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Lady Godiva was a freedom rider.
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00:00:08,130 --> 00:00:11,030
She didn't care if the whole world
looked.
3
00:00:11,630 --> 00:00:14,850
Joan of Arc with the Lord to guide her.
4
00:00:15,050 --> 00:00:17,350
She was a sister who really could.
5
00:00:18,730 --> 00:00:23,750
Isadora was the first proper to answer
that she showed up.
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00:00:24,110 --> 00:00:25,330
Oh, yeah.
7
00:00:25,630 --> 00:00:27,690
And the country was falling apart.
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00:00:28,110 --> 00:00:30,390
Betsy Ross got it all sewed up.
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00:00:30,710 --> 00:00:32,210
And the dance floor.
10
00:00:32,490 --> 00:00:34,090
And then there's Maud.
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00:00:34,390 --> 00:00:39,810
And then there's Maud. And then there's
Maud. And then there's Maud. And then
12
00:00:39,810 --> 00:00:44,710
there's Maud. And then there's Maud.
That'll compromise and enterprise and
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00:00:44,710 --> 00:00:47,370
anything but tranquilize. Right on,
Maud.
14
00:00:54,370 --> 00:00:58,850
Dark is all work on the Mississippi.
15
00:01:00,250 --> 00:01:02,210
Dark is all work.
16
00:01:06,540 --> 00:01:09,400
I can't believe my ears. Did you hear
what you just said?
17
00:01:09,760 --> 00:01:13,660
You just sang, darkies all work on the
Mississippi.
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00:01:14,600 --> 00:01:17,900
They are not the words. We have new
words now.
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00:01:18,240 --> 00:01:19,240
Oh, yeah.
20
00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:21,280
Colored fools.
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00:01:23,940 --> 00:01:28,380
Lower it up. We do not say darkies. We
do not say colored folks. Everything has
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00:01:28,380 --> 00:01:33,780
changed. Now we say, here we all work on
the Mississippi. Here we all work while
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00:01:33,780 --> 00:01:35,120
the straw boss plays.
24
00:01:35,440 --> 00:01:36,540
Everything has changed.
25
00:01:36,840 --> 00:01:39,640
Yeah, except for one thing. Y 'all still
playing and we still working.
26
00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:46,260
Look, Florida, nothing racial. Would you
mind getting the telephone?
27
00:01:49,780 --> 00:01:52,160
Mother, what about that banner? It's not
hanging straight.
28
00:01:52,980 --> 00:01:54,960
Yeah, it does sag a little in the
middle.
29
00:01:55,530 --> 00:01:57,630
But then again, so does Walter. It's
good enough.
30
00:01:59,970 --> 00:02:02,630
Listen, what happened to all the silver?
You used to have a ton of it.
31
00:02:02,930 --> 00:02:06,270
Sweetie, don't you remember when I
divorced Albert, he got it in the
32
00:02:06,270 --> 00:02:08,650
settlement. What did Albert want with
the silver?
33
00:02:08,949 --> 00:02:10,810
What did I want with all those power
tools?
34
00:02:12,290 --> 00:02:15,110
A spite can be a terrible thing, Kathy.
35
00:02:16,310 --> 00:02:18,990
Mother, do you really expect people to
wear these silly things?
36
00:02:19,690 --> 00:02:23,290
Well, of course. Honey, Walter will love
it. He'll think it's his 10th birthday
37
00:02:23,290 --> 00:02:24,710
party instead of his 50th.
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00:02:25,730 --> 00:02:28,210
Anything to get him out of that blue
funk he's been in.
39
00:02:28,430 --> 00:02:32,190
Oh, sweetheart, Walter's only going
through what every man goes through when
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00:02:32,190 --> 00:02:33,190
reaches 50.
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00:02:33,230 --> 00:02:37,750
That sudden, horrible realization that
all those young girls hanging around the
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00:02:37,750 --> 00:02:38,850
schoolyard are teachers.
43
00:02:43,180 --> 00:02:44,019
That was Mr.
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00:02:44,020 --> 00:02:48,200
Crowley's office calling from Peoria.
Yeah. His plane got off on time, and
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00:02:48,200 --> 00:02:49,780
landing at LaGuardia at 5 .30.
46
00:02:50,080 --> 00:02:51,120
That's wonderful!
47
00:02:51,620 --> 00:02:54,380
Oh, what a surprise this is going to be,
Florida.
