All language subtitles for My Favorite Martian s02e37 Time Out for Martin

Hi, I'm back.

I, uh, hope you don't mind scrambled
eggs for lunch. I dropped one of the

cartons as I was getting out of the car.

Jim, the dexterity of your fingers is
surpassed only by that of a seal trying

crochet with his flippers.

Well, thanks for the compliment.

I see that you are the same insufferable
self you've been for the past few days.

What'd you do, blow a fuse in your
gizmo?

Please, do not refer to the CCTBS as a
gizmo. I'm sorry.

What is a CCTBS?

The Cathode Ray Centrifugal Time Breaker
Scope.

You mean that this thing can break the
time barrier?

If I can build up enough centrifugal
force, yes.

You see, Tim, I now know exactly what
went wrong with my spaceship over

before I crashed.

England? You crashed here, remember? I
found you.

Of course.

But at the rate of speed I was
traveling, I started my crash there and

here.

positioning the geographic locator to
place me exactly where I was, and

time back to moments before the
malfunction occurred, I can make the

repairs, avert the crash, and fly home
to Mars.

Which would make you the little man who
was never here.

Exactly. With a few more minor
adjustments, I should be able to leave

Tomorrow?

I was...

So I hope you stick around for a little
while.

Yes, yes. Well, we'll have time for
goodbyes later.

Right now, every moment counts.

Hey, the first thing you better do is
fix this machine.

Yeah, it's not 12, it's 1215.

No, no, no, Tim. Tim, don't touch it.

What happened?

Where are we?

England.

England? When you reset my clock to what
you believed was 1215, you sent us back

to merry old England, and I do mean old.
Take a look in that courtyard.

We are in the year 1215

A .D.

Are in the 13th century?

Yes. You're kidding me.

You're putting me on.

Not at all.

Holy Toledo.

Well, don't just stand there. Do
something. Fix your clock.

Get us back.

An excellent thought.

Only I'm afraid you can't resolve the
breaking of time as easily as you can

broken eggs.

Which, incidentally, you couldn't have
scrambled any better than you did my

CCTVS.

Broken? An understatement compared only
to Columbus saying...

I think I found something.

We'll have to check into the inn and
make major repairs.

No, no, no, no, Tim.

Not the way we're dressed.

If we ever tried to explain the
predicament we're in, we'd undoubtedly

record for witch burning.

Well, you better have the address of a
good medieval tailor.

I mean, let's face it. We left in such a
hurry, I just didn't have time to pack

the right clothes.

In fact, I can remedy more easily than
my CCTVS, I assure you.

Now, come over here, Tim.

Get behind those shrubs, take off your
clothes, and place them in a pile on the

ground. You're a kitty.

Ah, we thank thee.

As a matter of fact, we find the rooms
most sufficienty.

Well, I didn't expect the presidential
suite, but this place is furnished in

early nothing.

Yes, the people of this era, perhaps.

But in the 20th century, Tim, each
article would be an antique dealer's

Hey.

Hey!

I never thought of that.

Uncle Martin, I have a great idea.

While you're fixing that machine, why
don't I load up with some of this junk?

We could take it back with us. We could
become the Frank Fox of the furniture

world, the bring -em -back -unscratched
-darlings -of -the -interior -decorator

set.

You forget we are intruders in this era
of time, Tim.

We must not upset history one iota, even
by removing a piece of its furniture,

no less getting involved in the events
of the past.

Oh, great.

Well, you make it harder for a guy to
earn a dollar than the Bureau of

Revenue. Don't you want to just take
back one souvenir when we get back?

Assuming we're able to get back.

Every one of the circuits of the CCTVS
have been shorted, not to mention burned

wires, condensers, and whatnot.

Well, can't you replace them? I mean,
you are the electronic whiz kid.

And just where would you suggest I get
the replacement parts in 1215 A .D.? Our

only chance is to try to rebuild one of
the circuits from the remnant parts of

the others.

Give me that knife over there, will you?

Well,

I know it's not much, but all I can
offer is my moral support.

Ah, there we are.

Think it'll work?

Well, I'm afraid we're only going to
have one opportunity to find out.

I've got the AQ -12 circuit patched up,
and if the patch holds, we'll depart

exactly at midnight.

And if it doesn't? No, no.

No, never mind.

I don't think I want to know.

What in the name of Neptune are you
yelling about? Well, take a look for

yourself. The big guy's picking on the
little one. If someone doesn't help him,

he's a dead duck.

Pam! Pam, come back!

when you did.

I'd hate to think of where I'd be right
now. From the way his sword was about to

come down on you, I'd say that part of
you would be here and the other part of

you would be over there somewhere.

I couldn't let Gargantua clobber the
little fella.

Hey, where'd he go?

