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Last week on Maud, our official campaign
poster, HFP,
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Henry Fonda for president.
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Doctor, the reason we're so worried
about my mother is she's gone to all of
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trouble and all this expense.
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She hasn't even talked to Mr. Fonda yet.
Well, it usually happens sooner or
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later to someone who might be a manic
depressive.
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Manic depressive?
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You know, all of us at some time or
other in our lives.
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Have emotional highs and lows, you know.
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Uncontrolled. The higher this gets, the
lower this can get.
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And both emotional extremes, well, they
can be dangerous.
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And because I am so sure that you could
do anything you set your mind to, if you
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do succeed in getting me nominated, I
will not run.
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Oh, it's all my fault.
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I had the opportunity.
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Lady Godiva was a freedom rider.
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She didn't care if the whole world
looked.
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Jonah barked with the Lord to guide her.
She was a sister who really could.
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Isadora was the first proper to. Ain't
you glad she showed up?
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Oh, yeah.
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When the country was falling apart,
Betsy Ross got it all sewed up.
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And then there's one rider.
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It's basically what you could call a
grassroots campaign.
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This will be the headquarter. Bloody
slobs, reporters.
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Bloody slobs. I just don't understand
this. It was just night before last that
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Henry Fonda stood in that exact spot and
said he wouldn't run for president.
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Then Marty gets so depressed, she has to
go upstairs to bed for two days, and
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the whole thing starts all over again.
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Isn't it exciting?
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No, it's not exciting. It's sick.
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I know about these things. I'm a doctor.
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When will Walter see this chaos?
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Oh, fried fritters, Arthur.
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I'll get it.
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Sponder for present headquarters.
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Who is it?
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Barbara Wal... Barbara Wal... You mean
Barbara Walters of the Today Show,
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Barbara Walters?
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Oh, well, excuse me just a minute, Miss
Walters. Here, hold it.
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What's the matter?
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That's Barbara Walters, and I'm a mess.
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Hello?
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Yes, hello, Miss Walters.
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Oh, you wanted to talk to Mrs. Finley.
Well, she's, um, she's resting just now.
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I hung up on Walter Cronkite.
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Not actually Walter Cronkite. It was
this other man. I think his name was
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Hi. Hi.
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You got a press pass to get in?
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Press pass?
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No pass. You can't get in. Orders.
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What the hell are you talking about?
Don't hassle me, Mac.
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I'm only doing this job part -time as a
favor. My full -time job is different.
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Look, I don't care who you are. I don't
care about your orders. And I don't care
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whatever it is you do when you're not
here.
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I'm an organizer for the Teamsters
Union.
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I care.
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Tony, when Walter Cronkite gets here, be
sure you let him in. Gotcha. Vivian!
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Where do you think you're going?
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Didn't you hear her call me Walter?
Yeah.
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I'm Walter Cronkite.
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Mr. Finley. What the hell are you up to?
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My job.
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When Mr. Finley took me out of my taxi,
he made me press secretary, I promise.
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Look who I got here.
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Time magazine, Newsweek, the Washington
Post, the Wall Street Journal, and the
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biggest of them all, Butch Hacker from
the National Enquirer.
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Carol,
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does Maude know anything about this? No.
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She's been so depressed, she's been
upstairs in her bed sleeping all day.
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did this happen?
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I mean, who'd be dumb enough to say
anything to all these newspapers about
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Fonda? Certainly none of us.
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Listen to this, Walter, from the New
York Times.
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The meeting between Mr. Fonda and Mrs.
Findlay was confirmed by an unidentified
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source who said, it's true that Mr.
Fonda bloody well came to the flippin'
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house.
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Sounds like a Russian spy to me.
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Mort is depressed. I'm going upstairs
and talk to him. Well, I better come
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you.
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Mort,
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I know you're depressed.
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And I know this isn't the time to bring
this up.
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Mother, how are you feeling?
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Walter.
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Walter, come here, Walter.
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Of course, Maude. I'm here.
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Oh, Walter, I've been waiting for you. I
have to talk to you.
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I'm here, Maude. Talk to me. Talk to me.
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Walter.
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Yes, Maude. I want to tell you a joke.
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A joke?
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This man walks into a restaurant.
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The lobster, he brings him one that only
has one claw.
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Have you heard this, Walter?
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So the man says, what happened to the
other claw?
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And the waiter says, oh, he got in a
fight with another lobster and he lost
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So the man says...
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I was five years old.
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Right before he came to the punchline, I
blurted it out ahead of him.
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He was crushed.
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You never did that to your father, did
you, Walter?