48
00:02:54,620 --> 00:02:58,800
Floyd Crowley. You know, he and Mr.
Findley were boyhood chums back in
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00:02:58,900 --> 00:03:01,120
They haven't seen each other in over 30
years.
50
00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:06,840
Oh, I must say that to pull off a
surprise like this, a wife really has to
51
00:03:06,840 --> 00:03:07,840
tip -top.
52
00:03:08,230 --> 00:03:13,550
Mrs. Finley, any woman with four
marriages ain't just tip -top, she's
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00:03:13,550 --> 00:03:14,550
pro.
54
00:03:19,630 --> 00:03:23,550
Anyway, it is the best birthday present
I could have gotten for Walter. Look
55
00:03:23,550 --> 00:03:26,730
what I got. I had this blown up from an
old snapshot.
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00:03:27,730 --> 00:03:31,530
The two of them, age 11, in Peoria.
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00:03:31,890 --> 00:03:35,330
Walter will die when he sees it. Which
one is Mr. Finley?
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00:03:35,920 --> 00:03:37,380
This one, the one with the runny nose.
59
00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:44,820
Oh, to think I always wanted to have a
little boy like that.
60
00:03:45,440 --> 00:03:46,660
And now I have one.
61
00:03:48,040 --> 00:03:49,920
And he's 50 years old.
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00:03:52,020 --> 00:03:54,920
Happy 50th birthday to you.
63
00:03:55,560 --> 00:04:00,240
Happy 50th birthday to you. Okay, come
on, Arthur. Now knock it off, will you?
64
00:04:02,040 --> 00:04:04,460
Now, Stan, give me a drink and make it
something appropriate.
65
00:04:05,160 --> 00:04:06,460
Like a shot of old granddad.
66
00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:10,300
Walter, it's only your birthday.
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00:04:10,520 --> 00:04:11,760
Only your birthday, huh?
68
00:04:12,240 --> 00:04:15,820
I think I'll look at this. I got this
birthday card in the mail this morning
69
00:04:15,820 --> 00:04:19,140
from my oldest friend, Floyd Crowley.
We've known each other since we were
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00:04:19,140 --> 00:04:20,839
eight. That's 42 years, Arthur.
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00:04:21,399 --> 00:04:22,480
42 years.
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00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:25,080
How could I know anybody 42 years?
73
00:04:26,760 --> 00:04:29,420
My father knows people 42 years.
74
00:04:30,160 --> 00:04:33,040
Arthur, I think I've turned into my
father.
75
00:04:34,220 --> 00:04:37,500
Walter. You're right. I mustn't be
morbid. I mustn't be morbid.
76
00:04:38,740 --> 00:04:40,740
Should I show you the old dead skin on
my knuckles?
77
00:04:42,100 --> 00:04:43,640
See how it stands up when I pull it?
78
00:04:44,480 --> 00:04:46,040
You have to snap right back, Arthur.
79
00:04:46,300 --> 00:04:47,500
There's no snap in it now.
80
00:04:47,980 --> 00:04:51,840
Walter, old pal, listen. I've also been
thinking about all the important things
81
00:04:51,840 --> 00:04:54,640
I swore I'd accomplish when I was in my
20s and 30s.
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00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:56,440
This morning I made a list of them.
83
00:04:56,840 --> 00:05:01,100
Arthur, did you ever make love to a
movie star?
84
00:05:01,920 --> 00:05:02,920
No.
85
00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:04,000
Not actually.
86
00:05:09,020 --> 00:05:10,020
Did you, Walter?
87
00:05:10,260 --> 00:05:12,420
No, just another dream that went up in
smoke.
88
00:05:13,780 --> 00:05:17,100
Like my plans to live in Paris for two
years and my glider pilot lesson.
89
00:05:17,340 --> 00:05:18,340
Oh, thanks, Sam.
90
00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:21,340
Listen, old pal, you've got to snap out
of this. You're carrying on as if you
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00:05:21,340 --> 00:05:22,239
were ancient.
92
00:05:22,240 --> 00:05:23,540
Actually, you're still a young man.
93
00:05:23,780 --> 00:05:24,559
I am.
94
00:05:24,560 --> 00:05:26,180
Certainly. Except for your knuckles.
95
00:05:28,920 --> 00:05:30,300
Well, you're in the prime of life.
96
00:05:31,370 --> 00:05:34,450
Not young enough to beat that lousy bum
Tommy Hollander on Saturday.