Well, at the speed with which he
departed, I'd say he's somewhere near

now. Unfortunately, if you hadn't
interfered, he would have beaten off his

attacker, completed his mission, and
history would have been spared this

disturbance. His mission?

To deliver this.

to the Archbishop of Canterbury at
Runnymede.

Yikes. It's the Magna Carta.

Mm -hmm.

One of the most important instruments of
constitutional English history.

It guarantees the English people their
rights, freedom of religion, and trial

a jury of their peers.

But why were they fighting over it? If
you recall your history, the English

barons, led by the Archbishop of
Canterbury...

are demanding the signature of King
John, who prefers that the Magna Carta

didn't exist.

Oh, I get it. And Junior Giant over here
works for the King.

I'm afraid it's up to us now to deliver
it to the Archbishop.

Or not only will the history of England
be changed, but that of the whole world.

A very noble and heroic deed, my man,
coming to the aid of that little fellow

who was being bullied. I witnessed it
all from my window.

Thank you, milady. Permit me to
introduce myself.

The Duchess of Brimstone.

Ah, your ladyship.

Martin,

a humble sorcerer. And my apprentice,
Timothy.

Ah, a wizard.

Then perhaps you can conjure up the
cause of such a happening.

Oh, well, you see, King Kong over
here... I mean, the big fella. Well, he

trying to... Throw his weight around, so
to speak, milady.

The parchment, it had nothing to do with
him?

No, my lady, not a thing. It belongs to
me. It contains the formula for certain

powers. Well, your heroism should not go
unrewarded. Please be my guest at

supper tonight.

A great honor, I assure you. However...
Nay, I should not brook with any excuses

at supper then.

King shall have your head for botching
this up. But Duchess, it wasn't my

A stranger?

Agents of the Archbishop, posing as
sorcerer and apprentice.

Both half your size at that.

Fortunately for us, they are still here
and have the parchment with them.

I'll lop off their heads.

First, Basil, we must get the parchment
and destroy it.

Then, do as you will with them.

I have arranged to entertain them at
supper tonight.

While I do, you shall slip into their
room and destroy the Magna Carta.

Suppose they don't stay put at the
supper table.

This pellet in the older one's wine will
take care of him.

I shall take care of the younger one
myself.

And this time, Basil, we dare not fail.

Or the king will have both our heads.

be considered ill -mannered to eat and
run.

But if we are to accomplish our mission
and make the midnight ride back to the

20th century, time is of the essence.

Milady? Gentlemen, sorcerer on my left,
your apprentice on my right.

What an oaf is here. I seem to have
forgotten something in my room.

With your ladyship's leave... Of course,
but first, a toast to the king.

Shortly, milady, I must to my room. You
wouldn't place a humble sorcerer's needs

above a toast to his gracious majesty,
would you?

To his majesty.

Long live the king.

Master, oh, whiz of wizards.

Martin.

Marty. Your master doesn't seem to be
able to hold his wine too well. Yes, my

lady, I think best I take him back to
our quarters.

And miss a delicious supper. And a night
with a full moon.

A fool, you seem not.

Well, I, uh... I can't, my lady.

Forget my title.

Think of me as just an average woman.

Your average.

I've been dating boys all this time.

All

has

been done, my lady. Good.

We'll bring the news to King John
immediately.

Now, go fetch the horses.

Duchess?

Duchess. Your ladyship.

Uncle Martin?

Where'd everybody go?

What are you doing in there?

Better yet, how did you get in there?

The Duchess drugged my wine.

It would have poisoned a human.

However, on me, it altered my metabolic
system and, as you can see, shrank me.

When I came to, I found I had fallen
into the drink, so to speak.

due to the drug and you by the ladies'
wiles, Basil sneaked up to our room and

burned the Magna Carta.

I don't know when.

I think I need an aspirin and a glass of
water.

Understandably so, but would you mind
using another goblet?

This one's occupied right now.

Tim,

I do wish you wouldn't stare at me.

if I were some sort of sideshow freak.

Well, let's face it.

Up to now, you haven't been the easiest
person to explain.

And now, in this, uh, best pocket
Martian edition, you're not going to be

easier. Tim, I have no intention of
remaining an intergalaxial Tom Thumb.

Just as soon as we get to Runnymede, I
shall get the antidote that will return

me to size.

Runnymede? You mean you still intend to
go there?

We haven't much choice.

The Duchess is there with King John,
laughing at us right now.

And the only thing that will bring me
back to size is the exact same drug that

shrank me.

Besides, we still have to deliver the
Magna Carta, remember?

Uncle Martin, you have an ingenious
mechanical mind. But right now, I think

of your screws is loose.

The Magna Carta was burned to a crisp,
remember?

Now, don't tell me you intend to unburn
it? Under normal circumstances, I could

revitalize the carbons and reconstruct
the molecules.

