Original subtitles

So let's take up the homework from last night, please.

Yes, Lori? Sir, I know you didn't assign question number four, but what is moral

relativism? Lori, I didn't assign it because... because everybody knows what

that is, so... I don't, sir.

Could somebody please tell Lori what moral rel... Fine,

Sheila, go ahead.

The script of moral relativism holds that some people disagree about what is

moral.

Okay. Metaethical moral relativism holds that nobody is objectively right or

wrong.

Nobody.

Got it? Easy.

Now, if we could stick to the questions that I signed, please.

And what is cultural relativism?

Who cares?

Sheila? Cultural relativism is a principle that was established as

anthropological research by Franz Boas.

You can't stump me, Laura.

I'm awesome. No, you're not, dude. Don't lie. I'm awesome. I'm driving around in

my mom's ride. I'm awesome. A quarter of my life gone by.

I'm awesome.

I will not do that.

Simon. You get back here, mister.

Hey.

Okay. We've been arguing a lot.

Well, maybe you and your mom need a little space from each other or

Well, I have my own room now. Oh. So I thought that would fix things, but it

didn't. She doesn't get it. Right. A guy my age doesn't want his mom hanging off

him all the time. I think it's Italian.

Maybe living together isn't such a great idea.

You might be right.

She's not respecting my space. No. She needs to be taught a lesson.

Okay. Well, I'm glad I could help.

Oh, she's picking me up after school.

That is going to be a long ride home.

Maybe take a bus this time.

Oh, no, she wouldn't like that. She says pedophiles ride the bus trolling for

boys like me, so she'll probably want to come get me.

Okay, I'm going to get going. Thanks, Bobby. Sure.

You've given me a lot to think about.

Okay, let's take up the homework from Chapter 4. We did that last class there.

We did? Maybe you should write stuff down.

I'm not in the mood for you today, Jimmy.

Get out.

I don't think you've ever actually written anything down, have you, sir?

You're hilarious, David.

You can get out, too.

No. You can't make me.

What? What?

You can't physically make us leave.

You can't. Jimmy, get out. Don't do it, Jimmy.

Jimmy?

Jimmy?

Uh... Jimmy.

Maybe I... I won't.

What now, sir?

Can we move these desks closer, please? I've said that before.

Pass me the garbage, Rudy.

Oh, just a second.

What is all this? Mail addressed to you.

Oh, no.

What is it?

Nothing. Nothing.

Who is this fine little piece of business?

It's happening again.

What? Many years ago, I was actor back home in my country.

You mean this is you?

Yes. Was big actor. Had a huge movie. I had to move away because I had no

private life.

Shut up.

No one here must know.

The women, it could ruin them.

Well, then I have to find this film.

Trudy, you must not watch.

I am intoxicating.

Hey. Hey.

I wonder if I could, uh...

Grab your advice on something.

You want my advice? I'm flattered.

You know, sometimes you're still so... I have a kid in my class who's been

insubordinate, and I know you're the pro at dealing with insubordination, so I

need to know what to do.

Well, yeah.

It's ODD.

It is odd, yes. No, Jerry, it's called oppositional defiant disorder.

What's that?

The kids who are particularly angry or irritable are considered ODD.

Sometimes I call it occasional dick disorder.

I just say it to myself, like on my inside up here.

And that's why they don't respect you. That is a symptom, yeah.

Okay, and what do you do?

I ignore it. You just ignore it. I just pretend I never heard it.

Hey, Miss Mason.

Nice hooker boots.

Good, Tim. How are you?

Did you hear what he said?

Well, I am so glad that I could help you out, Jerry.

He's got a point, you know.

Okay, I'll see you at lunch.

Drop by any time.

Hey, Bill. Can I come in?

Uh, shouldn't you be at school?

Yeah, I took a personal day to run away from home. Ugh, I feel so good today.

I run away from home.

I need to come in.

Yeah, I guess.

He's home, so I'm fine. You can go now.

Simon, please rethink this.

It's dangerous out here on the street.

Leave!

Just do your own thing. I don't want to get in the way.

All right, well, I don't really do much before work, which is in eight hours,

so... You won't even know I'm here.

I can put on pants.

