Original subtitles

Hi, Uncle Martin, I'm home.

Uncle Martin, I'm home.

Uncle Martin, I'm home.

I'm home!

Tim, please, please, you startled me. You're kidding, of course. Listen, it's

good thing Martians don't have hiccups.

They don't get frightened.

I just didn't expect you so soon.

Well, you always expect me. Nobody can come a delighting distance to this place

without your knowing it. It's that sixth sense, that...

That Martian radar you've got.

That's just it. I am temporarily bereft of my Televisio audio system, which is a

highly advanced extension of what you Earthlings erroneously refer to as a

sense, and which you have yet to really develop.

Now, my Miller Microsonic Sensory Regenerator has extracted it, and right

in the process of purifying it.

Cleaning out the mental lint, so to speak.

Cycle's finished.

I'll readjust the controls.

Focus the lens.

And restore my sixth sense.

A few seconds to warm up, and the millimicrosonic beam will carry back my

sense along its wavelength.

You'd better see who that is. Well, you'll know yourself in just a second.

I brought you some brownies.

No, no, no, don't, don't.

Oh, Tim, I hope you won't feel slighted, but I'm entering my brownies recipe in

your rival paper's cooking contest.

Oh, well, that's the Los Angeles Chronicle for you. All the news is fit

Answer the phone, Tim.

That was Mr. Benson.

I have to do an interview with Mitzi Marlowe. You know, she's the lady that's

always a bride, never a bridesmaid.

What's the matter, Uncle Martin? You previewing a bad dream?

It's just as I feared, Tim.

When Laura Lee walked across the middle of Microsonic Bean, she absorbed my

sixth sense.

Oh. Then that's how she knew the phone was going to ring.

We're in for trouble.

Unless I can focus the regenerator on her and extract my sixth sense.

It's too bad you're not going to let her keep it.

Sometimes I think Mrs. Brown could use all the senses she could get. You're

taking this rather lightly.

I can only conclude that you don't realize what a vulnerable position I'm

Well, no, I didn't realize it.

You see, we Earth people get along pretty well without built -in radar.

Now, that's somewhat open to debate.

But the fact remains that I am an alien in basically hostile territory.

I'm just like a plane coming in for an instrument landing in a dense fog.

Minus one of its instruments.

Well, come on, then. Let's take the thing down to Mrs.

Brown's before you come in for a crash landing.

Coming hard, Tim.

I noticed she didn't have to ask who it is.

You noticed that, didn't you? Well, the longer she retains my sixth sense, the

sharper it will become.

Lauren, are you going to let us in?

I'd love to, but I'm afraid I can't.

Loralee, this isn't like you.

I know.

I wish I could explain, but it's just a feeling I have.

I suppose it's my woman's intuition.

Well, what would a woman's intuition have against us?

Well, it's not you so much, Tim, as Martin.

There's something not right.

He has dishonest designs on me.

Oh, no offense, Martin. It's just this feeling that I have.

Well, I know it well.

I'm really more than sorry about it than I can say, but... Goodbye.

Looks like you met your Waterloo.

You forget, Tim. Wellington met his Waterloo, too. And he won.

Talk to her some more. I'm going to try a flanking maneuver.

Yes, Tim?

Um, what's your recipe for brownies?

Watch out through yonder window.

Brennan.

Must you pussyfoot around like that?

Never mind me, O 'Hara.

There's a special section of the criminal code that deals with people who

in other people's windows.

I was really admiring the view.

Are you hiding something behind your back?

Yes.

It's my latest invention.

What an absurdity.

Oh, Harry, you must keep the boys at the patent office in hysterics.

Since you seem so fond of quoting Shakespeare, there are more things in

and earth, Brennan, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.

Now, be careful.

The mechanism is extremely sensitive.

Oh, too bad you didn't make a smoke -making machine.

It could be a success.

Oh, did I put a hole in her?

It is not so deep as a well, nor so wide as a church door, but... Tis enough.

Fill, sir.

Alas.

