Original subtitles

Well, Mr. Burns, I'm afraid I have very bad news for you.

Yes, the paper keeps coming out every day, even though you're away on

Who?

Hey, how's George?

Oh, George.

Oh, yes, you have a wonderful dog there, Mr. Burns.

My dog is my child, Tim. I'm leaving him in your hands. He's a happy, happy dog,

and if he's happy, I'm happy. And if he's unhappy... I'm unemployed.

I'm overjoyed.

No, it's good to know that you trust me to take care of him.

Well, sir, take care of him, I will.

Easy. A pleasure to have her on the house.

So peppy.

Full of life.

What? Oh, yes, Mr. Burns. As a matter of fact, he's standing right here wagging

his tail. I think he'd like to say hello to you.

George?

George?

It's your master and mine, George. Say something.

George.

Uncle Martin.

George.

Well, that was goodbye, and have a good time from George.

Right, Mr. Burns.

Yeah, and don't worry.

Right.

George.

Now, George, what's the matter with you, huh?

Now, George, what's the matter, huh? Tell me. Come on, tell me.

George, look what I have for you. Huh? Huh? Meat.

George.

George, watch. Watch. I'll bite.

Right?

Well, what am I going to do? He's just wasting away.

Do you know whatever happens to him happens to me?

Double.

Oh, no, not that.

That's the third batch of brownies this week, isn't it?

Yeah, but she's such a sweet girl, I don't want to hurt her feelings.

Anyway, I haven't gotten over the last batch.

What a break. She changed her mind.

No, I changed it for her.

Oh, oh, yeah. Well, thanks, Uncle Martin.

Well, anyway, what am I going to do about George?

All right, let's see if I can find out what's bothering him.

George. May I have a word with you?

Yes.

What's he saying? What's he saying?

Well?

Well, well?

He's in love.

Oh, come on.

George?

Convinced?

Yeah, yeah, I guess so.

Well, who's the girl?

I mean, well, you know what I mean. She lives in the apartment next door.

So what's the problem?

He's just seen her. He's never had a chance to meet her.

What's the matter? Is George bashful or something? No, no, no. The other dog has

never let out onto the lawn.

They've only wagged tails at each other through the window.

Oh, you're kidding, aren't you? You just made this whole story up.

All right, then. I withdraw from the case.

No, Uncle Martin, look, I, um, I believe you, but, uh, well, what are we going

to do about it, hmm?

Well, why don't we go next door and talk to the girlfriend?

That is a good idea. Come on, let's go. Come on, George, let's see what she

looks like.

I'm going next door to talk to the girlfriend of my boss's dog.

That makes sense.

Well,

it looks like George is giving it to you straight.

Unlike other creatures on this planet, I've never had a dog lie to me.

Well, I must say, George, you sure can pick them.

All right, George, I'll see what I can do about it. He wants me to open the

window so he can talk to his girlfriend.

I'll have to do it from inside, but I can tell her how.

Fine, Chloe.

Her name is Chloe.

Oh.

You don't have to tell me. I know what they're saying.

Oh, sure. He just said, oh, lady, by yonder blessed moon, I swear. And she

said, oh, swear not by the moon, the inconstant moon, which monthly changes

its circle, Lord, lest the dialogue prove likewise variable.

George, you better let me talk to her.

What's so funny?

She likes my Martian accent. She thinks it's very sexy.

Well, go on, Chloe. Tell me more.

Uh -huh.

You don't say.

Well, what'd she say?

Well, it seems her mistress has an emotional problem.

An unhappy experience with a man.

Now she hates all males, and she's being overprotective with Chloe. Won't let

her out, lavishes a lot of neurotic affection on her, and so on.

She said all that?

Approximately. Of course, it loses something in the translation.

She's certainly broadcasting a lot of hostility.

It

is

your problem, too.

Now, look, if Mr. Burns' dog dies of a broken heart and goes to that great

boneyard up in the sky, he is going to fire me, and then we're both going to

starve. If you don't steady yourself, I'll fire you, and we'll both get

I told you exactly what to do.

Now, if you don't mind, I've got lots of work on this ship of mine before it can

ever fly again.

