Original subtitles

Hey, that's not bad.

That's not bad at all.

Whose style are you using?

Rembrandt?

Picasso?

Modigliani? Van Gogh. Oh, you knew him, too?

Knew him? Who do you think told him to cut off his ear for his sweetheart?

He's got a lot to learn about being a friend. Well, I did it for his own good.

He wanted to cut off his nose.

Poor guy was really feeling down, huh?

Yeah, he's not the only one.

Oh, come on, Uncle Martin. No, I've asked you. Please snap out of it.

Oh, Tim, how do you think I feel?

You've extended yourself on my behalf, and I can't raise a dime in

Oh, forget it.

Well, it isn't right. It isn't right for you to carry the whole load.

Uncle Martin, look.

Someday when the Crosstown bus goes into orbit, I will visit your planet, and

you can show me some good old -fashioned Martian hospitality.

Now, will you please go back to your penny and come on, cheer up.

I'll try.

I thought you were going to paint.

Oh. Oh, I am.

You are a great painter.

Yes, but my wallet is empty.

Well, who's counting?

I'll see you later.

Thanks.

Great painter.

If I were a great painter, I could... sell my paintings and I could

Just look at the integrity that went into that painting, madam.

You can almost smell the roses.

Look, mister, when I see what I want, I'll let you know. I don't like a pushy

art dealer.

May I help you, sir?

Yes, I'm looking for Mr. Green.

Don't tell me. I know.

You're an artist and want to sell me that painting. My eagerness gave me

The hungry look on your face.

Oh, well, I'll have to eat a double breakfast tomorrow morning.

It can't be.

There's only one Van Gogh.

Yes, I have attempted to copy his style, I admit.

Why, this could have been painted by Van Gogh himself.

The same bold strokes, the same fire.

Yes, I remember Vincent telling me... Vincent?

Uh, Vincent Pasquale.

He's my butcher.

This painting, Mr... O 'Hara. It's signed in the lower right -hand corner.

painting has depth and meaning.

Thank you. I remember da Vinci saying, depth and meaning.

Tony da Vinci. He's a friend of Vincent Pasquale's.

I'd like to sell this painting for you.

I think you have something to say as an artist.

And if I can help further your career... I feel I was contributing to society.

Thank you very much, Mr. Green. That's a marvelous attitude.

I'll divide the proceeds with you.

Is that fair?

That's very fair. Thank you very much.

Mr.

Green, why don't you offer that lady my painting? I have a feeling she'll like

it.

Listen, I'm in a hurry and I can't get that door open, so would you...

Just the right thing for a bedroom, I'd say.

That's just what I was thinking.

But in all fairness, madam, I wouldn't suggest this painting unless your

bedspread were baby blue with fringes of yellow.

Well, that's just what it is.

How much?

I'm not spending a dollar over 40. As it is, I'll have to tell my husband I

bought it for less.

Forty dollars?

Madam, artists are human beings.

My husband isn't.

Very well.

Forty dollars.

Thank you, madam. Don't mention it.

Mr.

O 'Hara, it looked as though you were reading that woman's mind.

How hard it is to read a blank.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

Your paintings are moving wonderfully.

How soon can you let me have some more?

Quite soon.

Mr. O 'Hara, I can't tell you how excited I am to think that I've been

instrumental in some small way of bringing you to the attention of the

Goodbye for now.

Goodbye, and thank you very much.

me a Gainsborough for my bathroom.

Madam, Mr. O 'Hara is not a bathroom painter.

He's a great craftsman, and I intend to encourage him.

Why, I'm going to surprise him with a showing of his own paintings.

A showing?

For whom?

O 'Hara.

You see, this art dealer I know called to ask me a favor to include a piece in

our art column about a new find of his, an artist named O 'Hara, and I wondered

if it was any relation.

Well, did this man, uh... Happen to mention O 'Hara's first name?

All Green said was that the artist's name was O 'Hara. You know, this last

stuff only for artists like Rembrandt, Van Gogh, Lautrec.

Any relation?

No, Mr. Burns. No, there's no Lautrecs in my family.

Oh, come on. I meant, is this O 'Hara artist related to you?

Well, I have a large family tree. You know, maybe one of the twigs fell off

branch. How can you have a showing?

I mean, I mean, all...

People asking questions.

Now, what are you going to tell them? Well, I paint like Rembrandt because I'm

450 years old and I come from Mars.

That would raise a few eyebrows, wouldn't it?

Eyebrows? It would raise scalps.

Well, I had no idea Mr. Green was planning a showing for me.

None of this would have happened if you hadn't insisted on helping me with the

expenses.

That proves it.

Proves what?

That the road to Pluto is paved with good intentions.

Well, down here, that road leads somewhere else.

Will you stop painting?

Look what you did.

