

Morning, ladies. Don't touch me, Curve.

I never touched you. I saw what you were thinking.

I wasn't thinking anything.

Hey, you hitting on my girl?

No, I just said good morning to your girl.

Oh, I see. So you've just been kind of freaky. No, it's just a gesture that

people say to be nice.

No, we'll try it again and see what happens.

Shut up. I heard you mumbling. There's no possible way you heard what I just

said. Yeah, I did, because I got 20 -20 hearing.

Great catch.

I know.

Come on.

We have little kids here now.

Too much.

Fifty shades of paisley.

Hey, Ted.

Hello, Trudy.

What are you doing here, Ted?

Oh, I'm just waiting to drive Emma home. Oh, is she leaving early?

No, same time as usual.

Oh, like in seven hours.

Seems crazy to go all the way home just to come back again.

Crazy. What's the Wi -Fi password?

Get a life.

Clever. I like that.

Get a life.

That's a good one.

So do you have a laptop?

No. Just, uh, I like learning passwords while I eat chips.

Mmm. Mmm.

Mmm.

Come get some.

What is that?

Days until early retirement.

Oh. Freedom.

I don't even know.

Whoa.

Whoa, what is that? Just a little project a few of us are working on.

Hey, anybody come at you yet?

What do you mean? You know, anyone bothering you?

Couple kids that were kind of getting in my face a little, but I can handle

myself here.

I hear you.

Hey, if you need a friend. Well, thank you. That's very kind of you.

I could be a friend to you.

I don't think we're going to be friends.

Hard to get.

Whoa. Hello?

Just stick it in.

Oh, my gosh.

That's what she said.

Okay, Robert?

Yeah, just great. And I am loving what I am seeing. What is this, a plant? It

is. 30 % cotton, 30 % polyester, 100 % fun.

That's what the guy at the store said when I bought it.

Robert,

can we just talk about this business?

Seriously, Robert, it can't be easy working under Lisa. Why can't it?

I love Lisa.

Because it wasn't the news I expected?

Huh? Because I'm not principal?

I'm just the same old vice principal?

Maybe so.

But? I went home, ate some Gouda, and I thought about things for a few weeks,

and I realized this.

Lisa's on her own journey, and I'm on mine, because in this lifetime, you have

to let love live.

Let love live.

That's what I'm doing.

That's what I suggest you do, too.

That man is not right in the head.

What do you think the, uh, bird thing meant?

Hi, Lou.

Look over here.

She can't hear me.

Mr. D.

Stephan. Oh, Steph, I miss you, buddy.

I miss your silly questions.

I'm getting so much older.

There's Sheila.

I'm so sorry you're graduating this year.

I'm not going to be here.

It's a lie, Jim.

There's Alex.

Never cared much for you, Alex.

We've talked about this. Move along.

I told you, officer.

I used to teach here.

These kids email me all the time. Say, come back and visit, sir. We miss you.

You're in touch with these kids online?

Email. I talked... Email's not online.

Email's a way of communicating.

Can you send an email without using the Internet?

Then it's online.

Do you have kids?

Yes, sir. Two girls. Two girls. So you give me their email, and I'll email

and you can read what I email. You know what? Just get out of here.

How am I doing?

I'll tell you how I'm doing.

I'm not doing great. I didn't ask.

These kids are delinquent at this school. I don't care. They make Xavier

students look like angels. I can't do this much longer.

Hey, you think Jimmy would get me a job at Barrow's? Yeah, I spoke to him. He

hates you.

I think I hate him. Tell him.

I'm going to quit this job.

I think I'm done.

Safety first, right?

Actually, rent first.

So don't quit your job until you have another one lined up. Like, preferably a

day job.

Why does it have to be a day job?

That's how this works, man.

You work days, I work nights.

We never see each other. Well, I thought it worked because we were best friends

in the whole wide world.

No, Jerry.

Minimal interaction.

Ah!

You got me there.

Pick up on printer one.

On it.

Boom. Thank you.

Good morning, Xavier Academy. How can I help you?

I'm going to get some coffee. Want anything?

And your son's first name, please?

Banana milkshake.

Where the hell do you think I'm going to the staff room?

Any flavors fine. Just real busy right now.

Okay, let me just look up his file.

There you are, Robert. We've been looking for you.

What you doing?

Just weaving a dream catcher.

That is a nice dream.

Yeah, maybe the nicest I've ever seen.

It's big.

Big dream, right?

He brought you some cookies and some relaxing tea.

You did.

Yeah. Didn't have to do that.

Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to come to yoga with me tonight. I mean, I

know your schedule is probably crazy.

Busy. That's what I meant to say. It was busy.

Insanely busy.

Simon. Thank you so much for the cookies and the tea and the yoga.

I guess that's it. But thank you. Anytime, Robert. Like, anytime.

You know, my Uncle Jack had a breakdown.

Oh, yeah? He slit his own throat from ear to ear.

And he dragged it across.

He did?

Yeah, it looked like a big old bloody grin. No way.

It's nice to see him smile again, though.

You know, family, yeah?

Never stop smiling, Robert.

Okay. Oh, that's a nice blend, too. My gosh.

You and your shirt.

You must feel like the Belle of the Luau.

Hey. Jerry.

Jerry. Sorry, Miss Mason. I tried to stop him.

What are you doing here?

Sorry to barge in, but I just wanted to be 100 % sure that you knew that I'm

available to come back.

I got your text messages and your emails and phone calls. It still doesn't

change my position.