97
00:05:34,850 --> 00:05:35,850
Tommy Hollander?
98
00:05:35,970 --> 00:05:37,230
Yeah, we're both in a tournament.
99
00:05:37,530 --> 00:05:41,150
And I gotta beat that miserable cheater
if it's the last thing I do. Walter, you
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00:05:41,150 --> 00:05:44,370
can't play Tommy Hollander. What do you
mean I can't play Tommy Hollander? He
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00:05:44,370 --> 00:05:45,370
died, Walter.
102
00:05:47,370 --> 00:05:50,170
He keeled over yesterday, just like that
on the 14th hole.
103
00:05:51,690 --> 00:05:53,810
That poor sweet guy.
104
00:05:55,270 --> 00:05:56,730
Poor old Tommy.
105
00:05:56,990 --> 00:05:58,110
Yeah, poor old Tommy.
106
00:05:58,670 --> 00:06:00,030
Would have been 48 next month.
107
00:06:02,890 --> 00:06:03,990
Two years younger than you.
108
00:06:05,790 --> 00:06:08,830
What was it, Arthur? A heart attack?
Yeah, a beauty. Never knew what hit him.
109
00:06:11,230 --> 00:06:14,810
I didn't know he had heart trouble. He
didn't until yesterday on the 14th
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00:06:17,010 --> 00:06:18,350
Right after his chip shot.
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00:06:19,650 --> 00:06:23,070
He was sitting right here and he told me
he had a complete physical checkup.
112
00:06:24,010 --> 00:06:27,170
EKG, chest x -ray, stomach x -ray, the
whole ball of wax.
113
00:06:27,660 --> 00:06:28,980
Got a clean bill of health.
114
00:06:29,460 --> 00:06:30,540
Case or us are up.
115
00:06:32,360 --> 00:06:35,620
And you said 50's the prime of life. It
is, if you reach it.
116
00:06:38,360 --> 00:06:41,920
You know, someone once said, a man is
not old if he's still seeking something.
117
00:06:42,300 --> 00:06:45,200
Now, there must be something you're
still seeking, Walter. Not anymore,
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00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:47,680
I'll never be a glider pilot now.
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00:06:48,560 --> 00:06:51,300
And I'll never be half of a vaudeville
team either. Are you going into
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00:06:51,300 --> 00:06:52,300
vaudeville, Walter?
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00:06:52,619 --> 00:06:57,480
Oh, wait a minute. Me and my childhood
pal, Floyd Crowley, we put this act
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00:06:57,480 --> 00:07:01,980
together when we were 12 years old. You
should have seen it, Arthur. We sang and
123
00:07:01,980 --> 00:07:03,540
had movements for every word.
124
00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:09,980
There's an old spinning wheel in the
parlor
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00:07:09,980 --> 00:07:16,740
Spinning dreams of a long, long ago
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00:07:16,740 --> 00:07:17,960
That's lovely, Walter.
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00:07:20,580 --> 00:07:21,600
I'll see you at the party.
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00:07:22,170 --> 00:07:23,170
God willing.
129
00:07:28,190 --> 00:07:34,570
Spinning dreams of an old -fashioned
garden
130
00:07:34,570 --> 00:07:41,130
And a maid with an
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00:07:41,130 --> 00:07:44,950
old -fashioned boy
132
00:07:55,440 --> 00:07:56,440
I do, don't I?
133
00:07:58,980 --> 00:08:03,740
Oh, this is going to be the most
wonderful birthday party ever.
134
00:08:04,460 --> 00:08:08,640
Mrs. Finley, before I forget, here's a
little something to put with the other
135
00:08:08,640 --> 00:08:09,660
gifts for Mr. Finley.
136
00:08:09,900 --> 00:08:13,560
Oh, Florida, how terribly sweet.
137
00:08:14,500 --> 00:08:18,380
No, I can't tell you how touched and
gratified I am that you feel comfortable
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00:08:18,380 --> 00:08:20,280
enough with us to want to exchange
gifts.
139
00:08:20,820 --> 00:08:24,360
I mean, what with all the bitterness
and... strife between the races today.
140
00:08:24,580 --> 00:08:28,580
Mrs. Finley, please, don't make me
regret my generous impulse.
141
00:08:31,100 --> 00:08:34,480
That was shaping up to be one of my
better statements on World Brothers.
