All language subtitles for maude_s01e18_florida_s_problem

Lady Godiva was a freedom rider.

She didn't care if the whole world
looked.

Joan of Arc with the Lord to guide her.
She was a sister who really could.

Isadora was the first bra burner. Ain't
you glad she showed up?

Oh, yeah.

When the country was falling apart,
Betsy Ross got it all sewed up.

Good morning, Maude. Morning, Mother.
Did you sleep well?

Well, Carol, I did not.

Didn't have a chance to.

Walter, I cannot believe how much you
snored last night.

You'd better watch it. One of these
nights, you're going to blow off your

mustache.

Good morning, Florida.

Good morning, Florida.

Is that all of it?

Don't worry about it. I always come
through the kitchen like a black

what that was all about, but I'm going
to find out.

Good morning, Florida.

Florida, dear, I said good morning.

I heard you in the first place, Mrs.
Finley.

Believe me, your voice has no trouble
traveling from where you are to any

you want to send me.

Florida, what's wrong?

Florida, please, what's wrong? Nothing's
wrong. Haven't you read the papers?

It's National Foul Mood Day. Some people
like Valentine's Day, some like

Groundhog's Day. Me? I'm celebrating
Foul Mood Day.

Whoopee!

Lord, I think something's troubling her.

You detected that.

Bravo, Walter.

Now, honey, I really am disturbed about
her.

She just... Bit my head off. Walter, you
talk to her. Why me? Oh, come on,

darling. You're so much more diplomatic
than I am. Look, honey, just talk to her

in your own warm, you know, inimitable,
lovely, compassionate way. Well, okay.

And if you hurt her feelings, I'll rip
your heart out.

That does it, Maud.

You want to talk to Florida? You talk to
her. I'm going upstairs to the library.

Carol. Hi.

Oh, Carol, please, talk to her. No,
Mother.

Mother Florida has the right to her
privacy. Now, if she's got a problem

she can't share with us, all we can do
is love her and wait until she comes out

of it.

Carol, you owe me your life.

There were years when I could have
stepped on you in your playpen.

So get me to that kitchen. I'm sorry,
Mother. All right, all right. You go to

work. I'll talk to her. But remember
this.

This is the first thing I have asked you
to do for me since you were in toilet

training.

And you didn't do that either.

I came to apologize.

For what?

For whatever I've said or done to make
you so upset. Why does it have to be

Maybe it's something in my private life
got me this way.

I do have a private life, you know. My
own family, friends, names. Oh, come on

now, Florida. I know that.

But every morning you come to work with
a big smile on your face, happy as a

lark. Happy as a lark, huh? Did you ever
see a happy lark, Mrs. Finley?

Well, I've been looking at them little
birds all my life, and not one of them

ever smiled at me.

Florida, what are you doing? You don't
smoke.

They say these things are supposed to
relax you.

Well, I'm waiting.

Now, look, Florida.

Honey, have you seen a doctor recently?
No, it might be possible that you're

going through... Look, when...

When women get to be at our time of
life, you know... What do you mean, our

of life? You don't know how old I am.
You forget.

You people don't never know how old we
are.

That kills you, don't it?

Look, Florida, put down the cigarette
and talk to me.

Now, if you are this upset, it has to be
something very, very, very important to

you. I mean, as important as you're
thinking of leaving me.

You cannot leave me.

What do you mean I cannot leave you? I
could swear there was a war fought about

this kind of thing and I was side one.

All right. If that's the way you feel,
you're free to leave.

deserve to know why you want to quit. I
didn't say I do. It's just that I have

to think about it. Think about what? Oh,
Florida, look, honey, I know sometimes

I say the wrong things or I talk too
much. Oh, your big mouth don't bother me

none, Ms. Finley.

It's kind of like working with the radio
on.

Why are you so upset? Why are you
smoking and why are you thinking of

I hope you can forgive me for this, Mrs.
Finley, but it's none of your business.

But it is my business. I love you,
Florida. Don't say that.

But I do.

Well, I can't stand seeing you so
unhappy because I love you. I told you

saying that.

My husband keeps saying that and then he
goes right on driving me up a wall.

Florida, you're having trouble with
Henry.

Henry who?

Florida. Come on. Look me in the eye and
tell me that you're not having trouble

with Henry.

I said the eye, Florida. You're looking
me in the mouth.

I like practicing with a moving target.

Florida. Florida.

Mrs. Finley, if you make me cry, I will
never forgive you.

Here it comes, and I'm never going to
forget it.

Oh, honey, Florida.

Lucky I had no idea you were this upset.
Sit down.

Florida.

