Original subtitles

If you remember last week... I said hold it!

That's better.

Now, if you remember last week while being pursued by Marshal Brennan, Uncle

Martin and Tim had to rescue Lawley from some very shady characters in the

saloon. A fight ensued and... For the last time, hold it!

Anyway, as they started to make their getaway, they were captured by Marshal

Brennan. Before Uncle Martin could raise a levitating finger, he found himself

being handcuffed.

Along with Tim.

And both were led away to jail.

Leaving Loralee to fend for herself in the wild, wild west.

And to the already existing charge of counterfeiting, I'm adding breaking

Grand theft, assaulting an officer, and inciting to riot.

Be my guest.

Uncle Martin, I'm cognizant that arts and crafts are great therapy for prison

life, but would you mind putting down that pencil and paper and talking to me?

I'm worried.

Shut up, Tim. We're not licked yet.

Oh, well, that's great advice, which might be appreciated by a postage stamp.

Me? I prefer something just a little more substantial.

Here we are in St.

Joe, Missouri.

I'm quite aware of that. In 1849.

All we have to do is get back to California and the time machine.

Don't you think you're oversimplifying the problem?

It's not the same as following the yellow brick road.

First we get arrested by Brendan's great -grandfather for spending two perfectly

legitimate Roosevelt dimes. And then we get away from him, we run into Mrs.

Brown's great -grandmother.

She gets robbed, we get blamed for it. I know, I know.

All we have to do is get our money back to her. Then get her to California.

Otherwise I won't be a Mrs. Brown.

But here we are in jail!

Are you finished?

Yes. Good. Now, if you'll kindly extract yourself from the mire of self -pity

that you've been wallowing in, I'd like to discuss our escape.

Escape?

Why didn't you say so?

Because trying to interrupt you is more impossible than trying to have the last

word with an echo.

Now, you better take this first.

What is it? It's a map showing where the time machine is and how to locate it by

1849 landmarks.

I want you to have it just in case anything happens to me on the way.

With it, at least you can return in time.

Well, Uncle Martin, I... Ah, let's dispense with the sentiment. I'm not

the trail yet.

Now, now, to get out of here.

Do you mean that you could have opened that at any time?

The problem wasn't getting us out.

It's getting Brennan in.

We've got to make sure that we get a good head start.

Oh, you mean you're going to incarcerate him.

Exactly.

All right, Tim, the door's open.

If the marshal tries to stop us, we'll jump him.

He can't get us both at the same time.

All right, Sam.

Can't either of you move.

How'd you get that door open? Simple from in here, sir.

The lock's catch doesn't hold.

It doesn't, does it?

Okay.

Out there, where I can keep an eye on you.

That lock works fine.

Goodbye now. We've got to catch a train.

You, come back! Come back!

Stop or I'll shoot!

I could just scream.

Find him till we're a long way out of town. Yeah, well, the odds are in our

favor. The Sheriff of St. Joe's away for two days, and I doubt if anyone else

has reason to inspect those cells. Yeah.

What do you know, Pete? They done escaped from jail again.

Can't say they ain't got a lot of spirit.

Well, I'm more worried if they still got that money they want from me in the

poker game.

This one's cleaner than a turkey on Thanksgiving Day. This one ain't got a

dimey.

What's this?

That's a map.

California, see?

Los Angeles.

Map? A mine.

That's a map to a coal mine. It's got to be. That X is where you start digging.

We're going to be rich, man.

You want everybody to know?

What about them?

Well, now, we just can't clutter up the streets of St. Joe with criminals lying

around.

It's about time.

I was beginning to think you'd sleep through breakfast, too.

Breakfast?

How? Oh, careful.

Careful there.

You've each got a lump on the back of your head the size of a silver dollar.

What happened to you anyway?

Exactly what we'd like to know, dear lady.

How did we get here?

Oh, well, I sort of stumbled over you on the way back to my wagon.

Some of my neighbors were nice enough to help carry you here.

After all, I did feel I owed you something for getting me the money for

wagon and all.

A gesture we greatly appreciate, I assure you. Well, I think you better

night more while I get some more cold water for your heads.

You know, Uncle Martin, it... It couldn't have been robbery, because we

have a thing on us.

Uncle Martin?

The map.

It's gone.

