Original subtitles

I'm making lunch. Where's the... What are you doing with the soup out here?

Stop, stop, stop!

What?

You were about to step in front of my dimensional separator.

Uh, another one of your kooky Martian inventions?

Just because your earth mind can't cope with something doesn't mean it's kooky.

This machine removes one dimension from any object, leaving it with height and

width, but no thickness.

Oh, come on, you're putting me off. I wouldn't dream of it.

Ah, just what I was looking for. May I?

Yeah.

What is this?

Some kind of a scavenger hunt?

Very apt, Tim.

Archaeology is a scientific scavenger hunt.

You see, I want to take artifacts of your primitive culture back to Mars.

By reducing them to two dimensions, I can carry an infinite number. Do you

to tell me that I am going to be represented by a ballpoint pen?

A paper cup? Well, it's your culture, Tim.

Well, how about a half a hand sandwich? What's that for? That's my lunch.

What happened to the can opener?

What about my lunch?

We must all sacrifice for science, Tim.

The can opener must have the can with it.

You see, the simple tools of a primate species hold the key to its future

development.

Oh, Martin, could you open this jar for me?

Loralee, don't. I can never seem to...

She...

She did.

I had to freeze her in suspended animation, Tim. In Laura Lee's

she moves, she might break.

Well, just give it to me straight, Uncle Martin.

Can you get back her back?

Once I obtain a simple metallic compound, of course, if Laura Lee had to

in that condition for 18 hours, it would become permanent.

Well, what about those things on the table? What did you do, invent instant

travel? Question of elementary chemistry, Tim.

Those things are inorganic.

Laura Lee is organic.

Well, come on.

Let's get with it.

I mean, you can't just have Mrs. Brown a cover girl without the book.

I'm practically on my way.

But while I'm gone, we must make certain that Laura Lee does not get bent.

Good thing I put Laura Lee in suspended animation.

Otherwise, I'm sure this would tickle.

Yeah, well, it looks like an advertisement for Mrs. Brown's homemade

You're right.

We'd better make it look more natural, just in case.

I must say to you, that is pretty good.

It's nothing, Tim.

I've worked with many great artists.

I was with Leonardo when he painted his most famous portrait.

I remember telling several rather droll stories.

Mona just couldn't keep from smiling.

See that nothing happens to Loralee.

Uh, just a minute. Where are you going too loose?

To restore Mrs. Brown, I need a minute amount of copper, which has been

subjected to an extraordinary electrical charge.

It's obvious where I'll find it. Oh, sure.

The tip of the lightning rod on the tallest building in town.

Laura Lee.

Laura Lee, are you in there?

I am terribly sorry, but there is no one staying at this residence at this time.

And this is a recording.

Very funny.

I mean, I know where Laura Lee is. Well, let's just say she's hanging around

right now.

What have we here? What have we where?

That's quite a painting.

Oh, quite. You're quite right.

Is it an oil or a watercolor?

Well, it mustn't touch. You see, my paint's still wet.

Your paint?

You painted that?

Well... But tell me, why did you paint Laura Lee with a jar of pickles in her

hand? Uh, pickles.

Well, you see, there's a very simple answer for that.

Yes?

Um...

Well, the title of the painting is The Picnic.

And she brought along with her some potato salad, hard -boiled eggs, beans.

don't see any potato salad. Or any eggs. Or any beans.

Well, that's because, you see, she brought them in a basket, and the basket

behind her.

That's a very good likeness of Laura Lee.

Likeness, that is Laura Lee.

It is, O 'Hara?

Say, I have a friend who runs an art gallery, Jacques Aumont.

Just for a gag, why don't I take this painting down and let him display it?

Then, after I have lunch with Laura Lee tomorrow, we'll casually drop in at

Jacques' gallery and she'll see herself hanging there among important pictures

and, well, it'll be kind of a nice surprise for her, won't it?

That it will be.

Good.

It's primitive, but...

Yep. Yep.

Detective Brennan, do you know what you're doing?

Much as I hate to come to the aid of your budding career, O 'Hara, Laura Lee

deserves to be shown to the world.

Hey, you used a lot of lead in your paint.

What am I going to say to Uncle Martin?

Tell him I said hello.

Now, I know that if Uncle Martin were here right now, he would say to me, he'd

say, Tim, don't panic.

I know, I can just hear him saying that. I can hear him saying, Tim, don't

panic.

Let's face it, I panic.

Success, Tim.

I got the copper from the tip of the lightning rod.

What happened to you?

Oh, just a slight altercation with a possessive eagle.

But where is she?

Well, you see, she was...

Brennan... She's being framed.

Well,

there's no one around.

