Original subtitles

♪

[HEAVY-METAL MUSIC PLAYS]

[KILLOLA'S "CRACKS IN THE ARMOR" PLAYS]

[DOG BARKS IN DISTANCE]

♪ I

♪ HATE

♪ WHEN

♪ PEOPLE SAY, "HO-O-O-W HAVE YOU BEEN?" ♪

♪ 'CAUSE

♪ I'M

♪ A RELATIVELY NICE GIRL

♪ BUT I'LL LI-I-I-E EVERY TIME

♪ IT'S NOT YOU, IT'S ME

[EVE] MOM?

DID DAD CALL YET?

[MOM] WHAT?

DID DAD CALL?!

NO!

♪ JUST KNOW I NEVER

-EVE? -UH-HUH?

HURRY UP! YOUR FRIENDS ARE HERE!

I'M COMING.

♪ SO I'M SORRY IF I STAY IN BED ♪

♪ GOTTA DO MY BEST

♪ FIX WHAT'S LEFT OF MY HEAD

♪ I DON'T MEAN TO CAUSE AN UPROAR ♪

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

♪ IT'S JUST THESE CRACKS IN THE ARMOR ♪

♪ DON'T

YOU CAME.

[LIZA] MY MOTHER MADE ME.

IS SHE MAKING YOU STAY?

DO YOU WANT ME TO LEAVE?

DO YOU WANT TO LEAVE?

ARE YOU ASKING ME TO GO HOME?

DO YOU ALWAYS ANSWER QUESTIONS WITH QUESTIONS?

DO YOU?

OH, MY GOD. ARE YOU SERIOUS?

HELLO, EVE!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

TELL RUTH I SAID HI!

OKAY!

WELL?

"WELL," WHAT?

DO YOU WANT ME TO GO HOME?

BETTER TELL ME BEFORE MY MOM TAKES OFF.

IF YOU LEAVE, I'LL GET IN TROUBLE.

[SARAH] HI, LIZA.

I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE INVITED.

WELL, COME ON.

[DOOR HINGES CREAK]

HAVE FUN!

[DOOR SLAMS]

I'LL BE COOL IF YOU'RE COOL.

I'M COOL.

COOL.

UM, PRESENTS THERE.

CHOCOLATE CAKE.

PEPPERONI AND VEGGIE PIZZA.

TAKE WHAT YOU WANT.

HOW COULD YOU NOT LOVE MR. SCALCO?

I MEAN, HE IS SUCH A HOTTIE.

'CAUSE HE'S OLD AND HE'S BALD AND HE'S OUR PRINCIPAL.

OKAY, HE'S NOT THAT OLD, AND HE LISTENS.

LISTENING IS TOTALLY SEXY.

I'D TOTALLY DO HIM.

GROSS.

LIKE, "2 GIRLS 1 CUP" GROSS.

AND I'M PRETTY SURE HE'S MARRIED.

LUSTING AFTER A MARRIED MAN IS TOTALLY SINFUL.

HYPOTHETICAL, SARAH.

[CHUCKLES]

♪ SPIT ME OUT

♪ LOCK ME UP

♪ BABY, LET'S GO

♪ LOSE MY BRAIN, BLOW MY MIND,

BREAK MY HEART... ♪

A PICTURE FRAME.

[CHUCKLES]

THANKS.

IT'S AWESOME.

Y-YEAH, MY -- MY MOM PICKED IT OUT.

FROM THE THREE OF US.

[GASPS] AWW!

YOU GUYS!

THANK YOU.

[ALL] HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

[ALL CHUCKLE]

[DOORBELL RINGS]

[MOM] EVE? DOOR!

[EVE] OKAY, I'M COMING!

[CHUCKLES]

[CHAPIN] 'SUP?

I KNEW YOU'D COME.

VOMIT.

WHAT IS THAT?

IT'S FROM SARAH. LIKE IT?

NO.

LIZA CAME.

NO SHIZ?

SHIZ.

[CHUCKLES]

[CHUCKLES]

DON'T PANIC. I'M HERE.

HAVE WE SUNG "HAPPY BIRTHDAY"?

YES.

GUESS YOU'RE A LITTLE LATE.

GOOD.

SONG'S GAY ANYWAY.

'SUP, RAT GIRL?

[CICILY] WHERE'S YOUR PRESENT, CHAPIN?

UP YOUR ASS, CICILY.

[CHUCKLES SARCASTICALLY]

LET'S GO UPSTAIRS.

LET'S DO IT!

LOOK, I KNOW YOU'RE ABOUT TO, LIKE, WET YOUR PANTS RIGHT

ABOUT NOW, BUT I'M NOT GONNA RUIN EVE'S BIRTHDAY.

SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO RUN HOME OR ANYTHING. YOU CAN STAY.

BUT WE'RE NOT GONNA BE DOWN UNTIL I GET AN APOLOGY.

THEN I GUESS WE'RE NOT GONNA BE DOWN.

I KNOW ALL ABOUT YOU, CHAPIN.

MY MOM SAYS SHE PROBABLY NEEDS RITALIN.

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]

[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]

GUESS WHAT.

'SUP?

MY BIRTHDAY'S ON THE 10TH, AND MY MOM SAID

I COULD HAVE A PARTY.

HMM.

SO...

HEY.

HEY. WHAT'S UP?

'SUP?

NOTHIN'. JUST KICKIN' IT.

YOU GOT SOMETHING -- -OH!

[CHUCKLES] -OOH.

WORKS EVERY TIME.

PRICK. THAT GAG IS SO "FLINTSTONES."

WHATEVER.

LATER, SKATER.

LATER.

MM.

HE IS SO PERFECT.

YOU ARE SO OBVIOUS.

WAS I?

YES. YOU WERE PRACTICALLY SLOBBERING ON HIS JOCK.

EW! EAR RAPE.

[CHUCKLES]

OH.

HEY!

UGH. WHY DO YOU TALK TO THEM?

THEY'RE NICE.

-THEY'RE LIKE A SORORITY OR SOMETHING.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS TO SORORITY GIRLS?

THEY TURN INTO KELLY RIPA.

YOU JUST DON'T LIKE THEM BECAUSE THEY'RE POPULAR.

THEY'RE A&F SNOBS.

HEY, EVE.

WHAT'S UP?

HEY.

OH, I FORGOT. I'M INVISIBLE TODAY.

HELLO, CHAPIN.

WHAT'S THE BITCH-UATION, CICILY?

HAS ANYONE EVER TOLD YOU YOU LOOK EXACTLY LIKE KELLY RIPA?

OH.

I LOVE KELLY RIPA.

MY MOM SAID I COULD HAVE A SLUMBER PARTY FOR MY BIRTHDAY --

A FEW PEOPLE, YOU KNOW.

SHOULD BE FUN.

WHEN?

THIS FRIDAY.

YEAH, TOTES.

SARAH?

MY PARENTS DON'T LET ME DO ANYTHING.

THEY SAY THAT HANGING OUT WITH OLDER PEOPLE'S A BAD INFLUENCE,

BUT THEY'RE THE ONES THAT MADE ME SKIP A GRADE.

I'LL HAVE MY MOM TALK TO YOUR MOM. SHE'LL LET YOU GO.

DID YOU GUYS FINISH YOUR GEOMETRY?

ALMOST.

WHAT DID YOU GET ON 31?

NO, SEE, I COULDN'T ANSWER THAT ONE.

I GOT SOMETHING REALLY WEIRD.

YEAH, I GOT, LIKE...

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]

WHAT?

WHATEVER YOU WANT.

HI, MR. SCALCO.

[MR. SCALCO] LADIES.

WRIGHT!

CLASS NOW, OR I GIVE YOU DETENTION.

[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]

♪

[COACH] SUCK IT UP, LADIES. ANOTHER HALF-MILE, AND VARSITY'S

KICKING YOUR ASSES! THERE YOU GO, SPALDING!

[BIRD CHIRPING]

WAY TO AMP IT UP, SILVERS. NICE!

♪

PAY YOUR RESPECTS, NEW GIRL.

WHAT'S THAT FOR?

STACY ST. CLAIR.

YOU'LL MOVE FASTER IF YOUR LIPS STOP FLAPPING!

SHE NEEDS TO GET STUFFED.

GOT SOME THREE NIGHTS AGO, TONI! MOVE IT!

COME ON!

IS YOUR FACEBOOK PIC REALLY A PINK CHICKEN?

REALLY, SARAH?

IT'S A CHICK.

IT'S AN EASTER THING.

IT'S CUTE, RIGHT?

LAME.

MY PORES FEEL REALLY TINGLY.

IS THAT GOOD?

YEAH, TINGLING MEANS YOUR

IMPURITIES ARE DISSOLVING.

LAMER.

WHO'S GOT THE JUICE?

WE DON'T DRINK.

LAMEST.

YOU DON'T DRINK, YOU DON'T SMOKE, YOU DON'T SCREW?

CONGRATULATIONS.

YOU'RE ALL SAINTS. GOLD STARS FOR EVERYONE.

LET'S STICK THEM TO YOUR FOREHEADS.

ARE WE REALLY JUST GONNA SIT AROUND ALL NIGHT AND DO NOTHING?

I HAVE A PEDICURE KIT.

SCREW YOUR FEET, SARAH.

WHAT'S YOUR DEAL, CHAPIN?

MY DEAL IS THAT WE'RE SITTING AROUND ON A FRIDAY NIGHT TALKING

ABOUT PEDICURES ON EVE'S BIRTHDAY.

[SCOFFS]

I'M PEACING.

W-WHY?

BECAUSE WE'RE NOT DOING ANYTHING,

AND I'M ON LOCKDOWN ANYWAY.

WELL, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?

LAST TIME I CHECKED, IT WAS YOUR BIRTHDAY, EVE.

AND THE LAST TIME I CHECKED,

I WASN'T TALKING TO YOU.

