Original subtitles

Oh, man! Ain't nothing better than

Two Thousand Maniacs! I tell you. Right, Cigrit?

You damn right, Floyd. That Herschell Gordon Lewis. Genius.

He started it all. That man, he could take a crap on a plate

and I would sit down with some popcorn and watch it.

CIGRIT: Mmm-hmm. He was like the Frank DiCaprio of his time.

FLOYD: He started it all. There wouldn't be

none of them movies, would they?

The Chainsaw Massacre... CIGRIT: That was all him.

We saw the original right here. FLOYD: Right here.

Yeah. Y'all gotta watch it.

Tune in next week. Tell them why they gotta tune in next week.

CIGRIT: Next week? Blacula.

FLOYD: Oh, man. When you are right,

you are so gosh-dang right, Cigrit.

They are gonna be so scared, their pants will be full of urine cakes.

That's what's gonna happen.

Tune in, 'cause this is the best dang show you got here.

CIGRIT: And it's the only show you got here.

FLOYD: Tune in, or I'll shoot you dead! CIGRIT: I've seen him do it.

FLOYD: Yes, siree!

You all better tune in and watch the Trailer Park of Terror.

(DOG HOWLING)

Pretty girl.

Today's the day, babe.

You come work for Miss China.

Give Asian massage. Pretty girl make big money!

Well, hey, Norma! Hey, kiddo.

NORMA: Hey, Freddie.

You ain't leaving me, are you? I wouldn't leave you.

Where you slinking off to like that, pretty girl?

I don't recall giving you permission.

I don't answer to you.

What's it matter to you, anyway? Aw, hell, girl.

It don't matter a damn. I was just curious, that's all.

Aaron's coming here. We're going to a school dance.

Ooh, Aaron? Stop it.

Oh, now. Lookee here! Lookee here, y'all!

Oh, look at that, baby. Yeah. Stop it. Give me that.

He's here for me. Oh, sure he is.

Marv... Boys like that don't come

to places like this for girls like you, Norma.

They come for something else.

And I was just figuring on letting him know...

Get out of my way!

...how sweet you are behind that pretty little dress of yours!

You ain't never gonna lay a hand on me ever again. You understand?

STANK: What's wrong? Stop it.

(MARV LAUGHING)

MARV: You ain't never getting away from us, girl!

Well, you looking like a bitch in heat.

Y'all can shove that possum right up

your ass and be happy you're still alive.

You don't fucking talk to me like that.

I smell fresh meat!

(BARKING)

Norma, you ain't leaving us, are you?

No honey, I'll see you later.

♪ But it's our business so you mind your own

♪ Well, here come Norma, so hot and sweet

♪ She's looking just like a dog in heat

♪ I bet that bitch can turn a crank

♪ And make a dead man come like a Sherman tank ♪

Hi.

Hi, Aaron.

These are for you. Thank you.

I prefer roses.

What the hell do you think you're doing, Roach?

Well, me and Aaron here are just getting acquainted.

NORMA: Just ignore him. He don't know no better, just like the rest of them.

Hell, ain't you just like the rest of us, candy pants?

No. I'm not.

Hell, Norma, you got us under your skin. You ought to know that by now.

Let's get outta here. Hey, hey, hey. Whoa, hey, now.

Let's mind our manners. We ain't got acquainted with your fiance.

NORMA: Marv, leave us the fuck alone.

We gotta make sure his intentions are pure.

We's watching out for you.

Your rich daddy buy you this sweet ride, boy?

NORMA: Get outta the way, Stank.

Roach, give me those keys. Look what I got!

STANK: You are a rich boy, ain't you?

No. I bought it on my own.

Yeah, not everybody's a worthless shit-ass like you!

Did you hear that, Marv?

We got ourselves an achiever on our hands.

MARV: Well, well. An achiever.

Goddamn world-beater. Leave him alone!

I'm just talking to Big Bank Hank here.

Figure I might wanna hire him to be part of the team.

You could use an apprentice, couldn't ya, Stank?

You cannot find good help these days. MARV: That's right.

You need good help, and you gonna need some money

to keep up with sweet cheeks here.

Don't touch her! Don't touch me, Marv!

I'm gonna tell you something else.

You gonna need some skill and experience.

The kind that a man has, not a boy. We're just going to a dance.

MARV: Just going to a dance. It's gonna be a hell of a long dance...

Put it back! Leave him alone!

Hey, mister! You listen to me and you listen good!

I'm gonna give you a little marital advice, buddy.

Don't be expecting on your honeymoon,

when you dive deep into that well,

to look for pure water, 'cause I done primed that pump already.

And it's... You're a lying son of a bitch, Marv!

ROACH: Oh, hell, yeah! Boy, be a hero! He is an achiever! God damn!

Let's see how big a one he is! NORMA: Aaron!

(BODY IMPALING)

Ah, hell, Stank, never kick a fresh turd on a hot day.

STANK: Fuck you, Roach. You know I didn't mean to.

(NORMA CRYING)

No, no. Aaron! Aaron!

Oh, my God.

You pack of murdering faggot bastards!

Fuck you! Fuck you! Huh, Marv? No, don't you even look at me!

