Original subtitles

Okay, here's what I want you to do with these things.

Who's that with Christine?

Oh, that's Tom Corporal, her new assistant.

The election's in about three days, and she needs a lot of help, so I got her an

intern from Koch Community.

He's on a full scholarship.

So, can animals vote, too?

You mean he's on a fool scholarship.

Problems? Oh, no more than the rest of my campaign.

Hey, your campaign isn't going that badly. Oh, that's not true, Roz.

to the Globe, she's down another three points in the polls.

According to the Globe, killer bees lower cholesterol.

Oh, hi, Pamela. Hey, Pamela. Oh, you two look spiffy. Where you been?

Pamela and I just attended a fundraiser at the Museum of Modern Art. Where Dan

showed me some of his favorite works.

Oh, the museum's acquired a cinephile collection.

A marvelously droll, Roz.

Oh, Christine, I passed out your campaign literature to everyone in my

and I got a very positive response.

Well, thank you.

Isn't she sweet?

She's even nice to the down and out.

Dan.

Come on, darling, I'll walk you downstairs.

Wow, she's nice. She's smart.

She's sweet.

She's not his type.

True, but her father is. You ever hear of W. Marcus Monroe?

Publisher? Four newspapers, six paperback companies, and 14 magazines.

That's daddy.

Telephone for you, sir. Line one.

We only have one line, Bull.

That's why I didn't say line two.

Something wrong, Bull?

All day long, I've had the strangest feeling that someone's watching me.

Why? Do you hear laughter?

No, I hear footsteps.

And when I stop, they stop.

When I run, they run.

And when I dance, they dance.

Bull, I think you're just being paranoid.

What was that?

What? There's nothing there.

I know that, but when I turned my neck, I heard something pop.

well there goes that last brain cell

$55 in time served.

And that's a wrap.

So, that phone call was a job offer, huh?

Not just a job, Matt. An associate professorship at Columbia University Law

School.

Wow. Wow is right. The dean said he'd heard all about me. He offered me the

position. I can't believe it.

Me neither.

I mean, wow, huh?

Tom, is something the matter?

I've been licking envelopes all day.

Dehydrated.

Before I get too woozy, I just need to know where to have the stuff delivered

for the post -election party.

To the place where we're having the post -election party.

You did book the suite, didn't you?

I thought you were doing that.

Tom, I'm the candidate, the queen bee.

You're the worker bee.

Oh, so you didn't order the keg either?

Go, Tom.

Roz, how do I look?

I have a date with an angel.

And she has a date with the devil.

Scoff if you will, but I think I'm on my way to the big R.

Rest home?

Relationship. Oh, how cozy.

Just you, Pammy, and her daddy's bank account.

Hello, Dan.

Hello, darling. Bye, Roz.

I'm sorry I'm late. Oh, here.

This is for you. Oh, my God, it's beautiful. What is it?

It's a sterling silver nutcracker.

Do you have one?

Used to date one.

Oh, nothing. I will treasure it forever.

I have wonderful news, Dan. Mother and Dad want to meet you. And I just know

they're going to love you as much as I do.

More, I hope.

So I'll go call them and set it up and meet you downstairs.

I wonder if I can return this for cash.

Oh, damn it. She had it engraved.

Well, here they are, buddy. They look exactly to your specifications.

Thanks, Art.

What in the hell are those?

Special rear -view glasses so I can catch the people who've been following

You know who they are?

Kinda. I have a sixth sense.

That's good, since you're missing the other five.

Believe me now, but you will once I catch him.

No one's going to outsmart Bull, Shannon.

Whoa, remember that objects in a mirror are closer than they appear.

I can't believe someone's going all over this building covering all

my posters with Ritter posters.

Well, it doesn't matter. I'm going to lose anyway.

Well, if you're going to lose anyway, why not have your election party here in

the cafeteria?

It's full of losers.

The most amazing thing has happened. You're not going to believe this.

Probably not, but you're going to tell us anyway.

I'm out on a date last night, and who do I run into but Doug Williams of

Williams, Ketchum & Stern. He says his firm really likes my style, and he's

prepared to offer me a full partnership. Is that not the most amazing thing

you've ever heard?

