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Lady Godiva was a freedom rider.
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She didn't care if the whole world
looked.
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Joan of Arc with the Lord to guide her.
She was a sister who really could.
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Isadora was the first proper to answer
that she showed up.
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Oh, yeah.
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When the country was falling apart,
Betsy Ross got it all sewed up.
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And then there's Maud.
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And then there's Maud. And then there's
Maud. And then there's Maud. And then
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there's Maud. And then there's Maud.
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That uncompromising, enterprising,
anything but tranquilizing. Okay,
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friends, now hear this.
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I have tried everything I know with you.
I have tried patience, kindness,
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sweetness.
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Let's face it. You plants haven't grown
an eighth of an inch in six weeks.
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Now listen to me, guys. You're going to
shape up or ship out.
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I read all the latest magazines, current
books. They all say talk to you, so I'm
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talking to you.
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And you.
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I said things to you last night I
haven't said to four husbands.
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Mother, do you know what's going on?
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Mother, there's a black man outside
walking up and down the property
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Picketing what?
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Us. He says we're slumlords.
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Slumlords? That's what his sign says. A
slumlord lives here. Oh, come on, Carol.
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Don't be ridiculous. Do you know what a
slumlord is?
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A slumlord is somebody who owns one of
those terrible buildings in places like
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Harlem where they cram hundreds of
people into a building and dozens of
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into two rooms and 60 people have to use
one john.
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I mean, don't tell me that a slumlord
lives here or that there's a black man
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there picketing.
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Carol, there's a black man out there
picketing.
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There must be some mistake.
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A terrible mistake. If a slumlord lives
here, I'll eat him.
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Well, do you want to start with Walter's
hat or with his shoes?
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Walter? Yes, that man said he lives in a
slum tenement on River Street that was
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just bought by a new group of investors,
a syndicate. Walter Findlay is a member
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of that syndicate.
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Walter Findlay? My Walter Findlay? Oh,
come on, Carol, don't be ridiculous. You
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mean not my Walter Findlay. I mean
somebody else's.
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My Walter Findlay!
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Yes, dear.
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Drop your socks, grab your pants, and
get down here.
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about that picket. I've got to take
Philip to school. Philip!
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Hurry, honey, you'll be late for school.
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I'll take him out the back way. Listen,
honey, let him scrunch way down deep in
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the Volkswagen.
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I don't want him to see that picket. Oh,
look, Philip, honey, there's a new game
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your mother's going to teach you. It's
called scrunch. You get laid down in the
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back.
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Scrunch, scrunch.
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Walter, Walter, listen.
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There is a black man outside our door
picketing with a sign that says a
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lives here. A slumlord? And he means
you.
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How can you say that, Maud?
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Do you know what a slumlord is? Now, how
could I be a slumlord? You couldn't.
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You couldn't, Walter. I know it's all a
terrible mistake, and I know you'll be
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able to explain it very easily and in
just a few seconds. Your time's up,
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Walter.
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What? There is a black man out there
picketing, Walter.
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See for yourself.
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There is a man out there. It must be a
mistake. I'll throw him off the
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He's black.
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I'll lift him off gently.
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a slumlord.
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Walter, did you buy into a building on
River Street?
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River Street?
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Yeah, the Riverview deal.
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Wait a minute. Mike Taupin put us into
that. You're a slumlord, Walter.
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Oh, you'll live with a man intimately
for four years. You share his every
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confidence and suddenly zap.
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You find you're married to a total
stranger.
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What? Don't talk to strangers.
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But, Lord!
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The Riverview deal is a tenement.
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Yeah, but I didn't know that.
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I mean, Tobin says it's a good deal, so
a bunch of us go into it. We don't ask
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any question. We just sign the papers,
and that's that. Now, who knew that the
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building was... Now you know, Walter.
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Everything we stand for is going right
down the drain. A black man is actually
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standing outside our door picketing. I
mean, I can't believe it. It must be...
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It all seems like a dream.
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Pinch me. Oh, come on. Hi, gang.
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Hey, that's a heck of a new lawn
decoration you got out there.
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It's so much more... made it in those
little colored jockeys.
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I see you're here, Arthur. Where's the
front end of the horse?
