Original subtitles

My name is Amrita.

- Zion. - Zion?

- Yeah. Thank you. - Beautiful name.

How do you find Thailand?

Well, you know, I just got here, but I like it.

Um, I grew up in Hawaii. It's actually...

...really similar.

Except there's no monkeys in Hawaii.

Yeah.

It's actually crazy seeing them up in the trees, you know?

Is it your first time meditating?

No. No, no, no. My mom, she's all into the, you know,

spiritual stuff.

Yeah, she just sent me here

'cause she knows I've been pretty stressed out.

Just finishing finals and, um...

you know, some other stuff.

Okay. Shall we begin?

Yeah, yeah, let's-- let's do it.

Just close your eyes for me.

Take a moment to settle...

and focus on your breathing.

Inhale...

and exhale, fully release.

Let us calm our chattering monkey minds...

and find in the silence

what is timeless.

Breathe in...

slowly, and breathe out.

Let the sounds of the external world fade away.

And focus only on your breath.

Um, ma'am?

Ma'am, that's a gun.

- Huh? Uh... - Yeah. Yeah.

- Oh, fuck. - Okay, uh, stay calm.

- Just stay calm. - My mom's out there.

- My mom's out there. No, no, no. - Zion. No, no, no, st--

- My mom's out-- - Oh my God!

Oh, God!

Stay down.

Please let my mom be okay. Please.

Oh, Je-- Oh, Jesus, please forgive me of my sins.

I pray you protect my mom and me.

Let us get out of here. In Jesus' name, amen.

What the fuck?

I said don't let anything happen to my mother, motherfucker!

Made in Thailand

Oh, yeah!

Made in Thailand

Oh, yeah...

Would you mind taking it over there?

My wife and I are bothered by the smoke.

Look, stop your smoking on the boat.

You don't have to be a dick about it.

Be a dick about what?

Made in Thailand

Oh, yeah...

Morning.

Ni hao.

Morning.

Khun Sritala. Khun Sritala!

Khun Sritala.

The boat should be here any minute.

I need more time.

Of course, but it's almost at the platform.

Tell them to cruise the bay.

- Cruise the bay? - Yeah.

Made in Thailand

Hello! Hi!

Sawatdee kha.

Welcome to the White Lotus in Thailand, kha.

Thank you.

- For you. - Ooh!

- I'm okay. I don't-- I don't need one. - Take one.

I'm Fabian, general manager.

I'm pleased to introduce you to one of the hotel owners,

Khun Sritala.

She is the visionary behind our wellness program.

I may be biased, but we are the best in the world.

Oh my God. We are so excited to be here.

Mook is your health mentor for the week.

She will answer all your questions

and can escort you to your room.

- You are so pretty. Wow. - Khop khun kha.

- Isn't she so pretty? - Let's just go to the room.

- This way, please. - Oh my God. You're so pretty.

What's your name again? Mook? Love that.

Please stop talking.

- Wow. - Whoo!

Yeah.

- Hi. - The Ratliff family, yes?

- That's us. - How was your flight?

Long layover in Doha, but it's all forgotten now.

We flew over the North Pole.

How did you find us, may I ask?

Uh, well, Piper here is a senior,

- thank you, at Chapel Hill-- - I was also a Tar Heel.

But Timothy went to Duke. Saxon graduated Duke.

Lochlan, our youngest, just got accepted to both.

So you can imagine, it's a whole thing.

And she's a religious studies major.

So she's writing her thesis on--

Well, what's your thesis on, Pipe?

- Dad, don't. - Yeah, well, it's on Buddhism,

and there's a monk at a monastery near here.

Anyway, she wants to interview him.

So we made a family road trip of it--

Pam. Would you please escort them to the villa?

- Certainly. - Please enjoy.

Um... Right this way.

- Thank you. - Enjoy.

- Enjoy. - Enjoy.

- Hi! - Oh my God!

- Hi! - Hi.

Sawatdee kha. I am Sritala.

I'm one of the owners.

Nice to meet you.

I am a fan. My husband also.

- Oh. - We watch your show.

Aw. Thank you.

- Are these all your friends? - Uh... Yes,

- this is Kate and Laurie... - Hi.

...and we have been friends since forever.

Yeah, we went to school together when we were, like,

- nine years old... - Yep. Mm-hmm.

- ...through high school. - Yeah.

- Old friends. - No, long-time friends. Not old.

Ah, yes.

You know, we have just been so busy with our lives,

and we've been missing each other, so...

You know, we just live in different cities.