I can't believe it.

You had a date?

Oh, there you are. Listen, did you make the reservations at Chez Noir? That I

have. I even tipped the maitre d' each $20 so he'd pretend he knows you.

It worked. It worked. It's in the bag.

Well, if you'll indulge me, boss, I took the liberty of picking out a few gifts

for the Monroes to sort of break the ice.

Well, you are an invaluable source of support. toward a true friend.

Dan? Get the closet.

Come on.

Hi, Dan.

I don't want to give my other guy the wrong idea.

It is a pleasure to meet you, Mr.

and Mrs. Monroe.

Yeah.

Please, Mark and Claire.

Mark. Claire.

Gifts for everyone.

For you, Pamela. And Claire.

And Mr.

Monroe, a very special gift for you, sir. Oh, you shouldn't have.

He's so sweet.

Oh, look.

A roll of scotch tape.

A carton of menthol cigarettes.

A deck of nude playing cards.

just the slightest mix -up. These were supposed to go to the orphanage.

Just a moment.

Mice.

I have some very big offers that I'm looking into from some very prestigious

firms.

Such as?

Williams Ketchum Stern.

Really? Those are my attorneys. I'll look into it for you.

No, don't.

Because, you see, I turned them down.

Right. You know, I figure it's my duty to stay here, keep the streets free of

the criminal element.

The lowlifes.

I think we speak the same language, Fielding. I'm a law and order man

Great.

Speaking of order, why don't we have some dinner? I'm starved. We can go

downstairs and catch a cab.

No need to.

I've got the limo, Dan.

I'm sure you do, Pop.

I think Daddy likes you.

Not as much as I like Daddy.

Yes, I'll give that serious thought.

Thank you.

Mac, you know who that was?

Judge Henderson.

Of the Superior Court?

Yeah. Last night I was out on another date. I ran into him. He's taking an

retirement, and he wants to recommend me for his position.

Isn't that incredible?

It sure is.

You had another date?

Mac, I don't know what I've been doing right lately, but in the last three

days... I've been offered a professorship at Columbia, partnership

most powerful law firms in the country, a seat on the Superior Court, and two

dates.

Mel!

Hiya, hair.

Can't stay long. Listen, I was rummaging through my rumpus room. I ran across

this song that you wrote for me about six years ago.

I'm recording it. Listen, I want you to come on tour with me so we can

collaborate on an album together, okay?

Oh, gotta go.

Ciao. That's a wrap.

Oh, and by the way, folks, there's still about 15 minutes before the polls

close, so why don't you get out and vote?

All ready for your big election night party?

Oh, yeah, I want to get there before the Cheetos run out.

Cheetos? I'll put on a tux.

Greetings, boss.

How was your evening with the lovely Pamela's mammy and pappy?

They were wowed by my intellect, charmed by my manners, and delighted by my

company. Ah, got them drunk, eh?

Buono. That's my boss.

Now, it is time to move in for the kill.

Dan, this is all so sudden.

This is my grandmother's wedding ring. I'm going to give it to little Pammy and

then pop the question and then give it to little Pammy.

that's been covering up all my posters.

Art, how could you?

Look, I gotta be frank with you.

I just think that Howard Ritter is the kind of guy that this country needs.

He's smart.

So am I.

He's dedicated.

So am I.

He's my brother -in -law.

And if the lazy bum lands that big job in Washington, he moves out and I

get my den back.

Good day.

23 % of the votes tallied. Public defender Christine Sullivan trails her

opponent, former tennis instructor Howard Ritter, by 14 ,000. A

large lead for the unemployed candidate who currently resides in his brother -in

-law's den.

Hey, Roz.

Roz. Is there anything you want to say? I'm calling this piece Reflection on an

Election.

If you don't get that thing out of my face, it's going to be concussion at the

convention.

You know, Christine, you should be proud.

You ran despite the odds.

You saw a wrong and you tried to right it. What you did was very noble.

Harry's right, Christine. I mean, if you're going to go down to the toilet,

least do it with some dignity.

Thanks for the comfort, Dan.

Hey, look, more bad news on Channel 4.

And if this trend continues, Richard will be the next... Congressman from the

13th District.