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Arthur, don't be funny.
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I didn't know I was buying into a slum
building.
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Oh, come on, Walter. You don't have to
alibi to me.
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I know you're trying to make a fast
buck.
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I'm aware of the fact that it's a dog
-eat -dog world out there. And I'd love
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feed you to a St. Bernard.
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Hello? Yes, hello, Vivian.
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Thank you, darling. Yes. Thank you for
being the first one to bring me the ugly
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news. I knew I could count on a friend.
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Vivian says we're the talk of the
supermarket, and the Riley's down the
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are flying their flag at half -mast.
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I'll call Tobin and see if he can get me
out of this thing.
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Don't be so hard on yourselves.
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Maude, you don't understand these deals.
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A man invests a tenement and pays taxes
on the profits.
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Now, those taxes are used to help tear
down tenements and build new buildings,
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which turn into tenements. And then the
cycle starts all over again.
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That's business.
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Arthur Harmon.
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You have just described the lowest, most
despicable, most unsavory type of
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businessman this country has.
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You just described Walter.
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Tobin's not in. I'll have to call him
later.
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I still think you people ought to take
my advice and call the police.
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After all, that's what they get paid
for, to protect you slumlords.
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Walter, there's only one thing to do.
You have to go outside, talk to that
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picket, and convince him to leave.
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You're the convincing one. You talk to
him. I'm too ashamed, Walter.
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Look, Howard Hughes, maybe you'll
understand it better if I put it in
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terms. As long as that picket is outside
the door, Walter, I wouldn't give you
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two cents for your love life.
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Was you calling me?
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Yeah. I thought so, because I'm the only
one out here.
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Will you come in for a moment?
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You ain't got a big dog, have you?
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No. No dog.
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There ain't gonna be no violence.
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Of course not. I hate violence. I do,
too.
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Especially when I'm in an all -white
neighborhood.
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This is nice.
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How many people live here?
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Four. No, I mean in a whole house.
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Four.
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My name is Walter Findley. Yes, I know.
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Mine's George Washington Carver
Williams.
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You were named after a great man.
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No, I was named after my father.
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He didn't amount to much at all.
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Have a seat, Mr. Williams.
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Here, there.
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Right here. Oh, thank you.
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Mr. Williams, can I be very direct with
you? So long as you don't hit me.
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I told you I hate violence. I know, but
it bears repeating.
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00:08:02,110 --> 00:08:05,910
Mr. Williams, can we talk about 401
River Street specifically?
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00:08:06,430 --> 00:08:08,570
Now, what's wrong with that building?
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Just two things. The inside and the
outside.
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Let me put it this way.
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I saw your daughter drying off this
morning at school in a Volkswagen with
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top of your grandson's head.
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The one thing is, we got one cockroach
at 401 River Street that's bigger than
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that Volkswagen.
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00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:35,780
Walter, I thought you might... Oh, I
didn't know we had company.
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Would you like some coffee, Mr. Pickett?
Thank you.
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Walter, I hope that you spoke to Mr.
Williams and explained to him that it
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really is all a terrible mistake and
that in our hearts we are very much with
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you and your people. I mean, did you
explain that to him? Does he understand
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Do you understand that? Oh, I understand
that.
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00:09:01,980 --> 00:09:03,460
But you're slumlords.
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Mr. Williams, you have to understand the
way these things happen. Yeah.
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You see...
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In my income tax bracket... Yeah, well,
she isn't all that high.
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That's right.
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That's right. It's not all that high.
But it's hard in that aspects.
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Maybe. That's possible. I think it is.
Well, anyway... People in my
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income tax bracket... It's our income
tax bracket. Our income tax bracket, we
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look for what is called...
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A tax shelter. Tax shelter.
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A tax shelter.
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We invest money in what we call
shelters. Shelters.
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We call them tenements.
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No.
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00:09:55,430 --> 00:09:56,810
No, you don't understand.
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When I say shelter, I don't mean a
building. He doesn't mean a building. I
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00:10:01,370 --> 00:10:02,370
mean a building, no.
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I mean a way of using money. Yeah.
