Original subtitles

Ah, there's nothing like a thunderstorm.

It's probably the most awesome spectacle of nature.

Obviously, you've not seen me in my new fishnets.

Hey, gang, look, the new computers are here. Aren't you excited?

Yeah, it's all I can do to keep my breakfast down.

Oh, come on, guys, so you might have to do a little bit of adjusting, but

believe me, everybody's going to love these things.

I want that appliance from hell off my desk now.

Come on, this is going to be a great help. I'm sure the city has bought us

finest equipment, and they're having it installed by top -notch experts.

That's a beautiful table coming through.

Experts who apparently have taken the day off.

Hey, Paul, if you can hear me, talk on the line.

Loud and clear. Good.

All right, I'd like to get the session started.

Sir, I gotta get a line to the top of the roof, and Bull's the only one

to climb up the side of the building.

Why don't you use the stairs?

Oh, sure.

Where were you an hour ago?

Bull, reel it in.

Come on, Matt, let's fire the puppy up.

I'd rather suck on a brillo pad, sir.

Come on, there's nothing to it. Take it one step at a time. Just push that

button.

Gee, and I was worried.

It's just a machine.

Oh, Harry, I miss my paper files.

I miss my clipboards.

I miss my pencils.

You know you do, guy, but they're gone.

Still, life must continue. We must move on. Come on, let's do it together. Come

on.

Let's push the button. Come on.

are our friends.

What's the first case, Mac?

People versus Pac -Man, sir.

Well, it saved you a quarter already.

Just watch.

Art, let me explain something to you. I am a judge. This is my bench. This is my

courtroom. This is my gavel. Now, when you come into the courtroom and you see

Mr. Judge at Mr. Bench with Mr.

Gavel, you have to ask yourself a question.

Silently. Is what I have to say important enough to justify the five

jail I'm going to get for disrupting the judge's courtroom?

Now that we've had our little lesson, tell me, Art, is what you have to say

important?

Bull was just hit by a bolt of lightning.

You're right, I should have waited.

Art, what do you mean Bull was hit by lightning?

I mean Bull, lightning, fried bailiff.

Where is he now, Art? He's in your office with the doc.

Bull!

Mind if I smoke?

That depends.

What did he look like before?

Just like that.

Well, then he's fine.

Spooky, but fine.

Fine? Art said his heart stopped beating.

Yes, for a few minutes he was clinically deceased.

But I'm feeling much better now.

Really, you look dead on your feet.

If we can't laugh at the walking dead, who can we laugh at?

It's a miracle he wasn't even hurt.

With the voltage he absorbed, it must have been like French kissing a light

socket.

No, that feels different.

Mr. Shannon, you're fine.

Where do you think you're going?

I've got a lance of oil.

Want to help?

Didn't you do something?

Like what?

I don't know. What do you usually do when something like this happens to a

patient? Bury him.

Well, I'm ready to go back to work.

Bull, maybe you ought to take it easy for a while, huh? It's probably not a

idea to be back up on your feet so soon after dying.

But I'm really fine. I just want to get back to work.

Oh, come on, Harry. Give a freak a chance.

Well, okay. Okay, if you think you got the energy.

Yeah, I guess the old spark's still there.

Well, I'm sure you consider delivering hookers to shut -ins a public service,

but I'm afraid I'm going to have to shut down your little squeals on wheels.

That'll be a $75 fine, and don't forget to buckle up.

Matt, did you get that sentence?

No. But I did register his China pattern at Bloomingdale's.

Mac, Mac, Mac, are we going to get this thing going before the end of session?

Well, I can try one more thing. Let me see.

Mm -hmm.

That did it.

Great. What do you got?

A DC -10 over LaGuardia, sir.

Are those things fun or what?

Sir, I'm not sure that Bull's totally all right. Why do you say that?

I don't know. He's just sort of standing there humming.

Hampton with the secretarial pool?

Oh, yeah? I've taken a few dips in there myself.

I'm collecting for Maggie Collins.

Oh, didn't you hear she had a baby?

Is it mine?

Fine, fine, fine, fine. Here.

Happy?

Quarter.

Great. She can wash a whole diaper.