WE COULD TAKE TURNS READING EACH OTHER'S BLOGS.

IT'LL BE LIKE THEATER.

I'D RATHER BE SHOT -- TWICE.

OKAY, WELL, WE'RE SUPPOSED TO GO BOWLING AFTER MY DAD CALLS.

MM, WITH A BUNCH OF BLUE HAIRS AND FAT GUYS WITH BEER GUTS?

WELL, THEN, WHAT?

I LIKE SUDOKU.

I'LL TAKE A PEDICURE, SARAH.

I'M NOT TOUCHING YOUR FEET, CECILY.

SERIOUSLY, THEY SMELL LIKE YOGURT.

THEY DO NOT SMELL LIKE YOGURT!

WHAT ABOUT...TRIPLE DOG?

[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]

WHO IS STACY ST. CLAIR?

SHE USED TO BE ON THE TEAM AT SACRED HEART.

SHE JUMPED.

OFF THE BRIDGE?

YEP.

WHY?

LADIES, ZIP THE LIP! MOVE YOUR FEET!

DID SHE DIE?

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

THEY FOUND HER 3 MILES DOWNSTREAM.

HER EYES WERE GONE.

SERIOUSLY?

YEAH. GO ASK MALLORY SILVERS.

SHE KNEW HER.

COME ON!

NICE.

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]

WHY DID SHE JUMP?

WANT TO KNOW WHAT I HEARD?

WHAT YOU HEARD OR WHAT WAS IN THE PAPERS?

THIS WAS IN THE PAPERS?

TOTALLY. IT WAS A HUGE DEAL LIKE FIVE MONTHS AGO.

A BUNCH OF KIDS FROM SACRED HEART GOT EXPELLED.

I HEARD IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.

YEAH, BUT THEY JUST SAID THAT FOR THE PARENTS' SAKE.

THIS IS WHAT I HEARD FROM CHRIS HARPER, WHO LIVES FIVE

HOUSES DOWN FROM JED SPELLMAN, WHO GOES TO SACRED HEART.

JED SPELLMAN?

SO, THERE'S THIS CRAZY PARTY, RIGHT?

LIKE, AN END-OF-THE-SEMESTER CRAZY FLING THING.

AND YOU KNOW HOW THE SACRED HEART CROWD IS.

THEY PARTY MAD HARD.

YEAH, 'CAUSE CATHOLIC SCHOOL MESSES WITH YOUR HEAD AND SHIT.

THEY'RE ALL TOTALLY REPRESSED.

TOTES.

SO, THERE'S THIS ONE KID THERE THAT NO ONE'S EVER SEEN BEFORE,

AND HE'S ALL IN LEATHER, WITH THIS GREEN MOHAWK.

-I HEARD IT WAS BLUE.

-SO, THERE'S THIS GUY WITH THIS BLUE MOHAWK, AND HE'S AT

THIS PARTY, AND HE'S HANDING OUT ACID HITS TO EVERYONE FOR FREE.

-IT WASN'T FREE.

-IT WAS FREE. THAT'S A FACT.

IT WAS FREE, AND STACY ST. CLAIR GOT SOME.

[DANCE MUSIC PLAYS]

BUT THIS ISN'T, LIKE, REGULAR ACID.

IT'S, LIKE, CRAZY STUFF, LIKE, INSANE.

PEOPLE ARE TASTING COLORS AND SEEING SOUNDS.

AND STACY HAD BUTTERFLIES ON HER FINGERS.

HOW WOULD CHRIS HARPER KNOW THAT?

SHH! BECAUSE!

JED SPELLMAN TOLD HIM. THAT'S HOW.

ANYWAY, EVE, ONE OF HER BUTTERFLIES FLEW AWAY, AND SHE

FLIPS OUT AND STARTS CHASING IT.

AND SHE ALMOST HAD IT WHEN SHE WAS AT THE BRIDGE.

NO SHIZ?

WELL...

ANYWAY, THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED.

THAT'S THE STUPIDEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD.

THAT'S WHAT CHRIS HEARD FROM JED.

DID YOU TELL HIM, "DUDE, JED,

I'M TOTALLY SEEING BUTTERFLIES RIGHT NOW"?

I DON'T THINK SO. I HEARD SHE JUST GOT STONED AND JUMPED.

SHE WAS SEEING BUTTERFLIES, EVE.

I DON'T THINK THAT --

AH!

EVE, BUTTERFLIES.

THAT'S THE TRUTH.

WOW.

TRIPLE DOG?

WHAT'S THAT?

IT'S A GAME, KIND OF LIKE

TRUTH OR DARE BUT WITHOUT THE TRUTH PART.

SWEET. I'LL PLAY.

NINA, LAST TIME YOU PLAYED TRUTH OR DARE WAS AT

GABE'S PARTY, AND YOU CRIED FOR AN HOUR.

LET'S DO IT.

I DON'T WANT TO.

NO, YOU'D RATHER PUT CHICKENS

ON YOUR STUPID FACEBOOK.

IT'S A CHICK, AND IT'S SEASONAL.

OKAY, I'M GOING HOME. I'M NOT GONNA HANG OUT WITH A

BUNCH OF LAME-ASS FOTARDS ALL NIGHT LONG.

LET'S VOTE.

WHO WANTS TO PLAY?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

WE NEVER DO ANYTHING FUN.

COME ON.

[SCOFFS]

WHAT DO YOU SAY, RAT GIRL?

OR ARE YOU TOO SCARED TO PLAY?

WELL, THAT'S FOUR TO TWO.

DEMOCRACY! LOVING IT!

OKAY.

WHAT DO WE DO?

WELL, UM, IS THAT CHARGED?

YEAH, I CHARGED IT LAST NIGHT.

OKAY. UH, WE'RE GONNA NEED SOME CLIPPERS --

THE ELECTRIC KIND.

WHAT DO YOU NEED THAT FOR?

YOU'LL SEE.

EMPTY YOUR WALLETS.

ALL YOUR CASH -- DUMP IT IN.

WHY?

[CLIPPERS BUZZ]

MY BROTHER'S.

[CHUCKLES]

BEAUTASTIC.

THAT'LL WORK.

ALL RIGHT, ALL YOUR STUFF GOES IN BECAUSE

THAT'S PART OF THE GAME.

NOW, DON'T WORRY. YOU MIGHT GET IT BACK.

MIGHT?

DO IT.

$2, SARAH?

I BOUGHT THE "GOSSIP GIRL" DVD SET.

[ALL CHUCKLE]

UM, CECILY HAS AN EXTRA $20 STASHED BEHIND HER LICENSE.

UM, HELLO? NO, THAT'S EMERGENCY MONEY.

-DUMP IT IN. -BUT --

AND YOUR MOST FAVORITEST

THING THAT YOU BROUGHT WITH

YOU -- DUMP THAT IN, TOO.

ALL RIGHT, WE HAVE -- OOH! --

$100-SOME-ODD, A KRZR, AN MP3,

NINTENDO DS, A POCKET PC,

SOME UGLY SILVER EARRINGS.

MY DAD GAVE THOSE TO ME LAST YEAR.

AND THE "GOSSIP GIRL" DVD SET.

IT'S MY FAVORITEST SHOW.

WELL, TILA TEQUILA IS BUT MY MOM THINKS

IT'S TRASH AND WOULDN'T LET ME BUY IT.

OKAY. SO, WHAT ARE THE RULES?

RULE ONE...

EVERYONE GETS A DARE AND GIVES A DARE.

RULE TWO -- YOU GET TO PICK WHO DARES YOU.

RULE THREE -- YOU MUST PERFORM THE DARE

THAT'S GIVEN TO YOU, AND IF YOU DON'T...

[CLIPPERS BUZZ]

...YOU GET YOUR HEAD SHAVED.

[GASPS]

LIKE, NO-HAIR BALD?

THAT'S THE GAME.

[CHUCKLING] COOL.

WHAT?

NOW, IF THERE'S A DARE YOU KNOW YOU CAN'T DO,

YOU CAN CHALLENGE THE PERSON WHO DARED YOU, AND THEY HAVE

TO DO IT, BUT IF THEY DO IT, YOU GET SHAVED.

SO, DON'T GO DARING PEOPLE TO DO THINGS YOU WOULDN'T DO,

BECAUSE IT BACKFIRES.

WHAT KIND OF DARES?

ANYTHING GOES.

BUT YOU CAN'T DARE SOMEONE TO

SHAVE THEIR HEAD.

WHY NOT?

BECAUSE THAT'S AGAINST THE RULES.

DO WE HAVE TO PLAY?

YES, YOU HAVE TO PLAY.

BIRTHDAY GIRL DECIDES THE ORDER.

SARAH FIRST.

WHY ME FIRST?

'CAUSE YOU DON'T WANT TO PLAY.

I DO WANT TO PLAY.

I JUST DON'T WANT TO GO FIRST BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW THE RULES.

I JUST TOLD YOU THE RULES.

-SARAH, I DIDN'T -- -YOU SUCK CHUNKY RIGHT NOW.

-NO, I -- -YOU DON'T LIKE THE SCARF.

OKAY, SARAH, LOOK. JUST GET IT OVER WITH,

AND THEN YOU CAN SIT ON YOUR ASS AND KNIT ALL NIGHT.

[LAUGHS]

OKAY, YOU GUYS MAKE FUN OF IT, BUT IT HELPS ME FOCUS.

IT'S LIKE MEDITATION.

OH, THE CATHOLIC GIRL MEDITATES.

I'M SORRY.

YOU KNOW, I HAVE A DARE FOR YOU.

NO WAY.

LIZA...YOU DARE ME, BUT...

BE NICE.

I DARE YOU TO --

NO, NO, NO.

YOU TRIPLE DOG DARE HER TO...

