Original subtitles

Thanks. Oh,

thank you, Tim. Billy, the real crap.

19 out of 20. Not bad.

Bill, you're a regular Annie Oakley.

By the way, Annie, did you say you were the crack shot of the force or the crack

pot? I've won the marksmanship medal three years in a row. If William Tell

had Brennan's aim, he would have had an apple calling him daddy.

All right, O 'Hara, let's see how good you are.

All right.

At shooting off something besides your big mouth.

Martin deserves a trophy, too.

Some trophy.

A statue with a clock in its stomach. You're just jealous because you have to

wear a wristwatch like everyone else.

I would be pleased if you would accept this.

Oh, thank you, Martin.

Now, whenever I look at it, it'll remind me of you.

Wouldn't a cuckoo clock be more appropriate?

Only if she wants to be reminded of you.

Cut your red -handed.

Raymond, do nothing.

Easy, buster.

What's wrong with you, you crazy person?

Fernand, perhaps you're acting too hastily.

This man doesn't have Laura Lee's purse.

He obviously passed it along to an accomplice in the crowd.

Well, now, maybe he had nothing to do with it, Bill. He looks innocent.

Do you ever see a lawbreaker who looked guilty? They're supposed to look not

guilty. Strategy taken from an expert.

Well, he looks not guilty, all right.

And I suppose you know your business.

My tribal curse be on your hand.

Whatever you hold will slip through your fingers like grains of sand.

What does he mean by that?

He's talking gibberish, my dear.

Oh, my goodness, I didn't mean to do that.

Curse already working.

You don't suppose?

An accidental coincidence, my dear. It could happen to anyone.

I'll call a patrol car and meet you later at the carousel.

Come on.

Oh, maybe I can glue it back together again.

That gypsy isn't a peep, Tim. I read his mind, and I know he didn't take that

purse. Oh, well, coincidence or not, I just wish he hadn't put that curse on

her. Oh, come now, Tim. There are no such things as curses.

Only people who believe in them.

Now, if you're going to pace back and forth, why don't you push the vacuum

cleaner? Your levity is like your house cleaning, Tim.

A lot of rub, but no polish. Okay, okay.

Then I won't ask what's disturbing you.

What is disturbing you? I was that gypsy boy, sitting in a cell all because of

that Brennan.

Oh. If blundering were an Olympic event, he'd get the gold medal.

But Brennan can't prove that he's guilty. Yes, and I can't prove that he's

innocent. How can I tell Brennan that I read the gypsy's mind?

Oh, yeah, you're right. You can't.

They'd throw you in a cell.

A padded one.

Still, I feel obligated to help.

Laura Lee may not have come from a broken home, but at the rate she's

will soon be living in one.

I've heard of Butterfingers before, but this is ridiculous. I'm never going to

get this story done.

I am going to a pedal drum factory where I can get peace and quiet.

Good evening. I do hope I'm disturbing you. What's one more disturbance around

here? Yes.

Oh, Loralee.

I've just come from seeing her. That was thoughtless of you, Brennan.

She already has one curse on her.

Speaking from a metaphysical point of view, I find her case very interesting.

I didn't know you were moonlighting in metaphysics.

I took a postgraduate course at the university under Dr. Franz Habacher.

Naturally, you've heard of Dr. Habacher.

Does he make house calls?

You see, there is reality to Laurel's problem, but it's a reality of mind over

matter. She's being cursed from within, not from without.

She's under her own spell, not the gypsy's. Oh, well, I figured that out as

as I stopped playing voodoo dolls.

Scarf, if you like, but I know what I'm talking about.

I'm following in the footsteps of Hegel, Bergson, Whitehead. Oh, well, that's

the detective in you, Vernon. You're always trailing somebody.

Have you ever considered enrolling your nephew in an obedience school?

What was the name of the one you dropped out of again?

Don't think it ain't been charming, because it ain't.

