All language subtitles for My Favorite Martian s01e08 The Awful Truth

Does everyone on Mars have all of your
powers? Of course.

On Mars, powers are merely the facts of
life. On Earth, we have the facts of

life, too. But compared to yours, the
birds and bees are for the birds.

I know what you're thinking, Tim.

But you just can't have one.

You're not ready yet.

Well, have you ever given a power to
someone on Earth?

Of course not.

Well, then how do you know we're not
ready?

Now, you're always telling me not to
prejudge, and you're prejudging now.

No, I'm not. Yes, you are. Now, you say
the people on Earth are not ready for

Martian powers. And yet, no one on Earth
has ever had a Martian power.

I just couldn't do it.

Well, I'd like to prove to you that we
are mature enough.

Well, um... What power would you take?

Well, you, uh... You talk to animals.

You make me sound neurotic.

You read minds.

And now you make me sound like a
nightclub act.

You make things rise up and float
around.

It's called levitation. Learn the term.

Oh, sorry.

Well, let's see. You can disappear.

That's it.

Disappear. I bet being invisible would
be a ball.

Especially in certain places.

You should have your thoughts washed out
with soap.

I never asked anything of you before.

I mean, didn't I take you in?

Like a brother?

Like an uncle.

Well, what's wrong with trying a little
thing like that?

Well, nothing, I suppose.

Maybe I could let you have levitation
for a little while.

Oh, that'd be great. For how long?

One day. One day?

Take it or leave it. I'll take it.

All right, let me see your index finger.

Am I right or am I left? Right, of
course. The left is for something else.

Now, if I told you that, you'd want it
instead.

I read your mind.

Now, place your finger against my
finger.

What are you going to do? Come on, come
on, come on. Don't be frightened.

Now, close your eyes.

Take a deep breath.

Think of nothing but your fingers.

You're good.

Yes, you've got it, but you've got to be
careful with it.

Hey, look at that.

Put that fish back.

Let me see that finger.

Well, it looks fine.

What's wrong?

Did you ever break that finger?

Well, yeah, I broke it when I was
playing football. Why?

It never set right.

All your levitation will be at an angle.

There are people like that, you know.

Yes, Uncle Martin.

Hey, this is great!

Watch your control.

Hold that finger straight.

That's it now.

Compensate, compensate for that angle.

Trial ending.

Never take your eye off of what you're
levitating.

Watch this, Uncle Merton.

He's up on that middle joint.

Now, now, now, bend the knuckle on that
bank.

What's so funny? It's not a toy, Tim.

I'm sorry, Uncle Martin, but I'm just
afraid it's not right for me.

Well, you are not really trying.

No, you were right, Uncle Martin.

Levitation is a toy to me.

Now, this would be great if I was up.

A piano mover or a bank robber? Even a
street sweeper. But I'm afraid being a

reporter, I picked the wrong power.

You can't change powers in midstream.

Well, why not? So I made a mistake.

Look, I should have picked something
that was a little more helpful in my

I never should have started this. Uncle
Martin, look.

There's this reporter that has his city
hall beat and he's on vacation.

And I have an interview tomorrow with a
big shot councilman.

I can't.

Uncle Martin, if I could find out how he
really thinks, how he's going to vote

on particular issues, it'd help me a
great deal. Come on, Uncle Martin. Give

a transfer.

I'm not a streetcar conductor.

Well,

um... Not now, anyway.

Why not?

Well, before I give you mine reading,
I'd have to take back levitation.

All right, swell. Take it back.

All right.

Hold out your finger.

All right. There. It's gone.

So fast?

Up, chair.

Up, telephone.

Up, down. Up, Blitzen. It's gone, Tim.
Really.

That's great. Now, where's the mind
reading? Tomorrow.

All day? Can I have it all day?

Until midnight.

Gee.

I feel like Cinderella.

Why didn't you wake me earlier? I only
have one day for mind reading. You have

plenty of time, Tim. Until midnight.

Is it connected?

You know, does it work? Can I read
minds? Open the door and see.

Good morning, Mr. O 'Hara.

Nice day.

What was that?

You said it's a nice day.

There's two cents postage due on my
letter, right?

How'd you know? Just a wild guess.

Yes,

you're right.

That's not our dog.

We don't have a dog.

It's funny. It's just what I was
thinking.

But I can tell you what you think is the
worst kind of dog.

What? A Pekingese.

Yeah. They're so small, they come up and
bite you on the ankle before you even

notice them.

They're so small, they come up and bite
you and they... Here's your letter.

He came in as clear as a bell!