142
00:08:36,460 --> 00:08:40,880
That must be Floyd Crowley from Peoria,
but Walter isn't even here yet. Go back,
143
00:08:40,940 --> 00:08:43,280
finish the canapes. Carol, better go up
and change.
144
00:08:43,520 --> 00:08:44,860
I'm coming. I'm going.
145
00:08:49,120 --> 00:08:50,580
Oh, Terry.
146
00:08:51,520 --> 00:08:52,520
God. willing.
147
00:08:56,850 --> 00:08:58,510
Why didn't you use your key?
148
00:09:00,090 --> 00:09:02,310
Because I felt like ringing our
doorbell.
149
00:09:03,390 --> 00:09:05,050
I never rang our doorbell.
150
00:09:05,930 --> 00:09:08,250
Now I have, and it's over.
151
00:09:09,570 --> 00:09:11,130
Forget the doorbell.
152
00:09:11,450 --> 00:09:14,390
Sweetheart, it's your birthday. You can
ring my bell.
153
00:09:17,150 --> 00:09:18,150
Please.
154
00:09:18,590 --> 00:09:20,690
Walter, is there something wrong?
155
00:09:21,070 --> 00:09:23,760
No. It's just that I have this tight
feeling in my chest.
156
00:09:24,840 --> 00:09:28,100
Now, look, darling, you are not going to
have gas for your birthday.
157
00:09:30,960 --> 00:09:33,060
But not with 18 guests coming.
158
00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:37,000
Mort, I'm 50 years old, half a century.
159
00:09:37,260 --> 00:09:41,380
Oh, I know, darling. I know exactly how
you feel.
160
00:09:43,120 --> 00:09:45,260
Come sit with Mommy a moment.
161
00:09:47,720 --> 00:09:48,720
Yes, sweetheart.
162
00:09:49,610 --> 00:09:51,990
I want you to remember that you're not
alone.
163
00:09:52,790 --> 00:09:54,610
Do you remember what Robert Browning
wrote?
164
00:09:55,550 --> 00:09:57,690
Grow old along with me.
165
00:09:58,290 --> 00:10:00,510
The better it is yet to be.
166
00:10:00,930 --> 00:10:02,730
Now, what does that mean to you,
sweetheart?
167
00:10:04,870 --> 00:10:06,830
Did I show you the skin on my knuckles?
168
00:10:08,570 --> 00:10:10,110
See how it doesn't snap back?
169
00:10:10,770 --> 00:10:12,990
Look at this, Maude. Look at this
chicken neck.
170
00:10:14,630 --> 00:10:16,010
Here I am trying...
171
00:10:16,370 --> 00:10:19,830
desperately to bring you out of your
despondency with love and affection and
172
00:10:19,830 --> 00:10:22,010
kindness, and what do I get for it? A
chicken neck.
173
00:10:23,190 --> 00:10:27,130
Now, listen to me, Walter Findley. I am
not going to let you wallow in your own
174
00:10:27,130 --> 00:10:29,670
self -pity. Please, Maude, let me
wallow.
175
00:10:31,070 --> 00:10:35,130
Walter, you have to get used to the idea
of being 50 years old. I've had it up
176
00:10:35,130 --> 00:10:39,130
to here with your morbidness. But I
haven't.
177
00:10:39,350 --> 00:10:42,050
I used to listen to you when you started
with your hot flashes.
178
00:10:45,100 --> 00:10:46,580
hot flash for you right now.
179
00:10:48,620 --> 00:10:50,120
Happy birthday, Walter.
180
00:10:52,860 --> 00:10:56,360
Carol, Florida, birthday boy's here.
181
00:10:56,580 --> 00:11:00,580
I'm not going to wear this hat. You're
going to wear it. You're like a damn
182
00:11:00,580 --> 00:11:01,580
fool.
183
00:11:01,720 --> 00:11:04,820
Wonderful. You're beginning to feel like
your old self again.
184
00:11:06,260 --> 00:11:09,560
Did Walter's surprise arrive?
185
00:11:09,940 --> 00:11:11,260
Surprise? What surprise?
186
00:11:14,090 --> 00:11:18,930
Walter, it is something very special. It
is something that is going to just lift
187
00:11:18,930 --> 00:11:23,330
you right up out of that cellar, isn't
it, girls? Yes. What is it? I can't.
188
00:11:23,770 --> 00:11:25,090
That's probably it now.
189
00:11:25,590 --> 00:11:29,550
It is, girls. Let's leave him alone.