All right.

You chop up a large handful of nuts.

Go on.

If you don't have a large hand, use two small ones.

Oh, hello, Bill.

Well, since you're on your way to the courthouse, you can drop me off at the

Chronicle. Drive me, Loralee.

How did you know I was going to the courthouse? I don't know. I guess you

have told me.

Well, anyway, I'll just be a minute. Come on in.

Sorry, Martin, but with this strange feeling I have about you, I'm off

Excuse me.

Would you mind stepping back?

Have you reached a verdict on the regenerator, Uncle Martin?

Well, it appears that Brennan burned out the short -range focusing system.

Oh.

That's a pretty unfavorable verdict.

Can you fix it?

I don't know. The many micro parts I need aren't available on Earth.

The best I can do is refit some parts from the spaceship's galactic

But I think I can effect the changeover. Oh.

Well, I have to run down to the office and drop off this Missy Marlowe story,

but I'll be right back, so if you need a strong right arm or a sort of shaky

left one.

Thank you.

I can manage.

Only it'll take a few days. And in the meantime, Mrs. Brown will be walking

around with my sixth sense, getting more and more finely attuned to it, until

inevitably the realization strikes her that I am a Martian.

But all we can do is hope for the best.

Oh, Martin!

You know, I had the funniest feeling you were up to something.

Well, I was merely putting around the garage.

Then why are you stuttering about your puttering?

You know, I can't imagine why I have this feeling about you, but it keeps

getting stronger and stronger every time I see you.

Oh, dear, you better be careful with your galactic stabilizer.

Whatever that is.

Uncle Martin.

Look at that.

Oh, I see your interview made the front page.

Congratulations.

Now look at that.

I don't understand.

I've been scooped.

What? Scooped.

S -C -ooped. Oh, boy, you should have heard Mr.

Benson. Now, Hera, our reporters are supposed to be firstest with the

not the lastest with the leastest.

I should have said to him, I should have said, Mr. Benson, I don't walk around

with a lie detector in my pocket.

I should have said Mr. Benson!

All right, so I've been scooped. Well, it's an occupational hazard.

Tim, answer the phone.

Uncle Martin, you got your six cents back.

It's been ringing.

Hello?

Oh, yes, Mr. Benson.

Right, Mr. Benson.

But, Mr. Benson...

Well, I understand, Mr. Benson, but lightning never strikes twice in the

place.

Yes, Mr. Benson.

That was Mr. Benson.

I just told him that lightning never strikes twice in the same place.

That is a scientific fallacy.

Oh, well, it better become a journalistic fact, because he just

story. You know, the one about the bank president that ran off with all the

depositors' money?

Well, the guy just turned himself in. It's my one chance to redeem myself with

Mr. Benson.

Wait, I'll go with you. No, no, you stay here and work in your regenerator.

I can't work now anyway, Tim. With Laura Lee getting so close to the truth, it's

unnerving. I'm all thumbs.

Tim, that's just an expression.

Well, you never know with a Martian.

Well, well, if it isn't the O 'Hara's.

And to what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?

Vernon.

Your charming hospitality positively overwhelms us.

Yes. Now, what are the chances of seeing the bank president that you've got on

ice? Well, because it's you and because of our mutual affection and regard... No

chance, huh? That banker isn't seeing any of the press. Except, of course, the

reporter from the Chronicle. What Chronicle reporter?

Why, the one who talked him out of skipping off to Brazil.

But there's the reporter now, thawing in the details to the paper.

I can't believe it.

Mrs. Brown of the Chronicle.

You mean you're the reporter that's been scooping me?

I'm sorry, Tim, but my editor says all's fair in love and news.

Well, that doesn't make any sense to me.

I mean, I had to go to journalism school, and then I had to work as a

man. All you ever wrote was a bunch of recipes for brownies.

You found those recipes more appealing than your stale copy, O 'Hara?

It makes sense.

Laura Lee being a reporter.

It makes a lot of sense.

Sense?

Oh, no.

