All language subtitles for My Favorite Martian s01e21 Hitchhike to Mars

Which section would you like?
International, national, state, county,

the comic page?

Tim,

listen to this.

Intergalaxy Corporation announced today
that an instrument -bearing rocket it

has perfected for the Outer Space Agency
is ready for a takeoff to Mars.

Oh, boy, those scientists. You know, I
still have trouble changing my

ribbon.

A rocket to Mars.

Don't you realize what this means to me?

A way to get home.

Oh, you're putting me on.

Now, come on, Uncle Martin.

Hitchhike to Mars?

Well, you've got to admit, it beats
walking.

As soon as the rocket gets within a
thousand miles of home, I can hop out

catch a local space bus.

If my calculations are correct, and the
rocket does take off in the next couple

of days, I'll get home just in time for
Mother and Dad's golden anniversary.

Hey, 50 years.

Well, that's a long time.

Tim, on Mars, the first 50 years,
couples are still opening wedding

The golden anniversary is the 500th.

Well, it must be very touching to hear a
man say, Darling, you don't look a

century older than the day we met.

Hey, you didn't read all of this.

However, Intergalaxy Corporation
indicated the Mars shot may be bypassed

favor of a Venus probe.

Go to Venus instead of Mars?

Unthinkable. Well, maybe you could just
tell them that it's your parents'

anniversary.

Tim, I'm not thinking of myself alone.
That would be selfish.

Your government undoubtedly has a great
deal of money invested in this venture.

And besides, there is nothing on Venus
to justify the effort to explore it.

Is Venus that bad?

There's nothing there but clouds of
dust, lots of gases with foul odors, a

little carbon dioxide, and lots of
carbon monoxide.

Well, look.

The Intergalaxy Corporation has one of
two choices. It can go to Mars or it can

go to Venus. Now you've got a 50 -50
chance.

A 50 -50 chance.

Where are we going?

To see if we can improve those odds in
our favor.

Mr. Buckley, a couple of reporters from
the Los Angeles Sun are here to see you.

Oh, thank you, Miss Maxwell.

Show them in.

Come in, gentlemen.

Mr. Buckley, I'm O 'Hara of the Los
Angeles Sun, and this is my

Mr. Martin.

Sit down, gentlemen.

Always happy to talk to members of the
press.

Oh, take as many pictures as you want.
Just be sure the name Intergalaxy

Corporation shows up nice and clear in
anything you take.

You made the right decision sending the
first rocket to Mars.

Well, I must say there are many
persuasive reasons for going to Mars.

An excellent decision.

Well, thanks for the interview.

On the other hand, there are just as
many reasons for going to Venus.

For almost as many reasons.

I've been reading so many reports
lately, my eyes are beginning to play

on me.

Yes, well, I don't know what those
reports say, but I have it on good

from those who know their planets that
it's Mars 9 to 1. Well, as the insiders

say, why go to Coney Island when you can
go to the Riviera?

Well, curiously enough, that's what many
of our scientists say, in more

scientific language, of course.

That's an interesting watch you have
there, Mr. Buckley.

Oh, thank you. I bought it at...
Goodness, I didn't realize it was this

Excuse me, gentlemen. I have to rush off
to an 11 .15 meeting. Stay if you like.

11 .15?

I've got a... I wanted a little privacy
to check the accommodations for my trip.

Not that I mind putting up with a few
inconveniences. Yeah, especially at the

prices you're paying.

I imagine they keep the blueprints and
that's safe.

Uncle Martin, you're not thinking of
blowing the safe.

With my Martian powers, why go to all
that trouble?

Besides, I hate loud noises.

Plenty of room if I don't put on any
weight between now and flight time.

I'm surprised they didn't include a
magnetic oscilloscope.

Well, as long as it has a radio and
heater, who cares?

Your association with me has done
absolutely nothing for you. It's a pity.

magnetic oscilloscope would give you
people invaluable data on the infrared

density on the Martian surface.

