Original subtitles

Previously on Night Court... Well, it's all over, Your Honor. We're walking.

You're on strike, Art? What happened?

Management turned down all pay raises, and then they tried to impose a freeze

hiring, so we'd have to do twice the work.

So that means you'd have to do the belching and scratching for two?

I got offered a job with the Drug Enforcement Agency.

Tony, that's great!

There's only one downside.

What?

They want me to start tomorrow, and then I have to leave the country for six

months.

Well, I can change in six months. You might decide you don't want to come

or you might meet another woman.

All right, let me see. How can I prove to you I'm coming back?

I now pronounce you man and wife.

Buona fortuna!

Oh, I can't believe I did such a stupid thing. I got married in an Italian

restaurant. What could be more idiotic?

Well, a chicken and waffle joint comes to mind.

And I'm just not sure that I have a future with a man who could go off for

months. to some South American jungle.

I know how I feel, and I know what I want.

When you figure out what you want, take this down and file it,

or you can throw it in the trash.

Congratulations, Robinson.

Your job is to assign each co -worker to a specific function.

Yeah, whoa, whoa, whoa, Bozo. I didn't go to law school to wind up being a mop

jockey. Sorry, Fielding. The presiding judge said all personnel are to assist

whatever way necessary to keep these courts functioning.

Sorry, Dan.

That includes you too, Stone.

Christina, you still moping because of Tony? I mean, it's been three weeks,

girl. I know, Roz. I'm trying.

But I just got a call from my doctor.

I'm going to be a mother.

I can't believe it.

You're actually pregnant?

You think you're surprised?

I just went to the doctor because, well, I was feeling run down and a little

nauseous. I had that a few weeks ago.

I felt headachy, sick to my stomach.

Did you swell up like a balloon until a baby popped out of you?

No, I would have remembered that.

Oh, God, what am I going to do? I'm not ready to have a baby. Well, the first

thing would be to contact Tony.

Harry's right. After all, he is the father.

Yes, he's the father.

So, do you have any idea how to get a hold of him?

Well, he's undercover somewhere in South America.

Oh, God, what if I look for him and I can't find him?

What if I can find him and he doesn't care?

Oh, what if I find him and he thinks that I've done this on purpose to get

to come back to New York?

Whoa, Christine, hold on a second here.

I think you maybe underestimated the guy. I mean, what man wouldn't be proud

find out that his woman was carrying his child?

You come to mind.

I will have you know there was a time when I thought I was going to be a

When I found out it was a false alarm, I was very upset.

Right, I remember that. You were dancing on your table saying, party at my

place.

We all grieve in our own ways.

Um, could you keep that line open? I'm waiting for a call from the Drug

Enforcement Agency about Tony.

No problem.

Sorry, we're keeping this line open.

Maybe now we can get a little court work done?

Hey, I'm willing, but prosecution hasn't given us any files yet. I got them, I

got them. Here they are.

Typing files so my fingers cramped up. I still white out all over my suit.

But thanks to Mac, I've learned how to use a three -hole punch.

Don't blame me because the clerical workers joined the walkout. Yeah, well,

ridiculous for a man in my position not to have a secretary.

Yeah, I heard you've been reduced to chasing yourself around the office.

We all have problems, Dan. Can we get started, Mac? Yes, sir.

People versus nibble gun charged with soil

testing.

Check that. That should be Nicholson charged with soliciting.

Mrs. Nicholson was arrested while propositioning an otter.

That's officer.

I may be easy, but I am not sick.

How does your client plead?

Guilty.

I assume that means guilty, Your Honor.

Okay, court finds Miss Nibble gone guilty of soil testing and honor. $100

time served.

Well, congratulations, Robinson.

You've really got this galley running ship -shaped.

Oh, really?

Come on, you'd never be able to tell these swabbies don't do this full -time.

Okie -dokie, one steak dinner, that'll be $885.

What? That can't be right.

Sorry, I didn't see you had that roll.

By the way, the lady's head is low on toilet paper.

Make way!

Officer coming through!

Mac? Yeah?

You don't happen to have a message for me, do you?

No, no word from the DEA. But I did learn that the ladies' room is out of

products. Mac, I'm trying to do my job, but there isn't another spare roll in

this building.

Well, I'll just have to dip into my private stash.

Here you go.

Thank you, Mac.

I'm sure at this point nobody will care this single ply.

Excuse me.

I'd like to speak to the chef, please.

If you're sure you want to.

Anybody got a problem here?

I paid a lot of money for this steak, and it's too tough.

Oh, well, then let me tenderize it for you.

Bon appetit.

Excuse me, I'm looking for Christine Sullivan.

She's right over there.