What did you expect?

Static? It's fantastic.

Now, Tim, you can't tease people with
their own thoughts.

It's not a game.

Uh, do me a favor, huh?

Go back to levitation.

Oh, no.

I'm just warming up to mind reading.

Well, after what I've just seen, I'm
worried about what might happen the rest

the day.

Oh, all right, Uncle Martin, I was
showing off.

But, well, he was my first case.

I mean, how did you do your first time?

Well, it's hard to remember.

I was a baby.

Mrs. Brown.

Oh, good morning, Tim.

It certainly is a gorgeous morning.

Oh, well, that's just what I was going
to say.

Good morning, Mrs. Brown.

Oh, good morning, Martin.

Oh, I brought some chocolate chip
cookies up for you, Tim. I know they're

favorite. You mean you know that they're
Uncle Martin's favorite?

Oh, his favorite, too. Really?

Oh, well, now that's a surprise.

Uh -uh, Mrs. Brown.

You mean he loves chocolate chip. Well,
I baked them for you, Tim, but if Martin

really likes them... Oh, I do indeed,
Mrs. Brown.

It was very nice of you to think of us.
Oh, I hope you like them.

Most people do like my chocolate cook
-tippies.

I mean, my chocolate cha -choppies.
Yeah, my chocolate cha... Oh, dear.

Maybe I should have made peanut brutal.

Yeah, brutal.

Well, it was very nice of you, Mrs.
Brown. I know we will enjoy these.

You're absolutely right, Mrs. Brown. He
doesn't look his age at all. No, he

certainly doesn't.

Did I say that?

No, Mrs. Brown.

Tim said that. Ah, good.

For a minute I thought... Thought you
said what you were thinking. Yes, that's

right. I thought that... Oh,

enjoy the chookies. Oh, cookies.

She came in clearer than the mailman.

I'm a what?

A blabbermouth.

One of the first rules of mind reading
is don't be a blabbermouth.

Don't blab.

I just said what she was thinking.

That's blabbing.

No, no thank you. No coffee now.

As a matter of fact, the lady would like
milk later.

Isn't that right, Nath? I was just going
to say that.

Now, where were we?

A bachelor interview with Councilman
Gramby this afternoon.

I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.

Well, you don't have to. This is my
lucky day.

What's the matter?

Well...

There's something I'm going to have to
tell you.

You see, I got this telegram.

You mean telephone call?

Yes, telephone call.

You see, I have this aunt from New
Jersey.

Really? Your aunt?

From Brown Brook.

And he?

She. Well, she's coming into town this
weekend.

I'm afraid I'm going to have to break
our Saturday night date.

Do you know how much extra I had to pay
for those tickets to a broker?

Well, I can't be rude to my aunt.

Your aunt, huh?

Mm -hmm. The tall aunt?

Well, she's not that tall.

Well, the six -foot -two tall aunt with
the broad shoulders and the big blue

eyes, that aunt.

My father's younger sister.

Your father's younger sister who played
tackle at Purdue?

I don't know what you mean, Tim.

Your Aunt Bronco.

Have you been spying on me?

Have you had my phone tapped?

Had me followed? All right.

Really, your aunt?

Couldn't you have said your grandmother
who died or a story you had to go on out

of town?

Well, well, I've just never been so
insulted in all my life.

Who gets the salad?

Oh, he does. And allow me to give it to
him.

Roford, please.

I'm off to interview Gramby, but first
I'm going to stop by and get last

instructions from Burns.

Tim, maybe we should... Call the whole
thing off?

Don't forget, I can read your mind, too.
Well, then you know what I'm thinking.

When I gave you the power of mind
-reading, it was like opening Pandora's

Nothing but trouble has come out.

Well, I'll admit that maybe I acted
foolish with the mailman and with Mrs.

Brown.

Maybe even a little with Daphne, too.

From what you told me, that was quite a
lunch date you had with Daphne. Yes,

I... That's not funny.

What? That joke you're thinking?

It must have been a tossed salad?

Because she really tossed it?

I'm sorry.

But I'm really concerned about your
interview.

This power could get you into lots of
trouble.

Once I read Gramby's mind, I am going to
write the interview of the year. Now,

will you please stop worrying?

I can't help it. It's my responsibility.

I never should have given you mind
reading and... You might take it back?

I might.

I might.

Oh, no, you wouldn't.

I just looked in there and you'd never
go back on a promise.

Besides, I know how to use it better
now.

Oh, no, you don't. I just looked in
there.

And you don't. I think... That's not
true.

Besides... You never did, just this
morning. That doesn't count. You were...

was not.

