All language subtitles for My Favorite Martian s01e11 The Atom Misers

Okay, coming, coming.

Yeah, I made it. I think I set a new
indoor record.

And good morning, and how about a cup of
coffee for you?

You are looking at the city editor's
pride and joy. Up at the crack of dawn,

prepared to face fire, famine, civil
uprising.

Of course, today it's a beauty contest.

Hey, look, why don't you come along with
me? I could sneak you to my press pass.

You know, I don't know how it is up
there on Mars, but down here on Earth,

isn't every day you get to interview 20
beautiful bikinis.

Girls.

You all right?

Uncle Martin.

Non -magnetic atomic weight, 43 .50.

What? I've been analyzing the table of
atomic matter and decided on syllable.

Heat -resistant metal, high tensile
strength. Exactly what I need to repair

spaceship. Oh, that's nice, but what are
you going to do? Of course, it hasn't

been invented yet. Here on Earth.

Oh, well, I'm sorry we're so backward.

Here on Earth.

Oh, that's all right.

It's simply a matter of splitting the
silicon atom and the cobalt atom and

fusing them into syllable.

Naturally. First, I'll make a cyclotron.

An atom smasher?

Uh -huh.

Use a few parts from the spaceship and,
uh, pick up a few odds and ends here and

there. Now, wait a minute. Just one
second.

Do you mean to tell me you intend to
build a cyclotron here in my kitchen?

Just a teeny -weeny one.

Oh, shut up.

You're being replaced by a cyclotron.

I'm listening, Mr. Burns.

What kind of a story?

Oh, a human interest story.

Just one second, Mr. Burns. I can't hear
you.

What?

I didn't mean to shout.

is working beautifully, but the
resonance acceleration... If only I had

thousand more volts.

Oh, no. Now, you just remember what the
power and light company said.

Last night, the city was blacked out for
one full mile and six electric buses

stopped dead.

Accidents will happen.

Especially when one is forced to work
with such a primitive power source.

Why don't you just get away from this
machine for a while, hmm?

Now, I have to go to the university and
interview a child.

prodigy, it might be very interesting
for you. Why don't you come along?

He's the youngest student in the
university.

Thirteen years old. Physics major.

IQ of 190.

On Mars, he would be considered
retarded.

Okay, Uncle Mark. Okay!

I'll leave you in your laboratory as
soon as I get a cold drink.

Well, that's just peachy. The
refrigerator's shot. What's it doing out

anyway?

Well, I borrowed a...

Keep the food from spoiling.

I'll replace it.

I wouldn't want this scientific
experiment to deprive you of ice cubes.

I construct a perfectly good cyclotron,
the only one on this planet with

reversible magnetic fields, and my sole
source of power is a 110 -volt wall

plug. It can only happen on Earth.

I'm sorry you can't join me at the
university.

I understand they have a new cyclotron
out there.

Half a million volts.

But, like you said, you're busy.

Half a million volts.

I'll see you later.

Half a million volts?

Jim!

I'm going with you.

One hour with that machine and I'll have
all the Silabalt I need.

No kidding.

I'm just about finished with the
refrigerator.

I'll wait for you in the car.

fun -loving city editor is never going
to believe this. It won't start.

Oh, I borrowed the coil from your engine
this morning.

have to respond to Jackson's office.

Mark.

200 -ton cyclotron indeed. Talk about
primitive power.

On Mars, we'd use that to mix our malted
milk.

Uncle Martin, this is no time to fool
that disappearing act.

Uncle Martin.

Uncle Martin.

Oh, I'm terribly sorry. I was looking
for my uncle.

Well, I can assure you I'm not your
uncle.

Yes, I can see that.

I mean, I was looking for Dr.

Jackson, and he's disappeared.

Not Dr.

Jackson, my uncle.

Look, do I sound confused to you?

Thoroughly. Oh, that's good, because I
sound confused to me, too.

May I help you?

Yes. I mean, I'm looking for Dr.
Jackson.

