Original subtitles

Hi, guys.

And how's everybody today?

Just dandy.

Is there some reason for all these high spirits?

Oh, I suppose.

Could it be that you and your cop boyfriend have been spending the day

mattress rodeo?

Dan, I'm in such a good mood, I refuse to be insulted by the tasteless bilge

that comes out of your mouth.

Well, I hope this doesn't keep up. Takes all the fun out of being me.

We're collecting for the Salvation Army. Oh, it would be my pleasure.

And this would be mine.

Relax,

Sullivan. It's me.

I'm undercover.

You know, Tony, if you were to get a normal job, you wouldn't have to dress

this.

Who says I have to?

Well, in that case, I gotta tell you, you make a pretty bad -looking woman. I

was hoping you'd say that.

Am I going to understand this when I grow up?

So, officer, are those department issue or homegrown?

Admit it, Dan, you've gone after worse.

And I still can't believe that people would stoop low enough to knock over a

Salvation Army stand.

Yeah, have you caught those punks yet?

No, but I'm leading my group in donations.

That doesn't surprise me. Tony's good at everything.

You wouldn't believe him last night.

Start with the part when you first felt flushed.

He made dinner.

Oh.

He cooked a bouillabaisse.

Let him go, Sullivan.

I have some important news to tell you.

What is it?

I got offered a job with the Drug Enforcement Agency.

Tony, that's great! I've only been waiting ten years for this. Now, instead

busting some small -time punk, I can finally really make a difference.

There's only one downside.

What?

They want me to start tomorrow, and then I have to leave the country for six

months.

Well, that's definitely a downside.

So what do you think? Should I take it?

You're asking me?

Yeah, I want you to be behind whatever I do.

Well, I want what you want, Tony. No, no, no, no. I want you to want what I

want. Well, I want to want what you want me to want.

I want you to take the job.

Sullivan, you're terrific.

I'm gonna go tell them they can count me in.

Oh, listen, why don't I come back later, pick you up? We'll go someplace real

special. Great.

Um, any chance you could change your clothes?

Good idea.

I'll try something backless.

Well, it's all over, Your Honor. We're walking.

You're on strike, Art? What happened?

Management turned down all pay raises, and then they tried to impose a freeze

hiring, so we'd have to do twice to work.

So that means you'd have to do the belching and scratching for two?

Judge Stone.

Request permission to come aboard.

I'm Ed Morley, building operation manager.

Now that Finsterman and his fellow mutineers have deserted, it's my job to

this ship running smoothly.

Oh, yeah?

Well, I got something to say to you, pal.

Why don't you spare us your witty repartee, Art?

Don't worry, Judge.

He's just bitter because he won't be missed once Strike Con 1's in place.

Strike Con 1?

Level 1 of Strike Contingency Action, under which I'll be repair and

commander. In your dreams.

Not so fast, Fensterman.

That tool belt is city property.

Hey, come on.

This has been at my side for 20 years.

It'll be like giving up a wife.

What do you do with that socket wrench?

Come on, let's have it.

You'll pay for this.

You sure you're up to the job, Marley? Piece of cake, Judge.

There's one thing they taught me in the Coast Guard.

It's march or die.

If you need me, I'll be on the bridge.

Guarda bello, no?

Christine Sullivan, Santino. Nice to meet you.

Tony and me, we got an agreement that we can get fresh with each other's

girlfriend.

No, we don't.

My mistake.

I've got a great table waiting for you.

Judge Hopkins!

Yes? Christine Sullivan. Sullivan, I argued one of my very first cases in

of you. Oh, but it was a long time ago, so I'm sure you don't remember.

Wait a minute.

Weren't you the one who broke out in the tears when you lost the case, started

hyperventilating, had to be dragged out with a bag over your head?

Oh, so you do remember me.

Well, it's been a pleasure seeing you again, sir.

This is one of our best tables.

And the wine you request?

What do you think? Oh, it's beautiful.

Wine, candlelight.

You thought of everything, but...

Violin

music.

Will you like it? It stinks.

It stinks? How in the hell did you think about going away and leaving me for six

months?

Do you mind? Not at all.

I thought you told me before that you wanted me to go. I did, but I was lying.

What?

Tony, I love you. I don't want you to go.

I already told him I would.

Well, could you just tell him you can't make it?

Six months is a long time.

Honey, I haven't gotten squatted in six years. You get used to it.

I mean, I can change in six months. You might decide you don't want to come

back, or you might meet another woman.

Sullivan, I don't want another woman.

Don't worry, I'm coming back.

How can I be sure?

All right, let me see. How can I prove to you I'm coming back?