Please, Lisa, find me something.

You know the hiring's been done.

Do you have any idea what it's like right now for me teaching at a school?

That has full -time security? Try to see this as an opportunity, Jerry. You

know, when one door closes, a window opens. I wish a window would open at

school. But they can't. They have bars on them to protect the teachers from the

murderers, the drug dealers.

And my life's turned upside down. My relationship's pretty much ending.

You're in a relationship?

What? How soon we forget about Bill, my best friend.

Your former lover.

Yes, Jerry.

I remember Bill, okay.

I'm losing Bill.

I'm losing everything.

I'm going to have to quit this school that I'm at, which means I'm going to

no rent. He's going to kick me out.

Maybe you can live on your own, like an adult.

Okay, and then I'll cure famine since we're spitballing dream scenarios right

now. Okay, you know what, Jerry? This has been so delightful, but it's time to

go. I have a lot of work to do.

Where am I going?

You know where unemployed phys ed teachers end up? They become personal

trainers. Can you live with that?

Yeah, pretty sure I can.

Just need your signature.

Who's wearing a stupid shirt now, Trudy? You are. Really? I think there are

several teachers around the school that would beg to differ. Teachers that gave

me gifts.

Like this.

And like this.

And some rum balls.

Old Robert wouldn't have gotten any gifts.

No one thinks you're fun, Robert.

I think the balls in my mouth would tell a different story.

The story is that everyone thinks you're balls deep in insanity.

Watch that now.

They all think you're on the verge of a nervous breakdown, that you're going to

snap any second. And that's why they're being nice to you.

What,

Jerry? Can I come in? No.

All right, well, see that?

What?

Yeah. What, Jerry?

I got keyed today because that's what happens at Guantanamo High. Jerry, my

car's been keyed before, too. Call your insurance company.

It wasn't my car. It was my face.

It was my face he keyed with a key right there. That little scratch. Oh, that

little scratch. You just cut yourself shaving.

That's what it looks like on the outside.

Inside, who knows what's going on?

Probably cancer.

How did you even get in my building?

Oh, we teach that course. It's called breaking and entering. Grade 9 class.

I thought you'd help me. We started together at Xavier.

We taught for four years.

I thought you would really care, especially when you saw this.

Not even a dissection of my face means nothing to you. That's where I'll be

next, Lisa. I'll be in the lab for the grade 11s. I'll be what they're

dissecting. This is just the first cut.

And that's a lot of cats you have in there.

I can talk to my cats.

That's who I talk to.

Cappuccino?

Jerry?

I'll play your games, rich lady.

Hey, Jerry.

Can you drop by the school when you have a chance?

I need to talk to you. Thanks.

Hey, so you called?

That was quick.

Yeah, no, I was right up front. I was just kid -watching. What?

You called me, so... Okay.

I've been thinking about it. With the added primary grades, I want to have an

-house substitute.

Someone to come in every morning, check with Trudy, see which teachers are away

and cover wherever needed.

So if you're willing to be a sub... Done.

I'll take it. Oh, my God, the pain is over. What a relief.

Bill will be so happy, too.

You saved my life. Now, my demands, I hate to bring this up, but I'm going to

need senior phys ed.

Now. Agreed.

Too soon. Agreed.

Here is my course syllabus, Principal Mason.

Thanks, Nisha. Nisha, this is Jerry Duncan. Hello. Jerry, this is the

hired to take over all your classes.

Oh, you're Jerry Duncan.

It's me.

Yeah, you're practically a legend around here. Oh, okay. Thank you.

He really was something, that Jerry Duncan, one of a kind. That's what

everybody's been saying. Number one.

So, what else?

They also all said that you have the best VHS

collection and the whole thing. The classics.

Yeah.

That's it. I think that's it. Stop embarrassing yourself. I'm happy to

you because I kind of get that's where you're going.

Well, I'm excited and thank you and I'll see you tomorrow bright and early.

9 a .m. sharp.

We still start at 8 .30. Okay, well, then I'll be here at 8 .45.

8 .15.

The new me.

Mm -hmm.

Jerry? Yeah? Don't screw this up.

No.

We won't screw it up.

Oh.

Okay.

Hey, kid.

Ready to go?

Wish I could, but I am swamped.

You'll have to find your own ride home.

I'll drive you.

Okay.

Not in the workplace.

Uh -uh.

Thank you.

Don't forget to file those reports, eh, Ted?

Yes, ma 'am.

Breaking in a new guy.

Oh, I know what it's like to break in that guy.

Exhausting. In a good way.

I thought you were fired, sir.

Boy, you kids love your gossip.

I wasn't fired.

I was doing work at an inner -city school for troubled youth. For four

Yeah. You ever work with troubled youth? Four days is enough. It's all I could

give them.

So why are you a sub now, then? Oh, my gosh. I'm subbing so I could give a new

teacher mild classes so that she could have a job and get off the street.

It's called charity.

All right, Mr. McDonald has left some work on the board for you, so do it.

Good morning, students. Here are your daily announcements.

who parked their black BMW in the staff parking lot, please move it or it will

be towed. My bad.

Laurie?

Thinking of getting one of those. Finally, on behalf of Xavier Academy, I

like to welcome back Mr. Duncan.

Did you hear that?

Did not expect that.

What are we supposed to do with the quotes on the board? I don't know this

stuff. I don't teach this subject. This isn't my expertise.

Get to work.

Good to be back.

Thank you again.