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Lady Godiva was a freedom rider.
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She didn't care if the whole world
looked.
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Joan of Arc with the Lord to guide her.
She was a sister who really could.
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Isadora was the first bra burner. Ain't
you glad she showed up?
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Oh, yeah.
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The country was falling apart.
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Betsy Ross got it all sewed up.
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And the dance floor.
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And then there's Maud.
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And then there's Maud. And then there's
Maud. And then there's Maud. And then
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there's Maud. And then there's Maud.
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That'll compromise and enterprise and
anything but tranquilize. Right on,
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Please, Walter.
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00:00:50,870 --> 00:00:55,330
No, we're not through. We are. Finished
art. Look. We have been arguing about it
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since Wednesday night. I'm sick of it.
I'm sick of it, too, and we've been
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00:00:58,770 --> 00:01:02,690
arguing about this since Tuesday night.
Look, Walter, I distinctly remember that
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00:01:02,690 --> 00:01:06,250
it was Wednesday night when we began our
present love -hate relationship.
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But it was Tuesday night that you told
me about this ridiculous plan of yours.
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Then you served me a Mexican dinner
because Lee Trevino had talked about it
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TV, and since I was a golfer, you
thought I'd like it.
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Walter, the Mexican dinner was Wednesday
night.
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Tuesday, Maude, I know because I had gas
all night.
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Walter, don't you think I remember which
night you had gas all night?
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Now, please, I have to be down at the
station house in less than an hour.
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Well, maybe that's Jeff with the
marijuana.
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Maude, if that's your nephew, forget it.
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You're not going to deliberately get
yourself arrested for possession of
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marijuana? Good cause or no good cause?
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Thank you, Walter.
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Remember what Shakespeare said?
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How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is
to have a fink for a husband.
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Fink? I'm no fink. These are union
tomatoes.
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How much?
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75 cents a box.
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Well, you forget the tomatoes, Maude.
We're talking about you getting arrested
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for possession of marijuana.
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Look, you'll have to forgive my husband.
He's himself this morning.
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All right, go ahead and blame me. Just
because a box boy at Fawley's
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00:02:26,080 --> 00:02:29,640
got himself busted on possession of
marijuana charge, and you and your dandy
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00:02:29,640 --> 00:02:34,060
friends want to get yourself arrested on
that same charge as a protest, I'm to
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blame. Listen, are you sure the bottom
ones aren't soft and mushy?
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Mark, pay attention when I'm yelling at
you. Look, Walter, 146 women from all
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over the... state are going down to
their local police stations to do
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the same thing. Now, does that sound
like just a bunch of my friends?
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Gee, I don't know. The bottom ones feel
mushy to me.
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Okay, I'll ask your friend over there.
Am I wrong in telling my wife that I
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don't want to go to jail? Listen, you
know darn well that they are not going
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put a group of upper middle class
housewives into jail.
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00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:09,980
Now, listen, I've been stuck before. You
sure the bottom ones aren't mushy?
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00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:12,100
Lady, you gotta take your chances.
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In that case, I'll take one box.
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Fine. Which one?
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Wait a minute.
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Uh, which one? I'll take top of this
box.
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Mort!
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Now, you listen to reason, Walter.
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Harold Collins is 19 years old. Do you
realize that he faces from three to
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years in jail?
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Walter. This is something I have to do.
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00:03:46,270 --> 00:03:47,810
Okay, look, I'll tell you what.
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I'll give you a check for $400 to help
pay for the kid's lawyer, and we'll
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forget this getting arrested thing,
okay?
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00:03:54,290 --> 00:03:55,290
Oh, Walter.
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Honey, that's awfully sweet of you, but
it's really not necessary.
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Oh, thank you. You already gave $500.
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00:04:04,680 --> 00:04:08,600
And listen, darling, I'm terribly sorry
I'm so edgy, but I'm exhausted.
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00:04:09,020 --> 00:04:12,480
I was so nervous about this morning that
I didn't sleep a wink last night. Well,
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why don't you take something, like a
couple of secondals? We're out of
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00:04:14,900 --> 00:04:18,519
secondals, but I did take two
chlorohydrates and a Librium, and they
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work.