Huh? You want to touch me? You...

Baby, I'm sorry.

(SOBBING)

All I ever wanted... All I ever wanted was

for somebody to love me for me! For me!

Not the fucking whore that you think I am!

Get me outta this fucking hellhole!

You can all go straight to hell!

You can all go straight to hell!

Howdy.

You don't look so good.

I said you don't look so good, honey.

Do I know you?

No, you don't. But I know you.

Everybody around here does.

You're Norma, the trailer park queen.

Least, that's what all the boys say.

Get out of my way! You see, a girl like you

grows up with nothing, probably ain't gonna be nothing.

It's just the natural order of things. What do you know?

A lot. I know a lot.

I been around a long time, and I've seen

a lot of things. And it ain't your fault, child.

Yeah? Well, whose fault is it then?

It's their fault.

There's people holding you down, kicking you,

keeping you on their level,

taking away everything you ever had

and everything you ever wanted.

How do you know about that?

Listen to me. Do you want to get even

with everybody, with this shit, with the world?

If you want to get even, you gotta start now.

You see, I always say, "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned."

Or one that's been shit on all her life.

You know, the weaker ones among us would have you believe

that violence never pays.

I am not one of those people.

I say therein lies salvation

and eternal gratitude.

Now, do we have a deal?

We have a deal.

Norma.

(LAUGHING)

MISS CHINA: No! No! No!

(GUN FIRES)

MAN: Let's all get outta here now!

(SHOUTING)

(GUN FIRES)

NORMA: ♪ Born into this life, thought I was free

♪ But they held on like demons

♪ Never let me be

♪ So come to me, Satan

(GAS HISSING)

♪ Come take me, please

♪ I've lived, I'm done

♪ I'm tired as can be

PASTOR LEWIS: All right, people, let's go.

Make it quick.

Jesus!

ALEX: Hey, y'all.

My name is Bridget, and I'm a quitter.

Oh, no. Actually, I guess I never quit anything in my life.

That's why Mommy and Daddy sent me to Jesus camp.

Fuck you, Alex. I was abused as a kid.

So that means I can do whatever I want

and just shit on everybody else.

No, you don't know anything about me.

Oh, yeah. That's right, Goth bitch.

Like I don't know you turned to a liar to save your own ass!

But then I guess God just decided I needed another challenge.

Thank you, God. Thou shalt be teamed with a...

What do you fucking want? Do you ever take a break,

or are you always like this? I can take care of myself, okay, Michael?

ALEX: I'm always like this. Yeah. You don't think it's sad?

I'll tell you what, computer boy.

If I smacked your geek head to the ground,

and then kicked your fucking face in

until your whole goddamn queer body stopped moving,

that would be sad. Yeah.

PASTOR LEWIS: Hey, that's enough!

Amber, you got something you wanna add to the conversation?

Respect, people!

Stop staring at my ass, Jason. No, I wasn't...

I don't know anything about your ass.

Whoa, whoa! Yo, Twinkie.

Haven't you noticed in the time

you've been here that that one's taken?

Hey, people! You got that?

Yeah. Bathroom, soda, snacks.

Hey, hey. Hey!

Get inside. We gotta get back on that bus.

There's a storm coming. Come on.

Officer. How are you?

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

(COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING)

MAN 1: Just running hauls up in Cincinnati... MAN 2: Yeah.

I don't know why he wanted to take that run.

ANNOUNCER: (ON RADIO) Please be advised, a line of severe thunderstorms are moving

across middle Tennessee, northern Alabama and Georgia.

These storms are associated with strong

upper-level cold pressure systems...

(ANNOUNCEMENT CONTINUES)

Vertical Trinity. What's that about?

Dragging us up to the mountains and trying to save our souls.

Something like that.

Hope you plan on buying those snacks, son.

Yes, ma'am, he does. Hey, pay the lady.

ANNOUNCER: ...a severe storm warning for the Tri-State area.

Travelers are well advised to seek shelter.

This is a dangerous storm accompanied by heavy rain, high winds

and a strong possibility of tornadoes.

We are now getting reports of flooding and landslides on Highway 24,

and the highway patrol has closed

the route until further notice.

Just great.

ANNOUNCER: Travelers, please be advised, a line of severe thunderstorms

are moving across middle Tennessee, northern Alabama and Georgia.

That's some bunch of hell raisers you got there, mister.

They're not as tough as they like to pretend.

Nothing a good crack upside the head wouldn't straighten out, huh?

No, no. At Vertical Trinity, we don't believe

violence is appropriate discipline.

These are decent kids, they really are.

They just need a little guidance, that's all.

I think what he's trying to say is that we're fuck-ups.

Language?

Start rounding up the others for me, will you please, Bridget?

We're all about faith intervention.

By challenging these kids' limitations and negative self-images,

we show them there's nothing they can't do without faith and God's help.

Tell you what, while you keep on believing,

how about you reach in your wallet and count me out the 20 bucks

for the porno rags your little angel lifted?

They're really not bad kids. Yeah, and sometimes when I

turn my head just a certain direction,

I kinda think I look like Julia Roberts.

