All language subtitles for My Favorite Martian s01e25 The Sinkable Mrs Brown

No, just a little feathering on this
end, Uncle Martin.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

You know, you could save an awful lot of
wear and tear on that finger if we'd

put a motor in here. They have invented
electricity, you know.

I should know.

After all, I was with Ben Franklin the
day he discovered it. As a matter of

fact, I was the one who gave him the
idea for the kite.

You're quite an amazing guy.

I try not to let it show.

I wish I could show my appreciation for
all you've done for me, Tim. You took me

in, you fed me, you clothed me, and now
you're helping me with the spaceship.

Well, to tell the truth, my heart really
isn't in it. You know, as soon as we

fix this spaceship, it's goodbye, Uncle
Martin.

We better change the subject, Tim.

We Martians have a habit of doing things
on a grand scale, including crying.

What is it?

A man talking to Mrs. Brown.

His mind closely resembles the downtown
freeway interchange.

Him.

He's a real estate salesman.

A real estate salesman?

But where are your tools?

Mrs. Brown, I have a confession to make.
I may have misled you a trifle. You

see, I'm not a plumber. I sell real
estate.

Real estate?

But I phone for a plumber.

Indeed you did. And fate caused you to
dial the wrong number. And it may well

have been the luckiest mistake you ever
made.

With leaky plumbing?

Leaky plumbing is only a symptom, little
lady. Only a symptom of an ailing

house. Why, this house could be crying
out for help at this very moment.

Do you realize if your plumbing is
broken down, it could well mean a number

other things are also in need of repair?

Why, your nails could be coming loose.
Your furnace wasting valuable BTUs. Your

electrical system out of control. Tell
me something.

Do your light bulbs burn out before they
should?

Well, I did have to replace two of them
just last week.

Only recently I had a client who failed
to heed that warning. And do you know

what happened?

The whole roof came a -tumbling down.

We didn't want that to happen to you,
would we, little lady?

Well, I wouldn't even want it to happen
to those other people, and I don't even

know them. Of course you wouldn't. And I
can tell just from our conversation so

far that you are too intelligent not to
get out before it's too late.

Now, I can make you an excellent deal on
this property. Of course, we needn't

mention all the little things that need
repairing.

Well, wouldn't that be dishonest?

My goodness, if this house is that bad,
I should have it condemned.

Little lady, I salute you. It is a rare
thing today to find someone with all the

womanly virtues wrapped up in such a
charming package.

However... Honesty is not the question.

At this point, there are many fine
people who would enjoy buying a broken

house like yours merely for the joy of
fixing it up. Why, it's like buying

antiques. Yes, I can see how that could
happen.

Of course, it might be wise to allow me
to do all the talking when we're showing

the property to a prospective buyer.

Oh, naturally. I've never sold antiques
before.

He's talking her into selling this
place. Oh, no.

Oh, yes.

Oh, it's hard enough finding an
apartment that'll take a dog or a pet or

but a spaceship?

We're in trouble.

Well, it's about what I expected, Mrs.
Brown, but we'll have no trouble moving

it. I'm sure I can unload it on this
couple that I have on the hook. I mean,

my list of prospects.

It'll be a fast deal. You see, your
mother is on her way in from the east

and she can move right in here. Well,
now, I hadn't really made up my mind to

sell, Mr. Dudley.

Sometimes my mind says do, then it says
don't, and sometimes it just lies there

and doesn't say anything at all. And I
don't get confused easily. Now, you know

that, Martin.

I do?

Oh.

Oh, yes, I see. Of course I do, Mrs.
Brown.

There, you see?

Well, the whole world is at your feet,
little lady. It's yours just for the

asking. You're young, attractive,
completely free and unfettered.

Do you know what I would do if I were in
your enviable position?

I would salvage what I could from this
place, take the money and travel, see

world, meet interesting people, live.

But you are not in her enviable
position, Mr. Dudley, and I hate to see

-pressure her into something that she's
going to be sorry for later.

Are you her father?

Oh, dear, no, Mr. Dudley.

Martin's just one of my tenants.

Oh, I see.

Well, this is the first time I ever
heard of a mere tenant dictating to a

landowner what she could do with her
property.

You shouldn't do that, Martin.

As I was about to say, there's nothing
like a world tour to make one feel

And as it so happens, I can make you an
excellent deal.

You see, my brother -in -law operates a
travel agency.

Let's see.

You'd leave New York on the Queen Mary,
first class, of course. In a few days,

you arrive in London. And then we could
route you direct to Paris. Or, if you

prefer, we could arrange a side trip to
Ireland, Scotland, Wales.

Mrs. Brown, I would worry about your
making a trip like that.

Why? Don't you think I'm old enough to
take care of myself?

No, no, it isn't that.

Mr. O 'Hara, I don't want to ask you to
mind your own business, but would you?

What's best for Mrs. Brown is our
business.

Now, why don't we all stop trying to
influence her and let Mrs. Brown make up

her own mind as to what is best for her?
Oh, I'd like that.

I must insist, little lady, you first
think about your own happiness.