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00:04:20,060 --> 00:04:24,220
Well, I took two Miltan and a Doradim. I
slept like a lamb. And snored like a
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moose.
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00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:29,740
Now, I should have taken two
mepperbromates with a Nembutol instead
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chlorohydrates with a Librium.
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00:04:32,800 --> 00:04:35,580
Philip! Cold knockwurst for breakfast?
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How can you put that junk inside you?
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Listen, sweetheart.
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00:04:40,980 --> 00:04:46,380
Would you like Grandma Maud to make you
a nice little omelet? No. Thank God if I
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had to cook this time of the month.
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00:04:49,040 --> 00:04:51,140
Look, sweetheart, it's really time to go
to school.
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00:04:51,360 --> 00:04:52,360
Come on, dear.
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So long, Philip.
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00:04:56,440 --> 00:04:57,760
Now, how about me, Maud?
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00:04:58,060 --> 00:04:59,060
Where's my breakfast?
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00:04:59,220 --> 00:05:02,700
I don't have time to fix you your
breakfast. Here, have some cold
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00:05:05,140 --> 00:05:08,740
Knockwurst for breakfast? With a diet
like this, I could get scurvy.
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Here's a lime.
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00:05:14,280 --> 00:05:18,440
Oh, I hope that's Jeff with the
marijuana. He knows I've been waiting
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00:05:18,520 --> 00:05:21,220
There's not that much. I'm coming, I'm
coming, I'm coming.
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Oh, Jeff.
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I am on.
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Oh, oh, you've got... You're in time,
Jeff.
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I knew I could count on you. That's why
you've always been my favorite nephew.
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I don't have the pot.
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You're a loser, Jeff.
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You've always been a loser, Jeff.
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Jeff, where is it? Where is it, Jeff?
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It's really scarce, Hamad. There was a
big senior prom last night.
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00:05:48,440 --> 00:05:49,379
Oh.
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00:05:49,380 --> 00:05:51,740
Listen, Jeff. Go out on the streets.
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Hang around playgrounds.
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Jeff, don't come back. without the
marijuana.
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My luck. I have to have an aunt who's a
head.
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00:06:03,080 --> 00:06:05,400
Walter, Jeff... A head of what?
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00:06:07,660 --> 00:06:08,660
Walter?
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00:06:08,840 --> 00:06:13,040
Walter, Jeff blew it. He blew it. He
didn't bring the marijuana. What am I
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00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:15,580
to do? All the girls were expecting me
to supply the stuff.
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00:06:16,260 --> 00:06:21,120
Oh, Lorraine. I'm so nervous, Maude.
Hello, Walter.
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I guess that you and the girls are all
ready to go. We couldn't be readier.
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Shirley and Francis have already left in
Rita's station wagon. Sue Jane, Sally,
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Joyce, you and I are going to go in my
Volkswagen.
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Well, that should be a fun ride, Maude.
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Listen, Lorraine, look.
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00:06:45,500 --> 00:06:49,040
Why don't you go on ahead, and I'll meet
the rest of you girls down at the
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station. Well, if there's nothing wrong,
is there? You do have the pot, don't
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you? Do I have the pot?
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Walter, she wants to know if I have the
pot.
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Tell her, Mort.
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Uh, Lorraine, you go on without me.
Well, I thought we'd go together.
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00:07:05,720 --> 00:07:09,260
Well, no, I think it's wise that we
split up. You know, in case you have a
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accident, at least one of us can get
through.
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What do you think of everything?
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Walter,
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Walter, what am I going to do? What am I
going to do? You tried and you failed
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and you can't do any better than that.
Now look, I'm sure the kid's going to be
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all right.
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What are his parents doing about this?
Oh, come on, Walter. He's not some rich
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kid whose parents can buy his way out of
it. He's a poor kid who supports
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himself working in a supermarket.
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I've got to get the marijuana. I refuse
to give up. Good morning.
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Oh, Carol.
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Carol, honey, I have a big favor to ask
of you. Mother, please spare me.
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It's bad enough I had to listen to you
and Walter argue all night.
