Original subtitles

What on earth is that gadget? Or shouldn't I have said on earth? Ah, good

morning, Tim.

This is my hydrobarometric atmospheric aerator.

Thanks.

I'm afraid to ask what else is new.

Oh, by the way, Tim, would you mind terribly not using the shower this

Why, is something wrong with it?

I'm using it as part of my equipment.

You see, my damaged spaceship can't achieve enough velocity to escape

gravity because I am too heavy.

Oh, well, then all you have to do is lose weight.

You do understand.

That's great.

How much do you have to take off?

143 pounds and 2 ounces.

143 pounds?

And 2 ounces.

What are you going to do with what's left?

Stick yourself in the back of a postage stamp and mail yourself home?

Truthfully I'm going to miss you Tim.

You come up with some of the most fantastic ideas.

Now, let me get this straight.

All you have to do is step into the shower, turn it on, and you shrink into

practically nothing.

To approximately four inches, weight less than six ounces.

All that happens in my shower?

It took a few minor adjustments. I set it up last night.

And you didn't tell me?

Do you realize that I could have awakened this morning, marched into that

shower, turned it on, closed the door, and... Tiny Tim.

I didn't think I should awaken you last night for such a little thing. That

little thing could have been me.

Even so, no harm would have been done.

You see, within two minutes, the shrinking action reverses itself in a

cloud of reconstitution to return you to your normal size.

Uh -huh. A complete nervous wreck.

Two minutes, that's all that thing lasts?

Is that enough time for your spaceship to get away from Earth? Not quite.

That's why I'm running a test with this special gas that will keep me small.

I'm going to reduce myself.

And then I'm going to get into this bottle. And I want you to cork it

You're going to get into the bottle?

Cork it?

Oh, Uncle Martin, I don't think... Uncle Martin.

This could be dangerous.

It's perfectly safe.

And if the experiment works, I'll fill my spaceship with the same gas and stay

micro -sized until Mars.

Then by merely opening the spaceship to the outside atmosphere, poof, I'll not

only be normal -sized again, but I'll be home.

All right, now, I'll talk to you as before, but it'll be telepathic.

Ready? Here we go.

All right, then.

Uncle Martin?

Down here, Tim.

Uncle Martin?

Holy smoke.

Really, Tim? You should have opened the bottle, then picked me up.

You picked me up out of order.

Now hurry up or you're suddenly going to have a full -grown me standing on your

head.

All right.

There's something I can do.

Now I'll use a vapor process to get into the bottle.

not picking up any molecules.

I think it works, Tim.

Oh, well, that's just great.

Now what do I do? Take out the cork or serve you chill?

That's a good idea.

What's a good idea?

I think I'll cool my heels in here for a while.

Check for possible unpleasant side effects.

Oh, that's fine.

Well, I can think of one unpleasant side effect. My boss when I'm late for work.

Oh, you go to work, Tim.

I'll spend the whole day in here giving a real test.

like this all day.

Tim, I assure you, if anything should happen, I'll just levitate the cork out

the bottle and the instant the outer atmosphere hits me, poof, I'm full

again.

Well... Now, please, take me into the living room and set me on the table.

I'd like to check the effect of direct sunlight.

Say, listen, isn't it going to get a little dull in there? I mean, in a

all day?

Hmm. Now, that's a side effect I hadn't thought of. For my space flight, I must

remember to reduce some reading matter along with me. Too late for that now.

Well, you could always get some wood.

Now, what on earth would I do with wood in here?

You could build a ship.

Go to work, Jim.

Oh, listen, Mrs. Brown's going to come out and pick up a package here for her

favorite charity.

Okay. See you tonight.

I was thinking at the office today that...

did you get?

Uncle Martin, your voice sounds like you're still, well, it sounds like

still in the bottle.

You're still in the bottle.

Uncle Martin, where are you calling from?

I'm not calling. I'm projecting electrical impulses from my brain to a

wire. Oh, wait.

Overseas relief package?

Well, why don't you just, you know, open up the bottle and go poof.

In reducing my size, I seem also to have reduced my levitating powers.

I'm ready to blow my top. I just can't pop my cord.

Well, where's the warehouse? I'll come right down there. I'm afraid it's too

late for that. They're coming now to get my stack of cartons and load me on a

plane.

A plane?

A plane? What plane?

The Middle East. Where? What part of the Middle East?

Well, I appreciate this very much. Now, you say three weeks ago was Korea.

Two weeks ago was Hong Kong. Last week, Burma.

Fine. Now, where are you mailing your packages this week?

You're kidding.

Well, thank you very much.

