Original subtitles

Greetings, Bat-fans.

This is Batman.

And Robin, the Boy Wonder.

And me too, Bat-Mite.

Welcoming you to The New Adventures of Batman.

Watch us wage our never-ending battle of good versus evil.

Ride with us as we chase the greatest array of villains

the world has ever seen,

proving that crime does not pay.

Get set for thrills and action.

Join me, Batman…

And me, Robin, the Boy Wonder.

And Batgirl.

And me too, Bat-Mite.

In the super New Adventures of…

…Batman.

Shut up already.

Gentlemen, welcome to YUC…

the Yearly Underworld Convention.

And tonight, we's gonna elect our new YUC-y president.

Our first candidate is the famous Penguin,

here on my left.

If I am elected, I promise to—

And on my right is our second candidate,

the Joker…

Uh, who ain't here yet.

Boo! Hiss!

Sorry I'm late, fellas,

but I had to make a little withdrawal at the bank.

I take good care of all my friends.

Remember that when you're voting.

Gentlemen, it looks like my opponent, the Joker,

wants to play dirty pool,

so I'll have to play dirtier

if I want to be elected YUC's next president.

And what could be dirtier

than turning Batman and Robin to a life of crime?

Penguin, if you can turn Batman and Robin into criminals,

I'll gladly let you win.

It's a deal, Joker.

And something tells me I'll get the last laugh.

We'll know soon enough, Gigi,

if my brilliant but untested crime-slime

is going to work.

Gosh, you're smart, Boss.

How right you are, my dear.

Now, release our two subjects.

Keep your fingers crossed, Gigi.

Right, Boss.

It's working.

The crime-slime is working.

The mouse's personality has been completely reversed.

He doesn't have a kind bone in his mean little body.

Now, to test my crime-slime on real people.

Right, Boss.

The Penguin!

Let's get outta here.

Penguin, youse is my kind of guy.

Yeah. Keep up the bad work, Penguin, old pal.

Hey. You want some money?

I thought you'd never ask.

Whee!

The crime-slime works.

Now what, Boss?

Now we go after the big game,

Batman and Robin.

If I get this spare, it's all over, Dick.

"If I get a spare, it's all over, Dick."

Sorry.

It must have been something I ate.

I've got a little tickle in my throat.

Dick, bowling is a game of concentration.

And I can't concentrate with all your noise!

Sorry. No more coughs. I promise.

Bless you.

Now, don't get excited, Bruce.

Yeah. Don't get excited, Bruce.

Uh-oh. Looks like trouble.

Let's go.

Saved by the Bat-Signal.

The Penguin is back,

and he's got something up his sleeve.

Watch this.

I, the infamous Penguin,

perpetrator of paramount crimes,

harlequin of whodunits, and fly in the ointment of justice,

is throwing in the towel. I…

quit.

Going out of business. Kaput.

I'm turning myself in.

Wait. It gets better.

But I will turn myself over only to Batman and Robin.

No one else.

Ten o'clock tonight, at Old Sutter's Mill.

Be there…

or be square.

Holy broken beaks!

He must be kidding if he thinks we're gonna fall for that.

It's an obvious trap, all right, Robin,

but we have to take the bait and see what the Penguin's up to.

Want any of my men in on this, Batman?

Not yet, Commissioner.

The two of us had better handle it alone.

You mean the three of us, don't you, Batman?

No, Bat-Mite. In this case, three's a crowd.

- But— - Stay here, Bat-Mite.

Let's go, Boy Wonder.

Well, why do the big guys have all the fun?

There's Sutter's Mill up ahead, Batman.

Help!

Robin, put the searchlight on that tree.

Somebody help me!

Holy damsel in distress.

And there's the Penguin.

Take care of the girl, Robin.

I'm going after the Penguin.

Right, Batman.

I'll use the ejector.

Help me! Please!

Sit tight, lady. I'm coming.

Time to put a stop to this nonsense.

Okay, lady. We're halfway home.

Oh!

You're so strong.

I just hope I'm strong enough to get you down.

Fun's over, Penguin.

A dummy.

The Penguin tricked me with a remote-control car.

But why?

Robin.

You ready, lady?

Ready, Boy Wonder.

Where's Batman when I need him most?

Are you all right, Boy Wonder?

Uh, except for a pounding headache, an aching back

and some loose teeth, I feel fine.

And now you're mine.

Penguin. What?

You won't get away with this, Penguin.

But of course I will, dear boy.

Batman is off on a wild Penguin chase.

Gigi, if you would be so kind.

Robin, this is Batman. Can you hear me? Over.

Hiya, Caped Crusader.

Not now, Bat-Mite. I have enough problems.

Hey. Where's the Boy Wonder?

That's one of the problems.

I'm afraid the Penguin's probably got him.

Don't look so lonely, Wonder Boy,

you'll have company soon.

Yeah, when Batman follows the signals from your wrist radio,

he's gonna fall right into our trap.

You sure are smart, Boss.

How true, my dear. How true.

With my brains and your brawn,

even the great Dynamic Duo will soon be putty in our hands.

Gigi, I think our prey is on its way.

Here comes the Batmobile.

Is the crime-slime ready?

Ready, Boss.

One shot of this stuff, and Batman and Robin will be

Badman and Robber.

Ah, I can see the screaming headlines now,

"Dynamic Duo Turn Rotten. Caped Crusaders on Most Wanted List."

Oh, I love it. I love it!

That's the Penguin's hideout up ahead.

I'm gonna try to catch the Penguin by surprise,

Bat-Mite, but I need your help.

