Original subtitles

The least you could do is to ask me to move.

I could? Yes, you could.

Okay, move.

All right.

Big deal.

Isn't that a rather schoolboyish trick?

Well, it's a thing I learned from my mother.

You see, a very heavy forward stroke, and a very light back one, and it makes

proper ring.

I don't enjoy physical humor.

I'm not joking. It's a sweeper fact.

You know very well what I'm referring to. I do?

Well, give me a hint.

Is it bigger than a bread box?

Do you deny that you just hit me?

And shoved me?

Me? You.

Well, look, there must be somebody else in the ring with us because I haven't

laid a glove on you.

Well, that's not entirely an impossibility.

You mean... we have an invisible visitor?

Well? Do I set another place at the table? Aside from three spiders, a fly,

silverfish, and a lawnmoth, you and I are the sole occupants present. Yet I

I felt something.

Well, I know what you're feeling. Old age.

Old age?

At 932?

Well, I'm still just a kid.

No, no, no, no, no. There still has to be a... What was that?

That was my early warning device.

Tim, I'm in trouble.

I'll call a doctor. No, no, Tim. Just get me my Martian memory pills.

The medical memory pill, please.

Now, I'll program the computer with my total physical condition.

This should be the diagnosis.

Well? Tim, it's worse than I thought.

What have you got? A mosquito bite.

You know, my mother always told me that hot chicken soup and hot tea would cure

anything from whooping cough to snake bite. Well, I doubt they'll do that much

for a mosquito bite.

You know, what I can't understand is how a little tiny mosquito could put a

Martian down so completely.

Well, the disquieting part of it is that...

that Martians are not even appetizing to mosquitoes.

The one that bit me must have been quite inexperienced.

Just a crazy mixed -up kid, huh? Yeah.

And then having bitten me, he didn't even bother to... to clean his dining

equipment. You mean, even mosquitoes have to brush after every meal?

Yeah, but this one didn't.

Result? The next person that he chose to sup upon received an infinitesimal

injection of pure me.

So that what I have is a strong case of sim sim sympatheticus.

Stuttering? Sim sim sympatheticus.

Extreme feeling for another.

As long as there is a drop of me in his veins, I will feel everything that my

blood brother feels.

Oh.

Well, then all that stuff that you were feeling was actually happening to

someone else. Ah.

You do understand.

Now, to cure.

Sem, sem, Sempatheticus, I must find this host, get a bit of gamma globulin

him, create an antidote, and neutralize him. Oh.

Well, how do we find him? Get a bloodhound?

No, no. We deduce who he is and where he is by analyzing the way I feel.

Tim, a horrible thought just occurred to me.

Mosquitoes aren't limited to biting human beings.

They live off of any warm -blooded animal.

Now... My blood brother could be anything from an aardvark to a zebra.

thing's for sure.

The way you're eating that sugar, he belongs to that group that has 40 % more

cavities.

Look, boys.

Hello,

Martin.

Hello,

Martin. Hello, Martin.

Uncle Martin?

Uncle Martin?

Uncle Martin?

Uncle Martin?

What are you doing?

It's six o 'clock in the morning. I'm not sure. To facilitate matters, I

to allow my blood brother to take over. To observe the behavior.

All I know is I had to get up this morning and run as fast as I could.

Well, that doesn't sound like an aardvark.

What happened?

That's merely a preventive.

The bandages are to protect my fetlocks.

Fetlock?

Don't tell me that your blood brother is a horse.

Not just a horse, Tim.

A racehorse.

Now,

posing as a horse doctor, it would be a simple matter to find the horse our

mosquito chose for his dinner. Yeah, all we have to do is find the entry he

picked for an entree.

Entry? Entree?

That's very clever, Tim.

So you got me up pretty early this morning.

Oh.

Follow me.

Good morning, sir.

I couldn't help noticing what an excellent view of the track you have

And I was wondering if you happen to notice of which of your colleagues was

working out at six o 'clock this morning.

Yes? Well, now, why don't you whisper it to me?

Aha, indeed.

Well, I'm sure she's a very charming lady, and I hope you'll be very happy.

Well, tell me, was ladies' maid the only one on the track?

Ah, Lush Life and Joe Larte were there.

And Sweet Sister, they were also working on it.

Well, thank you very much, sir. You've been very, very helpful.

You know, Uncle Martin, I know a lot of people talk to horses.

But you're the first one I've ever seen get an answer.

Right from the horse's mouth.

Are you sure your stopwatch isn't broken?

Oh, damn it, Jerry.

That watch hasn't lost a split second in 50 years. Now, I tell you, she worked a

flat mile in 132.

But that's a world record.

Not until she runs it in a race, it ain't. And she's gonna do that in a

handicap. Ooh, there'll be a funny look on a lot of people's faces when she

waltzes away from that hard -hearted Hannah in the big dream $100 ,000

Oh, Grandpa, Bright Green Farms will have a brand new start.

