All language subtitles for My Favorite Martian s01e19 Now You See It Now You Dont

Up, boy. Up, up, up.

Oh, come on now.

I'm exhausted.

I'm beat.

Poop.

Tim. Tim.

Tim.

Tim.

It's your day off.

What's the idea of letting me sleep in
all day?

Amazing how much energy you Earth people
have when you're not working.

Don't tell me all you Martians love to
work. Absolutely. But then, of course,

do have a five -day weekend.

I play it. Golf is work.

Well, forget golf. Today we're going to
commune with beauty.

Oh, I'm for that.

Who is she?

You and I are going to the museum.

The museum?

You said that as though you were
swallowing vinegar.

It's not that, Uncle Martin. It's just
that I don't happen to be particularly

partial to collections of old bones and
broken -down crockery. It isn't age that

makes them important, Tim. It's the fact
that they've withstood the test of

time.

Voices from the past have lessons for
us, if we have ears to listen. I hear

them. And you know what they're saying?

What? Go back to bed.

Tricky, aren't you?

18th century Ivy League.

Culture is like spinach.

Once you forget it's good for you, you
can relax and enjoy it.

Feast your eyes.

Rembrandt's The Night Watch.

Not bad.

Not bad. It's a masterpiece.

All except the lower left -hand corner.

I told Remy he had too much burnt sienna
on his palate. You told Rembrandt?

You forget I'm 450 years old and that I
visited this planet many times before.

Yes, but you talk as though you were
looking over Rembrandt's shoulder when

did that. That would have been
impossible.

I

would

have been in the center, but I came late
that day.

Martin, from now on, if you tell me, you
pose for the Mona Lisa.

I'll believe it. Of course I didn't pose
for the Mona Lisa, but I did tell her

the joke that made her smile.

Hey, could you tell me? You see, I have
a date tomorrow night that... That's

strange.

I'm getting the most turbulent thought
waves.

Someone around here is very unhappy.

Yeah, that's me. I want to get out of
here.

It's that man over there.

Well, he looks perfectly normal to me.
On the outside.

Inside, his brain is going like a boiler
factory.

Hmm.

Very interesting.

Oh. Come on now, Uncle Martin. You know
it's not polite to enter people's heads

without knocking.

What was he thinking? He was moving so
fast I couldn't zero in on him. But I

get this.

He's curator of the museum.

Yes. And he's concerned about something
he's done.

Something involving the museum.

Was it very serious?

Serious.

His thought waves were coming through at
49 cephalocycles. Anything over 30 is

panic button.

I have a feeling there's a story here
for your newspaper.

You in?

Can't hear?

I'm Martin O 'Hara. How do you do? I've
come to compliment you on your exhibit.

Oh, thank you.

Won't you sit down? Thank you.

I've been curator here for 30 years.

Frankly, this doesn't happen very often.

30 years.

My, you've spent a great part of your
life here. Yes, I have. In fact, some of

my friends think I'm so old I ought to
be on display here myself.

Mr. Canfield, with your permission, I'd
like to sketch your face. The character

lines intrigue me.

Oh, you're very kind, but I only think
of them as wrinkles myself.

However, if you insist.

Mr. Canfield, relax and think of
something. Anything at all. The first

that comes to mind.

There you are. Thank you very much. I'm
sorry I took so much of your time.

Well, if I didn't know better, I'd swear
this has been done by a pupil

of Rembrandt.

Hello? Oh, hello, Mr. Bromley.

How nice to speak to the chairman of the
board.

You did what?

He said that?

He's doing that.

Well, sir, now, how do you like our
Cleopatra?

Oh, very nice, but somehow I prefer her
on a wide screen.

I'm not in that one.

Oh, oh, listen. What was wrong with the
curator?

Did he have moths in his mummies? He
bought a very rare piece of Egyptian art

for $50 ,000.

Over 4 ,000 years old. I had a used car
like that once.

Even I haven't ever seen this piece of
art.

It's the work of Menhoptic the Younger.
What team did he play for?

He was the royal sculptor to Queen
Nefertiti.

I suggest you call your boss and tell
him to hold space for a scoop. My motto,

never argue with a Martian.

Matt?

Don't uncover that new piece till you
hear from me.

Oh, is there anything wrong, Mr.
Canfield? Yes, I've just had a call from

board.

They must think I'm slipping or getting
too old.

Well, I told Mr.

Burns that I had a yarn coming up.

Why, that's downright humiliating.

Uncle Martin, do you hear something that
I don't?

Poor Mr. Canfield. The chairman of the
board is bringing in an outside expert

for another opinion on his new
acquisition.

