All language subtitles for maude_s05e07_the_election

Lady Godiva was a freedom rider.

She didn't care if the whole world
looked.

Joan of Arc was the lord to guide her.
She was a sister who really could.

Isadora was the first bra burner. Ain't
you glad she showed up?

Oh, yeah.

When the country was falling apart,
Betsy Ross got it all sewed up.

Hello? Oh, hello, Mrs. Dempsey.

Ah, you will need a ride to the polls
tomorrow.

Oh, well, certainly.

Although I thought that Mr.

Dempsey was going to drive you.

Oh, he's been arrested again.

I am sorry. But please, dear, when you
visit him, do tell him that I think he

just did a super job heading up the ex
-cons for Carter.

Bye -bye.

Bye, Mother.

Oh, hi, honey. Here, I have the list of
everyone who'll be needing rides

tomorrow. Oh, thanks. You're a doll.

Oh, you know, Carol, I just think you're
wonderful. I mean, the way you have

thrown yourself into this presidential
campaign.

Well, after all, I am your daughter.

You know what they say.

The acorn doesn't fall far from the
political nut.

Carol, you know you're getting to be
more like me all the time.

And someday we're both going to pay for
it.

I have to run upstairs and change.

Lee is taking me down to campaign
headquarters.

Lee Harrison?

You mean I finally get a chance to meet
Mr. Wonderful?

Oh, Mother. Honey, I've been dying to
meet him.

Come on, Mother. It's no big deal.

Now, look, Carol, you may be campaigning
for Jimmy Carter, but you have been

doing most of your caucusing with Lee
Harrison.

I hope he's not giving you a lot of
campaign promises.

Oh, no.

So far, he's come through on everything.

Honey, why don't you and Lee stay for
dinner?

Oh, we can't.

Tomorrow's election day. We've got a lot
of last -minute work to do.

We'll grab a bike downtown.

You know, it's a shame. Tomorrow is Mrs.

Naugatuck's birthday. First voting day.
And I know tonight she's going to be,

you know, full of questions on the
really important issues.

Mrs. Finlay, I have a question.

You see, of course, my dear. You sit
right down here.

And if I can't answer it, I'm sure Carol
can.

Very well.

Would you like Russian dressing on your
salad?

Why don't you take that one, Mother?

Green goddess.

Oh, Mrs.

Nogatuck, this is so exciting. Tomorrow
is election day.

You're going to be voting for the very
first time, participating in the

democratic process.

Hi, Marty.

Oh, hi, Arthur.

Well, Mrs. Nogatuck, I imagine your head
is spinning with questions tonight.

Oh, no, Mrs. Finlay has already answered
my question.

Wait a minute.

I demand equal time for the other side.

Very well, Arthur. You have 30 seconds
to say nice things about Russian

dressing.

What's there to say? They all dress
alike.

Mrs. Naugatuck, I brought over this
booklet to help you make up your mind at

polls. We put it together down at the
hospital.

It's called Concerned Surgeons for
President Ford.

Well, if any of them are brain surgeons,
they should be concerned.

Oh, really?

You should talk.

You're supporting a man with a phony
smile.

I have a dentist friend who tells me
that Carter wears a retainer at night.

Better a retainer than a corrective hat.

Listen, Marty, let's just stick to the
issues.

Mrs. Nogatuck, that booklet tells you
everything the President Ford has done.

If you want to know what Jimmy Carter's
done, read a label on a jar of Skippy

peanut butter.

Skippy peanut butter.

Arthur, I'm surprised you don't have a
joke about Fritz Mondale.

I do.

I like Mondale and the country goes on
the Fritz.

Goes on the Fritz.

Arthur.

Arthur, let's talk about the serious
problems in this country.

All right.

The first serious problem is your jokes.

And the second one is the economy, which
is also a joke.

It is not.

President Ford has done a fine job with
the economy.

As a matter of fact, I've had one of my
best years ever.

Mrs. Naugatuck, since Ford took office,
more people are working than ever. The

employment rate has gone up. Ah, but it
is also true that more people are not

working. The unemployment rate has also
gone up. How can more people be working

and not working at the same time?

Well, that's what makes America great,
Mrs. Naugatuck.

There's something for everyone.

Oh, you two are so definite about your
politics.

Now, I should like the opinion of
someone more reasonable like Mr. Finlay.

Actually, that's a good idea. Yes, you
know, water is very fair. Oh, very fair.

Yes, Mr.

Finlay is his own man.

Hello, everybody.

Hi there, Walter. I'm talking about you.
Oh, this whole election is crazy.

I just saw a Carter sticker on a Ford, a
Ford sticker on a Dodge, and a Dole

sticker on a banana.