Well, surely that immense, huge Martian brain of yours can come up with a better

idea. No, it's the perfect solution.

Take her out, romance her, wrench, please, and restore her faith in the

your species.

I happen to be one of those guys who can't get excited about belligerent

They just don't turn me on. Ah, the problem is to turn her on.

Bring back the scent of roses on the summer air. Oh. The silver light of the

moon. Sure. The sound of birds singing. And what if she starts hearing wedding

bells, hmm?

Marsha, that is dangerous.

It could happen, you know. I'm not exactly unattractive. And you're not

modest, either.

Well, I have a certain amount of pride and personal integrity.

You want to keep your job, don't you? I'm not going to do it.

Ready, George?

Ready, Chloe?

Three, two, one, go.

I'm terribly sorry, George. Heal, heal.

I'm terribly sorry. Yes, oh, well.

All that money for an obedience course, all that dog does on command is eat.

Chloe's usually so well -behaved. She's just been full of the devil today.

Yes, I know what you mean.

Look, this may not be very important, but my name is Tim O 'Hara. I'm Marcia

Carson. Oh, well, it's been very nice bumping into you.

Oh, here.

Thank you.

Well, bye.

Yes, bye now.

Bye.

Oh, wait a minute.

We've got the wrong dog.

I'm sorry. I'm afraid I get a little flustered meeting you and all. And,

with the birds singing and the scent of roses in the air.

Hey, well, look at that.

It'd be a shame to part them. Oh, we couldn't. No. Well, come on.

Chloe. Chloe. Well, that's George.

Here we go.

Boy, look at that dog eat.

Ah, how you earthlings fool yourselves.

You keep saying that the seed of love is the heart, but obviously it's the

stomach. And love itself is just another form of indigestion.

Well,

anyway, that is a happy dog.

You know, for a while there, I was worried about him. You were worried

your job.

Well, anyway, he's making progress.

From what I've been able to observe, so have you.

It's a funny thing, but Marcia turned out to be a very nice girl.

You know, for a while there, I thought she was childish and immature, but I was

wrong.

No, as well as being mature and thoughtful, she's really very beautiful.

And you didn't even know she existed.

Yeah. You can live right next door to a girl and never realize just how

wonderful she is.

Hello there.

Oh, hi, hon.

And have you noticed just how beautifully she dresses?

Oh, it's... It's really nothing.

Now, what do you mean it's nothing? It takes a lot of thought and imagination

for a girl to look like that. Well, I guess it's just sort of a knack. Some

people have it. Some people don't.

It's nice to be one of the lucky ones.

Yeah. Because I know that Marcia doesn't have that much money.

Who?

Marcia. Carson. The girl that lives next door.

Oh, by the way, George and I would like to thank you very much for all the help.

Who was all that about?

I don't know.

I've given up tuning in on the youngsters of this planet.

And the emotional turbulence of you so -called adults is bad enough.

But when you get involved with the opposite sex... I

suppose he can't help being basically a butterfly.

Flipping from one flower to another.

Sipping from the cup of love.

But never drinking deeply.

Oh, Tim.

Oh, he means what he says when he's saying it. But the minute he sees

flower, off he flips.

He is good -looking and charming.

He just doesn't realize how he hurts people.

I know what you mean.

I always seem to be running into that tag.

I sympathize with you.

Deeply.

You butterfly.

Marsha?

A butterfly. That's what she called me.

Well, maybe George knows what it's all about.

George, come here a minute.

I think you just lost a friend.

George, come over here.

What's the matter with you?

Did you hear what he said?

Well, I missed the lyric, but the melody was familiar.

He says it's all our fault for interfering.

If you'll kindly remember, you asked for my help.

That suits me just fine.

We've been fired.

By him?

And he says he's never going to eat again.

Hello again.

Anything wrong?

Well, yes, there is. As a matter of fact, I just had a girl slam a door in

face. Really? I can't imagine any girl slamming a door on your face. Well, she

did.

Whom, if I may ask? Marsha Carson.

I told you, the girl who lives next door.