Dad? Hey, son.

What are you doing here?

I was in the area, so I thought I'd stop by.

I've never seen where you work.

Must be nice to teach in a school like this, eh?

Country club teaching?

Most of the kids are pretty good, but I wish you'd told me you were coming so I

could have had some more time with you. Oh, you do?

Yeah, but I've got to go to class and teach kids like this.

Hey, what's going on, sir? Yeah, what's going on with you?

He's troubled, is he?

Yeah. A little bit. Mr. Duncan.

Who do we have here? A mature student?

Robert Cheely, our vice principal. This is my father, Francis Duncan.

Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

Scottish, right?

Only my favourite accent to do, and I've been working pretty hard at it. Will

you indulge me for a minute?

What? What did you say? Jerry, close your eyes and see if you can tell who's

speaking right now.

Please shut up, Robert.

Aye, calm down, you wee bugger. I'm just talking to your dad and... Is this guy

kidding me, Owen? Nope. No, no, no.

I would never cat.

I'm just relishing the chance to practice my exam.

OK. What brings you by the scale?

I just came by to pay a wee visit with my son.

Maybe I could see you teach, Jerry.

That's great how you do that. Just slip into Scottish.

I wish my dad could come see me at work.

Dead easy?

Almost. Florida.

You want to come to my class, really?

Yes, I'd love to.

What do you say, Jerry?

Bring him to your class. It'll be fun.

Yeah, yeah, I guess.

Oh, aye, great. Then let's all settle, then. Okay. Have fun.

It's not oatmeal.

What an idiot.

Yep.

Come on.

All right, before we begin today, special guest, I'd like to introduce you

to my father.

Hello, kids.

Hello.

My dad was a teacher in his day, so this is really exciting and cool for me to

have him watching me teach. Maybe he can teach the class and we can actually

learn something.

Get out, David.

Didn't we go through this? You can't make me leave.

Do you know what I mean?

What?

Anyone else?

Yeah, anyone else?

I thought not.

Can he do that?

No, he can't do that. Oh, God, no.

Carry on, son.

Thank you.

Dad. All right, open your books.

Best show ever.

I'm never allowed to watch stuff like this.

Hey, what if the price isn't right?

The thrill.

He bit the dollar. Smart.

No, I'm 90 % sure that fridge isn't worth $1.

No, it's because he thinks everyone overbid.

He thinks everyone overbid.

That rascal.

Man, pop, chips, and no parents?

This is a life.

Hey, you should take another personal day tomorrow. I never have anyone to

this with. Way ahead of you.

We'd go down to the zoo and watch the monkeys go nuts.

Pizza! Pizza!

Simon, if I could just have a... Want me to set the table?

I think we can just eat it right out of the box.

Awesome.

Now,

put the chips on the pizza.

No, we can.

We can. Oh, my gosh.

You watched it.

I breathed it.

This.

Don't make me. Come on.

Just a sliver. You don't want this.

I'm not sure I've ever wanted anything more.

You've been warned.

I have to go.

I have to replace Yuri, okay?

Thanks for your help, Dad.

I wish you'd do it again. I think I'm better to handle this on my own. If you

say so.

Yeah, you can't actually touch kids anymore.

Oh, that's a load of nonsense.

Well, that's the rule, Dad.

So you cannot use a strap.

It's gone.

Bad.

Come on. Put a cigarette out on them.

Dad, there's no smoking in the school.

Wow. So, but I got to get back to work. But thanks for coming in and great to

see you. All right, Jerry. But just remember, you have to manage the

somehow. They have to fear you. If you cannot touch them, scare them. Yeah, I

guess. But whatever it is you do, make sure there are no witnesses.

No witnesses.

Get the cops.

You think they're on us? You think our mission's been compromised?

Well, they're gone.

Okay. Game on!

Welcome back, David.

Hope you learned your lesson.

What lesson?

Daddy's not here to fight your battles.

I'm going to dismiss everyone early right now.

Yeah. Doesn't matter what time it is. I'm letting you go early. Do what you

want. See ya.

Nothing left to say, so shut the door on your way out. Last person, please, just

shut that door for me.

Easy day today. David, I'm just going to need you to stand back for a sec to

chat. No problem.

