All language subtitles for My Favorite Martian s01e29 Unidentified Flying Uncle Martin

Wink oil.

Coming from the underbelly of my
spaceship.

I can't explain it, Tim. I'm in a lot of
trouble.

Well, why? I mean, can't you just, you
know, stuff it up with a rag or a cork

something? Why don't you just tighten
something? I'm sure it'll be all right.

Tim, you're thinking Earth -wise.

A Martian spaceship is not like your
Earth automobiles.

Well, a few minutes ago you said it was.

No, I said like your Earth automobile, a
Martian spaceship cannot stand idle in

a garage.

Stagnation, inertia, corrosion sets in.

Oh.

Why don't you just put it up on jacks
and drain it all out?

I don't know, but it shouldn't taste
like this this time of the year.

Tim, a Martian spaceship cannot be put
up on jacks. It cannot be drained out.

Like a fine racehorse, like a champion
fighter, to keep in shape, it has to be

exercised. Oh, well, then why don't you
just give it a couple of laps around the

garage?

Oh, it tastes just like oil. How can you
tell the difference? Because I'm a

Martian.

And I've got to get in cycle before your
seasons change.

Well, what are you talking about? Like
you put antifreeze in your car

well, the structure of a spaceship is
also affected by the weather.

Tonight. Mm -hmm. Tonight.

And even tonight may not be soon enough.

Well, what do you mean tonight? What are
you talking about tonight? What?

Well, I must fly tonight. I must fly my
spaceship tonight. You can't. I have to.

You can't. You can't.

Tim, there's an old pop song on Mars. It
goes like this. You can't say you can't

to a Martian because there's nothing a
Martian can't do. You can't. UFO.

I what?

UFO, initials, unidentified flying
objects.

Is that a song down here that I don't
know about?

No, it's very, very serious.

Unidentified flying object. They have an
office down here for that kind of

thing. Well, I -A -S -V -I -M -C -R.

What is that, initials? What does that
mean? Is that Martian? No, it's

I just made up to go along with your
initials.

It means, I'm very sorry, it's my
calculated risk.

If the weather is right, we fly tonight.

Tonight we fly.

We? Me.

Perfect night. Shh, shh, shh.

Mrs. Brown's asleep.

Boy,

I still don't believe it. Shh.

Mrs. Brown.

If anything happens,

in case I don't come back. In case you
don't what? Shh.

I want you to burn my diary.

Destroy all traces of my having been
here. Now, wait, wait, wait, in case you

don't come back. No one could possibly
go wrong. You ought to be coming back.

Tim, I'm just trying to be cautious. In
case I crash, it would be better if

people thought I'd just arrived, rather
than think I've been here for any length

of time.

Well, now, look, you don't want to cause
any panic, do you? No. Well, then go

back upstairs.

And northeast by north. That's not what
I mean. How are you going to fly without

anybody spotting you?

Nobody spotting you.

Tim, when I landed here, I was able to
do so without anyone seeing me. But that

was different. This is right in your own
backyard.

Which is where your earth moralists say
your good fortune always lies.

Now, stop worrying, Tim.

There's no problems.

When I take off, there's a faint, high
-pitched whir. And then it cuts out.

I return, I simply descend with no
sound.

You're really going to do it, huh? Yes.

minutes, seven seconds, and three
brumps.

Brumps? Well, I never did explain that
to you, did I? Well, it's a Martian

concept of fine time. It's in between
the seconds.

Oh, well, it's not important.

Fifty -eight minutes is enough for you.

Now,

be

careful.

Don't buzz anybody and try to hide
behind some clowns.

Will you stop shaking?

It's vibrating the ground. It's bouncing
my level scope.

I can't help it. It's not every day that
I stand in my backyard and watch a

spaceship take off.

Get out of here, Uncle Martin. I'm
starting to get the nervous giggles.

Watch out for my backwash.

Did you hear the strange sound?

Sound? No, no. I've just been standing
around. And when I opened the door, I'd

swear that you were standing here
giggling.

Giggling? Oh, yes. Well, I guess you
caught me, Mrs. Brown. I'm a giggler.

Tim, are you all right?

Oh, yes, yes. I'm fine. Just a midnight
giggler. I'm birdwatching.

You're what?

Birdwatching. You see, there's a
midnight giggler.

Well, that's a bird, and I'm out here
trying to catch him. And what you do is

when he lands, you take your robe and
you throw it over him.

A midnight giggler. Yes, that's right.
It's a very rare bird, and I'm trying to

catch him, and I'm terribly sorry I
disturbed you, Mrs. Brown.