And then Jaclyn heard about this place.

Everyone in LA is talking about it.

Sawatdee khrap. Welcome.

This is Valentin. He will be your health mentor.

- A health mentor? - Wow.

- I love it. - Okay.

He is our best.

Everyone requests him because...

he's handsome.

I look forward to working with you.

He is from Russia.

- Bye! - Enjoy.

Miss Belinda. Sawatdee khrap.

I'm Pornchai. We have spoken on the phone.

I'm just so happy to finally meet you.

We are honored to have you here. And this is for you.

Thank you. I'm honored.

And I'm just so glad all this worked out.

And I want to learn everything I can

and bring the magic back to Maui.

That's great. Shall we?

Everyone here is eager to meet you.

Oh, I can't wait.

Sick.

Fuck yeah.

Dad. Dad, I know I gave you shit,

but this place is clutch.

- I did my research. - God, you're always right.

Saxon was our hold-out.

We usually stay at the Caribbean.

What? No, no, no, no. I don't need a vacation, so...

I mean, I love working.

- What? - Saxon works for his father.

They love it.

- It's Tim's dream. - It's pretty great.

How wonderful for you. How wonderful for you.

So, how many bedrooms are there?

Uh... Three.

The master is through the common area,

and then there is one bedroom on either side.

Okay. So, Lochy, you're with me.

- All right. - Uh... He can sleep with me.

I don't mind.

But that'd be weird.

Why is it weird?

Because brothers and sisters don't sleep together

after they have full grown, you know...

genitals.

- Saxon. That's a bad word. - What?

Stop! Stop! Saxon, please!

Stop! Stop! Let me go! Stop.

- We're a normal family. You'll see. - I don't know.

- Seriously! - Um... What's the-- What's the Wi-Fi?

Oh, yeah.

Uh... We don't actually have Wi-Fi in the villas.

- What? - What? No Wi-Fi?

Yeah. We consider the hotel to be a digital detox area.

So we actually encourage our guests to put your phones,

your laptops, your electronics, into this bag.

I will take them. I will put them in our safe.

And at the end of the week, we will give them back to you.

And that way, you can just focus on, um, being present

and each other

and self-care.

Yeah.

This come up in your research, Dad?

- No. Um... - It's optional.

- Oh. - Oh, okay.

I think it's a great idea.

The only people I want to see are right here anyway.

- All right, honey, uh, I just-- - I'm sick of these phones.

It's not realistic.

We will be keeping the phones, Pam.

Okay. Uh... We just ask,

don't take them out into the common areas

so as not to disturb the other guests.

Can we bring it to the gym?

- Oh my God. Dude, are you dense? - What? No.

I get a way better pump if I'm listening to music.

It's a common area.

He's so cute.

Oh, no, I'm serious.

I mean, what-- what-- what am I supposed to do here all week

without my phone?

Eat a bunch of fruit?

Oh, uh...

Well, we do have a lot of amazing fruit here,

but I wouldn't eat that.

Uh... That is the fruit of the mighty pong-pong tree,

and the seeds of the fruit are toxic.

Yeah?

- Could it kill you? - Yeah, it could, actually.

It's very poisonous.

Look, I wouldn't worry about being bored, okay?

Um... 'cause you're each gonna have a busy schedule

that's based on your own personal goals.

What?

Tomorrow, you'll do your biometrics test.

- I don't want to take a test. - Okay, okay.

- Is it complicated? - No, no, no. You--

- We're jetlagged. - We get a whole bunch of data,

and I take those results...

- Yeah. - ...and I put together

- a personalized plan... - Yeah. No.

- ...that best suits your needs. - Okay, Pam, you seem great.

You're a terrific person. But we're tired.

We've taken three flights to get here. So let me make it easy for you.

We just want to have a good time.

And me, I don't...

I just-- I just want to work out.

So you take care of us, and believe me,

in a week's time, I'll take very good care of you.

- All right? - Thank you so much.

I'll see you tomorrow. See you tomorrow.

Pam's going, everyone. Say bye.

- Bye. - Nice to meet you. Welcome.

- Thank you. - Welcome.

- See you. - Thanks so much, Pam.

I think I'm going to take a nap.

Oh, are you sure, honey?

You do that and you won't sleep tonight.

- Oh, I'll sleep like a baby. - Yeah?

I'm so happy.

Yeah. Come on.

Let's get you settled. Let me walk you in.

Hey, Lochy, do you wanna go--

Stop! Stop.

Do you want to go see the temple with me?

It's just like a mile down the beach.