Tim.

Oh, no.

You said till 12 midnight, not till 12
noon.

Anyway... You wouldn't dare.

I could... You wouldn't.

You know, I sort of hate to leave now.
You and I could have a wonderful

conversation and not even say a word.

Oh, come on, Uncle Martin. What are we
doing? Playing follow the leader?

I can't help it, Tim.

I'm concerned.

But I'm a big boy now.

I know, I know. But I gave you dynamite
to play with.

And I'd feel better if I went along with
you.

Oh, that's swell. That sure makes me a
big shot reporter. What am I supposed to

say? Councilman Granby, I'd like you to
meet my Uncle Martin. He's here to keep

an eye on me. Just to make sure that I
don't do anything silly.

Yeah, yeah.

You've got a point there.

I know what I'll do.

Now I won't embarrass you by my
presence, but I'll be there in case you

All right, I can't stop you now.

Join the fun. See if I care.

Say, Gene, give me a rundown on that new
reporter I've got to talk to, will you?

Oh, it's all here on a set of four -by
-five cards, Jack.

He's a real lightweight.

He's a fast replacement for Eddie. His
name's O 'Hara, and he's a real nothing.

He's nobody.

Yes? Tim O 'Hara.

Send him in.

What was his name again? O 'Hara. Tim.

Tim O 'Hara. Tim.

Tim. Tim.

How are you, my boy?

Can we get you something?

Well, no. No, thank you. I'm fine.

Good. Let's go. I like a reporter who
wants to get to work fast.

That's what we've heard about you.

Oh, we've heard a lot about you, Tom.

Tim. Yeah, of course. How could I
forget?

You've got some reputation, my boy.

Real heavyweight. I've been looking
forward to this interview.

Shall we sit on the couch?

No,

I'd rather not sit on the couch.

Fine, let's sit on the couch.

One second, bud. Let's sit on the couch.

Yeah, whatever you say, my boy.

Where shall we start?

Oh, well, a councilman, Gramby.

Jack.

Everybody calls him Jack. Part of the
new breed.

Fire away.

Yes. Well, I know the council will be
voting next week. Oh, I love being

interviewed by a reporter who's bothered
to check the facts.

Congratulations, my boy.

Well, thank you very much.

Now, there seems to be some concern
about the new freeway going through your

district. Right.

Yes, well, have you made up your mind
yet?

I mean, are you going to vote for it or
against it?

Is that your full question?

It's a hot potato, all right.

Will you vote for it or against it?
You've got to face issues.

Jack always says that.

If you were to ask me what advice I
would give to a young man or a young

starting out in politics today, I would
sum it up in two words.

Face issues.

Now, what's your next question?

My next question?

A councilman's a busy man, Tom.

Tim, let's get on with the interview. I
don't mean to rush you, my boy, but I'm

interested in your next question.

Yes, well... Now, I know the new high
school bond issue is coming up before

council. We owe a great responsibility
to the youth. They are the voters of

tomorrow. Oh, well, then you'll support
the new bond issue.

A lot of the voters of today aren't
interested in the voters of tomorrow.

You won't support it.

Isn't he a peach of an interviewer, G?
He sure is, Jack.

If you were to ask me what advice I
would give to a young man or a young

starting out in journalism today, I
would sum it up in two words.

Clear questions.

Now, do you have a third question?

But I haven't... Yes?

Oh, right away.

The mayor wants you on your private
line.

He always wants me when I'm tied up.

I'll take it inside.

You think up some more good questions,
my boy. I'll be back in five minutes.

Make yourself at home. Be my guest.

Fine.

All right.

Where are you?

In Jack's chair.

Okay, wise guy.

What did you do with my mind reading
power?

I didn't do anything. Never trust a
Martian. That's my motto.

Ah, ah, where are you sneaking off to?

You just can't face me, can you?

Now, we made a deal, and you spoiled it
just when I really needed it. First I

read his mind, yes.

Then I read his mind, no.

Then yes.

And now.

All right.

Where are you?

Here.

You've still got the power, Tim.

Well, then why couldn't I read his mind
clearly?

Nobody can read a politician's mind
while he's deciding which side he's on.

not? He's playing mental ping pong.

Politicians won't commit themselves even
to themselves.

There's the angle for my story.

The Politician's Game, Metal Ping -Pong.

Now, just a minute, Tim.

What's the matter?

Not only did I give you a stick of
dynamite to play with, but it looks as

I just lit the fuse.

But this will be the greatest story I've
ever written.

Yes, yes, but think of the consequences.