I know.

I'll leave you my license like you do at the rec center when you check out a

ball.

Or I could give you my lucky cleaning receipt.

Tony! Or I could marry you.

What? He asked you to marry him.

I told you I'm not taking the burium.

Let me get this straight.

You're asking me to marry you. You love me, don't you?

Why, yes, I do.

But... You know me. I don't like to rush into things. I won't even open my

clothes dryer before the timer stops.

Come on, Sullivan. You can't tell me that you haven't thought about the two

us getting married.

Well, maybe I have a little.

So let's do it.

Grab him, honey. Look what you can get stuck with.

What?

I said I love you.

Yes. Yes?

Yes.

All right.

Oh, my God, I can't believe this is happening.

Okay, you'll be back in August. I gave the six months to plan.

I've always wanted a summer wedding.

Well, actually, I was thinking we could do it tomorrow before I leave.

What?

Well, Tony, in the first place, it takes at least a couple of days to get the

marriage license.

Not when you know the right people in City Hall.

So, here's my plan.

We do it before session tomorrow.

You're really serious.

Nothing leaves two hearts wanting like a missed moment when the love is pure.

Okay.

I should have known better than to fall for an English major.

Okay, so, three o 'clock tomorrow.

Okay.

Oh, no.

I have to take depositions all day tomorrow.

Okay, how about we do it now?

Yeah, right. Where are we going to find somebody to marry us now, Tony?

Waiter.

Excuse me, Judge Hopkins.

Excuse me, we got a problem here? Not at all, Santino. I was just going to ask

the judge to interrupt this meal and to marry Miss Sullivan and myself.

Don't talk. Of course he's going to do it. Wait, wait. I haven't had a bite to

eat all day.

Amore always come before linguine.

to the ceremony by heart. You're going to do fine.

The spirit is going to come over you.

And besides, the macaroni is going to be on the house.

Dearly beloved friends and guests, hold your horse, judge.

We are gathered here... Your Honor, your bib.

We are gathered here in front of, uh...

A bunch of strangers eating dinner. Join together this man and this woman in

holy matrimony.

Join hands.

Do you, Christine,

take Tony to be your lawfully wedded husband? Do you promise to love, honor,

and... Obey.

Don't forget obey.

Excuse me.

Nobody says obey anymore.

That's the trouble today.

Nobody obeys. That's why we got a graffiti on the subway.

Everybody's stealing my radio. Santino.

We maybe just say, um, cherish.

How about ignore?

I like cherish.

Will you love, honor, and cherish him in sickness and in health?

And all the rest of the time?

Tony?

Same question.

I do.

By the authority of the state of New York, I now pronounce you man and wife.

Buona fortuna!

That's a nice job, Judge.

Now get into the kitchen and go to town.

I love weddings.

And in case you're interested, I fool around.

Hey, Mac, we ready to shake and bake?

I'd love to, sir, but we're missing a basic ingredient.

Sorry. Sorry, sorry.

All my fault.

It'll never happen again.

Christine, you look like something a cat hocked up.

I know. I was up a little late last night.

Oh, yeah?

Tony, stay for a second cup of coffee?

No.

Did you ever have one of those crazy nights where you did something really

impulsive? I'll say. That's how I met Eric Severide.

Guys, I'm sure this is very fascinating, but we are way behind.

Oh, right, right, sir. This can wait.

Call the first case, Matt. Yes, sir. People versus Haynes.

Okay, I got married last night.

That's recess.

just thinking, how could she do such a thing?

But Tony asked me in a restaurant, and there were flowers and violin music and

judge with linguine, and it was just, I don't know, so beautiful, I just all of

a sudden found myself saying, I do.

Well, I admit it was a little sudden.

Well, come on, guys, I think you'd be at least a little bit happy for me.

Hey, Miss Sullivan, we are happy for you, it's just that we're surprised.

This isn't like you.

Yeah, I've seen you take an hour weighing your options at a salad bar.

Well, Rob, there were over 40 items.

It's just that after all these years, we've become like a family. I always

figured when you got married, I'd be there.

Get the first crack at the bridesmaids.

I'm really sorry to disappoint you guys.

Look, Christine, the bottom line is...

We want what's best for you. If you really love him... I do.

Then we're happy for you. Thank you.

All the best. Thank you. Congratulations,

Christine.

Or should we say Mrs.

Giuliano?

Okay, let's not.

Well, a chicken and waffle joint comes to mind.

Come on.

Hey,

whatever's wrong, it's not going to help to get this therapy.

Yeah, so what if it was the biggest mistake of your life? Big deal.