Look, Walter, you answer the door
190
00:11:29,890 --> 00:11:30,970
It's your surprise.
191
00:11:31,330 --> 00:11:35,450
Just yell, yell, come in. Darling, it's
my birthday present to you.
192
00:11:38,210 --> 00:11:39,210
Come in.
193
00:11:43,950 --> 00:11:45,230
Excuse me, I was looking for Walter.
194
00:11:49,170 --> 00:11:50,170
Walter?
195
00:11:51,790 --> 00:11:52,910
Walter Finley?
196
00:11:55,170 --> 00:11:56,170
Floyd?
197
00:11:58,490 --> 00:12:00,550
Floyd Crowley?
198
00:12:01,510 --> 00:12:03,310
There's an old...
199
00:12:51,660 --> 00:12:52,479
30 years.
200
00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:56,620
No, so they weren't really that close,
but I'm sure he was a lovely individual.
201
00:12:57,080 --> 00:12:59,640
Hi. Oh, hi, darling. I'm on the phone to
Peoria.
202
00:13:00,640 --> 00:13:02,020
You were saying, Mr. Sheridan?
203
00:13:03,620 --> 00:13:06,960
Yes, yes, we were aware that Floyd had
no family.
204
00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:11,840
Yeah, no, I think it's just lovely of
your local VFW to take care of the
205
00:13:11,840 --> 00:13:15,440
arrangements. Oh, by the way, did Floyd
arrive at the airport all right?
206
00:13:17,080 --> 00:13:18,500
Oh, that's too bad.
207
00:13:19,240 --> 00:13:21,720
What happened? No, Floyd arrived, but
his luggage was lost.
208
00:13:24,940 --> 00:13:27,980
Well, the important thing is that Floyd
arrived safe and sound.
209
00:13:29,800 --> 00:13:32,340
Nice talking to you, Mr. Sheridan. Bye
-bye.
210
00:13:33,700 --> 00:13:38,260
Oh, Carol, have we ever managed to live
through these past three days? I will
211
00:13:38,260 --> 00:13:39,119
never know.
212
00:13:39,120 --> 00:13:42,740
How's Walter? Did he go to work? Work?
He won't even phone the store.
213
00:13:43,560 --> 00:13:47,060
Three days now, he's been sitting up
there, staring at the walls, muttering
214
00:13:47,060 --> 00:13:49,440
things like, the moving finger writes.
215
00:13:52,340 --> 00:13:56,280
Carol, I feel so guilty. It's all my
fault. Mother, you can't blame yourself.
216
00:13:56,380 --> 00:13:57,900
What you tried to do was lovely.
217
00:13:58,520 --> 00:14:02,800
Look, you brought Floyd Crowley up here
to cheer Walter up. Something tells me
218
00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:03,800
it didn't work.
219
00:14:05,440 --> 00:14:09,780
Oh, if there were only something we
could do, the man is drowning in self
220
00:14:09,900 --> 00:14:11,380
Carol. I mean, there must be...
221
00:14:11,720 --> 00:14:14,220
Don't look now, but I think that's
Walter coming down the stairs.
222
00:14:17,920 --> 00:14:20,460
Is it Walter or the ghost of Christmas
past?
223
00:14:23,020 --> 00:14:28,220
Oh, Walter. Walter, I'm so glad you're
feeling better. Darling, I can't tell
224
00:14:28,220 --> 00:14:30,700
how nice it is to see you downstairs
again.
225
00:14:31,580 --> 00:14:32,580
Philip.
226
00:14:32,940 --> 00:14:34,580
What about Philip, dear? Philip!
227
00:14:35,060 --> 00:14:38,100
He's outside, Walter. Sweetheart, do you
want to talk to Philip? I don't
228
00:14:38,100 --> 00:14:39,100
understand. Philip!
229
00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:42,660
Walter, you haven't spoken to me for
over 24 hours. Philip!
230
00:14:48,320 --> 00:14:50,180
We only pass this way once.
231
00:14:51,800 --> 00:14:56,800
But before I go, there's one great truth
I'd like to teach you.
232
00:14:58,140 --> 00:14:59,940
Now, where were you at 6 o 'clock this
morning?
233
00:15:00,420 --> 00:15:01,420
In the bathroom.
234
00:15:01,880 --> 00:15:02,880
Good.