Oh, well, then you must be... Yes, I'm
Dr.

Jackson's assistant, Janine Carter.

Dr. Jackson stepped out for a moment.

Good afternoon.

Can I help you?

Don't worry. I'm not here to repossess
your apparatus.

Are you from the police?

No. Faculty?

Do I look like faculty?

Yes.

I resent that.

My name is Mark. I suppose you think
that puts me under some sort of

to give you mine.

This is Mumford, Donald Allen, newly
acquired student, 77601, and your home

Lompoc, California.

You are faculty.

Now, what do I have to do to convince
you that I'm not an instructor?

Write on the wall, I hate teacher?

Don't touch.

Oh, sorry.

Why are you here?

Well, you might say that I'm connected
with a newspaper.

I have no statement to make to the press
at this stage in my experiment.

Cyclist on?

Use a magnetic accelerator?

They usually do.

Quite an advanced resonance adapter.

You know what that is.

Oh, hobby of mine.

I've always been interested in atomic
structure.

This is the only cyclotron in existence
with reversible magnetic fields.

Uh -huh.

Then I suppose you could bombard both
the proton and neutron at the same

instant. Mm -hmm. You see, then I could
split the most difficult of atoms.

However, it's a very complex theory. I
doubt if you could follow me.

Well, uh, I'm doing my very best.

I just read I have a power problem.

They won't listen.

Who won't listen?

The university.

The university won't let me near their
high power equipment.

Very short -sighted of them.

If I could get, say, 7 ,000 volts for
you, would you consider combining two

radically different elements?

Well, what atomic weights?

58 .94.

Cobalt. And?

26 .09.

Silicon.

Cobalt and silicon.

Very interesting combination.

You could call the new element
cellobalt.

I prefer that to cocaine, which really
sounds like a new soft drink.

It's a marvelous experiment.

How soon can you deliver power?

Oh, about any time now.

7 ,000 volts.

7 ,000.

8 ,000.

8 ,000.

9 ,000.

Sold to the highest bidder. 9 ,000
volts.

I know how you feel about that boy, but
I was right. You cannot run a

kindergarten and a university at the
same time. I was against it from the

Putting a 13 -year -old boy in with 20
-year -olds. Well, now he's done it.

Mumford? Yes, Mumford. And this time
it's serious.

Who are you?

Oh, this is Mr. O 'Hara, Dr. Jackson.
He's here to talk to Donald. Not the

No. Los Angeles Sun reporter.

Oh, well, young man, you can put in your
story that I gave Donald Mumford every

chance. Didn't I, Miss Carter?

Did I take offense when he questioned my
atomic fusion theory?

No. Or when he called me a pre -Cambrian
haploid in front of the entire class. A

pre -Cambrian haploid? Yes.

That's an ancient non -thinking
organism.

I made every allowance for Mumford, but
this, this is too much. What, Dr.

Jackson? Fourteen parts of the new
cyclotron.

Gone. Don't you print that.

No.

Fourteen parts? No.

I'm going to catch this young man if I
have to turn this campus upside down.

Well, we don't know for sure. It was
Donald.

Sure, it could have been any old
cyclotron thief.

Who else but Mumford would have scanned
the cyclotron coils, magnetic

accelerators, or rheostats? Can you
think of anyone else who would dare?

No. No, no, I can't. I mean, no.

No.

Vibration level minimal.

Acceleration constant.

Oscillation perfect.

Vibration minor.

Agitation slight.

Velocity stable.

We sound like two neurosurgeons on
television.

This is a vital experiment.

Sorry, Doctor.

Would Dr. Jackson be surprised if he
knew about this cyclotron?

I dare say he would.

Now, Mr. Howard, I must admit you're
remarkably progressive for an adult.

No old -fashioned theories.

You're well down to earth.

Only lately, Donald. Only lately.

Oh, sorry.

This is getting to be a habit.

I haven't seen him anywhere.

Yeah, I haven't had the luck either.

Well, look, why don't we just sit down
and think this thing out?