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We were not arguing. I just had to speak
very loud because Walter was trying to
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sleep.
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00:07:55,140 --> 00:07:58,860
Well, anyway, I feel awful. Because of
you, I ended up taking a Valium,
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something I never do.
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00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:03,240
Oh, honey, you should have tried a
couple of Doradins.
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00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:06,040
You should have tried a couple of
earplugs.
140
00:08:06,730 --> 00:08:08,590
I just wonder what I'm going to do all
day at work.
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00:08:08,870 --> 00:08:12,570
Oh, honey, why didn't you tell me I have
just the thing for you? That's what
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mommies are for.
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Here, sweetheart.
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Take a Ritalin.
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It'll pick you up like that.
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Now then, I did you a favor.
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You do me a favor.
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Honey, I've got to have some marijuana.
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Now, please, Carol.
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00:08:34,030 --> 00:08:35,570
Call one of your weird friends.
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00:08:37,429 --> 00:08:40,909
Mother, I would love to help you, but at
the moment, I don't know anyone who
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smokes grass.
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You raise a daughter and what happens?
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She turns out to be a woman.
155
00:09:01,580 --> 00:09:03,960
Now, she is a member of the family,
aren't you, Florida?
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00:09:04,300 --> 00:09:08,000
So far, nobody ever noticed much of a
family resemblance.
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Listen, Florida, I have to confide in
you.
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I need some marijuana.
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00:09:16,600 --> 00:09:21,740
I'm sorry, Ms. Finley. I hate to
disappoint you, but on my salary, I'm a
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Pepper girl.
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I was going to say she couldn't help
you. Carol, please.
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Florida is black. Now, don't tell me she
doesn't know any musicians.
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Oh, hey, you know, Maud, with a little
sauerkraut, knockwurst ain't bad for
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breakfast.
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Good morning, all.
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Well, the good doctor.
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00:09:53,330 --> 00:09:54,710
Now, Marty, be kind.
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00:09:55,130 --> 00:09:56,130
I'm not a well man.
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00:09:56,850 --> 00:09:59,350
Last night I attended a seminar on
preventive medicine.
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I've got a hell of a hangover.
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00:10:02,590 --> 00:10:03,790
Arthur, as long as you're here.
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00:10:04,110 --> 00:10:07,750
Maud ran out of second holds, and I
could use some Miltown and some Librium.
173
00:10:08,030 --> 00:10:09,510
Well, all right, Walter.
174
00:10:09,990 --> 00:10:14,170
I have to remind you again that we do
not approve of people consuming
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00:10:14,170 --> 00:10:16,530
which could have a deleterious effect on
their health.
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Make me a Bloody Mary. I think I'm
dying.
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00:10:21,430 --> 00:10:27,050
Arthur, if you don't feel well, I am
sincerely sorry.
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00:10:27,630 --> 00:10:29,470
Now, I really mean that, Arthur.
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You didn't get the marijuana, right?
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00:10:33,320 --> 00:10:36,240
Too bad, Marty, it looks like you don't
have a pot to protest in.
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00:10:42,960 --> 00:10:46,620
Listen, Arthur, Arthur, I desperately
need your help.
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00:10:46,820 --> 00:10:48,880
Ah, you're not going to drag me to this
ludicrous scheme.
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00:10:49,160 --> 00:10:53,160
Arthur, listen, you know darn well they
are not going to put 146 wives of
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00:10:53,160 --> 00:10:54,620
prominent businessmen into jail.
185
00:10:54,860 --> 00:10:58,500
And with all the bad publicity, they are
not going to put Harold Collins into
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00:10:58,500 --> 00:10:59,800
jail. Why not?
187
00:11:00,180 --> 00:11:01,660
He had a quarter of an ounce of
marijuana.
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00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:03,400
That's a felony.
189
00:11:03,560 --> 00:11:06,200
Any sensible kid would have had a couple
of joints in his pocket.
190
00:11:06,420 --> 00:11:09,180
That's a misdemeanor, and the most he
could get would be a year in jail. You
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00:11:09,180 --> 00:11:12,660
know, that remark makes just about as
much sense as the ridiculous marijuana
192
00:11:12,660 --> 00:11:15,560
law, which I am against because it is
too severe.
