Original subtitles

Lady Godiva was a freedom rider.

She didn't care if the whole world looked.

Joan of Arc was the lord to guide her. She was a sister who really could.

Isadora was the first bra burner. Ain't you glad she showed up?

Oh, yeah.

When the country was falling apart, Betsy Ross got it all sewed up.

And then there's Maude. And then there's Maude. And then there's Maude. And then

there's Maude. And then there's Maude. And then there's Maude.

That'll compromise and enterprise and anything but tranquilize. No, no, Maude.

Here, Arthur, you hungry?

Eat.

Walter, do you call this lunch?

Well, it's all the food I could find in a refrigerator.

This isn't food. It's an aluminum mine.

You think it's safe to eat?

I don't even think it's safe to look at.

Hi, Monty. Maude, would you look at all this stuff I got out of the

refrigerator? Is it food or what?

Let's see. This is some spinach pie left over from Anna Pascoe's wedding a few

weeks ago.

This is breaded shrimp from the League of Women Voters annual fish fry last

month.

This is blueberry grunt left over from Vivian's brunch last Sunday.

Why do you even bother to bring any of this stuff home?

I'll tell you why I bring it home, Walter, because it is a sin to let

good food go to waste.

I'll be with you in a second. Listen, Walter, when Vivian and I are shopping

New York today, the employment agency may call about a new housekeeper. But

can never replace Mrs.

Naugatuck, can you, Ma? Well, I certainly have not had any luck so far.

listen, Walter, if the agency calls, tell them that any housekeeper they send

over for an interview has to be black.

Why do housekeepers have to be black? Is that a new law?

No, Vivian, I want my new housekeeper to be black.

I made my decision after I saw Roots.

You know, that really made a tremendous impression on me, Viv. Until that time,

I had no idea to the extent that black people have been abused and mistreated.

And so, in my own small way, I want to do something to help make up for that.

we're letting one of them clean our house.

Walter, you're missing the whole point. Well, what is the point, Maude? Why do

you have to have a black woman?

Because I can learn from a black woman the way I learned from Florida. Remember

when she worked for us? Oh, she had such pride in her heritage.

She had spunk. She stood up to me. She didn't take any guff from me, and I

admire that.

Gee, I wish I was black.

It wouldn't hurt.

Anyway, I want that same kind of housekeeper again, but for some reason

other, the agency says they're having a lot of difficulty finding any black

domestics. Well, since roots, they're probably all at home writing books.

Arthur, I certainly wouldn't expect you to understand. Come on, Viv, we don't

want to miss the bus to New York. Now, you two be careful.

That place is crawling with psychos who think nothing of beating you up and

taking all your money.

Oh, come on now, Arthur. I have always found the salespeople at Bloomingdale's

extremely polite.

I'm not talking about Bloomingdale's, especially.

I mean New York. It's not safe. Arthur, don't worry. Look, I have that rape

whistle you bought me.

That's a wonderful thing to have, but don't blow it in New York. The police

can't be trusted either.

Look, Arthur, I'm going to throw this stuff out and then we can watch the

Oh, hold it.

Not the blueberries.

I can never get enough of Vivian's grunt.

Oh, God!

God!

Oh,

I don't like this.

Arthur says subways aren't safe.

Come on now, Vivian. You know this is the quickest way to the bus terminal.

Besides, Vivian, it isn't crime that makes New York seem so dangerous.

It's fear.

Believe me, you know, if people just took the time to smile and say a

hello, well, it would be a much safer place.

Really, Maude?

Here, I'll show you what I mean.

Hello.

You see, Viv, a cheerful hello, a

nice, friendly smile makes all the difference in the world.

That's amazing.

I guess I'm just going to have to learn to be more friendly on the subway.

As we begin our journey, could I interest you ladies in a little

Oh, no, none for me, thanks. Martin? No.

You would let a man drink alone?

Reprehensible.

Vivian, I forgot.

You should never ride the subway during cocktail hour.

Hey! You picked that up! Vivian.

I don't want it.

Do you do that at home? Vivian!

As a matter of fact, madam, I do.

Hey! Hey!

Vivian, Vivian, will you please sit down? He tipped me off. Vivian, forget

it.

Hello.

Hello, lady.

I was wondering if you had an extra 50 cents.

What? Don't give it to her. It might be a trick.

Oh, come on, Vivian. How could it be a trick?

Of course I'll give her the money, but just in case, keep your whistle out.

Yes, I can spare 50 cents.

Good. Because if these packages are going to be sitting while I'm standing,

think you should buy them a seat.

Oh, I'm terribly sorry.

I really am so sorry.

Sometimes I'm very thoughtless. Right, Viv?

My name is Maude Findlay. I sell real estate.

This is my friend Vivian Harmon.

And what is she, a lion tamer?

You have a

lovely accent. I'll bet you're from the West Indies.

Yes. Why do you want to know?

I'm from Tuckahoe.

I've always been interested in the West Indies. As a matter of fact, my very

favorite singer is Harry Belafonte.

Who?

Harry Belafonte. You know.

Dale. Dale.

Oh, him.

He's all right.