[SIGHS]

SARAH, I TRIPLE DOG DARE YOU TO...

I DON'T THINK THIS IS FAIR.

OKAY, IF YOU DON'T WANT TO DO IT, THEN CHALLENGE LIZA.

BUT IF SHE DOES IT, I'M SHAVING YOUR HEAD.

I CAN TELL YOU, I HAVE NO PROBLEM STREAKING.

OH I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH YOU STREAKING.

ANYBODY WITH SIGHT WOULD HAVE A PROBLEM WITH YOU STREAKING.

JUST GO, SARAH. COME ON.

IT'S COLD.

IT'S APRIL.

STREAKING'S ILLEGAL.

THERE ARE CARS AROUND HERE.

OKAY, COME ON, SARAH. DON'T CRY.

THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE FUN.

IT'S NOT FUN. I'M CATHOLIC.

AMEN AND PRAISE JESUS.

OKAY, I'M RECORDING NOW.

EVE, PUT THAT AWAY.

IF YOU DON'T DO IT RIGHT NOW, I'M SHAVING YOUR HEAD.

SERIOUSLY.

GIVE ME THE TOWEL.

IT'S OKAY.

I WILL COUNT TO THREE, OKAY?

AND THEN YOU RUN.

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

OKAY.

1...

[ALL] 2...

3!

LET'S GO.

[ALL CHEERING]

[LAUGHTER]

GAME ON.

[CHUCKLES]

♪

OH, MY GOD.

[TIRES SCREECH]

ATTENTION, SUBURBANITES!

COME ON OUT AND SEE SARAH ALGRIN'S

ASS BUMP AND FUN BUBBLES!

COME ON OUT AND TAKE A LOOK-SEE!

SHUT UP, CHAPIN!

I'VE NEVER SEEN BREASTICLES AND JUNGLE BUSH

QUITE LIKE THIS, FOLKS!

[HORN HONKING]

SARAH ALGRIN'S VIRGIN FAT!

WHOO-HOO!

OH, MY GOD!

RUN, SARAH, RUN!

[LAUGHS]

YES, THE DRAPES MATCH THE CARPET.

ONE TIME AND ONE TIME ONLY, GET

IT WHILE THE GETTING'S GOOD!

YO, DUDE, LOOK AT THAT.

[HORN HONKS]

HEY, ALGRIN!

[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS] NICE TUNA!

MANDATORY 10!

[HORN HONKS]

AAH!

♪ I FOUND OUT

♪ I FOUND LOVE

[LAUGHS]

OH, MY GOD!

I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE DID IT. I CANNOT BELIEVE IT.

[LAUGHS]

THE FIRST SUCCESSFUL TRIPLE DOG OF THE EVENING.

OW!

GROW UP!

WHAT WAS THAT?

NOTHING. WHY ARE YOU EVEN FRIENDS WITH HER?

AT LEAST I HAVE FRIENDS.

[DOG BARKS IN DISTANCE]

NOUN.

"BALLS."

ADJECTIVE.

WHAT'S AN ADJECTIVE?

YET ANOTHER REASON YOU SHOULD STOP SKIPPING ENGLISH.

ADJECTIVES ARE DESCRIPTIVE WORDS, LIKE "FAT"...

"SKINNY"... "STUPID."

THAT ONE.

"STUPID"?

YEAH.

THANKS, GENIUS.

"THE STUPID BALLS..."

[LAUGHTER]

NAME.

"JESUS."

IF YOU'RE JUST GONNA THROW THOSE, CAN I HAVE ONE?

OKAY.

PLURAL NOUN.

WHAT, YOU MAD-DOGGIN' ME, RAT GIRL?

WHY DON'T YOU TELL EVERYBODY WHY YOU GOT

KICKED OUT OF SACRED HEART, CHAPIN?

WHAT WAS THAT?

QUIET DOWN.

GET BACK TO WORK.

CHAPIN, CHILLAX. COME ON.

[RAT SQUEAKING]

WHAT'D YOU JUST SAY TO ME, RAT GIRL?

SIT DOWN, YOUNG LADY.

WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?

WHOA!

[PUNCH] AAH!

[PUNCH]

NO! LET GO!

STOP.

[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]

SHE JUMPED ME.

NOW, WHY DID SHE DO THAT?

BECAUSE SHE'S PSYCHO.

ASK EVERYBODY IN FREAKIN' STUDY HALL.

YOU'RE NOT STILL CARRYING THAT RAT AROUND, ARE YOU?

NO.

YOU KNOW, I'VE HEARD THAT THEY'RE ALMOST AS SMART AS DOGS.

DOES HE LIKE DOUGHNUTS?

SHE.

[RAT SQUEAKS]

YOU HAVE ANY FRIENDS, LIZA?

HOW DO YOU MEAN?

GIRLFRIENDS, BOYFRIENDS,

FRIENDS YOU CAN HANG OUT WITH,

TALK TO.

YEAH.

HANG WITH THEM.

AND STAY OUT OF TROUBLE.

STAY AWAY FROM CHAPIN WRIGHT.

GOT IT?

GOOD.

YOU NEED TO SEE THE NURSE?

NO.

WELL, I WOULD FEEL BETTER IF YOU DID.

JUST LET HER TAKE A LOOK AT YOU,

THEN STRAIGHT BACK TO CLASS, OKAY?

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

YOU READY TO SAY YOU'RE SORRY?

WRIGHT, COOL IT.

IN HERE -- NOW.

CLOSE THE DOOR.

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]

YO, YO, LOOK AT THIS.

WOULD YOU GUYS SUPERMAN THAT HO FOR 20 BUCKS?

SURE. WHY NOT?

GEEKY LITTLE THING IS HOT.

HEY, I LIKE YOUR KNEE SOCKS.

AW, MAN.

OH, HOW ABOUT THAT?

[LAUGHS]

[LAUGHING] NO. NO WAY.

BONER KILLER.

FOR HALF A MIL, I MIGHT THINK ABOUT IT.

ARE YOU SERIOUS?

LOOK AT THOSE BOOTS, MAN.

YEAH, I BUSTED HER DOWN.

SHE DESERVED IT.

I'M NOT SORRY.

WHAT DID SHE SAY TO YOU?

WHY?

HOW ARE YOU ADJUSTING TO OUR SCHOOL, CHAPIN?

[BREATHES DEEPLY]

YOU TELL ME.

ANYTHING YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT?

MM...GOD?

WHAT ABOUT GOD?

DO YOU THINK GOD EVER GETS BORED?

[SIGHS]

YOU KNOW, FOR A WHILE, I THOUGHT YOU WERE DOING REALLY,

REALLY GOOD. THIS IS A BIG STEP BACKWARDS FOR YOU.

BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.

YOU KNOW, I'M SURE YOU'RE A VERY

BUSY MAN, SO IF YOU COULD JUST GIVE ME MY DETENTION SLIP --

WE HAVE A NO-TOLERANCE POLICY

WHEN IT COMES TO ASSAULT.

FIGHTING IS A THREE-DAY SUSPENSION.

[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]

I'D PREFER DETENTION.

WHO SHOULD I CALL TO PICK YOU UP?

[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]

[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]

I WANT TO GO HOME.

THOSE GUYS SAW ME.

WHAT IF THEY POST THAT VIDEO ON YOUTUBE?

WHAT IF SOMEBODY CALLED THE POLICE?

WHAT IF I GET ARRESTED?

THIS COULD GO ON MY PERMANENT RECORD.

OKAY, JUST STOP BEING SUCH A TOOL.

WHAT, ARE WE IN THE 3RD GRADE?

EASE UP.

NOW, EVE...WHO'S NEXT?

LIZA.

HMM.

PICK SOMEONE TO DARE YOU.

UHM --

HELLO, SOMETIME THIS CENTURY.

NINA, I GUESS.

DRUMROLL, PLEASE.

[IMITATES DRUMROLL]

UH, OKAY, WAIT. GIVE ME A MINUTE.

[CLEARS THROAT]

OKAY, I GOT IT.

I TRIPLE DOG DARE YOU TO...

STAY IN EVE'S BROTHER'S CLOSET TILL MIDNIGHT...

WEARING...

[ZIPPER OPENS]

...THIS.

[LAUGHS]

WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

BATHROOM!

SHIT, SHIT, SHIT!

[BREATHES HEAVILY]

[BANGING ON DOOR]

[BURPS]

[GRUNTS]

[BURPS LOUDLY]

NICE.

YOU STINK.

YOU'RE UGLY.

PIZZA AND CAKE DOWNSTAIRS IF YOU WANT IT.

DID YOU TAKE 10 BUCKS FROM ME THE OTHER DAY?

YEAH.

NOW YOU OWE ME $71.19.

AND WHERE'S MY BIRTHDAY PRESENT?

I REFUSE TO CELEBRATE IT. I WANTED A DOG.

[CHUCKLES]

OKAY, WHEN DAD CALLS, DO YOU WANT TO TALK TO HIM?

HE'S NOT GONNA CALL.

IT'S MY 16TH BIRTHDAY.

HE'LL CALL.

HEY, COME ON. LET'S GO DOWNSTAIRS AND GET SOME PIZZA.

PUT THE GAME DOWN, SERIOUSLY. I'M HUNGRY. LET'S GO. COME ON.

[BANGING ON DOOR]

NOW, LIZA!

COME ON! YOU HAVE TO DO IT!

ASS UP, RAT GIRL!

HE HATES ME!

WELL, HE'S GONNA HATE YOU A WHOLE LOT MORE

IF HE FINDS YOU IN HIS CLOSET.

LOOK, IF YOU'RE GONNA DO IT, YOU HAVE TO DO IT NOW.

ASS UP, RAT GIRL!

OR WE SHAVE YOU! WHAT'S IT GONNA BE?

[BANGING ON DOOR] LIZA. COME ON!

WHAT'S THAT?