Uncle Martin, I hope you are not
building yourself up for a big letdown.

know, Mr. Buckley hasn't made a decision
yet.

You forget that one of my minor
accomplishments is the ability to read

Believe me, he made up his mind a week
ago to send the rocket to Mars. Well,

didn't he say so? Has the cat got his
tongue?

No,

the cat does not have his tongue.

But he is afflicted with an occupational
disease known as executive jitters.

Well, I don't blame him. You know,
there's an old saying which says...

If you cannot make a decision, you
cannot make a mistake. And if you don't

mistakes, you don't make progress.

Besides, his decision to send the rocket
to Mars is not a mistake.

Yeah, well, I hope he gets off the dime
pretty soon, because if he doesn't,

you're not going to be able to go back
and celebrate with your folks back on

Mars with their favorite son and my
favorite Marshal.

Oh, I'm sorry, gentlemen.

Oh, what's the matter? Is the meeting
over already?

No, it hasn't even started yet.

I don't understand my watch being a half
hour fast.

Never happened before.

Well, where were we, gentlemen?

Oh, Tim was just about to mention his
paper's Executive of the Year Award.

I was?

I'm afraid I'm not acquainted with your
Executive Award.

Well, it is an honor bestowed upon the
man who typifies the highest ideal

of the American leader of industry.

Oh, yes.

Strong in personality, forceful in
character, decisive in action. A man who

make momentous decisions like that.

Unfortunately, the nominations for the
award this year are about to close.

Miss Maxwell?

Yes, sir? Get me the Vandenberg Air Base
immediately.

Gentlemen, this has nothing whatever to
do with any honors that may be conferred

upon me, but I have just made my
decision.

About the rocket?

Our first shot will be to Mars.

Gentlemen,

who knows?

Before long, our rockets may be carrying
passengers to Mars.

It may be sooner than you think.

Yes, I can just see the headlines now.

Top exec says, Mars or bust.

A decision was made by J .M. Buckley
this 13th day of... Is today the 13th?

Yes, it's Friday the 13th.

Friday the 13th. Oh, no wonder my watch
went haywire.

I have Vandenberg on the line.

Never mind, never mind. Just cancel the
call.

Now, he became a different man the
moment he found out what day it is.

I'm not surprised.

You mean he always comes unglued on
Friday the 13th?

And when he sees a black cat?

And when he walks under a ladder?

I shudder to think what would happen if
he ever broke a mirror.

He's a kook.

Would you believe it? He goes to the
same restaurant every day for lunch.

A place where the food is mediocre,
prices outrageous, and the waiters push

around. I'll hate myself for asking, but
why does he go there?

Because it's called the Lucky Shamrock
Cafe.

Why else?

You heard people.

You've come so far from the cave, and
yet in many ways you're as superstitious

as primitive aborigines. Oh, well, don't
look at me. I haven't got a

superstitious bone in my body.

Bread and butter.

Well, all right, but look, I didn't
crack up just because it's Friday the

As a matter of fact, this is my lucky
day.

Too bad Mr. Buckley doesn't think it's
his. Right now I'd be pasting Mars

stickers on my luggage.

Tim, superstition is all in the mind.

Now, what's to stop him from thinking
that Friday the 13th... is his lucky

Hmm. Well, that'll be a nice trek, if
you can do it.

How would you care for a spot of lunch?

I know a wonderful place where the food
is mediocre, the price is outrageous,

and the waiters push you around.

It was very nice of you to share your
table with us, Mr. Buckley. Oh, the

pleasure is mine.

But tell me, how did you happen to find
the lucky shamrock?

Well, you see, I... Well, he hates to
admit it, you see, but he insisted on

eating here because of the name of the
place. He feels it will bring him luck

next time he goes to the track.

Oh, no, Tim, that's not quite true. I,
uh...