Are you sure?

I'm positive, yeah.

Whoever took that map is undoubtedly under the illusion it's a map indicating

gold strike. A gold strike?

Oh, brother.

Boy, is he going to be surprised when he digs... When he digs up the CCTVS and

not knowing what it is, they might very easily destroy it. Tim, we've got to

find whoever took that map. That's fine.

Where do we start looking?

In the most logical place. If they're going to California, they must be on

train.

Ah, Miss Gluck, my nephew and I were just wondering if you perhaps could use

couple of extra hands.

Oh, good heavens, no.

One for each arm is plenty, thank you.

Uh, what my uncle meant was perhaps you could use some help on your wagon. After

all, even though you will be with the train, it's still a mighty perilous

journey for a lone woman to make.

Oh, well, I'm sure I'll be quite safe.

And besides, I'm afraid I've spent all of my... Money?

Don't even mention the word. Food and lodging will suffice, ma 'am. Now, now,

you just go inside and relax. We'll take care of everything from here on.

All right, Tim, hitch up the team, check the water barrels, make sure the wheels

and axles have been greased.

Uncle Martin.

Yes? Now that you've helped Laura Lee, would you mind telling me where I can

some extra hands?

you doing? Mass mind reading?

I'm still trying to locate who on this train has our map.

Well, that shouldn't be too hard. All you have to do is find somebody who

think about anything else but claiming a gold mine in California.

That's the trouble. This is 1849 and everybody down there is thinking the

thing.

Did it ever occur to you that the guys that took that map may not be in this

train?

Tim, it is highly unlikely that they would set out cross -country from

all by themselves.

Well, you may be right, but one of those guys is sure keeping himself under

wraps.

Oh, I'm tired. I'm going to turn in. How about you?

Oh, no, no. No, thanks. I think I'll stay up and read a while.

Tim, I wonder if you'd mind doing me a favor and taking this pie to the

Harrisons for me. They're about four or five wagons back.

Well, sure, Miss Gloss.

Cream pie, huh? Well, um, what kind of, uh... That's

sour cream.

Well, of course, silly. It's a sweet and sour cabbage pie.

You're pulling my leg.

Oh, heavens, no.

Maybe your pants are caught in your boot.

I told you it was them, Pete.

You think they know we're on the train?

No, we've kept our side real good.

Besides, they can't prove we took their map.

We still ought to fill them so full of holes that you can't mail them home. Get

rid of them once and for all. Good, and have the whole wagon train down on the

next. Red, don't let your mind go wandering.

It's too small to go out by itself.

Wait a minute.

I've got a real practical way to keep them fellas from bothering us.

Forget about the map or trying to get the gold mine or you'll never see your

lady friend again.

You know, Uncle Martin, it's times like these when things look darkest and

the whole world looks like it's going to cave in.

That men like us have to pull our shoulders back and raise our heads to

heavens and shout.

I want my mother.

Anything?

Tim, I've got my human vibrational scanner open all the way, and nary a

a pong. Oh, fine.

Ah, but cheer up. Remember.

Today's gray clouds are tomorrow's blue skies.

Uncle Martin, if there's one thing I don't need right now, it's a weather

report.

Tim, I pinged.

Good for you.

I pinged again.

And now I ponged. I'm standing here burning to a crisp and you're playing

pong. Tim, you don't understand.

Two pings and a pong. The pong is undoubtedly Laura Lee.

Well, come on. What are we waiting for? Let's go.

Looks like we got here just in time.

They're about to break camp.

Yeah, but how are we going to stop them? They've got guns, we haven't. The odds

are slightly uneven, I admit.

However, they'll just have to suffer the consequences.

Uncle Martin, aren't you a little mixed up? I said that they have the guns. Only

guns. We have far greater weapons to turn against them.

Their own minds.

What are you going to do, mow them down with a headache?

Most of them.

A well -aimed shot of delusionary illusion should send them running.

Theotium is a much greater destructive force than gunpowder.

Now, let's see.

I should have something in my historical motion picture bank to turn against

them. Something that I could project.

Yes, of course.

You sure must have some crazy shooting galleries back home.

My, what in the world made them run off like that?

What in the world, indeed. I'm afraid that'll always be a mystery, Laura Lee.

Uncle Martin.

