Original subtitles

Uncle Martin, don't do it. Life can be beautiful.

Then close that door. You're creating a trap.

Oh, well, thank goodness.

At least if you were doing do -it -yourself electrocution, you wouldn't be

concerned about catching a cold.

Tim, you are watching history being made.

Archimedes and his bathtub, Newton and his apple, Einstein and his E equals MC

squared, and now your Uncle Martin takes his place with the immortals.

I hate to say this, but are you sure that your brain isn't getting overdone?

My brain is doing very well, thank you. Oh, Tim, would you mind watching that

dial on the wall?

When it gets near 100, let me know.

Sure. If my calculations are correct, this unit will give me just enough juice

to make the trip.

Trip? What trip? Back to Mars. This morning, I finally got my spaceship in

perfect working order. In a few minutes, I shall transmit a message to the

control tower at Copernicus Field.

Galaxy City, here I come.

Transmit with what? Have you forgotten that when you crash -landed, your

communication system went snafu? You haven't got enough parts left to sweep

under a postage stamp.

Tubes, condensers, rheostats. Who needs all that hardware?

Tim, you are looking at the first organic sending and receiving set.

You are going to be a two -way radio?

That's impossible.

Why is it that you Earth people greet every daring idea with the word

impossible?

of genie with the light brown hair.

Well, that's very clever.

What did you prove?

And now, get it back on my receiving set.

I didn't have time to install a stereophonic system.

I dream of genie with the light brown hair.

Uncle Martin, you are a genius.

Holy Toledo, the dial's up to 99. It's time to step out of the oven.

Now, let that be a lesson to you, Tim. Never underestimate the powers of a

Martian.

Well, I don't blame you for being steamed up.

I mean, after all, I did take my eyes off the dial and I sort of fouled up

trip. Oh, Tim, it wasn't entirely your fault. Oh, yes, it was. Now, come on,

Uncle Martin. Get it all out of your system before you explode.

Well, you were a little inattentive to duty.

Oh, well, a guy makes one little mistake, you jump all over him.

Sorry. I didn't mean to throw a tantrum.

Oh, that's all right, Uncle Martin. I really am very, very sorry.

Boy, you sure got a big dose of electricity. How do you feel?

Actually, quite exhilarating. Except for a slight buzzing sensation in my ears.

Like having one's head in a beehive.

Let's hope the condition doesn't last long.

It better not last longer than 19 hours and 59 minutes, or... Or what?

Well, I'd rather not talk about it.

Uncle Martin, this is Tim.

Your pal, your buddy, your friend. You can't hold out on me.

Well, it's not pleasant to talk about, but there have been a few recorded cases

of Martians being over -electrified for more than 20 hours.

Recorded cases?

That sounds pretty serious.

Oh, they manage to lead normal lives, as normal as anyone can with purple and

green plaid cheeks and a tendency to act as lightning rods.

You're putting me on.

Scout's honor.

Fortunately, I'm aware of the amount of overexposure.

And it would be a simple matter to rid myself of the overdosage.

What are you going to do?

I can't very well dispose of the excess electricity by throwing it in the

wastebasket.

Yeah, that's true.

So what?

Tim, you keep forgetting that I'm a Martian.

All I have to do is exert willpower and discharge the current back into the

circuit.

Uncle Martin?

Here I am.

I hate

to admit it, but I have a

feeling I did something wrong.

Yeah, this is the power station.

But lady, I can't help it if your TV set went out right in the middle of the

late, late show.

Huh?

No, I don't know if Betty Davis ever finds out she's really her own twin

I get

the whole town on my neck.

What are you going to do about getting those lights back on?

I'm trying, Mr. Logan, but there's something screwy going on. Just before

generator blew, the excess intake diminished the output, and the output

the intake.

Intake diminished the output?

Look, young man, if you want to come apart at the seams, don't do it on

time.

Uncle Martin.

What are you doing up? I thought you went to bed.

I did.

But a man who has absorbed enough electricity to light a battleship can

pretty restless.

Why didn't you wake me? I would have kept you company.

You were snoring so peacefully I didn't have the heart. Besides, I wanted to see

how my experiment would work.

Oh, no. Now don't tell me half the city is going to play blind man's bluff

again. Not at all. Everything is working perfectly.

Dangerous? Not a bit. I aim at the spout right across the way, and the current

goes right down the drain and into the ground.

Get it patented. What a crazy way to get rid of gophers.

What's the swami bit?

Oh, well, the electrical current produces a tingling effect, and the wet

alleviates the condition.

Stand back, Tim.

I call that my short circuit slider.

Achoo! Well, Gesundheit. You know you're going to catch a cold standing next to

an open door like that?

Well, believe me, I'd rather have the sniffles than to have that current in me

for more than 20 hours.