That ain't really worth a whole hell of a lot

in the rest of the world now, is it?

I guess not. Let's see here. I think I can take this bypass here.

You ain't serious? Why wouldn't I be?

That there road's hell in a storm.

And it ain't even real good in the broad daylight, neither.

He ain't from around here, is he?

About 8 miles, the road comes to a T,

you wanna take a left, and that'll take you up to the bypass.

(BOTH MOANING)

All right, hey! You two got about

10 seconds to finish up before we gotta go.

A full five more than you need, right, minute man?

Excuse you, Goth whore. Well, there's no excuse for you.

Hey, let's get a move on, troops...

You know you want this. Yeah. Like leprosy.

BRIDGET: I got her! Hey, Tiff!

Hey, Tiff. Hey! What are you...

Do you know what I had to do to get this?

I think I have an idea.

I finally get some shit, and you dump it all over the ground?

Jesus, Tiffany. Did you not get

anything out of this past week?

Yeah. A serious crave.

But thanks for helping me with that, Mom.

You know what? The bus is leaving. Let's go. Come on.

Now. Fuck!

Now. Man!

Jesus, this sucks!

(ENGINE STARTING)

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

AMBER: Yeah. Do it. Do it. Do it.

(ALEX SIGHS)

Hey, yo, Pastor. We there yet?

(ALEX LAUGHS)

For real, though. I just wanted to

thank you for this past week, man.

It was enlightening.

No, really. I think you worked miracles, man.

In fact, you got a whole bus full of them.

But, no, seriously, though. I'm seeing

big changes, Pastor. Big changes.

I mean, take my man Michael here.

I mean, I think the dude's actually starting to notice girls. Yeah.

Tiffany, I think she's just gonna stick to smoking dope now,

instead of scoring the hard shit all the time.

Jason, he's laughing, man, 'cause he knows he's changed.

He's downgraded his shoplifting just to soft-core porn now.

Which is good, 'cause the amount

that he whacks off, he'll be blind within a year.

And my girl Bridget, yo, her days

of five guys all at once, they're done.

She's just strictly a threesome kinda girl now.

Man. Her days of telling tall tales about her

messed-up childhood? Done. No more!

Take my old girl Amber.

I guess there's just some people

you can't save, you know what I mean?

You know what, Alex? This is a process, okay? Look out!

(KIDS SCREAMING)

ALEX: Jesus!

Everybody all right? Anybody hurt?

TIFFANY: My head. My...

Oh, fuck! Anybody have a signal?

(CELL PHONES BEEPING)

Looks like a dead zone. BRIDGET: Nothing.

There's no keys, nothing! TIFFANY: Oh, God.

I don't get it. Who leaves a truck

in the middle of the damn road?

TIFFANY: It's fucking weird if you ask me.

Yeah, it is fucking weird. I guess we'll

bow to your expertise in that department.

Fuck you! PASTOR LEWIS: Hey, there's a sign!

TIFFANY: What? "Trailer park." Let's go check it out.

Aw, dude, look at the sign! What?

The thing is probably long gone by now. Let's go. Follow me. Come on.

TIFFANY: No! Oh, yeah. That's a great idea.

We're stranded in a thunderstorm,

everybody head for the trailer park.

There won't be any freaks there.

But if there are, at least we have the Lord on our side. (SOBBING)

Hey, don't you think someone should stay with the bus?

MICHAEL: Bridget, wait up.

ALEX: Come on, baby. Catch up.

PASTOR LEWIS: Hey, there's a light! BRIDGET: Hurry up.

AMBER: I cannot believe someone actually lives here.

PASTOR LEWIS: Come on, guys.

Come on, let's get out of the rain now. You two. Hey, come on.

Hello?

Anybody home?

Hello?

Hello?

We've had an accident. We just need a phone.

Oh.

Oh, ma'am. Ma'am, we didn't mean to barge in, ma'am.

A man in my home.

This is really awkward. And me still putting my face on.

Children? Goodness, children!

Oh, where are my frigging manners? Come on in.

Sit! Sit. Sit, sit, sit!

Okay, I'm just gonna put my face on. I'll be right back.

If we could just use the phone.

Phone? Why would I have a phone?

I still think somebody should have stayed with the bus.

Let's just relax. This woman might be able to help us.

Uh, how is she going to help us if she doesn't have a phone?

Maybe she has a car.

Yeah. Maybe she's got a private jet out back on blocks, too.

PASTOR LEWIS: Alex, that's not helpful.

ALEX: Maybe she got some ponies

we can all ride, one for each of us.

Wouldn't that be fun? JASON: That would be nice.

Oh, shit!

ALEX: Those are some fucking ponies. AMBER: Alex. Stop it.

Sweet tea?

You didn't have to do that for us. Thank you.

Oh, it's nothing. Come on.

AMBER: Thank you. Oh, you're welcome.

Thank you. Precious, precious darlings.

PASTOR LEWIS: Thank you.

I'm Norma. I'm Pastor Lewis.

(STAMMERING) We had a little accident up there in the rain.

We're with the Vertical Trinity Ministries.

That's nice. This is swell and all,

but I think we should be getting back to our bus.