- Yeah. - No, we were gonna go to the pool.

I mean, don't you wanna go to the pool?

Yeah, well, I'll come--

I'll come with you to the temple,

and then I'll come meet you at the pool after.

Okay. Yeah, whatever.

I'll, uh... I'll see you down there.

Bye, Mom. Bye, Dad.

Have fun, son. See you in a bit.

Yeah, we've been all over.

We've been to Mexico. We've been to Costa Rica.

But we can go wherever, really, 'cause Rick barely works.

I used to be a yoga teacher.

Oh, wow.

- Yeah, that's cool-- - But we've been traveling so much.

We were gonna go back to Bali, but then one day,

he woke up, and he was like, "We're going to Thailand."

Yeah. And once he gets an idea in his head,

you can't argue with him. Isn't that right, babe?

Well, I hope you enjoy Thailand.

Thank you. Oh, hi. Great, the bags.

Yeah, you can just put them

- in the bedroom. - Okay.

- Yeah. Sorry they're so heavy. - Oh, it's okay.

- How are you? Thanks. - Good. You?

Uh... Question for you.

You know that lady on the beach,

- the owner? - Oh, yes.

Is she married?

Yes, to Khun Jim, Jim Hollinger.

He's a very famous man in Thailand.

Is he here?

No, he's been sick. He was in hospital here.

Yesterday, he got released, and he went back to Bangkok.

- He's in Bangkok? - This place is insane.

Fuck.

Fucking motherfucker.

Of course he is. I need a fucking drink.

Oh, he gets migraines when he flies.

It's no big deal.

If you need anything, please let me know.

- Thank you so much. - Thank you. Enjoy.

She's so nice! And her name's Mook.

How cute is that? Mook.

Oh my God. Jesus.

We're splurging. We should always live like this.

Let's check out the spa menu.

Wow. All these treatments. You should get a facial.

Rick, the lady in the airport thought you were my dad.

Okay? You should get a gentleman's facial.

No.

You know that's the whole reason why people come here?

This is a wellness center.

That's not why I came here.

Why did you come here?

I wanted to go to Australia.

Well, I told you that I can't go to Australia.

Why? Would you get arrested?

You're like a fucking machine gun, you know that?

Enough with the questions.

Oh.

Stress management meditation with Dr. Amrita.

Yeah, you need this.

Yeah, you need to sort your shit out.

You've got issues.

I've got issues?

Oh, you're the one who's crazy.

Ooh! Hey, maybe we should get fucked up tonight, you know?

Last hurrah before our detox.

Let's have fun! Okay? Think about it.

I love it here! Thank you!

Hi.

Jacs, it's perfect. Are you kidding?

- I have my own pool. - Are you sure?

- I want you to be happy. - Hey, guys.

There's like a bunch of monkeys up in the tree.

- Really? - Yeah.

- Wow. - Just don't feed them.

Monkeys can be aggressive.

- Laurie, how's your room? - It's great.

I feel like you're kind of tucked away up there.

- I'm happy to switch. - No, I'm fine. The view is incredible.

Anyway, you paid. You should get first pick.

Oh my gosh. You guys, I'm happy with anything.

Just being here with the three of us, I'm in heaven.

I would sleep in a tree.

That's too generous of you.

That's so nice.

But we're paying for our own treatments.

And I'm going to pay for some of your treatments, too.

Khop khun kha.

You guys!

Should I open a bottle?

- Heck yeah! - Let's open a bottle.

These are the moments we gotta celebrate.

A hundred percent.

And we're not getting any younger.

Well...

except you, Jac. You look amazing.

You look amazing.

But you look incredible.

You look incredible.

You look the same as you did 20 years ago.

Oh, okay.

You both do.

Yeah, but you look like you just got pushed out of a birth canal.

Oh, God.

- Who's your doctor? - Shut up. Who's your doctor?

I don't know why you'd want to know

'cause he's not as good as your doctor.

I haven't done anything. Except for, you know,

a little maintenance.

The basics.

Me too.

Thanks.

To Thailand. To monkeys.

To self-care.

- And a week of new memories. - Yes.

Cheers.

To the greatest friends I have ever known.

Seriously, you'll never know how much I love you.

I feel the exact same way.

I look at you two...

It's like I'm looking in a mirror.

Sawatdee kha. This is for you, Khun Belinda.

Oh my goodness. Thank you so much.

We are so happy to have you here.

It's been a rough couple years,

and when this program opened up, it was a blessing.

I think the universe knew I needed something.