Oh, that's all right. But there was this
very strange sound, a high -pitched

whirring sound up in the air.

No, no, no, no, no.

That's impossible.

I've been out here the entire time, and
I didn't hear a thing, not a single

sound, a dreaming. You must have been
dreaming, Mrs. Brown.

Oh, well.

I guess you're right. Maybe I was
dreaming.

You're muted.

You better go to bed, Mrs. Brown. You
look very, very sleepy.

You're bird watching. Yes, well, I'm
surprised I haven't told you about that

before, Mrs. Brown. I love bird
watching, but bird watching all my

and especially the midnight giggler. And
if one lands here and I catch it, I'll

be sure to wake you up, all right? Well,
good night, Mrs. Brown. Sleep tight.

to know that your spaceship is... Tim!
Tim! Are you still out there?

Oh,

you

are still here.

Yes!

Have you been watching for your midnight
gigger all this time? Uh, yes. Then you

must have seen it. No. No, not your
bird. That thing in the sky.

The thing up in the sky? What thing?
What sky?

Well, I don't know. It was about up
there someplace. It was shooting across

sky. I thought you were asleep.

Well, I was. But, well, not really. I
kept tossing and then I looked out my

window and I saw this... Well, I don't
know what it was.

Shooting across the sky.

Nightmare. What?

You see, you were dreaming again, only
this time you were having a nightmare.

But I wasn't asleep.

Oh, but of course you were, but that's
the way it is with nightmares. You see,

you think you're awake, but you're
really asleep.

Because if you knew that you were
asleep, it wouldn't be a nightmare.

Oh, I guess you're right.

Good night.

Good night, Jim. Good night.

to see your bird.

Oh.

Well,

I had to write the story. I had
absolutely no choice.

I am the science editor on the paper and
these people just kept calling.

Oh, I understand, Tim. I'm not blaming
you.

Well, I don't blame you for not blaming
me.

You were the one that was cited.

You know, I can double talk Mrs. Brown,
but I cannot double talk a whole city

full of people who saw you, uh... Hot
rotting in the moonlight.

You, uh, you do understand.

You were seen, spotted, sighted. You are
a, uh, flying saucer.

Now, what's so frightening about a
flying saucer?

something to worry about.

Okay, Uncle Martin, have your fun. I'm
sure you're enjoying yourself, but I'm

glad it's over. But it isn't. What? What
do you mean it isn't? What do you mean?

Well, my flight last night was
successful, but not completely. I must

more. It's too risky.

Nevertheless, these parts, delicate
Plutron, must be honed in action. But

can't fly.

I must. My spaceship is in repair cycle.
Once that's started, there's no turning

back. Answer the door. They're here.
But, Uncle Martin, it was in tonight's

paper, and everyone's going to be
watching it.

They're here. Who's here? What door?
That door.

Two men with Mrs. Brown. They're from
that office with those silly initials.

Uncle Mark?

Tim?

UFO. That's where they're from.
Unidentified flying objects. What?

Uncle Mark?

Answer the door.

The door.

Answer the door. The door.

So when I read your article in this
afternoon's edition and realized that I

right last night, and it wasn't a
nightmare, you know, when you were out

looking for your bird. She, uh, called
our office and told us that she saw a

right outside her window.

And I told them if I saw what I saw from
my window, imagine the view they could

get from your window, being you're much
higher up.

I, uh, hope we're not intruding, but,
uh, may we stay?

Uh, no.

Yes! Of course you're not intruding.
Make yourselves right at home.

I'll go down and put up some hot coffee
and brownies.

Oh, well, what's that? Things and
equipment and stuff? A couple of

put them together.

Compact units and a small audio camera.

A ranging unit and a Plutron detector. I
hope we're not intruding.

There are a lot of teams like us, but we
probably won't cite everything. But if

there is something... We certainly
appreciate this.

Very shrewd move on your part. Yes, I
thought so. But it won't work. I'm still

going out tonight.

Oh, but you can't. Not with them in the
house. With them in the house.

They've got testers, they've got
counters, they've got a Plutron counter,

they can zero in on my spaceship in the
garage in a second.

And one of them's got an electronic
beeper that makes my antennas rise and

whistle.

Uncle Martin?

Hmm? Fly.

I am. It's the only way to go.

It's excellent sighting, Eric.
Excellent.

Yeah, it'd be even nicer if you had
something to sight.

You don't have to grin at me.

You don't believe in spaceships, and
neither do I. Nor do I believe in flying

saucers or fish -eyed Venusians or moon
men.

