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Original subtitles

Lady Godiva was a freedom rider.

She didn't care if the whole world looked.

Joan of Arc with the Lord to guide her. She was a sister who really could.

Isadora was the first bra burner. Ain't you glad she showed up?

Oh, yeah.

When the country was falling apart, Betsy Ross got it all sewed up.

And then there's Maud.

And then there's Maud. And then there's Maud. And then there's Maud. And then

there's Maud. And then there's Maud.

That'll compromise and enterprise and anything but tranquilize. Right on,

Oh, oh, oh.

Here, you are the chicken.

Oh, Flora, I burned myself twice. The chicken's greasy.

Let's face it, I'm a rotten cook.

Don't worry about it, honey. With your looks, when a man asks what's cooking

tonight, he ain't thinking about fried chicken.

Come here.

Do me a favor and try that.

Oh, it looks like fried chicken. Smells like fried chicken.

Mmm.

Any suggestions?

Yep. Call Colonel Sanders.

Oh, sir's mother right for making me cook.

Where is she, anyway?

I'm doing last -minute shopping for more decoration.

Again? Mm -hmm.

The way she's fixing up that room, you'd think she was expecting the Queen of

England for a two -week visit instead of a little girl from the ghetto. Right.

Now, about your chicken, honey, before you roll it in the back... Florida, stop

jiving with Carol and give me a high.

Stop jiving?

The ghetto kid ain't even here yet, and already your mother sounds like Chubby

Checkers.

Oh, Florida, I'm so excited. Look what I got, just perfect for a little black

girl's room. Look, records, stuffed animals.

You'll notice the color of the puppy.

And here is a piece de resistance.

A poster of Isaac Hayes.

They say that John Denver is very big now, too, but unfortunately, he's white.

Oh, poor devil.

With us, you know, here we are. the first family to take a minority child to

stay with us over the school vacation.

With us leading the way, Florida, this entire white neighborhood will very soon

be sprinkled with little black faces like flowers.

Yeah, up to now, I've been the only one.

A lonely little petunia in an onion patch.

the energy crisis, you're the only one who doesn't seem to be having any

problem.

You getting oil from the Arabs?

Hi, Grandpa.

Hi, Philip.

Grandma, who stole my record player?

Philip, nobody stole your record player.

Grandma put it in the guest room.

But it's my record player.

Honey, we know it's your record player.

But we want our guest to be happy, don't we?

No.

Philip,

dear.

Philip, you know, with that girl living here in the house with us, we will learn

more about her, she will learn more about us, and that will make for better

understanding and a better world.

Do you know what I mean?

Yeah, I don't get my record player back.

All right, Philip, what doth the north wind do?

Blow. Right, Philip, blow.

Help your mother blot her greasy chicken.

Maud, sweetheart, you're pushing.

Don't expect too much when this girl gets here. Oh, me push, Walter? Come on,

you know I can handle anything.

Now, if there's anyone who can deal unemotionally with a little child from

ghetto, it's... She's here.

Stop being so unemotional.

Now listen, listen.

Her name is Francie Porter or Potter or something like that. Now look, no matter

how nervous you are, remember it is nothing, nothing compared to the way

poor terrified child feels. You know, reaching out desperately for compassion

and understanding.

Don't tell me you're...

You know, that's a long walk from the bus stop. I like to froze my butt off.

Yes.

Well, uh, welcome to our home, Francie Porter.

It's Potter.

Well, Potter Porter, you're here, and that's what's important, isn't it?

Right on?

my mother to the phone.

Don't jive me, Markham, or I'll bust you good when I get back. You hear?

Frankie,

I cannot tell you what an honor it is to have you in our home.

Well, whatever gets you through the night.

I got here. I've got here. I'm calling. Goodbye.

Damn.

Well, Francie, I hope you're hungry. We're having fried chicken for dinner.

Good. I win a buck.

You win a buck?

Yeah, I bet that dumb brother of mine said you'd have fried chicken for me the

first thing off.

I love a person with a sense of humor.

Excuse me.

Carol, for heaven's sake, go in the kitchen and throw out the grits.

Oh, Florida.

Florida, our little guest has arrived.

Uh, Francie, this is Florida. My dear, dear friend. Probably the best friend I

have in the whole world. I'm the main one.

Auntie? Oh, you know what aunt I'm talking about.

Pancake lady.

Ooh.

It's gonna be one of them kind of relationships, huh?

Come on, honey.

Hey, fat mama, what you gonna do with my bag?

You call me fat mama again and I'll show you what I'm gonna do with it.

unless you already ate my chicken.

I need you to put your things in these drawers and hang your coat in that

closet. What are they trying to make this place, the Harlem Hilton?

I hate it already.

Then why did you come?