I don't know how it happens, but ever since the day Bill took me down to the

Chronicle office, news stories keep popping into my mind.

And now I'm a Cube reporter.

That's Cub.

Oh, I must get used to the way we fourth -estaters talk.

By the way, Martin.

I have a feeling you're going to make headlines soon.

It's right on the tip of my mind.

Uh -oh.

Something's coming into focus.

Yes. Yes, there's a big warehouse fire.

Oh, I'd better get over there.

Where is it?

Does Winchell tell Sullivan?

Well,

as we say, toodle -oop, I'm off to a scoop.

I can hardly wait until Loralee produces that information on you, O 'Hara. But

for now, you'll have to excuse me.

Duty calls.

Do the taxpayers a favor. Don't answer.

Uncle Martin, as long as Mrs. Brown has that six cents, there's going to be no

stopping her as a reporter. She has to be stopped, Tim. Because right now she's

sitting on top of the hottest news story of the century.

Me.

I'm sorry about you losing your job, Tim.

Well, sorry isn't the word.

Try hungry.

It was bound to happen with Mrs. Brown one sense up on me.

Well, as soon as the regenerator is fixed, I'll be able to help you. Oh,

don't worry about my job. Just fix the regenerator.

Open it, Tim.

If it's Laura Lee, she knows we're here.

And we can't afford to arouse further suspicion.

Oh, well, look who it is. It's Mrs. Brown and, uh...

What's his name?

Oh, come on, Tim. You couldn't forget Bill Brennan.

I know.

I've tried.

I'm glad to see that unemployment hasn't affected your widow, Hara. It's as dull

as ever.

Well, look, we're very busy right now, so... Take a good look at him, Loralee.

What comes into your mind?

Is something wrong?

We'll soon know. For the past few days, Loralee has been remarking that she

feels there's something strange about you. Exactly the same feeling I've

had. But with this sort of sixth sense for uncovering news stories she's shown

lately, I'm sure she can pinpoint what it is.

Martin, it has something to do with space.

Well, that takes care of his head.

What about the rest of them?

Well, that's all I can think of at the moment.

Keep trying, my dear.

If anyone can unmask Leo Harris, it's you.

You can't scare us, Brendan. We don't have a skeleton in our closet.

The garage!

She's been after us to clean it out.

Oh, dear.

I wish I knew what I mean when I say things I don't mean to say.

Brennan never says die.

I shall return.

Stand back, Tim. You're about to see a man of parts become a man of many parts.

That is the most beautiful regenerated regenerator I have ever seen.

It is, but I don't want to be a wet blanket, Tim. You said because you don't

want to dampen my enthusiasm.

All right, what's the matter? Well, in the speed -up process, I had to omit

certain refinements in the circuitry.

So in order to compensate, I'm going to have to put in one more part.

Well, don't just stand there.

Start putting.

Relax, Tim. The part is easily obtainable at the local hardware store.

Yes, I would venture to say that I am safe now.

Hello, Bill.

Guess what?

I know about Martin now.

It just popped into my head what he really is.

I know what he is, too. It's who he is I'm interested in.

Well, I was dusting his picture and all of a sudden it came to me.

He's a... Wait a minute.

I'm getting another flash.

Oh, it's a really big news story.

Never mind the story. You were telling me about Martin.

I've got to go out to the old stoner house.

Bill, where is the old stoner house?

Woodland Hills.

But what about Martin? You were telling me about Martin.

The scoop will get away from me. I'll tell you later.

But, Loralee... If you're through with your personal affairs, Lieutenant,

there's a little matter of police business I'd like you to take care of.

sorry, Captain.

A lion escaped from the animal farm about an hour ago.

I want you to take some men out there and surround the area.

Check.

That lion couldn't be anywhere around the animal farm.

It's near the old stoner house.

That's ten miles away. In the name of Pinkerton, how could he be there?

Because that's where Brown of the Chronicle went.

And she hasn't missed yet. I'll bet my next promotion on this.

