All language subtitles for My Favorite Martian s03e13 Tim and Tim Again

So then she introduced me, and I said,
well, that's quite a coincidence, Mrs.

Brown.

I said, you have two nephews, both named
George, and both of them are

psychologists.

I said, I guess you must have more
brains than names in your family.

Anyway, he didn't even crack a smile.

No, he just sort of looked at me like I
said something intelligent.

And then he wrote a note in that little
pad he carries with him all the time.

The notepad is to the psychologist what
the x -ray is to the surgeon. Oh?

Well, they better not try operating on
me.

I'll break his pencil.

Hey, it's a good thing you had your
duplicating machine out, because that

the last of the cornflakes.

Now, how long is young George going to
stay at Laura Lee's house? Oh, I don't

know. You ask him a question and he
answers with a question.

Uncle Martin.

That's a cornflake, not a fortune
cookie.

I was just checking the molecular
structure.

I have to make some permanent spare
parts for my spaceship.

Out of cornflakes?

Of course not.

Normally, the duplicating machine makes
only temporary copies.

They fade after a few hours.

I've adapted it to turn out permanent
duplication. Oh, that's a good idea.

Because it would be rather awkward to
have your snazzle fritz sort of fade out

halfway back to Mars.

Indeed it would.

If there was such a thing as a snazzle
fritz.

Well, anyway, before she left, Mrs.
Brown said that Nutty George was working

a paper or something like that for the
Institute of Advanced Psychological or

Psychiatric Research, something like
that.

I forgot my sunglasses.

I'll get them for you.

I keep forgetting I'm in there, too.

I can't tell you how upset I am about
this, Tim. For your sake. Oh, come on.

Don't worry about it, Uncle Martin. It
could happen to anybody who has a real,

live Martian living in his house. I
don't know how long this little

will take.

Some years ago, the Martian Geological
Earth Survey people pinpointed an

undiscovered deposit of NA2B407.

which showed traces of CUSO4 near
Denver, Colorado.

Do you mean that'll fix things so that
I'll be single again?

Well, whether it will erase a permanent
copy, I can't guarantee.

Well, you mean that there's a chance
that there could always be two of me?

Yes. And quite frankly, I don't know if
the world is ready for two Tim O

'Harris. Oh, well, don't you mean it's
more a question of whether the world

deserves two of us?

By the way, if my mission fails, you'll
have another mouth to feed and another

body to clothe indefinitely.

And I'm already burdening your
generosity just by being here myself.

Oh, you know that's not true?

Sure. You know how we feel about you.

Thank you.

I'm also aware that any time you wanted
to, you could recoup all this added

expense merely by exposing me as a
Martian. We, uh, already made an

that. Remember?

Yes, I know.

I'm merely stating it as a preface to
saying I was extremely fortunate to make

contact here on earth with a man who is
as honorable as he is generous.

Goodbye,

Tim.

Goodbye, Uncle Martin. And good luck.

Goodbye, Uncle Martin. And good luck.

Goodbye, Tim.

So would you do me a favor?

Sure. Would you mind turning around for
a second?

I always wanted to see the back of my
head.

Handsome, virile, debonair.

I'll get it.

Hello?

Sylvia, hon, how are you? You know, that
must be telepathy.

I was just thinking about you.

Hmm? The beach?

Oh, hon, I'd love to, but I can't. I'm
afraid today's a labor day for old Tim O

'Hara.

Hey, hon, just a minute.

I think I got an idea.

I loaned my car to an old buddy.

Now, do you think he'd come by here and
pick me up?

Yeah.

Right.

Well, it looks like you got yourself a
beach boy.

Okay. Bye, hon.

Hi, old buddy.

Got the picture already.

Well, I thought we might just as well
take advantage of the situation. Look,

day you're on, the next day, me.

Share the work.

Double the pleasure. Tim, you're my kind
of people.

And in my book, you're the greatest.

How about that? A one -man mutual
admiration society.

Oh, great suffering sand dams his nutty
George.

Well...

Good morning, Tim.

I hope I'm not interrupting anything.