SARAH'S CELL.

SEND US A PHOTO EVERY HALF-HOUR SO WE KNOW YOU'RE STILL IN HERE.

WHAT IS THAT SMELL?

[CHUCKLES]

BOY FUNK.

THEY'RE COMING.

OKAY, WELL, LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE.

OH, WAIT -- THERE ISN'T ONE.

YOU SHOULD'VE APOLOGIZED.

KARMA'S A BITCH.

[GUY] I GOT GUITAR FIRST, MAN.

I DID STICK.

[CRICKETS CHIRPING]

[CELLPHONE RINGS]

[LAUGHS]

AHH.

[CHUCKLES]

THAT'S FUNNY.

OKAY, WHO'S NEXT?

NINA.

BRING IT ON.

YOU DARE ME, EVE.

I TRIPLE DOG DARE YOU TO...

[WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY]

BIG WANG'S?

[SIGHS]

YOU SURE YOU'RE UP FOR THIS?

ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY.

YOU'RE SUCH A DELINQUENT.

[CAR DOORS SHUT]

[SINGING INDISTINCTLY]

[MAN] EXCELLENT.

[LAUGHS]

SARAH.

HEY, MAL.

YOU LOOK HOT TONIGHT.

[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?

WANT TO MAKE A SCENE?

PUT NINA'S NAME NEXT ON THE LIST, OR THIS GOES ON THE NET.

WAIT, WAIT. IS THIS ONE OF --

DO IT...OR YOU'RE BUSTED.

[MAN] OKAY, THANK YOU.

[APPLAUSE]

WHO NEXT?

AH.

RADIES AND GENTMEN, NINA!

[APPLAUSE]

HI.

[INTRO PLAYS]

♪ I LOVE YOU MORE EVERY NIGHT,

EVERY NIGHT AND -- ♪

[COUGHING]

[GASPING]

UGH!

[MAN] WHAT'S WRONG WITH HER?

UGH!

[WANG] UH...G-GIVE ROOM! UH, GIVE AIR!

[GRUNTING]

PUT SOMETHING IN HER MOUTH! SHE BITE OFF TONGUE!

-SHE FORGOT TO TAKE HER, UH, HYDROOXYPILITAMI.

MALLORY, CALL AMBLANCE!

HELL, NO!

WHAT'S "AMBLANCE"?

AMBLANCE, AMBLANCE!

WHOO-WHOO! SIRENS?

I SAID, "N-O," NO.

SEE HOW SALTY SHE IS?

LIKE -- LIKE MSG! FIRE HER ASS!

MALLORY, NO MSG!

[GRUNTING]

CALL THE "AMBLANCE"!

WHAT YOU THINKING, MALLORY?

SHE'S FAKING.

IT'S A GAME -- A STUPID GAME!

[GRUNTING]

[WANG] AMBLANCE, PLEASE.

I HAVE A KID HERE AT RESTAURANT. SHE HAVING A CAESAR.

SALAD?

NO! NOT FOOD POISONING!

CAESAR! CAESAR!

FUCK! SHIT! SHIT!

SHIT! FUCK! SHIT!

SHE ALSO HAS TOURETTE'S!

-I CALL AMBLANCE! THEY ON WAY!

-GOOD.

[SPITS]

YOU OKAY, KID?

[SIGHS]

THANK YOU.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

[SCATTERED APPLAUSE]

TIME TO GO.

LATER, MAL.

BYE, MALLORY.

[CHUCKLES]

HEY, EVE?

HAVE YOU ASKED YOUR FRIEND ABOUT STACY ST. CLAIR YET?

YOU SHOULD.

TOLD YOU.

CRAZY WHITE PEOPLE!

SO CRAZY!

ALL THE TIME CRAZY -- CRAZY LIKE...

[MUSIC STARTS]

OKAY. OKAY.

HEY.

OKAY, FUN TIME, FUN TIME!

WHO NEXT?

[GUY] OH, OH. YOU SEE THAT? THAT'S RIGHT. I'M ON FIRE.

MAN, LOOK AT THESE RIFFS.

LOOK AT THAT. LOOK AT THAT.

OH, YEAH. YOU SEE THAT?

HELLO.

I GOT THE PORN WHEN YOU'RE DONE.

PUT THE GUITAR DOWN.

SERIOUSLY, COME ON.

[RAT SQUEAKING]

HEY, IF EVE ASKS YOU TO DARE HER...

[LAUGHS]

THAT KICKED ASS!

NO, IT DIDN'T.

THIS IS A DISASTER.

WHY CAN'T WE JUST GO BOWLING?

POUND THAT, BIATCHES.

[CHUCKLES]

THAT WAS STUPID.

AND WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER?

ALKA-SELTZER.

IT'S ALL ABOUT THE EFFECT.

AND DID YOU SEE MALLORY'S FACE?

GOD, I HOPE SHE GETS FIRED.

WHAT'S WITH YOU TWO, ANYWAYS?

WHY DOES SHE HATE YOU SO BAD?

[CELLPHONE BEEPING]

SHE JUST ENVIES MY NATURAL EFFERVESCENCE.

[GIRLS CHUCKLING]

HEY, GIVE ME THAT.

[DIALING]

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]

MAN, YOU BONED OUT.

YOU SUCK, MAN.

[CELLPHONE RINGING]

WHOSE PHONE IS THAT?

[CELLPHONE RINGING]

DUDE, THAT YOU?

NO, MAN.

[GIRL] WHAT?

WHAT THE SHIT?

DUDE, THERE IS A GIRL IN YOUR CLOSET.

[CHUCKLES]

YOU BITCH!

THINGS JUST GOT INTERESTING.

[SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE]

I...

TODD'S GOT A CHICK IN HIS CLOSET?

STUD! MAN!

THAT'S SWEET.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

YOU ONE OF MY SISTER'S FRIENDS?

I...

EW, IS THAT A RAT?

SHE'S GOT A RAT IN THE CLOSET?

I-I KNOW WHO THAT IS.

THAT'S, UH, UH, UH, RAT GIRL.

WHAT'S UP, RAT GIRL?

[CHUCKLES]

NICE UNIFORM.

GET OUT.

GET OFF!

OW! SHE BIT ME!

THE GIRL OR THE RAT?

GET THE HELL OUT OF MY CLOSET!

NO.

WHAT?! YES! GET OUT!

NO, NO, NO TO INFINITY. I WIN.

LOOK, IF YOU TOUCH ME, I WILL BITE YOU, TOO!

HOLY...

UNBELIEVABLE! YOU COME INTO MY HOUSE, HIDE IN MY CLOSET,

AND NOW YOU WANT TO BITE MY FRIENDS?

YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.

I'M CALLING MY MOM.

CALL HER, BABY!

WHAT'D YOU SAY?

I SAID CALL HER, YOU BIG BABY.

WHAT -- BABY NEEDS MOMMY? BOO-HOO.

WHAT'S MOMMY GONNA SAY WHEN SHE FINDS YOUR PORN?

[BOTH LAUGHING]

SHUT IT DOWN!

[SIGHS]

FYI, THIS IS A DARE.

HOW LONG DO YOU HAVE TO STAY IN THERE FOR?

TILL MIDNIGHT, AND I'M NOT MOVING.

WHY NOT?

BECAUSE I LOOK LIKE CRAP BALD!

DUDE, ARE WE GONNA GO PICK UP A COUPLE 40S FROM JULIA'S

TONIGHT OR -- OR WHAT?

I CAN'T GO ANYWHERE WITH A CHICK IN MY CLOSET!

[CHUCKLES]

FREAKING MOODY CHICK.

MOODY CHICK WITH A RAT.

UGH!

SHIT!

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]

[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]

[DIALING]

♪ WE ALL COME BACK AGAIN

♪ TO THE SAME OLD GROUND,

THE ONE WHERE WE BEGAN ♪

♪ HEY, LITTLE SISTER,

DON'T BE AFRAID ♪

♪ EVEN THOUGH THAT'S WHAT THE

NEWSPAPERS SEEM TO SAY ♪

♪ WITH DESPERATION

WHAT'S GOING ON?

WHAT'S UP, GUYS?

HEY.

HI.

OBVIOUS.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

WHAT'S IT LOOK LIKE I'M DOING?

WILL YOU HAND ME THAT?

WHAT?

THE WRENCH.

YEAH.

WELL, AREN'T YOU GONNA SAY "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" TO EVE?

OH, THAT'S RIGHT.

17?

16TH.

RIGHT. RIGHT ON.

SO, ARE YOU GUYS GOING OVER TO

JULIA'S PARTY?

WE WEREN'T INVITED.

I WAS.

YEAH, NEITHER WERE WE.

THAT'S WHY WE'RE CRASHING.

WHEN?

MIDNIGHT.

YOU SHOULD COME.

IT'S GONNA BE A GOOD TIME.

WELL, WE HAVE TO FINISH OUR GAME FIRST.

WHAT GAME?

TRIPLE DOG.

BE CAREFUL.

I'M SORRY. WHAT?

I SAID YOU SHOULD BE CAREFUL.

WAIT.

CAN YOU SPEAK UP?

I CAN'T HEAR YOU VERY WELL.

COME ON.

BYE.

♪ ...THE ONE WHERE WE BEGAN

[MID-TEMPO ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]

♪ NOW, NOW

HEY, LET'S GO CRASH THAT

PARTY AFTER NINA'S DARE.

YOU THINK THAT'S COOL IF WE WEREN'T INVITED?

WELL, YOU JUST MOVED HERE,

SO SHE DOESN'T KNOW YOU.

AND I JUST TRANSFERRED, SO SHE

DOESN'T REALLY KNOW ME, EITHER.

UM, YEAH, SHE DOES.

AND SHE CAN'T STAND YOU.

THANKS.

MM.

COME ON.

UH, WHERE DOES YOUR DAD LIVE NOW?

