Original subtitles

Shoot. Be late. Be late.

Open the door.

Very funny, guys.

Lucy, open the door.

Mark your assignment, Lucy.

Oh, boy. Good for you, Lucy. You opened the door, Lucy.

Or that mark changes.

That's what I thought.

Good morning.

Oh, good morning, me. Too late. It's already at D.

I'm awesome.

No, you're not, dude. Don't lie. I'm awesome. I'm driving around in my mom's

ride. I'm awesome. A quarter of my life gone by.

I'm awesome.

Keep your visits short, please.

The coach gets tired easily.

Hey,

this is nice.

Oh, boys.

How are you feeling, coach?

Oh, you know, some good days, some bad.

Today's a good day.

Surprise.

Oh. There's camps.

Oh, way to go, boys.

This is wonderful.

Mr. Duncan, thanks for looking after my team.

A little more than looking after them, but you're welcome.

Here you go, Tony. Thanks,

Eddie. Coaching them. You couldn't have done it without a coach.

What was that?

They couldn't have done it without me. Isn't that nice?

I think they did do it without you.

All right, everyone. We're going to let Mr. Keenan get his rest now. Thank you

for visiting.

Mr. Duncan, could you hold back a minute, please? Sure. See you guys

Bye, Coach Keenan.

Hey. I don't want anything, all right? No lovey -dovey stuff here.

Don't get comfortable coaching my team. You're a placeholder, a warm body. I'll

be back next year, Duncan.

This has been a great year. As those of you who will be attending our athletic

awards ceremony tomorrow afternoon will attest, this year our sports teams

kicked some serious butt. Probably the coaching.

I have an announcement to make.

At the end of this year, I will be retiring.

What? No.

No!

No! It all seems very sudden, sir. Well, I've been considering it for some time.

I want you to know it has been a privilege and an honor to work with you

these years. But it's time for a change.

What kind of change?

Sky's the limit.

Personally, I would just like to say thank you for the chance to work with

You mean chances?

Well, thank you.

No.

Thank you for being my guiding light in choppy waters where my little boat would

have sunk in if it wasn't for you. Thank you all. And now, perhaps for the last

time, teach hard.

Take me with you.

Why? It's so hard.

I love you.

You tell me all the time, Robert.

Robert, could you stop by my office in a little bit? I need to talk to you about

next year.

You do.

You do?

I do.

Jerry.

Wow. Callahan, huh?

I did not see that coming. I like Callahan. Adventures he'll get up to.

on the deck. Wind surfing.

A little light housework.

Who knows?

I know.

Lucky guy, I guess. And you.

Athletic awards.

Coach of the year. You're a shoo -in. You think I got it? No.

You deserve it. I don't know.

Carter's coached, like, what, four teams, right? Sometimes people just go

volume of teams you coach. You coach the championship team.

Hey, Carter.

What did he coach?

Swimming, badminton, cross country. What is that?

Cross country? You don't play any sports, though. Yeah. That is true.

Of course, you can't spell mathlete without athlete.

And math. The emphasis is mostly on the math.

I'm going to go. Yeah.

James DeGrazia. Mm -hmm.

Oh, Jimmy D.

The J -Man.

It's your last year here? You're so open, you know.

What's next?

Well, I haven't really thought about it, so... And so you've come to see me,

your guidance counselor.

It is my job to think about it for you. I put your grades, your lack of

extracurricular activities and interests into a career suitability test.

So worth a say. The screen went blank.

Both times I tried.

Um, is that bad? No.

It's amazing.

You are pure potential.

Undefined. No limits.

It's going to let us explore what I think deep inside of me about you.

We start with the ball.

Uh -huh.

James DeGrazia.

James DeGrazia. Nice.

James... Good reflexes. Thank you.

Let me see your hands.

My hands?

Oh, yeah.

They are beautiful, dexterous hands.

My grandmother was a gypsy.

You were going to write your ticket with these hands as a dentist.

Dentist? Mm -hmm.

I don't know. Don't you need, like, really good grades?

No. That seems pretty unlikely for me.

Well, they said it was unlikely I'd walk. I swim five times a week.

It's not really walking.

It's harder.

Trust me.

Okay. I know I'm right about this.

Five years from now, you'll be deep in my mouth.

You wanted to see me? Yes, Robert, please come in.

I can come back. No, no, please come in. Have a seat. Okay, but Lisa's sitting

there. I need both of you here for this.

Okay.

Can I just say quickly, I am sick about the idea of you leaving.

But the prospect of filling your gaping hole does appeal to me.

Robert, the board has informed me that when I do leave, They would like Lisa to

become the principal.

Why would they like that?

They feel, with her Ph .D. and her principal courses, that she's the right

choice for the job, at least on an interim basis.

Um, what did you say? I said that I thought that you were also a good

Aw.

But that I would defer to the board and offer Miss Mason the job.

And what did you say?

I said yes.

As only Judas would.

Well, I guess you got your gaping hole filled just like you wanted then.

I know that you had other expectations.