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Maude, I know you're upset, but
something's got to be done.
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The house is full of reporters. The
phone is ringing off the hook.
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It's a madhouse. Reporters? How can you
talk about reporters when I ruined my
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father's lobster joke?
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Maud, word got out that Henry Fonda was
here and they think he's running for
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president. Walter, not now.
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When?
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I mean, the whole world's going crazy,
Maud.
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Even Barbara Walters called.
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Maud, Henry Fonda is not running.
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You're standing there calling Barbara
Walters a liar.
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Maud, Henry Fonda's... What does Henry
Fonda know? He's an actor.
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Now, this is really wonderful. It's
beginning to snowball. Walter, what did
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tell you?
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Henry Fonda for president. I mean, we'll
get every single woman's vote in the
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country. I just had a brilliant idea.
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For the men, for vice president, we'll
run Jane.
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Ladies and gentlemen, gentlemen,
gentlemen, gentlemen, these are the
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Now, I know there have been a great many
rumors flying around, but the truth is,
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according to Barbara Walters, Henry
Fonda wants to be president so bad he
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taste it. No more questions. No more
questions. I really have nothing more to
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say. Oh, except for this. A little human
interest.
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I sleep in the raw.
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Say what you just said. It's not true.
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Mrs. Finlay, Mrs. Finlay. Turn on the 5
o 'clock news.
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They're interviewing Henry Fonda at the
Kennedy Airport. Thank God. We can put
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an end to this once and for all.
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We're out of proportion. But Mr. Fonda,
you said... What do I know? I'm an
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actor.
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We're out of proportion.
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Are you denying that you appeared before
a group of your supporters in Tuckahoe,
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New York? No, but... Then you are
declaring yourself a candidate. No. Then
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you're an undeclared candidate.
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No, I didn't tell them I was running for
president. They told me.
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Then you admit you are running for
president. I didn't say that.
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Are you willing to settle for the vice
presidency?
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No, absolutely not.
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Then it's the presidency or nothing.
Yes.
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Well, as you've just seen for
yourselves, Mr. Henry Conda, with a
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unlike that of Senator Ted Kennedy and
Hubert Humphrey, unofficially throwing
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his hat into the ring.
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I mean, look at the political savvy he's
picked up already.
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I will not run.
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Speak to you in the kitchen? Oh,
certainly, darling. Oh, Walter, this is
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to be the most exciting campaign in the
history of this country.
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I want you to see Dr. Lester.
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Now, look, Walter, I am tired of your
constantly referring to my enthusiasm as
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manic depression.
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Damn it, Maud, you got a problem. Admit
it.
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And if you got a problem, go to a person
who can help you with that problem.
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If it takes a psychiatrist, go see a
psychiatrist.
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If it takes a doctor, go see a doctor.
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For crying out loud, if it takes a
television repairman, go see a
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repairman.
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Walter, are you trying to tell me
there's something wrong with my
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tubes?
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Ward, your problem is my problem. I'll
see Dr.
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Lester with you. Walter, who sees the
psychological problem in this situation,
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you or me? I do.
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You see the psychological problem, you
see the psychiatrist.
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explain this fantasy of yours that I
need a television repairman.
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All right, Maud. Forget it!
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Brilliantly dramatic performance,
Walter, but you forgot to say one thing.
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Frankly, Scarlett, I don't give a damn.
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You're in the wrong movie, Maud.
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But if you ever want any help, all you
have to do is whistle.
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And... You know how to whistle.
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Just pucker up and blow.
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Carol, Viv, Mrs.
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Nogatuck, Arthur, I'm worried.
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For the first time in my life, I think
I'm very frightened.
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I know, Mother.
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Maude, we all understand.
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It'll work out, Mom.
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Maude, it's facing the problem that's
the important thing.
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You're all so right, and I'm so glad you
recognize it, too.
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And Walter needs help. He's sick.
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Let's move it. Ash will be down in a
minute. No!
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This is worse than yesterday.
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Oh, wow. Now it's television.
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Every time I turn my back, this place
turns into a madhouse. Relax, Mac.
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You're about to be visited by the girl
all America likes to wake up with.
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Linda Lovelace is coming here?
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I'm talking about Barbara Walters. But I
like your taste.
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Now, look, only authorized personnel
allowed in here. Now, be a nice guy.
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Hey, you, Cronkite.
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Out in the kitchen.
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And that's the way it is.
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I can't believe this.
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Where's Maude?
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She's upstairs getting dressed for her
interview.
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It's like being in prison.
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Well, the men in the living room don't
want us in there while Mother's doing
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interview with Barbara Walters.
