Original subtitles

Man, I had a crazy dream yesterday.

So did I.

I felt terrible.

I think it was something I ate.

Oh, my. I do have the dreams crazy. Brown meat pudding.

Oh, that tasted funny.

You work through lunch again?

It's not work if you love what you're doing, Jimmy.

Regarding the tests you just wrote, I have already marked them.

You'll get those at the end of the class because I don't want you to be

distracted during my lesson.

Now, last health class, we talked about the bones of the hip, the ilium, the

ischium, the pubis. Today, we're going to talk about the bones of the hands,

carpals, the metacarpals, and the phalanges.

Question, Jimmy.

Okay. This is less of a question, more of a statement. Okay. I just wanted to

thank you.

for all of your hard work all year.

I didn't expect this.

Your unit on injury prevention made me realize that I want to be a phys ed

teacher just like you.

Way to go, Jimmy.

What do I always say, Lori?

Reach for the stars.

Reach for the stars, Jimmy. Atta boy.

Yes, David.

I hope you don't mind, Mr. D, but we've all requested that you be named Teacher

of the Year for the fourth year in a row.

No!

I'm giving it to someone else if I win.

Jimmy?

I've decided to stay for another year with you. I feel like I have so much

to learn.

No! I want you to graduate and get on with your life.

Get in here, silly!

Everybody get in here!

No! I just love this...

My kids, my class, you're like my children.

I'm awesome. No, you're not, dude. Don't lie. I'm awesome. I'm driving around in

my mom's ride. I'm awesome. A quarter of my life gone by.

I'm awesome.

Sorry to bother everybody. If I could just make a quick announcement. Hey,

talking.

Hey, Jerry.

Hey, Lisa.

I will be doing my fourth Ironman this year in support of juvenile deaf

dyslexia. If any of you could make a small donation, that would be greatly

appreciated. I'll give $500.

Wow. On behalf of dyslexic deaf children, Lisa.

I wish I could do what you do.

Be kind to yourself.

Yeah.

Good morning, everyone.

Settle down, please. Settle.

Hey, Vice Principal Galka speaking, everyone. Sit down. Thank you, Simon.

you, everybody, for sitting down, albeit slowly.

This is... You're late, Mr. Dwyer.

What do you mean, you people?

I don't think I said that. I think I probably would never.

Okay, anyway, this is an important day because I am introducing our fearless

leader, my hero, August... Okay, Bobby, thank you. I got this. You got it.

All right, quick announcement.

We've received our final reviews from the board. And unfortunately, the

are not good. Boo.

Mr. Callahan, your team was disqualified from the semifinals because you forgot

there was a game.

My bad.

Mr. Malik, you recently requested that your students remove their heads from

betwixt their buttocks.

Would you prefer they kept them up there?

You know what? That attitude is... Okay. I've got this. Yep.

People, this is unacceptable.

You all have to shape up.

Well, everyone except you, Duncan, obviously.

Impossible to improve upon perfection.

Thank you, Principal Walsh, but I believe we're all trying to do our best

through this crazy thing we call life. Shit's only crazy because the white man

made it crazy.

Perhaps Paul has a point, so on behalf of all white people, I would like to

apologize. Yep.

All the white people are sorry, Paul, okay?

You're good, Malik. I just want to take this opportunity.

No, we're good. Teach hard.

Okay.

What in the name of all that is holy?

Dude, do you know my photocopy code?

Are you serious?

It's 1955.

I tell you every day. Really?

If only there was an easy way to remember that. It's your birth year, you

jackass. Wow, I'm getting up there. Hey, Mike, do you know where the French

department is?

No.

Idiot. Hey, I stayed up all night drawing up plays for today's game.

Those are wonderful, Bill, but I already did that, you see? I just rustled that

up. See the pick and the man coming around?

Gee, that's why you're the head coach.

Don't. No, I have no dexterity with a paintbrush.

I got a couple of hockey tickets if you're interested, Jerry.

You know what, Emma? That is awesome. I will take Steve. Thank you.

Who's Steve?

Steve, our math teacher, who just found out he has arthritis.

He's down in the dumps. He loves this. He'll go unless you want to go with him.

I'm so ashamed. I assumed that I would take one of the tickets, but now I

realize how selfish that was. Thank you for teaching me.

Anywho, a bunch of us were talking, and we've all decided that we are totally

fine with a sister -wife situation.

Ladies, we've gone through this.

Please.

Bobby, you're like my boss.

For the record, I saw myself as the primary wife.

Hey, what are you doing later?

Feel like grabbing a manly scotch or something? I can't, Lisa.

I have to tutor a boy in the hospital at night.

I'm free.

No.

Come on, Jerry.

Some other time, then? No, he's very sick and...

He's in a coma, and I know he hears me because his eyes flutter like this, and

we talk through his eye communication.

Oh.

You're my hero, buddy.

Yeah. Throw another time, then.

Take it easy, Lisa. He said he's busy. You know what? You just need to back

okay? That's not necessary, girls. You back off.

Okay, ladies. Okay, you know what? You both actually need to back off.

This is so hot.

Hit her again. I gotta go. Teach.

Now look, you drove him away, you bitch. How you doing, man? Son of a bitch.

Robert,

how might I be of service?

Sorry to bother you.

Um, as I've mentioned before, I can't go... Shant.

I shant go until everyone has left the building. That's when I can lock up. All

the other teachers have been gone for hours, so if you wouldn't mind...

I wasn't clear enough the first hundred times we've had this conversation.

My work necessitates this whiteboard, which is secured to

the wall.

Perhaps... You can take advantage of this time to make sure the school

is absolutely spotless.

Consider it a mop -portunity.

How do you do that with words?

Run along now.

Would you mind?

You made me, coach.