Let me know if y'all want yours a little harder.

This better? Yeah.

Look, ma'am... Norma, darling.

We could really use some help.

Oh, if y'all are looking for help,

you came to the right place.

TIFFANY: Jesus! MICHAEL: Oh, great.

PASTOR LEWIS: Now, just calm down. Uh-oh. Hold on.

This always happens. Don't worry about it.

PASTOR LEWIS: It's gonna be fine. It's gonna be okay, Tiffany, all right?

It's gonna be fine. Let's tell a scary story.

AMBER: Great.

Come on. I love a scary story. Come on, who's got one?

I know one of you has got one.

How about you, pepper pot? No?

Dark shadows, what about you?

Hell, you already look like one of the devil's daughters.

I know you got a scary story. I don't. I'm sorry.

Hmm. Nothing.

What about you, cupcake? No.

Come on, lady, look at her. She is a scary story.

Screw you, Alex. You're so fucking twisted.

AMBER: Wrong again, Tiffany. That would be your last name.

Let's knock it off, people.

What about her?

Why don't you tell us her story?

Well, every picture has one, right?

Shall I?

(SIGHS) Well, once upon a time, there was a lovely princess,

and she lived in a kingdom ruled by evil men.

She lived with her mama and her wicked stepfather.

You shouldn't do it. I don't know

why you let him do this to you.

Norma, not now.

But you gotta see what he is, Ma.

He's just taking advantage of you.

I know what he is. I could do worse.

Listen... Honey, I haven't got time to listen.

Damn it. I'm out of lipstick.

Mama, who gives a damn about your stupid lipstick, okay?

Stank ain't got a right making you do all that.

Who says he makes me do anything?

What, you like it?

Well, that's the art, making them think you like it.

Mama, you're not a good enough actress

to make anybody think you like stupid, fat Sheriff Keys.

He don't have to make you do that.

Well, it's all I know how to do, honey.

Look, would you just run over to China Girl and get me some more lipstick?

(SIGHS)

Come here, honey. Come here. Come to your mama.

Come sit down on your mommy.

I wish I knew who your daddy was. Your eyes are so beautiful.

Shut up, Ma. You are. You're so beautiful.

And you're so smart and I love you.

But I gotta do what I gotta do, so that you don't have to.

So you have a choice out there.

Not everybody's so lucky, honey.

MARV: Norma, get your ass out here!

Sorry, Mama, I gotta go.

Marv's paying me to help him with the load.

Okay.

(MARV GRUNTING)

MARV: Norma!

I'm coming! Don't get your panties in a wad!

(ROACH PLAYING GUITAR)

You're looking fine today, Norma.

MARV: Roach! Quit jacking off!

Get your lazy ass down here and help with this trailer!

Fuck you, Marv. I got my good shirt on.

Man. You're breaking my goddamn lock! What're you doing, brother?

You worthless piece of shit. Get that fucking thing out of my face.

You gonna get up in there and help us unload this,

or you gonna stand around and wait for your helmet to get polished?

Hey, man, let's get something straight, all right?

We got a deal. See, I drive the truck, and you rob me.

You wanna gnaw on a man's pecker

in the process? That shit's up to you.

Mack! Yoo-hoo. Hey, you come now! You come for number one massage!

Oh, I'm coming! You know that, rice cake.

Hey, little girl.

I don't pay you to stand around and watch your tits grow.

Now get your ass up there. Get some smokes over to China Girl's.

Get the salad dressing to Stank

for the product meat. Let's go.

I'm on the clock here, fucking people.

I do not have time! God damn it!

Yes, sir, shithead. Hey, Marv, I forgot.

Don't even contemplate fucking me

out of my percentage, you got that?

That's my jellyroll, big daddy.

MARV: China.

Number two massage.

MARV: Hey, hey, hey! Easy on that product.

Oh, shit! Oh, shit! Fuck!

You just look at one of these things

cross-eyed, they take you off at the knee.

What the hell is that?

Somebody's been getting in my pot fields.

Nobody touches my shit. Nobody.

Boom!

"Boom!"

Get that shit to Stank. God damn it.

(HUMMING)

Mama said tell you she's ready. Sheriff Keys here yet?

Yeah.

Y'all take these on over to Larlene's. She done paid for them.

Hell, no!

Take them now, you hear? No! She's nasty. She smells like a wet dog.

I ain't asking you to! I'm telling you to!

There is a difference.

NORMA: Well, we was in a shit heap, no doubt about that.

But me being a brave, young, death-defying princess and all,

well, Marv and Stank, they didn't put fear in me.

There wasn't much that could. But then there was Larlene.

I smell meat.

NORMA: Hello?

Give me my meat.

Come here.

I want to smell you.

(LAUGHING)

Get back in here, you juicy little bitch! I can catch you if I want to!

Stupid bitch.

MAN 1: Shit, man. Marv's on the move.

MAN 2: Stank's going to heaven.

NORMA: Thank you for the lipstick, Miss China.

(ENGINE STARTING)

Hey, that's my truck! No, no, no. Lay down. Relax.

God damn it. Someone's stealing my truck!

It means some fucking redneck's going to die. Get the fuck...