You do? I mean, sure, sure. Name it, Batman.

Drive the Batmobile up to the house, then turn off the lights and sit tight.

- I'll take care of the rest. - You got it, Batman.

Good. Now stand by. I'm going to eject.

Oh, boy. I should've asked Batman how to stop this thing.

Perfect.

The Batmobile's driving straight to our front door.

Just as I knew it would.

And in a moment,

Batman himself will be dropping in.

Hey. What is this?

It's called a raid.

And you're under arrest.

Whoa, car, whoa!

Maybe this'll stop it.

Oh, boy. I made a Bat-boo-boo.

Let's go, Penguin.

Your bad guy days are over.

Bat-Mite, I thought I told you to stay with the Batmobile.

Oh, I did. Until the Batmobile gave me the Bat-boot.

You're a little fool, Bat-Mite,

just like your caped friends.

It's finally happened, Robin.

- I've gone batty. - No, you haven't.

Somehow that crime-slime has switched their personalities.

Crime-slime?

The stuff that came out of Penguin's umbrella just now,

it was supposed to turn us into criminals.

But instead it turned Bat-Mite and Penguin into each other.

I am not the diabolical dude of dastardly deeds for nothing.

You know I always have a trick up my sleeve.

Hand me the crime-slime, huh, Gigi.

What? Oh, sure.

Now that we have the Dynamic Duo in custody,

we shall proceed with my plan

to convert them into a couple of baddy two-shoes.

Right, Boss.

All right, Batman and Robin.

Say goodbye to your goody-goody

Mr. Nice Guy images,

because two puffs of my crime-slime,

and you will be even nastier than me.

No one could be nastier than you, Penguin.

That's what you think. Hit it, Gigi.

Holy caged birds.

Hey, uh, why, uh, listen, fellas, I'd like to stick around here,

but there's something I gotta take care of.

My health.

He's Bat-Mite, all right.

Keep your fingers crossed, Gigi.

My future as a vile villain

is now in the hands of the crime-slime.

Now to see if they pass the bad-taste test.

You feel any different, fellows?

I thought we were buddies, Penguin.

What're you keeping us down in this dump for?

Yeah. We got places to go and crimes to commit.

Well, now.

You sound like a man after my own heart, Robin.

He's really after your wallet, Penguin, so hang on to it.

Oh, this is perfect. Perfect.

With my brains and their brawn,

we'll turn this town on its ear.

Batman, I need a favor.

Name it, old buddy.

Yeah. But make sure it's against the law.

After all, we might as well have some fun doing it.

I love your attitude.

Now, here's what I want you to do.

You're doing just fine, boys.

Hang a left at the next corner.

Roger, Boss.

One left, coming up.

There it is, Robin.

The Midas Meteorite.

A ten-ton chunk of solid gold from outer space

worth more than a billion dollars.

And it's ours for the taking.

All right, my caped crooks, enough chatter.

Let's get on with the job, shall we?

Relax, Penguin.

Ripping off this meteorite's going to be a piece of cake.

Bat-gyros away.

I don't believe it.

Batman and Robin are stealing the Midas Meteorite.

Batman and Robin.

Compliments of the Penguin.

What's the matter, Joker?

Suddenly, you're no longer laughing.

Something's wrong.

You sound like the Penguin,

but you sure don't look like him.

Yeah, but anybody that can pull off a caper like this

sure has my vote for President.

- Mine, too. - You know it.

- He's a genius. - Bright man.

- What about us? - Yeah. Don't we get any credit?

Credit for what, my caped cohorts?

For our acting.

When you trapped us in your basement, we put these mini-masks on

to protect us from the crime-slime.

We've been in constant radio contact with Commissioner Gordon,

and you're all under arrest.

Okay, Commissioner, come on in and get 'em.

Penguin, you birdbrain!

You've been tricked!

Correction.

You've been tricked.

Bye-bye.

Holy fast escape. What do we do now, Batman?

I figured this might happen, Robin.

That's why I summoned the Batboat by remote control.

Well, what do you know. The Batboat.

Don't those pajama-clad clods know who they are dealing with?

Nobody can catch me now.

I can. Gotcha.

Egad.

Do you realize what you've done, you bumbling boob?

We're out of control!

Unless we can stop them, somebody's going to get hurt.

How about the sonic wave transmitter?

Good thinking, Robin.

Yuck. I'm all wet.

All of a sudden, I feel strange.

All right, Penguin. I'm placing you under arrest.

You'll have to catch me first, Bat-Mite.

Holy ticklish tackle, Batman. Look.

Hold on, Bat-Mite. We're coming.

Let go of me, you little twerp.

Attaboy, Bat-Mite. Attaboy, hang in there, baby.

Yikes!

There they go.

But thanks to Bat-Mite, now we're close enough to stop them.

Nice work, Dynamic Duo.

That wraps this case up.

Thanks, Commissioner.

But we couldn't have done it without Bat-Mite's help.

You tell 'em, Caped Crusaders.

Besides, I saved this valuable piece of evidence.

Bat-Mite, be careful!

You know, Robin,

maybe we could have done it without his help.

Bat-message!

With all those bad dudes behind bars

and the meteorite back at the planetarium,

we've had a busy night, Boy Wonder.

I'm just worried that the Penguin's crime-slime

may have changed Bat-Mite's personality permanently.

Hiya, Caped Crusaders.

I'm all ready for our next crime-busting caper.

And I'm raring to go-go-go!

Still the same old Bat-Mite.