I don't blame you. From what you told me about that Martian -electro -Titus, I

wouldn't wish it on my boss. Well, I'll get you a scarf.

Achoo!

How about that? It turned itself on.

Tim, I wonder if... Oops.

Every time I sneeze, my electrical impulse is activating switches.

Do you realize it's three o 'clock in the morning?

Well, I can't help it. I'm trying not to...

Then what? You're going to wake up the whole neighborhood.

Correction. I have a feeling they're already awake.

But,

madam,

I assure you, we had nothing to do with turning on your power lawnmower.

Lady, I can't help it if it plowed through your prize rose bushes.

Well, there's no need to take that attitude.

I can assure you steps are being taken to prevent this from ever happening

again.

Bye.

What steps are we taking?

All of them. But none of them work.

You know, I was thinking, maybe somebody's come up with a new form of

control. This thing is getting too hot to handle.

I'm going to call in the police.

Morning, Tim.

Oh, hi, Uncle Martin.

Look, I have to go to the office, but I thought I'd wait around and see how you

were before I left.

Thank you.

I slept like the proverbial log.

That gentle, constant humming in my ears was very conducive to slumber.

Well, you look a lot better, and I might add that you've got the old, if you'll

pardon the expression, the old spark back.

Well, I took a reading this morning, and my voltage is decreasing.

As a matter of fact, I lost quite a lot of it while I was asleep.

Oh, yeah, well, after last night, I can't say that I blame you. You probably

lost a whole bushel basket full of kilowatts with each kazuntite.

Don't remind me.

Anything in the paper about it?

No, there's not.

You disappointed?

Hardly. I'm happy to retain my anonymity.

But still, a certain amount of recognition would seem in order.

I'll see you. I'm going to the salt mines.

Well, don't worry about me, Tim. I'll be...

Well, don't look so happy about it. You probably blew out the whole radio.

I guess you did.

With regard to the malicious power tampering of last night, the police

department predicts an early arrest.

An official statement from the police department reads, quote, whoever was

guilty of last night's outrage may be assured that we'll hunt him down

he may be.

We'll convict him, and we'll put the vandal behind bars where he belongs. And

now, for the weather.

Uh, Uncle Martin, I want you to know that no

matter what happens, I will stand by you.

But not too close.

it is, go away.

I'm too old and weak to have visitors today.

What are you doing down there?

Well, you look just like Humphrey Bogart waiting for the Fens to arrive. All you

need now is a chopper.

I thought it unwise to encourage unwelcome visitors while I'm so hot.

In more senses of the word than one.

Well, haven't you been able to cool off any? Not fast enough.

It's going to be nip and tuck as to whether I can de -juice myself before

-hour limit is up.

Uncle Martin, do you realize you have exactly 34 minutes and 12 seconds?

Don't remind me. Don't remind me.

Tim, you don't see any symptoms of the Martian's electrodermatitis, do you?

Well, I could give you a much better clinical analysis if I knew what I was

looking for.

Well, it usually starts on the face, with green lines or fuchsia horizontal

ones. No.

Well, how about intersecting magenta and turquoise lines in a sort of

herringbone pattern?

No, no, Uncle Martin. You look as handsome as you ever did.

Thank you.

Well, back to Operation De -Electrification.

You're using this to get rid of electricity?

Well, it's a well -known fact that kinetic rhythm can be accelerated by

Besides, it's much more comfortable than sitting in a straight chair.

I understand.

You know, it's a good thing the Chamber of Commerce hasn't heard about this,

because you could become a tourist attraction, like Old Faithful.

I think that remark is in questionable taste.

Well, I'm sorry, Uncle Martin. It's just that I get lightheaded in the steam

room.

What is it, Tim?

Oh,

it's nothing.

Nothing, nothing.

Speak, boy, speak, speak. I can take it.

Well, it's nothing.

You've got a little spot on your chin.

It's very small. It's infinitesimal.

I wouldn't worry about it.

Is it shaped like a globe?

Mm -hmm.

With a lot of smaller globes grouped about it?

Just as I thought.

The Saturnian Syndrome.

Oh, nonsense.

You probably just cut yourself shaving this morning.

Uh -huh. An interesting theory.

Except I didn't shave this morning.

Well, the way you've got this thing perking, you'll have it made before you

say Thomas Alva Edison.

Well, don't slow down now.

Well, perhaps some music would help me keep up the tempo. Would you mind

on the radio?

All right, how about a little rock and roll?

No, no, no, no. I'd rather have the electrodermatitis.

Perhaps something like a Sousa march would help me keep up the rhythm.

Ending in a knockout in the eighth round.

Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. I've just been handed a bulletin regarding

night's power disturbances.