Well, that's great. That adds a little
drama to the story. No, I'm afraid you

couldn't print that, Tim.

If Mr. Canfield is wrong, we'd be
holding him up to public ridicule. Oh,

I guess you're right. I'm sorry. I know
I promised you, but until Mr. Expert

authenticates the piece, we'll have to
hold up the story.

Sorry, gentlemen, but it's closing time.

Well, there's something we still have to
see.

I'm sorry, but Saturday we close at two.

Now, Uncle Martin, look.

If I'm going to write a story, I have to
see the statue. I'm way ahead of you.

Keep that guard away from the door.
Well, how?

May I speak to you for a minute?

I just wanted to say that I, uh, will
see you tomorrow.

Matt? Do you know what the board are
doing?

No. Just because I didn't get an outside
opinion, they're calling in an expert

to check on my judgment. How old does a
man have to get before people realize he

knows what he's doing?

Well, it's just a technicality, Mr.
Canfield.

But above all people in the world, why
should they call in a man like Pietro

Donati to examine a statue?

Pietro Donati.

What's the matter? Something wrong?

No, nothing. I once wrote a scathing
article about Donati and proved him

You know, Matt, I don't want to boast,
but I'm just as much an expert as he is.

What's the matter with you? Is there
something wrong?

No, no, nothing, nothing really.

Matt, I think you should see a doctor.

Yes, maybe I should.

What was under the drape, leg man?

Well, as an ancient philosopher once put
it... Oh, no. When you start quoting

ancient philosophers, I'm dead.

You goofed.

A rather inelegant way to put it. I
prefer to think that I, uh... Uh...

goofed. I'm sorry.

But every time I went to look under the
drape to look at the statue, that guard

was staring at it like a house detective
at a beauty contest.

No, don't leave. I, uh... I forgive you.

Thank you. I'll stay.

That's right, Mr.

Burns. I thought I had a story, but I'm
afraid it conked out on me.

Well, I knew you'd understand.

Well, you just keep the presses rolling
and I'll see you tomorrow.

Now try it with your hand off the
button.

I'm only brave on dry runs.

If I hadn't said I'd get you that story.

Uncle Martin, I have no complaints after
all the times that you've helped me.

Why didn't I think of it?

There is a way of seeing under that
cloth.

There's an old Martian saying.

If the mountain won't come to Mohammed,
Mohammed can go to the mountain. An old

Martian saying?

The next thing you'll be telling me is
that you invented the hot dog. No, but

invented the mustard in the bun.

With my powers, why can't I... Of
course!

You could float the thing over here and
then we could take a picture of it. And

if it's authentic, you've got your story
and Mr. Canfield's a recognized expert.

Well, it's all yours. Now, come on.

Fidget the digit.

It's not that simple. There's a little
matter of distance.

Well, let's get going. Come on, I'll
drive you to the mountain.

Now, when I get the guard to open the
door, you keep him occupied while I slip

inside. All right, start slipping.

open the door, I'd like to talk to you.
We don't open the doors at night.

What do you want?

Well, I just wanted to remind you that
I'll see you tomorrow.

Well, couldn't you get through that
peephole?

Tim, even invisible, I'm a grown
Martian, not Tom Thumb.

Well, maybe there's a window open
somewhere.

Well, let's see.

Clothes tighter than a drum.

Boy, am I sweating out this story.

That's an excellent suggestion.

Well, thanks.

What'd I say? The perfect Earth
response.

It's when you people don't try that
you're at your best.

If you're trying to confuse me, you win.

I'm going to get that guard to sweat it
out, too.

All I have to do is levitate the
thermostat up to hot.

Then he's bound to open the window for
some air. And when he does, zingo.

I levitate the statue out of the window.

Well, why don't you just open the window
and... And bring on the police?

There's a burglar alarm on each window.

I'll have to get the guard to turn them
off.

Boy, I sure get great ideas, don't I?

Only when you don't try.

Now, let's see. The window to the
Egyptian room is over there.

All right.

Stand by for Operation Heat Wave.

i wish i had a dozen of these wish i had
one

What now?

What's the matter with that? The statue!
It's gone!

Gone? It flew out the window!

Oh, no. You're just tired. That's what
it is. It's natural for men of our age.

Maybe you dozed off and walked in your
sleep.

Perhaps you took it to some other part
of the building.

Maybe... Maybe that's what happened. I'm
sure...

Statues don't fly.

Of course they do.

Let's go and have a look.

Over

4

,000 years old.

In better shape than my cousin Fred.

And he's only 60.

Please be serious.