Walter, have you made up your mind about
the election? Yep. Oh, that's great.

You know, Mrs. Naugatuck is voting
tomorrow for the first time, and she

you're a very reasonable and unbiased
person. She'd like some guidance.

I'm glad to help.

Mrs. Naugatuck?

Yes. Don't vote.

Walter, where's the TV guy?

Walter, what kind of advice is don't
vote? Good advice.

I'm not voting myself.

Walter, you have to vote.

I do not.

I mean, thanks to the politicians, I
went bankrupt this year.

Walter, that is the most selfish thing I
have ever heard you say.

Now, look, if you have problems, Walter,
you change things the way every

responsible citizen does, by going down
to the polls and voting.

Maude, this is a free country. I don't
have to vote if I don't want to. I don't

believe it. Walter, I am shocked. You
sat right here with me and watched all

debates. I watched the debates, and I
never saw a man so mixed up, muddle

-headed, and confused in my life.

Carter isn't very good. President Ford
just isn't very good on television.

We're not talking about Ford or Carter.
I was the one who was mixed up and

confused. Walter, this is a disgrace.

You've got to vote for somebody. Yes,
now you listen to Arthur, Walter. I

care whether you cast your vote for Ford
or throw it away on a Georgia peanut

butter and jellyfish who flip -flops on
every issue. Arthur!

My mind is made up.

Mr. Finlay, I'm ashamed of you. I don't
know who I'm going to vote for tomorrow,

but I know I'm going to vote because
it's a precious right, and anyone who

doesn't exercise it doesn't deserve to
be an American.

Did you hear that, Walter?

That was a brand new citizen speaking,
Walter. A woman from England whose very

own ancestors were slain by American
soldiers in the bloody trenches of

and Bunker Hill.

And she is voting tomorrow.

Now, Walter, what are you going to do?

I'll think about it, Mort.

Oh, Marty, that was beautiful.

I just hope he never finds out Mrs.

Naugatuck's ancestors were all
Hungarians.

Oh, hello, Ma.

Oh, hi, Viv. Arthur, dinner's ready.

Vivian, you won't believe this.

Walter Finley, my best friend, isn't
voting.

For what?

Walter is not voting in the presidential
election tomorrow.

The election is tomorrow?

Gosh, how time flies.

It seems like only yesterday it was
Halloween.

It was.

Yeah.

Hi, Carol. Hi, Carol. Carol, where's
Lee?

He'll be here any minute.

Oh, Lee.

Oh, I want to meet Lee.

Maude says you've been seeing quite a
bit of him.

Ma says he's all you ever talk about.

Ma says you're going to Lake Saranac
with him. Ma says shut up, Vivian.

Carol says, how did you know I was going
to Lake Saranac with Lee?

Oh, no, the Genesee Lodge called to
confirm your reservation.

Oh, good.

A whole gang of us are going up there
tomorrow night to celebrate the end of

campaign. Vivian, I'm hungry. What's for
supper?

Pot roast. And for dessert, we have Baby
Ruth bars left over from Trick or

Treat.

Not those little miniature ones. I hate
those.

Well, why'd you let people give them to
you?

Come on, Betty.

Arthur.

Arthur, you were trick -or -treating.

No!

I was ringing doorbells for President
Ford.

And since doctors command respect, I
wore my surgical gown.

And for some reason, people thought I
was in costume.

Oh, Carol, I'm so upset. Do you know
that Walter

is thinking of not voting tomorrow?

I know.

I overheard.

I think he's just getting old and
cynical.

Now, thank God for young people like you
and your new boyfriend.

The young people who are making the
changes in this country.

The Carols, the Lees, the Mauds.

Mother, don't worry about it. Walter
will change his mind.

I hope so. Right now, you are my
comfort. You and Lee.

And I hope you have a marvelous time up
at the lodge tomorrow.

You've been working very hard, and you
deserve some time off.

Because I imagine Lee's an old -timer.
He probably worked for McGovern in the

last election.

No. He wasn't actively involved in the
last election. Oh?

Well, who did he vote for?

He didn't vote.

He didn't vote? Why not?

He wasn't old enough.

That's him now.

He wasn't old enough.

72, the voting age was 18, which means
you're going up to Genesee Lodge with

somebody who can't be more than...
Mother?

I'd like you to meet Lee Harrison.

Mrs. Findlay, a pleasure to meet you at
last. Well, it's nice to meet you, Lee.

Would you excuse me for just a moment?

So you're Lee.

Carol's told me a lot about you, Mrs.
Findlay. She's told me a lot about you,

too. Not enough, but a lot.