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So that the government can't tax it. The
government can't tax it. Oh, you're
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talking about stealing.
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No offense, ma 'am. I mean legal
stealing.
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00:10:19,550 --> 00:10:21,610
We ain't got some black people doing it
now.
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That's progress.
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00:10:32,670 --> 00:10:35,490
that people like us get into. We get
into these arrangements.
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We never know what they are. We never
know.
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00:10:37,850 --> 00:10:41,410
We never, never know. Do you know? We
never know. I don't know. I mean, right
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now, we don't.
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We never know what they are. Never.
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00:10:44,130 --> 00:10:45,130
We never know.
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We don't know what they are.
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And we think we got problems.
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I better be getting back to work.
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Oh, but Mr. Williams. Mr. Williams.
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You got some lovely plants here.
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00:11:02,630 --> 00:11:06,910
You know, if you talk real nice to them,
they'll grow real special.
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00:11:07,690 --> 00:11:09,470
We can't grow no plants at our place.
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00:11:10,510 --> 00:11:11,710
The bugs get them.
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00:11:12,510 --> 00:11:14,370
But we talk to cockroaches, though.
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00:11:15,110 --> 00:11:18,430
And we get results that are staggered to
imagination.
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00:11:20,570 --> 00:11:22,870
Tell them, Mr. Finley. Tell me why.
193
00:11:23,110 --> 00:11:25,810
They got one roach there that's bigger
than Carol's Volkswagen.
194
00:11:27,040 --> 00:11:28,680
What are we going to do?
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00:11:28,920 --> 00:11:30,940
Go on upstairs, Philip. I'll be there in
a minute.
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00:11:31,280 --> 00:11:33,760
Carol, what's the matter now? What is
Philip doing home from school?
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00:11:34,040 --> 00:11:37,160
I had to bring him home, Mother, because
thanks to your husband, I couldn't
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00:11:37,160 --> 00:11:38,160
leave him in school.
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00:11:38,340 --> 00:11:41,240
A six -year -old girl called him a
fascist pig.
200
00:11:42,140 --> 00:11:46,040
Did you hear that? Did you hear that?
Even my own grandson is infected with
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disease. Lord, please.
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00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:48,320
I feel bad enough as it is.
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00:11:48,560 --> 00:11:49,900
Mrs. Finley, I quit.
204
00:11:50,580 --> 00:11:51,580
You quit?
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00:11:53,560 --> 00:11:54,700
Master Slumlord.
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00:11:55,160 --> 00:11:57,820
Your faithful old donkey is leaving the
plantation.
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00:12:05,780 --> 00:12:08,900
Florida, Florida, they raised it up.
Well, you know me better than that,
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00:12:08,920 --> 00:12:11,100
Florida. Do I look like a slumlord to
you?
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00:12:11,800 --> 00:12:14,080
Well, that's hard to tell. You know the
old saying.
210
00:12:14,520 --> 00:12:16,360
Oh, you slumlords look alike.
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00:12:18,880 --> 00:12:22,540
Florida, let me explain. Look, Walter's
accountant is taking care of it right
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00:12:22,540 --> 00:12:26,190
now. It'll all... be straightened out, I
swear to you. Florida, please don't go
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00:12:26,190 --> 00:12:28,110
this way. Florida, please don't go.
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00:12:29,410 --> 00:12:31,790
What do you say now, Mr. Slumlord?
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00:12:32,770 --> 00:12:36,110
Why can't you be like other husbands and
blow your money on broads?
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00:12:41,950 --> 00:12:45,750
Oh, Florida, I knew you couldn't leave
me this way.
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00:12:45,970 --> 00:12:47,250
You came back?
218
00:12:47,550 --> 00:12:48,550
No chance.
219
00:12:48,990 --> 00:12:52,110
I just wasn't going to leave no African
valet in this house.
220
00:13:12,040 --> 00:13:13,720
to her. She found one that wasn't in the
book.
221
00:13:18,500 --> 00:13:21,780
That's exactly why I'm not sending
Philip back to school, not until this
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00:13:21,780 --> 00:13:22,479
is settled.
223
00:13:22,480 --> 00:13:26,260
Look, Carol, will you get off my back?