The police department has requisitioned a fleet of mobile radar detection trucks

from the Signal Corps to scout the city in an all -out effort to capture the

Vandal. Now to continue with our sportcast.

Tim, with detection devices, they'll soon track me down.

Yeah, well, Uncle Martin, look, don't worry about it, because when they say

requisition, they mean they're going to pass the buck for a week or so just to

see who, uh... Who?

Who? If you're trying to imitate an owl, I'm not in the mood for bird calls.

Now, there's got to be a way out of this. All we've got to do is use our

All right, there's no way out of this. I will say, when you tackle a problem,

you have all the tenacity of a bulldog, a hysterical bulldog.

Now, look, if worse comes to worse, and they do come up here, what's to stop you

from just telling them the truth?

You mean that I'm a Martian?

That I overcharged myself by plugging into an electrical circuit? Okay, okay,

okay, that's out, that's out.

Now, wait a minute, wait a minute.

Now, if they do get your signal and they do come up here, what's to stop you

from... Then you're gone. Gone, gone.

True. But then they'd start snooping around and find the spaceship.

Then I'd never get back home.

They're gone.

All that worrying for nothing.

Officer, look at that.

That needle's practically jumping off the dial.

You know where it's coming from?

Seems to be coming from back there.

What are we waiting for?

Uncle Martin, you are too much. Now, anybody else would have panicked.

It's the sign of a superior mentality to keep one's poise in the face of

adversity.

Jumping Jupiter.

Rome is burning and I'm sitting here like Whistler's mother.

No, don't tell. I can't discharge any electricity now.

With that truck anywhere within a mile, it would be like sending an invitation

to come and get me. Well, you've got to get rid of it some way. I mean, fast.

Of course.

Perfect solution.

Tim, will you drive me? Sure, where?

Now, where is the one place that I can discharge the electricity and not create

any havoc?

Surprise me. Right back into the generator at the powerhouse.

The powerhouse? Why, you'd be putting your head right back in the lion's

Perhaps, but as you would say, it is desperation time.

If this works, it's going to make a great chapter when they write my

Uh -oh.

Problem.

Oh, that was a tough break. What do we do now?

Bye now.

Well, now where are you going?

No time for explanations. I'll see you later, I hope.

Whatever it is, it's right here over there.

You better hang on like this before it jumps right out of your hand.

Ah,

you just can't trust those mechanical gadgets.

Hi, O 'Hare of the Sun. Listen, I suppose you guys are investigating the

failure. That's right.

Oh, well, look, would you mind if I tagged along? I'd like to watch two

efficient, hard -working public servants.

Okay, with me. Get in the back of the truck. Oh, thanks. Oh, hey, if you take

any pictures, would you get the left side of my face?

My wife says I look like John Barrymore in a profile.

Would you mind sitting somewhere else? You're taking the crease out of my

trousers.

Mr. Martin, I hope you know what you're doing. This is a power company truck.

Can you think of a better way to get to the powerhouse? If it goes there.

I'd rather think it will.

Mr. Logan, Gibson reporting.

My equipment's going haywire.

I got my own troubles, Gibson.

You'd better come right back to the powerhouse and make it snappy.

Okay, Mike. Keep cruising.

Over and out.

Now, what's all this about the equipment?

Well, the meter practically blew up in my face. I dropped the police officer

down by the police station.

Let me see here.

I guess we've got enough trucks out.

You better get back on the job.

All right. As soon as I have my lunch.

So, uh, you're from the sun.

Excuse me.

Hello?

This looks like GHQ on D -Day. No one's going to get through this defense.

See, when you write your story, you might mention my military career.

I used to be a corporal in the ROTC.

I've got a photograph of myself in uniform.

Perhaps you can use it.

There.

How about that?

Well... Yes, I'll be sure and play up this angle. Well, I can see that you're

terribly busy, so I'll just wait for you outside.

That's a very recent picture, isn't it?

What about...

Hold it. That's no kind of a lunch for a working man. No, look, I feel I owe you

sort of a favor for giving me a lift down here.

There's a wonderful little diner just down the road. But I happen to like cold

fried egg sandwiches.

Well, look, look, I don't want to fail to mention you in my article, and I

want to misspell your name. Now, how is Gibson spelled? With an E or an O?

With an O.

A no?

No. O.

O.

More Gibson spell it with an E.

Not me.

If you don't believe me, I can prove it to you by looking in the telephone

directory in the phone booth right outside. What happened, lady?

Push!

with the cooperation of the power and police departments, the situation is

in hand.

Particularly noteworthy were the efforts of Homer P. Gibson, who typifies the

highest standards of a man in public service.

Well, that's the least you could do after holding him in that box.

You don't think I poured it on too thick?

Tim, as an observer of human nature, I'd say that there are only two things that

can never be poured on too thick, and this is the other one.