You just betcha.

And one day again, a bright green horse is going to take them roses for winning

that Kentucky Derby. And the Preakness. And the Belmont Stakes.

The Triple Crown.

Sweet sister, it's all riding on you today.

Oh, what a beautiful day this is going to be.

Now, now we're going to saddle you up.

And Arnold's going to walk you around just a little, just to keep you

You just betcha.

Something wrong?

Well, it feels like somebody just put a tight corset on me. A corset? Now, what

kind of a corset? Of course.

It's a saddle.

And these are the reins.

And that's the horse.

Now, of course, she's going to need it. That hard -hearted hand is a real tough

man. Okay, sir.

Wow. Look it, you take the horse, and I'll take the filly with the ponytail.

Yeah, well, the girl is the owner.

How about that? The race hasn't even started. Already I'm a winner.

Wait a minute. First, if you don't mind...

What'd you do?

Well, I merely loosened the saddle so that it floats a fraction of an inch

her. And I've thrown a thin contour force field about her.

Now the bit...

Heels on the flank and the wax on the rump. They can't bother her, and

they can't bother me.

Now, you be a good girl and go along with Arnold, huh? Yeah. Come on, sweet

sister. Come on. All right. Come on.

Well, let's go. Well, what's the matter? Can't you handle her? Grandpa!

Arnold, where are you going?

Grandpa!

Here's... Where are you going, sweet sister? You're supposed to be going the

other way. Well, what in blue blazes you doing up there?

Arnold, just lollygag. I don't know what happened to her.

All of a sudden, she wouldn't pay any attention to me.

Acts like I'm not even up here.

Well, what's wrong with her, Grandpa?

Well, any fool can see what's the matter. She lost all feeling in her

ribs.

And her high den, too.

Well, she can't win the big dream handicap acting this way.

Why, she couldn't even win a hundred dollar claiming race this way. This

is plumb numb.

Why, from her nose to her knuckle bone, she's plumb numb.

What is it, Grandpa?

Now, will you please not be so blamed? Hurry up, Carrie.

I gotta consider me two or three maybes before I make a decision.

I wonder, will you get out of the way so I can have some room to consider?

Now, it could be... Oh, excuse me, please.

Well, that's very interesting.

Would you mind moving your head up and down, please?

Grandpa, did you see that? Well, that don't beat all.

Now... Let me see.

Hmm. All right, now let's take a look at the throat first. All right, now would

you open wide, please?

Open wide. That's it.

Hmm.

Thank you.

Hmm, that's fascinating.

That's the first classic case of force filicus I've seen in 15 years.

Are you a vet?

Doc Martin.

This is my assistant, Tim O 'Hara.

Oh, hi, I'm Carrie Green.

Oh, this here's my grandpa.

Howdy. And over there's our jockey, Arnold O 'Reilly. Yeah, what are you

in that carriage? I mean, I mean... Howdy.

What do you think it'll take to get sweet sister going again, doc? Well,

Now, one tarnation may not care. Excuse me, son. You gonna let a perfect

stranger doctor sweet sister? That's my job.

Well, grandpa, it's my horse.

And the doc here seems to know what's wrong with her.

All right. All right. You do it. You go right ahead.

But don't you come around to me after and expect me to unfix the fixings when

he's done.

Thank you, Grandpa.

Kelly Green.

Kelly Green.

Are you by any chance Kelly Green?

The Kelly Green?

Well, the only one I ever heard of.

Allow me to shake your hand, sir.

The name of Kelly Green is often heard in schools of veterinary the length and

breadth of this nation.

It is? Of course.

Your home remedies are included in every course of animal husbandry.

I'm sure you're more familiar with force fieldicus under the colloquial term

numbsies. Now, there, you see, Carrie? That's just exactly what I was going to

say it was when you busted in here. In that case, sir, I should be proud to

assist you in treating sweet sister. Well, now, I never was a man to deny

another man his pleasure.

Thank you. Thank you. I assume you want to get a hemoglobin count first.

Hmm? Hemoglobin.

Oh, why, of course. Why, that's the very first thing that I always do.

Oh, Arnold, I'll take that, sweet sister. Well, then, of course, I'll take

sample to my office and mix it with my antidote. Well, you go right ahead, Doc.

I'll tell you if you start to do anything wrong.

Will we have to scratch her from the race, Doc Martin?

Ah, not at all, Miss Green. I will practically guarantee that sweet sister

not only run that race, but she'll win it hands down.

Oh, thank you, Doc Martin. Oh, thank you. I just want to...

Excuse me. I just had to hug somebody.

I always feel like doing that when I get excited.

Yes, well, that's perfectly all right. Look, if it ever happens again, here's

home phone number. Here's my office phone number.