We are doing everything humanly
224
00:13:26,600 --> 00:13:30,220
Walter is at the accountant's right now.
I have been on the phone all day with
225
00:13:30,220 --> 00:13:33,540
the urban renewal office, and they tell
me that you can't make a dent in fixing
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00:13:33,540 --> 00:13:36,600
up that building for under $100 ,000.
227
00:13:37,820 --> 00:13:39,880
Why does the telephone ring when you're
in trouble?
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00:13:42,550 --> 00:13:43,930
Hello, this is a recording.
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00:13:45,090 --> 00:13:48,770
When you hear the beep, leave your name
and number and you will be called when I
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00:13:48,770 --> 00:13:50,730
return. You should live so long.
231
00:14:01,190 --> 00:14:02,190
Beep.
232
00:14:04,050 --> 00:14:05,890
Oh, Carol, I think I'm going to pieces.
233
00:14:07,470 --> 00:14:10,110
Walter, what happened to the
accountants? What did he say? Can we get
234
00:14:10,110 --> 00:14:13,260
deal? What did he say? What did he say?
I'll explain everything, but first Mr.
235
00:14:13,420 --> 00:14:15,380
Williams wants to know if he can come in
for a minute. Mr. Williams?
236
00:14:16,020 --> 00:14:17,200
He wants to come in here?
237
00:14:17,820 --> 00:14:21,720
I know. He's probably coming to tell us
that he realizes he's made a mistake and
238
00:14:21,720 --> 00:14:22,659
he's going to leave.
239
00:14:22,660 --> 00:14:26,300
I mean, I think he's thought it over and
in his heart he knows what kind of
240
00:14:26,300 --> 00:14:27,300
people we really are.
241
00:14:28,040 --> 00:14:29,040
Evening, Mrs. Finley.
242
00:14:29,260 --> 00:14:32,380
Mr. Finley said it might be all right if
I popped in here for a minute. Of
243
00:14:32,380 --> 00:14:35,860
course. Come right in. Now tell me, what
was it you wanted to talk to us about?
244
00:14:36,080 --> 00:14:37,860
Would you mind if I use your facilities?
245
00:14:44,910 --> 00:14:46,970
Realizes what kind of people we really
are.
246
00:14:47,970 --> 00:14:49,170
This way, Mr. Williams.
247
00:14:50,550 --> 00:14:52,030
Walter Findlay, you tricked me.
248
00:14:52,230 --> 00:14:53,690
You knew what it was he wanted.
249
00:14:53,930 --> 00:14:54,930
No, I didn't.
250
00:14:55,290 --> 00:14:57,790
Matter of fact, I thought he might be
hungry. He was going to ask for
251
00:14:57,790 --> 00:15:00,550
to eat. Oh, don't be ridiculous. I gave
him a hot lunch at one o 'clock.
252
00:15:02,450 --> 00:15:03,970
About the accountant, Walter.
253
00:15:04,690 --> 00:15:05,890
Well, he found me a buyer.
254
00:15:06,450 --> 00:15:13,170
But he's only offering me 60 cents on
the dollar. It'll cost me $3 ,200 to
255
00:15:13,170 --> 00:15:14,170
out.
256
00:15:15,810 --> 00:15:17,330
$200? That thief!
257
00:15:17,610 --> 00:15:20,070
That exploiter! That bloodsucker!
258
00:15:20,450 --> 00:15:21,590
Walter, take the offer.
259
00:15:24,150 --> 00:15:25,310
Maud, are you crazy?
260
00:15:25,970 --> 00:15:27,950
I can't afford to throw away $3 ,200.
261
00:15:28,410 --> 00:15:32,210
You can't afford not to, Walter. If my
son is being called a fascist pig, you
262
00:15:32,210 --> 00:15:33,430
can imagine what they're calling you.
263
00:15:33,650 --> 00:15:34,650
She's right, Walter.
264
00:15:35,010 --> 00:15:36,030
Wait a minute, Maud.
265
00:15:36,510 --> 00:15:40,410
You're a slumlord, too, you know. Oh,
come on. It's bad enough that I'm
266
00:15:40,410 --> 00:15:41,029
to one.