(NORMA'S MOTHER YELLING)

NORMA'S MOTHER: Do what job? What am I gonna do? Stick it up my ass?

What's the matter with you? I ain't sticking that up my ass!

KEYS: I didn't ask you to stick it up your ass.

NORMA'S MOTHER: I won't let you stick it up my ass.

KEYS: I ain't paying for lip now,

God damn it! I'm paying for pussy, by God.

NORMA'S MOTHER: Well, if you're paying

for pussy, then pussy's what you'll get.

I'll even give you some of this!

But Stank knows I don't do that kind of shit!

What the fuck's going on?

What, did somebody come through the

trailer park here and brought morality in?

Put the camera down, Stank!

You gonna let her get by with this shit?

STANK: No, Sheriff, she's feisty. Put the camera down!

STANK: But she knows what puts her food on the table.

Oh, what? Your fucking pork rinds? Your possum rinds?

Oh, yeah, I've been living off that! STANK: Come on, God damn it!

Just let him do it and get it over with! Do what?

STANK: It'll just leave a few bruises.

You can cover them up with all that

fucking makeup you wear anyway.

Let's get this job done.

Fuck you! STANK: Hey, watch the camera!

Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you! KEYS: Hold the camera. I got her.

Get your ass back here. STANK: There we go. Speed!

(SCREAMS) KEYS: Quit fucking around and stay still!

Hold you back. Get in. The close shot.

STANK: All right. Fuck off! Fuck you!

NORMA: Mom?

(SCREAMING)

JASON: Oh, shit.

God.

Did I scare ya? Oh, shit!

ALEX: That's a cool-ass story, lady. MICHAEL: So, what happened after that?

She got the hell out of there, right?

Actually, no.

I had to finish the video with Sheriff Keys myself.

Oh, that is so fucked.

TIFFANY: Completely fucked. Yes!

Hey!

Well, I guess it's like the old saying goes, you know.

Being beautiful, it's a blessing and a curse.

Wait. You hear that?

Rain's stopped.

MICHAEL: I want to get out of here.

PASTOR LEWIS: I'll figure it out in the daylight.

Okay. Now, I've kept you guys way too long.

NORMA: So y'all are staying here tonight.

I won't hear any argument.

I got plenty of space to hold you till morning.

Hey! TIFFANY: Oh, jeez.

ALEX: What the fuck is this place?

NORMA: Well... ALEX: The House of Fun?

NORMA: ...you probably don't realize it,

but y'all are standing in a little bit of history right here.

Long ago, truckers far and wide

used to stop here for a little R&R

in the middle of their long haul

through the good old southern U.S. of A.

So this used to be some kind of whorehouse?

Asian massage. Dibs.

I could sleep here, if that's okay. That's disgusting.

AMBER: Gross.

NORMA: Don't you worry yourself, sweetheart.

I got something more upscale in mind for y'all.

PASTOR LEWIS: Come on, girls. Let's go. It's okay.

NORMA: Well, come on in.

Don't be getting shy on me now.

I think there's a light in here somewhere.

PASTOR LEWIS: Oh, right.

(EXCLAIMING IN DISGUST)

NORMA: I know, it's a bit musty in here,

but just pretend like it ain't.

And there's just the one bedroom,

but y'all will figure it out, I'm sure.

Mr. Lewis? This is worse. BRIDGET: It'll be fine. It's just for the night.

Let's just be grateful that God has provided.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

Oh, no problem. This was the home of a genuine war hero, ladies.

He served his country, and he did it proud.

Well, it looks like he got nothing in return.

Hey. Thank you.

Thank you. We'll survive.

NORMA: Good night. Good night.

(WHISPERING) Lock the door. Lock it.

Check it out. It's a soft floor.

I wouldn't do that if I were you.

It's gonna hold. Would you do this? Would you do this, huh?

Ew!

I got the bedroom, losers.

There's no way I can sleep here.

Tiffany, it's just one night.

Right.

Ma'am, I can't thank you enough.

(SHUSHING)

My back door's always open. Nighty night.

It is with passion that we praise...

(SIGHS)

You can't do this, Gordon. You can't... (GASPS) Christ.

(BANGING)

Jesus! (SCREAMS)

Dude! You freaked us out! (LAUGHING) So?

So don't be sneaking around like that, asshole.

I was gonna knock, but the window was closer.

And it was scarier, huh?

Where's Amber? She is here, right?

No, fuck-nut. She upgraded to the honeymoon suite.

It's time for you two to leave.

TIFFANY: What? Now.

We're not going anywhere, Amber. Oh, okay.

Then you can just watch us. I'm sure you'd get into that freaky shit.

(MOANING) Yeah. Yeah!

You like that? Yeah? You wanna watch, you fucking bitch?

Yeah, you know she's into that freaky Goth shit. Yeah.

(MOANING)

ALEX: Oh, yeah.

(BOTH MOANING)

BRIDGET: It's official. This night cannot get any shittier.

(MAN BREATHING HEAVILY)

TIFFANY: Sorry. Watch it!

TIFFANY: Damn.

Just calm down, okay? TIFFANY: Oh, man.

This place is really freaking me out.

Wait!