I thought I heard you talking with
someone.

Talking with someone?

It would have been impossible for me to
be talking with... Well, there's no one

here but us.

Me?

Well, you can see for yourself.

I was wondering if I could borrow your
typewriter. I have some notes to

transcribe and Aunt Laura Lee doesn't
seem to have one.

Neither do I.

How about that? I guess I was thinking
of somebody else's typewriter I don't

have. Well, bye.

Very interesting.

From a psychological point of view, I
would very definitely say he has a

problem.

I guess I was thinking about somebody
else's typewriter. I don't... Huh?

Hey, hurry up. I don't want you to be
late for work, because I have a job to

keep.

All set.

Hey, what are you doing with Uncle
Martin's personality, alter gator?

You want to be careful with that thing.
It can change your personality

completely. Well, I was just lying
around in the bedroom, and with old

George in here, I thought it might be
better to stow it down in the garage.

Good thinking. But then again, why not?

You've got my brain.

Hey, that's what I'm late.

Okay.

I'm on my way.

Well, there's something even the man who
has everything doesn't have.

Now, let's see.

I don't know if I'm going to work this
thing.

Hi, George. What are you doing here?

Oh, Tim.

Well, your typewriter ribbon broke, and
I thought I'm... What are you doing

here? I saw you drive off to work a few
minutes ago. You saw me drive off to

work a few minutes ago? Of course I
drove off to work a few minutes ago. You

see, I remembered that I forgot
something, and so I stopped at the

my car at the gas station, and then I
ran all the way back.

Which did we take with us, the tuna fish
or the egg salad?

Which did you need for work? The tuna,
the egg salad, or... George.

Sylvia. Sylvia. George. Hi.

Hello. Well, I thought we were going to
the beach. The beach?

I thought you said... We're just going
to go to work.

Well, yes.

I do my best work at the beach.

George, I don't want to rush you or
anything, but I'm sure you understand.

Bye.

Bye.

Hi.

Oh, hello, Mr. Benson.

What do you mean? What did I mean by
what I did?

What did I do?

I came to work.

I took my paycheck.

And I left.

I left. Of course I left, Mr. Benson.

You see, I remembered that I'd forgotten
something at home, and so I came here

to pick it up.

Ten minutes.

Yes, sir.

I'll be back in ten minutes.

thought we were going to the beach.

Uh, the beach, yeah. Well, you see, hon,
I'm going to have to go downtown. I'm

sorry, but... Oh, my car.

I gave it to him. Hon, I'm going to have
to borrow yours. My car? But I'm

just... Oh, sweetheart, please, right
now, just trust me. I need a little

I need a little hope.

And I think later on this afternoon, I'm
going to need a lot of charity.

Oh, Tim.

Not now, George. I haven't got any time.

Say, weren't you just wearing different
clothes?

Different clothes?

Why, I guess I was.

Why change in the car?

You haven't been gone more than half a
minute. Half a minute, huh? Well, I'll

have to do better than that. You see,
I'm starting to be a quick change

Say, is that young lady still upstairs?

Well, I guess so. You just left by
yourself.

Yes, yes. That's very observant of you,
George. I guess that's why you're such a

good psychiatrist.

Bye, George.

Where's Sylvia?

You, Benedict Arnold, home, getting
dressed for this evening? We've got a

date. Oh, we had a wonderful time at the
beach.

Oh, was that so?

Well, would you mind telling me what the
big idea is? Taking my paycheck?

Taking my girl?

Temper, temper.

After all, you can't take things from
yourself.

I'm you, and you're me.

Oh, no, we're not. Not anymore, we
aren't. Oh, well, then you notice a

difference in our personality makeup,
huh?

Oh, you can say that again.

Hey, did you... Did you use Uncle
Martin's personality altercator?

Quite an improvement, isn't it?

Oh, by the way, things are going to be
considerably different around here from

now on.

Different?

We... Oh, no, I mean I have taken it
upon myself to write a story that you

never dare write.

How It Feels to Live with a Real Live
Martian by Timothy J.

O 'Hara.