Uncle Martin, can't you invent some kind of a Martian gizmo to take the curse

off Mrs. Brown?

No, I don't have a gizmo, Tim.

But I do have a plan.

And that is to make myself invisible and hold things tightly in her hand so that

nothing drops through. Oh, that'll give her confidence back.

Exactly. Until Laura Lee stops thinking she's cursed, she will continue to drop

things.

You can say that again.

I think it's time I made my disappearance.

Forget something?

I'm trying to raise my antenna.

But it appears that the lifting mechanism is not working.

Well, why don't you take two aspirins and stay off your head for a couple of

days?

I think I've diagnosed the trouble.

Last night at the carnival, I unwisely indulged in too much caramel popcorn and

cotton candy. As a result, my sensitive Martian system must have over

-assimilated a supply of sugar.

Sort of gummed up the works, huh?

Syruped up the works, to be more precise.

But the consequence is the same.

When the sugar is absorbed, I'll be able to raise my antenna again.

Well, then you sort of sweet -toothed yourself out of giving Mrs. Brown an

invisible helping hand.

You sure know how to hurt a merchant.

Fortunately, I have an alternate plan.

Since Laura Lee was so susceptible to a curse being put on her, she should be

equally susceptible to a curse being removed from her. Oh, you mean have the

gypsy take back the spell?

We'll give it a try in the morning.

Uh, we're your friends.

Raymond has no friends.

The other evening, you put a curse on this lady. This sweet, gentle lady who

never did you any harm.

She yelled her pocketbook gone.

She's so sweet and gentle. Why should she not keep her mouth shut?

Now, how would you react if you lost something?

Gypsies never lose.

Gypsies find.

She would be very grateful if you would remove the curse.

I, Raymond's grandmother, He not steal purse.

He good boy for gypsy.

I'm sure he is.

Your people say that a favor travels a two -way road.

How you know this?

You gypsy?

No, but I will be glad to talk to Lieutenant Brennan on Raymond's behalf.

Oh.

If, uh, if Lieutenant let Raymond go, Raymond take curse off lady.

Under no conditions will I release this man. Vernon, why do you have to be so

unbending? You know you can only hold him 48 hours.

And besides, Bill, he'll remove the curse.

There is no curse.

But a crime has been committed.

And even if it's only on suspicion, I'm going to hold him for 48 hours and not a

second less.

If I let Raymond go now, it'll be an invitation to gypsies everywhere to go

law -breaking spree.

It'll be an injustice to justice.

Wasn't it Benjamin Franklin who said that pity and forbearance...

Should characterize all acts of justice?

Besides, Raymond wasn't caught with the evidence.

Oh, Harrah, with all due respect to you and Benjamin Franklin, you don't know

gypsies as well as I do.

Sooner or later, we'll find Raymond's accomplice.

Probably emptying out a store somewhere.

Raymond not empty out open stores.

Raymond open up empty ones.

Just because one gypsy once may have done something wrong is no reason to

condemn all of them.

Any more than we can say all policemen are stubborn and hard -headed just

because of you.

You talk like gypsies. I still say the law is the law.

Oh, right, Lieutenant.

I put my tribal curse on your hand.

Cool it, Raymond.

Whatever you touch will slip through your fingers like grains of sand.

Oh, Bill, he's done it to you, too.

A meaningless incantation, my dear.

You mean you're not going to drop things?

Give me something, O 'Hara.

I wish I had something contagious.

You see?

It's metaphysical.

you're not Gypsy.

I'm sure.

Then you next best thing to Gypsy.

You human being.

room in his wall -to -wall debris.

If Washington never got a look at that place, they declared another disaster

area. It's no use. I still can't raise my antenna.

Oh, is she in a bad way? You wouldn't believe this lady. If it continues, she

won't be able to eat. She will not be able to dress herself.