235
00:15:03,880 --> 00:15:06,740
The house is very quiet at 6 a .m.,
Philip.
236
00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:08,480
And the walls are very thin.
237
00:15:09,260 --> 00:15:14,780
That means, Philip, if you don't want to
wake up a tired old man, try for the
238
00:15:14,780 --> 00:15:16,880
side of the bowl, not the water.
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00:15:23,900 --> 00:15:30,180
Now, Philip,
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00:15:30,360 --> 00:15:32,080
repeat after me.
241
00:15:33,360 --> 00:15:38,380
When water falls on water, it makes a
sound that all can hear.
242
00:15:44,940 --> 00:15:49,240
But when it's sprayed on porcelain, it
falls silent to the ears.
243
00:15:52,340 --> 00:15:53,340
You understand?
244
00:15:53,960 --> 00:15:56,580
When it's sprayed on porcelain... That's
very good, very good.
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00:15:57,020 --> 00:16:03,340
Now run along and play. And Philip, run
around the bases once for your old
246
00:16:03,340 --> 00:16:05,320
grandpa. Okay, Gramps.
247
00:16:10,300 --> 00:16:12,820
Walter, what did you say to the boy?
248
00:16:13,900 --> 00:16:15,640
Man talk. You wouldn't understand.
249
00:16:16,660 --> 00:16:20,800
Walter, we are going to have this out
right now. Carol, do you mind?
250
00:16:21,140 --> 00:16:22,140
No, of course not.
251
00:16:25,540 --> 00:16:31,160
Walter, if there's anything I can do...
Just don't waste your life, Carol.
252
00:16:31,360 --> 00:16:35,440
Carol, while there's still time, go out
there and run around the bases once for
253
00:16:35,440 --> 00:16:36,440
Walter.
254
00:16:40,140 --> 00:16:41,140
Okay, Walter?
255
00:16:42,420 --> 00:16:43,420
Talk to me.
256
00:16:45,230 --> 00:16:47,870
There's an old spinning wheel.
257
00:16:48,390 --> 00:16:49,910
Walter, cut that out!
258
00:16:50,310 --> 00:16:54,250
Now, look, I feel just as bad about
Floyd as you do. But, darling, what
259
00:16:54,250 --> 00:16:59,270
to Floyd is as much a part of life as
living. You have to expect these things
260
00:16:59,270 --> 00:17:01,950
you grow older. Walter, I've had it. I
can't take it anymore.
261
00:17:02,230 --> 00:17:05,690
You're not the only man on earth who's
growing older. Oh, yeah? And how about
262
00:17:05,690 --> 00:17:06,690
this chicken neck?
263
00:17:07,609 --> 00:17:10,010
Walter, please stop torturing yourself.
264
00:17:10,390 --> 00:17:11,390
Listen, darling.
265
00:17:11,640 --> 00:17:17,040
I have seen pictures of you when you
were 20 and 30 years old. Walter, you
266
00:17:17,040 --> 00:17:20,500
better looking now than you were then.
Now, what do you think about that?
267
00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:25,460
Maude, middle -aged people always look
better to other middle -aged people.
268
00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:29,700
That's all that keeps us from killing
ourselves.
269
00:17:30,860 --> 00:17:35,200
Walter, what are you talking about,
darling? You are better looking now than
270
00:17:35,200 --> 00:17:37,820
were. I swear it. And so am I, Walter.
271
00:17:41,740 --> 00:17:43,360
I said, and so am I, Walter.
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00:17:48,180 --> 00:17:49,300
God'll get you for this.
273
00:17:54,420 --> 00:17:55,420
Hi, Marty.
274
00:17:55,560 --> 00:17:59,300
Hi, Walter. I was laughing, boy. I'm so
glad you're here, Arthur. Walter, look,
275
00:17:59,420 --> 00:18:03,700
if you won't talk to me, talk to Arthur.
He's your closest friend. Talk to him,
276
00:18:03,740 --> 00:18:07,200
darling. Tell him what's gnawing at you,
what's eating you up alive.
277
00:18:08,560 --> 00:18:13,100
You said that a man is not old as long
as he is seeking something. I don't know
278
00:18:13,100 --> 00:18:14,100
what I'm seeking.
279
00:18:14,340 --> 00:18:16,260
I don't know if there's anything left to
seek.
280
00:18:16,640 --> 00:18:18,720
It's too late to be a glider pilot.
281
00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:21,500
Walter, where are you going?
