Original subtitles

Nice to see you.

Nice to have you here.

Nice yabos.

You fielding?

Absolutely. What can I do for you? Button, pamphlet, bumper sticker?

We'll take them all.

All right. The people can't get enough, huh? Yeah. Neither can your printer.

Next time, pay your bill. Hey, hey, what?

Yeah,

like you can reuse any of that stuff.

Tough break, Dan.

Oh, that, Dad. Just a little cash flow problem. No big deal.

You finish with the saltine. Could I look out the wrapper?

Here you go. I packed an extra sandwich.

I think you'll like it. It's the time of year for fresh possum.

Hi, guys.

Hi, Steve.

Okay,

I'll say it.

What's with that butt -ugly pin you're wearing?

It's a gift from Ted.

It's a cricket.

Because, well, that's what he calls me. He says I chirp when I laugh.

Aww.

That's why I don't tell you guys anything.

Oh, come on, Miss Sullivan. You've been dating this guy for four weeks and you

haven't told us diddly.

Now, we deserve some details.

Oh, yeah, like I can't have a life outside the courtroom?

You know the rules. Either you talk or on your next date, we follow in a van.

All right, he's stopping by here on his way to a meeting anyway, so I might as

well.

We met at the gym.

He's a sensitive, intelligent, incredibly handsome man.

Well, I hear nothing that sets him apart from one fellow at this table.

Thanks, Harry.

Oh, there is actually one thing I should tell you about him so that you don't

make a faux pas.

No promises. I just ate that possum.

He's... Well, he's been married before.

Oh, come on, Miss Sullivan. Lots of men have been married before.

There you are, Cricket.

Ted.

Who's his ex -wife?

Eve?

In general, Mr. Crosby, when someone says they want to see one of New York's

finest, they're referring to a policeman.

That will be $50 and one day in jail.

And we're out of here.

So, is Father Time coming back tonight?

If you mean Ted, the answer is yes. He's taking me to a very nice restaurant.

You have to cut his meat for him, don't you?

Dan, grow up.

How old is he?

Does that really matter?

No. But give us a hint. Is he a veteran?

Yes. World War II?

Gettysburg?

I just can't believe how small -minded you all are about this. Oh, come on,

Sullivan. We're just concerned about you. And let's be honest.

Are we perhaps looking for a father figure here?

Are we perhaps a tad jealous here?

Who, me?

Ha, ha, ha.

Of what, pray tell?

Of a successful, self -made man who treats me like a lady and doesn't need a

buzzer to get attention.

Whoa, back up.

Gramps has money?

Yes, if that's important to you.

Cricket, you ready to go?

Ted, Ted, Ted, Ted.

We had so little time to talk. Did Christine tell you that I'm running for

assembly? Yes, and I plan to give you every consideration.

Damn it, man, I need money.

I'm sorry I never contribute to political campaigns. You know, when

land development, it looks like you're currying favors.

Listen, if elected, I promise I won't do anything for you.

I'm sure you'll find support somewhere.

You bet I will.

But I wouldn't be running for public office if I didn't think there was

out there who would want to buy me.

Well, we all set? I'll just get my coat.

Be nice.

I'm always nice.

Judge, I've got to tell you, I really like that tie.

Oh, yeah? It's an original from the 40s.

Must bring back a lot of memories for a guy like you.

Oh, it does.

We buried my dad in a tide just like that.

Ah, the good old days.

When women were women and men wore hats.

And to think you got to experience it all in your prime.

Well, I like to think I'm still in my prime.

I don't like to brag, but, you know, I can still bench press 300 pounds.

How about you, Judge?

Are we talking one hand or two?

Here you go, sir. I got that cap off the aspirin bottle for you.

Thank you, Dad. Don't mention it.

You know, there's one game I really enjoy.

That's racquetball.

Oh, I play a little racquetball myself.

Oh, we'll have to play sometime.

How about tomorrow afternoon?

Well, two o 'clock, all right. You're on.

All set.

Fantastic. Guess what?

Harry and I are going to play racquetball tomorrow.

Oh, really?

Did Ted happen to mention that he's the state senior champ?

Gosh, no, he didn't.

Come on. See you tomorrow.

So, you gonna fake the flu or go right for the old heart attack?

You're sure you're all right?

Oh, yeah, I'm fine.

Well, maybe we shouldn't have played that fifth game.

Oh, don't be ridiculous.

I was just hitting my stride.

Hey, didn't my door used to have a lock on it?

Oh, hi.

So, how was the game?

Well, the judge let the old man win a few.

Don't think I didn't notice.

Yeah,

well, you watch out for next time. No more Mr. Nice Guy.

Say, Cricket, why don't we invite Harry to the Dinner Dance Club tomorrow night?

That is, if you feel up to it.

Oh, sure.

Well, great. Dan?

Uh, well...

No offense, but I'm not really up for an evening of the fox trot and prune whip.