You see, uh, Martin won't even get out
of bed in the morning until he's checked

his horoscope, just to make sure that
it's safe.

Well, I don't have to check it this
morning. Today is my lucky day.

Did I hear you correctly?

You consider Friday the 13th a lucky
day?

Of course.

Now, I know that over the years it has
acquired an unsavory connotation, but

ancient civilizations regarded the day
as a symbol of good luck.

Really? In fact... The Phoenicians had a
saying.

On Friday 13th, fish for flounder, sure
to catch plump 50 -pounder.

That must have lost something in the
translation.

Scoffer.

He doesn't even believe in the Incan
mystique of numbers.

Well, I'm afraid I'm not acquainted with
it myself.

Oh, well, then let me explain it to you.

You see, you're supposed to count the
number of items on your plate. Now, if

that coincides with the day of the
month...

You're very lucky.

Sounds very interesting.

Thirteen.

How did this get here?

Probably dropped off the waiter's tray.

But since fate seems to have meant it
for you, well...

This is your lucky day.

Big decisions will turn out well.

Uncanny.

Yes, it's almost as though someone were
trying to tell you something.

Gentlemen,

if you'll excuse me, I have to return to
the office.

But if you care to drop by about two o
'clock, I may have an interesting

announcement to make.

You can alert Mr. B. We have a two o
'clock appointment.

Well, I'm sorry, but he's canceled it.
But he couldn't have. He said he had an

important announcement.

Well, that was before he found out he'd
lost his lucky rabbit's foot.

Excuse me.

Well, that tears it.

Where is it?

Where is it?

It can't be lost.

Let's see.

He had the rabbit's foot when he left
the house this morning.

He had it at the corner of Wilshire and
Westwood when he almost ran into that

bus. He had it when he walked around the
desk three times.

Counterclockwise, no doubt.

Still had it at the restaurant.

Didn't have it when he got back here.

Let's go.

Uh, Mr. Buckley was sitting over there,
and we think that he might have lost his

good luck charm here.

Oh, good luck charm.

Well, the busboy swept right after
lunch. Now, you might find it in the

right through that door.

Any luck?

No.

I'm afraid that idea's shot.

What did you say?

I didn't say anything.

I wasn't talking to you. I was talking
to him.

Oh, hello, Herbie.

He says his name is Herbie.

He said?

Oh, that's right. Yeah, I keep
forgetting you can talk to animals.

Well, it's really just a matter of the
ear becoming attuned to their vocal

range. Now, cats talk in delicate
shadings of the diatonic scale, very

to Mandarin Chinese.

Well, I knew there was a catch to it.

Now, Herbie, I'd like to ask you a
question, if you don't mind.

Have you seen a rabbit's foot around
here anywhere?

Well, could you tell us where it is?

Oh,

now, Herbie, that's not fair.

That's taking advantage of the
situation.

What did he say?

He won't tell us where it is unless we
give him a bribe.

Well, how do you like that? I've heard
of blackmail, but catmail? That's

ridiculous.

Tim, he may be on a barrel, but he's got
us over one.

Waiter!

Hey, did you find what you were looking
for?

I wonder if I could ask you to do me a
favor.

All right, what is it?

That's a very charming cat you have
there. I love cats.

Now, simply on a whim of mine, instead
of feeding the cat raw liver, would you

mind sautéing it?

Sure.

Oh, sure.

with some mushrooms and a dash of
burgundy.

Oh, yes, and would you stir in a
soussant of sour cream? The cat happens

quite a gourmet.

Figures.

But does the cat know how much it's
going to cost?

Well, will this take care of it for a
month?

Hey, are you guys in some kind of an
expense account?

Because you sure know how to spend it.

Uh,

you're pretty generous with my money,
Charlie.

Well, now, isn't it worth $10 to get rid
of me?

All right, Herbie. Now, where's the
rabbit's foot?

All right, Herbie.

That's dirty pool. Now, why didn't you
tell us that you chewed that thing up

before you made the deal?