Because my mother said if I didn't come, she'd go upside my head.

You see, my mother's got this thing.

Like, I gotta go stay with the white family so they'll learn what I'm like.

like it'll make for a better world and all that jazz.

So I told her, why don't she go live with her wife family and leave me alone?

But she's 52 and nobody'll take her.

Look, honey, the Finleys happen to be very nice people.

You don't have to be afraid of them.

What you talking about?

I'm 16 and I ain't afraid of nothing.

I just don't like living with honkies, that's all.

mighty mouth.

There's no need for you to be nasty. These people have gone to a lot of

for you.

Yeah, so did that white family last summer.

It took eight and a half days of my vacation so they could get rid of 200

of their guilt.

I'm a two -time loser.

Well, well, well, you two are having a real old -fashioned bull session.

Yeah.

A lot of boo, but not much session.

Boy, that Florida is really a nerd.

Oh, Francie, Florida is not a nerd.

You didn't think I knew what that meant, did you?

How do you like our little puppy? It's been in the family for years.

Then you should take the price tag off.

Look, Francie...

Why don't you tell me something about yourself?

Oh, come on, Francie. I want to be your friend.

You want to be my friend? Then boot me out of this house.

Go downstairs and call my mother and tell her you don't want me here. But we

want you here, Francie, as a member of the family.

I already got a family.

Look, I know what you want. You want a poor little black Francie Potter from

ghetto to be charitable to.

Francie, please.

Understand what you went through. Oh, Francie, come on. They must have been

poor, misguided liberals.

You know, who were trying to harm us?

Francie, we're not like that. Believe me, we are not trying to rip you on.

Rip me off?

You see, we're communicating.

Look, if you don't mind, I'd rather have my mother lay one on me than stand

here. and listen to you talk down to me. Bye.

No, Francie, please. I am not talking down to you. Look, you cannot leave.

me a chance.

Francie, you've only been here five minutes.

I mean, nobody learns to like me in five minutes.

I grow on people.

Oh, Francie, I told my friends, my family, everybody that you'd love it

You have to stay.

Okay.

What's it worth to you?

Now, Francie.

Now, Francie, don't tell me that you're thinking of trying to blackmail... You

mean that you would actually expect... Fran... I think I have $20 in my

purse.

has been with us. She has blossomed like a flower. Maude, I am so proud of you.

Oh, but what's so heartening is that she really is a member of the family.

You've never seen a happier home.

those little marks from your facelift show.

Walter, what is wrong?

Lord, I am swamped down here with paperwork, and Francie is deliberately

blasting that music out that I can't even think.

One more record, I'm going to kick that experiment of yours around the block at

45 RPM.

Hey, Walter, did you explain to her that you had work to do? Well, of course I

did. She just told me to swim on out and sing my blues to the big white whale.

Sing your blues to the big wife. Walter, that's cute.

She meant you, Maude.

That's even cuter.

Right. Well, I'll just go next door and get Arthur.

Look, let's face it, Maude. This just is not working out.

I mean, she's made the whole house into an uproar. She can't get along with

anyone. As a matter of fact, I can't understand why she just doesn't leave.

If I didn't know better, I'd swear you were bribing her to stay. Oh, Walter,

what a despicable, outrageous, insulting thing to accuse me of.

How much did you give her? Twenty dollars and shut up.

Look, Mrs. Finley, I know Francie is black, but you've got to open up your

and slip a little hate in there.

Look, Florida, I...

determined to make this thing work because if there is anything I can't

it's having my family say I told you so and having to keep my mouth shut because

they're right.

Francie, I'm home.

Francie! Walt, will you give it up? We're not communicating with this girl.

That's nonsense, Walt. It is not, Walt.

People communicate only when they are being themselves. One does not get

to someone by being something other than what one is.

That's a lovely speech, Walter. Really lovely.

Remind me when we have time to record it on tape so I can accidentally erase it.

Okay, Mort.

Take all this for example.

Annual Valentine party. We never had a Valentine party in our lives. Oh,

Every year, don't I give you a Valentine? And don't you give me one?

And don't we always have a little fun to celebrate the occasion?

Well, not in the living room, Ward. We celebrate upstairs and... Technicality!

A party is a party, no matter where.

Now, stop persecuting me, Walter.

Hi.

How's the fight going?

How'd you know we were fighting?

I just saw the... Birds fly off the chimney.

And to think I picked natural childbirth because I couldn't wait to see you.

Oh, Walter.

Walter, don't you understand?

Francie is acting this way because she doesn't feel loved here.

Now, tonight with the Valentines, we'll have a little fun, and I guarantee you

she'll start feeling like a member of the family.

Honey, she has this hard protective shell, but, Walter, Crack that shell

love.

Underneath, she's soft and sweet and tender.