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Why? When Betty Ford gets interviewed,
do they lock Jerry in the kitchen?
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That's it.
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That's it.
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That's how she got away with all that
dirty talk about sex and marijuana.
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They had Jerry locked in the kitchen.
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I'm so worried about Mort. I'm a nervous
wreck.
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And on top of everything else, she spent
over $2 ,500 on this dumb campaign.
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You mean $3 ,000.
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She bought herself a new outfit for the
interview.
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How can one outfit cost $500?
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It came with a hat.
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Walter, Walter, you've got to help me
get upstairs to see Maude. Those TV
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won't let me through, and I know I can
help her. Listen, I stayed up all night
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reading this wonderful medical book, and
I know all about manic depression.
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Vivian, kindly remember who the doctor
is here.
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Oh. Oh, Arthur, I'm sorry.
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Well, I only read one book.
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I don't know half as much about medicine
as you do.
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I accept your apologies.
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Anyway, I have such encouragement for
Maud. Did you know they used to put
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in asylums before they found out that
most manic depression is caused by a
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chemical imbalance in the brain?
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00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:15,210
See, Maud isn't just depressed. She's a
manic depressive. And that's different
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because that can be controlled
biochemically. Did you know that?
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Did you know that, did you? Vivian, he
should be hearing this from a qualified
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physician.
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Arthur, we don't have time to find a
qualified physician.
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00:15:30,650 --> 00:15:34,770
Anyway, Walter, I stayed up all night
reading this wonderful book called From
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Sad to Glad, and it fits Maude's case
exactly.
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Her violent swings from high to low, and
how she spends money like water, and
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how she's so unpredictable, like...
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Like suddenly getting romantic right in
the middle of an argument?
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00:15:49,650 --> 00:15:53,330
She told me that last week you and she
were driving along and you were having a
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terrible argument and she said right in
the middle of it you came to Albany
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Avenue and you stopped for a red light.
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And she said, before the light turned
green...
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By telling you all this, you were the
one who was trying to drive.
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Anyway, I stayed up all night because I
love Mauden because I know if she
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doesn't get help, it can get worse. And
I want to help her right now because
235
00:16:27,210 --> 00:16:29,110
she's my best friend in the whole world.
236
00:16:29,450 --> 00:16:32,030
Oh, I want to help her right this
minute.
237
00:16:35,610 --> 00:16:36,610
Yeah.
238
00:16:36,810 --> 00:16:38,070
Okay, we're all set up.
239
00:16:38,890 --> 00:16:40,990
Miss Walters is on her way for the
interview.
240
00:16:41,500 --> 00:16:45,360
Her production person, Faye Dunlap, is
coming down to set things up.
241
00:16:45,800 --> 00:16:49,500
The most beautiful girl in the world.
242
00:16:57,760 --> 00:16:59,720
Alice Cooper, eat your heart out.
243
00:17:10,410 --> 00:17:12,150
I was going to say overdressed.
244
00:17:14,530 --> 00:17:18,250
We'll be ready to go in a minute, Mrs.
Finley. Oh, and you are?
245
00:17:18,510 --> 00:17:23,290
I'm nobody, just a member of the
television crew, ma 'am. Now, please
246
00:17:23,290 --> 00:17:24,630
you are nobody.
247
00:17:24,910 --> 00:17:26,390
Nobody is a nobody.
248
00:17:27,150 --> 00:17:31,770
You are a worker, and workers are the
backbone of this country, and you
249
00:17:31,770 --> 00:17:35,750
our respect and our love, because
without you, we are nothing.
250
00:17:36,230 --> 00:17:38,160
Lady. That's beautiful.
251
00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:45,640
Take your grimy hands off. Are we ready?
Time wasted. Money
252
00:17:45,640 --> 00:17:47,480
lost. Yes, ma 'am. All set.
253
00:17:47,980 --> 00:17:50,560
Mrs. Finley. Yes? Now, let's see.
254
00:17:51,080 --> 00:17:52,240
Please sit here.
255
00:17:53,120 --> 00:17:54,600
Is that what you're wearing?
256
00:17:56,780 --> 00:17:58,360
Oh, now, don't be nervous.
257
00:17:58,660 --> 00:18:01,960
Just a moment. Just a moment. I
understood that I was to be interviewed
258
00:18:01,960 --> 00:18:06,520
Barbara Walters. Mrs. Finley, you are
being interviewed by Barbara Walters.
259
00:18:08,970 --> 00:18:12,270
God, what do they do to make you look so
beautiful on TV?
260
00:18:14,550 --> 00:18:17,250
Mrs. Finley. Not that you aren't lovely.