Those Yankees, they should live and be well for 10 ,000 days.

Every day, they should send me a package like this one.

Look, wine yet?

Oh, come, my son, it is a day for feasting.

A day for feasting.

Mama, when I think of my sweet, beautiful, beloved Najamar and the

I may never eat again.

What? You'll find another girl.

Only be smart.

Next time, don't pick such a beauty.

The sultan shouldn't see her like with Nadia and take her for his harem.

There won't be a next time, Mama.

I will never love another girl.

If only there was some way to get her back, but... Maybe this will make me

forget this day.

No, no, no, no. Do not open the wine.

Better a little chicken soup.

If only there was some way.

It will take a miracle.

Ah, at last.

It's good to get out of there.

Thank you.

It is a miracle.

A genie.

Mama, there was a genie in the bottle.

A genie?

I know what thou wouldst have, master.

You know about my beloved Nadja and the sultan?

He's a genie.

I could not help overhearing your unhappiness, master.

You are a good man, and you deserve the woman you love.

For releasing me from my glass prison, I shall release your Nadja from her

prison of silk.

Halla be praised!

You really are a genie.

Yes, honorable lady, I am.

That's funny you don't look it.

Excuse me. I'm sorry, Uncle Martin. I haven't got any time.

Uncle Martin, leave me here.

What's with the outfit?

I'm a genie. A what? A genie.

What would you call someone who popped full grown from a bottle in the land of

the Arabian Nights?

A genie. I was on my way to grant a wish when I saw you over here window

shopping. To grant a wish?

Uncle Martin, look, let's just get out of here, huh? I think you're carrying

this genie bit just a little too far.

Ah, I'm afraid the young man who released me is in dire need of a genie.

And it shouldn't take me too long to get in and out of the Sultan's harem, so if

you'll just wait here.

Hold it just one second.

Do you mean you're going to go to a harem where they have all those

Persian girls and leave me here?

That's right. Uncle Martin, I've never known you to be selfish, so let's go.

It's too dangerous, Tim.

My genie, I thought you had disappeared.

No, no, no, no, no. I've just met an old master.

Abu, this is Tim O 'Hara.

You wait here, Tim.

Uncle Martin, an eyewitness report from the inside of a modern harem? Uncle

Martin, this could make my career as a newspaper man.

Tim, I have strong doubts it's the story you're after.

Well, why else would a young, red -blooded American newspaper man want to

the inside of a harem?

All right, fine.

You've got us in the right costumes. You've got him in a trance. Now, why

you entrance me?

Where's the action?

Well, let's hope we don't see any action.

That, I believe, is our Middle Eastern Juliet.

Nadja! Oh, I like the company she keeps.

Quickly now, come on.

Nadja!

Abu!

My Nadja, my poor little Nadja.

Oh, I thought I would never see you again.

Oh, Nadja, this is my genie. A genie? I came bottled.

Really, I despise interrupting a good love scene.

But if you'd like this to have a happy ending, I suggest a rapid change of

setting. Not only he has great power, but he's wise, too.

Come out, come out, wherever you are. What?

Oh, come on, I don't want to be a killjoy.

I mean, after all, how many times does a guy get to visit a harem?

You didn't finish your summons and live to talk about it. Oh, stop it. You sound

like you're afraid of the Sultan.

The Sultan?

I'm afraid of the Sultan.

Go back with the girls.

You two, down behind the bushes.

And don't even breathe. If you're caught here, you may never breathe again. What

about you?

Me? I'm a genie.

He's a genie.

I hope we're not sitting ducks. Come on, let's go. Come on!

Roger!

Roger!

Oh, must be a new statue, huh?

Roger!

Oh, come to me, my pretty little bird.

The eagle comes to the dog.

Sounds more like a buzzard. If you don't keep quiet, there'll be two dead

pigeons.

Here's my genie.

Oh, how ravishing you look in your lovely bridal gown.

Naturally, you cannot wait until you are actually my one and only 65th

bride. Well, you lucky little thing, I shan't deprive you of me any longer.

Come, my love, we will partake of a bit of...

Three nuptial refreshments, and then the ceremonies will begin.

Hey, can you see she doesn't love him? Oh, well, him it doesn't matter. He

himself enough for two.

This is going to be tricky.

To get her away from him without arousing suspicion.

I am not afraid. I will rescue her with my bare hands. Oh, no, come on, don't

lose your head. And that's exactly what he would lose.

No, I'll go inside.

But you two stay here.

Abu, did you hear me?

Yes, my genie.

And Tim, I want you to make sure that he does.

No matter what, Abu is not to go near that wedding ceremony.