But he doesn't sing as sweet as Andy Williams.

Andy Williams?

Excuse me, miss, but I would think that you would take more pride in your own

traditions.

Forget Andy Williams. I mean, you come from the islands where they have such

beautiful native music.

People down there make up calypso songs just walking down the street.

I can make up calypso songs?

Of course you can.

Why don't you make one up right now? Oh, yeah, I'll do that.

I can't get over it, Walter. I just can't get over it. Lord, you'll have a

drink. Arthur and Viv will be over. We'll have a nice evening and you'll

all about it. But, Walter, it was all so calculated.

She asked me for 50 cents and then when I opened my purse, she saw where my

wallet was. Then, like a fool, I let her sit down next to me. Now, just calm

down, Walter.

It's Arthur and Viv. I'll get it. And she knew exactly how to take my mind off

my purse.

She put down Harry Belafonte.

And you know how crazy that makes me.

Yes? Finlay residence?

Walter, that's the woman. That's the woman who stole my wallet this

Yeah, woman got a loose pedal on her beach.

I want $18 for me dress.

Maybe Aria Balafonte like his chest showing, but I don't.

Here you come here. Walter, call the police.

$18.

Walter, the phone.

You must take me for a complete fool.

I mean, first you steal my wallet, and then you come here asking for money. I

don't know nothing about no wallet. I want $18.

If you had asked me for the money this afternoon, I would have given it to you.

But no, you had to steal my wallet.

Well, I want you to know something.

I have always been a friend to the black people.

But there are a lot of whites who are not the enlightened, caring human beings

that I am. And when you stole that wallet...

You just reinforce their senseless, stupid prejudices.

And that saddens me.

You have a great deal to make up for, young lady. Maud.

Yes, Walter. That was Bloomingdale. You left your wallet in the lingerie

department.

Big mouth woman on a

subway train.

I don't know what to say.

How did you find me?

Well, you say your name was Maude Finley and you were from Tuckaway.

So I just looked in the yellow pages under Big Maude Woman.

Thank you. I deserved that.

Look, Mom, all I want is $18 for a new dress. Of course. Of course, Walter, she

wants $18. I'll get my wallet.

Why don't you sit down?

This is...

Oh, so terribly awkward for me, Miss... Excuse me, I don't even know your name.

Victoria Butterfield.

Victoria Butterfield. That's always been my favorite name.

Look, Victoria, I want you to know that I did not accuse you because you're...

Believe me, I have always been a crusader for racial justice, from the

beginning.

You know, back in the 60s, a group of concerned white people went down to

Alabama, to march for racial equality.

Oh, Victoria, you have no idea what it was like.

Sheriffs with mace and attack dogs, angry mob throwing rock.

Every white person down there was in dire physical danger.

And so?

I donated $25 to that march.

Andy Williams gave $100.

Oh, it's obvious I'm just not getting through to you.

Look, lady, I didn't come here for no sky lock, and I just want me money,

all. You're not interested in the black problem at all, are you? The only color

problem I got is that this black person can't get the green money from the white

lady.

Oh, did you have the $18? All I got is a 20.

Do you have change?

Walter.

Walter, this is Victoria Butterfield.

Victoria, this is my husband, Walter Findlay. How do you do, Victoria? Why

the introductions? Is this a subway?

I'm afraid that Victoria isn't interested in all I've done for her

just doesn't care about those things.

That's right. I'm not interested.

Daylight come, anyone go home.

home, but let me tell you something. I need a housekeeper, and I am not going

let you discourage me from hiring a black woman, because I am interested in

cause of social justice.

You need a housekeeper? Yes.

I could be your housekeeper.

I need someone with a lot of experience. I've got plenty of experience.

Well, uh, I mean, you'd have to have references. I've got excellent

Well... Ward, why not?

You know perfectly well why not, Walter.

I mean, we have all those people coming over from the agents. No, we don't. The

agency called. They're out of blacks.

Ever since Roots.

But they're running a special on Filipinos.

I come from a small island of St. Norman just three months ago to keep house for

a nice family.

But all of a sudden they moved to Europe.

And now I don't have no job. I don't have no money.

And I'm not a dean.

Me closing what it used to be either.

Come on, Maude. Give her a break.

Oh.

All right, all right, all right. I'll tell you what we'll do. Let's try it out

for the seasoning, okay?

I'm having a few neighbors over for cocktails.

I have some hors d 'oeuvre heating in the oven. Why don't you serve them, and

then we'll see how it turns out. Oh, thank you, Mom, thank you. Hey, it's

of late. Maybe she can spend the night in Mrs. Naugatuck's old room.

Walter, I don't think that would be a good idea.

Mrs. Naugatuck's room is so messy.

Oh, that's all right, Mom. I've cleaned it up good. You'll see, Mom.

Everything's going to be hunky -dory.

Maude, I think she's going to be fine. Why are you so down on her? Why? Why?

You mean you don't see it, Walter? Are you so slow, so dim -witted, so

unperceptive that I have to explain it to you?

Yes.

This woman has absolutely no pride. No pride!