267
00:15:41,030 --> 00:15:42,830
We're both married to one.
268
00:15:43,280 --> 00:15:47,460
The accountant said we signed a joint
tenancy. Mother, did you put your name
269
00:15:47,460 --> 00:15:48,460
that paper?
270
00:15:48,500 --> 00:15:49,640
Well, how could I?
271
00:15:50,640 --> 00:15:52,740
Walter, I never signed that Riverview
deal.
272
00:15:53,540 --> 00:15:57,120
Unless it was that night that you
brought all those papers in in the blue
273
00:15:57,120 --> 00:16:00,960
and we couldn't really talk about it
because I was watching Marcus Welby and
274
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:04,060
was getting ready to operate on that
prostitute with a benign tumor.
275
00:16:06,220 --> 00:16:08,980
Oh, my God, I'm a slumlord, too.
276
00:16:10,980 --> 00:16:11,980
Well, there you go.
277
00:16:12,400 --> 00:16:16,740
half of you standing around with your
head in the sand, while the other half
278
00:16:16,740 --> 00:16:19,620
you pollutes the environment and
impresses the poor.
279
00:16:20,060 --> 00:16:21,060
Hmm.
280
00:16:21,560 --> 00:16:25,580
How do you like your own words coming
back to haunt you? I'm proud of Carol
281
00:16:25,580 --> 00:16:28,700
telling me off, and in one minute I'm
going to be proud of me for telling you
282
00:16:28,700 --> 00:16:32,800
off. Well, now, that was a pleasant
visitation.
283
00:16:34,640 --> 00:16:40,120
You just can't imagine the pleasures of
working with facilities that are really
284
00:16:40,120 --> 00:16:41,120
working.
285
00:16:42,380 --> 00:16:44,500
Now, Mr. Williams, before you go, Mr.
286
00:16:44,720 --> 00:16:48,860
Findlay has something to tell you. No, I
haven't. We have found a buyer for 401.
287
00:16:49,300 --> 00:16:53,320
Not yet, Lord. Listen to me, Walter
Findlay. Take the $3 ,200 loss.
288
00:16:53,660 --> 00:16:54,559
$3 ,200?
289
00:16:54,560 --> 00:16:58,160
That's a lot of money. You bet it is. So
let's understand who we are in this
290
00:16:58,160 --> 00:17:02,300
house. We live up to every debt we make,
just like the rest of America.
291
00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:04,700
Do you know what our real last name is?
292
00:17:05,380 --> 00:17:06,380
Master Charge.
293
00:17:07,640 --> 00:17:09,319
Walter and Lord Master Charge.
294
00:17:11,310 --> 00:17:12,450
The point is that we're not rich.
295
00:17:13,130 --> 00:17:15,089
$3 ,200 is a fortune.
296
00:17:15,390 --> 00:17:16,390
A damn big fortune.
297
00:17:16,530 --> 00:17:20,130
And I've worked too damn hard to lose it
just like that. Man, I can't blame you.
298
00:17:20,130 --> 00:17:21,970
Will you keep quiet with us?
299
00:17:22,670 --> 00:17:25,510
We're a poacher in the neighborhood. You
sure have a heck of a lot to say.
300
00:17:26,270 --> 00:17:30,530
And as for you, Findley, I've heard your
hard luck story. While I hate to kick a
301
00:17:30,530 --> 00:17:34,270
man when he's down, I am offering you
one agonizing choice.
302
00:17:34,710 --> 00:17:37,990
You are either going to lose the $3 ,200
or me.
303
00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:40,420
That might not be so agonizing.
304
00:17:49,900 --> 00:17:51,100
God'll get you for that.
305
00:17:54,120 --> 00:17:59,240
I wasn't thinking of you, ma 'am. I was
relating my own situation with my own
306
00:17:59,240 --> 00:18:00,240
wife.
307
00:18:00,780 --> 00:18:01,780
Miserable.
308
00:18:02,480 --> 00:18:04,180
Well, much obliged for the facilities.
309
00:18:05,660 --> 00:18:08,040
Mort, I know you didn't mean what you
just said.