Anyway, I just want to thank you in advance

for sharing your knowledge with me.

- Khop khun kha. - Khop khun kha.

It's beautiful. It's truly beautiful.

- Oh my God! - Oh! What? What?

- Oh! Don't, don't, don't. - No, no, no.

- Oh my God! What was that? - Uh, monitor lizard.

Not dangerous. No worry, no worry. Come here.

It's okay.

In time, lizards will become your friends.

No. Uh-uh. No, Pornchai.

This is Brahma, the creator, a Hindu God.

And that is spirit house.

Thai people believe that spirits are everywhere,

so we give them offerings for good luck and protection.

I pray that your time here brings you good memories

and good results.

Thank you. I pray for that, too.

Okay, careful.

Should we check it out?

Isn't that why we came here?

I'm just not ready yet.

It's cool though, right?

Yeah?

Well, if we're not gonna go in, I might...

head back.

Okay.

I think I'm gonna stay a little longer.

- All right. - Thanks for coming with me.

- Yeah. Later. - Bye.

Hey. Hey!

Hey, babe. Come on.

You fall asleep now, you're gonna regret it later.

Did we have to go halfway around the world?

Couldn't she write her thesis on her own religion?

She could have interviewed the Archbishop of Canterbury.

We could have stayed at Claridge's.

Mr. Ratliff, this is Bart Nixon at the Wall Street Journal.

I've been trying to reach you. I'm on a deadline.

If you could call me back when you get this

at 771-444-5801.

It's somewhat urgent, so I hope to hear from you soon.

Some guy from the Wall Street Journal

keeps calling me.

Lochy! Loch!

Yo.

Yo, how were the monks?

They were chilling.

Dude, those long plane rides make me so fucking horny.

It's like a lot of hot women away from home,

no one to answer to, acting all anonymous.

It's like printing money.

Cougars.

Hey. Hey.

We saw you guys on the boat earlier.

- Oh, yeah. - Yeah.

- Yes, hi. - Hi.

I'm Saxon. This is my little brother, Lochy.

Hi.

You guys should get in the pool.

I mean, the temperature's perfect.

Sounds fun.

Hey, you're on TV, aren't you?

- Yeah. - Yeah.

Yeah, I-- I recognize you.

Yeah, thanks.

Very cool.

All right. I have...

Psst! Hey.

How do you-- How do you get a drink around here?

You walk up to the bar, and you order one.

Hey, it's a numbers game, Loch.

You gotta play the numbers.

So, I'm-- I'm here the whole three months?

Yes.

You know, you sure know how to treat a burnt-out bitch.

I mean, there's two beds. That's perfect.

You know, my son's coming to visit.

Oh, what a lucky young man.

Uh... Tomorrow, I'll come by at 9:00,

and I'll walk you to the center.

That's amazing.

Khop khun kha, Pornchai.

Yin dee khrap. Have a pleasant stay.

Thank you.

Okay, then.

You know what this reminds me of?

When we did that sketch in school,

and we were all one person.

And Jaclyn, of course, was the face.

What do you mean, of course?

And we hid behind you, and I had my hands

in some shoes, and I was your feet, and...

And I was the arms. And I put lipstick on.

I got it all over your face,

and I brushed your teeth. Remember?

- Yes, I do. You-- - Oh my God! Right!

Isn't that cool?

So, when are you interviewing this celebrated monk, Piper?

I'm gonna go by the monastery tomorrow and set it up.

You mean you came all the way here,

and you haven't set it up already?

Don't worry, Dad. He's not going anywhere.

What about you, Loch? What are your goals for the week?

Don't have homework, so, uh, probably just take it easy.

Hm. I saw in the spa catalog

they got a treatment for posture.

Keep your spine straight.

If you're going to sit in front of a computer your whole life,

it'd be good not to be a hunchback.

Yeah?

Well, I don't know.

I also have a big decision to make, too.

So I'll probably spend some time thinking about that.

What decision?

College.

What's the decision? You got into Duke.

You're going to Duke.

Tar Heel.

Oops.

Dad, what are you doing? You're not supposed to have your--

- Hello? - What are you doing?

No, don't take it in here. Go outside.

Hold-- Hold on a second. Where am I meant to go?

I don't know! The lobby!

She said not to have it...

- Out. - ...in, like, public spaces. Come on.

- All right. - Oh my God.

Ooh. I don't mean to complain, but that's not very much.

She wants you to taste it.

- Oh! Oh. - Yeah.

- Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's delicious. - Good.

Just a bit more.

