Original subtitles

Uncle Mark, next time I have a vacation, would you mind if we just roughed it in

a hotel with a swimming pool?

But right now I need complete seclusion to repair my spaceship.

I had no idea it could be so disastrous.

Well, it just looks like rust to me.

Common oxidation could never affect my ship.

It's something much more powerful and diabolical.

Namely, smog.

Uh -oh.

There's another spot.

What's that, Buck Rogers?

Euregons? You obviously read too many comic books as a child.

The Neutronic Eraser is a variation of your Earth's primitive laser beam.

It disintegrates the spot and the surrounding metal.

Of course, my ship can't fly now.

But once those weakened spots are coated with Restorium, it will be good as new.

Restorium? I never heard of it.

Well, it hasn't been discovered here on Earth.

Fortunately, there's a deposit nearby.

A wonderful metallic ore, Tim.

Restorium replates spaceships, restores fragile bands to their original state,

repairs zygolots, and is a cure for the common glock.

I don't know if we've ever managed to live without it.

First, I must check for smog atoms.

Smog? Here?

Some places are hundreds of miles from nowhere.

This is hundreds of miles from everywhere.

Well, centuries ago, we on Mars discovered there's nothing more far

than creeping smogism.

Now, I'm going to circle the area to make sure that there's none present.

Will you put my suit away and unpack Emily for me? Oh, sure.

Happy hunting.

Restorium?

Glockos?

Isn't he smart, Emily?

You know, I wonder what it feels like to be a Martian.

Look, you're making some kind of a mistake.

Put down that ray gun.

Whatever you say.

Get back there.

Don't you come near us or I'll shoot.

Is he really a Martian?

Did you say a Martian?

Oh, no, no.

No, I'm an actor.

You're a Martian, all right.

Now get back there. Get back.

Hands up.

Here, Pop.

Oh, quiet, Gerald. Can't you see?

Give me that. You don't know how to handle a thing like this.

That was a fiendish thing for you to do.

I'm standing right here.

Gee, wait till I tell the kids back home we captured a Martian.

Jack, think.

He's traveled millions of miles through space.

When I tell you, I am not a, uh...

Martin! Martin!

Did you try any of your sneaky Martian tricks?

Martians aren't sneaky.

How would you know that?

Unless you're a Martian.

He doesn't mean to harm us, Dad. I just feel it.

Sally, you just let your old dad handle this.

You're only a child.

Hey, Pop.

And you too, Gerald.

But there's somebody coming.

Maybe it's more Martians.

Now, you come on with me and stop pulling back like that. I'm going to

some water. If it takes me all day to walk all through this desert, I'll find

that water for... Well, howdy.

Howdy, I'm Death Valley Marty.

Well, howdy. Am I glad to see you.

I'm Daniel Farrell, and this is my daughter Sally.

And that's a Martian.

You mean that there weird -looking fellow there with the crazy long johns?

Don't get too close to him. He might be radioactive.

Oh, well.

Well, I can check and see if he's radioactive.

I got me a giga -towner here.

Use it for prospecting.

You go right ahead.

I'll keep him covered.

Sally, do something.

You should have let us carry some of this. You children are too young. When

learn how to take care of things...

convincing them that you're not a Martian is becoming increasingly

And we've got to fix my spaceship before we can get out of here. I hope we can

get rid of these people.

I'll buy that.

I hope they will.

Well,

he's not radioactive.

Though I reckon he is a Martian, all right.

I've never seen one out this way in the desert.

We'd better get the police.

Are you sure that's necessary?

Seems like a... a harmless sort of little felcon to me.

Oh, I am.

I am a friendly Martian.

No, no, now, that's the thing to do.

The only question is, who should go?

Now, let's see, I could stay here and guard him while you go.

But then, on the other hand, I might make better time and you stay.

I'll go.

Yes, that'd solve it.

You are tricky.

That's what you want.

What's the matter?

Oh, it's the desert wobblies.

It comes on you sudden -like sometimes.

But don't you worry your head about it.

I'm used to the agony.

Well, I can't let you go like that.