261
00:18:17,470 --> 00:18:20,310
Now, you guys do one hell of a job.
262
00:18:23,170 --> 00:18:24,470
Now, see.
263
00:18:25,030 --> 00:18:29,950
Go ahead, Miss Walters.
264
00:18:30,390 --> 00:18:34,430
Mrs. Finley, I'm not... Barbara Walters.
I knew it. Now, where the hell is
265
00:18:34,430 --> 00:18:35,430
Barbara Walters?
266
00:18:35,810 --> 00:18:38,850
She's on her way. She's been delayed
interviewing Kissinger.
267
00:18:40,110 --> 00:18:43,970
Doesn't she realize that she's wasting
her time on small potatoes with
268
00:18:43,970 --> 00:18:46,470
when I am sitting on the biggest story
in the country?
269
00:18:46,770 --> 00:18:48,670
This is an insult to Henry Fonda.
270
00:18:48,890 --> 00:18:51,010
Get out of my house. I don't need you.
271
00:18:51,490 --> 00:18:52,490
Come on, gang.
272
00:18:52,570 --> 00:18:54,090
Barbara picked another hamburger.
273
00:18:54,990 --> 00:18:57,950
Come on. You've got me a beam at three o
'clock.
274
00:18:58,270 --> 00:19:00,070
Tony, you can leave. I don't need you
anymore.
275
00:19:00,370 --> 00:19:01,370
Yes, ma 'am.
276
00:19:04,400 --> 00:19:05,640
I just got rid of everybody.
277
00:19:05,860 --> 00:19:09,940
I don't need Barbara Walters. Maud,
please! This is no time for a lecture,
278
00:19:10,040 --> 00:19:13,740
Walter. Don't you realize I'm in the
middle of a campaign to have Henry Fonda
279
00:19:13,740 --> 00:19:14,740
elected president?
280
00:19:14,940 --> 00:19:17,160
Maud, there is no campaign.
281
00:19:17,940 --> 00:19:19,040
Grandma! Grandma!
282
00:19:19,300 --> 00:19:23,100
We had a mock election in our school
today. Guess who won? Henry Fonda.
283
00:19:23,880 --> 00:19:25,640
Do you hear, Walter?
284
00:19:26,220 --> 00:19:30,100
Even little school children know that
Henry Fonda's a winner.
285
00:19:30,860 --> 00:19:34,720
Yeah, he won by 28 votes. He clobbered
Tony Alando and Don.
286
00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:37,760
Mrs. Finley.
287
00:19:38,460 --> 00:19:41,360
Mrs. Finley, a telegram from Henry
Fonda.
288
00:19:41,820 --> 00:19:43,260
How do you know who it's from?
289
00:19:43,580 --> 00:19:44,620
I opened it.
290
00:19:45,260 --> 00:19:49,340
Oh, this is it. This is it. This has to
be the official declaration that Henry
291
00:19:49,340 --> 00:19:52,080
Fonda is entering the race. Oh, God,
isn't this exciting?
292
00:19:53,180 --> 00:19:58,420
Dear Mrs. Finley, know your heart's in
the right place, but emphatically, I
293
00:19:58,420 --> 00:19:59,420
am...
294
00:19:59,850 --> 00:20:01,090
Not a candidate.
295
00:20:16,170 --> 00:20:20,490
If you persist in using my name, we'll
have to turn the matter over to my
296
00:20:20,490 --> 00:20:21,490
attorneys.
297
00:20:22,350 --> 00:20:23,350
P .S.
298
00:20:23,910 --> 00:20:25,130
You're one heck of a lady.
299
00:20:26,190 --> 00:20:27,190
Henry Fonda.
300
00:20:32,270 --> 00:20:34,010
Mrs. Finley, you're real class.
301
00:20:35,290 --> 00:20:39,310
I laid out 35 bucks this morning for
coffee and junk, you know, for TV crew.
302
00:20:40,250 --> 00:20:41,570
But it's all on me.
303
00:20:42,490 --> 00:20:44,130
Oh, gosh, don't be silly.
304
00:20:44,790 --> 00:20:47,130
Take it out of the special reserve fund.
305
00:20:48,850 --> 00:20:49,850
Reserve fund?
306
00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:54,390
The $6 ,500 we had in our national city
account.
307
00:20:57,230 --> 00:20:58,290
That's Philip's account.
308
00:20:59,230 --> 00:21:00,570
That's the money we've been...
309
00:21:00,990 --> 00:21:02,530
Saving for his college education.
310
00:21:02,750 --> 00:21:05,290
You can't spend that money. I already
spent it.