Do your stuff, Uncle Martin.

Well, as always, Uncle Martin, you did that very well.

Yes, didn't I?

Mm -hmm.

That's the difference between you and Brennan.

You're so modest.

I have more to be modest about.

Hey, look at that.

Don't go near that, Tim.

Why? Is it contagious?

No, but every picture in this gallery is wired to a burglar alarm.

With you along, we don't have to worry about that.

On the contrary, Tim.

An old -fashioned burglar alarm is a Martian's worst enemy.

Besides the noise you and the police hear, it produces tones of such a high

frequency that they have a catastrophic effect on a Martian's nervous system.

We'll have to be very careful getting Laura Lee down off the wall.

But first, we have to find her.

There she is.

And the boss said to come through the skylight. She didn't mean to break the

ceiling. Oaf, look around. Look around.

Clumsy ox.

Just pick out the best ones.

They're here at the gallery.

Most reprehensible.

I'll take care of this.

I think we'd better get out of here.

Come on.

Come on.

Look,

this is no time to get stiff.

Martin!

Clumsy old... Now we have no time to discriminate. Take them all. Start with

this one.

All right.

I have but one life to give to my landlady.

Look, I'm going to get you away from this bell.

Come on.

Look, Martin, will you please hurry?

Look. If Brennan catches those crooks and finds that still life of Mrs. Brown

before we do, we're going to have the biggest... I'm fully cognizant of the

problems at hand, Tim, but fear not.

I'm sure that my Atwater -Kent super -heptadine directional finder will

her.

Tim.

Tim, I found her. That thing?

Too far.

Axe marks the spot?

That's where they've got Laura Lee.

She ponged. Does that mean anything?

It means her third dimensional molecules are weakening. Come on.

I've often flattered Laura Lee, but I didn't mean to flatten her.

emergency official business.

Bernstein, please.

Hey, Brennan here.

I'm at the O 'Hara home.

You know that plaster dust we found on the floor in that art gallery?

Well, on the nephew's shoes, I found gobs of what looks like the same

Yeah.

Yeah.

Uh, never mind the stakeout, Bernstein.

I've, um...

reasoned my way to a solution as to their whereabouts and the paintings.

I'll have this case wrapped up in no time.

Almost time for the arcade to open.

Will you hurry?

Now look what you've made me do.

Really, Felicia, you're so impatient.

Why I saddle myself with turtles, I will never know.

If you don't like the way I work, why don't you just go out and hire some

Of course, he'll probably ruin the original.

And Arturo won't thank you for that, will he?

All you have to do is cover them up so that they won't be discovered when

smuggles them over to Europe.

You don't have to insult me.

All right.

I'm finished.

Take it away.

Come on.

Just put it over there.

Gently, gently. It's worth a fortune.

Don't be so artistic.

Cover.

Cover. Cover.

You would have told Michelangelo to cover the Sistine Chapel.

Cover. Cover it. Faster.

Look.

There's a painting on that easel.

Freeze them, Uncle Martin. I can't, Tim. They're too close to Laura Lee.

And she couldn't take another dose of this power.

We'll have to get them away from there.

This should do it.

Now what?

Why, idiot, there's somebody here.

Come on.

Come on, we've got to search the place.

Push me.

What?

Stop him.

Especially him.

The paint got in the pores of my finger. I can't get the power through. There's

only one thing to do. What? Run.

Too much red.

chance to surrender, O 'Hara.

Those you seek are behind the eight ball.

Stand up.

Shoot me.

Will you stop that and help me with this thing?

back. You know, I never thought I'd get all that whitewash off.

And just in time, Tim.

A few moments more and Mrs. Brown won't make it.

Yeah. Well, look, I'm gonna take this stuff down and dump it in the storm

We're not gonna have those few moments. Here comes Bulldog Brennan.

Stand back, Tim. I'm going to shoot Mrs. Brown.

Open, because I'd like to have them for lunch.

Oh, we'll open that for you, Mrs. Brown. Oh, thank you, Tim. Of course.

Ah, I've caught up with you, O 'Hara's at last. Oh, hello, Bill.

Why did you want to catch up with Martin and Tim?

It's police business, Laura Lee. I apprehended a ring of art thieves and

recovered all the stolen paintings except Tim's portrait of you.

Me?

I know you two are involved, and I'll tell you why.

Because the location of the loot was marked by an X on that map.

You mean that map, Lieutenant?

Oh, I didn't know you painted, dear.

Well, I don't. I mean,

I did. I painted a picture that he was talking about.

Yes, and I also painted that one.

Oh, well, isn't that nice?

What is it?

Yes, what is that, O 'Hara?

That is the picnic.