(SCOFFS)

You gotta be kidding me. Pink flamingos?

(BRIDGET SIGHS)

It's a trailer park.

BRIDGET: Hello?

Hello?

Oh, man.

Come on.

No, don't. I don't wanna see what's in here.

Just try not to think about it and go to sleep.

God forgive me.

(EXHALES)

(MOANS)

(BOTH MOANING)

PASTOR LEWIS: We shouldn't be doing it.

This is wrong. We gotta stop.

Oh, hallelujah

No, we can't. This is sin.

Well, hell, ain't that half the fun of it, Reverend?

This is wrong. We gotta stop.

Go.

What are you?

What are you? Oh.

I see.

I'm not the same girl that you first met.

Huh?

I'm not the girl you fell in love with? I've changed. Is that it?

NORMA: Bring it back. I can't.

NORMA: Bring it back! I can't.

To hell with you, Reverend! Bring it back.

Come on, bring it back!

Yeah? Well, how's about a little head?

(PASTOR LEWIS GASPING FOR AIR)

(GRUNTING)

Well, damn.

Don't you know it ain't good to leave

your woman drying out in the sack?

(WOLF HOWLING)

(JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)

Hey, Mike, you hear that?

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

Whoa!

The Norma lady said we could stay.

I didn't know anybody else was here.

Number one massage.

Come.

I don't know.

So good for you.

Yes? No. No, no, no.

(MISS CHINA MUTTERING) Okay.

Whoa!

Good boy!

(SNIFFING)

Somebody's got smoke.

Yes. Such a good boy. (MOANS)

Such a big, big boy.

(EXCLAIMS IN SURPRISE)

Hello?

TIFFANY: Is this your stuff?

Fuck.

(HISSING)

AMBER: Stop. ALEX: Why would I wanna do that?

AMBER: God! Will you just fucking stop for a second?

ALEX: Stop playing. What?

(PANTING)

I have to go.

Go! What do you mean you gotta go?

Go where? You know. Go.

(ALEX SIGHS)

Well, hurry your ass back.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

(EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST)

(HEAVY BREATHING)

It's about goddamn time.

(GIRL MOANING)

Oh, fuck. Oh, yeah, Amber.

Oh, fuck! You are such a dirty girl, babe.

AMBER: Alex?

What the fuck?

Amber.

You are so fucking dead, bitch!

You got that backwards, darling. ALEX: Amber!

(SCREAMS) Howdy. I'm Marv.

(AMBER SCREAMING)

Come here, boy!

(GRUNTING)

Marv!

Get over here and tell me if this bitch is prettier than me.

Oh, shit, darling. She ain't nothing.

She looks a little used up, if you ask me. Ain't much for my taste.

Oh, God, God! Please help me. NORMA: God?

God took his ass out of here a long time ago, sweetheart.

If you want help, you best be asking Norma.

(TAUNTING)

NORMA: Shh, shh!

It's okay, baby.

(WHIMPERING)

(LAUGHING CREEPILY)

Hey, Marv, bring these assholes over to my trailer.

I just got me some inspiration.

(GRUNTING)

MARV: What now, huh?

(WHIMPERING)

NORMA: Some fun. MARV: Ah, shit, Norma.

We ain't got the goddamn time.

We gotta get a job done.

Shit! Now, God damn it, let's get the job done

and just have some fun, me and you.

Oh, God bless you, you're jealous.

It don't look good on you.

Well, nothing look good on you anymore.

MARV: You would. "You would."

Let's go, shit-stain! Come on!

(AMBER SCREAMING)

(MISS CHINA MOANING)

(MOANS)

(GRUNTS)

(BONES CRUNCHING)

You want a happy ending?

(MOANING)

MISS CHINA: Come on.

(MISS CHINA MOANING)

No happy ending?

No happy ending!

(GASPS)

Massage?

(SHRIEKING)

Oh, shit!

(GRUNTING)

(SWITCH CLICKS ON)

(PLAYING GUITAR)

You took my shit.

Nobody touches my shit.

(CHUCKLES) Oh, fuck! I'm tripping.

You wanna go on a trip, baby? Yeah.

(LAUGHING) Oh, man, this is some scary shit.

No.

This is the scary shit.

(TIFFANY LAUGHING)

ROACH: Give me a hand, baby!

(TIFFANY CONTINUES LAUGHING)

(SCREAMS)

(PANTING)

(WHIMPERING)

Oh, my God!

(CRYING) Oh, my God! Oh! Oh, my God!

ROACH: Where'd I go?

You can't see me.

MICHAEL: Bridget.

(GRUNTING)

Bridget. Bridget!

(GRUNTS)

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

(ROACH PLAYING GUITAR)

I see you, baby!

The King is coming!

(SCREAMING)

Ha ha!

(WHIMPERING)

Somebody help me!

(PANTING)

Oh, yeah!

(SCREAMING)

They're gonna write songs about what I do to you, bitch!

Oh, fuck!

Fuck! Hey! Hey!

You better watch your step over there, little girl!

You never know what kind of surprises I may have left in there!

Hey, hey, could be anything!

(LAUGHING)

Somebody help me!