Excuse me.

Would it be all right if I contributed, too?

Yes. $50?

Well, that's very generous, but why?

You don't even know her.

I was a little baby once myself.

Your mother must be very proud of you.

Assuming she survived.

That was so sweet.

Wasn't that nice?

Yeah, well, I guess Bull's just grateful to be alive, and he wants to help other

people that are needy and bald.

So what do you say we try this the old -fashioned way, huh?

Yes, sir. Next case? You're going to give me your car?

Yes, ma 'am. Here's the registration.

Bless you.

Uh, Bull?

Did you actually just give your car to the lady of stain over there?

Bull, charity is a wonderful thing, but don't you think giving your car away is

a little...

so to speak.

That's just the beginning, Your Honor.

The beginning?

I have to give away everything I own.

Well, what do you mean you have to?

Because God told me to.

Gee, and I was impressed when I met Trini Lopez.

Okay, Bull, now we've all had a chance to calm down, so let's just discuss the

situation rationally.

You talk to God?

I met him when I was dead.

We're not on a first -name basis or anything.

Come on, Bull, how did you know it was him? Did he have a little tag on his

that said, Hi, I'm the Supreme Being?

I knew you wouldn't believe me.

No, no, Bull, it's not that we don't believe you, it's just that the whole

is a little difficult to understand.

But why don't you try to tell us?

Well, it's kind of hard to describe.

First, there was this really bright light.

You know, like when you stare into a spotlight for six hours?

Oh, yeah, yeah, sure, yeah.

Well, there I was in heaven.

I was just about to get up and go look for Skippy, my dead puppy, when I heard

God.

That's when he told me that my work wasn't finished yet, and I should go

and give everything I have to the poor.

Bull, are you sure he said you should give everything away?

Yeah, Bull, exactly what did the big guy say to you?

God said, Bull, your work's not finished yet.

Give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasures in heaven.

That does sound like him.

Maybe there is something to this after all. Yeah, you know, he does have an

awfully strange look on his face. It's almost as if he's been imbued.

You mean barbecued.

Dan, don't you have any faith?

Don't you believe that there are some things in this world so incredible that

they have to be the result of a higher power?

Finally got that computer problem cleared up. No.

Yeah. Really? Uh -huh. What'd you do? I just took all that air traffic control

stuff and just wiped it right off the screen.

You should see the looks on their faces.

Well, how are you going to live without money?

God will provide.

Yeah, I'm sure he will, but in the meantime, I think you're making a hasty

decision.

I respect your judgment, Harry, but I've got a ruling from a higher court.

He talked to Wapner?

Hey, Ross, how's Bull doing today?

Oh, he's fine. Had kind of a rough night, though. Oh, really?

Never wear polyester underwear if you're going to be hit by lightning.

Hey, what are all these people doing in line for the cafeteria?

Must be the monthly changing of the meatloaf.

Oh, my God.

200. There you go. And I hope the pawn shop didn't sell your monkey. Number 42.

Hey, Bull.

How's it going?

Fast, Your Honor.

There's a lot of needy people out there.

Get out of line, Dan.

Disgusting display of greed I've ever seen in my life.

What gave me away, the hat?

Before he goes broke, maybe we can get an injunction or something.

An injunction against God?

It's no crime to give away money.

Max! What?

Where are you going?

Oh, I'm going to go fix that computer.

Wait a minute, Mac. We don't want to do anything hasty. Oh, yes, we do, sir.

Uh -uh.

Mac, listen, you give me Mr.

Axe, and I promise we will fix our friend the computer.

Come on, Mac, give it one more chance. Come on.

Come on, come on. Okay, okay, one more chance.

But then it's goodbye, Mr.

Microchips.

What's with Bull?

Gets hit by a bolt of lightning, and all of a sudden comes Mr.

Popularity?

No, this is pretty serious, Art. He's giving away everything he owns.

Boy. Anything to get out of helping me lay cable.

And after he promised I'd do all my work here on Earth.

He promised what?

Yesterday on the roof as he was coming to, he says, I shall do all thy work

on Earth.

I guess that doesn't apply to snake and cable.

Art, what exactly happened yesterday?