What-- What is this shit?

Khop khun kha.

Gluten-free rice and coconut balls?

What are we, at a fucking fat farm?

Oh, this is so on-brand for you.

To be a victim of your own decisions.

Good evening, ladies.

- Hi. - Hi!

- Hello. - Hi!

How's your villa?

- Oh my God. They're so beautiful. - I saw monkeys!

We gave you my favorite.

A table of such beautiful ladies.

Thank you.

You know, when we were little, people would always mix us up.

Couldn't tell us apart.

But then Jaclyn got famous, so...

Khun Sritala was an actress herself.

Were you? I believe that.

Many, many years ago.

She's going to sing tomorrow night,

so you must come here for dinner.

We wouldn't miss it.

I have some popular songs in Thailand.

And then, I married my husband. He's an American.

Khun Sritala is very famous here in Thailand.

Also a pioneer in the wellness space.

- Really? - Yeah.

Um... I have autoimmune disease.

So I learned all about health and wellness.

I even wrote books.

Uh, no, no, no.

Stop, stop, stop. No. No, no. No, no.

You know what? I-- I'm not going to eat.

What's going on with you?

I'm just not hungry.

You know, I think the cosmos brought us together

so that we could get to the root of your issues.

No, I'm gonna help you get your joy back.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

- Good luck with that. - Goodnight.

- See you tomorrow. - Even if it kills me.

Goodnight. Sawatdee kha.

You know what? I'm gonna go have a smoke

and go back to the room.

You wanna get into some tantric later?

Would that make you happy?

Thank you for taking my call. Do you have a minute?

Well, I'm in Thailand on vacation with my family.

So, you know, a minute. Sure.

I'm writing a piece on Kenneth Nguyen.

Did you work with him in 2018 to set up a fund called Sho-Kel?

Can you confirm that?

Sorry. What is this article even about? Wh...

We're looking into Sho-Kel

and Mr. Nguyen's relationship to the government of Brunei.

Well, I'm afraid I won't be able to help you much there because,

uh, I mean, I know Kenny moved to Brunei,

but I haven't seen or spoken to him for, I don't know,

four years at least. Um...

- Well-- - Anyway, look, I--

Like I said, uh, um, I'm on vacation with my family,

- and, uh... - I'm sorry, could you--

May-- Why don't you put all your questions in an email,

send it to my office, and I'll get back to you

'cause it's really-- it's really not a good time.

We're running the story this week.

Well, you know, good luck with that.

- And, uh, thanks a lot. Bye-bye. - Could you at least--

Kenny. It's Tim. I was just talking to a guy

from the Wall Street Journal asking questions about Sho-Kel.

You know about this?

Anyway, uh, just... give me a call.

I'm in Thailand, so I don't know...

Whatever time it is, I'll try and pick up.

But you-- But call me, Kenny. Okay? Call me.

- How's your night? - Fuck off.

Fuckin' prick.

- What's up, Dad? - Hey.

- Anything I can help with? - Uh... It's nothing.

Well, if it was nothing, then why did you take it?

'Cause it was something, and I'm gonna handle it,

and then it will be nothing.

Okay, y'all, the point is to be present.

- Here. Now. Okay? - Yeah.

- Thank you. - Okay.

Mom.

Mom.

Mom.

You were asleep.

Scratch my arm.

Okay.

Feels so good.

Hi, Nat. Um... Can I get a Mauresque please?

Khop khun kha.

I love your outfit.

Thank you.

I love your teeth.

Thank you.

- You're from England, right? - Yeah.

I used to go to London all the time for work.

- Ooh, for work? - Yeah.

- What was your work? - No, just, you know, modeling.

Oh, how glamorous.

- Are you from London? - No, I'm from Manchester.

Oh, okay. Are you here by yourself?

No. My boyfriend's hiding from me.

No way, that's like my boyfriend.

Your boyfriend hides from you?

Yeah. I mean, he just tells me to get lost

because I get on his nerves.

But honestly, he's so fucking boring,

I almost don't even care.

How long have you been here for?

A year.

You've been at this hotel for a year?

No, no. We have a house at the top of the hill.

We just come down here to eat, but we just got in a fight,

so I'm letting him cool off.

He's behind me, the bald guy.

The one with the orange shirt.

Oh.

Yeah, you'll notice a lot of bald White guys

- in Thailand. - Yeah?

The locals call them LBHs.

Losers back home.

Oh.

Thank you, Nat.

My boyfriend's going bald.

So much in common.

We really do.

What are you having? Martini?