I think the J sort of adds a little
dignity.

Don't you think so?

Bye.

Oh, brother, what am I going to do?

Uncle Martin, where are you?

On television.

On television.

On television.

How did you get in there?

I'm not in here.

I'm 35 miles outside of Denver,
Colorado.

I'm merely employing a Martian variation
of your closed -circuit television

system. Oh. I thought I'd better check
in. I've been getting some very

disturbing vibrations.

Ha! You think your vibrations are
disturbed?

Take a look at me.

Do you know what that... That...

Reasonable facsimile is done.

He has stolen my paycheck, stolen my
girl, and now he not only intends to

over tomorrow, but he's also written a
story entitled What It Is Like to Live

with a Martian by Timothy J. O 'Hara.

You're joking. No, no, I'm not. He added
a middle initial.

I meant about him writing about me.

Now, what would make him want to do
that?

It's not at all like you.

That's the point.

He is no longer exactly like me, except
physically. He used your personality

altercator. This is serious.

I still haven't found enough NA2B407
yet.

You're going to have to keep him from
turning in that story until I get back.

Oh, don't worry.

He won't get out of here tomorrow if I
have to knock him out.

Which won't be easy.

Don't forget, for every muscle you have,
he has a duplicate.

How do you like that?

Double -crossed by my own muscles.

Who is going to believe you? Now, will
you just tell me that? Who is going to

believe that you have a real live
Martian living in your house?

You go in and try and sell them a story
like that, they'll throw you right out

in your ear. I have actual photographs
of the spaceship right here.

And I have other pictures of various and
sundry Martian inventions.

Anybody can take pictures. All you have
to do is go to a dime store, buy a

little tiny toy spaceship, take a
picture of it. And that's what they're

to say you did.

Well, not when I actually give a
demonstration.

Of Uncle Martin's molecular separator.
The molecular separator? Yes, you see, I

went out and put it in my car.

Of course, if I need final proof,
there's you.

Me? What do you mean, there's me?

Well, I went into some detail in the
article about how our Martian had

you by duplicating me.

Duplic... You're the duplicate.

I am the original.

Try to prove it.

Good morning, Tim.

Hi, George.

What's on your mind?

I was wondering when we could sit down
and have a nice long talk.

You didn't promise, you know.

Did I?

Well, how about right now?

Now? Yeah.

Yeah, we can talk on the way downtown.

Good.

Well, of all the dirty, low -down
tricks, I can't get near him as long as

George with him and he knows it.

Uncle Martin!

Uncle Martin, will you tune me in? Just
tune me in once? I'm vibrating like

crazy!

Uncle Martin, you've got to do
something.

Kindly stop pounding on me.

You're giving me a headache.

Oh, I'm sorry. But listen, he's gone
down to see here magazine.

He's even disloyal to the newspaper.

He's going to tell them that he's me and
that I'm him. And he took George with

him. And he also took your molecular
separator. You're going to use that as

evidence. Now, you've got to do
something. Can't you immobilize him or

something? Not from this distance.

And your Earth transport vehicles are so
slow.

I don't know whether I can get there in
time.

You'll just have to follow him and try
to stall.

Uncle Martin, if anybody sees the two of
us together, it's goodbye, Charlie.

I'm afraid it will also be goodbye,
Uncle Martin.

I thought you were still doing Mr.
Abernathy.

Mr. who?

Mr. Abernathy, the publisher of the
magazine.

Oh, that Mr.

Abernathy. You mean I'm in there with
him now?

I mean, I was in there with him now?

Yeah. I stepped out for a breather,
George.

You realize, young man, that's a pretty
fanciful tale you just told me.

Living all this time with a disguised
Martian.

I can prove it.

And this, you say, is a molecular
separator? Ah, ah, ah, don't touch.

First the money.

Then I'll give you a convincing
demonstration.

Quite frankly, Mr. O 'Hara, my instinct
is to have you thrown out as some sort

of eccentric.

Suit yourself.

I'll just go down the street to your
competitor.

All right, Mr. O 'Hara.

I'll tell you what I'll do.