I tried to have her arrested today. I tore her dress. She should be furious

me. But the moment the job was mentioned, she began all that, Oh, yes,

I do good work, Mom. Everything gonna be hunky -dory, Mom.

Now, if you had a job to offer, she wanted it. What'd you expect?

Walter, it would be a disgrace to hire a black woman who had absolutely no

racial pride.

How can you say she doesn't have any racial pride? Because I know she

She told me. She told... What'd she say? She likes Andy Williams. What more do

you want?

Oh, hello, Arthur. Oh, hello, Maude, you poor thing.

Vivian has been telling me what happened on the subway today.

It is shocking.

Well, it's a thing of the past.

That's not the way I see it, Maude. Can I get you guys a drink?

A little scotch would be nice.

I'll just have my usual, please, Walter.

Oh, Vivian, I'm sorry.

I'm out of creme de coco and I don't have any fresh papayas.

Well, then, whatever.

Now, Maude, did you call the police? No, no. There's no need to call the police.

There most certainly is. Believe me, Maude, in cases of this kind, a little

police brutality never hurt anyone.

Martha, you just don't understand.

You certainly don't have to worry about giving the police a description, Maude,

because I remember every detail about that woman.

Thank you.

I bet if I lived to be a hundred, I will never forget that woman's face.

That face is emblazoned in my memory forever.

Are these cheese?

I mean, I would know that woman anywhere.

Vivian, this is Victoria Butterfield, the woman on the subway this afternoon.

Hello.

I didn't recognize you.

Well, that's American justice for you. She's out on parole already.

Arthur, Victoria didn't even touch my wallet. Now, what in the world is she

doing here?

Oh, she's going to be our new maid.

Walter, it is not maid. It is housekeeper.

Okay, she's going to be our new housekeeper. No, she isn't. What's the

Mom? You don't like the hors d 'oeuvre?

No, it has nothing to do with that. No, they're really very good. A little

cheese, a little sausage. They're excellent.

A nice delicate pastry dough. They're the best hors d 'oeuvre I've ever

Oh, thank you, Mom.

Wait a minute. What am I saying? I made them myself.

Mrs. Finley, why don't you want me to be your maid?

All right, I'd better lay my cards on the table. Would you excuse me? I'd like

to speak to Victoria. Oh, sure. Why don't you guys come out to the kitchen

me? I'll teach you this darling song I learned today. It's called Big Mouth

Woman on Subway.

Sit down, Victoria.

All right, Mom, what's the problem?

Victoria, I'm going to ask you a question.

Very personal, but it's very important and a great deal depends on what your

answer is.

Did you watch Roots?

Yes, Mom.

Did you like it?

I like Chuck Connors.

You see, that's the problem. All you care about is Chuck Connors and Andy

Williams. And Wayne Newton.

Wayne Newton!

No, because you don't care about where you come from.

And you do?

Of course.

So where you come from, eh?

Well, uh... My father's father came from England, but actually he was

part Scottish.

And my grandmother came from France, but it was really Alsace -Lorraine, so she

may have been German.

And, uh...

My mother's father was mostly Dutch, and her mother came from either Romania or

Hungary. Oh, you poor white lady.

What do you mean?

You don't have any roots.

You see, that's it. That is it. That is the problem. All you want to do is make

jokes. This is why you cannot work for me. You have no pride whatsoever in

you come from. You have no pride about being black.

I have no pride?

I love the island of St. Norman.

The water here is no place as blue as the water there.

No trees here carry a lovely mango like the trees there.

All that is here that isn't there is money, and I need that to send to my

family. But I don't need it so bad that I have to put up with you.

There have been no slaves on St. Norman since 1684.

So keep your damn job, Mrs. Roots.

Wait a minute, Victoria. And don't tell me about pride.

I've been black a lot longer than you.

Victoria, you are, you are marvelous. I insist that you be my housekeeper. What

you got in your head, a sparrow flying around?

Don't you see?

Things would be different now. We would be on an equal footing. I don't think

so. Oh, Victoria, give it a chance. I'd love to have you here. And I'd love to

have you here. And I certainly don't mind.

Well, maybe.

But I don't want to spend an indeterminate period of time in domestic

An indeterminate period? Walter, did you hear that? She speaks English better

than you do.

Wow, look at that.

and I want to learn a career.

And I need plenty of time off for that. Oh, Victoria, you can have as much time

off as you need. And I don't like the idea of spending a night in a messy

Oh, I'll clean it myself.

Also, I know what to clean and I clean it. I don't take no orders.

May I make an occasional suggestion?

We'll see.

Why don't I try it for a week, eh?

Oh, Victoria. Victoria, you're gonna love it here.

I hope so.

I'll go fix the odors now. You better get started cleaning the room. Right

And, Mrs. Finley. Yes.

I don't do windows.

Who does?

Yes. We gonna get along fine.

Honky -dory.

It looks like we got ourselves a house.

Walter, did you see how I brought out her pride? Walter, I have her right

I want her.

Come on now, why don't we go upstairs and clean her room?

Grab a little dustpan, bring a little broom. We make

her the bed and we sweep her the room.

Bring a little Lysol.