Oh, Mother, come on, Lee. Let's go.
Carol, could I see you for a moment in

kitchen? Mother, we really are in kind
of a hurry. Just take a moment. Make

yourself at home, Lee. You can watch TV
if you want. I think Sesame Street is...

Mother, that was very rude.

How old is that boy in the living room?
He's not a boy. He's a man. He's 21.

When was he 21?

Next week.

That's great. Why don't we give him a
surprise birthday party? I'll rent a

photographer and a pony.

Look, Mother, I know this is a little
unusual. Wrong!

Not liking pizza is unusual.

Wearing a crew cut is unusual.

Being a Wayne Newton fan is unusual.

Unless you're wearing a crew cut, but
this is insane!

I don't believe this.

I mean, I expected you to make a few
jokes and that'd be the end of it. Look

you! You're upset because I'm dating a
fellow who's a couple of years younger

than me?

Eleven.

Carol, what can you possibly have in
common with a boy who isn't even as old

your car?

What?

We enjoy each other. We have a good time
together.

Besides, Mother Lee is a brilliant
person.

He's at the top of his freshman class in
law school.

Oh, well, that's great.

Because if you take him to the
mountains, you're going to need a good

Look, Mother.

Try to understand.

Lee is refreshing.

I'm so tired of dating divorced men who
spend all evening complaining about

paying child support.

Lee is different.

Well, of course he's different. He
doesn't pay child support. He gets it!

How come you didn't object last year
when I was dating that lawyer who was

11 years older than me? Ten.

no big deal. We're just dating.

But it's my life, and I'm not going to
stand here and argue with you about it.

Carol, in the words of Red Fox...

I'm

sorry for the delay, Lee. Let's go.

Just a second, Carol.

Mrs. Findlay, I couldn't help
overhearing some of the things you were

the kitchen.

Little pitchers have big ears.

Let's go, Lee. No, Carol, that's exactly
what I want to talk about.

Great, because I want to talk about it,
too. Look, you don't owe her any

explanation. Carol, I insist.

Mrs. Findlay, call me Maude.

Mrs. Findlay, I know I'm a few years
younger than Carol. Eleven.

But I find girls my own age are just
that. They're girls, very inexperienced.

That's the crux of it. Well, my daughter
is not the answer to your crux life.

I can take care of my own crux life.

No, I mean they're inexperienced
politically.

Although you don't think so, Mrs.
Findlay, I'm a very good choice for

younger in years, but intellectually and
emotionally, I'm far more mature than

some of these so -called adults walking
around today.

Show me one.

What? Outside of this house.

Walter, I'd like you to say hello to Lee
Harrison.

Oh, hi, Lee.

Nice to meet you. I understand Carol's
dating your father.

This is the Lee Harrison Carol is
dating, the one who is taking your

stepdaughter up to Genesee Lodge
tomorrow night.

How old are you, Lee?

Almost 21.

Well, there's no law against it.

What?

I've been thinking about the election,
and you're right. I have to vote

tomorrow. Because with all the problems
of hunger and crime and racial strife...

Walter, we have a problem in our home.
How can you bother me with hunger and

racial strife?

You are totally insensitive.

Come on, Lee, let's go. Stop them,
Walter, please. They won't listen to me.

Maybe they'll listen to you say
something.

Carol? Lee?

Listen to Maud.

Am I crazy? Am I the only one who thinks
this is wrong?

Surely your parents don't approve, Lee.
They don't actually know about it.

Aha! I rest my case.

That's a term I picked up from an
elderly lawyer Carol used to date.

It's not what you think, Mrs. Finley.
I've just been so busy with the

I haven't had a chance to tell them
about Carol.

They wouldn't mind.

I'd like to meet them and see for
myself.

You have met them.

Leon and Ursula Harrison. You belong to
the same club.

Your parents are Leon and Ursula
Harrison?

The same.

Well, well, well, well. Carol, do you
know what we have here? The littlest

rebel.

His parents are proper conservative
people, so he dates older women. His

are staunch Republicans, so he shows
them by working for Jimmy Carter.

Mother, I'm the one that's working for
Carter. That's right.

I'm working for Ford.

First I find out you are dating a mere
boy. Now I find out he's a Republican.

Where the hell did you learn to be so
tolerant?

Well, the acorn doesn't fall far. Never
mind.

You could have told me, Cal. You could
have warned me. Oh, Mother.

I thought about it. What good would it
have done?

Well, at least I could have prepared
myself for it emotionally.

Lee, would you mind if I invited your
parents over here so that we could talk

this whole thing through?

What do you think?

It's up to you.