FLORIDA STILL.

HE'LL CALL.

THANKS.

HEY.

YOU SMELL THAT?

[INHALES]

[SIGHS]

FRESH-CUT WET GRASS!

[CHUCKLES]

[CHUCKLES]

AH. NOSTALGIA.

ONE DAY WHEN YOU'RE LIKE 80 YEARS OLD, YOU'LL BE

WALKING ALONG AND SMELL THAT AND THINK OF ME.

[CHUCKLES]

[CHUCKLES]

[SIGHS]

WHO'S NEXT, EVE?

CECILY.

[CHUCKLES]

SHE'S ALL YOURS, CHAPIN.

WHATEVS.

I'M NOT SCARED OF YOU.

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]

RUTH?

HI!

HELLO, GRACIE. HOW ARE YOU?

OH...CAN'T COMPLAIN, YOU KNOW. [CHUCKLES]

HOW ARE THE KIDS?

OH, GOOD.

ELIZABETH?

FANTASTIC.

YEAH, SHE'S MAKING LOTS OF NEW FRIENDS THIS YEAR.

OH, BLESS HER HEART.

UH-HUH.

[CHUCKLES]

YOU'RE LIZA, RIGHT?

LEFT.

WHAT DID YOU SAY TO MY BESTY?

WHO'S YOUR BESTY?

CHAPIN.

CHAPIN'S YOUR BEST FRIEND?

SHE'S THE BEST I'VE MADE SINCE I MOVED HERE.

IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS WHAT I SAID TO HER.

WELL, I'M ASKING, SO I'M MAKING IT MY BUSINESS.

FINE.

I SAID, "WHY DON'T YOU TELL EVERYBODY WHY

YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF SACRED HEART?"

AND?

YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW?

IF I DIDN'T, I WOULDN'T HAVE ASKED.

STACY ST. CLAIR -- CHAPIN PUSHED HER OFF A BRIDGE.

SHUT UP!

YOU SHUT UP. SHE WAS DRUNK.

SOMEBODY SAID SOMETHING, THEN...

STACY!

WHAT'D YOU JUST SAY?

NOTHING.

YOU'RE PARANOID.

I'M WHAT?

YOU'RE PARANOID.

THEY BOTH GOT INTO A FIGHT.

GET...OFF OF ME!

[GASPS]

[WATER SPLASHES]

THEY FOUND HER BODY 20 MILES DOWNSTREAM COVERED IN MAGGOTS.

IT'S NOT TRUE. SHE TOTALLY WOULDN'T DO THAT.

OKAY, IF IT'S NOT TRUE, THEN WHY'D SHE BEAT ME UP?

HOW WOULD YOU KNOW?

MY MOTHER WORKS AT SACRED HEART, MORON.

[MOTHER] GIRLS?

GRACIE AND I JUST HAD A GREAT IDEA.

YOU COULD USE A LITTLE NONVIOLENT SOCIAL INTERACTION.

[SIGHS]

YOU FEEL ANYTHING YET?

SHUT UP, CHAPIN.

YOU KNOW, I'M NOT TRYING TO RUSH YOU OR ANYTHING.

I SAID, "SHUT UP"!

[SIGHS]

MAYBE THIS WILL HELP.

[CHUCKLES]

VERY FUNNY.

YOU SHOULD PROBABLY GO SOON.

JUST GET IT OVER WITH. YOU'LL FEEL BETTER AFTER.

I'M JUNIOR CLASS PRESIDENT!

I COULD GET, LIKE, SUSPENDED OR --

JUST DO IT! FOR GOD'S SAKES, YOU HAVE FIVE SECONDS TO GET

YOUR ASS OUT OF THIS CAR, OR I'M DOING IT MYSELF.

5...4...3...

2...

[LAUGHTER]

I THINK SHE MIGHT ACTUALLY HAVE A BREAKDOWN.

SHH! SHH!

OVER THERE.

[DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE]

IS SHE DOING IT?

MY GOD.

SHE'S TOTALLY SPLITTING THE WHISKER.

[GASPS]

YOU THINK SHE'LL GET KICKED OUT OF STUDENT COUNCIL

IF SCALCO CATCHES HER?

YEAH.

GOOD.

[GASPS]

SHIT! [CAR ALARM BLARING]

SHE'S SO BUSTED!

COME ON!

GO!

CECILY GERBER?

IS THAT YOU?

CECILY, SMILE FOR THE CAMERA!

THAT WAS SO NOT COOL!

YOU NEVER KNOW, MAYBE HE LIKES GOLDEN SHOWERS.

[TIRES SCREECH]

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]

[SOBBING]

[SNIFFLES]

ARE YOU CRYING?

NO.

[SIGHING] GOD.

WHAT'S WRONG?

YOU DON'T CARE.

[SNIFFLES]

YES, I DO.

I'M HAVING THE WORST NIGHT OF MY LIFE.

Y-YOUR SISTER HATES ME, HER FRIENDS HATE ME, MY MOTHER

HATES ME, AND I'M IN A CLOSET THAT SMELLS LIKE...

LIKE WHAT?

BOY FUNK!

IS THAT A GIRL WORD?

"BOY FUNK"?

IT SMELLS REALLY BAD IN HERE.

[MUSIC STOPS]

[SIGHS]

HERE.

BETTER?

IT'S SPRING-RAIN-SCENTED.

[MUSIC RESUMES]

[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]

[DIALS]

YOU SUCK AT THIS.

I JUST GOT IT.

WHY? YOU PLAY "ROCK BAND"?

WAY BETTER THAN YOU.

I COULD TOTALLY KICK YOUR ASS IN "EXPERT" MODE.

[MUSIC STOPS]

OH, YEAH?

YEAH.

THEN BRING IT.

[CRYING]

IT'S GONNA BE OKAY, CECILY.

[LAUGHS]

THIS IS, LIKE, THE BEST GAME EVER. SERIOUSLY.

CHAPIN?

WHAT'S UP?

WHISPER.

[SCOFFS]

HE'S "A-DORK-ABLE."

WHAT ABOUT HIM?

ARE YOU INTO HIM?

I MEAN, I'M OKAY IF YOU ARE.

I WAS JUST CURIOUS, 'CAUSE,

YOU KNOW, YOU'RE ALWAYS, LIKE, AROUND HIM AND STUFF.

ARE YOU SERIOUS?

IT'S JUST A QUESTION.

THAT'S A HELLA LAME THING FOR YOU TO SAY TO ME, EVE.

I WOULD NEVER GO FOR SOMEONE YOU WERE INTO --

NEVER IN A MILLION BAZILLION YEARS.

ARE YOU MAD?

MAYBE.

BITCH.

HOOKER.

[BOTH LAUGH]

[KILLOLA'S "PERSONAL GRAVEYARD" PLAYS]

[GUITAR SOLO]

♪ ALL DRESSED UP AND IF LOOKS COULD KILL, YOU'D

BE A LONELY GIRL WITH A PERSONAL GRAVEYARD ♪

YOU'RE ACTUALLY PRETTY GOOD AT THIS.

YEAH, I KNOW.

WHAT'S YOUR NAME AGAIN?

LIZA.

DON'T TRY TO BE NICE TO ME, 'CAUSE I STILL

THINK YOU'RE A GIANT FUCK TWIT.

WHAT'D I DO?

"WOULD YOU SUPERMAN THAT HO FOR 20 BUCKS?"

"FOR HALF A MILLION, I MIGHT THINK ABOUT IT."

FUCK...TWIT.

I SAID THAT?

THE FACT THAT YOU DON'T EVEN REMEMBER

MAKES YOU AN EVEN BIGGER FUCK TWIT.

WHAT IF I TAKE IT BACK?

TOO LATE. I'M ALREADY SCARRED.

DUDE, YOU CARRY AROUND A RAT,

YOU DON'T BRUSH YOUR HAIR,

YOU'RE WEARING A CHEERLEADER --

YEAH, I'M EXPRESSING MY INDIVIDUALITY, OKAY?

YOU'RE LOOKING TO ATTRACT NEGATIVE ATTENTION.

THERE'S A WORD FOR THAT.

YEAH? WHAT'S THAT?

I FORGET.

BUT THERE'S A WORD FOR IT.

IT'S NOT LIKE YOU'RE UGLY OR ANYTHING.

I'M NOT?

NOPE.

[MUSIC STOPS]

BUT CHICKS WHO CARRY AROUND RODENTS DEFINITELY

KILL THEIR FUCK FACTOR.

HERE'S SOME ADVICE --

LEAVE THE RAT AT HOME, AND YOU MAY GET A DATE.

AND IT BETTER NOT SHIT IN MY CLOSET.

[SCOFFS] LIKE YOU'D NOTICE.

WHAT TIME IS IT?

12:02. WHO CARES?

I CAN COME OUT NOW.

[CHUCKLES]

GUESS I SHOULD PROBABLY GO FIND OUT WHERE EVERYBODY ELSE IS.

OR WE COULD BONE.

I'M GONNA GO GET DRESSED.

CAN I WATCH?

[SNIFFLES]

I SMELL LIKE PEE.

[CHUCKLES]

TWO MORE TO GO.

YOU OR ME, EVE?

I HOPE IT'S ME.

HOES FIRST.

[CHUCKLES]

ALL RIGHT.

WHO HASN'T DARED YET?

I HAVE A DARE FOR YOU.

I BET YOU DO.

[CELLPHONE RINGING]

HELLO?

IT'S LIZA. SHE WANTS TO KNOW WHERE WE ARE.

TELL HER TO MEET US AT THE CARBY'S ON LOUGHEED.

WHY?

'CAUSE I TRIPLE DOG DARE YOU TO...

SO, ALL I HAVE TO DO IS MUG A PENTHOUSE?

NO PROBLEM.