Sure. I might just end up the official
political reporter for The Sun. I'm

to start that story right now.

Great, isn't it?

The ping -pong ball mind of Jack Granby,
one of our well -known councilmen,

bounces for and against the following
issues of the day.

Provocative, isn't it? Must have been
out of my mind to run it.

Granby's been calling this office for
hours, and so has his lawyer. And I've

been ducking them.

If we're lucky, mind you, if we're
lucky, this libel suit will only cost us

million dollars.

Our city's most ardent issue dodger
who's been playing both sides of the

for years. Oh, no.

Make it two million.

You know your next job. The obituary
column?

The obituary... Say, how the devil did
you know I was thinking that?

Oh, I don't know.

Let's just say I had a feeling I was a
dead duck.

Where have you been?

It's almost... It's almost 12 o 'clock.

Everybody's been looking for you.

Well, I've been out thinking of nice,
neat, clean ways to kill myself.

Why? Oh, Uncle Martin, you were right.

101 % right.

Earth men just aren't ready for Martian
powers.

I'm childish.

I'm immature.

Will you please take back my reading
before I do any more damage with it?

insulted enough people already.

I'm being sued for libel.

I've almost lost my job. I have lost my
new redhead.

Uncle Barton, will you please take it
back? I only want to know what people

me. Will you take it back before
whoever's coming up here gets up here?

Come in.

There you are.

When do I start delivering newspapers?

Oh, boy.

You're covering City Hall forever.

We're going to do an expose series about
all of the city council, and the mayor,

and maybe even the governor, too.

What?

We've sold every newspaper we've
printed.

We're back being a crusading newspaper.
Oh, no. And you're getting a raise, my

boy. You know, I finally took that call
from Granby.

And he told me that seeing all his
double talk in print convinced him that

had to take a stand against issues and
not duck them.

And you, my boy, you, Tim, you're the
one that changed him. Me?

Yeah. You know, he said that it was just
as if you were reading his mind.

Now, that's the kind of reporter I need.
A reporter who can get a politician's

innermost thoughts.

Well, you see, Mr. Burns, I'm afraid I
can't do that for you anymore.

Unless... Uncle Martin, can I just have
it for a little bit longer? Louie, the

meeting's set up with every councilman
for a week. And the mayor called. He

wants to go on record with you. Three
days? Two days? Are you listening to me?

It's too dangerous.

You don't know how to use it properly.

What do you mean, it's too dangerous?

What do you want, a pistol permit?

You got it. You know, I hear the
governor's scared, too.

At last, we've got a reporter who's in
there for answers. Yeah, please, Uncle

Martin. What does he want?

He wants something I, uh, loaned him.

Oh, forget it. I'll buy you a new one.
Look, I want to keep you happy, my boy.

But, Mr.

Martin, it's almost 12.

You can do a story without it.

Dig for your facts and push for the
answers.

What the devil did you give him? But I
can't write well without it. An

electrical tie grinder. Is that what you
want? Please, Mr. Martin, it's almost

midnight. What is this midnight? What,
are you afraid of turning into a

My head bites.

What the devil did you give him? Won't
you tell me? Give me a hint.

Is it bigger than a bread box?

Animal, vegetable, or mineral? Do men
use it more than women?

Ten. It's going. Oh, what's the matter
with you, Tim?

Eleven, nothing's coming in clear now.
I'm going to call the doctor. I'll get

the old man's doctor. He's the biggest
man on the coast. Well, it's gone.

What do you mean it's gone? What the
devil did you give him?

You would never believe it, Mr. Burns.

Never.

Oh, hello.

I'm Daphne Joyce.

How do you do?

Hello.

I'm Tim's Uncle Martin. Oh.

Well, is Tim home?

I have something important I want to
tell him. Well, he, uh...

He's in the other room.

Tim,

darling. Hi.

I'd like to introduce my Uncle Martin.

We've met.

Oh, Tim, dear, I was so wrong yesterday.

I'm sorry, darling.

Oh, well, that's all right. Will you
forgive me for being such a fool, such

adolescent? Well, of course. Well, I
acted like a child.

Well, I called Bronco and I told him it
was immature and unethical to make two

dates on the same night. And I broke my
date with him so I could go out with

you.

Really?

That's the way I feel about you, Tim,
darling.

You still have the tickets, don't you?

Oh, yes. As a matter of fact, I have.

You're an angel.

Pick me up early?

Yes. Well, let me walk you down to your
car.

if Tim could only read minds today.

You see, it was Bronco who switched her
date to Sunday.

But that's our little secret, isn't it?