282
00:18:21,820 --> 00:18:24,820
Going upstairs to pack. I've got to be
by myself.
283
00:18:27,560 --> 00:18:29,980
Walter. Walter, help me.
284
00:18:31,680 --> 00:18:33,580
Well, Maude, you know what's bothering
Walter, don't you?
285
00:18:34,260 --> 00:18:36,440
For the first time, he's facing his own
mortality.
286
00:18:37,240 --> 00:18:38,440
He's afraid, Maude.
287
00:18:39,060 --> 00:18:42,200
And the only thing that'll counteract
the fear of death is life.
288
00:18:42,680 --> 00:18:43,720
And how do we do that?
289
00:18:44,280 --> 00:18:45,280
With love.
290
00:18:45,300 --> 00:18:49,820
Oh, come on, Arthur. He already has
that. He knows I love him. Of course he
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00:18:49,820 --> 00:18:52,540
does. I'm not just talking about your
spiritual love, though, Maude.
292
00:18:52,900 --> 00:18:57,080
I'm talking about your, uh, physical
relationship.
293
00:18:57,880 --> 00:18:58,880
Oh, that.
294
00:19:00,160 --> 00:19:03,220
Oh, Arthur, the things I could tell you
if you were a woman doctor.
295
00:19:06,410 --> 00:19:07,630
From another town.
296
00:19:11,410 --> 00:19:15,150
I'm only trying to help, Maude. Arthur,
let me put it this way.
297
00:19:15,770 --> 00:19:20,910
For the past two weeks, if Walt Disney
had a camera at the foot of our bed,
298
00:19:21,010 --> 00:19:25,730
there is no scene that couldn't be shown
uncut in front of the Mouseketeers.
299
00:19:28,250 --> 00:19:34,030
I understand, Maude.
300
00:19:34,410 --> 00:19:38,050
But, you know, I've been reading up
on... Sex research, Master and Johnson.
301
00:19:38,430 --> 00:19:42,270
And, you know, they put a great deal of
emphasis on the simple act of touching.
302
00:19:43,990 --> 00:19:46,670
Touching? Yes, not in the erotic sense,
Martin.
303
00:19:47,110 --> 00:19:53,190
I mean, hugging, caressing, using
physical gentleness to break through the
304
00:19:53,190 --> 00:19:54,570
defenses of a withdrawn person.
305
00:19:55,990 --> 00:19:56,990
Touching.
306
00:19:57,830 --> 00:19:59,010
I'll try it, Arthur.
307
00:19:59,210 --> 00:20:00,910
I mean, I'll try anything.
308
00:20:01,410 --> 00:20:02,329
It could work.
309
00:20:02,330 --> 00:20:03,330
Thank you, Arthur.
310
00:20:04,990 --> 00:20:10,270
Don't quote me on this, but sometimes
you're a real sweet guy.
311
00:20:11,790 --> 00:20:13,590
You see? You see? You're touching me.
312
00:20:14,290 --> 00:20:15,750
You broke through my defenses.
313
00:20:18,210 --> 00:20:19,470
By golly, it works!
314
00:20:25,230 --> 00:20:26,990
I'm going to see Walter now.
315
00:20:46,410 --> 00:20:47,410
I want to touch you.
316
00:20:49,530 --> 00:20:53,190
What? I'm trying to pack. Where are my
socks? Walter, come on. This is me. I
317
00:20:53,190 --> 00:20:57,830
only want to touch you. The last thing
in the world. The last thing I want is
318
00:20:57,830 --> 00:20:59,710
be touched. I don't want my skin
touched.
319
00:21:00,070 --> 00:21:01,250
Then let me touch your teeth.
320
00:21:04,410 --> 00:21:07,850
I don't want the tip of your finger on
any part of my person. I don't want to
321
00:21:07,850 --> 00:21:09,650
touched here or here or here.
322
00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:16,440
Especially not there.
323
00:21:19,620 --> 00:21:21,480
Can't you get it through your head? I
don't want to be touched.
324
00:21:21,800 --> 00:21:22,940
I want to be alone.
325
00:21:23,340 --> 00:21:24,340
You want to be alone?
326
00:21:24,940 --> 00:21:27,320
Is that what you want, Walter? You want
to be alone?
327
00:21:27,740 --> 00:21:31,820
All right, then be alone, because I want
to be alone, too.
328
00:21:33,280 --> 00:21:35,520
Where are you going? How do I know? I'm
not there yet.