Well, that's too bad, because there'll probably be a lot of big political

contributors there.

Blue suit okay?

Be perfect.

And listen, if it isn't too much trouble, would you mind driving cricket?

Because I'll be coming straight from a meeting in Boston. Oh, absolutely.

The city has no place for an unescorted woman.

Take the subway to my place. We'll cab it from there.

Well.

I gotta be getting to the airport.

Hurry back.

Hi. I'll really miss you when you're gone.

Thanks, but I had to spray my locker for silverfish.

Maybe we'll finish this outside.

Sir, we're ready when you are.

Be just a minute, Ball.

What's up?

I can't move anything but my tongue.

You know, Cricket, I've been thinking.

What?

Well, this isn't a place to bring it up. Oh, no, no, no. You can't do that. You

started it. You have to finish.

Well, I was thinking about us, where we're headed.

Cricket, I think the time has come when we should take the next logical step.

Oh, Ted.

Christine, I'm sorry to bother you. Then don't.

It can't wait.

That's what is so important.

If you don't sign his bail motion, your client goes back to jail.

And it's so cold down there.

Good luck, Mr. Crosby.

Sorry.

I shouldn't have brought it up here.

I wanted to do it right tomorrow night in a more romantic atmosphere.

Oh, I don't know. I think it looks pretty romantic from here.

Or

we

could wait till tomorrow.

I love you, Cricket.

Gateway!

Good evening, Sullivan.

How you doing?

Oh, just great.

I think I was just proposed to.

What?

Court

finds the defendant

guilty. Fifty dollars in time.

and I need to talk.

Sure.

Be careful, sir. Speed kills.

What is it you wanted to talk about, sir?

Oh, the weather.

What's on TV.

Your wedding.

There isn't any wedding yet.

Ted and I haven't officially discussed it. Well, I hope you're bearing in mind

that marriage is an enormous step.

Oh, Harry, come on. Lighten up.

I mean, this could be the best thing that she has ever done.

Well, thank you, Dan.

If that old goat could croak, she'll be rolling in it.

Were you raised by pigs?

Yeah, Dan. What if Ted had a long -lingering illness that drained him of

cent they had while he lay in a slack -jawed vegetative state?

That ought to shut him up.

I really don't believe you guys can't get past this age thing.

Well, Christine, it is a legitimate issue. I know you want kids.

So? So, when the other boys are out playing catch with their dads, your son

be building a ramp to the back door for you.

Listen, I didn't go out looking for a man who's somewhat older than I am.

I just want someone who cares about what I feel and what I think.

Nice set of buns never hurt either.

All right, look.

Before you say yes, don't you think you should at least sleep with the old

geezer? You know, just make sure the little admiral can still salute.

What makes you think I haven't?

Okay, I don't think we need any more details.

Miss Sullivan, we just want you to be happy.

I am happy, thank you. And I hope that you find someone who makes you just as

happy.

Maybe I already have.

Well, great. Bring her to the dance tomorrow night. I'd love to meet her.

Matt? Yes, sir, I know.

You'll need a list of all the unmarried women in the building.

I love that

smell. What?

Old money.

Tonight, the fielding campaign...

as a favor to me, could you try just this once to not be a wiener?

There you are, Cricket.

Hello,

Dan. Yeah, but hey, enough chit -chat, huh? Time to mix the mingletead.

Not a bad idea. There's a woman here tonight you should meet. Oh?

Now, her name is Cynthia Dalby, and she is incredibly wealthy, and she views

politics as a kind of a hobby.

A babe with bucks. What could be more perfect?

My, my, he's much more than that.

Meet Cynthia.

Skittish little colt, isn't he?

Oh, Cynthia, hi. Oh, lovely name, Cynthia. Had a gerbil name, Cynthia.

Why don't we get to know each other on the dance floor? I want to see how you

move. Why don't... Why don't you leave?

You hear that?

That's an old Artie Shaw tune.

Artie goes back quite a ways.

Oh. You mean like Devo?

No, no. Back to the big band era.

When dinosaurs roamed the earth.

Harry. Glad you could make it.

I don't believe we've met your friend, have we? Oh, this is Pepper Langston.

Hi.

Pepper.

What a cute name.

Pepper, these are my friends, Ted and Cricket.

is a well -kept secret, isn't it? Well, you're not the only one with a private

life, Miss Sullivan.

Well, I'm very pleased you and the judge could join us tonight.

You're a judge?

Shall we?

Well, you know, my, um...

My views on law and order

are well -documented.

I mean, you don't spend...

Twelve years as an assistant D .A. in this city without having some pretty

ideas on law enforcement.

Ever make love on wicker?

That's it, sir. Get wild. Get crazy.

I'll have you know you're not the only one on this floor who had lessons at

Arthur Murray.

Hold on.

Oh,

you found us a free table.

Listen here.

I've done some pretty sleazy things in my time, but I'm not going to be turned

into someone's sexual plaything for a measly campaign contribution.