Boy, it looks pretty discouraging,
doesn't it?

You know, it would be nice of you to
try, especially for a boy you don't even

know.

Jeannie, look, I'm afraid that you and I
are looking for two different people.

Two different people? Yes, you're
looking for Donald. I'm looking for my

That's right. You said before that you
were looking for your uncle. Uh -oh.

What?

I must find this boy. Looks like Dr.

Jackson's called out the reserves.

Doc, you go down that way and look down
that way. And Chamberlain and Jones, you

look that way. Both of you.

I'd say we're ready for power.

Promise 9 ,000 volts.

Sure they'll give it to you?

I think I can arrange it.

where he went, he couldn't just
disappear.

Yeah, well, you don't know him like I
do.

What?

Listen.

Oh, that sounds familiar.

Sounds like my disposal.

I'll bet you... Come on.

All that remains, partner, is to throw
the switch and syllable.

It's nice to be known, but if you'll
excuse us, Don and I are in the middle

very important experiment. How? Half of
the faculty is looking for that little

boy. You know this atomic faggot? Miss
Carter, he had nothing to do with this.

Could we discuss this some other time?
Whatever you're doing, you better quit

right now. Maybe we can put all this
equipment back before Dr. Jackson finds

I'm telling you, we haven't much time.

Oh, she's right, Uncle Martin. We've got
to get out of here.

Not till we finish our experiment.

I think it's just a coil. Or maybe the
chamber. Somebody

must have pulled the wrong switch.

Well, it's a good thing Dr. Jackson
didn't see this.

Yes.

Isn't it?

Isn't it just?

hate her any longer.

We are forced to terminate your studies
at the university.

Oh, uh, you're welcome to use your room
in the dormitory until 8 a .m. Monday,

and a detailed report will, of course,
be sent to your grandparents.

Yes, sir.

Goodbye, Miss Carter. Thanks for
everything.

Goodbye, Donald.

Goodbye, Dr. Jackson.

Goodbye, Mumford.

Mr. O 'Hara?

Donald.

Uncle Martin, it's been a privilege
working with you.

It's been a privilege for me, though.

Mr. O 'Hara.

Luckily, there has been no serious
damage, and I'm willing to consider the

incident closed, on condition that your
uncle doesn't honor us for the future

visit.

Yes, sir.

Dr. Jackson, I'm afraid I don't consider
the incident closed.

Uncle Martin.

Not just yet.

I'm glad to see how far this planet has
progressed in its treatment of bright,

inquiring minds.

Not too long ago, young Tom Edison was
rewarded by a cuff on the ear for having

new, different ideas.

Of course Donald is rebellious,
argumentative, over -eager. But as I

Pasteur, Edison, and Einstein were all
difficult to handle because they were

different. They dared to think
differently.

Try to understand what Donald is going
through.

He's alone in a strange world.

Too intelligent to be accepted by other
children and too small to be accepted by

adults. All he needs is a little
understanding.

But, of course, I don't suppose that's
in the curriculum.

Oh, by the way, you might ask Donald to
look at the university's new cyclotron.

That will prevent it from becoming
obsolete before it's built.

Coming, Kim?

Miss Carter, have Mumford's bags moved
from the dormitory to my home?

Yes, sir.

Oh, and tell Mrs. Jackson we're going to
have a guest.

Yes, Dr. Jackson.

Uncle Martin?

I was pretty proud of you in there.

As a matter of fact, so was I.

Oh, my boy.

Martin.

Surprise.

Donald gave this to me. He found it in a
cyclotron.

Syllabald.

Marvelous. Now I'll finally be able to
repair my spaceship.

Do you realize that this is the hardest
known substance on Earth, that is? I

thought that would make you happy. I do
like it.

Uh -oh. What's the matter?

How am I going to cut it?

How am I going to shape it? All you have
to do is make tools harder than

Syllabald. That's all I have to do.

Make tools harder than Syllabald.

Yes, but how?

Oh, this backward planet.