329
00:21:37,240 --> 00:21:40,640
But I am going someplace, Walter, and I
am going to have fun.
330
00:21:41,060 --> 00:21:43,640
All right, go ahead. Go ahead. See if I
care. Of course you don't care.
331
00:21:43,870 --> 00:21:45,930
You don't care about me. All you care
about is you.
332
00:21:46,770 --> 00:21:51,610
Lord, I am 50 years old. And boring,
Walter.
333
00:21:52,510 --> 00:21:54,610
But let me tell you something, buddy
boy.
334
00:21:54,810 --> 00:21:58,330
You are not 50. You are 50 and three
days.
335
00:21:58,690 --> 00:22:02,290
Three days closer to the Grim Reaper,
old buddy.
336
00:22:12,970 --> 00:22:13,970
that negligee for?
337
00:22:14,130 --> 00:22:15,650
Might be cold where I'm going.
338
00:22:19,870 --> 00:22:23,990
Come on, Lord. I just bought that for,
you know, for special occasions. Yeah,
339
00:22:23,990 --> 00:22:26,670
well, one never knows when she's going
to run into a special occasion.
340
00:22:27,630 --> 00:22:30,730
Now, wait a minute. No, you wait a
minute.
341
00:22:31,110 --> 00:22:36,170
I am very sorry, Walter Findlay, that
you had to find out on your 50th
342
00:22:36,170 --> 00:22:40,690
that you are a mere mortal. But it is
not the end of the world. Now, take my
343
00:22:40,690 --> 00:22:41,690
suitcase downstairs.
344
00:22:41,840 --> 00:22:43,260
I never said it was the end of the
world.
345
00:22:43,460 --> 00:22:47,160
I said I have to think about the few
remaining years I have left.
346
00:22:47,380 --> 00:22:50,340
Then by all means, think about them,
Walter. Think about them.
347
00:22:50,680 --> 00:22:54,180
Wallow in them. Do everything but live
them. Now take my suitcase downstairs.
348
00:22:54,540 --> 00:22:55,760
You want your suitcase downstairs?
349
00:22:56,160 --> 00:22:57,780
You want your suitcase downstairs?
350
00:23:01,100 --> 00:23:02,400
There. It's downstairs.
351
00:23:36,080 --> 00:23:38,540
Do you want to understand me, Walter?
352
00:23:38,940 --> 00:23:39,940
Sure.
353
00:23:40,620 --> 00:23:42,440
I'd like to even understand myself.
354
00:23:43,860 --> 00:23:45,900
Darling, you said it yourself.
355
00:23:46,200 --> 00:23:49,780
A man is not old as long as he's still
seeking something.
356
00:23:50,100 --> 00:23:54,920
Walter, if we both lived to be a
thousand, I'd still want to know more
357
00:23:54,920 --> 00:23:55,920
you.
358
00:23:56,280 --> 00:23:57,720
The same for me, Mort.
359
00:23:58,720 --> 00:24:02,080
Then there is something left to seek,
isn't there?
360
00:24:06,730 --> 00:24:09,810
And, Walter, we're touching.
361
00:24:12,630 --> 00:24:14,570
A whole lot we're touching.
362
00:24:20,250 --> 00:24:21,570
What are you laughing about?
363
00:24:21,830 --> 00:24:24,690
I don't know what made me think of it,
but I just thought of this old riddle
364
00:24:24,690 --> 00:24:26,770
Floyd and I used to do. A riddle?
365
00:24:26,990 --> 00:24:28,870
Yeah. What has one eye?
366
00:24:29,090 --> 00:24:30,810
Yeah. Sticks out its tongue?
367
00:24:31,050 --> 00:24:33,610
Yeah. And loves to make love?
368
00:24:34,790 --> 00:24:35,990
I know the answer.
369
00:24:44,460 --> 00:24:45,500
Happy birthday, Walter.
370
00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:00,420
Walter, just think.
371
00:25:01,960 --> 00:25:06,500
You're 50, and I'm 47. Do you know what
that means?
372
00:25:07,400 --> 00:25:09,020
Do you know what that means, Walter?
373
00:25:09,900 --> 00:25:13,040
In three years, you'll be 53.
374
00:25:14,190 --> 00:25:15,450
And I'll be 44.
375
00:25:46,280 --> 00:25:49,140
Maud was recorded on tape before a live
audience.
31152
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