I'll have a check drawn in your favor.

You understand that I can stop payment
on it and have you arrested for fraud if

this is a hoax.

It's a deal.

I'll have to speak to the dispersing
officer personally about that larger

I'll be back in a few minutes. I'll be
here.

Look, George, I don't have any time now.
I have to figure out what to do about

Mr. Abernathy.

Well, here he comes now. Who is
Abernathy?

Mr. Abernathy?

Why are you here?

I thought you were going to wait in my
office.

Your office? Yes, sir. Well, it was
getting a little stuffy there.

Oh.

Well, I have your check.

Check? Yes, you demanded payment in
advance before you demonstrated that

that you showed me.

I did?

Yes. I guess I did.

$10 ,000?

Oh, wasn't that the amount you asked
for?

Oh, yeah, I suppose it was.

Give a dollar.

Take a dollar.

Oh, well.

What are you doing?

Mr. Abernathy, I have a confession to
make.

I'm afraid that I didn't exactly tell
you the truth.

As a matter of fact, I made up that
whole story.

You see, I thought maybe you might be in
the market for a good science fiction

story.

Science fi... Why, you confounded young
upstart.

You almost had me believing that trash.

Trash? Well, it isn't necessarily trash.
It could happen, you know.

Except, of course, it didn't.

Harold, get out of here.

And never show your face in my office
again.

Your office?

Mr. Abernathy, why don't you take the
afternoon off?

Why don't you go golfing or go hunting,
catch a fish or something?

Ken, I'd like very much for you to meet
Dr. Meyer. Later, George.

Later.

Tim, where did you go?

That was quick.

O 'Hara, I told you not to show your
face in my office again.

Who, me?

Not a minute ago, out in the corridor,
when you tore up my check.

Tore up your check?

Oh. Oh, so he's here, too, is he?

Now, look, this is nothing more than
another Martian trick, Mr. Abernathy.

That wasn't me.

That was my duplicate.

It's all right in here.

I don't want to hear any more about your
Martian tricks.

Take your junk and get out of here. If I
could produce my duplicate, would that

convince you?

How do I know it isn't your twin
brother?

With both of us having exactly the same
fingerprints?

How did you get down here?

Well, where did you last see me, George?

Well, you went around that corner and
just disappeared.

Oh, I did?

Well, I guess you must have ducked into
one of those doors.

I would, yeah.

You've been gone, it's gotten worse, and
what... Uncle Martin!

How did you get here?

Fortunately, I wasn't too far from the
Air Defense Command base at Colorado

Springs.

I boarded one of their Los Angeles
-bound jets.

Invisibly, of course. Oh.

Well, am I glad to see you, because he's
been nothing but trouble ever since you

left. He's down here trying to sell a
story about you.

Me? You're the one.

He's not me.

I'm me. You see what I mean?

Ever since he got a hold of your
personality changer, he has been

become the permanent me.

Oh, come on.

Don't listen to him.

I am the original. I think we'd better
put a stop to this before he gets out of

hand.

Well,

apparently your duplicate was unaware
that when the machine is reversed, it's

reversed all the way.

The back of the scope does the work.

Boy, was that a close one. Not really.

You mean... Do you mean that you knew
all the time that I was me?

In all honesty, I must confess the
thought crossed my mind that possibly

were the fraud.

However, the moment that he reached for
the machine, I knew better.

The real Tim O 'Hara is too tender
-hearted to ever destroy a living thing.

Even his own image.

Yeah.

Yeah, I guess you're right.

Just call me Chicken.

Perhaps I should.

After all, as a very wise man once told
me, the chicken is not infrequently the

true dove of peace.

And I feel certain, Mr. O 'Hara, that
Dr.

Meyerling and I can do wonders for Tim.
But I have been observing him very

carefully. And he exhibits every
classical symptom of the schizoidal dual

personality.

Maybe it's just a passing phase.

No, no, no, no. This is the fallacy.

In these cases, the situation invariably
worsens.

I was just thinking about soup.

psychologist George may be, but he's
right about one thing.

The situation invariably worsens.