You're wrong, Brennan. I just may collect that bet.

I'm going to the hardware store for that part.

Coming, Tim?

Sure.

It isn't as if I had to go to work or anything.

Hey!

Hey, there goes Mrs. Brown.

Good. By the time she comes back, the regenerator will be ready for her. No,

you go ahead without me. I want to chase the story. What story is that? The one

Mrs. Brown is after. Look, if I can call it in before she does, maybe Mr. Benson

will give my job back.

Well, that's being rather surreptitious, isn't it?

It's better than being sneaky.

Hello?

Now, what'd I say that for? I know nobody's home.

You here?

I'm telecommunicating from the house.

Just where are you?

Well, at the old stoner place up in Woodland Hills.

But I can't imagine what kind of a story Mrs. Brown could have sniffed out here.

Unless it was an article on dust.

Watch your step, Tim.

As soon as I have the new pod in the regenerator, I'll get back to you.

Isn't there? Yes, and I'm picking up background color. A newspaper woman

gets her story.

Aren't you thinking of a Mountie?

No, a newspaper woman doesn't always get her Mountie.

And I'm not leaving without my story.

All right.

I'll stay close and protect you.

Oh, back so soon? Don't panic, but there's a lion in the house.

Well, I told you. I said never let strangers in the front door.

Not in my house.

There's a lion in the stoner house.

You've got to do something about the static with your telecommunication,

it sounded like you said... There's a lion in the house!

That must be Laura Lee's story.

All right, Uncle Martin.

I'm not going to panic.

Now, you just go ahead and fix your regenerator. I'll think of something.

I just thought of it.

Everybody out! Everybody out! We're surrounded by a lion. If I couldn't

Tiff, then you'd get the scoop. I wouldn't. Honestly, I wouldn't. Now,

can't stay here in the same house with a lion. Why not? You live in the same

house with a... Get upstairs, Loralee. You'll be safe there.

I'm not missing any of the details the public is starving for.

What did you have to remind them for?

Hold him off. You go for help around that way.

My car's outside. I'll radio.

Yeah, well, don't forget to leave your gun, huh?

Brennan?

Brennan?

Come on, down with it.

I could. Well, you better get back home as fast as you can. I'll be responsible

for getting all of you into this situation.

Now, I'll have to take my chances, too. Well, listen. I would rather be in this

lion's clutches than have you in front of me.

Tim,

how do you spell vicious?

W -I -L -D.

Are you all right, O 'Hara? Yeah, now I know how Daniel felt. Keep up the good

work, O 'Hara. I don't want to shoot unless I have to.

Oh, my goodness, what a story!

You'll both get medals for this, and I'll get the Pulitzer Prize.

I'll take you outside so you can phone it in.

Uncle Martin, stop before Mrs. Brown talks.

The lion and the cat are both members of the Felidae family. It's a simple

matter of rearranging the molecules.

Well, it's too bad Clyde Beatty didn't know about that.

What an act he would have had.

Well,

Captain, there's your lion.

I think you can handle this ferocious beast unarmed, Frank. But the lion.

Where did he go?

There was a lion here as big as a... Lion?

But how could a lion turn into a pussycat?

Bill, it was Martin.

You'll never believe this, Bill, but Martin O 'Hara is a... Who's person?

Just marvelous.

You're right, I wouldn't believe it.

O 'Hara, don't tell me you've been here all along.

All right, I won't tell you.

A little trophy for your collection.

Captain!

Oh, dear, I'm so mixed up and confused. I don't know what I'm seeing or what I'm

saying. Your bill!

Wait for me!

Well, Mrs. Brown is back to normal.

What's so amusing, Tim? I was just thinking about the...

on Brennan's face when he saw the line change back to a pussycat.

Well, if you find that humorous, just wait till you see his expression when

molecules reassemble again.

You don't mean... Oh,

you wouldn't. Would you? Don't worry.

The lieutenant is in no danger.

Unfortunately, we Martians suffer from a distressing affliction.

The ability to resist temptation.