Oh, Jesus! Tiffany.

ROACH: Maybe I laid a mine right there. Maybe I didn't.

You know what?

I can't remember what the fuck I did do!

Boom! Ha ha!

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

(WHIMPERING)

Oh, God!

(GRUNTING)

(GASPING)

Hey, hey!

It don't matter, no way!

You're still fucked, honey bunny!

You better hope they don't put me back together again, bitch!

'Cause if they do...

Shit, yeah!

Marv! Stank!

Uh!

My penis!

LARLENE: My meat!

(DOOR OPENING)

Where's my meat?

Where's my meat?

(SOBS)

(SNIFFING)

I smell meat.

(SCREAMS)

What kind of sorry shit are they sending me?

You're half-eaten already.

(GROWLING)

Please, God, I don't wanna die!

Please. I don't wanna die.

Sausage biscuit, I'm sorry.

I think maybe you best just go and get some help.

Missing your chicken wing like you are there.

(GRUNTING)

Oh, honey, I was just kidding!

You think I'm gonna let a prime... No!

...piece of rump roast like you out of my Crock-Pot?

TIFFANY: No!

Sit down. Just fucking... We won't tell anybody.

Of course you won't tell nobody.

Shut the fuck up.

(AMBER SOBBING)

Aw...

Beautiful. ALEX: Christ.

(SIGHS) All right, I know y'all are young

and you're full of lust in your hearts.

And I know y'all were back there having what they call

sex. Am I right?

Well, that's a goddamn fucking shame! Huh?

Pastor Lewis trying to teach you shit-ass kids a lesson

and you can't give him anything but disrespect.

Maybe you just ought to apologize to the Reverend.

(SCREAMING)

STANK: Get your black ass back on that bed.

No. AMBER: Fuck.

Matthew 14:15.

The Bible says having sex before marriage is a sin!

ALEX: Jesus fucking...

Drinking is a sin!

Drugs is a sin!

John 3:16, cuss words is a sin!

Acts 12! Jim Beam 40:11. Pussy's a sin.

Fucking's a sin! Sin! Sin! Sin! Sin! Sin!

(CHUCKLES)

Well, Reverend knows best.

So go ahead, apologize to the man.

Go on! Say you're sorry! ALEX: Okay, okay, okay.

Okay, okay. NORMA: That's it.

I'm sorry.

So, if I let you go, you'll stop your sinning ways?

Yes. I'll stop.

I'll stop.

Do you promise in Jesus' name you'll stop your sinning ways?

Yes.

Rev's dead, asshole!

Apologies ain't worth shit!

Apologies ain't worth shit! Fuck you!

Go to hell!

Oh, I already been to hell, darling. I already been to hell.

Did you get all that, Stank?

Fuck.

I forgot to hit "record." We've gotta take two?

Fucking idiot, Stank!

You don't do shit right, you jarhead, cracker-ass piece of shit!

This is what I get for making a shit-ass deal!

(GROANS)

(GRUNTING)

Oh, God!

(SCREAMING)

ROACH: What the fuck was that?

MARV: Bitch got one of my grenades.

You sure that duct tape's gonna work? MARV: Yes. It always works.

It don't always work. It don't always work.

What are you do... MARV: Oh, shit.

Hey! What're you doing, man? MARV: Where do these go?

ROACH: That goes on the inside!

What's wrong with you? MARV: Here, hold this.

ROACH: Hey, that don't go there!

Trying to get the leg on. Put that back in there.

Roach, you jackass! What'd I tell you about them claymores?

Damn it, Norma. I ain't in the mood.

NORMA: It wouldn't have happened

if you hadn't been messing around

with the goddamn things in the first place.

Hey! Now, damn it, didn't I just say I ain't in the mood?

In case you can't tell, I'm a little out of sorts.

Hey, hey, fuck the leg. The arm. The arm, man! The arm!

Oh, God damn it, Roach! If you all just listen to me one goddamn time!

Well, we don't now, do we? Them days are over.

ROACH: God damn, I can't believe I let that bitch go!

Got blowed up by my own goddamn claymore!

Just, hey, get my playing arm on

straight now. I feel a song coming on.

MARV: That's right.

You gotta play at our wedding.

That is right, Roach. You gotta play it, all right?

What is that song I like? What is it?

Heart Full Of Dirt. Heart Full Of Dirt.

Hot damn, that's it!

And it is gonna be beautiful, Norma, darling.

It's gonna be beautiful.

I imagine that wedding's gonna be just

as beautiful as you want it to be, Marvin,

'cause it's only gonna be happening in your head.

(LAUGHING)

Nobody hurts me like my baby! ROACH: She got you there, Marvin.

MARV: Kill me once, she just keeps right on killing me!

She'll come around. She's coming.

Ain't coming around, Marvin.

You just come when I call.

MARV: Oh, now.

You make my south rise again. (CHUCKLES)

What do you think?

MARV: Wow! You're beautiful, Norma.

Of course I am.

(ROACH MEOWING)

Too bad you boys will never have any of this.

(WHISTLES)

ROACH: Hey! Hey, lover boy.

Get back over here, and put my ass back together again.

