Original subtitles

Greetings, Bat-fans. This is Batman.

And Robin, the Boy Wonder.

And me too, Bat-Mite.

Welcoming you to The New Adventures of Batman.

Watch us wage our never-ending battle of good versus evil.

Ride with us as we chase the greatest array of villains

the world has ever seen,

proving that crime does not pay.

Get set for thrills and action.

Join me, Batman.

And me, Robin, the Boy Wonder.

And Batgirl.

And me too, Bat-Mite.

In the super New Adventures of…

…Batman.

Ah! It is just as I expected.

The perfect place from which to operate.

But it does need a little something to make it more homey.

That's better.

Now I can get down to business.

Who are the four vilest villains the planet Earth has to offer?

The Penguin. Perfect.

Ah, Clayface.

His talents will be useful.

The Joker and Catwoman.

Sometimes they can be careless,

but still an excellent choice.

I am pleased.

With their help, Batman and Robin should cease to be a problem.

What is this place?

I must be dreaming.

This is a nightmare if you're in it, Penguin.

Silence.

I am Zarbor,

and I have come from another dimension called Ergo

to make the four of you more rich and powerful

than you ever dreamed possible.

But there are two obstacles that stand in our way,

Batman and Robin.

And it will be your job to remove the Dynamic Duo.

Are you some kind of weirdo or what, my friend?

If this is a joke, it isn't funny.

I assure you, Joker,

this is not a joke.

I am deadly serious.

Enough of these games, Zarbor.

Get us down from here and let us see what you really look like.

You have spirit, Catwoman. I like that.

Request granted.

What are we doing here and what do you want with us, Zarbor?

Are you ready to talk business?

I want you to detain Batman and Robin

and that pesky Bat-Mite,

who also comes from my dimension.

Batman and Robin are zero.

I can handle them myself.

Sure you can, Joker.

That's why you were in jail.

You're both fools.

If anyone can handle the Caped Crusaders, I can.

Silence, all of you.

I will not tolerate failure.

Do you understand that?

Yes, Zarbor.

Then, as you earthlings say,

shall we shake on it?

That puts me up by a point, Bruce.

I've still got time, Dick. Twenty seconds left.

Yes, but I've got the ball.

Not anymore.

Five seconds left.

It looks good—

Tough luck, Bruce. I won.

That ball was going in, Dick. If Bat-Mite hadn't—

You call, Brucie boy?

Bat-Mite, have you ever been slam-dunked?

Bruce, the Bat-Signal.

The commissioner. Let's get moving.

Hey, wait for me, guys.

I guess I'm getting too old for this stuff.

We have a real mystery on our hands, Caped Crusaders.

The Joker and Catwoman have disappeared from the Gotham City Penitentiary.

Disappeared? You mean escaped?

No. I mean they disappeared into thin air.

Cell doors were locked, window bars untouched.

Holy Houdini. How is that possible?

That's what I want you two to find out.

We'll get right on it, Commissioner. Let's go, Robin.

Don't… Don't tell me I just missed 'em, Commissioner.

You just missed them, Bat-Mite.

I'm really out of shape.

The Dynamic Duo and that pesky Bat-Mite are headed for the Joker's hideout,

and that is where you will trap them.

I will not fail.

Nor I.

Me neither.

I do not know the meaning of failure.

Excellent.

Then I'll get you on your way.

With the Dynamic Duo and Bat-Mite out of the way,

there is no danger now of my identity being discovered.

Now I must get to work on those nuclear plants.

Soon Zarbor will rule Ergo.

All right, my fellow workers,

here is my plan.

Your plan?

Who made you boss of this chicken outfit, Penguin?

The most brilliant is normally the leader.

And obviously…

I am the smartest in this foul crew.

You have nothing but that ridiculous umbrella, Penguin,

while I have the power to change.

It's definitely an improvement, Clayface.

Brute strength won't collar Batman and Robin, Clayface.

We have to use the cunning of a cat.

This is my house, and in my house

I am the boss.

All right, Joker, we're listening.

What's your plan?

This is my plan.

That is the silliest plan

I've ever seen!

What makes you so sure the Dynamic Duo will stand on that trapdoor?

Because there is more…

than one.

You and I are gonna make a great team, Joker.

You handsome hunk of clown, you.

You really think so?

On second thought, I'd rather work alone.

Now, Caped Crusaders,

I await your arrival.

- Ready, Robin? - Ready.

Activate Batapults.

Let's go!

You guys aren't hidin' from old Bat-Mite, are ya?

That's what I figured.

Oh, boy, I'm too pooped to pop off.

Maybe I oughta start takin' some more vitamins.

Soon, all of the world's nuclear plants

will be mine.

Now, on to the next one.

A villain's work is never done.

That was a dirty trick, Catwoman.

And I don't find your practical jokes very funny, Joker.

Quiet, you fools.

Yes, how do you know the Dynamic Duo aren't already here?

I'm not as dumb as you look.

If Batman and Robin are here,

my heat sensor will detect them.

They're in my Joke Room in the South wing.

Knowing they're here is one thing,

catching them is another, Joker.

You take me for a fool?

That room is full of trapdoors.

Holy high-rent district, Batman.

There must be a million rooms in this house.

But no sign of the Joker.

I have the sinking feeling we're being set up, Robin.

This floor's full of trapdoors.

The door.

They're heading for the door.

Your silly plan isn't working, Joker.

They are still there.

Then I'll spring my funny little surprise on them.

Gone.

I told you I'm a genius.

Batman and Robin are in the bag.

Holy bagged birds. What do you think, Batman?

Solid steel, Boy Wonder.

No doors. No windows.