Well, now, that's just the trouble. I
don't know whether I'd be happy in all

those countries.

I'd be a foreigner.

Perhaps you're right.

How about a nice leisurely tour through
the United States?

See America first.

Now, I can make you an excellent deal on
a new or practically new car. Or, if

you prefer, I could arrange a bus tour
at a ridiculously low figure.

It just happens to have a nephew who
owns the bus company.

That's right. And from here I could
route you direct to the Grand Canyon

we would... How did you know about my
nephew?

Well, you just look like a man whose
nephew owns the bus company.

Well, I don't think I'd be interested in
a bus anyway, Mr. Dudley. I still have

my Edso.

Mr. Dudley, do you happen to know where
I can get some good rat poison cheap?

Now, just a moment.

May I straighten you out? I didn't call
Mrs.

Brown. She called me. I have half a mind
to call you something myself.

When you find a whole mind, try it.

You can't talk to my uncle like that.

I wish you gentlemen wouldn't fight over
me.

You're perfectly right, little lady. My
humble apologies.

I'll be over later with Mr. and Mrs.
Graham.

They're the couple that I told you about
earlier. I'm sure this place will meet

with their approval.

Oh, by the way, you do have a garage.
Oh, you parked in front of it. Oh, yes.

Well, you see, Mr. Graham has a rather
large workshop, so I'm sure he'll be

particularly anxious to see the garage.

Well, don't you think you ought to get
started if you're going to do what you

said?

Not till I have to. This isn't going to
be easy, Tim.

Oh, that's what worries me.

Don't you think you're taking an awful
chance with that spaceship? What else

I do? These people simply must not see
it. That's our immediate problem.

Well, if Mrs. Brown sells her house,
we're going to have an even bigger

You realize, of course, that that ship
is a white elephant.

Not exactly.

If it were, I couldn't have flown it
here from Mars.

Tim, you worry too much and too soon. In
the first place, Mrs. Brown has not

sold the house yet. And in the second
place, even if she does, we'll still

time enough to look for... Condition
red.

Dudley and his clients are just turning
the corner of Elm and Hillhurst.

What's new that for?

Mrs. Brown, away from here.

Oh, Tim, I was just coming up to ask
you. If I have to go into escrow, would

look after things while I'm gone?

Oh, yes, of course, Mrs. Brown. Let's
talk about it inside. All right.

You must be using cheap gas.

I have enough trouble driving forwards.

seen anything like that?

Rarely.

Imagine that.

That's fantastic.

I must have gotten my gears mixed up.
But you must admit I didn't get mixed up

about the property, did I? Did you ever
see a house more ideally suited to your

needs? Step this way, please.

You couldn't find another place closer
to what you want, even if you built it

yourselves. Welcome to your future home,
Mrs. Graham.

Is it always this dark?

Not in the daytime.

This is Mrs. Brown, folks, the owner of
the property. And these are the very

charming people I was telling you about.

Graham's the name. How do you do?

Graham. Oh, O 'Hara.

Mrs. Graham, this is Mrs. Brown.

How do you do?

Mrs. Graham, this is Mr.

O 'Hara, one of Mrs. Brown's tenants.

How do you do?

Oh, and this is another Mr.

O 'Hara.

Uh, Martin O 'Hara.

Graham's the name.

Martin, very pleased to meet you.

Well,

now that everybody knows everybody,
shall we take a look at the house?

Wouldn't you like to look at the garage
first since it's open and everything?

Later.

I'm sorry, Uncle Martin. I tried.

I know you did, Tim.

And I appreciate it.

How long do you keep that thing up
there?

Well, I'd hate to try to set an
endurance record.

That's just dead weight hanging up
there.

Uncle Mark, maybe you could ease it down
on the roof.

It's too heavy.

Might crash through the shingles.

Spend all night in there?

Well, if they do, when they come out,
they'll find a crushed Martian.

And as you can see, the house has just
been painted and thoroughly redecorated.

Yes, just a little over three years ago.

As I said, it was practically just
painted and redecorated. But it's such a

ghastly color.

Oh, the color's no problem at all, Mrs.
Graham. As you can see, I have this

cousin who's a painter and decorator. I
can make you a sensational deal.

Don't bother. I'm in that business
myself.

Wouldn't you like to see the garage now,
Mr. Dudley?

Later.

Upstairs, folks.

Right this way.

The only thing left to see is the
garage.

That's right. That ain't necessary.

I know what a garage looks like.

We'll come back and look at it in the
daylight.

Pleasure, O 'Hara.

Still hurt, Uncle Martin? Mm -hmm.

Up to here.

I've got this insured on Mars, but how
am I going to collect for it?

Reminds me, I have a second cousin on my
mother's side who sells insurance.

Well, that guy Dudley really has us in a
bind.

Well, it isn't us I'm worried about.

It's Mrs. Brown.

If he sells her on some wild idea for
spending the money from the house, it

really be her future she's spending.
He's shrewd, that boy.

He knows that you Earth people are
basically improvident.

Well, don't look at me. I have nothing
to be improvident with.