I gave John Kennedy $50 ,000.

You mean...

And you've got better hair.

You know, I've been thinking about

what we were talking about, about us and our future together.

Oh, now, wait a minute. You were going to let me do this right, you remember?

Now, please, sit down here.

I want to do this just the way I practiced it.

Oh, my gosh, Ted.

This is happening so fast.

Well, at my age, I don't waste time making decisions.

Hope I'm not rushing you. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Just promise me.

If I say yes, we can wait till October.

The trees are so beautiful then, and my favorite crystal goes on sale.

I was hoping we could get this done next week.

Next week?

Well, that would be hardly enough time to plan a real wedding.

A wedding?

Well, I'm just asking you to move in with me.

What? Now, what the hell is this?

Another stupid cricket?

Honey, I'm sorry if you got the wrong impression.

Well, you said that we should take the next logical step.

Yeah, well, for me, that is not marriage. You know, I've been down that

30 years.

Not ready to do that again.

Well, when will you be ready?

A month?

A year? Five years?

I don't know. Maybe never. But, you know, that doesn't mean I don't love

I'm merely asking you to... Check up?

For your information, at this point in my life, I'm not real interested in

playing house.

Now, why is that so terrible?

Because I'll be living in sin.

You know what I mean.

Look, I'm not looking for someone to share the rent.

I'm looking for someone to share my life.

I need a commitment, and to me, that means marriage.

Piece of paper that says it's all right.

Come on, Christine, don't you think you're being a little old -fashioned?

You're calling me old -fashioned?

I bet you can't even name one of Barry Manilow's hits.

You know, at your age, if you're this out of state... You should think about

joining a gym.

No, no, it's just my trick knee, that's all.

Now, Christine, admit it. You are very conservative.

Not about everything.

That's right. I once saw her chug a near beer.

What about the gallery we went to and you had to cover your eyes so you

see the nude artwork?

Art? It was a woman with no head and six breasts.

Oh, you saw the LeFevre exhibit.

I love his stuff.

Hey, next time you want to see a collage of people's privates, take her.

Have we by any chance dropped by at a bad time?

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. No, we were just discussing Ted's proposal to make me

his roomie, not his wife. Oh, Cricket. Look, look, if all you want is someone

share your food and warm your bed, get a dog.

Cricket, please.

Wow.

How embarrassing.

If it's any help, I know a guy who's trying to get rid of an Airedale.

Excuse me, I was wondering... You looking for that blonde girl who dumped

old guy?

That would be an efficient way of putting it.

Could we please have a couple of minutes alone?

Are you kidding?

I'm responsible for the stuff in here.

Lock up before you leave

How

you doing

dandy

Would it help if I told you that I know how you feel

how can you know how I feel When was the last time you were propositioned by a

sexagenarian?

I used to have a landlady who came down to my door with her stockings rolled

down.

Why is it I can never find the right man at the right time? Either he's ready

and I'm not, or I'm ready and he's not.

My timings stink.

Fresh truth.

Miss Sullivan, trust me.

There is a man out there for you.

One day when you're not expecting it, when you're not even looking for it,

you're going to turn around and there he will be.

Oh, yeah? When?

Do you happen to know what the odds are against a woman my age finding a man?

Not offhand, no.

Excuse me.

Can we get our coats, please?

Sure.

40 to 1.

And in another five years, 70 to 1.

What's the problem? You're still paying for that mink?

There you go.

Kleenex fund.

Thanks.

Sullivan, you're right about love.

There are no guarantees.

But you are an intelligent and caring and very beautiful woman.

And some man is going to love you very much.

How can you be so sure?

Because if I weren't a judge and you weren't working in my court...

What I mean is, if I

knew someone exactly like me, I know he'd be crazy about someone exactly like

you.

Oh, boy, look at us. We're all dressed up and we're hiding out in a coat room.

What could be more pathetic?

Look, Cynthia, I'm telling you, I don't look good in Toreador pants.

Let me be the judge of that.

Again,

I have to apologize for the scene I made last night.

Listen, I think I win the prize for insensitivity. Hey, wasn't that crack

get a dog?

Forget that. Christine.

You are one great lady, and I hope someday you find the right guy.

Thank you. I hope you find whatever it is you're looking for, too.

Ted!

The play starts in ten minutes, and we don't want to miss the dance of the

embryos.

Enjoy.

You okay, Miss Sullivan?

Oh, yeah.

I guess it helps that I'm not really up to see a play that takes place in a

uterus.

Hey, Ross, is there any mail for me?

As a matter of fact.

All right, hallelujah, from Cynthia Dalby.

The fruit of compromise.

This is just the grease we need to get the fielding campaign machine roaring

again. I can't believe you spent the night with that woman just for a

contribution.

I did it for the people.

Twenty bucks?

Who does that overstuffed potato think I am?

This might explain it. Dear Dan, you know Jack Kennedy.