She'll be as helpless as a baby. Well, it's taking longer than I expected to

absorb the sugar. Don't you care what's happening to Mrs. Brown? Of course I

care, Tim. That's why I'm going to help her, and Raymond, too. She is a wreck

down there, and you're going to help her? Yes, but first, maybe we'd better

what Brennan is up to.

Since my antenna aren't working, I'll have to hook up my telemontering system

the television set.

And now for the late, late, late eavesdropping show.

Happens every year, Captain. Just look at those statistics.

Petty theft, fraud, shoplifting.

Brennan, you can't just say that gypsies are responsible for all these

occurrences. Most of them are good law -abiding citizens.

I don't want to step in your authority, Captain, but this is a matter within my

jurisdiction. And I happen to believe in preventive medicine.

I know, but a crackdown seems like a rather severe dosage.

Just leave it to me.

Any gypsy found guilty of suspicious activities will be brought in for

questioning.

It won't be my fault if he doesn't come up with the right answers.

Boy, that Brennan.

I wonder what he uses for a heart on Valentine's Day.

Now we can concentrate on Laura Lee.

I still think we'll be on the right track by making her believe the curse

been taken off her. Well, we may be on the right track, but we missed the

Raymond won't do it. And according to the code of the Romanies, no gypsy will

remove another gypsy's curse.

Uncle Martin, how do you know so much about their customs?

When gypsies wander, Tim, they really wander. We even have a few on Mars.

Anyway, there goes your plan.

Not necessarily.

But you said that no gypsy would cooperate.

Meet a gypsy defector.

Uncle Martin, that's great, but you just heard Brennan. He's on a gypsy hunt.

That'll be dangerous for you. Tim, there are times when a man has to stare

danger in the face in order to look himself in the eye.

I'll dance to that.

I do not understand.

You wish to rent store for one afternoon.

Why? If that's a good question.

You tell him why, Uncle Martin. It's a fraternity initiation.

Oh, I see.

Excuse me one moment. I will discuss it with Princess Narita.

What do you think? Come in.

They don't look sneaky enough.

Police, then?

They don't believe the fraternity initiation.

Oh. Come to think of it, you do look a little old for a college boy.

They don't look sneaky enough for that either.

They're not going to rent us the store.

Good.

Then let's get out.

We cannot rent the store. We are sorry.

Perhaps so our trip is not a total loss, the young lady could tell my fortune.

With pleasure.

I see that you are not like ordinary man.

I see that you have made a long, long journey.

I see... I see... I

see the young man passing over $50 bill.

I see us renting him store.

But I thought we weren't going to.

But now in the crystal ball, I see it. Oh?

You see it in crystal ball?

No, no, I really do see it. Of course you see it. You're supposed to see it.

not supposed to see it, but I'm seeing it.

Well, you all right?

No, just... Oh, it's fading.

Random store.

Good. Well, you said $50.

She is yours.

Hey, what are you doing? I thought you said the store was ours.

The store, she is yours. Everything else is extra.

But for a few miserable dollars more, you can rent chairs, table, crystal

And here is the man who is going to

help you.

lady is... Do not have to tell me. This is Mrs. Brown.

There is evil curse on her hand.

Oh, how wonderful. He knows all about me.

Jojo know everything.

Jojo. Any relation to Zsa Zsa? Yeah. We are both Hungarian.

Really? Do you like tapioca goulash?

Jojo, get with it.

Silence! I'm about to break evil spell.

Eek, hike, hocus, pocus, tee, fie, fumble, focus,

shade of night and bane of hen, mingle, mingle yet again.

Mother freaking of my thumb, something wicked this way come.

That's Shakespeare from Macbeth.

That's Brennan from the police.

Quick, disappear.

I can't. They're still sugar -coated.

Bill, what in the world are you doing here?

Ask him. He's the fortune teller. Do you have a license?

What is license?

Haven't I seen you somewhere before?

Have you ever maybe been to Budapest?

Well, no matter.

You're coming along with us.

But, Bill... Well, he was just going to remove my curse.

Make a note of that.