You're in the presence of a genuine
menhoptic. I wish you could appreciate

excited menhoptic was about doing this
statue.

You knew him. Yet I thought you said
you'd never seen the statue before.

I didn't. But I read menhoptic's mind
over 4 ,000 years ago when he was first

thinking of doing the piece. I also
thought you said you were only 450 years

old. 450 Martian years.

Each year consisting of 300 weeks.

Each week made up of 8 ,672 days.

Must be murder when relatives drop in
for a weekend.

A man has to be pretty fast with a fork.

Uh -oh, trouble.

The window's closed.

And I don't think they'll fall for that
thermostat trick again.

Oh, well, why don't we just, you know,
leave it in front and run like bunnies?

It is my responsibility to get that
statue right back on that pedestal where

took it from.

Oh. Well, I suppose you're just going to
knock on the front door, and then when

the guard opens the peephole... Did I
say something brilliant again?

You're great when you don't try.

What did I say? We're going to knock on
the door. But they don't open the front

door at night. Not even if they see
Menhoptic's statue sitting out front?

a big statue between the gate and the
pedestal.

Police department?

This is Mr. Canfield.

It's back!

Oh, please, John, please!

Watch back! The statue! It's back!

There it is. It flew right in the...

I think you're due for a vacation.

A long one.

When the board hears this, maybe I'll
join you both.

Matt. Matt.

Do you see what I see?

I sure do.

Mr. Canfield!

Ah, not until I get it back on the
pedestal where it came from. We Martians

to be neat.

This time it's really back.

That's right. I saw it, too.

Are you sure?

Yes, sir.

We saw it with our own eyes.

Come on, Mr.

Canfield.

Sit down, friends.

Sit down.

We're at the end of the trail.

Don't try to kid me.

You're not there.

Maybe you think you are, but you're not.

Now he's talking to himself.

Dear old man, please don't. I... I...

It's back!

It's back!

Please, Mr. Canfield, don't you start
that. One of us is enough.

There you are. You know, I was just
thinking. What?

Well, if you can't be brainy, the next
best thing is to have a Martian uncle.

you turn into a cheerleader?

No, no, no, no. Not that kind of Ra. My
Ra is spelled R -A.

Oh, well, you're a great speller. Good
night, Uncle. Ra is the symbol for the

Egyptian sun god.

Menhoptic chiseled it on everything he
produced.

What do you want me to do? Send him a
thank you note? When we had the statue

here, I was so thrilled at seeing it
that I forgot to look for the Ra sign.

If that sign isn't on the statue
somewhere, it's not the real thing. Then

Canfield's job is in danger.

Exactly. That poor man.

Well... I'll think of something.

Let's go back to bed.

Rah, rah.

I think you're worrying about nothing.

This Mr.

Donati probably never even read your
article showing him up to be a boob.

I hope so.

There he is.

Ah, Mr. Donati.

What a great pleasure it is to be in the
presence of such a great expert.

That is not what you wrote in that
article years ago, my friend.

What article?

Now, where is this so -called Menhotek?

Not so -called.

The real thing.

Here it is.

As you can feel, you have been, how

do you say?

But it must be a monetic.

It was found in the tomb of Nefertiti.

And the chisel strokes and the subject
matter are all absolutely

True, it has everything except the most
important, the symbol of Ra.

Yes, I know that, but my heart tells me.

Think with your head, my friend, not
your heart.

Some expert.

I beg your pardon?

You wouldn't know a genuine menhoptic
from a clay pigeon in a shooting

You are talking to Donati, who... Who
forgot to scrape under the left wing to

look for the sign of Rob.

I did look. There was no... But you
didn't scrape.

Centuries of burial leave a residue that
may have covered the symbol.

Mon Dieu.

Monsieur Canfield.

Monsieur Canfield.

The mark of Ra. She is there.

She is? I mean, it is?

Right here.

I knew it was genuine. I couldn't find
the sign.

Neither could I until he told me. He
who?

He him.

But he was just there.

Nobody could have been there. The doors
were locked with a guard outside.

But I spoke with him. He had blonde hair
and... The door is locked?

Yes, sir.

Oh, I must be getting old.

Okay, don't let that worry you, sir.
You're only as old as you feel, you

As young as you feel you mean.

Now, how about that?

Two full columns.

And a byline.

We did yourself proud, my boy.

Hello.

Well, thanks, Mr. Burns. I'm glad you
liked it.

What?

I am?

Well, that's just great.

Thanks,

Mr. Burns.

Well, if you liked it, why the prune
face?

He liked it so much, he just appointed
me special culture editor.

You know what my first assignment is
right now?

What? I've got to cover the opera.

Tim?