193
00:11:15,860 --> 00:11:18,560
Arthur, the punishment does not fit the
crime.
194
00:11:19,520 --> 00:11:22,440
It's terrible to think of all the kids
using artificial stimulants like
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00:11:22,440 --> 00:11:24,000
marijuana to solve all their problems.
196
00:11:24,360 --> 00:11:25,660
This could use a little more budget.
197
00:11:27,540 --> 00:11:31,960
Arthur, the American Bar Association,
the President's Commission, even your
198
00:11:31,960 --> 00:11:34,930
organization... Civilization, the AMA,
all say the laws are too severe.
199
00:11:35,210 --> 00:11:36,210
What's that got to do with it?
200
00:11:36,530 --> 00:11:37,550
I'm talking about morality.
201
00:11:38,210 --> 00:11:42,910
You start these young kids off on pot,
indiscriminate sex, running off to
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00:11:42,910 --> 00:11:44,630
to avoid the draft, you know what it
leads to?
203
00:11:45,570 --> 00:11:46,650
You know what it leads to?
204
00:11:47,850 --> 00:11:49,290
Well, I'll tell you what it leads to.
205
00:11:49,990 --> 00:11:50,990
Jane Fonda.
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00:11:58,590 --> 00:12:01,610
Arthur, if that's what it takes to get a
Jane Fonda,
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00:12:06,410 --> 00:12:07,750
My father once played Abraham Lincoln.
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00:12:09,410 --> 00:12:11,570
What's this great romance you have going
with marijuana?
209
00:12:11,890 --> 00:12:15,270
Oh, look, Arthur, I smoke as much grass
as you do. None.
210
00:12:15,530 --> 00:12:18,750
Arthur, you've got some nerve. You're
condemning Harold Collins while you're
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00:12:18,750 --> 00:12:22,290
standing here dispensing drugs like
they're going out of style. And on top
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00:12:22,290 --> 00:12:23,490
it, you're hungover from drinking.
213
00:12:23,730 --> 00:12:26,490
But I did not deliberately set out to
get high. There's a very great
214
00:12:26,490 --> 00:12:28,130
between myself and Harold Collins.
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00:12:28,630 --> 00:12:30,750
Well, I've got to get to the hospital.
Thanks for the drink.
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00:12:32,230 --> 00:12:33,390
Look at that, shaking like a leaf.
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00:12:33,900 --> 00:12:35,600
Lucky for me, I don't have to operate
today.
218
00:12:38,160 --> 00:12:39,200
Lucky for him?
219
00:12:40,860 --> 00:12:42,520
Can you believe it? It's lucky for
everybody.
220
00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:48,880
Excuse me, Mrs. Finley, but a friend of
your nephew's left this at the back
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00:12:48,880 --> 00:12:50,900
door. He says you owe him $20.
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00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:52,700
Walter, give her the money.
223
00:12:53,660 --> 00:12:55,000
Oh, Florida.
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00:12:55,820 --> 00:12:59,260
Florida, there is a pot fairy after all.
225
00:13:04,170 --> 00:13:05,170
What fairy?
226
00:13:06,850 --> 00:13:09,450
Funny. The kid looked normal to me.
227
00:13:13,630 --> 00:13:14,870
So that's marijuana.
228
00:13:15,470 --> 00:13:17,250
Looks just like oregano, doesn't it?
229
00:13:18,390 --> 00:13:21,470
Wonder what it smells like. Doesn't
smell like much of anything till you
230
00:13:21,470 --> 00:13:22,470
it.
231
00:13:22,630 --> 00:13:24,610
Don't know anybody who uses pot, huh?
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00:13:30,270 --> 00:13:31,870
Walter, what are you doing with my
marijuana?
233
00:13:32,360 --> 00:13:33,360
Your marijuana?
234
00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:37,440
Didn't I just pay $20 for it? Oh, come
on, Walter. What does that have to do
235
00:13:37,440 --> 00:13:39,500
with it? If I paid for it, it's mine.