Excuse me, Miss Sullivan.

Richard Kern, Drug Enforcement Agency.

Oh, yes, please sit down.

I understand you've been looking for one Anthony Giuliano. Yes, I have. Do you

know where he is? May I first inquire as to the nature of your relationship with

Mr. Giuliano?

Oh, we were married three weeks ago. Religious or civil ceremony?

Italian.

We were married in an Italian restaurant.

Then how come we have no record of your marriage?

Oh, well, I haven't filed the license yet. Uh -huh. So then you're not

married, are you, Miss Sullivan?

Well, I suppose you want to get technical.

Look, I can only tell you this much.

Agent Giuliano's on a highly classified mission.

There's no way I can contact him.

Well, if I were you, I would operate under the assumption that you won't be

seeing him again.

Oh, God, there must be something I can do.

Well, come to think of it, there is. Oh, please tell me anything.

I'll try to be brief.

Oh.

Hi, Your Honor.

Well, have you ever smelled anything like this in your life?

Yeah.

One Thanksgiving when an old possum crawled into Grandma Shannon's heating

and died.

the overpowering, gamey smell of decay reminds me of the holidays.

Marley!

Stone!

Can I help you with anything?

Yeah, you can get someone to take this garbage downstairs where it belongs.

Let me show you the process.

If you have a grievance, You put it in writing, and you give it to Robinson.

That's called going through channels.

Channels. Everything works if you go through channels.

Shine those shoes and suck in that gut, seller.

Okay, Mommy, smile for the camera.

Oh, what are you doing?

I'm going to make a video record of your entire pregnancy.

I even got a weatherproof lens in case your water breaks during a close -up.

Oh, please, Paul. I'm really not in the mood right now.

Any word on Tony?

No, and I don't expect to hear anything.

I guess it's going to be pretty tough being a single mom and everything.

Of course, you could always marry someone else.

Well, boy, I'm not going to marry a stranger just so my baby will have a

I was thinking more in terms of a man you already know.

Someone who loves kids?

Someone you work with?

I don't snore and I can work a cocking gun.

A kid needs a dad around to show him the basics.

You know, how to throw a ball, how to fish, how to survive a blizzard by

open a bear and using the insides for warmth.

Oh, Bull.

As flattered as I am, and oh, I am flattered.

I, you know, I just don't think that we have enough in common to really make a

go of it.

Yep.

We would have needed a lot of counseling, all right.

You know, to be honest, I just wanted to be around a baby.

Really?

Yeah. I figured it'd be kind of like meet a new best friend who just happens

be real short and wets his pants a lot.

You've got to do something about this stench. I know, I know. The heating

must be cooking the garbage out in the hallway. Just keep spraying.

No, I can't. This bottle's going to last me all night.

Dan, I'm asking as a friend.

All right, all right, all right.

20 bucks.

20 bucks for a can of air freshener?

For one spray.

Get out of your mind. You think I'm going to pay 20 bucks for a spray?

Five.

Well, all right, all right.

That wasn't a spray. That was a squirt.

You wanted to see me, sir?

Yes, ma 'am.

Your friend Marley seems to think that I should be going through channels.

Okay. What can I do for you?

Inhale.

Whoa!

There you go.

What are you going to do about it, Mr. Floor Supervisor?

Well, I'll have to refer this to my janitorial staff.

Good. Harry, get that stuff out of there.

Your Honor, do you have a minute?

If you're wearing perfume, I've got all night.

What's up?

I'm quitting.

Quitting what?

My job.

What are you talking about?

Well, I've been thinking about it a lot, and there's no way I can keep working

and give my baby everything it needs.

Wait a minute. You're only six weeks along. Don't you think you're jumping

gun here a little bit?

The first three months of a pregnancy are the most crucial. You know,

to this book, my baby, as we speak, is sprouting leg buds.

I'm sure it's a great -looking pair of leg buds.

Who knows? In this environment, this building is so old. There's probably

asbestos in the ventilation system. There's cigarette butts out in the

No, I wouldn't be surprised if there was an old Camaro out in the hallway.

Where are you going to go?

Back home to Buffalo.

Buffalo?

Why don't you just stay here and sleep in your freezer?

I happen to have grown up there, and I want my baby to have everything I did.

To be around family, to grow up in a warm house with a big backyard so he can

play with a dog named Puddles.

Well, he was a little nervous.

Miss Sullivan, stop.

Listen to yourself. Do you realize how ridiculous you sound?

Wait. I want to thank you for your good wishes.

My resignation will be here in the morning.

Miss Sullivan. Oh, damn.

Miss Sullivan.

It's you.

Peace offering.

For the little one.

Oh, this is baby's first present.