311
00:21:05,550 --> 00:21:07,890
What? How dare you?
312
00:21:08,250 --> 00:21:10,650
Who gave you the authority to even touch
it?
313
00:21:11,110 --> 00:21:12,850
You did, for expenses.
314
00:21:13,830 --> 00:21:17,810
$500 for office supplies and $6 ,000 for
miscellaneous.
315
00:21:21,050 --> 00:21:22,050
That does it.
316
00:21:23,170 --> 00:21:24,170
Get out of here, Gus.
317
00:21:25,090 --> 00:21:26,530
Come on, get out of my house!
318
00:21:26,930 --> 00:21:28,170
Listen to that.
319
00:21:29,480 --> 00:21:30,480
35 bucks.
320
00:21:31,580 --> 00:21:34,800
It don't pay to be a nice guy.
321
00:21:39,060 --> 00:21:40,800
$6 ,500 gone.
322
00:21:41,300 --> 00:21:42,300
Wasted.
323
00:21:43,900 --> 00:21:48,800
Maude, we broke our backs for eight
years saving that money for Philip.
324
00:21:48,840 --> 00:21:52,060
that wasn't even all your money. I
contributed $40 a month to that
325
00:21:52,160 --> 00:21:53,260
Mother, you had no right.
326
00:21:54,660 --> 00:21:57,060
Now, if you don't understand what you're
doing to yourself, I...
327
00:21:57,280 --> 00:21:58,960
Look what you're doing to people who
love you.
328
00:21:59,260 --> 00:22:02,120
Stop it!
329
00:22:07,300 --> 00:22:08,700
I'm sorry I yelled.
330
00:22:09,280 --> 00:22:11,660
But you got no right to speak to Grandma
like that.
331
00:22:15,760 --> 00:22:16,860
It's okay, Grandma.
332
00:22:17,740 --> 00:22:20,360
I don't mind. After all, it was spent
for a good cause.
333
00:22:47,440 --> 00:22:48,720
They're quite a guy, Philip.
334
00:22:49,620 --> 00:22:52,140
Your grandmother needed a little love
just then.
335
00:23:00,060 --> 00:23:01,060
Maud.
336
00:23:34,510 --> 00:23:36,030
Does that mean you'll see Dr.
337
00:23:36,270 --> 00:23:38,990
Lester? The first thing tomorrow
morning.
338
00:23:39,810 --> 00:23:43,530
Well, you are the most wonderful, most
incredible...
339
00:23:59,690 --> 00:24:04,210
Since I'm still on cloud nine, why don't
we take advantage of it?
340
00:24:05,230 --> 00:24:06,250
Shall we go upstairs?
341
00:24:15,510 --> 00:24:19,610
Dinner will be ready in about ten
minutes. All right, sweetheart.
342
00:24:21,250 --> 00:24:23,930
You've been seeing Mort about six weeks
now, Dr.
343
00:24:24,190 --> 00:24:25,190
Lester. What do you think?
344
00:24:25,690 --> 00:24:28,150
Well, the medication seems to have
stabilized her mood.
345
00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:30,240
Now we can get at the real causes.
346
00:24:30,620 --> 00:24:31,680
Are you sure, Doctor?
347
00:24:31,900 --> 00:24:32,900
Oh, yes.
348
00:24:33,180 --> 00:24:38,140
Maude's a forceful, dynamic person, of
course. But she's on an even keel now.
349
00:24:38,520 --> 00:24:42,500
You know, not any more of those extreme
highs and lows.
350
00:24:42,860 --> 00:24:43,859
This is ridiculous.
351
00:24:43,860 --> 00:24:44,860
This is really ridiculous.
352
00:24:45,020 --> 00:24:48,300
You are the most incompetent person who
ever set foot in a kitchen.
353
00:24:48,600 --> 00:24:52,640
I mean, of all the dumb things you have
ever pulled, this has to be the dumbest.
354
00:24:52,880 --> 00:24:55,460
Who ever heard of frying a leg of lamb?
355
00:24:57,480 --> 00:24:58,660
I'm sorry, Maude.
356
00:25:00,110 --> 00:25:01,110
the oven.
357
00:25:01,370 --> 00:25:03,910
I was heating the salad plate.
358
00:25:06,510 --> 00:25:10,070
You're not incompetent. You are
hopeless. Absolutely hopeless.
359
00:25:10,310 --> 00:25:13,730
I mean, you cook the way Truman Capote
arm wrestles.
360
00:25:17,910 --> 00:25:20,330
You're right. She's back to normal.
361
00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:52,300
was taped in Hollywood before a live
audience.
29827
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