WHAT, ARE WE WAITING ON RAT GIRL OR WHAT?

YOU NEVER SAID THERE WAS SECURITY!

KARMA'S A BITCH.

[CHUCKLING] WHAT, ARE YOU TRYING TO GET ME ARRESTED?

YOU CAN CHALLENGE ME.

I MEAN, IF YOU CAN'T DO IT, JUST SAY IT, AND I WILL.

HER DAD OWNS THIS STORE, CHAPIN.

[SCOFFS]

[CHUCKLES]

AND, BY THE WAY, PORN'S RIGHT BEHIND THE COUNTER.

[CHUCKLES]

♪ YOU CAN SEE SHE'S NOT JOKING

♪ JOKING

DID DAD CALL?

NO, LOSER. I TOLD YOU -- HE'S NOT GONNA CALL.

IT'S LIKE 2:00 A.M. IN FLORIDA RIGHT NOW.

OH. THE NEXT TIME YOU DECIDE TO DARE YOUR

FRIENDS TO DO SHIT, LEAVE MY CLOSET OUT OF IT.

[CHUCKLES]

CHECK YOU LATER, LIZA.

LATER, TODD.

[ENGINE REVS]

DID YOU HOOK UP WITH HIM?

[SCOFFS]

SLUT UP!

WHAT'S GOING ON?

OKAY. FINE.

LET'S DO IT.

BUT I NEED THIS.

HEY!

CUT YOUR BITCHIN'.

I'M THE ONE WHO HAS TO WEAR THIS PINK NIGHTMARE.

I'LL TRY NOT TO BARF ON IT.

IF SHE GETS ARRESTED, MY DAD'S A LAWYER.

HE'S REALLY GOOD, TOO.

SHUT UP, SARAH!

SHE'LL BE FINE.

[GUARD] HEY, KID.

YOU CAN'T RIDE THAT THING IN HERE.

SORRY, SIR.

HEY, MAN. CAN I GET A PACK OF EXTRA LIGHTS?

WHAT'S SHE DOING?

[CHUCKLES]

SHE'S ABOUT TO GET BUSTED.

UH, YOU NEED SOME HELP FINDING SOMETHING?

UH...NO. I'M -- I'M OKAY. THANKS.

ON SECOND THOUGHT, DO YOU HAVE, UH, THOSE, UM,

COLORED COVERED PEANUTS?

THERE'S PEANUTS IN THEM.

MY DAD USED TO EAT THEM ALL THE TIME, AND I, UH --

M&M'S?

YES! M&M'S.

DO YOU HAVE THOSE?

[EXPLOSION]

[UP-TEMPO ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]

[SCOFFS] SHE BLEW UP MY DAD'S MICROWAVE!

HEY! YOU! GET OUT OF THERE!

[GASPS] GET IN THE CAR!

OOH! GET IN THE CAR!

PEACE OUT!

♪ CHEW ME UP

♪ SPIT ME OUT

♪ LOCK ME UP

♪ BABY, LET'S GO

HEY! COME BACK HERE RIGHT NOW!

COME BACK HERE -- NOW!

STOP, YOU LITTLE SHIT!

I SAID STOP -- NOW!

WHERE IS SHE?

♪ OW!

[GUITAR SOLO]

YOU LITTLE THIEF.

LOOK OUT! DON'T HIT HER!

[TIRES SCREECH]

[TIRES SCREECH]

[PANTING]

[KILLOLA'S "WHO WE THINK WE ARE" PLAYS]

[LAUGHING] OH, MY...

THAT WAS THE MOST BODACK THING

I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE.

[HUMS]

OH, WHOSE FRIEND ARE YOU, ANYWAYS?

YOU BLEW UP MY DAD'S MICROWAVE.

WHERE DID YOU LEARN TO DO THAT?

YOUTUBE.

AND I COULDN'T JUST GET SOMETHING FOR CECILY

AND NOT GET SOMETHING FOR EVERYONE ELSE, SO...

NO WAY.

I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT NEED THIS.

[LAUGHING] OH, MY...

[LAUGHS]

AND, NINA, I DON'T MEAN TO SAY ANYTHING BAD

ABOUT YOUR HAIR, BECAUSE WE'RE COOL.

BUT EVER SINCE THE SEIZURE THING, YOU MIGHT...

WANT TO FIX IT.

THANKS.

YEAH.

AND, SARAH...

LOOK WHAT I GOT FOR YOU.

[LAUGHTER]

OH, MY GOD.

NOW, THESE DON'T EXPIRE UNTIL 2010,

SO YOU MIGHT ACTUALLY USE ONE OR TWO.

[LAUGHTER]

AND FOR THE BIRTHDAY GIRL...

[HUMS FANFARE]

[LAUGHS]

WOW!

[LAUGHS]

WHO'S THE "TRIPLE DOG" QUEEN?

COME ON. COME ON. GIVE ME SOME LOVE.

YEAH, UNTIL YOU'RE BUSTED BY THE SECURITY CAM.

OH, AND, UH, ONE FOR ME.

[LAUGHING] OH, MY...

YOU ARE INSANE!

[GASPS]

ALL RIGHT.

ONE MORE DARE OF THE EVENING.

READY FOR YOURS, SPALDING?

LET'S DO IT.

SARAH, IT'S YOUR TURN.

YAY! OKAY.

DRUMROLL, PLEASE.

I TRIPLE DOG DARE YOU TO GO TO THIRD BASE WITH WHISPER TONIGHT.

[LAUGHS]

YOU BITCH!

YOU LOVE IT.

[LAUGHS]

[LAUGHS]

HEY, MAL, CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING?

WHAT?

WHAT'S THE WHOLE DEAL WITH STACY ST. CLAIR?

SHUT YOUR MOUTH! KICK THE BALL!

WELL...

KEEP TALKING, SPALDING. SEE WHERE IT GETS YA.

I DON'T TALK ABOUT STACY ST. CLAIR,

AND I DON'T TALK ABOUT SACRED HEART.

GET IT?

[BLOWS WHISTLE]

TAKE A LAP, LADIES. MOVE IT.

SHIT. THANKS A LOT.

AND, IF YOU'RE SO CURIOUS, WHY DON'T YOU ASK CHAPIN?

TWO FOR YOU, SILVERS!

HOW DO I LOOK?

SEX-ALICIOUS!

YOU DON'T THINK I'M TRYING TOO HARD?

NO. JUST BE COOL.

WHISPER LIKES THAT.

UM, CHAPIN, CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING?

YEAH.

DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT STACY ST. CLAIR?

WHY WOULD YOU ASK ME THAT?

WHY DO YOU EVEN CARE?

CHILLAX.

NO, YOU CHILLAX.

AND -- AND, NO, SHE WAS -- SHE WAS OLDER THAN ME.

WELL, LIZA SAID --

WHO CARES WHAT LIZA SAID.

WELL, SHE SAID YOU TWO GOT INTO A FIGHT AND

THEN YOU PUSHED HER OFF THE BRIDGE.

[SCOFFS]

LIZA!

GET OVER HERE.

-CHAPIN, JUST FORGET ABOUT IT.

NO, I'M NOT GONNA FORGET ABOUT IT.

I DON'T LIKE IT WHEN PEOPLE TALK SHIT ABOUT ME.

THE WHOLE "STACY ST. CLAIR" THING --

YOU WEREN'T THERE, WERE YOU, LIZA?

-LOOK, I HEARD... -YOU WEREN'T THERE.

YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED, SO STOP FUCKING TALKING ABOUT IT.

AND, FYI, I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW HER, OKAY?

ALL I KNOW IS THAT WE WERE AT A PARTY.

STACY WAS DEPRESSED.

AND THEN SHE RAN OFF.

-JUST LIKE THAT? -JUST LIKE THAT.

SHE WASN'T STONED OR SEEING BUTTERFLIES?

LOOK, PEOPLE WHO ARE DEPRESSED DO CRAZY THINGS.

MAYBE HER MOM HIT HER.

MAYBE HER DOG DIED.

MAYBE SHE WAS PREGNANT.

OR MAYBE SHE WAS JUST A COKED-OUT JUNKIE

WHO LOST HER WILL TO LIVE.

I DON'T KNOW.

I DIDN'T ASK HER.

ALL I KNOW IS THAT SHE JUMPED, OKAY?

THEN WHY'D YOU GET EXPELLED?

BECAUSE I WAS THERE, JUST

LIKE THAT LESBONAUT, MALLORY SILVERS.

THAT'S NOT WHAT I HEARD, CHAPIN.

OKAY, STOP IT!

GOD!

CUT THE ASS ACT, CHAPIN. IT'S MY BIRTHDAY PARTY.

YOU'RE GONNA BEHAVE YOURSELF.

I'M 'HAVED.

GOOD.

SOMETIMES BEING AROUND YOU IS LIKE BABYSITTING

A KID WITH A.D.D.

[BOOMKAT'S "RUN BOY (HERE I COME)" PLAYS]

♪ LET'S GO EXPLORE

♪ BOOMKAT CAN'T IGNORE

♪ BOOMKAT COMING FOR YOU

♪ TAKE THAT ON THE FLOOR

♪ AND JUST FAKE IT, FAKE IT

♪ LET ME SEE THAT DIRTY DANCE

♪ I KNOW, I KNOW YOU WANT INSIDE

MY FLIRTY PANTS ♪

♪ DON'T GET IT TWISTED

♪ BOOMKAT'S GONNA FLIP IT

♪ TAKE THAT TO THE LIMIT...

WHY IS EVERYONE LOOKING AT ME?

THEY'RE NOT LOOKING AT YOU. THEY'RE LOOKING AT ME.

YO, STEPHAN, WHERE'S WHISPER?

[LAUGHING] SOMEWHERE.

GET OFF ME!

[CHUCKLES] WHAT'S UP?

WHAT IS THAT?

WHAT?