Or what about Martians?

I don't understand. What's so funny?

Them. I believe in them. You do?

That's why I'm laughing.

Jim, my partner, he saw one.

Your partner saw a Martian?

Jack. Jack, go in downstairs, set up
audio camera, okay? Good, Jim, good.

I was just telling him about your
Martian.

Sure.

Where did he see a Martian?

In here.

You see, this has a micromatic
attachment.

It only focuses 500 miles or on out.
Anything closer gets distorted. I know.

How do you know? Well, it doesn't
matter.

Anyway, Jim and I were on a routine job,
and he was looking through here, when

all of a sudden... He spotted this thing
flying out there just as bold as you

please. Well, he hollered for me to
verify the sighting.

Except that... You'd have to be a UFO
man to appreciate the humor here.

He got so excited, he knocked this front
piece out of whack.

But it seemed so strong.

How could you knock it out of whack?

By doing what you just did.

So I didn't see his Martian. But he kept
insisting that I verify it. And the

more I wouldn't, the bigger his story
grew.

So we finally made a deal.

I wouldn't verify his Martian, but I'll
believe he saw one.

A green one.

So I believe in Martians.

Green ones.

Well, if I'm going to believe in
Martians, I might as well believe in

ones.

Green.

Really? Green?

Like the color of a pool table. That
kind of green.

And one large orange eye and, well, like
a W .C. Fields type of nose. Just keeps

flashing on and off.

Red.

I always thought Martians were beige.

It's such a warm color.

You take this spoon and you climb into
the tree outside the bedroom.

You're putting me on.

No, I shifted the adjustment on his
telescope.

He won't realize it, but this spoon at
15 feet will look like a mile -wide

flying saucer.

In a tree?

Suspended from a simple piece of white
string.

Jack. Jack.

Got the audio camera all lined up. Any
UFOs that come zipping around here...

Good. What's that?

Oh, this is a Plutron counter.

Oh, of course.

It's really quite simple once you know
how to operate it.

Now, we take this Plutron and we throw
off his counting machine.

How do we do that? With Mrs. Brown.

During the panic, turn on the garbage
disposal unit. I rewired it this

Its frequency pitch is in audible range
with my spaceship.

You put the sink in sync?

Isn't that cute?

Jim.

Yeah, I see.

Something wrong?

You sure you got it zeroed right?

Perfect. Everything's perfect.

What's wrong? What is it?

Here somewhere?

Cart?

Oh, that's cute. What is that?

You climb out the window and get into
the tree and dangle that spoon like I

you.

and the uncle grabbed it, but I put it
back, I think.

500 miles.

like an apple.

Jim.

Believe me, a little hamburger patty on
your nose and the swelling will go right

down. Did you see it? Did you?

What happened to you?

He fell out of a tree.

I'm really ashamed of you, Tim.

I was taking my constitutional and I
looked up in the tree right outside my

bedroom window and there was my nephew
apparently playing some kind of a joke

you people.

Oh, he was looking for the midnight
giggler.

No, he was dangling a spoon at the end
of a piece of thread and it was right in

front of the telescope lens.

If you check, you'll see, and I think
you'll find that that was your flying

saucer. A scoop?

My nephew, he's always been overzealous.

Looking to make a scoop for tomorrow's
paper.

What makes Timmy run?

All right.

But what about the UFO sound? What about
that?

Oh, well, that's very simple.

garbage disposal.

Thank you. Thank you very much for the
use of your hall.

It's too bad.

It's quite an experience when you see a
Martian.

I've seen a Martian, you know. Yes, I'm
sure you have.

A green one.

It's a little raw.

He likes it well done.

Well done.

Well done.

You know, I was just thinking how wild
that really was. My

being in that tree and dangling that
spoon in front of that telescope, making

like a spaceship.

I appreciate it, Tim. And I'm glad you
didn't hurt yourself too badly falling

out of that tree. Oh, listen, that was
nothing. I was just glad you were able

get that spaceship up into the air and
make the adjustments and fix that blink

oil leak.

You know, I can't get over how wild that
really is.

being able to fly out of here without
anyone noticing you. You know, besides

Mrs. Brown and my newspaper, you had
those two UFO investigators in here

in the house. You flew out right from
under their noses. And that's why this

last one is nothing to worry about.

They're gone, all is asleep, and it is
the end of my cycle and the correction

the stagnation.

I was talking about what I didn't hear
you say.

What was that about the correction?

Uncle Martin?

No.

Oh, no.

No.

Oh, he flies through the air.