Yes, my genie. I mean his genie.

Come on.

Remember, not near the wedding.

Now, this shouldn't take too long.

If I'm lucky.

Just staying here and doing nothing, it would be a terrible ordeal for me.

Yeah, me too.

Come, my little lotus blossom.

Tell me how my eyes are as blue as the Mediterranean.

What is taking so long?

I'm worried. Well, you know the order. All we can do is wait.

Thank you.

Listen, I can see why a guy would want to go into the Sultan business.

Oh, you don't have to do that anymore. I don't want your hand to get tired so

you'll be able to scratch my back.

My little honey cake, you certainly does not like your choice of games.

But I will close my eyes and regain my royal composure.

And then things will be as they should be.

That was nothing to kick you south and where he sits.

You know, originally, I was going to do an expose on the inside of a harem.

Oh, but right now, I can't find anything wrong with it.

Just another second of this.

Excellency, I did not... Enough!

Nadja, she needs me.

Oh, of course she needs you. Now, every girl needs a guy that she can... Hey,

Abu, you stay out of there!

Now, listen, girls.

Just don't go away, huh?

Grab her! Grab her!

It is she who has shown you something, I know.

Out in the street with her, back where she came from.

Thank you, Your Excellency. Exactly what I hoped you'd say.

Exactly what I hoped no one would say.

Your Highness, if I could just have a moment.

So, you dare to trespass in the harem of the sultan, huh?

But we're just poor rug makers, Your Excellency. That's right, we're

salesmen. If we just go from door to door, would you like to see our line?

We'll give you a rug as a gift. Today's sample day.

Silence!

For daring to trespass in the sultan's harem, there is only... Only one

punishment. Death.

Death? Haven't you got something a little less permanent?

No, please, Your Excellency. No.

This is no mere accidental intrusion, huh?

You would steal my bride.

But we love each other. What?

To love the bride of the Sultan, that is reason.

For this, you will not even have the privilege of a last meal.

Off with their heads at once. Hers too.

But do it over there.

Too much beheading spoils my appetite.

All is not lost. I will call my genie. He will come to our rescue.

Oh, yeah, first he has to come, too. Genie, save us. I command you, genie.

Genie? What is this?

He calls to a genie?

I suppose you have found the fabled magic lamp and rubbed it, eh? No.

I pulled the cork out of a bottle.

Yeah, obviously.

And drank, though.

Uncle Martin, it's about time.

Is this another intruder?

I, sir, am Abu's genie.

One word from him and I can turn you into an elephant.

No, no, that's already been done.

Well, that's very easily explained, Your Excellency.

While on my way here today, I bumped into a relative.

Enough of this nonsense.

I don't know what kind of a charlatan you are, but you too will pay with your

head. Imagine he's no charlatan. Show him.

Don't be getting to a squirrel.

Very well.

Oh, I'm allergic to squirrels, but there are other ways of convincing His

Excellency of my magic powers.

For example...

How would His Excellency react to a booze having a flying carpet?

A miserable peasant with his own flying carpet?

It is to laugh.

Yes.

As a rug maker, Your Excellency, he weaves them.

But since we brought none along, I shall use this rug here before you to

demonstrate my powers.

Pardon.

Pardon.

I'm ready to stop this nonsense.

I have been indulgent until now, but I have some dancing girls coming in at

o 'clock.

Too much weight.

Well, there's no baggage to throw over.

Oh, yes, there is.

To tell the truth, it is a flying carpet.

By the beard of the prophet, he was a genie.

Leaving? But my genie, how can we be sure the sultan would not interfere with

our lives?

Because whether I am present at your wedding or not.

He knows who the best man is.

And now I, a poor rogue weaver, must find a way to provide for a wife.

I will not depend on charity.

You needn't.

You will give His Excellency this message.

It orders him to appoint you his royal carpet weaver. And believe me, he'll be

as agreeable as a lamb, which he is afraid I'll turn him into.

But I don't know how to make a carpet that flies.

Oh, he will cut off Abu's head when he sees the carpet does not get off the

ground. Have no fear.

I've informed his highness it takes ten years to weave such a carpet. I have

also made a psychological analysis of the state of the mind of the population.

And the sultan will be dethroned in exactly nine and one half years.

At that time, you will put up a sign.

Formerly rug maker to the sultan.

Oh, thank you, my genie.

You have done so much for us.

We will miss you. Yeah, well, we're going to miss our plane if we don't

up. You travel by airplane? You do not use your magic?

Oh, well, I can't use that for myself.

It's against the rules.

You see, we genies have to use public transportation when we're not on the

I still say...

He doesn't look like a genie.