Hope he likes it.

Minus eight months is a tough age to shop for.

Thank you, Harry.

It's also an apology for this afternoon. Oh, please, you don't need to

apologize. We're just trying to help. Well, partly, but...

I was also trying to talk you out of going, because we're going to miss you.

I'm going to miss you.

It's hard to believe you're... I know.

I'm going to have a baby.

Hey,

guys.

Neato.

It's Uncle Harry.

Say something to Christine's baby, sir.

Hi, I'm Harry, but then aren't we all?

Well, maybe he hasn't heard it yet, sir.

Hey, Christine.

Hi. Harry told us you were quitting, so we came by to wish you luck. And we

brought some gifts for the little type. Oh, you guys are too generous.

Yeah, I left the price tag on mine in case you had any doubts about that.

I got you a gift, too, Christine.

No peeking. It's a surprise.

Dan, what are you doing here?

Well, it turns out a stewardess I'm seeing lives in your building.

Oh, really? What's your name?

I don't know.

Relationship really hasn't progressed that far yet.

Oh, I got something for the little bun.

Oh, Dan, that is so...

Sweet. It's anatomically correct, too.

Take your word for it.

It's Uncle Dan.

Say something to the baby, Uncle Dan.

You're going to love breastfeeding.

So, Christine, have you decided when you're going to move yet?

Yeah, in a couple of weeks.

I'll give my notice, and then I'll have to start packing.

You know, even though we're all going to miss you, I think you're doing a smart

thing by moving back to Buffalo.

Why?

She's moving there so she'll be in a cleaner and a more wholesome and a safer

environment.

Buffalo, New York?

Well, all right, it's not a garden spot, but I did grow up there, and I had a

wonderful childhood.

Right, and your whole family's there, right?

Well, actually, it's just my dad and his Uncle Irv.

Well, I'm sure you still have friends you grew up with. Oh, yeah, yeah. As a

matter of fact, I went to my high school reunion, and I saw this girl who was in

my math class, Carol, I think.

Anyway, I'm going to look her up.

Well, you know what? The great thing is, though, you're going to be living in

your dad's old, big, comfortable house, and that's him.

You know, crappy, cheesy condominium.

Yeah, well, actually, my dad did sell his house, but he's living in the nicest

condominium.

Long day, huh?

Yeah.

Shall we?

Take care. Oh, thank you so much for coming and for the gifts.

You remember we're here.

And we care about you, no matter where you go or what you do.

Thank you, Harry.

Good night.

Good night.

Hey, you. You want to open Harry's gift?

have to wear these when Harry comes to visit.

Let's see, what have we here?

Oh, a book from Auntie Roz.

Horton Stomps a Who.

And let's see, this is from Mack and Quan Lee.

It's a picture of Mommy and all her friends at work.

Okay, that's Mac.

And that's Bull, who's a little bit different, but he means well.

And that's Dan, who doesn't.

And that's Harry.

And that's Roz.

Oh, baby, we are so lucky to have such good friends.

We're almost like family.

They are my family.

But they will come to visit us.

Every time they're on their way to... Ottawa?

Who am I kidding?

New York, it's so filthy, it's crowded, it's noisy.

It's home.

It's home.

You wouldn't be too mad at me if I were to change my mind about moving, would

you?

I mean, let's face it, sweetie.

My life is here.

Our life is here.

your new neighbor.

I'm not wearing anything.

Well, you have nothing to be proud of.

Don't worry. You'll get used to that, too.

Of course, I don't know if Tony's coming back, but even if he does, we still

have an awful lot to work out.

So, um, if you guys don't mind, I may have to lean on you now and then.

It was just my way of saying, I'm glad you're staying.

We're all glad you're staying. Thank you, sir. Thank you, guys.

Now, if you don't mind, I have a few files to go over.

Paul, do you really intend to follow me around until the baby's born?

Don't be silly.

I've only got a thousand hours of tape.

Good news, you're out and the strike's over.

You're back!

You bet.

You little socket monkey.

If you're back, that means the secretaries are back.

Not a moment too soon, either. Yesterday, I caught myself noticing a

visible panty line.

Oh, hey, Your Honor. Now that I'm back on a job, I'll take care of that fixture

in the courtroom.

I'm counting on you.

Well, guess we better all get back to work.

Yeah.

Well, Matt, I guess things are finally going to get back to normal around here.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Uh, sir?

Sir? Look, uh, I know I rode you pretty hard the last couple of weeks. Hey, but

you did volunteer me for the job.

You're not going to try to get back at me, are you?

Oh, I don't think I'm that petty, Mac.

Of course, we'll know for sure in the next couple of days.

Well, wait.