310
00:18:08,430 --> 00:18:12,810
You must be reading my mind. In which
case, you don't realize the two pages
311
00:18:12,810 --> 00:18:13,589
stuck together.
312
00:18:13,590 --> 00:18:17,770
In between yesterday's I love you and
tomorrow's I love you, there's one page
313
00:18:17,770 --> 00:18:21,050
that says sell, Walter, or else there'll
be no tomorrow.
314
00:18:21,910 --> 00:18:23,390
Marty! Walter!
315
00:18:23,630 --> 00:18:26,110
Listen, I was just talking to Mr.
Williams out there.
316
00:18:26,430 --> 00:18:27,550
He likes your bathroom.
317
00:18:29,490 --> 00:18:31,430
Walter, your accountant called my
accountant.
318
00:18:32,050 --> 00:18:33,710
Evidently, you want to get out from
under this thing.
319
00:18:34,350 --> 00:18:36,990
I learned what a good investment you
have there for $8 ,000.
320
00:18:37,210 --> 00:18:40,930
Well, Arthur, if you think that the
Riverview deal is a good investment...
321
00:18:40,950 --> 00:18:42,290
you think it's a good investment.
322
00:18:42,530 --> 00:18:43,710
Mort, please.
323
00:18:45,410 --> 00:18:46,950
How about buying my end of the deal?
324
00:18:47,790 --> 00:18:49,710
Walter, what a brilliant idea!
325
00:18:50,290 --> 00:18:53,550
Mort, how would you like to go into the
kitchen and make some coffee?
326
00:18:55,150 --> 00:18:56,150
It won't work, Walter.
327
00:18:56,550 --> 00:18:58,410
You have got a good deal there for $8
,000.
328
00:18:58,870 --> 00:19:01,230
But it is not a good idea to do business
with friends.
329
00:19:01,830 --> 00:19:04,470
Because when it comes to business,
friendship goes out the window.
330
00:19:05,790 --> 00:19:06,790
I know that, Arthur.
331
00:19:06,990 --> 00:19:09,470
All right, I'll give you $5 ,500 for
your end of the deal.
332
00:19:10,690 --> 00:19:11,830
Arthur, come on.
333
00:19:12,770 --> 00:19:16,290
Arthur, dear, I have some hors d
'oeuvres left over from last night, plus
334
00:19:16,290 --> 00:19:19,410
extra special goodies I whipped up
especially for you.
335
00:19:19,950 --> 00:19:21,010
Marty, they look delicious.
336
00:19:23,290 --> 00:19:25,050
How about a Swedish meatball?
337
00:19:25,270 --> 00:19:26,270
Thank you.
338
00:19:26,990 --> 00:19:28,710
How about a pig in the blanket?
339
00:19:29,110 --> 00:19:30,110
Thank you.
340
00:19:30,860 --> 00:19:32,520
How about $7 ,000?
341
00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:37,760
Sorry, $5 ,500 is my final offer. If you
thought it was a good deal at eight,
342
00:19:37,840 --> 00:19:40,080
why won't you give us seven? Business is
business, Marty.
343
00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:42,400
Besides, I have to charge you something
for moving expenses.
344
00:19:42,760 --> 00:19:43,760
What moving expenses?
345
00:19:44,280 --> 00:19:47,440
Well, if I buy it, that picket has to
move from your door to my door. I'll get
346
00:19:47,440 --> 00:19:48,440
it.
347
00:19:48,700 --> 00:19:50,500
I'd rather see it rotting in the
freezer.
348
00:19:51,580 --> 00:19:52,580
Arthur.
349
00:19:52,980 --> 00:19:53,980
Thank you, darling.
350
00:19:54,180 --> 00:19:58,100
We're going to take your offer. No,
we're not. I'd still be losing $2 ,500.
351
00:19:58,640 --> 00:19:59,640
Or me.
352
00:19:59,900 --> 00:20:00,900
Is that your choice, Walter?
353
00:20:01,520 --> 00:20:02,740
Don't push your luck, Arthur.
354
00:20:03,520 --> 00:20:05,240
And don't push yours either, Walter.