Uh -oh.

What? It's him. Who?

The little man who's innocently boiling me in oil.

I just have to come over personally to surprise you.

Guess what?

What?

You are having a showing of your work at my gallery tomorrow.

And Mr.

Bentley, the great art expert of them all, has agreed to come.

Mr. Bentley? Yes.

If he gives you his stamp of approval, you're on your way.

I'm on my way right now.

Oh, Tim, Tim, I want you to meet Mr. Green.

Mr. Green, this is my nephew, Tim, the real artist who painted all the

you admire so much. You do?

Yes, it's not I, but my talented nephew who's at ease at the easel. No, no,

no, don't deny it, Tim. I can't take credit for something I did not do.

I don't understand.

You said that you did the painting. Well, I'm afraid I was trying to bask in

spotlight of my nephew, Mr. Green. I understand, but if he's your nephew...

can at least stand in the shadow of greatness.

Well, it was almost the truth, anyway.

The painting's assigned by O 'Hara, and this is the real O 'Hara. Eh, Tim? Oh,

my... You see how modest he is?

Tim, this is your big chance.

Oh, I pass. No, no, no, no.

But you just have to have that showing.

I've invited everyone.

After all these years, to think that I, personally, have discovered a great

genius. Be at ease, Mr. Green.

My nephew, the painter, will be there tomorrow to take his vows and stand

proudly beside his paintings.

It was a lucky day for me when your uncle walked into my life.

I shall never forget it.

Neither will I.

Sam!

Sam, now you come out of that closet!

and no one will know that you didn't paint those paintings.

I told you, I am not here!

Tim!

All right, Tim, I'm going to leave and you will never be bothered by me again.

Uncle Martin?

Uncle Martin?

art show tonight.

Tim, when are you earthlings going to learn that man's most precious commodity

is his dignity, his pride?

Would you rob a nice little man like Mr. Green of his supreme moment? Would you

deprive him of introducing to the world a great artist?

You make it sound as though I were walking around kicking little puppies.

Well, until you earth people learn to respect the finer aspects of mankind,

you're going to remain exactly what you are, a bunch of two -legged mental

midgets.

You want me to go stand in the corner?

No, stand tall.

Uncle Martin, I do not know the first thing about art. Now, suppose somebody

walks up to me and asks me a question.

Don't answer and look intelligent.

Oh, that'll never work. Of course it will. All you have to do is look like a

genius. Like this.

Marvelous display of color.

What colors did you mix?

Brown, yellow, and green, diluted to a thin perfection.

It was so nice of you to come.

Mr. Bentley, here is my talented discovery.

Oh, we are in the presence of genius.

That remains to be seen.

Do you doubt that the artist who fathered these paintings is endowed with

genius, sir?

Not at all. That's why I was being careful.

couldn't quite understand Mr. Bentley's reluctance to be persuaded so rapidly.

After all, when Mr.

Bentley puts his stamp of approval on an artist, he's accepted as a major talent

by the world.

Uh, come on, Uncle Martin, you want to take me home? I had a rough day at the

easel. Oh, come now, don't tell us that, uh, our genius doubts his talent?

My nephew is insulted, and rightly so, that you have cast aspersions on the

of O 'Hara.

Oh, not at all, sir.

But since the name O 'Hara is on all of these marvelous paintings, how indeed

can we tell that one man painted them all?

Let's go put my brushes to bed. No, no, no.

Mr. Bentley, there are those who say that Shakespeare did not author his

works, and even those who doubt that the world was made in six days.

Oh, were you there, sir? I was.

That is, I was about to say that one man did paint all of these paintings, and I

can, that is, he can prove it.

I'm sure that Mr.

O 'Hara understands your skepticism, Mr. Bentley, but the solution is quite

simple. It is?

Why, yes.

You can paint in the style of the masters before his very eyes.

Well, that seems like a very fair test.

We accept.

And what's more, he'll do five paintings at once.

Oh, I'm so proud of you. Eight o 'clock tomorrow night, here.

Mr. O 'Hara will be here.

And can hardly wait.

You're very lucky, young man. Most of the masters died before they had a

to prove their talent.

Lucky. I mean, it's lucky that I'm alive.

The name of O 'Hara the artist will live forever.

Thank you.

paint five pictures for Mr. Bentley when I can't even paint at all?

Well, let's see.

Just because I'm holding a brush doesn't mean that... Hey,

you're controlling my hand.

No, I'm actually controlling the brush.

You're just going along for the ride.

I'm a painter.

I'm a painter.

That's what we're going to prove to Mr. Bentley.

Well, don't stop now, Uncle Martin. Come on. I want to see what picture's going

to be.

That's right, Tim. You're in command here. You're going to be... great.

Getting a cold?