I believe I just had a little inspiration myself.

(LAUGHING)

(PLAYING ROCK MUSIC)

♪ Oh, baby, you know you want it

♪ We gonna be some sexy sinners tonight

(WHIMPERING)

STANK: Come on, now, put your hand on her leg.

Else it won't be all sexy and shit.

♪ Don't make Stank beg

♪ Go on, feel that leg

STANK: Now head on up. Take your time.

Don't make me ask you twice, boy.

You get on up to that honey pot.

Keep going!

♪ You know you wanna touch her

♪ You know you gonna crush her

Oh, wow, it's getting awful racy now, don't you think?

Yeah, Stank, you wanna take it down a notch?

STANK: Move it on up.

On up.

Put them hands on her neck.

ROACH: ♪ She's a naughty little bitch

♪ Go on, scratch that itch

♪ You know you wanna touch her

♪ Yeah, you know you gonna crush her

STANK: Don't be a pussy. Get on. NORMA: Hold on a sec.

Hold on a sec.

It's time for my close-up.

Hey, there, baby doll.

Go away. Get the fuck away from me.

NORMA: You know what really turns me on?

Little girls like you.

(SCREAMING)

All right. I tell you what.

Look at me here, son, I got a deal for you.

You kill her and I'll let you go. Huh?

At least one of you gets away.

♪ Die! Die! Everybody's gonna die

♪ Cry for the camera don't be shy

(AMBER SCREAMING)

MARV: Come on, you asshole!

STANK: He can't do it.

Come on, boy. Don't you pussy out on us.

Fucking do the job.

ROACH: ♪ You know you ain't leaving

♪ Till her heart stops beating

♪ Die! Die! Everybody's gonna die

♪ Cry for the camera don't be shy

(SOBBING)

(MOTOR STARTING)

Shut the fuck up!

♪ Die! Die! Everybody's gonna die

♪ Cry for the camera don't be shy

♪ Die! Die! Everybody's gonna die

♪ Cry for the camera don't be shy ♪

STANK: This oughta

work out just fine. Boy's got some meat on him.

NORMA: Oh, you poor bitch.

Oh, you poor little bitch. There, there.

(DOOR CREAKS OPEN)

(DOOR CLOSING)

(FLY BUZZING)

(HUMMING)

(STANK CLEARS THROAT)

(CLEARS THROAT)

(SAWING)

(PANTING)

Gotta have me a little company while I'm working, boy.

You ain't lived

until you've had a piece of Stank's special jerky.

Now, it ain't quite ready.

(PANTING)

(ALEX GROANING)

Try a piece.

(LAUGHING SADISTICALLY)

How do you taste?

Fuck you! You fucking freak!

Bridget. Bridget, come on, we gotta get out of here.

Stop. Stop.

(SPITS)

(LAUGHING)

He's feisty!

Shit. Sorry. Sorry.

(ALEX SCREAMING)

No! Stop! What do you want?

I want your meat, boy!

(SCREAMING)

Oh! I found cars. I found cars. Come on, this way.

Howdy, I'm Marv.

(SCREAMING)

No!

Pussy!

(SCREAMING)

I'm your fucking bogeyman!

I'll get you, you fucking bitch!

Stank's jerky's got a few secrets to making it.

Best damn jerky you'll ever have in your life.

First secret's the marinade.

Stank's special recipe.

See, every jerky takes its own sauce.

Hell, I've decided

you just look like one of them Italian kind of guys.

(CHUCKLES)

(STANK HUMMING)

This might sting a little bit.

Now, the second secret

is the most important one.

Before my flavored meat goes into the curing shed,

I do something nobody else does.

Up we go.

Yeah. You see, you get a good piece of meat... No!

...you can't just stick it up on a hook.

You gotta give it that little something extra.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

I shall not fear... Fear...

You gotta fry it. As I walk through the valley...

'Cause everything tastes better fried.

BRIDGET: Oh, damn it. Damn it.

(GRUNTS)

Fuck!

Somebody help me!

Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.

(ENGINE STARTING)

I didn't say start your fucking engines!

Start your fucking engines!

Oh!

Bitch!

(MARV WHOOPING)

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

(SCREAMING)

Welcome to the trailer park, bitch!

Die, you bastards!

(LAUGHING)

Run, bitch! Run!

Oh, shit!

(WHIMPERING)

Fuck this. Fuck this!

BRIDGET: You know all I wanted?

All I ever wanted was to be loved for who I am!

For me, God damn it!

Not just some Goth whore who gives it up!

So I try to fix things and this is what I fucking get?

Fucking backwards redneck zombies from hell!

Fuck! You know what? Fucking kill me, you bitch!

And thanks for the favor!

Pretty girl.

ROACH: Sun's coming up, Norma.

You go on home now.

Tell them Norma sent you.

Come on.

(WHIMPERS)

Darling, let's get you up out of here.

Come on.

Lean on me. There we go.

Nice and easy. Here you go. Here you go.

Lean on me.

I'll get you in there. Nice.

There you are.

Nice, honey, here you go.

Let me get your legs. One, there's the other one.

All right?

I'll take you to the truck stop,

and you can call somebody to pick you up from there.