Go ahead, Mrs. Findlay. I think you'll
be surprised by their attitude. Tell me,

do you know if they have any plans for
tomorrow night? They had mentioned

something about a Gerald Ford victory
party. Good, then they're free.

We're leaving, Mother.

Okay, go.

Any information?

Harrison, Leon, Ashcroft Avenue.

Thank you.

Oh, and operator, don't ever have
children.

Ursula, Leon, I just cannot believe
you're taking this whole thing so

Maude, they just realize there's nothing
you can do about it. That's right,

Maude. You know boys.

You tell them one thing and they do
exactly the opposite.

Well, Lee is just the kind of kid who
goes for older girls.

But don't worry.

He's not going to marry her. He's just
having a little fun.

Is that supposed to comfort me?

Oh, Maude, we love Carol. When she was
in school with our daughter, Celeste, we

just thought the world of her.

Although she was always a little boy
crazy.

I guess she still is.

Well,

you know, you can't blame her after all.
Our son Lee is... he's some boy.

Can I get you anything? Another drink?

No, no, thank you.

Would you like some nuts or some bean
dip?

No, not for me.

Triscuit? Polish sausage?

No, nothing.

I guess I'm just going to have to sit
through this.

Ursula Leon, I would like you to meet
our housekeeper, Mrs. Naugatine.

How do you do? Who voted today for the
first time. Oh, congratulations, isn't

it? I hope you voted for Jimmy Carter.

I did.

Oh, good. You know, for a minute, I was
afraid you might vote for President

Ford. I did.

You mean you voted for both of them?

Why should I get in trouble on my first
election?

Of course, Mrs. Harrison, Mr. Harrison.
Carol, did you folks have a chance to

talk about Carol and me?

Oh, yes, we had a nice little chat.

Howly, I guess I'm just out of step. I
mean, I think this is wrong, but

apparently nobody else is concerned, so
I guess I'm outvoted. Oh, Mother.

Well, I'm glad that's settled.

Carol, we should get started.

Yes, it's a long drive up to Genesee
Lodge.

Genesee Lodge.

You're not going to Genesee Lodge. Sure,
Dad, I told you. We're going to go up

to the mountains.

But you didn't say Genesee Lodge.

You can't go there. Don't you know who
owns that place?

Our good friends Buzzy and Bootsy
Dinsmore.

I mean, everybody we know goes there.

Dickie and Deedee and Bobby and Deedee.
Yes, and Dinky and Sissy and Bunky and

Bambi.

Why are you upset? Our friends go there,
too. Grumpy and sneezy and...

Donner and Blitzen?

It's not funny, Maude.

I'm not going to have my son making a
fool of me in front of all my friends.

Walter, you can get me that drink now.

I wouldn't leave this room if it was on
fire.

Just a moment, Leon. Are you saying...
that it is all right for your son to

fun with my daughter as long as your
friends don't find out?

Well, maybe you're used to your
daughter's behavior, Maude, but I'm not

have Lee parading around in front of my
friends with a woman ten years older

than he.

Eleven.

Leon, I did not like that crack about my
daughter's behavior.

Maude has a point, Leon.

Never mind, Ursula.

Admit it, Maude. There's something wrong
with a woman who chases after young

boys. How... Dare you?

My daughter has never done anything to
be ashamed of, except once in high

school.

She lied.

You called, and she said that your
daughter Celeste was sleeping here.

We didn't know where she was sleeping.

I

don't

believe that.

I do.

Dad, you are way off base on that. Now,
I have a great respect for Carol. We

have a wonderful relationship.

I don't care who knows about it.

Come on, Carol, let's go.

Son, if you take that girl up to Genesee
Lodge, I'm cutting off your tuition

payments. You'll have to work your way
through law school.

That's probably a good idea.

Come on, let's go.

Goodbye, Mother.

Have a wonderful time, you two. And give
our love to Doody and Drinker and

Humpty and Dumpty and Huffer and Humble.

Was Carol making fun of me?

Well, in any event, Maud, your
daughter's behavior is shameful.

There's a word for a woman like her.

Cradle snatcher.

There are two words for a man like you,
and the first one is horses.

Ursula, we're leaving.

Oh, must you?

The evening is young, and I haven't even
told you yet about Celeste and the

ROTC.

But I had a perfectly wonderful evening.

You did not.

But, God, I am proud of you.

It takes a special kind of person to
admit she's wrong.

I admire the way you let other people
live their own lives. Thank you,

Genesee Lodge, I'm calling for Miss
Carol Traynor. Yeah, when she and Mr.

Harrison arrive, please be sure they
have separate rooms.

I wonder what Cronkite has to say.