You see, he got this job driving a cab
in his off hours, so just so I could

quit work and stay at home, said he was
tired of me working for the man.

He said that?

Actually, he said honky.

I can't understand, Henry.

You live with a man for 22 years.

You wake up one morning and all of a
sudden he's super fly.

I don't know, Florida, I may be cutting
my own throat, but if Henry can afford

to have you quit... He can't, Mrs.
Finley. He's a fireman. His work is

and he needs his rest.

He can't... drive cabs all hours and
then go into a dangerous job. I can't

that.

In a couple of years, when the children
are older and out of the house, that's

when I'll be able to quit.

But my Henry, he just won't wait.

We argued so bad this morning there was
even the threat of violence. Oh, no,

Florida. That's right, and I ain't never
hit him before.

I'll get that. You stay and finish your
cry. It'll do you good.

Come in, Mr. Evans.

You're Florida's husband.

Well, that's one way of putting it, but
the other way, which is the right way,

is that Florida's my wife.

Anyhow, I ain't got but a few minutes.
I'm here to pick her up.

Pick her up? But Florida isn't going
anywhere, Mr. Evans.

Oh, I'll be the judge of that, Mrs.
Finley.

Yeah, that's right. Just like I was
telling Mrs. Finley, here come the

Now get your things. I'm taking you
home. The hell you say.

Now don't give me no lift, woman. I got
the taxi parked outside. I'm going to

drive you home right now, so let's go.
Look, Mr. Evans, Florida, why don't I

leave and just let the two of you iron
things out?

Oh, she's not going to be doing no more
ironing, Mrs. Finley.

Let's go to our own family.

No more ironing for white folks.

Mr. Evans, I'll have you know that under
this roof, we are all human beings.

There is no white and no black.

We are all the same. Here we are all
people color.

You didn't tell me you was working for a
comedian.

You had no call to talk to her that way.
If you want to abuse a woman, you might

as well stick with me. You already put
in 22 years at it. She's been working

Miss Ann too long.

Where do you get off using words like
abuse?

If you want to tell me I'm hassling you,
just come right on up front and say so.

All right, man, you're hassling me.
Don't you open your mouth to me like

Now, Florida, your career as a maid is
over. Not for two more years, Henry, and

that's that.

That's that, is it?

Well, I can't pick you up and drag you
out of here.

So I tell you what.

I'm going to make you a sporting
proposition.

I'm holding one match in this hand here,
right? Oh, no, you don't, Henry Evans.

I'm not going to play any little games
with you. You trick me that way. You

always trick me. This is no trick,
Floyd. I'm holding one match in my hand,

ain't it?

Henry. Ain't this just one match here?
You see it's one match, isn't it? Yeah.

All right, now tell you what. I'm going
to take it and put it behind my back and

bring it back real fast.

There. How many matches do you see now?

One. Uh -uh.

Now there's two.

There ain't but one match there, Henry.
But I say there's two.

Now, will you go home with me if I'm
right?

Henry, you're tricking me. Baby, how can
I trick you? You say there's one match.

You see it with your own eyes. But I say
there's two.

Now, will you go home with me if I'm
right?

No, you're tricking me.

Well, will you go home with me if I'm
wrong?

Yeah. Get your things. I'm wrong.

I just want you to know that there is
absolutely no reason to be uncomfortable

about fighting in this house.

True love grows best in the soil of
emotions passionately expressed.

You saved that jive talk for the cotton
field, Mrs. Trentley.

Now, Florida, now hear this.

I'm pressed for time now, but when my
shift is over tonight, I'm coming back

taking you home for good. You hear me?
Once and for all, I'm taking you home

good. Now, that's that over and out.

Wait a minute, Henry. No, no, that's
that. Now, over and out.

I'm coming back at 9 o 'clock, and I
mean 9 o 'clock WPT.

Florida, what's WPT?

White people time.

If he didn't mean 9 o 'clock sharp, he
would have said CPT. That's colored

people time.

Which means?

Shuffle on in when you feel like it.

the male chauvinist pigs.

I mean, he's something straight out of
the dark ages.

Nothing racial intended.

Oh, Walter.

Look, honey, before you go to work, I
know that you're doing inventory this

week, but it's very important that you
be home no later than nine o 'clock.

Florida's husband wants her to quit her
job. Now, she doesn't want to do it.

Honey, he's coming by at 9 o 'clock to
pick her up and take her home. Please be

here. You know, maybe another man can
talk some sense into it. Another man is

right. I wouldn't touch this with a 10
-foot pole.

Walter! Now, look, Mort, I'm sure that
Florida understands.

We have no right to interfere in her
marriage. And I have no time for any of

this jive talk.