[CHUCKLES]

IT'S LIKE THAT, HUH?

SO, HEY, UH, EVE'S LOOKING PRETTY GOOD TONIGHT, RIGHT?

UH, YEAH. SHE'S CUTE.

BANGABLE CUTE?

SHE LOOKS GOOD.

COME ON. I WANT TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING.

♪ DON'T SWEAT MY NECKLACE

♪ DON'T YOU EXPECT IT

♪ SO 'SPECT IT

♪ I STAND CORRECTED

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]

THAT'S SO BITCHIN'.

DO YOU WANT ME TO TEACH YOU?

FOR REALS?

I TAUGHT MY AUNTIE.

SWEET!

I WANT TO MAKE...A SWEATER.

A PINK ONE?

[SCOFFS]

I CAN ROCK PINK.

RIGHT?

TOTES. [LAUGHS]

HAVE A DRINK.

HERE.

[LAUGHING] YEAH, GIRL.

[CELLPHONE RINGING]

[COUGHS]

NICE FUN BUBBLES.

GRAB ME ONE OF THOSE.

GIVE ME ONE, MAN.

HEY, IT'S RAT GIRL! [LAUGHS]

SHUT IT DOWN.

WHAT?

WHY, GOT A NEW SEX BUDDY OR SOMETHING?

[LAUGHS]

HEY.

WAS MY BROTHER MAD WHEN HE FOUND YOU?

NO. HE GOT OVER IT.

DID CECILY REALLY PISS ON SCALCO'S STOOP?

RIGHT ON THE WELCOME MAT.

OH, BUT DON'T TELL HER I TOLD YOU THAT.

SHE'S STILL, LIKE, FREAKING OUT OVER IT.

SO, ARE YOU NERVOUS?

YEAH.

YOU'RE -- YOU'RE NOT GONNA BACK OUT, ARE YOU?

NO.

MY DAD LOVES MY HAIR.

-HEY.

SEE YA. [CHUCKLES]

WHAT WAS YOUR DARE TONIGHT?

[CHUCKLES]

NOT TELLING.

WHY NOT?

BECAUSE YOU'LL FUSS AT ME LIKE A LITTLE GIRL.

I WILL NOT.

SWEAR?

I SWEAR I WON'T FUSS AT YOU LIKE A LITTLE GIRL.

[CHUCKLES]

WHAT WAS YOUR BIG DARE? COME ON.

I HAD TO MUG A PENTHOUSE FROM CARBY'S.

AND?

EXACTLY.

SO I STOLE A BUNCH OF SHIT AND BLEW UP A MICROWAVE.

[LAUGHS]

WHY DO YOU DO SHIT LIKE THAT?

ESPECIALLY AFTER, UM...

YOU KNOW.

I DON'T KNOW.

'CAUSE.

IT'S FUN, AND WE WERE BORED.

AND I HAVE NO INTENTION OF EVER SHAVING MY HEAD.

YOU'D STILL BE HOT.

[CHUCKLES]

WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

[DANCE MUSIC PLAYS]

ALL RIGHT.

♪ I KEEP TELLING YOU NO, BUT YOU AIN'T HEARING ME ♪

♪ SO WHAT DO I GOT TO DO TO GET THROUGH TO YOU? ♪

♪ I ACT LIKE THERE'S NOTHING WRONG ♪

♪ OH, BABY, I COULD BE SWEET ON THE PHONE ♪

♪ BUT I DON'T HAVE THE TIME TO WASTE ♪

♪ I WANT TO SCREAM, BABY, SCREAM, BABY ♪

♪ IT'S DRIVING ME CRAZY

HEY.

OH. UH, HEY.

RIGHT HERE.

I MEAN, I KNOW I GET GOOD

GRADES, I KNOW I'M CATHOLIC,

I KNOW I'M CONSERVATIVE, BUT,

DAMN IT, I WANT TO RAGE, TOO, SOMETIMES, YOU KNOW?!

TOTALLY.

EVERYBODY SHOULD GET NAKED

AND RUN AROUND AT LEAST ONCE IN THEIR LIVES.

FUCK, YEAH!

IT WAS TOTALLY LIBERATING.

IT SHOULD BE A LAW.

-HELL, YEAH. I'D VOTE FOR IT.

HELL, YEAH!

WHAT ARE YOU GUYS TALKING ABOUT?

GETTING NAKED!

FUCK, YEAH!

[LAUGHS]

DUDE...

WE SHOULD KNIT NAKED!

OKAY, SARAH, LET'S GO.

FUCK, NO. I'M BUSY.

[LAUGHS]

COME ON.

-COME ON.

I WILL BRING HER RIGHT BACK.

EXCUSE US.

♪ GET AWAY, GET AWAY

♪ GET AWAY, GET AWAY ♪

♪ GET AWAY, GET AWAY

♪ I KEEP TELLING MYSELF

♪ I KEEP TELLING MYSELF

♪ I KEEP TELLING MYSELF ♪

♪ I KEEP TELLING MYSELF

♪ I ACT LIKE THERE'S NOTHING WRONG ♪

♪ OH, BABY, I COULD BE SWEET ON THE PHONE ♪

♪ BUT I DON'T HAVE THE TIME TO WASTE ♪

♪ I WANT TO SCREAM, BABY, SCREAM, BABY, SCREAM, BABY ♪

♪ I GOT TO GET AWAY

♪ I KEEP TELLING MYSELF

♪ RUN

♪ RUN

♪ RUN ♪

♪ RUN

♪ RUN

♪ RUN

♪ RUN

♪ RUN

I LIKE YOUR SHIRT.

SO DO I. THAT'S WHY I BOUGHT IT.

WHAT WAS YOUR DARE TONIGHT, EVE?

I'M WORKING ON IT.

WHAT'S THIRD BASE?

ARE YOU SERIOUS? YOU DARED HER.

YOU TOLD ME TO.

ORAL, SARAH.

THIRD BASE IS ORAL.

OH.

ORAL SEX.

[CHUCKLING] OH, MY GOD.

[ZIPPER UNZIPS]

WHOA.

MAYBE WE SHOULD STOP.

COME ON. YOU'VE BEEN LOOKING.

I'M A GUY. I CAN'T HELP IT.

THEN ACT LIKE IT.

EVE...

LOOK, I THINK YOU'RE COOL,

BUT --

"BUT"?

I'VE GOT MY EYE ON SOMEBODY ELSE.

WHO?

YOUR GIRL.

CHAPIN?

ARE YOU SERIOUS?

EVE...

LOOK, YOU'RE CUTE. I'M SORRY.

SHUT UP!

I KNEW IT.

EVE, WAIT!

♪ ...MUCH BETTER WHEN I HAD YOU ♪

OH, WHAT'S GOING ON?

I WAS JUST ABOUT TO ASK YOU THE SAME THING.

[SCOFFS]

SLUT UP.

[LAUGHING] WHAT?

♪ IT ALL FEELS SO REAL

WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?!

I'M PROBLEM-FREE, CHAPIN.

THEN WHY DIDN'T YOU --

I MEAN, SHE'S CUTE, RIGHT?

YOU WERE WATCHING ME?

OF COURSE I WAS WATCHING YOU. IT'S THE FREAKIN' GAME.

WELL, THEN, YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT MY PROBLEM IS.

OH, THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT.

FOR GOD'S SAKES, IT'S HER BIRTHDAY!

COME ON, CHAPIN.

HOLD UP! HOLD UP!

WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?

THIS IS NOT HOW IT'S SUPPOSED TO GO.

IF I KISS YOU, THEN WILL YOU HOOK UP WITH HER?

ARE YOU SERIOUS?

YOU HEARD ME. WILL YOU?

UM...I DON'T --

WHAT THE HELL IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?

LOOK, IT'S -- IT'S A GAME. IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE FUN.

SHE'S MY BEST FRIEND, AND IT'S HER 16TH BIRTHDAY.

HER DAD HASN'T CALLED HER, AND SHE'S ALL UPSET ABOUT IT.

SHE HAS THIS HUGE CRUSH ON YOU, AND NOW, IF YOU DON'T HOOK UP

WITH HER, SHE HAS TO GET HER HEAD SHAVED.

DOESN'T THAT SOUND MESSED UP TO YOU?

YEAH.

IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE FUN, AND THEN EVERYTHING GOES WRONG.

YOU MEAN LIKE STACY?

DON'T TALK ABOUT IT.

I NEVER SHOULD HAVE EVEN TOLD YOU.

IT WASN'T YOUR FAULT.

HOW DO YOU KNOW? YOU WEREN'T EVEN THERE.

IT WASN'T.

STOP TALKING ABOUT IT!

CHAPIN, ACCIDENTS HAPPEN ALL OF THE TIME,

AND IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT.

SHUT UP! SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP!

SO, YOU GUYS DONE WITH YOUR GAME YET?

AND THIS IS YOUR BUSINESS BECAUSE?

WELL, DID YOU ASK CHAPIN ABOUT STACY ST. CLAIR?

YES.

SHE SAID SHE FELL OFF A BRIDGE.

MAYBE SHE FELL.

MAYBE SHE WAS PUSHED.

MAYBE SHE JUMPED.

DON'T BE MAD, MAL.

THAT'S THE GAME.

AND I THINK IT BRINGS OUT YOUR EYES.

WHO'S NEXT?

YOU.

PICK SOMEONE TO DARE YOU.

THEN HOW ABOUT YOU, SMARTASS?

MAKE IT GOOD.

I'M GETTING BORED.

JUMP.

FROM?

THE BRIDGE.

THE JOGGER BRIDGE?

I TRIPLE DOG DARE YOU TO JUMP

OFF THE JOGGER BRIDGE.

THAT'S STUPID.

SO IS YOUR HEAD, BALDY.

HOW MUCH IS IN THE POT?

$280.