Hey, did you hear the good news?

I'm getting my den back.

Oh, go to hell.

Is Miss Monroe here, boss?

Yes. I am off to Easy Street.

More like Sleazy Street.

Pamela, your darling Danny is here.

Mr. Fielding.

Oh, Mrs. Monroe. What a surprise.

Where's Pamela?

She's not coming. I need to talk to you.

About me and Pamela?

No. About me and you.

Claire.

No, I mean, Mrs.

Monroe.

Believe me, I think you're a very attractive woman, but I am completely

committed to Pamela.

However, if things don't work out...

You've got the wrong idea.

Do you remember the summer of 67?

Oh, yes.

The summer of love, sure.

I was a lifeguard down in... Galveston, Texas. The Lone Star Beach Club.

How'd you know that?

That summer, you met a girl.

A girl with a very rich father.

You made her fall madly in love with you.

She bought you expensive gifts, took you to all the right parties.

She thought you were really serious until she found you in the back seat of

GTO with twin towel girls.

Ah, Nina and Tina.

It's all coming back to me now.

Her name was Claire.

God, it's you.

Claire.

Boy, is this a small world or what?

I'm not here to talk about the past, Dan.

I'm here to talk about my daughter.

Well, believe me, my feelings for Pamela are very genuine.

Yes, I'm sure you are deeply in love with her money and all the power and

prestige that go with it.

Come on, I'm not 18 anymore.

No kidding.

But you still act that way.

The innocent schoolboy routine, kissing up to Daddy Rich.

You haven't changed.

Uh -huh. So, um... You gonna tell Pamela about us?

Of course not.

You're going to break it off with her.

She'll be devastated.

She'll get over it.

Dan Fielding, I will not allow you to do to my daughter what you did to me.

Don't make her fall in love with you.

Give her a chance.

Hey,

what are you doing here?

Party's in the cafeteria.

Oh, I just needed a minute alone.

Oh, no, no, it's okay.

It's okay. I'm over it.

You know, just looking at your board of fortune, it's quite a choice.

Yeah.

The offer to host the TV talk show just came in an hour ago.

I'm not taking it too seriously.

It's Fox.

Well, you know, none of this is ever going to pan out.

I mean, it's a curse that hangs over all of us here.

No one ever wins elections or gets promoted or tours the world with Mel

No one ever leaves.

I know that you've been saying all along that it didn't matter whether you win

or lose, but I can see that it does.

It's all right to be disappointed.

Oh, Harry, I really did want to win.

Every night I'd fantasize about my new life in Washington.

I even slipped down to D .C. one weekend scouting schools for little Charlie.

In the back of my mind, I kept preparing myself for the worst, but now that it's

happened...

Really hurts.

Yeah.

There are going to be other opportunities.

And for now, you can comfort yourself knowing that you gave it your best shot.

Which I did.

Well, I better go call Ritter.

Congratulate him.

Do you have the number to Art's den?

Bull, what happened?

Well, I was wearing my special glasses and I walked into a bus.

How are you?

Fine. How's the bus?

Totaled.

Look, I know I've been acting a little crazy lately, thinking people have been

following me.

Oh, that's all right. We have a soft spot for crazy.

And stupid.

Well, I'm throwing these dumb glasses away, and from now on, it's business as

usual.

The people who've been following me.

Only the art people.

They're aliens.

If they're following Bull, obviously they're not studying human intelligence.

Not sure it's quiet in here.

Well, crashing defeat does have a way of spoiling a party.

Look, the picture's on.

Oh, that's a bad sign.

And looking at the congressional races,

A stunning turnaround is taking place in the 13th Congressional District where

Christine Sullivan has pulled virtually even with her opponent, Howard Ritter.

You mean I still have a chance?

Finally, a Kodak moment.

Hey, Dan, did you hear the good news? Christine still has a chance.

How thrilling.

Who are the ladies?

My date.

What happened to Pamela? I dumped her.

We're going to have to leave soon. We're going to be celebrating our own upswing

in the polls.

Hey, Tom, let's see what's on Channel 2.

So at the present count, it's a dead heat between Sullivan and Ritter.

Looks like it's going to be...