236
00:13:39,880 --> 00:13:43,920
Now, look, Walter, don't do this to me.
Give me my marijuana and I'll give you
237
00:13:43,920 --> 00:13:48,160
the money. I don't want your $20,
Walter. Walter, I am not talking about
238
00:13:48,300 --> 00:13:52,240
Here is two cents, which, believe me, is
all your life will be worth if you
239
00:13:52,240 --> 00:13:53,240
don't give me my money.
240
00:14:02,380 --> 00:14:05,920
Now, look, Walter, all those women are
depending on me. Harold Collins is
241
00:14:05,920 --> 00:14:07,460
depending on me. Now, give me the pot.
242
00:14:08,060 --> 00:14:12,900
Maud, you walk into that police station
with that bag of marijuana, and if they
243
00:14:12,900 --> 00:14:15,020
throw anyone in jail, it'll be you.
244
00:14:15,460 --> 00:14:18,980
Walter, name me one housewife they ever
threw into jail.
245
00:14:19,980 --> 00:14:20,980
Lizzie Borden.
246
00:14:23,080 --> 00:14:24,680
Lizzie Borden never married.
247
00:14:24,920 --> 00:14:26,200
No, but she was going with somebody.
248
00:14:27,680 --> 00:14:30,780
Maud, I'm not giving you my permission
to go through with this. Walter.
249
00:14:31,360 --> 00:14:34,300
Permission? Did you say your permission?
250
00:14:34,560 --> 00:14:37,880
I'm your husband, Maude. And I'm your
wife, Walter.
251
00:14:38,080 --> 00:14:42,140
But if you remember our marriage vows,
they were love, honor, and cherish, not
252
00:14:42,140 --> 00:14:47,460
love, honor, and obey, because it is
very wrong for one human being to have
253
00:14:47,460 --> 00:14:51,080
obey another human being. Now do what I
tell you and give me the pie!
254
00:14:55,440 --> 00:15:00,800
Not as long as you're my wife, Maude.
The rights of the individual stop! when
255
00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:01,800
affects the marriage.
256
00:15:01,940 --> 00:15:03,520
Walter, I am me.
257
00:15:03,760 --> 00:15:07,560
And I was me long before I became Mrs.
You.
258
00:15:09,280 --> 00:15:10,920
You don't own me.
259
00:15:11,220 --> 00:15:12,220
Okay, Maude.
260
00:15:12,600 --> 00:15:13,600
Have it your way.
261
00:15:15,380 --> 00:15:17,080
Hey, you see this? You know what's in
here?
262
00:15:17,740 --> 00:15:22,600
The name and telephone number of a very
attractive little chick that works for
263
00:15:22,600 --> 00:15:26,640
me down at the store. She's crazy about
me. She keeps telling me how cute my
264
00:15:26,640 --> 00:15:27,640
bald spot is.
265
00:15:32,780 --> 00:15:35,560
are you going to do? I'm going to just
give her a call and ask her to spend the
266
00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:36,780
weekend with me in Atlantic City.
267
00:15:37,320 --> 00:15:38,640
Walter, are you crazy?
268
00:15:39,900 --> 00:15:45,200
Mort, I'm doing this strictly as an
individual, so it shouldn't affect our
269
00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:46,200
marriage, should it?
270
00:15:46,380 --> 00:15:48,260
Now listen, Walter, look.
271
00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:51,100
Walter, please put the phone down.
272
00:15:51,620 --> 00:15:56,000
Because, Walter, if you don't put the
phone down, the next call you make will
273
00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:57,000
dial a prayer.
274
00:16:02,060 --> 00:16:04,640
Now, Maude, you be reasonable. You're
going to spend this weekend in jail
275
00:16:04,640 --> 00:16:06,760
anyway. Look, put the phone down,
Walter.
276
00:16:06,960 --> 00:16:11,200
Look, maybe Arlene and I will stop by on
the way home and visit you in jail. Oh.
277
00:16:11,680 --> 00:16:12,860
Hello, baby. Wally.
278
00:16:13,920 --> 00:16:17,560
Wally? Yeah. How about this weekend in
Atlantic City?