Uncle Martin, you are a genius. They took off so fast they didn't even take

map.

Say, Uncle Martin, do you have any more movies in that mental motion picture

bank of yours? Yes, yes.

Yeah, well, then you have some westerns with Indians in them, don't you? Yes.

Well, turn it off, will you, please? What are you talking about? It is off.

It is?

Yes.

Well, then, take a look what's on the live stage.

Well, I don't dig the lyric, but I have a funny feeling they're playing our

song. Yes, they are.

Our swan song.

What? You mean you speak their language?

Just enough to get by on.

I'm really much better at Comanche. Well, do something. Tell them we're

Tim, these are Yuma Indians, one of the most treacherous tribes in the West.

They aren't interested in developing their social life.

There's got to be something you can do.

Our only chance is for me to get out there and convince the medicine man to

us go.

Oh, well, just how do you intend to do that?

Hmm, by following the ancient adage I started a long time ago.

If you can't lick them, join them.

Hey,

what about me?

I'm afraid you'll have to stay here for a while, Tim.

I've got to go this alone.

Well, look who's here.

Oh, Harold.

So the Indians got you, too.

Oh, Marshall, you have a remarkable sense of observation.

And they got a woman prisoner, too.

Say, where's your partner?

Who are you, Uncle Martin?

Well, he... Managed to get away and save his own skin.

Figured him to be a coward.

I didn't... Marshal, they say the talk is cheap.

You must get yours wholesale.

What are you doing in that getup?

Playing the great warrior Spirit.

Come down in person to get his sacrifices.

Golden hair.

Hangs nice from Spirit's belt.

Oh, go on with you. I bet you tell that to all the squad.

I'll take all three of them.

But what of other pill face who ran away?

You wait.

We catch.

Forget him.

Well, they're not marching me out to get scalped.

Not without a fight, anyway.

Yeah.

Well,

you did it this time, Brennan. And I almost had us out of here.

This is no time for a question and answer period.

Take Laura Lee and two of those horses and head for Fort Yuma.

Tim and I will try to decoy them here. You stay here, Tim.

That should freeze them temporarily.

How temporarily?

In this heat? They could thaw out in no time at all. Come on.

You think we lost them?

I think so.

Our best chance is to make it to the CCTVS before anyone makes it to us.

but what about Brennan and Loralee? She should be in Yuma by now. And I hope

we've lost Brennan as easily as we did those Indians.

Don't worry, Marshal. We'll see that Miss Glutz reaches her destination

Fine. Now, there's only one more request I have, Colonel. I'd like a detail of

your men to help me bring in my prisoners, if the Indians didn't get

Oh, but, William, they helped us to escape.

Now, Laura Lee, a lawman's job isn't always a pleasant one, but it has to be

done. Marshal, my men are at your disposal.

Are you sure that this is where Mrs. Brown's house is supposed to be? Of

I'm sure. Right over there is Wilshire Boulevard, and that's Sunset Boulevard

that way. That should make this the Hancock Park area.

Of course.

How silly of me.

Uh -oh. Uh -oh, Tim. We're getting company.

Look.

Holy cow! They must have picked up a lot of friends on the way. If you think

that's something, look over there.

Uncle Martin, what are we going to do?

Find that CCTVS and fast.

This won't hold for long.

Here it is. Hurry.

Well, it looks all right.

I just hope the elements haven't corroded any of the plots. Uncle Martin,

is no time to test it.

Here they come again.

All right, cross your fingers, Tim, and ball my eyes.

I'm the warden.

I'm the warden? I'm right here, Tim.

What happened? Did we make it?

If we can clear this smoke away, I think we're home.

Yes, but I'm afraid the CCTVS is a bit worn.

The corrosion of some of its parts from overexposure has caused quite a bit of

short -circuiting. That's too bad.

Can you repair it?

Yes, it'll take some time, but I can do it. Well, the important thing is we're

both back. We're safe and sound.

Boy,

this food looks pretty, uh, ugh.

Like a hot shower, you know? Hey, what say you barbecue a couple of king -sized

steaks? Good, good idea. I'll get them out of the freezer right this minute.

How long do you think it'll take to fix that time machine?

Oh, it'll take a couple of weeks, give or take a day or so.

Well, then I suggest you set another place at the table.

Medium.