355
00:20:05,440 --> 00:20:09,180
Don't push yours either, Mother. You
signed that paper to... Oh, come on,
356
00:20:09,340 --> 00:20:13,900
I may have signed the paper, but it was
Walter who brought it home. Oh, you and
357
00:20:13,900 --> 00:20:16,940
your husband signed a piece of paper.
Neither one of you knows what you're
358
00:20:16,940 --> 00:20:19,560
signing, but suddenly he's more to blame
than you are.
359
00:20:21,360 --> 00:20:22,400
Walter Carroll's right.
360
00:20:22,820 --> 00:20:26,020
Sell the tenement to Arthur, and I'll
personally make up the $2 ,500.
361
00:20:26,440 --> 00:20:29,200
What? Where'd you get $2 ,500, Maud?
362
00:20:29,690 --> 00:20:30,690
Household accounts.
363
00:20:31,010 --> 00:20:34,570
You know us housewives. A little less
red meat here.
364
00:20:34,870 --> 00:20:37,010
Day -old bread. Cheating at Keno.
365
00:20:37,570 --> 00:20:38,570
What?
366
00:20:39,070 --> 00:20:41,750
In four years of marriage, I've saved
$40.
367
00:20:44,010 --> 00:20:47,090
$40. I'm talking about $2 ,500.
368
00:20:47,450 --> 00:20:51,850
Walter, please don't nitpick about a
lousy $2 ,460.
369
00:20:52,170 --> 00:20:53,170
Sell.
370
00:20:53,490 --> 00:20:54,550
You're crazy.
371
00:20:55,250 --> 00:20:56,250
Everybody's crazy.
372
00:20:56,910 --> 00:20:57,910
Hello?
373
00:20:59,340 --> 00:21:00,340
It's the accountant.
374
00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:01,720
What?
375
00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:03,720
Sensational.
376
00:21:03,840 --> 00:21:07,720
It's not the happiest news in the world,
but it's almost the happiest news in
377
00:21:07,720 --> 00:21:08,399
the world.
378
00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:09,400
Okay, thanks, Mike.
379
00:21:09,860 --> 00:21:12,040
Don't look like the cat who swallowed
the telephone. Talk.
380
00:21:12,900 --> 00:21:14,040
You found me a buyer.
381
00:21:14,240 --> 00:21:15,500
$7 ,000.
382
00:21:17,220 --> 00:21:22,120
Walter, you only lost $1 ,000. I'm so
proud of you.
383
00:21:23,900 --> 00:21:25,380
Don't say I didn't try to help you,
Walter.
384
00:21:25,880 --> 00:21:28,740
Do you mind if I say that, Arthur? You
didn't try to help him.
385
00:21:29,120 --> 00:21:32,020
All right, you people just don't
understand. That's what's wrong with
386
00:21:32,020 --> 00:21:34,640
simply don't understand the old F .E .S.
387
00:21:37,380 --> 00:21:38,940
Free Enterprise System.
388
00:21:41,060 --> 00:21:46,240
Honey, sweetie, I know you're awfully
unhappy about that $1 ,000, but I swear
389
00:21:46,240 --> 00:21:50,400
you, sweetheart, I'll make it up to you.
I promise. I mean, tonight alone I'll
390
00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:51,400
make it up to you.
391
00:21:56,840 --> 00:21:57,840
news for you.
392
00:21:58,080 --> 00:22:00,580
He's so happy he dropped his sign. He's
running up the lawn.
393
00:22:00,820 --> 00:22:01,820
Hi again.
394
00:22:02,440 --> 00:22:04,740
Somebody here must know me better than I
know myself.
395
00:22:05,500 --> 00:22:07,060
Uh, what do you mean, Mr. Williams?
396
00:22:07,380 --> 00:22:10,500
Wouldn't you call me in to offer me this
facilities again?
397
00:22:11,120 --> 00:22:15,020
Oh, no, but of course you can use them.
Now, come in. I have wonderful news.
398
00:22:15,300 --> 00:22:18,160
Mr. Findlay and I sold our end of 401.
399
00:22:18,520 --> 00:22:20,520
We are no longer slumlords.
400
00:22:20,800 --> 00:22:21,800
Is that so?
401
00:22:22,240 --> 00:22:24,260
I'm gonna miss that nice white towel.