279
00:16:17,820 --> 00:16:20,060
Walter, are you out of your mind?
280
00:16:26,100 --> 00:16:28,620
Do you realize you just ruined my
weekend?
281
00:16:32,140 --> 00:16:36,880
The only thing you can do to make me
forgive you for this is to give me the
282
00:16:37,500 --> 00:16:41,980
So the rights of the individual do stop
when it affects the marriage.
283
00:16:43,240 --> 00:16:44,240
Okay, Walter.
284
00:16:44,520 --> 00:16:45,520
You win.
285
00:16:45,980 --> 00:16:48,320
You've made your point. I see there's
nothing I can do.
286
00:16:49,380 --> 00:16:50,780
You keep the pot.
287
00:16:53,900 --> 00:16:55,240
What happened to the phone?
288
00:16:56,200 --> 00:16:58,160
Oh, you know, Maud, always redecorating.
289
00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:03,600
It was an accident.
290
00:17:03,800 --> 00:17:05,920
She wanted to tear the wall out of the
house.
291
00:17:07,740 --> 00:17:10,819
Boy, that woman is something else. What
are you talking about?
292
00:17:11,079 --> 00:17:15,160
Your mother, she just came into the
kitchen, grabbed some oregano, and said,
293
00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:18,180
Florida, to hell with it. I'm going to
jail.
294
00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:20,200
And she sailed out of there.
295
00:17:20,700 --> 00:17:23,300
Oregano? She took oregano to the police
station?
296
00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:27,420
Well, maybe she thinks the way I cook
Italian food is a crime.
297
00:17:32,430 --> 00:17:34,030
and invited me to spend the weekend with
him at last.
298
00:17:41,150 --> 00:17:43,050
She's coming! She's coming!
299
00:17:44,790 --> 00:17:49,710
She'll be here in a second. She's got
the pot with her. You'll be able to
300
00:17:49,710 --> 00:17:50,730
us all in a minute.
301
00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:54,950
Thanks. I can't tell you what a thrill
it is for me to be able to break the
302
00:17:54,950 --> 00:17:56,050
of organized crime.
303
00:17:57,390 --> 00:17:59,890
Now, would you mind moving to the other
part of the room? We've got to clear
304
00:17:59,890 --> 00:18:00,879
this aisle. No!
305
00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:03,960
Sergeant. Lady, you've heard of police
brutality?
306
00:18:07,060 --> 00:18:09,140
We're animals when we're unleashed.
307
00:18:11,160 --> 00:18:13,760
All right. Go on, girls. Please.
308
00:18:14,220 --> 00:18:16,160
We shall overcome!
309
00:18:17,480 --> 00:18:20,240
We shall overcome!
310
00:18:21,620 --> 00:18:26,580
I have the pot right here. But listen,
why don't you all stay up here and let
311
00:18:26,580 --> 00:18:29,080
talk to that gentleman. Maybe I can make
some kind of a...
312
00:18:29,719 --> 00:18:32,440
rather than have to give each of us her
own part of money.
313
00:18:32,940 --> 00:18:38,260
But are you the man I report to?
314
00:18:38,460 --> 00:18:43,020
Yes, ma 'am. All right, well, here, I
have enough pot to arrest myself and my
315
00:18:43,020 --> 00:18:46,360
friends for possessing more than a
quarter of an ounce. I know, I know.
316
00:18:46,980 --> 00:18:50,240
Well, fine, then print us, mug us, book
us, and beat us up.
317
00:18:52,540 --> 00:18:56,420
Lady, we need the evidence as far as
beating you up goes.
318
00:18:57,040 --> 00:18:58,860
One on one, I think we'd lose.
319
00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:03,420
Ladies, listen, come on, we're going to
be arrested.
320
00:19:04,680 --> 00:19:06,140
Get back, get back.
321
00:19:07,060 --> 00:19:09,600
Okay, lady, you win. I'll take you
first.
322
00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:10,800
Name, please.
323
00:19:11,040 --> 00:19:12,040
Maude Findlay.
324
00:19:12,560 --> 00:19:14,360
Married? At the moment, barely.
325
00:19:16,840 --> 00:19:17,840
Age?