I don't know. I suddenly started getting stuffy. Ah,

genius. I have five easels set up for you. Ah, splendid.

There's Mr. O 'Hara, darling.

And you said he wouldn't show up.

Frankly, my dear, I didn't think he would.

Well, did Robert Fulton show up?

Mr. Green, will you take us to the easels, please?

Right this way.

Twig off the branch, eh?

Yeah.

Mr. Burns, what are you doing here?

He's an art lover.

I'm an art lover. And he's curious about the name O 'Hara. And I'm curious.

Ah, just a lucky guess.

Tim, is that why you were so evasive back at my office? Why didn't you tell

that you were the O 'Hara that Green was raving about?

Oh, well, I... Don't tell me. I know. You want to quit your job.

I want to quit my job?

I don't blame you, my boy. Anyone who can paint like you should devote all his

time to art.

Uncle Martin.

Don't say it. I know. I just read your mind.

Such language.

What am I going to do? If I don't go through with this, I'm going to disgrace

nice Mr. Green. If I do go through with it, I lose my job.

Well, I'll say you're in a pickle.

And you marinated me.

I like the way you turn a phrase.

What am I going to do?

You'll see.

Now, I will leave it to Mr.

Bentley to choose which artists I should emulate.

Rembrandt, Lautrec, Picasso, Gauguin, and Van Gogh.

Child's play.

Ladies and gentlemen, but I must take a moment to reflect before I jump in.

Our genius seems reluctant.

What's holding us up? My battery's dead.

What?

Can't you hear how nasal I sound? I'm allergic to something in this room, and

can't use my limitation finger. Well, why not?

Well, my sensitivity's all fouled up. Well, unfoul it. Have you seen that

of vultures out there?

Well, I can't unfoul it, not until I find... find out what I'm sensitive to,

then I gotta get rid of it. Well, what am I gonna do?

Stall. What? Stall.

Stall. Stall.

Stall. Stall.

I never should have gotten out of the closet.

Well, now, I suppose you're all wondering about me.

Ah, who I am, where I was born. Well, that's only natural.

I was born in Toledo.

I was a very healthy baby.

I was six pounds and nine ounces.

I was at nine pounds and six ounces.

Is that really important?

Well, most of my mother.

Darling, I think you were right after all.

It certainly appears that way.

Tim, start painting.

I remember now, yes. It was six pounds and nine ounces. Of course, I got a

little bit bigger as my formula changed.

It won't be long now, folks.

Now, where was I?

I believe you were on your formula. And I believe we're meeting.

You can't. You just can't. What are you doing?

Oh, madam, one of Mr. O 'Hara's intentions is to...

Paint you in the style of Van Gogh, didn't he tell you?

What has that got to do with your taking my flower?

Now, madam, don't be modest.

Mr. O 'Hara knows that a subject with such character and beauty would never

allow herself to be painted with a flower.

After all, why divert the observer?

Why compete with nature?

Are you really going to paint me in Van Gogh's style?

I mean, yes, I... Young man, you have stalled long enough.

I never really did think he had any talent. I believe that Mr. O 'Hara is

ready to show you that he's loaded with talent.

Rather jerky style.

Who knows how a genius paints Mr. Bentley.

Why, he's doing it.

I see it, but I...

my boy.

Amazing.

Gauguin, Van Gogh, Picasso, Lautrec, Rembrandt.

What did you expect, sir?

Chopped liver? I am an artist.

I envy you your moment, Mr. Green. You've given the world a major talent.

I have been privileged.

Something always told me Tim was great.

No more newspaper work for you, eh, genius?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's great.

But our genius has saved the best news for last. Tell them, Tim.

Well, I, uh... You tell them, Uncle Morton. You have all inspired himself

my nephew has reached a cataclysmic decision.

Do tell us.

Still shy.

Tim has decided that he no longer wishes to imitate the masters.

He is forsaking imitation forever.

has decided to strike out on his own to develop his own unique style.

Wonderful. Tim, why don't you demonstrate your new approach to art?

Oh, you think I should?

Definitely. Go right ahead, Tim. There's an easel. If you say so, Uncle Martin.

Marvelous. What a beautiful specimen of O 'Hara -ism.

Such daring style.

Such a definite likeness.

Definite likeness of what?

Why, of you, Mr. Burns.

Me? Yes, Tim just painted your portrait.

Mr. Bentley, where do you think something like this should be hung?

I wouldn't hang it, I'd throw it.

Better show up at the office for work tomorrow.

You paint like that, you're going to starve.

I respect your opinions, sir.

You better put in some overtime, too. You're going to need the money.

Mr.

Martin, look.

Do me a great big favor and make me a promise. Never try to earn any money to

help me. I can't afford it.

All right.

But it's going to be a little difficult for me to write checks on the Mars

National Bank.