- Yes, please. - Nat, another martini, please.

- Thank you. - Thank you.

- Hey, let's get pissed. - Let's get pissed.

Cheers.

It's so nice to meet you.

So nice to meet you.

I mean it.

Everybody's so nice, and I love the culture.

They're always lighting candles, and everything smells so good.

Oh! and I saw two Black people tonight,

and they weren't staff.

- That's awesome, Mom. - So, you got a final today?

Yeah, I have microeconomics this morning,

then statistics Wednesday.

And then, I'm coming to see you.

I can't wait. I don't know what I expected,

but I'm starting to feel like something good's

going to come out of this.

You deserve it, Mom.

All right. I'm gonna let you go.

I love you, and I miss you.

And, uh, good luck on your finals.

- Love you. - Bye.

Oh!

No, no, no, no. The fuck was that?

Uh-uh. No snake falling on my head. Uh-uh.

Mm-mm. Not today.

Okay, Jac, I know that it's nice to have

the red carpet rolled out for you all the time,

but is it weird to have people constantly kissing your ass?

Because I think I would go crazy.

It's fine. I always have to be gracious.

And I can't have a bad day in public anymore.

And I'm sure you have to wonder about people's motives.

I mean, I even get that.

Everyone in Austin knows about Dave and his company.

And there's so many times I think someone wants

to be my friend because they like me.

I mean, I think I'm cool.

But then I realize,

pretty quickly, they have some agenda.

They, you know, want a donation or a job for their kid,

or want me to get them on some board.

I'm not complaining.

I'm lucky to be in a position to help people.

- But... - We're all lucky.

- We're so lucky. - Yeah.

Yeah. Mm-hmm.

I am always bragging that I know you,

and people don't believe we're friends.

And I'm like, "I'm telling you,

she's like one of my closest friends."

Yeah.

Well, and you.

Your kids are gorgeous, your beautiful homes.

You're totally winning life.

Well, look at you.

Now, you've found the man of your dreams.

Oh my God. Who would have ever thought?

Right?

- Yeah. - Oh, and Laurie.

You just... Everything you do is just so hard.

You know, you've always been so impressive.

I mean, that corporate world is so tough.

Yeah.

And your daughter seems like she is turning into a really cool girl.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Thanks.

Dave said,

"So, what? You're going on a midlife crisis trip

with your girlfriends?"

And I was like, "Dave, it is not a midlife crisis trip.

It's a victory tour."

Victory tour. I love that.

That's it.

You guys, I think the jet lag is catching up to me.

Oh! I'm gonna go to bed.

Hey, I'll help you with the door.

Okay, night night.

- Mmm. Bye. - Good night.

Night night. Love you, too.

- Love you both. - I'll get--

- I'll get the door. - Oh, thank you.

Identity is a prison.

No one is spared this prison.

Rich man, poor man, success or failure.

We build the prison, lock ourselves inside,

then throw away the key.

You shouldn't humor her bullshit.

All right? She has issues she needs to deal with.

What are her issues?

Well, for one, which I'm sure you've noticed...

she's pretty hot.

But I don't think she's ever been laid before.

Look, Buddhism is for people that want to suppress in life.

They're afraid. Don't get attached.

Don't have desires. Don't even try.

Just sit there in a lotus position

with a thumb up your ass.

But, I mean, it is good to want things.

You know, as long as you can get 'em.

I mean, getting what you want in life,

that's happiness, bro.

But...

what do I want, I guess?

Pussy.

Money, freedom, respect. I mean, look, you're--

you're smart and good-looking, Loch.

I mean, sure, we need to buff you up a little bit,

but you've got so much ammo.

You don't need to shrink away from life like her.

Get laid. Get everything.

I'm gonna help you.

- Thanks. - Yeah.

No problem.

So, what kind of porn do you like?

What?

Like hot teacher? Bukkake?

Real question is, how the fuck am I gonna jerk off

with you in here all week?

Eh, I'll just go to the bathroom.

Timothy. I just got a second wind.

Oh, shit.

Don't worry. I took a Lorazepam.

That guy on the boat was such an asshole.

Saw him in front of the hotel. Asshole again.

He's probably just jealous.

I mean, you have a beautiful wife, right?

Yes, I do.

- The most beautiful. - Who adores you.

You have three perfect children who worship you.

You have an amazing career.

And what does he have?

Cirrhosis? Lung cancer?

Some bimbo he met on the internet?

We have it good. No doubt.

And it's all because of you. You did it.

Everyone tells me what a great man you are.