326
00:19:20,360 --> 00:19:21,820
Lady, how old are you?
327
00:19:22,060 --> 00:19:26,250
Look. Officer, if there's a law that
requires a woman to tell her age, I'm
328
00:19:26,250 --> 00:19:27,310
to protest that, too.
329
00:19:28,090 --> 00:19:31,570
Now, get on with it. Okay, I'll just put
down how old I think you look.
330
00:19:31,770 --> 00:19:33,590
47, and I just saved your life.
331
00:19:36,030 --> 00:19:40,110
Maud, Maud, he wants to take a picture
of you getting arrested. Wait a minute,
332
00:19:40,170 --> 00:19:43,710
that's against regulations. Come on,
smile, Sergeant. Try to look pleasant.
333
00:19:43,930 --> 00:19:46,170
Think of it as one small step for
mankind.
334
00:19:46,930 --> 00:19:50,970
Okay, lady, I got your picture.
335
00:19:51,450 --> 00:19:54,310
Now give me the marijuana or no arrests
and that's final.
336
00:19:55,250 --> 00:19:56,250
Okay.
337
00:19:56,910 --> 00:20:00,870
No need to do that. I mean, if you've
seen one bag of marijuana, you've seen
338
00:20:00,870 --> 00:20:01,870
them all.
339
00:20:01,910 --> 00:20:04,590
Wait a minute, lady. That don't look
like marijuana.
340
00:20:05,290 --> 00:20:06,670
All right, I'll give you one more look.
341
00:20:09,750 --> 00:20:12,290
I didn't get a good look, but I got a
good smell.
342
00:20:12,830 --> 00:20:13,830
That's oregano.
343
00:20:15,680 --> 00:20:20,100
It's amazing how many people who don't
know the real stuff think that.
344
00:20:20,300 --> 00:20:21,460
Lady, I'm Italian.
345
00:20:21,660 --> 00:20:23,200
I've been on oregano all my life.
346
00:20:25,560 --> 00:20:31,360
I knew you were Italian. You remind me
of some famous person. I can't remember
347
00:20:31,360 --> 00:20:36,400
who. Mrs. Finley, there's no Italian
celebrity that's going to flatter me.
348
00:20:37,140 --> 00:20:38,280
The Pope.
349
00:20:40,740 --> 00:20:45,170
Oh, forget it. There's nothing on the
Pope. about smoking oregano.
350
00:20:47,970 --> 00:20:50,810
Now listen, Sergeant, come closer.
351
00:20:53,070 --> 00:20:54,190
What's your name, honey?
352
00:20:55,810 --> 00:20:58,190
Lazario, Sergeant Joseph Lazario.
353
00:20:58,470 --> 00:21:01,230
Tell me, Joey, do you have any children?
354
00:21:01,590 --> 00:21:02,569
Yeah, two.
355
00:21:02,570 --> 00:21:05,850
Who might at any moment be thrown into
jail for smoking pot?
356
00:21:06,090 --> 00:21:09,670
Lady, my youngest one turns on by
playing with her toes. She's two.
357
00:21:11,780 --> 00:21:16,920
Please, think of this as marijuana,
Joey, for your children's future and for
358
00:21:16,920 --> 00:21:19,660
sake of a sweet kid named Harold
Collins.
359
00:21:19,900 --> 00:21:21,300
Lady, have a heart. I'm exhausted.
360
00:21:21,820 --> 00:21:24,580
Why didn't you tell me, you silly?
361
00:21:26,280 --> 00:21:31,100
I have just the thing for you. Here,
take one of these. You'll feel better
362
00:21:31,100 --> 00:21:32,100
away. What is it?
363
00:21:32,420 --> 00:21:37,620
Dexamil. Go on, take it. In police
parlance, it's an upper. I know what it
364
00:21:37,820 --> 00:21:38,820
No, no, lady.
365
00:21:39,110 --> 00:21:40,990
I want to arrest you, but I can't,
honestly.
366
00:21:41,190 --> 00:21:44,030
Now, look, Joey, I have had a very rough
day.
367
00:21:44,850 --> 00:21:47,370
I had the real pot.