Raph, stop. Stop, Raph.

John.

Jerry. I filled up all the water bottles.

I'm so glad you're here, Bill.

Terrence, get in there.

What? What?

You heard me. Get in there. Let's see what you got.

Jerry, you crazy? We're down one.

Are you sure about this?

I've never been more sure about anything in my entire life.

Let's go. Get in there, T -man.

See what you got, buddy.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Without the wheelchair.

Hey, I don't condone this at all.

He's paralyzed here. That's not how it works.

I'm doing it. We're doing it.

Let's go, D -Man!

A miracle.

Let's go. Let's go.

Move it around. Move it around. Watch for that pick.

Watch for that pick.

Principal Walsh.

That was quite the performance, Duncan.

Oh, that? No, that kid always had it in him. He just needed someone to show him

he could do it.

Walk? Yeah, walk. That was really wonderful.

In fact, everything you do is really wonderful.

Well, thank you.

It's too wonderful.

What? You're making everybody else look bad.

Nobody can measure up to you. And you know what? The board's starting to take

notice. I'm only human. I'm just doing my thing.

You're superhuman. And if you continue on this way, I'm going to have to...

I'm going to have to fire the entire staff.

No. I need you to dial it back to subpar at best.

Wow. You want me to teach badly and never plan classes, always be late, take

months to hand things back?

Wonderful thinking again.

Thanks, Duncan.

I'll try.

If I was the French department, where would I be?

I love you.

I love you.

Okay. Jot, one of the greatest movies of all time. Roy Scheider, great actor.

Sir, did you show us that film to demonstrate the dangers of overfishing?

Well, that is one reason, but I also wanted to drill home the damaging

of man's encroachment on... That's a stupid question,

actually, David. Obviously, I had nothing planned today, so I just popped

movie, okay? Are you all right, sir? I'm fine.

Get out, Jimmy.

Yeah, get out of my class.

Well, sir, you never show us movies in class.

Well, that's changing now. I'm going to show a lot of movies, movies I like. And

you still haven't given our tests back.

And you might not get them for a month.

Get to work. I'm sick of you guys.

What are you doing? Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

So when do you guys teach?

We mostly just have coffee.

Oh,

hey, Mr. D.

Alex here is competing in the National Chess Championship.

That's great.

And everybody knows that nobody plays chess like you do.

I'd be so grateful, sir, if you would coach me before the tournament.

I'm sure Miss Mason can do it, Alex.

Oh, I can't do that.

I'm just a woman. I'm not good at games of strategy.

Well, I can't help you, Alex.

I can't help anyone. Now go. Get out of here.

Stop crying.

Jerry, what's the matter with you?

You want to talk about it? Maybe have a lie down?

No, I can't talk about it to anyone.

You get out of here, too. Go.

Terry. Ah,

Robert. Mr. Malick, I noticed you're leaving at a decent hour today. Just

to say thank you. How dare you hold me hostage to the light. Consider yourself

lucky that I did not smite you. What?

Enjoy unsoiling my classroom.

Wow.

the devil? That's right, Mr. Malick. I am the devil. And if it's a war you

it's a war you've got.

Bad dramatic, isn't it? You think so?

Don't forget, I own all the garbage at the school.

I know everyone's secret. I know that you speak with a fake British accent

because you're ashamed of being Australian.

Crikey. Wouldn't you, by?

You think Miss Walsh runs the school?

I run the school.

That's why you never mess with the janitor. What are you going to do

to me? What am I going to do?

I'm going to take this bleach and I'm going to go wash out the urinal.

Look,

Miss Walsh.

I don't know if I can do this anymore. I'm not being a very good teacher. I

hardly have my lesson plans done.

I'm showing a lot of movies lately. I hardly know the answers to some of the

kids' questions.

It's like you're sabotaging me. It's like you're trying to ruin my life.

Jimmy? Hey, sir.

Why would you do this to me? Because I can.

Well, look who's back.

Trudy, what are you doing there?

It's a little thing called work. You might want to give it a try sometime.

Ow!

Do that again, and by tomorrow morning, those will be hanging with these.

Okay.

Okay, Trudy.

Doctor's note, Duncan.

Robert.

Well, if I was healthy enough to go see the doctor, I would have just come to

school, right?

You know what I'm sick of, Duncan?

This malaise -faire attitude towards being sick.

There's the puns I love.

Everything's back to normal. This is normal.

Thank you.

Aha!

Excuse me.

Hey, Simon.

Hey. Hey. Yeah, um, have you seen the French department room?

Are you kidding me? The French department? They haven't had their own

like, 50 years.

Right.

It was real.

Here you are, you son of a bitch.

I thought I told you, never come to my work. When we got divorced, we both

agreed to the settlement.

I knew I should have killed you in your sleep while I still had the chance.

Nope. Just a dream.

My bad.

Ah, Mr. Malick. Good.

I've been looking for you everywhere to talk about the chewing gum under the

tables in the cafeteria.

Can I point something out?

Look at all the fingerprints on these windows. There's about a week's worth of

buildup on them.

I'll be in my office, but if anybody asks, I'm not.

So?

Lucky you were this time.

English spoken here.

But if you can do me a favor and remember when you're cleaning to do it

circular motion, that would be just great.

Bye.

Did you have the meatloaf here?

Yes, I did. I had three helpings of the meatloaf. The meatloaf caused those bad

dreams. I do suffer the meatloaf dream.

The meatloaf dream.

The meatloaf dream.

Man, it was brutal.

I will never eat the meatloaf here again.

No, I'm packing my own lunch from now on.

No, no, no, no, no.

What?

Meatloaf at the cafe.

My favorite.

Uh, Robert, I... Sweet

dreams. It's like biting into an angel's diaper.

awesome awesome awesome

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