However, in my present state, I don't
have enough power.

Then just what do you intend to deliver
in his place an extremely reasonable

facsimile? Grab a quill Tim and get some
of that parchment out of the drawer

For goodness sake, Pam, stop worrying
about me and find the king's chamber. Or

we'll both have something to worry
about.

Look, why don't we just give it to the
archbishop and let him get it signed?

Simply because once you upset the course
of history, who knows what waves the

splash may have caused.

We'll have to see it through now
ourselves.

Excellent, my dear Duchess.

You have fulfilled your mission well.
Thank you, my Lord King.

Now, all that is left is to do away with
the Archbishop.

The Archbishop?

Oh, nay, nay, nay.

The lives of men mean naught to me,
but... The wrath of the heavens.

But, sire, he is the leader of the
rebellious barons, the champion of

for the people.

He must be rid of if we...

I mean if your majesty is to retain all
the powers so rightly his.

My dear, you're even a greater scoundrel
than I without a single redeeming

virtue.

Thank you, your majesty. I've had an
excellent tutor, your majesty.

After supper, I shall consult with my
sorcerer and ensure that the omens are

with us.

Boy. If that's being born to the purple,
I'd rather have Viraco's veins.

Don't blame the entire royal family,
Tim.

Many a family tree needs trimming.

Quickly now, slip me under the door.

Under the door?

You mean like a telegram?

Almost. John may be a tyrant, but he's a
superstitious man, and I'm about to

deliver him some bad news.

What about me? Just stay out here and
keep out of trouble, hmm?

Easy.

Careful.

A meal fit for a king, your majesty.

Too bad you don't behave like one.

You spoke, your majesty?

Not I.

It's a drumstick.

A drumstick spoke?

Oh, an ill omen, I'm sure of it.

No doubt due to our planning to murder
the... Do away with the archbishop.

Nonsense, your majesty. Your mind is
playing tricks.

The tension in the last few days has
been great.

Some more wine will calm you.

Careful, Your Majesty.

The wine she serves may contain
something to get rid of you, as well as

Archbishop.

No wine!

Why not?

Do not think me a complete and utter
fool.

Your ambitions are not so easily cloaked
as your figure.

Your Majesty, surely you don't think...
Most surely I do think so.

You were not satisfied with the gifts
and the powers that I lavished upon you.

Now you seek to murder me.

Sire, that is not so.

Then why do you still carry the poison
pellets in your purse?

Who said that?

The jumpstick.

What's the difference?

Alice will have to go back. I killed a
sorcerer at the inn. That's impossible.

I'm here.

They're trying to kill a sorcerer. You
have only one way to rid yourself of the

curse, Your Majesty.

Sign the Magna Carta and all will be
right in your reign. But the Magna

been destroyed.

Not when in the hands of a sorcerer.

Tim!

You're back.

Spare the welcome home, Tim.

Time and tide wait for no Martian and
friends.

Pay no attention to him. Don't sign it.

Your Majesty?

I can't let you do it! My power, yours!

It will fall to the people!

Basil! Basil!

Come quickly! Come quickly! How dare
you!

Uh -oh. Here comes that ho -ho -ho
again.

I'll leave it up to you to keep him
occupied, Jim. I've got to make the king

sign.

Opportunity knocks but once. That is an
opportunity knocking. That's my knees.

Ma 'am, where is he?

Where is he?

Oh, Martin.

You asked for it.

I only wish I could give it to you.

Your Majesty.

Your Majesty, I beg you, don't sign it.
Silence. Don't sign it, Your Majesty.

Oh, Your Majesty.

I have signed it.

I have signed the Magna Carta. water.

showed him, huh?

All he really needs now is a little
sticker that says, don't open till

Christmas.

The Archbishop is coming.

Well, Tim, I think half our job is just
about done.

And half of our job is just about well
done. Take a look. Begin.

It's on fire.

Your Grace, here you are with our
compliments.

If we ever get back, I'll never complain
about Los Angeles smog again.

Well, we better find my CCTVS before
midnight, or we're both ancient history.

Tim! Tim! Tim, I found it. There it is.
Quick.

Quick, give me your hand. Give me my
hand? I can't even find it myself.

Quickly, Tim. Quickly.

Hands of the clock are straight up.

Touchdown. Here goes.

But I'm afraid the CCTVS didn't.

It's completely melted away.

Sorry, Uncle Martin. It's all my fault.

I got you in this mess in the first
place. Now you almost busted up history.

And listen, if you hadn't written a new
magnet car, then... Don't berate

yourself, Tim.

Eventually, I'll build another CCTVS.

And besides, I enjoyed the little job I
did.

As a brilliant scholar once said, anyone
can make history.

It takes a great man to rewrite it.

whose quote is that? mine I often quote
myself it usually adds something to the

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