402
00:22:24,810 --> 00:22:27,950
And that nice border on top of the
yellow fishes.
403
00:22:31,370 --> 00:22:34,350
Walter, how much cash do you have on
you?
404
00:22:34,550 --> 00:22:36,570
I don't know. Fifty, sixty dollars.
405
00:22:37,170 --> 00:22:40,130
Mr. Williams, I know this isn't very
much.
406
00:22:40,410 --> 00:22:43,390
Especially when they said you couldn't
fix the building up for less than a
407
00:22:43,390 --> 00:22:44,390
hundred thou.
408
00:22:44,450 --> 00:22:46,990
Still and all, you can't look at
everything that way, young lady.
409
00:22:48,010 --> 00:22:49,990
I might do some good with this money.
410
00:22:51,030 --> 00:22:52,790
What a lovely thought.
411
00:22:53,470 --> 00:22:54,470
Yeah.
412
00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:55,840
We have nine then.
413
00:22:58,120 --> 00:22:59,320
Well, goodbye, everybody.
414
00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:05,760
And to you, nice plant, I hope you grow
up to be as big as Volkswagen's tube.
415
00:23:10,640 --> 00:23:15,100
I forgot my transistor radio on my four
-inch Sony TV.
416
00:23:15,760 --> 00:23:16,900
What's he doing in there?
417
00:23:17,360 --> 00:23:21,080
He's in here because we just gave him
some wonderful news, Florida.
418
00:23:21,680 --> 00:23:23,640
We sold our end of 401.
419
00:23:23,920 --> 00:23:27,460
We are no longer slumlords. That's
right, Florida. And just to ease her
420
00:23:27,460 --> 00:23:29,320
conscience, Mother gave Mr. Williams
$60.
421
00:23:29,820 --> 00:23:31,380
Carol, that's a rotten thing to say.
422
00:23:31,840 --> 00:23:35,320
I gave him the money because the poor
guy needed it. How would you like to
423
00:23:35,320 --> 00:23:37,620
in his rat -infested, roach -encrusted
environment?
424
00:23:38,140 --> 00:23:39,500
Don't be silly, Maude.
425
00:23:40,200 --> 00:23:42,980
What good can $60 do the people in that
tenement?
426
00:23:43,440 --> 00:23:46,980
Mr. Williams, why don't you just run it
up in a crap game?
427
00:23:47,620 --> 00:23:50,180
What a terrible thing to say.
428
00:23:50,400 --> 00:23:51,400
I mean...
429
00:23:51,920 --> 00:23:53,820
It shows what you know about black
people.
430
00:23:54,080 --> 00:23:58,240
Please accept my apology, Mr. Williams,
and you too. You too, Florida.
431
00:23:58,440 --> 00:24:02,420
I mean, one thing for sure, he's not
going to use it to exploit the poor.
432
00:24:02,560 --> 00:24:07,100
Mr. Williams? No, ma 'am. But to tell
the truth, $60 ain't much for a poor
433
00:24:07,440 --> 00:24:11,720
What I might do is take this money and
put it on a worthy cause.
434
00:24:12,460 --> 00:24:15,860
You see, Walter, Carol, he's smart.
435
00:24:16,780 --> 00:24:19,200
Worthy cause is running at ten to one.
436
00:24:24,270 --> 00:24:25,270
on the nose for me.
437
00:24:34,890 --> 00:24:39,990
Fellas, I'm here to tell you that Maud's
love and affection is really going to
438
00:24:39,990 --> 00:24:44,150
work for you. Because last night, I
can't tell you how it worked for me.
439
00:24:46,270 --> 00:24:51,270
I mean, I grew and grew and this morning
I feel ten...
440
00:24:55,120 --> 00:24:56,600
I couldn't help overhearing you.
441
00:24:57,340 --> 00:24:58,740
That was a lovely tribute.
442
00:25:04,340 --> 00:25:07,360
Sweetheart, you really shouldn't talk
that way in front of the begonias.
443
00:25:09,580 --> 00:25:11,000
I mean, he's just a baby.
444
00:25:36,840 --> 00:25:39,800
Maud was recorded on tape before a live
audience.
37142
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