Now, Florida and I need your help. So
you be back, Walter, at 9 o 'clock

And I mean WPT.

Mort, what the devil is she talking
about?

I think she's turning black by osmosis.

Now look, Mort, if Mr. Evans wants his
wife home, that's his right. We're not

going to get involved. I absolutely
forbid it. You absolutely forbid it? You

heard me.

We're staying out of this.

And that's that.

Nothing racial intended, by the way.

Carol, Joe Namath. Mother, it's Bob
Green. Joe Namath. I tell you both,

and martyrs. Oh, come on. Carol, come
on. Will you listen to me? Will you

to me? Now, I have watched every single
pro football game on TV all year, so I'm

an authority.

And I know that Joe Namath, without a
shadow of a doubt, has a cuter rear end

than either Bob's or his.

Well, anyway, enough of that.

Here's to our emancipation proclamation.

I mean, a womancipation proclamation. To
our womancipation proclamation.

Florida and I are finally getting out
from under the yoke of male domination.

Yeah, but I'm also under the yoke of
white racism.

That makes me have a double yoke.

It isn't only the man's fault.

We women bring it on ourselves.

Oh, come on, honey. That's because we're
told right off the bat that we're

second class.

I mean, when does the new father hand
out cigars? When he has a boy.

That's right.

And did you ever see a girl join her
father in business?

You never heard tell of Sanford and
Dora.

So on, so on, so on.

Dora, when did you start smoking?

Well, it all...

him this morning, Carol.

My husband started it and her husband
clinched it. You know, men are no damn

good.

Probably a bad thief.

You know, the same gene that gives them
those little bald spots on the backs of

their heads.

Which is Mother Nature's way of getting
even.

Mother Nature, thank heaven she's a
woman.

That's probably my bald spot now.

Black mother, you too, Florida. I've got
a date. But we'll keep the car radio

tuned in to police calls.

Oh, hi, love.

Well, we just finished the old
inventory.

Your lips feel like thin slices of day
-old

liver.

Sorry about that, Walter, because day
-old liver lips are too good for you.

I suppose all this has something to do
with our talk this morning. Talk? What

talk? I don't remember any talk, Walter.
All I remember are orders. I absolutely

forbid it. That's that. Over and out. Do
you remember those words, Walter? Well,

so you never forget them, I am going to
have them hand -painted on your next

Christmas tie, which I shall probably be
sending from an adorable little tie

shop in Reno.

I have a charge there, Walter.

Lord, I had to stop you from getting
between Florida and a husband. I was

trying to protect you from yourself.

Thank you, Napoleon.

Now, look, Florida is my friend.

I will deal with her in my own way. And
if I make a mistake, it will be my own

mistake. And I do not want you, Walter,
under the benevolent guise of protection

to prevent me from making that mistake.

Now, Florida is going to stay here until
she solves her problem with her

husband. Is that clear?

Oh, yes, I understand.

You're going to make a fool of yourself,
and there's nothing I can do about it.

Now, what's for dinner?

Now, Walter, I'm now going to show you
the difference between us.

What's for dinner, you snarl?

And your little forked tongue darts out
of your little hairy mouth.

But because I am a woman, Walter,
without rancor, I am offering you a

dinner.

Chicken or roast beef?

Chicken or roast beef. That's nice.

I think I'll have the chicken.

Sweetheart, while I'm preparing dinner,
why don't you finish making your martini

and just relax?

Well, one for our side.

Here's your dinner, darling.

Walter, if you think that's a frozen
chicken, wait till you see what you find

bed tonight.

Over and out, Walter. Over and out.

You too?

I'm not going to inhale. He's not worth
it.

WPT, that's Henry.

You going to go out there?

Yeah.

But I'm going out.

CPT. I'm Henry Evans.

I'm Walter Finley. Come in.

Where's Florida? She's in the kitchen,
but I think you ought to know she

to stay over tonight.

Oh, not if I have anything to say about
it. Do you mind if I talk to her? Of

course not. Good.

Florida!

Why, Mr.

Evans, what a pleasant surprise. You
called?

Where's Florida?

Well, the last I saw of her, she had
resorted to smoking.

Because of you. She was puffing on a
cigarette.

A cigarette?

Well, tell her to drag her butt out
here.

Gutter humor titillates you, doesn't it?

Mr. Evans, you stay here with Ball,
Zach, while I convey your message.

I'll explain the whole thing to her, and
then she'll probably change her mind.

I've just spoken to Mrs. Evans.

And she wishes me to convey the message
to you that at this particular moment

she does not care to converse with you.
She requests instead that you bug off.