Enjoying your accommodations,

Dynamic Dunces?

That little room is absolutely escape-proof.

So stick around, why don't you?

I'd like you to meet our host.

Are you sure that cell is escape-proof, Joker?

Would I lie to you, Penguin?

Those walls are solid steel.

A laser couldn't cut through it.

A brilliant plan, Joker.

By the time the Dynamic Duo are found, we'll be rich.

Yikes!

Ah! What happened? Where am I? What…

Oh, boy, after that nap, I feel like a million bucks.

Make that a buck and a quarter.

Lasers won't do it, Robin.

This must be a special kind of steel.

I'll try the Bat-roto.

Its supersonic-speed titanium drill

should cut through that with no problem.

Anybody home?

Oh, boy, this place gives me the creeps.

What's that?

Lemme outta here!

I'm through the wall, Batman.

Good. Start moving up now, so we'll come out beyond the house.

Right.

Oh, boy, I'm glad to be outta that place.

Now, if I could only find Batman and Robin.

Yikes! A giant gopher.

Help. Help.

Bat-Mite, you ding-dong. It's me, Robin.

Boy Wonder. Am I glad to see you.

Robin, would you mind getting off my back?

Holy piggyback. Sorry, Batman.

Go ahead, Commissioner.

Batman, dozens of nuclear plants have vanished

in the last hour and a half,

and the country will experience the worst energy crisis in history

if they're not recovered within 12 hours.

How many plants are left, Commissioner?

Just one. The largest in the world.

The offshore plant at bayside?

Right. You and Robin get out there, and fast.

We're on our way, Commissioner.

Holy rip-offs, Batman.

Who could possibly steal ten nuclear plants?

I don't know, Robin, but I have a hunch

our four villainous friends are behind this.

Batman, what…

Don't worry, Bat-Mite, we won't sink.

Get ready, Robin.

Ready, Batman.

Retract the wheels.

- Wheels retracted. - Activate Bat-skis.

- Oh, boy. - Bat-skis activated.

All right!

Oh, what a perfectly lovely sight.

All that power.

Mine for the taking.

Breaker, breaker.

Hey, good buddy, have you got your ears on?

No sign of the local yokels, Smokey Bears, or county Mounties.

What's your handle, Zarbor?

I have no idea what you're talking about, Joker.

All that concerns me is the status of Batman and Robin.

We're eastbound, and we're strutting style and…

Answer him, Joker.

He doesn't want to hear all that foolish CB gibberish.

Where are Batman and Robin?

Ten-four, Zarbor.

The Dynamic Duo are safe and sound at my house

in an escape-proof cell.

I am pleased.

Your efforts will be rewarded.

Prepare to be teleported back to the cave.

As you can see, I have also been busy,

but the biggest plum has yet to be plucked.

Make yourself at home.

I shall return shortly

and then we will discuss your future.

Ta-ta.

Hey, there's a boat comin' right at us.

It's Batman and Robin.

Ahh.

The biggest prize of all.

Holy boa constrictors. I can't believe this, Batman.

That nuclear plant just shrunk down to the size of a toy.

That sounds like Electro's handiwork.

He's the only one I know with those kinds of powers.

But that's impossible. Electro's in prison.

Zarbor.

What did you say, Bat-Mite?

Zarbor is public enemy number one in my dimension of Ergo.

He has the ability to shrink things,

plus a lot more powers that I'd rather not think about.

But what would he be doing down here on Earth?

I dunno, unless,

it's because of that energy shortage we're having on Ergo.

That's why he's shrinking the nuclear plants,

to transport them back to his dimension.

I see him.

He's in a submarine, picking up the shrunken plant.

Holy sinking submarines. It's diving, Batman.

I've got him on sonar.

Get the diving gear ready, Robin. We'll need it.

So, Batman and Robin are free.

I should have never trusted those fool earthlings.

Now I'll shall have to take care of the Dynamic Duo myself.

You comin', Bat-Mite?

You guys go ahead.

I think I'd better stay here and guard the Batmobile.

Holy chicken livers.

You're not afraid of Zarbor, are you, Bat-Mite?

Me, afraid? Don't be silly, Boy Wonder.

Bat-Mite is afraid of nothing.

Zarbor is a piece of cake.

Look at those hands.

Rock steady.

Holy scaredy-cats.

I won't add insult to injury, Bat-Mite. See ya later.

Where were you when I needed you? Saps.

My job here is now complete.

I have every major nuclear plant in the world inside that case.

But you couldn't have done it if I… I mean, we,

hadn't captured Batman and Robin.

Yes, of course. Batman and Robin.

You're absolutely positive

they couldn't have escaped from your cell?

I'd stake my reputation on it.

Your reputation's not a steak, Joker. It's a hamburger.

You're all fools. Look at this.

Is this some kinda joke?

I should have known that as mere earthlings,

you would be incompetent.

I shall take care of the Dynamic Duo myself.

Holy hanging bats. What's going on?

I can't move.

So, you are the legendary Batman and Robin?

And I'd heard you were such big, courageous crime-fighters.

But right now, you look rather helpless.

You are Zarbor?

Ah, my reputation precedes me.

I suppose that little runt, Bat-Mite, told you?

By stealing those nuclear plants,

you've put a lot of people in danger.

That's right. The hospitals will run out of emergency power in 12 hours.

Oh, you're breaking my heart.

What's our next move, Zarbor?

My next move is to say goodbye.

Goodbye?

I'm taking the nuclear plants back to Ergo.

In other words, you're pulling a double-cross.

Yes, but just think,

I've given you Batman and Robin to play with.

Have an evil day.

Like the man said,

we have Batman and Robin to do with as we please.