Don't want anyone else to see this, right?

This is crazy, man.

No one here now, just you and me.

Two adults in a room.

No cameras.

You don't have an audience now.

And I don't have witnesses.

I can say whatever I want.

I can say what I really feel.

Because you think this is going to happen every day, right? You're going to

in and be a smartass, and I'm just going to have to sit there.

You think that's the way it works?

Yeah? Yeah.

Well, that's not going to happen.

But I might not do something crazy, right?

See,

that's the real you.

No one's around.

Now, let's understand something.

If this continues, I will then again.

Can't say that.

Not allowed to say it.

When there's people around.

So don't mess with me.

Hey, David.

How's it going, buddy?

Mr. Duncan, David tells me that you got him alone and you threatened him.

And then, again, and then you growled.

Excuse me? What? I... I have no idea what you're talking about.

He said that, sir. I swear he did.

What?

What are you doing? What is... Why would I say any of that to a student to risk

losing my job? This is... What's going on here? Do you have a witness?

No, he doesn't. No, sir, but he planned that.

I saw he did this.

Sir, this is ludicrous.

Can I go? Because I have marking to do. I want to plan next month's lesson.

Like, hang on.

David, I'm going to have to side with Mr. Duncan on this. It just seems pretty

far -fetched to me. Thank you. What?

Are you kidding me?

No, he's not.

David, stop wasting everybody's time. Smarten up.

Sir, he's crazy. You have to believe me.

I think my parents should know about him.

All right.

We can do that.

Let's have your parents come in. I'll tell them about the five other teachers

who have complained about your insubordination.

Should we do that?

No, sir. I thought not.

Goodbye, David.

I tell you, it's like they got nothing to do but come in and cause problems,

waste your time.

Who are the other five teachers?

No other teachers.

Duncan, I know about the no witness trick.

What are you talking about?

You get to use that once.

One time. One more time?

Never again.

Oh, come on.

Worked. Look, he respects me now. He's afraid. Never again.

I'm busy, Malik.

But I've arrived.

And?

Don't tell me. I saw the sequel.

How do you have any fans?

That thing was a piece of... It never aired back home.

I make sure of that.

Well,

here's the thing, George Clooney. Some kid puked his body weight up on the

floor, so why don't you shimmy on up there and clean it up? Thank you.

No.

Such a shame.

Got chicken fingers and root beer for supper tonight.

So that's it? You guys just made up?

Yeah. I can't remember why we were fighting to begin with, to be honest.

Anyway, thanks for letting me hang. It was fun. It was.

You want to come again on Saturday? Oh, no. Mom and I go to the zoo on

Saturdays. Maybe you would like to come to the zoo too, Bill.

Yeah, Saturdays are busy for me.

But Sunday, watch football.

Prayer day?

Well, if you ever run away from home again, I'm here, so... Thanks. That's

to know.

Maybe we'll, uh, both run away.

Yeah, or maybe just Simon.

Or maybe just my mom. Look at this.

Gonna have to put you in the zoo, you old jungle cat.

See ya.

Hey, sir, are you ever going to hand back our assignments?

Okay, I'll have those tests for you next week, okay?

He said that two weeks ago. What a joke.

Excuse me? Drop it.

Trust me, just drop it. Thank you, David.

What? Say sorry, because if you don't, he promises he'll make every single day

here a living hell for you and take you out the... Can... can you do that?

I don't even know anymore, man.

Sorry, sir.

Apology accepted.

What was it like teaching in the 60s, Dad?

Let me tell you, it wasn't easy.

Drugs, rock and roll, Vietnam.

It was rough.

Not like today, Jerry.

How bad were the kids back then?

Just like yours, only ten times worse.

Good morning, Mr.

Duncan. Open your books.

Sir, I have a question about the homework.

What did I tell you about raising your hand before speaking?

If you want to speak, you must raise your hand. That's right.

Anyone got a light?

I cannot imagine Jimmy and David ten times worse.

Oh, yes.

I feel so sorry for teachers back then.

It was terrible.

That's right!

Good for you, Dad.

Thanks, son. Man, I never knew how hard you had it. Oh, yeah.

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