Well, Mrs. Evans said that, didn't she?

Well, I'm not leaving here until I talk
to her. Lord, I told you before that if

he wants his wife home with him, that's
his business.

Now, look, I'm not asking you to get out
of their lives any longer. I am

demanding it.

Walter, the last king in this country
was calm.

And he was shot off the Empire State
Building for being less of a drag than

are right now.

He was also a lot more attractive.

All right, Henry. I'm going to give you
two minutes to say I'm sorry and go

home. But when I go home, you go on with
me. And I'm not coming home until you

say out loud right here and right now.

that I'm keeping my job for two more
years. Tell her, Mr. Evans.

Maude, stay out of it. Florida, I got a
good mind to go right upside your head.

Now get your coat and come on.

What makes you think you can order me
around like that, Henry?

You're my wife. That gives me the right.

When he says wife, he means possession.

So what, Maude? You told me a hundred
times you want to feel possessed.

Walter Finley, I never said that
standing up and you know it.

are not supposed to be possessions,
Henry Evans.

Now, if you want me, you're going to
have to take me as your equal.

Lord, I never said nothing about you not
being my equal. Why do you want to run

all this civil rights jazz on me? This
ain't civil rights, Henry. It's woman's

rights. Woman's rights?

Boy, don't nobody ever want to talk
about men's rights. Out of sight, Henry.

Let's talk about it right now. Right on.

Isn't that adorable?

They found each other.

Yeah. Two peas in a pod.

One of them black -eyed.

I'll tell you something, Henry. There's
only one way to end this argument.

Florida, don't take this personally, but
you're fired.

Fired? You hear that, man? You are
something else.

All right, Florida, get your coat. Come
on now, let's go.

Don't listen to him. You are rehired
with a rain. And I'm firing you again.

Quick, get your coat, Florida. You're
rehired, Florida. Damn it, Florida,

too slow. So what am I now?

Employment service, they ain't gonna
believe this.

If she's fired, Walter, you might just
as well fire me as your wife.

You hear that, Henry?

We're busting up their marriage, and
it's all your fault.

All my fault. You hear that, Walter? All
I'm trying to do is get the same things

for my wife that your wife has, and
she's complaining.

I got news for you, Henry. When your
wife has everything my wife has, she'll

still complain.

All women. I tell you, I don't
understand them. But especially you

You sit up here in your nice world, and
instead of enjoying the things you got,

You're wearing yourself sick about some
women's rights.

Well, let me tell you, baby, I'm Ebony.

In the world I grew up in, a black man
couldn't even get a job. So the woman

went out and worked and supported the
family.

And quite as it's kept, none of us never
wanted it that way. And some of us

don't have to have it that way, like me.

Now, I got a J -O -B and a good one.

And if I have to work two jobs, then I
will, because I am no longer going to be

the husband of a black maid.

You people ain't gonna be sucked in by
that jive.

Florida, he knows what he's talking
about. He's black.

And what do you think I am, Sundance?

You ain't listening to a black problem
woman. You listening to a male ego.

Now, wait a minute, Florida.

Oh, Henry, you wait a minute.

Now, you hurt because of your pride, and
I love you for that.

But I also resent you for not being just
as proud of me as I am of you.

proud of you, Florida. It's just that I
don't want you to be a maid no more.

Them two don't go together, Henry.

Your mother was a maid. That's how your
brothers got through school and you got

to be a fireman. My grandmother was a
maid. That's how my daddy got a little

schooling. There are a lot of women,
Henry, on both sides of my family who

worked all their lives in white kitchens
so their kids could get some of the

things they should have.

You want to be proud of something,
Henry? You be proud of them, because

all black women. And I tell you, there
ain't never been a better woman than

that.

I'm going home now, Miss Finley. I'll
see you in the morning.

Right, Henry?

Tell you what.

So that I don't have to make this
decision by myself, I'm going to hold up

match. How many of you see it? One, you
know you can't do that trick. Oh, yeah,

wait a minute. You didn't know.

Hello,

Maude.

I guess we learned a big lesson tonight.

Oh, we sure did.

Regardless of race, color, or creed,
you're all a bunch of male chauvinist

Oh, what a beautiful morning.

Oh, what a beautiful day. Good morning,
Mrs. Finley.

You know, Florida, The wonderful thing
about fighting with Walter is that we

always reconcile afterwards.

And Florida, last night we had one of
the great reconciliations of all time.

Well, you can keep your reconciliation,
Mrs. Finley. With me and Henry, it's

forgive and forget.

And last night we had a forgive and I'll
never forget.

Maude was recorded on tape before a live
audience.