But you keep your eye on him.

Taking the young 'uns with you, ain't you?

No, no, they're tired. They've come a long ways today.

I can make better time by myself.

Here. He might need this.

Well, like you said, he's a pretty tricky fella.

I've already thought of that. I got a rope right here.

You see, children, when you come on these camping trips, you'll learn to

with any situation.

That's the advantage of coming prepared.

Where is that rope?

He's the first man from outer space ever to land on Earth.

We shouldn't do that.

She's right, you know. I mean, you wouldn't.

You couldn't.

Pardon me.

You shouldn't.

Keep it covered now.

Why not?

That being the case, I reckon I better do myself a little scouting.

See if there's any more of these here Martian fellas hanging around.

You go with Sally and hitch up my burrow good and tight, will you, Sonny?

Yes, sir.

This is my chance to get the restorium before Daniel comes back with the

gendarmes.

Don't go away.

Thank you.

Always remember.

Yeah.

I'm not likely to forget it myself.

When I first saw you, standing there in shining armor like Sir Lancelot.

Poetry? Past and present?

Isn't that sort of an odd book for a girl who likes camping?

I just come along to please Daddy.

He had to raise us all by himself.

He likes us to stay together.

Got a favorite?

What?

How do I love thee?

Let me count the ways.

I love thee to the depth, and breadth and height my soul will reach.

My very favorite poem, and you know it.

But how does a Martian know it?

I saw the movie.

Hi.

Isn't Death Valley Marty back yet?

Gerald, you should hear about some of the things on Mars.

Drag racing?

No, not exactly. You see, on Mars, we can levitate things with our fingers. So

we have finger races.

I'm known as the fastest finger on West Mars.

Poor hands.

Yeah.

You shouldn't do that. I don't care what Daddy says. This is wrong.

Thank you. Hey, now you can show me how you levitate.

Now you can get away.

Oh, well, I can't. I mean, I can't. You can't levitate?

You can't run? No, I can't answer both of your questions at the same time.

Hey there, I'm back.

But he's loose.

Sally, Gerald, get away from him.

But, Pop.

And you, stay right where you are.

How'd he get loose anyhow?

Well, to tell you the truth, Dad, I... I levitated myself.

Levitated? What's that mean? Hey, Dad, he's the fat... the finger I'm with

I don't know what you're talking about, Gerald, but I'll tell you one thing, Mr.

Martian. You... You got back quicker than I expected.

Well, there's an emergency phone right at the edge of the National Park. The

police will be here any minute.

Well, I'll go watch for them.

Gerald, come back here.

Oh, I have to keep an eye on that boy every minute.

Sally, go get him.

Now, who's keeping an eye on her?

Here, you...

to have to be a fast repair job.

But as long as the spaceship is all right, we're all right.

Hey, Dad, look! I found the Martian spaceship!

Let's take them all off, Gerald. I want to get the total picture.

Daddy, please untie him.

He's used to being free among the stars.

Well, then what's he doing here?

Yeah, it's a spaceship, all right.

You know, the closest I ever got to the stars was Hollywood.

Now, let's face it, Tim. You're no knight in shining armor.

You shouldn't have led that girl on. You've got to let her down easy.

Daddy, all you have to do is look in his eyes.

I know we can trust him. Sally, listen to your father. Children should be heard

and not seen.

Er, seen and not... Well, anyway, be quiet and let me figure this thing out.

We've got to find out what's inside of here.

He is going to peel your ship like a grape.

Well, I can't get a grape in orbit.

I've got to get in there and get my electromagnetic welder.

It's the only way I can apply the restorium.

Well, you find anything?

No, I'm still trying to get inside of it.

Well,

what do you know?

I must have touched something.

Open like magic.

Anything, old -timer?

No, no, just the panel with a lot of lights on it, that's all.

You see anything dangerous? I mean, was there any weapons?

Weapons? No.

No, no weapons, but then what would I know?

Well, I'm going to take a look in there.

How'd that happen?

I don't know.

There's got to be a button.

Everything has a button.

We must act fast before the police arrive.

Tim, you'll have to fly my spaceship back home.

Me? You're kidding.

I wish I were.

But these people must see you return to Mars.

Now, there's no danger.

I'll act as your ground control and direct you via MTA, Mental Telepathy

Frankly, Uncle Martin, I am mild about the Wild Blue Yonder.

But there's got to be a button.

It's necessary, Tim. But first we must distract them.

you'll have to become their version of a Martian. The comic book type.

Well, I'd like to.

But I'm a little tied up at the moment.

A minor detail.

Take me to your Earth, people.

for the Intergalactic Council Subcommittee on Inferior Planets. It is

determine the present stage of development on this planet that you call

What's that?

You think you're better than we are?

We, of the other planets, have powers far beyond your comprehension.

foliage. Grass.

And now, the lilies of the field which sow not, nor

do they reap.

Not to mention roses.

And to complete this magnificent spectacle, the fruit of the vine.

Oranges.

Of course, I could have done it all with my little finger.

back to Mars, ain't it? Yes, I must go.

But I'm afraid I shall have to report that you Earth people are not developed

sufficiently enough to belong to the UG.

That's the United Galaxies.

So, farewell.

Don't go.

Mrs. Sally, what are you saying?

Daddy, you don't understand.

I'm not a child anymore.

You're the only one who doesn't treat me that way.

Please don't go.

Sally, you're a nice girl, but I didn't mean...

I could not want a

finer companion.

Why, to walk this earthbound pace.

But duties, deeds, diversions decree.

I must another high road race.

Now what do I do?

Push button 6M and stand by for instructions.

You sure this will work?

I realize it's like allowing a five -year -old to pilot the X -15, but I

choice. Push that button.

The police will never be able to catch him up there.

No, they won't.

We'll call the Air Force.

But Pop, they'll shoot him down.

Well, we can't let him go. He's a menace to all of us. He can do anything he

wants with those powers he's got.

All he's got to do is point that finger of his and it's pow, goodbye Charlie.

Didn't, uh... Huh?

Didn't pow.

Why, he was showing us how to grow grass on this here desert.

That don't seem so terrible.

And the roses, what's wrong about them?

How come you want to shoot him, Pop?

He didn't do anything to us.

Well, he... He... Seems to me you're the dangerous one.

Always wanting to shoot me.

You kept pointing that gun at him. You tied him up and now you want the Air

Force to shoot him down.

Well, but I... But he... But... Hello?

I got a call from the state police.

Are you the people who reported seeing a Martian?

Martian? What Martian?

I didn't see no Martian.

Well, I... He...

Oh, who'd report a silly thing like that?

Probably just someone's idea of a joke.

Are you people camping up in the national park?

Yeah.

Yeah, and it's late.

We better go.

Let me show you the way.

We're too young, Gerald.

When you know how to take care of... Why, yeah,

sure, Gerald, of course, if you think you can.

Sure.

Kids have got to learn to think for themselves, I always say.

You know, Mr. Farrell, maybe Earth will get into that United Galaxies outfit

yet.

Can you handle that all right, son? Sure, Pop, nothing to it. Yeah, my boy's

growing up, huh?

Yeah, getting strong, too.

You all set, son?

Yeah. All right.

Let's go, son. Goodbye, Marty. Goodbye, Emily.

You

see,

Emily, people don't need to be stubborn as mules.

No offense meant.

Tim is not... Great Saturn's rings.

Tim.

Don't panic, Tim. I'll get you down, Tim.

worry, Tim. I'll tell you what to do. Well, if it involves anything more than

screaming for help, we're in big trouble.

You will note a lever directly in front of you.

Push it forward.

Slowly.

I said slowly.

Now reverse it.

Hey!

Hey, I did it. Of course. Now try it again and...

Slowly.

Ah!

Well, Uncle Martin, look.

Don't you worry about a thing, because I guess there are just some of us who can

fly a crate by the seat of our pants.

You obviously need more sensitive pants.

Now, pay attention.

You're directly above our driveway.

All you have to do is flip the red switch, and you will descend

Let's face it, Uncle Martin, this just isn't my day.