He says he may be a cat, but he's not a
stupid cat.

Tim, did it ever occur to you that one
rabbit's foot is very similar to

You know, that's a pretty good paint
job.

Yeah, it's a good thing I was able to
reconstruct the design from the remains

Excuse me

If that fan hadn't gone berserk, I...
Oh, Mr. Maxwell, get Vandenberg Air Base

at once.

Alert them for a launching Sunday
morning.

We're shooting to Mars and...

Mission accomplished?

A strange question to ask of a Martian.

Naturally. Oh, that's a relief.

And since Intergalaxy Corporation is
nice enough to give me a free ride, I

return the favor. I left a suggestion to
add a magnetic oscilloscope to their

equipment.

You sure you can spare this car?

No, but you will be my guest.

Isn't it a little warm, though, this
time of year? Well, for California, but

for Mars. By the time I get there, it'll
be winter.

I can't wait to see that lovely emerald
green snow.

Green snow?

Only in the early part of the winter.
Later on, we get the regular snow.

Orange mingled with a beautiful blue.

Well, Uncle Martin, look, I certainly
hope you won't be too disappointed if it

doesn't work out. You know, you tried
this before, and it didn't work.

Yes, but that's because I was trying to
do it solo.

This time, I've got a couple of
partners.

A multi -million dollar corporation and
the U .S. government.

Now, hold it. Hold it.

I got a little something for you here.

Something you've always wanted to wear,
but never had the nerve.

Well, I'll be the sharpest Martian on
Galaxy Boulevard.

That's like your Hollywood and Vine,
without all the cars running in front of

you.

There's a little something for you. I
want you to have it to remember your

Martin by.

I...

Ah.

Vivaldi's Concerti Grosso for strings
and clavichord.

You're not going to cry, are you?

No, no.

You're not going to start, are you?

Well, I wouldn't dare.

If a Martian lets go, it's like opening
a dam.

And I thought you told me that none of
your people were sentimental.

Well, since I'm leaving, I may as well
be truthful.

In interplanetary circles, we are known
as the Maudlin Martians.

Well, uh, thanks for getting me in here,
Mr. Buckley. Oh, my pleasure.

Isn't Mr. Martin covering this story
with you?

No, no. Right now, he's practically on
his way to visit his folks.

They live out of town?

Well, they're out of this world.

Out of this world?

Yes. Well, if you'd like to watch the
launching from the control tower with

I can arrange it with the general.

No, no, no. Launchings always make me
emotional.

Well, good luck with your shot.

I'm not worried.

We can't miss.

The terminal countdown will commence in
ten seconds.

Goodbye, Uncle Martin.

This is it.

Here we go, Uncle Martin.

Fasten your seatbelt.

Ten, nine...

Eight. Seven.

If your ears start popping, chew gum.

Three. Two.

One. Ignition.

the successful Mars shot.

The rocket is right on course and is now
50 ,000 miles in outer space.

Good old Uncle Martin.

Gone, but not forgotten.

be here.

You're 50 ,000 miles away.

Correction. The rocket is.

But I saw you get on.

Correction again. You saw a panel open.

There wasn't enough room in that rocket
to swing a cat. If our friend Herbie

will pardon the expression.

Well, you saw the blueprints. You said
there was plenty of space.

Well, there was.

Until some idiot suggested that they
include a magnetic oscilloscope.

Well, wait a minute.

You were the idiot.

Well, no, no. I mean... Well, why did
you suggest it if you knew it would take

up so much room?

Tim, on Mars, we can put ten magnetic
oscilloscopes in a peanut.

I keep forgetting that you Earth people
are still in the Stone Age.

Well, Mars loss is my game.

Well, welcome back.

Oh, one thing, though. It's too bad
you're going to miss your parents'

wedding anniversary.

Hmm. It is disappointing.

But after all, their diamond anniversary
is practically around the corner. Just

250 years away.