WELL, YOU MIGHT AS WELL JUST PUT IT IN MY POCKET NOW.

LET'S GO.

-WHY'D SHE JUMP?

MAYBE SOMEONE DARED HER TO.

WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM, MALLORY?

WHAT REALLY HAPPENED TO STACY ST. CLAIR?

SHE JUMPED.

YEAH, SHE DID.

BECAUSE SOMEONE DARED HER TO.

IS THAT TRUE?

NOTHING BAD WAS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN.

IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FUN.

FUN? ARE YOU GUYS HAVING FUN?

PEOPLE JUMP OFF THAT BRIDGE ALL THE TIME, AND NOTHING HAPPENS.

THERE'S A CURRENT, IDIOT, BUT YOU WEREN'T THINKING ABOUT THAT.

YOU NEEDED TO BE THE CENTER OF ATTENTION, SO YOU TRIPLE DOG

DARED STACY ST. CLAIR TO DO SOMETHING YOU KNEW YOU COULDN'T.

I COULD HAVE.

I DON'T THINK SO.

YOU DARING ME, MAL?

I WOULDN'T BE THAT DUMB.

CHAPIN!

YOU BITCH.

♪

CHAPIN!

CHAPIN!

CHAPIN!

CHAPIN!

GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE RIGHT NOW!

CHAPIN!

CHAPIN, DON'T YOU DARE JUMP!

YOU LISTEN TO ME RIGHT NOW!

CHAPIN!

CHAPIN!

CHAPIN!

DON'T DO IT!

DON'T YOU JUMP!

DON'T JUMP, CHAPIN!

NO!

CHAPIN!

I DON'T SEE ANYTHING!

GO DOWN TO THE BEND IN THE RIVER!

CHAPIN!

OH, MY GOD!

I DON'T SEE ANYTHING!

ME NEITHER.

CHAPIN!

MAYBE SHE SWAM TO THE OTHER SIDE.

YOU BITCH!

I DIDN'T TELL HER TO DO IT!

WHAT DUMBASS JUMPS OFF A BRIDGE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, HUH?

WHAT DUMBASS?

SHE'S CRAZY!

SHE WAS THERE! SHE KNEW WHAT WOULD HAPPEN!

WHAT'S THAT?

SHIT.

I'M CALLING 911.

SHE PROBABLY SWAM TO THE OTHER SIDE.

COME ON. LET'S GO.

CHAPIN!

CHAPIN!

CHAPIN!

CHAPIN!

CHAPIN!

CHAPIN!

MAYBE WE SHOULD TURN AROUND.

I THOUGHT THE FUN WAS JUST STARTING.

CHAPIN.

WHAT? YOU TWO LOOK LIKE YOU'VE SEEN A GHOST OR SOMETHING.

[VOICE BREAKING] YOU THINK THAT WAS FUNNY?!

EVE, STOP! EVE, EVE, STOP!

-I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD! -STOP.

-I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD! -STOP. EVE.

SHUT UP! YOU MORON!

LOOK, IF WE'RE NOT COOL ANYMORE, I COULD JUST WALK HOME, OKAY?

THEN WALK YOURSELF HOME!

FINE! I WILL, BITCH!

HOW COULD YOU BE SO SELFISH?

I JUST NEEDED TO SEE, 'CAUSE IT WAS MY FAULT,

SO FUCK YOU FOR NOT UNDERSTANDING THAT!

[VOICE BREAKING] I SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE IT.

I SHOULD HAVE JUST KEPT MY BIG MOUTH SHUT!

THE CURRENT WAS REALLY, REALLY ROUGH.

I DIDN'T KNOW.

I SHOULDN'T HAVE DARED HER.

[SOBBING]

THAT WASN'T YOUR FAULT, CHAPIN.

YES, IT WAS.

NO, IT WASN'T.

I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT THE CURRENT.

I JUST...

I-I DIDN'T...

KNOW.

IT WAS AN ACCIDENT, CHAPIN.

GOD, I TOTALLY SUCK.

YEAH.

YOU KIND OF DO.

[CHUCKLES]

ARE YOU OKAY?

YEAH, I THINK I'LL BE ALL RIGHT.

WE SHOULD GO FIND OUT WHERE EVERYBODY ELSE IS.

YEAH.

OH, MY GOD! YOU'RE ALIVE!

YOU ARE, LIKE, THE DUMBEST PERSON

I'VE EVER MET IN MY LIFE, SERIOUSLY.

SHUT UP, CECILY.

YOU'RE NOT AS PERFECT AS YOU THINK YOU ARE, OKAY?

EXCUSE ME?

YOU HEARD WHAT I SAID.

IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH CHAPIN, YOU CAN GO HOME.

CHAPIN! CHAPIN?

[SIREN WAILING]

I'M FINE. I'M FINE.

OH, NO -- POLICE!

LET'S GO.

COME ON.

[LAUGHTER]

OH.

I THINK IT KIND OF GOES WITHOUT SAYING, DOESN'T IT?

CHAPIN, FOR SURE.

UH, EXCUSE ME.

I PEED ON SCALCO'S STOOP, OKAY?

HE'LL PROBABLY NEVER SPEAK TO ME AGAIN --

AFTER HE KICKS ME OUT OF SCHOOL, THAT IS.

CAN I VOTE FOR MYSELF?

[ALL] NO.

NO.

THEN I VOTE FOR NINA, BY DEFAULT.

CHAPIN.

[CHUCKLES]

CHAPIN, YOU WIN.

AND, FOR THE RECORD, MY VOTE WAS FOR SARAH.

DON'T WE HAVE TO SHAVE EVE'S HEAD NOW?

WHAT?

THAT'S THE GAME, RIGHT? I MEAN, I WANTED TO DO PEDICURES.

SCREW YOUR FEET, CECILY.

DID YOUR DAD CALL YET?

YOU SHOULD JUST CALL HIM.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

I WILL.

HI, DAD.

YEAH.

I KNOW IT'S LATE, BUT I WAS JUST

CALLING BECAUSE...

YEAH, I-I KNOW, BUT...

I WAS JUST WAITING FOR YOU TO

CALL BECAUSE...

FINE.

I WON'T.

BYE.

[CELLPHONE BEEPS]

EVE?

HE SAID NEVER TO CALL THIS LATE AGAIN.

I NEED A MINUTE.

AAAAAAAAH!

[DOG BARKS IN DISTANCE]

AAAAH!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

GREAT. SHE FLIPPED THE FUCK OUT.

EVE...

YOU ALL RIGHT?

[SIGHS] I- I JUST NEEDED TO GET THAT OUT.

[SIGHS]

LET'S DO IT.

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. WE DON'T HAVE TO.

YEAH, I THOUGHT YOUR DAD LOVED YOUR HAIR.

THAT'S THE GAME, RIGHT?

FRIENDS STICK. DADS DON'T.

I WANT TO.

LET'S DO IT.

[CLIPPER BUZZES]

[CRYING]

WHY ARE YOU CRYING?

IT'S REALLY SAD.

BUT IT'S MY HAIR.

I CAN KNIT YOU A HAT.

[BREATHES DEEPLY]

HEY, EVE...

SO, WHAT'S YOUR MOM GONNA SAY ABOUT YOUR HAIR?

I DON'T THINK YOU CAN SPEAK WHEN YOU'RE HAVING A STROKE.

YEAH.

I BETTER GET HOME.

I CAN DROP YOU OFF.

I GOT WHEELS.

OKAY.

OKAY, WELL, I GUESS I'LL JUST --

STILL FRIENDS?

[SIGHS]

ALWAYS.

BFF.

AND JUST SO YOU KNOW...

NOBODY IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD EVER LEAVE YOU BEHIND.

[SNIFFS] YOU SMELL THAT?

[SNIFFS] WHAT?

MMM. SNIFF AGAIN.

[SNIFFS]

NOSTALGIA.

[CHUCKLES]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

[CHUCKLES]

[HAYLEY TAYLOR'S "WAKING" PLAYS]

♪ PILLOWS SOFT, COVERS WARM

♪ AND IT'S GETTING EASIER NOT TO WAKE YOU UP ♪

♪ DON'T YOU KNOW THAT I KNOW ALL OF THE REASONS ♪

♪ THAT YOU HAVE GOT TO GO?

♪ AND I'VE BEEN TRYING TO SAVE YOU ♪

♪ AND I'VE BEEN TRYING TO CHANGE YOU ♪

♪ BUT I CAN'T TAKE WATCHING YOU SLIP AWAY ♪

♪ IN YOUR DREAMS, NOTHING'S REAL ♪

♪ AND THERE ARE NO SCARS OR PERMANENT MARKS TO BEAR ♪

♪ LIGHTS ARE LOW, HEART OF STONE ♪

♪ BUT IT MAKES THE MINUTES NOT SEEM SO INFINITELY COLD ♪

♪ BUT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO SAVE YOU ♪

♪ I'VE BEEN TRYING TO BLAME YOU ♪

♪ BUT I CAN'T TAKE WATCHING YOU SLIP AWAY ♪

♪ 'CAUSE THERE'S JUST NO CURE

♪ NO HOUSE ON A HILL

♪ NO LOVE THAT'S ENOUGH

♪ IF YOU'RE NOT FULFILLED

[GUITAR SOLO]

♪ AND I'VE BEEN TRYING TO SAVE YOU ♪

♪ I'VE BEEN TRYING TO CHANGE YOU ♪

♪ BUT I CAN'T TAKE WATCHING YOU SLIP AWA-A-A-A-Y ♪

♪ BEEN TRYING TO SAVE YOU

♪ TRYING TO SAVE YOU

♪ BEEN TRYING TO SAVE YOU

♪ BEEN TRYING TO SAVE YOU

♪ BEEN TRYING TO SAVE YOU

♪ I'VE BEEN TRYING TO SAVE YOU

[MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS]