Original subtitles

That one's goofing off.

How soon do you think you'll be able to bring back your spaceship, Uncle Wynn?

Well, as soon as the parts are repaired.

Of course, the ship's hidden in the underbrush, but someone could stumble

it. That's a good thing it didn't break down at Broadway and Main Street.

Well, now, I don't conduct test flights over Broadway and Main Street.

and getting the ship back, Tim.

Oh, no, not me. Listen, I get busy just going up on an escalator. I'm referring

to Mrs. Brown.

Yeah, well, I love her, but she's dizzy even on the ground.

I meant I want you to keep her occupied when I bring the ship in.

It's one thing to be an unidentified flying object up in the wild blue yonder

and quite another to be seen on Mrs. Brown's patio.

We'll have to keep her busy while I'm landing.

How come I get all the hard jobs?

Well...

Okay, but it's going to be a pretty dull afternoon for me. Let's just call it

your contribution to interplanetary relations.

Why couldn't I have got an apartment in Jane Mansfield's backyard?

But I like girls!

You sure you want to learn the tango? Well, you said it was your favorite

Mrs. Brown.

Well, of course, that was years ago when I was terribly young.

Well, Mrs. Brown, you're still terribly young, which is why I think you do not

know the tango at all. Well, you are in for a surprise.

Welcome, Monica Martin. Hurry up.

Hooray!

Hooray!

I guess.

Mrs. Brown, do you mind if we sit the rest of this out? It's a little hot for

dancing. All right, let's go in the garden and cool off. You mean outside?

You mean O .U .T.? Well, you said it was too hot to dance.

Not too hot, no!

Let's dance!

Wherever you are, stay there.

How did you have a good trip?

Oh, loverly.

Wasn't it loverly, Henry?

This nice young man pulled in right behind us. Oh, I didn't introduce you.

are my loverly tenants, Tim and Martin O 'Hara. And this is my sister, Dulcy,

and her husband, Henry, and their little sweetie pie, Stanley.

Oh, and that's George.

He's a dog.

They've come to visit.

Charming. How long are they staying?

How long are you staying?

How long are you staying?

A few days. I have a conference in San Diego.

A few days.

Conference in San Diego. A few days. Conference in San Diego.

Henry builds computing machines, don't you, Henry?

Don't you, Henry?

I'm taking the banks.

George says he likes you.

George said nothing of the kind, Stanley.

Dogs do not talk. They're incapable of speech.

This is a practical and realistic world, Stanley, and there's no place in it for

any such fanciful nonsense.

I want to hear no more about speaking dogs.

Now pick up your bag and come into the house, son.

Do what your daddy says, sweetie pie.

What your daddy says, sweetie pie.

Oh, we've got scads to talk about. Scads to talk about. Bye.

Bye.

Do you hear an echo?

To Mrs.

Brown's. It's kind of like, uh, too much.

Uncle Martin, what happened to your spaceship? How come you didn't land it,

thank goodness?

It was a close call, Tim. I was airborne over the freeway when I decided to tune

in on the cars below. You know, listen to a little chit -chat.

Yeah, well, Uncle Martin, I hate to tell you this, but that's eavesdropping. Not

where I come from.

Anyway, I picked up what sounded like Mrs. Brown's voice, which rather

me. Belzy. Right.

I listened, discovered they were headed here.

I immediately reversed my ship.

Hit it for the heels and hit it in the underbrush again. That's going to be

quite a problem getting it back here with all those people around.

Really?

Uncle Martin, I keep forgetting you can talk to dogs.

Boy, would Henry be surprised.

He'd be more surprised if he knew what George was saying.

What? What'd he say?

That Henry's a killjoy who won't let the boy have a childhood.

Stanley isn't permitted to believe in anything that can't be computed on an

electronic computer.

Well, now what?

George says he'd bite Henry, only Henry would probably bite him back.

Look, I've got my own troubles.

How am I going to get my ship back into the garage, Tim?

Nobody

out there

except Stanley and George.

I can't risk it, Tim.

I'll just have to bring the ship in during the night. I hate to take off

unfamiliar terrain in the darkness, but...

It can't be helped.

I'll land when everyone's asleep tonight.

Uh -oh, they're heading for the garage. My plans and tools are in there.

Dogs, kids, spaceships, Martians.

Why couldn't I just live in Jane Mansfield's backyard?

Hiya,

Danny. Hi.

How are you, George?

What's in the garage?

Oh, uh, tools and things. What kind of things?

Legumes and diddle dumps and bang -ba -wa -whoop -dee -boops and double

pickle bumps and... Wait, that's pretty good.

You know what I got?

Uh, don't tell me.

A talking ladybug. How'd you know?

Oh, that's easy. Everyone collects talking ladybugs. Want to see?

Sure.

Never mind.

What's the matter, Stan?

It's just a ladybug, and ladybugs don't talk.

I was lying.

You weren't lying, Stanley. You were imagining.

My dad used to make up things that aren't true as lying.

And make beliefs for people who can't face facts.

Life is realistic, and bugs and dogs can't talk.

Stanley! Lunch, sweetie pie!

I have to go.

I can do square root.

You're absolutely right, George.

It's wrong to deny a child the world of make -believe.

I couldn't agree more.

It's a pity Stanley's father doesn't know the difference between imagination

a lie.

Now, don't be ridiculous.

I'm in no position to adopt an 80 -year -old boy and a big shaggy dog who can

talk to me.

Thanks. Thanks.

You sure glad you got your spaceship back safely? Well, I'd hardly run into

traffic at that hour. Good morning, George.

What's the matter with George? He's kind of unfriendly this morning. We've got a

problem. What now?

Well, he says he and Stanley saw me land last night. Stanley saw you?

Well, he didn't know it was me. He thought it was a Martian.

You are a Martian.

Oh, yes, I am.

Anyway, he saw what he refers to as a spaceman and a spaceship enter the

Holy Toledo!

What now?

Stanley told his father what he saw. Where are you going? Out of Mongolia.

panic. Henry didn't believe Stanley.

Oh, what a relief.

Stanley's being punished right now for telling lies.

You don't want Henry to believe Stanley, do you? This is an extremely ticklish

situation. Stanley's in the soup for telling the truth. Yeah, and we're in

soup if Henry believes him, too.

I'm going to see what's going on.

not see a spaceman in a spaceship.

There are no such things.

It was a Martian. There are no Martians.

But, Daddy, I saw... Stanley!

George saw him, too. You can ask George.

I cannot ask George. Dogs do not talk, Stanley. I love you very much, son, but

I'm going to have to be firm.

Talking dogs, talking ladybugs, and now Martians. I'm going to have to punish

you, Stanley. Not because I want to.

But because I must impress you with the seriousness of the situation, you will

watch no television for two weeks.

But, Daddy, if you'll just look in the garage... I will not look in the garage.

I will make a point not to look in the garage. I will not be a party to your

fantasies. I want you to repeat after me.

There are no spaceships. There are no spaceships. There are no Martians.

There's a logical reason for everything that happened.

There, there's... Daddy,

the bookend fell.

I know it fell.

It was up in the air.

It was magic, Daddy.

There is no magic. It was probably an earth tremor. I didn't feel anything.

I'm certain if we check with Palo Alto, we'll discover the seismograph recorded

an earth tremor.

Well, what's George saying?

That it's all my fault.

That Stanley did see a spaceship.

And he's being punished unfairly.

All right. I'll do something.

I'll do something.

Something.

Oh.

What is the shortest route to Outer Mongolia?

Now, come on, Uncle Martin. You can't keep on brooding. What's the sense? And

look, Stanley's not going to be in the doghouse forever.

I'm responsible for Stanley's dilemma, and I can't be careless about it, Tim.

Well, you can't reveal yourself to Henry.

And aside from that, you certainly can't interfere between a father and a child.

You're absolutely right, Tim.

I simply have to put the whole thing out of my mind. I'm proud of you, Uncle

Martin. Now, I know this is not an easy decision for you.

Well, come on in.

I suppose you'd like to challenge me. Well, how are things, Stanley?

How's the talking ladybug?

Ladybugs don't talk.

It's all make -believe.

It's imagining. Imagining is bad.

I'm not going to do it anymore.

Great things start with imagination, Stanley.

Great paintings, great poems, even great scientific achievements.

Now, you take old Isaac Newton.

There he was, this fine summer day, sitting under this apple tree.

And, uh, ka -plop!

An apple conks him on the noggin.

Now, did old Isaac Newton say, Ah, an apple, and proceed to consume it?

Not at all.

Not by the great horned toad, he didn't.

He contemplated that apple, and he contemplated the tree, and he imagined.

He imagined great, heavy objects hurtling through space.

And out of a falling apple, on a summer day, and a fertile imagination, came

Newton's laws of gravity and motion.

Golly.

And that's not all.

Suppose Benjamin Franklin hadn't had the imagination to fly that kite in an

electrical storm.

Your mother wants you, Stanley.

Run along, son.

Not to fill my son's head with nonsense, Mr. O 'Hara.

As for Benjamin Franklin, he caught a terrible cold in that storm and nearly

died of pneumonia.

Imagination, indeed.

This would be a pretty dull world if it weren't for imagination.

Especially for a child.

Imagination and fantasy are the dividends, the extra added attractions

childhood. Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny.

Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny?

Mr. O 'Hara, you are out of this world.

I know, but that's beside the point.

The Easter Bunny.

Really?

But that man...

Well, Simmerdown and Gilmartin, think of your blood pressure. Martians don't

have any blood pressure. Oh, that's right. Well, then start thinking about

fuses. You're liable to blow. That man's impossible.

Well, he's just got a logical mind, that's all. Two and two always make

Not when they're rabbits.

He told Stanley that there is no Easter Bunny.

There's no Easter Bunny? And no Santa Claus. That's an American.

It's even on Martian.

All right, all right, I'll do something.

I feel like Big Brother's watching me.

Come on in, it's open.

I just said, uh... Uh, what about the garage, Mrs. Brown? The garage.

Oh, oh, oh, yes, the garage.

Well, you see, the fire department just phoned. It's fire prevention week, and

they'll be here first thing in the morning to check the premises.

All premises?

Every nook and cranny. So, I'll have to ask you to please clear out everything

you have in the garage. We do want to get a gold star now, don't we?

Bye.

What's the shortest route to Outer Mongolia? Pakistan.

Well, I'm going to Pakistan.

Pakistan! Pakistan!

Tom, at a time like this, listen, my metabolism is shaking like a bowl full

junkies. Tim, you know what I'm going to do? No.

I'm going to kill two dinosaurs with one boulder.

What? I'm going to get my spaceship out of the garage, help Stanley, and teach

Henry a lesson.

Now, I want you to get Mrs. Brown and her sister out of the house this

afternoon. Tell them there's a sale at Lacey's or something.

Then make sure Henry's alone in the garden. Well, I don't know if I can do

Of course you can.

Think positive.

Remember Norman Vincent Peale.

I'll do it. Good.

Now, what's the plan?

It's brilliant and infallible.

Tim, suppose we had never met. Oh, come on, bite your tongue.

Thank you, dear.

But just suppose we had never met, and one sunny afternoon, you were out in the

garden, and suddenly a flying saucer appeared overhead.

What would you do?

Well, I'd think that I was imagining things.

Huh? Good thinking.

Oh.

Oh,

and listen, you Martians are pretty foxy, aren't you? On Mars, we call it

creative thinking.

Oh, how would you like to come to my place and play checkers, huh? It's too

a day for Stanley to be indoors.

Too nice a day.

Oh, oh!

How about a nice long walk?

It's too close to dinner time.

Why don't you bring the checkers down here?

Stanley prefers chess, but he plays a fine game of checkers, too.

Yes, well, I'll bring them to set.

I think the charcoal's just right, son. We'll put the hamburgers on in a few

minutes and then we'll... And

then

this thing went... It wasn't a thing. It was a spaceship.

Like from Mars?

Naturally. They may be all around us. It may be an invasion.

Are you sure you feel okay, Mac? I feel fine. I tell you, you've got to get out

on alert.

The ship was silver.

I like silver.

There's no time to waste. Call Washington.

He's dead.

I don't mean George.

I don't mean you.

I saw it.

You saw it, but he didn't.

He went, shh.

Fire your retro rockets and prepare for reentry.

Cut that out.

You saw it, son.

Tell him. He said he didn't want me to lie.

Stanley.

You saw it, George.

Tell him.

Talks can't talk. You said so, Daddy.

You got this.

Nice old Georgie. Good old Georgie. Tell him you saw it, Georgie.

Now, you take the aspirin, Henry, and in no time at all, you'll be your old

self. I wasn't exactly crazy about his old self.

Boy, is he shook up. I saw it.

I know I saw it.

I think I saw it.

Well, maybe you've been working too hard.

Yeah, squaring all those roots.

They didn't believe me.

It seems so real.

Imagination can seem real.

Candid Stanley.

And making believe is fun, isn't it?

Well, it's been a long day. I think I'll turn in. Good night, all.

Isn't it remarkable that of all the machines devised by man, not one can

imagination?

You think they'll ever build a computer that can write poetry or paint pictures?

Or replace the look in a child's eye on Christmas morning?

Why, Martin, that's lovely.

Do you believe in the Easter Bunny, Mrs. Brown?

Of course.

Mrs. Brown, I love you.

Son. Yes, Daddy?

Could I see your talking ladybug?

Take it easy, George.

You can see it, too.

your move uncle martin

couldn't

possibly happen

or

could it