Removing a curse without a license.

Well, you must have something more important to do than throwing the book

some poor, insignificant little fortune teller.

I'm not throwing the book at him. Just a few pages.

You shouldn't have come here, Tim.

Well, it's all right. I'm covering the story with a paper.

Now, would you mind telling me, are we in little trouble or big?

Well, if they book me and make a thorough check, they're bound to

a gypsy named Jojo does not exist.

And that a Martian named Martin does.

Well, we're in big trouble.

Tell a story, O 'Hara.

A vat or chicken paprikash?

Oh, you're going to let them go?

Sure, we're letting them go. Right down the hall where we can book them. Come

on.

Bill,

Bill, please let Jojo finish removing my curse.

Loralee, for the hundredth time, there is no curse.

And besides, this is a police station, not a sideshow.

All right, now.

Well,

what are you waiting for? An engraved place card?

Jojo will execute a rare seagull move of unassisted double play. Are you sure

I don't know you from somewhere?

Curse is removed from charming lady.

And passed on to Lieutenant.

Join the club. It's been tried before.

May your fingers fumble and your big feet be clumsy.

Oh, look, Jojo. Gypsy curses just don't work on me. I'd explain it to you

metaphysically, but you wouldn't understand.

The curse is gone.

It's gone. Look.

Oh, thank you, Jojo. Thank you.

Morally, will you please put that down?

Was it, Lieutenant?

Your clumsy feet?

No, that wasn't your clumsy feet, Lieutenant. That was your

fumbling feet?

from you and I'll have you banned from police.

Of course.

Show job.

That's it.

That's what?

Dr. Harbacher told us at graduate school about these happenings, but I never

thought it would happen to me.

Oh, Cara, do you know what I'm doing?

I'm demonstrating the existence of something beyond... on the natural

things. Oh, and I thought you were falling in love.

I have a curse on me.

Not just a mind -over -matter one like Laurel is, but a real, genuine matter

-over -mind one. Oh, well, maybe I can get Jojo to remove the curse.

No, I won't remove the curse unless he releases my countrymen. Oh, no, no, no,

but I don't want it removed.

I'm going to write me up.

For the metaphysical journal. I'll be their phenomenon of the month.

Jojo have better idea.

Jojo will remove curse unless he lets my people go.

The law is the law.

And metaphysics is metaphysics.

Or is it metaphysics are metaphysics?

We just brought in the man who stole this.

Another gypsy?

No, Brennan. A pitch man for the carnival.

Well, that puts Raymond in the clear.

I guess I have nothing to hold you others on.

You can all go.

Lieutenant, you are good boy for non -gypsy.

Yes, sir.

I'll accept you, Jojo.

You're remaining in my personal custody so I can do further studies.

Uncle Martin.

What about your uncle?

Oh, he's fine. Just fine.

How about nothing as exciting as this ever happened to his uncle?

I'll take that bet.

I don't know why you insisted on coming back here.

What's so occult about a neighborhood store?

Who said anything about occult? The rent is paid out.

Jojo, I'm afraid you still haven't caught the spirit of things.

I want to work with you because I'm convinced there's a mysterious affinity

between us. A contact beyond the scope of the understanding, as we understand

it. You may be right about that, Lieutenant.

Jojo, I believe there are certain people who command a mystic insight into life.

There are even some who are supposed to possess strange powers who can move

things through space or make them disappear entirely.

I have heard of such people.

Until today.

I never dreamed that I might be one of them.

But look how I made that ink bottle spill over.

You may.

You may.

If you and I work together and study together, maybe someday I could even

things fly through space. There's no limit to what I might be able to do.

Of course, it's absolutely essential that you and I stay close together.

So as not to sever the affinity.

Who knows?

Maybe someday I might even be able to make things disappear.

I did it. I did it.

Jojo.

Jojo, come back.

Jojo, you've got to come back. Tell me.

How did I make you disappear?

What did I do right?