Truthfully, I think you two will make a great team. You won't have to change

offices.

Oh, is it a principal joke?

Because I wouldn't get that.

Vice principal jokes and this joke?

Those are the kind of jokes I get.

Thank you.

Well, that went better than I thought it would.

I'll be okay.

So the vote for male athlete of the year is unanimous. It's going to go to

Terrence Gifford. So that's great. Who is on the basketball team?

Big T.

Yeah, it doesn't really matter. So then finally we've got the coach of the year

award. So for obvious reasons, we will be doing a secret ballot. So just write

name on the ballot, pull it in half, pop it in the bowl. Boom.

Simple, huh?

Bobby, perhaps it would be helpful if we all went around and just reiterated

what we did this year as coaches.

Yeah, that's not necessary. Let's just write names on the ballot. Okay?

No, we don't need to do that. Let's just write a name.

We were 27 -0, senior boys basketball.

Technically, you were 26 -0. I believe I coached the championship game. All

right, you were kicked out of the last game.

Forgot about that. One game doesn't win you a championship.

But it was the championship game.

Shut up. Okay, so there.

Like a name. Yep. Is there a way to tell if people vote for themselves?

Not really.

Stupid, right?

I voted for you.

Classic banter. Oh, my head's gonna explode.

Hey, Robert.

Just wanted to check in on you and make sure you're okay with everything.

No, Lisa, I would say I am not okay with everything.

Yeah. No one else is going to be okay with everything either. Why wouldn't

be? You're at mid now.

Nobody likes at mid.

Everyone likes Callahan.

He doesn't count. He's like a unicorn.

He's like a double rainbow.

Hey, Robert, I think you're being a little dramatic.

Let me tell you something.

I used to have friends, Lisa, back before I was in men. People liked me a

You don't think I can hear them laughing behind my back and sometimes to my

face?

I can hear it in my sleep.

It might be the pills.

Naive little Lisa.

I'll see you out there.

Game on.

Hey, Bob, you got all the votes for coach of the year? Yeah.

So what's the verdict? No, no, no, no. You're going to have to find out when

everybody else finds out at the awards ceremony, which you're going to go to,

right? Do you want me to go to it? Well, yeah. You're a coach. You should be

there. And what if I don't go?

That would be bad.

I understand.

Do you?

Yeah. Because I feel like I'm saying it pretty clearly, and it's not getting in.

Pretty good chance I will be there. Great. For sure.

Oh. Thank you, Bobby.

Why don't you just give it to me now?

Look at this. The Green Monster.

Who's won it?

Keenan, Keenan, Keenan, Carter, Keenan.

And under that tape, this year's winner, Mr.

D.

You think?

I shouldn't be telling you this because it's supposed to be a secret, but I

voted for you. Oh, I know you did. I voted for me, too.

Why wouldn't I? Bobby practically told me I've won it already anyway.

Really? What'd she say?

What she didn't say. I'm always trying to figure out what people aren't saying.

Can't crack that nut.

I just want to see my name on it. I want to pull this tape off. Just a peek. The

winner's under that tape.

Just a peek.

You see?

Jerry, Thompson.

Thompson. Hey, Malik.

Just looking at the trophies, Mr. Malik.

Jerry, do me a favor. Can you, uh... Jerry, through here.

Dust. There's a piece of tape stuck on that.

Like that?

No, but harder so that maybe... Dust it so the tape might... But there's no

dust.

You never saw me here.

Okay.

Hey.

It's a great sign.

Nobody told me we were throwing a party.

Did not know we needed your permission.

No, I wasn't saying that. Just so we're clear, I don't do coffee runs, I don't

do overtime, and I do do Jewish holidays often.

You're not Jewish, are you? I don't believe you can legally ask me that. So

be taking off Yom Kippur, Hanukkah, and...

That other one. Good for you.

Look, you guys, nothing's changed, okay? I'm still the same old Lisa.

Mazel tov.

Jimmy. Hey, Frank. My gut was wrong when I said that you should be a dentist.

Yeah, I figured.

Lawyer. Hmm?

You are clearly destined for legal greatness.

You need even better grades to get into law, and I just have no interest in it.

See, that is a great argument.

Your jib was cut for law. That doesn't make any sense.

Can't dispute that legal mind, Your Honor.

Hey, Lisa, I just thought I'd say congratulations on becoming the new

of the school. I think it's a great choice.

Thank you, Jerry.

Give me phys ed. What?

Jerry, I just got the job. I don't think I can just give you phys ed. Why not?

Yeah.

Why not, Lisa?

Well, there might be a scheduling issue.

Who do you think makes the schedule now?

You make the schedule now, and we're friends, so this should be a no

right? Everybody loves friends.

Come on. You call the shots now. Give him phys ed big time.

Fine.

I never felt he belonged in a classroom anyway.

Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Easy peasy. Phys ed next year.

Wow. Oh, my God.

You are a good person for doing this. Despite what they say.

What do they say?

Huh? That was him. I never said that.

So you should be careful.