368
00:21:47,650 --> 00:21:51,910
The real pot. I had it, but after three
days of fighting with my husband and no
369
00:21:51,910 --> 00:21:55,890
sleep and taking abuse from my next
-door neighbor, my husband took it away
370
00:21:55,890 --> 00:21:57,590
me just 20 minutes ago.
371
00:21:57,970 --> 00:22:04,070
Now, look, Joey, I've had it up to here.
All over the state, 146 women are being
372
00:22:04,070 --> 00:22:05,550
mugged and fingerprinted.
373
00:22:06,030 --> 00:22:10,870
Now, Joey, if you don't arrest me and my
friends, may the Lord have mercy on
374
00:22:10,870 --> 00:22:16,110
your police station, because you are
going to have eight screaming middle
375
00:22:16,110 --> 00:22:19,070
women pulling a sit -in stark naked.
376
00:22:26,650 --> 00:22:27,650
Tom!
377
00:22:29,630 --> 00:22:31,450
Tom, save us all.
378
00:22:32,150 --> 00:22:34,430
Go down a block and buy this lady some
grass.
379
00:22:45,870 --> 00:22:49,870
That's right, lady. We know where it is.
We just don't have time rounding it all
380
00:22:49,870 --> 00:22:53,890
up. But don't worry. I'm going to arrest
you, okay?
381
00:22:55,010 --> 00:22:59,890
We are definitely going to be arrested.
382
00:23:02,270 --> 00:23:05,030
Lorraine, Lorraine, please. We already
overcame.
383
00:23:06,010 --> 00:23:07,230
Hold it, hold it.
384
00:23:08,190 --> 00:23:09,590
Just got orders from upstairs.
385
00:23:09,790 --> 00:23:10,910
Everybody go home.
386
00:23:13,840 --> 00:23:15,580
Sergeant, I don't understand.
387
00:23:15,900 --> 00:23:18,580
There's nothing to understand. Just go
home, please.
388
00:23:18,980 --> 00:23:22,080
But Sergeant, in a minute I'm going to
have the real stuff.
389
00:23:22,400 --> 00:23:26,080
Lady, I just got the word. We ain't
arresting no housewives from New York
390
00:23:26,080 --> 00:23:28,740
today. Oh, now look, you're not going to
get rid of us that easy.
391
00:23:28,940 --> 00:23:32,220
Now look, lady, it don't make a
difference now. Go home, will you?
392
00:23:32,620 --> 00:23:33,960
Sergeant. Lady, go home.
393
00:23:35,040 --> 00:23:37,000
Sergeant, what happened to the Collins
kid?
394
00:23:38,840 --> 00:23:40,260
Judge gave him three years.
395
00:23:43,919 --> 00:23:44,919
Three years?
396
00:23:50,060 --> 00:23:56,460
Now, Mrs. Finley, if I ever got into any
trouble, I'd want you on my side.
397
00:24:25,160 --> 00:24:28,560
And Lorraine, be sure to remind everyone
to bring our own picket sign.
398
00:24:29,180 --> 00:24:33,220
What? What's going on? Oh, honey, I have
a million and one things on my mind,
399
00:24:33,260 --> 00:24:35,480
and I have to be in Albany by four o
'clock.
400
00:24:35,770 --> 00:24:40,870
You already organized a trip to Albany?
And this time, Walter, we cannot fail.
401
00:24:41,330 --> 00:24:45,170
Honey, we have a thousand women from all
over the state who are going to picket
402
00:24:45,170 --> 00:24:46,410
in front of the governor's mansion.
403
00:24:46,690 --> 00:24:50,670
We got 80 women from just around here.
We chartered a bus, and I have to go or
404
00:24:50,670 --> 00:24:52,930
I'll miss it. Walt, you are sensational.
405
00:24:53,610 --> 00:24:57,090
Is there anything that I can do to help?
Oh, honey, don't be silly. You've done
406
00:24:57,090 --> 00:24:59,010
more than enough. You rented the bus.
407
00:25:22,800 --> 00:25:25,600
Maud was recorded on tape before a live
audience.
34889
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