Guys, how that brain of yours doesn't roll out of your ear holes, I'll never

know.

Christine, Christine, so we got done.

Little honeymoon night problems, huh? The Italian stallion couldn't get out of

the gate.

Stan, get out of here.

Well, no, I'm sorry. That came out all wrong.

I'm sorry, sir.

No, there's no need to apologize. I know you.

You're not going to get this upset unless you have a good reason.

Did you know that Tony's leaving tonight for six months to fight drug dealers in

South America?

See, that's a real good reason.

Oh, this is all my fault for being such an incurable romantic.

Oh, I don't know. Oh, boy, give me some candlelight and violin music. I become

one of the pod people.

Maybe I should just annul the marriage.

You could.

But I love him.

Then don't.

Oh, sure, what do you care? It's not your life.

I seem to be lagging behind a step here.

It's his job.

What about it?

I'm not sure I can be married to a cop.

It scares me. Is that so strange?

No, not at all.

What should I do?

Well, if I were you...

I can't tell you that.

This is a conversation that you've got to have with your husband.

Husband?

Okay, okay.

Let's just call him the guy you had dinner with last night.

Oh, sorry, sir. I shouldn't be doing this to you.

I can tell you this.

The only way you're going to be really happy is if you do what you feel you

should do, not...

What you think you should do.

Well, not Buddha, but it was the best I could come up with on short notice.

Hey, Judge, they told me... Oh, there you are, Mrs.

Giuliano.

Tony, what are you doing here?

Well, I was on my way to file our marriage license, and I thought maybe

wanted to come with me.

Oh, she told you the good news, right?

Yeah, yeah.

Congratulations.

Thanks. I'll leave you two lovebirds.

I thought he'd never leave.

Okay, come here. Tony, I think we should talk.

What? What's going on?

I'm... I think we made a mistake getting married.

A mistake?

What are you talking about?

Look, it's just that...

Marriage isn't the kind of decisions you should rush into.

I mean, I think it's great that you've gotten me to do all these crazy things

like running up on the roof and yelling, Hey, New York, I love this guy.

Yes, what's the problem? I mean, you still love this guy, don't you?

Yes, I do.

But there is a big difference between loving someone and making a commitment

them for the rest of your life.

And I'm just not sure that I have a future with a man who could go off for

months to some South American jungle.

You really want me to give up this DEA thing?

It wouldn't make any difference if you did. Tony, you're still a cop.

I mean, every time I hear a siren and my stomach tightens, every time I hear a

cop's been shot, I'm terrified that it's you.

You want me to quit being a cop? No, I don't. Yes, I do.

I... I don't know. I'm so confused.

I can't quit.

You know what my job means to me. You knew that when you met me. I know, I

Good thing I didn't file this yet, huh?

Look, I know how I feel, and I know what I want.

When you figure out what you want, take this down and file it,

or you can throw it in the trash.

As the maintenance workers strike in at his 23rd day, the city's janitors join

the other workers who've already agreed to not cross the picket line until the

dispute is resolved.

Boy, you think Art can really bring the city to its knees?

Only if he raises both arms at once.

Boy, there.

As you were, men.

Well, I just wanted to tell you that we've got that striking scum on the run.

What the hell are you talking about, Marley?

Every city worker has abandoned the building and the place is beginning to

like a pigsty. That's right. They've given me the excuse I've been looking

to upgrade from strike on one to strike on three.

Does strike on three by any chance include a new roll of toilet paper in

men's john?

It can.

But first I need someone to be responsible for coordinating operations

floor.

Oh, if you're looking for somebody who's good at coordinating, I'd say Mac's

your choice.

Oh,

come on, Mac.

Organization of operations? That's the kind of thing you're so darn good at?

Congratulations, Robinson.

Your job is to assign each co -worker to a specific function.

Yeah, whoa, whoa, whoa, Bozo. I didn't go to law school to wind up being a mop

jockey. Sorry, Fielding. The presiding judge said all personnel are to assist

whatever way necessary to keep these courts functioning.

Sorry, Dan.

That includes you too, Stone.

What?

Well... Well, I'm going to move on to the 19th deck.

Carry on, Robinson.

Well, sir, here's one right down your alley.

Janitorial services.

Oh, man.

Oh, but sir, you're so darn good at that sort of thing.

Hi, Miss Sullivan.

You okay?

Yeah, fine.

Christina, you still moping because of Tony?

I mean, it's been three weeks, girl. The guy has history.

You got to snap out of it. I know, Roz, I'm trying.

But I just got a call from my doctor.

I'm going to be a mother.

What a quack.

Doesn't he know he'd have to get pregnant first?