You make her sound like a crab meat cocktail.

Happy Valentine's! Happy Valentine's! Look, Bob, Bob, look at the Valentine

Arthur game. Isn't that adorable?

Look, a cutout of a ballerina, and it says, You're my tutu.

That's not all, Marty. The heart being the symbol of Valentine's.

I also gave Vivian a gift certificate for an electrocardiogram.

Dearest, sweetest, most sentimental man in the whole world. I think I'm getting

a pain in my tutu.

Well, this ought to hold you until dinner.

Well, the party's beginning.

Carol, why don't you get Philip, and I'll get Francie.

Francie?

I've got five good reasons right here in my hand.

That's, uh, black ghetto talk. It means I love you.

Well, Vivian tells me you're not doing too well with your little experiment

intolerance. Oh, Vivian is wrong, Arthur. Francie is coming along fine.

Okay, I'm here.

Look at that face.

Don't you just love that smile? It lights up the whole room.

Arthur? Vivian?

This is Francie.

Francie.

This is Mrs.

Cavender, Dr. Harmon. Well, Francie, we've heard a lot of interesting things

about you.

Name one.

Francie, this is a party. There's no time for games.

This is a very, very important occasion.

St. Valentine's Day. It's a moment when people open their hearts and let the

love flow out. That is right, Marty, and that is exactly why I brought you this.

Happy Valentine's, Marty. Well, Arthur, how meaningful.

You see, Francis, when I'm near you, I feel I'm surrounded by all

the beauties of nature. Oh, Arthur, because I know I'm in moose country.

floating fancy.

And now, dear, because you are the newest member of the family, you get

Valentine from us first.

Ah, here, Francie.

Happy Valentine Day.

So read it.

Go ahead, read it, and read it aloud so we can all hear it.

Valentine's Day, we all rejoice the three little words to which we give

So for a dear sweet girl with a heart so true, we want you to know that we love

you.

Thank you, dear. You read that beautifully.

And so fast.

Yeah, just like a real person.

Yes, that's right, dear.

Mrs. Finley, I didn't have a chance to buy any valentines, so...

I thought it'd be kind of nice if I'd just make one up for everybody.

Francie, that's lovely.

Isn't that marvelous?

You see what a little patience can do?

Everybody, Francie made up a Valentine's for us. Okay, Francie, you're on.

For your card, so sweet and gooey, all I can say is one...

Oh, didn't I do that good, too?

Uh, Francie, dear, there's something you don't know about me. I am famous for

not losing my temper.

Oh, well, if you want me to perform...

is, you know.

Gorillas. Frankly, dear, I might as well tell you I am not going to lose my

temper. Why, sure.

You give the little gorilla a little reward and she'll do all kinds of cute

little tricks for you.

Francie, you have just done away with 200 years of guilt in two minutes flat.

Come and sit down, you little nerd.

Now, you listen to me.

I know life hasn't been very good to you, Francie, but there are people who

reaching out, and I'm one of them.

All right, I made a lot of mistakes, and I tried too hard.

I hate to disillusion you, but I'm not perfect.

You sit there, and I'm long -winded, too.

mistakes and I said the wrong thing. But Francie, I cared for you.

Everybody cared for you.

But if you're so full of hate that you just can't accept that possibility, then

maybe you're right.

So get upstairs and get your things and get out of here.

And so far as I'm concerned, you can freeze your butt off till it turns blue.

Sorry. I'm the one who's sorry.

You're right, Walter.

You can't accomplish anything unless you're yourself.

Just now was the first time I've been myself with that girl.

And that didn't work either.

Now what?

Oh, I'll handle this.

you listen to me, Francie?

Bug off, Mrs. Finley. Can't you see I'm busy?

You know, you're making it very difficult for me to send you back in the

condition you came in.

You're beginning to sound just like my mother.

Look, if I'm a member of this family like you say I am, then there ain't

be no difference between me or any other member.

From now on,

own weight like everybody else around here.

And I'm going to start by cleaning up that mess I made out there.

So would you get out of here and let me get it together?

Oh, wait a minute.

Here's your money back, damn it.

Happy Valentine.

Happy Valentine, Francie.

Francie, we have both been such nerds.

Yes, Francie.

Yes.

Thank you, dear.

Yes, it was very sweet of you to call.

Bye -bye.

You know, Florida, I never thought I'd say this.

Francie's been gone two days, and I miss her.

I really miss her. Yeah.

In my own way, I kind of miss the little fast buck, too.

You know something? This experiment in relationships between the races should

a lesson to all of us. I mean, with a little kindness and firmness and love,

can accomplish miracles.

You're right, Mrs. Finley.

In two years, just look what I accomplished with you.

Maud was recorded on tape before a live audience.

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