This is my answering service.

And here's my cable address.

Big win to William.

Hey, I thought the fix was on for hard -hearted Hannah to win.

Well, I just saw him slip a speed shot to sweet sister.

Yeah, with my own eyes.

Must be some other syndicate, huh?

You want I should blow the whistle on them?

No, no, no.

I've got a better idea.

A dreamy idea.

I'll talk to you.

Sweet dreams, sweet sister.

Uncle Martin, what do you call this?

This is called sleep.

Did you finish the antidote?

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow? What about the race?

No. No, yes.

Oh.

Oh, yes, the race.

Oh, yes.

You're acting like someone who just took a count of ten.

That's it, Tim.

Somebody must have given sweet sister knockout drops.

Are you okay, Uncle Martin?

I'm okay, Jim.

I'll get up in a minute.

You are up. Now, how can a guy sleep standing on his feet?

Oh, it's very easy if you're a horse.

What about sweet sister,

Doc? Oh, Grandpa Cary, don't you worry about a thing.

We will have sweet sister Raring. Gracious, what's the matter with the

Well, you know how he is.

No, you don't know how he is.

Well, you see, when one of his patients gets sick, he sort of identifies. It's

sort of like sympathy pains.

Oh, my goodness.

Yes, yes, he cares enough to feel the very worst.

Right, right, yes.

We'll have sweet sister Raring to go by post time.

Come on, Grace.

Oh, for goodness sake, it's almost post -time right now. Yeah, well, Doc, I'll

get right down to his doctoring right away, won't you, Doc?

Hey, hey.

What's up, Doc?

I have a jig on my brain.

Under present conditions, I can only concentrate on one thing at a time, and

that's staying awake.

Sir?

Oh, I forgot the antidote in the wake -up round.

Oh,

that's a fake.

Well, what are you going to do?

Now look, sweet sister should win this race. And if it wasn't for us, she

I'll remove the protective force field.

And while they're moving her out onto the track, I'll think of something.

That's it, Doc.

That's it.

All right, Arnold.

She's ready to go out onto the track.

Like that, Doc?

By the time she's at the post, she'll be bright -eyed, snorting, and ready to

run. Well, now, Arnold, you heard the doc. Will you get her out of here? We're

going to miss the post parade.

Arnold, you give sweet sister her head at the break, and then you ease her off

little at the quarter, and let her out again at the mile. And if you can find

opening on that rail, you duck in there and go to the whip and the stretch.

Yes, sir. I'll try to wake her up and let her know.

Well, let's get going.

Do you think Sweet Sister's gonna snap out of it?

Dog!

Do you think Sweet Sister's gonna snap out of it?

I don't know, Kim.

Kim, how much money do we have?

Money?

Well, I don't know. Let's see, I have about ten.

Sir, I would be honored if you would wager this on your horse to win.

Carrie, honey, there's a doctor what puts his money where his medicine is.

Yes, money.

Now, listen to me.

That's for having such faith in sweet sister.

Hey,

will you just take a look? See what you blew my money on.

Oh, great.

That horse is using the starting gate as a pillow.

As long as there is a molecule of mine on that animal, I might just be able to

communicate with it.

Focus the energy of my willpower on it.

And get its atoms swirling about fast enough to burn up all the bad effects of

that drug.

Oh. Well, willpower, huh?

Willpower really has power?

Properly focused, it's one of the most potent forces in the universe.

Well, how do you focus it? I have to raise my antenna.

You can't do that here. Not in front of 5 ,000 people.

I can raise them invisibly.

Invisibly?

I've never seen you raise your antenna invisibly before.

Well, if you had, we'd both be in trouble.

I do it only in extreme emergencies.

Doc!

Here's your tickets. They got Sweet Sister 30 to 1 on the odds board.

If you're going to do something, do it now.

I need more energy, more willpower. Maybe I can drain off some of your

Think, Tim, think, quick.

Sweet sister, go, go.

She wishes you'd let your mane grow. Isn't that what she said?

My, uh, my mane, huh?

Why? Well, then you'd really remind her of her father.

Uh, you, uh, you some kind of wise guy?

I could have been called a dumb animal.

Well, one of you's got to be putting me on. I think we got everything, Gary. You

think sweet sister will be needing any more of them treatments?

No, no, no.

Come on, I should... She should feel fine.

Well, thank you, Doc. You sure do know your numbsies.

Come on.

Thank you.

Goodbye. Goodbye.

So, you know, Uncle Martin, we actually wished that horse into first place.

Not us, Tim.

It was Terry and Grandpa who did it.

And they weren't wishing, sweet sister, to win it all.

Well, sure they were.

No, no, no. They knew she would win.

It was their unshakable faith in that horse, Tim.

You mean all that jazz really works?

When you have a friend on the inside.

Like who?

Like me.