Well, you see, at first I didn't know he was hit.

Bull's feeding me cable, right?

All of a sudden it stops.

I give him a call on a walkie -talkie, no answer.

I thought it was just a line that was dead.

So I look to the roof, and there's Bull, sprawled out, steaming like a cow pie

in a snow bank.

And that's when he tells me he's going to do all my work.

Art, can you remember exactly what you said to Bull while he was dead?

Well, I said I needed 11 more feet of cable.

You see, the code for the building specifies... Art!

I said, Bull, your work is not finished yet. What else did you say,

Art?

Give me some more.

I'll shout when it measures 11.

Give me some more.

Give to the poor.

I'll shout when it measures 11.

And thou shalt have treasures in heaven.

By Jove, I think you've got it.

Fool didn't hear God, he heard art.

And he's been giving away thousands of dollars.

On the word of a man who cleans his ears with a drill bit.

See, that reminds me.

We've got to go tell him. Fool, the money isn't... Oh, God.

You gave it all away?

All except $100 for groceries.

But it's okay.

The joy of giving has made me rich beyond the need for money.

That's sick.

Bull,

do you remember how you told us that yesterday God talked to you?

Well, I don't know how to tell you this, but the voice you heard was art.

You mean art is God?

Our father who is art in heaven.

Paul, what you heard was art talking to you through the walkie -talkie.

He was asking you to give him more cable.

You just heard him wrong.

You misunderstood.

Starting to sink through the first four or five layers.

We have comprehension.

I wondered why God smelled like tidy bowl.

Oh, Bull, I'm so sorry.

How much did you give away?

My entire life savings.

$27 ,516 .37.

Excuse me a moment.

Oh, he'll be okay.

Excuse

me?

I'm looking for the guy who's giving away all his money.

He's not here.

Besides, the money's all gone.

Oh, that's too bad.

I was kind of counting on him.

What do you need money for?

Oh, my son's coming home from the service.

I'd like to get home to see him, but it's in South Carolina.

I don't have bus fare.

You're the guy.

Gee, I don't know what to say.

God bless you.

I won't hold my breath.

Tough habit to break, huh?

Giving, that is.

Eh, what the heck, a hundred bucks, I figured I'd make it a clean sweep.

Listen, Bull, I know that the last 24 hours have been a little, uh, well,

for you.

You heard about my polyester underwear.

And what with this money thing, I imagine you're feeling really stupid,

Thanks. I feel much better now.

Sorry.

Last night, I thought a miracle happened.

What a chump.

A miracle did happen.

All right.

Poof. The vanishing bank account.

I'll tell you what the miracle was.

Bull Shannon is alive.

There's a lot of people around here who are very happy for that miracle.

Thank you, Harry.

How do you feel?

Medium rare.

Anything I can do for you?

I think I just want to be alone.

That, my friend, is something you will never be.

Hi.

Um, I don't want to complain or anything.

But I just don't get it.

I mean, I've had tough times before and I always accepted it cheerfully.

Even when I got my head stuck in that ice machine.

But this one's a little hard to take.

I mean, it's not the money.

Okay, it's the money.

Don't get me wrong.

I am glad to be alive.

But I worked hard all my life to save.

Now it's all gone.

And for what?

Well, I guess I did help those people.

And nothing I ever did felt so good.

I guess...

Helping other people is the way we get close to you.

I've been talking to you all my life.

It made me feel so good to think that just once you talk back.

I guess I should know by now you don't work that way.

But sometimes I wish you could give me a little time.

Just so I know you're listening.

Mr. Bull Shannon?

What? Bob Miller, with the city controller's office.

Would you sign this, please?

What is it?

It's a release form stating that the city is not at fault for the electrical

incident you had on city property. It stipulates that you agree not to sue the

city in exchange for a settlement of...

$25 ,000.

$25 ,000?

Okay, $27 ,500, but that's our final offer.

But this means that you'll be waiving any future claim against the city. By

signing this, you acknowledge that your accident was an act of God.

Where do I sign?

Right here.

Well, I guess that's legal.

Uh, here you go.

Thank you.

You're

welcome.

And sorry about the underwear.