Congratulations. Thank you.

I can't believe you gave him gym.

He's a menace in the gym.

You told me to. Doesn't matter. You don't take orders from me.

Nice going, principal.

And I'd like to thank my teammate Sharon for being the best defense partner that

anyone could hope for. It's field hockey, Andrea. Get off the stage. No

cares. I'll cherish this award.

brings us to the final award of this afternoon, and that is Coach of the

This award has a long and meaningful... Hey, let me sit on the outside so we can

get to the stage quicker, because you've never won, and never will probably

ever. The senior boys basketball team had another undefeated year, which led

them to yet another league championship.

Only one candidate for this award.

Ladies and gentlemen, your coach of the year, Coach Keenan.

Yeah!

Thank you, everyone.

I didn't expect to win an award this year.

No kidding.

This is truly a great honor.

I'd like to thank the boys of the team. Without their help, I wouldn't have been

able to earn this award.

Earn what? You didn't do anything.

Jerry, shut it. Duncan, is that you? What did you say?

I said you didn't do anything. This is for coach of this year. Coach of this

year. Not what you did in the past.

The other coaches obviously feel I deserve this award.

Come on. They gave it to you because they feel sorry for you. Jerry, that is

enough. Why didn't you just send him flowers?

Come on. You can't give him the award. He didn't do anything.

What are you saying, Duncan? Are you saying you should have won this?

Obviously, I'm the one that coached them.

Give me a break. You couldn't coach your way out of a wet paper bag.

At least I was conscious for their games.

I was having valve replacement surgery.

Oh, like there's such a thing. Well, while you were having your valves

or whatever, I was actually coaching them to a city championship.

You called that coaching?

The boys were begging me to come back.

I heard your wife wasn't even begging you to come back.

It's a joke. It's a joke. It's a joke.

Oh, where'd he go? The screen froze.

Get him back. I want to hear what he has to say. Get the IT guy. I want to

continue. Can you cut that, please?

Coach?

Oh, my God.

He's asleep.

Oh, God. No, no. Wake up.

Wake up. Wake up. I guess you'll get it next year, Jerry, for sure.

I'm terribly sorry for your loss. Thank you. Coaching Ed Xavier meant so much to

him.

Come here.

Coach killer.

Shut up, Drew.

Oh, well.

Never seen a dead body before.

I need to dress up. One day I will suffocate you in your sleep.

What? Nothing.

Jerry, what are you doing?

Quiet. This is the right thing to do. Excuse me. What's going on? Your dad

should have this.

And he should be coach of the year forever.

What? Jerry, stop.

No, it'll fit.

Trudy, don't. It's just a bit big.

Jerry, stop. I can get it in.

You know I can get it in.

Bobby, why'd you make this so big?

You're getting... Okay.

Cherry. No,

it's not going to work.

We want you to have it.

Good game, coach.

Congratulations.

Hey, I assume we're not going back to celebrate Callahan's retirement, right?

No, I don't think he really felt like it for obvious reasons. Yeah, good

decision.

Could I maybe sit down with you just to discuss a few phys ed matters for next

year? Jerry, you know that's not going to happen.

Okay, what about next week then? Jerry, you're not getting the phys ed job.

I wasn't going to do this here, but I'm not renewing your contract.

Jokes at a funeral?

I'm not joking, okay?

Hey, you're not serious right now.

Good luck, Jerry.

No way.

Jimmy, wait up.

Hey. How was the detention?

It was good.

Have you thought any more about your career?

You know what?

I actually just got promoted to manager at Barrels.

Show me your hands.

Again? Okay.

Ah, yes, yes.

Your management line does cross the dentist line. Wow.

These hands.

These strong hands.

We'll make schedules for servers who serve dentists and lawyers.

Damn, I'm good.

Real good.

The management.

Oh, no, no, no, Frank, that's the scar.

Where'd you kill the guy, sir?

I didn't kill anyone, Alex, okay? It was just bad luck for me.

Yeah, I'm with you.

So who's to replace you next year? I don't know.

Well, I hope they don't give us a teacher who spends the whole class

or a teacher who plans their lessons in advance, or someone who doesn't tell us

about their weekend.

How are we supposed to learn about the real world?

Thanks, Alex.

Hey. Yeah?

Take this to my car, will you?

What's your car?

It's a gray one.

Probably the only one out there.

This my bill?

Yeah.

Put it on my tab.

Can't, man. New manager, new rules.

Put it on their tab.

Corporate tab. They don't know. We do it all the time.

They already paid.

They spilled some coolers.

I can't. Jimmy Nicks spilled tab.

Jimmy.

Sir, you have to go. I get it. Kick a man when he's down.

Mr. D, get out.

You pay that, I win.

Well, you still lost your job. And you killed the guy.

I will be back.

That was rude.

I know. I feel bad for that.

Okay.

Hey, guys.

Hey, Gary. What's up? You want to come stop in and grab a drink?

Maybe just grab me a cooler.

It's going to have one.

Just going to have one.

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