Yes, but the tendency is there. And
that's what he's counting on with Mrs.

Brown. That tendency that you all have
to live it up today and let tomorrow

care of itself.

You always seem to forget that tomorrow
inevitably becomes today and you have to

go right on living.

I noticed this shortcoming on one of my
very first trips to your planet. And I

pointed it out to my friend Aesop as a
theme for one of his fables.

Uncle Martin, look.

We are both agreed that Mrs. Brown
shouldn't sell her property or spend her

money on a trip or something. But the
question still is, what can we do about

it? Nothing.

Dudley is absolutely right.

We have no right to interfere.

Uncle Martin.

Uncle Martin, I have a great idea.

Now, if we could get... That won't work,
Tim.

Well, how about this? No, that won't
work either, Tim.

Uncle Martin, will you please just let
me finish one thought before you reach

and pluck it out of my mind? Sometimes I
don't even know what I'm going to say

until I say it.

I'm sorry, Tim.

Go and open the door, will you? What?

Mrs. Brown is coming up the stairs.

Oh, well.

Come on in, Mrs. Brown. Oh, thank you. I
was anxious to catch you before you

went to work.

Oh, Martin, did you hurt yourself?

Well, it's nothing serious, Mrs. Brown.
It's just that I have a hangnail. Oh,

dear, those can be very painful,
especially when you get them on the

Uh -huh.

Did you want to see me?

Oh, I didn't sleep a wink last night.

Oh, I'm sorry.

What was troubling you, Mrs. Brown?

Well, if I sell my house, I'll never see
you boys again.

I got to thinking about what Mr. Dudley
said, and he was right. I should

consider my own happiness first, and I
wouldn't be happy if you boys moved away

and I wasn't here either.

Tim and I both share your sentiment,
Mrs. Brown.

We've grown very fond of you as a
person.

Well, does that mean that you don't want
to sell your house?

Well, then there's no problem. You don't
have to sell it if you don't want to.

But I signed a paper, and I paid Mr.
Dudley $100 advance on the commission.

I'm afraid our Mr. Dudley is not very
representative of the real estate

business. Isn't he bringing the Grahams
back to look at the place?

This afternoon.

Hmm, there's an excellent feature at
Grauman's Chinese.

Why don't you go to the matinee?

But I wouldn't be here to show them the
house.

That's right.

Mrs.

Brown asked me to show you the house,
folks. She was called away unexpectedly.

Well, thank you.

Hi.

Never mind. I know my way around. Mrs.
Brown wanted me to show you. All right,

show us, but be quiet.

Mrs.

Graham, I ask you, have you ever seen
more spacious, better arranged

Yes.

Perhaps you didn't notice, but these
cupboards are a full three inches deeper

than average.

Mrs. Brown had them built that way to
accommodate her large platters.

That's a good idea.

They're very nice.

Did Mrs. Brown tell you about the sink
counter?

She recently had the entire unit
rebuilt.

More cupboard space underneath and a new
disposal unit.

I know Mrs. Brown intended to call a
plumber.

What she needs is a piano tuner.

That's very interesting.

Used to play the Blue Danube.

Nothing to be concerned about, folks.
Half a dozen washes from the dime store

will fix it. Right, this way. Let's look
at the rest of the house. This way. Mr.

Graham, your dawdling.

Oh, I meant to ask Mrs. Brown last night
about the television reception here.

Oh, well, I happen to know this whole
area gets the finest reception in town.

Isn't that right?

I think we can say the reception is, uh,
unique.

What's wrong with it? We seem to be in
some strange electronic pocket here,

where we get the sound on one channel
and the picture on another.

Certainly it can be fixed.

Oh, it has been fixed.

We used to get the police calls, too.

Oh, yes. Well, one feature I do want to
remind you of are the closets. Now, in a

house this size, you must admit there is
an abundance of closet space. Excuse

me, just a minute.

If there's one thing I can't abide, it's
a crooked picture.

crooked last night.

Well, maybe we had a slight earthquake.
I seem to remember something waking me

up last night.

Emily, watch.

Why did you do that, Edgar?

This whole house is out of plumb.

What does that mean?

It means that Mr. Dudley here and Mrs.
Brown were trying to put over a fast

The foundation is sinking on one whole
side of this place.

Mrs. Graham, wait. I have another place
I know you'll like. Huh.

What shall I tell Mrs. Brown?

You can tell Mrs.

Brown that I wouldn't handle this
property under any circumstances.

And you can give her this.

Oh, I would like to also give her back
the $100.

what happened to mr dudley i phoned to
thank him for everything but he isn't

there any longer oh i understand he went
into the plumbing business with his

sister oh that reminds me that was a
good show i saw it was all about this

who had trouble making up her mind but
she had two friends who helped her that

sounds familiar except she was so
strange do you suppose there really are

like that i wouldn't be surprised

Well, I don't know. I don't think I'd
care to know her personally. She was so

scatterbrained. Oh, I'm sure she has a
good many redeeming qualities.

I'm sure she does.

Does that sound to you like the Blue
Danube?