You don't know her by any chance, do you? Oh, just slightly. Of course, I'm

surprised. I happen to have heard a rumor she hates all men.

But that's because she just had a traumatic emotional experience.

That makes two of us.

Three, Colin George.

She was deeply in love with a man who ran off to Mexico without even saying

goodbye. Hmm. Well, his big mistake was saying hello in the first place.

Uh... What was the man's name?

I don't know.

Well, I've got to go cover a store at the airport.

I'm awfully sorry about your unpleasant experience, Tim.

I guess some women like Marsha never mature.

And others are quite mature, even in their teens.

Oh, yeah, well... Oh, George, will you please try to eat something while I'm

gone?

George!

Chloe.

Chloe, what a terrible thing to say.

I'm used to humans being irrational, but not dogs.

All I want is a little information. I'm trying to help you.

What do you mean, stay off your side?

Chloe.

Chloe.

Wait a minute, Chloe.

Can we talk this over?

George?

George.

George.

I have a few things to discuss with you.

Front and center.

That's better.

At ease.

You are going to have to beat some sense into your girlfriend's head.

I need some information, and you are going to have to get it for me.

Hmm? Hmm?

All right, now, fall in and follow me.

All right, now, George, in you go.

Make it quick and don't take guru for an answer.

George! George!

Hey, George.

Well, what did you find out, huh?

Good work, George.

Operator, I want to put in a person -to -person call to Mexico.

Yes. The name of the party is, uh... Howard Loomis.

And I believe you can find him at the Del Famoso Hotel.

You! No, you don't.

I don't want to talk to you. Try and stop yourself.

I was hoping I'd never see you again.

Well, you almost never did.

And then I got this anonymous phone call saying you were involved with another

man. I took the first plane up here.

Well, you can take the first plane back.

And there's no man in my life, including you.

It looks bad.

Doesn't look good.

Well, there's nothing so painful as unrequited love.

Believe me, I know.

He's been carrying on like one of the great tragic lovers of history.

Yes. Dante and Beatrice.

Anthony and Cleopatra.

George and Chloe.

Well, I give up. I'm going to have to get him back to my editor while he is

still alive.

It was an emergency, Marsha. And I not only wrote to you, I said in the letter

was going to marry you when I got back.

Marry me?

Sure. And what other sweet things did you say in that letter?

Listen, the only reason I wrote to you is because I couldn't get you on the

phone the night I left.

Well, I never got that letter.

Here's all my mail.

Nothing but magazines.

Well, I might as well call Mr. Burns and tell him to cut short his vacation.

Take care of joyful George here.

Oh, boy, he's going to love that.

Hold it, Tim. Not now. Not now.

Why not? He's already got one paw on the dog, Morg. You've got to give it one

more try. Go over and see Marsha right now. I have a feeling she needs you.

Yeah?

Right now.

Yeah.

Tim. Huh?

Isn't that crawling?

Yeah.

Oh, Howard.

Such a beautiful letter.

Now you know why I was upset.

When a guy asks a girl to marry him, he expects some kind of an answer.

Here's your hand.

Marcia, it's Tim.

Be right there, Tim.

Hi, Tim. Hi. Listen, I just thought I'd stop by and... I'm glad you did.

I want to apologize about my rudeness.

Oh, no, forget it. Look, I couldn't stay angry with a girl like you. As a matter

of fact, I thought you might need some help, so I thought I'd just stop in.

Isn't that amazing?

I do.

Oh, yeah.

Come on.

No, get in there. Come on, we're going somewhere.

I wondered if you'd mind keeping Chloe while Howard and I go to Las Vegas to

married. Howard?

Howard?

This is our good friend and neighbor, Tim O 'Hara.

My fiancée, Howard Loomis.

Oh, any fiancée of Marsha's is certainly a friend of mine.

I wish you both, well, the very, very best of luck.

Well,

it's been very nice chatting with you.

Goodbye.

Yeah, she needed me, all right.

Take care of Chloe.

Look at it this way.

You may have lost a girl, but you've gained a dog.

another friend of George's.

Look, I'm a busy Martian. I don't have time to straighten out the problems of

all of George's friends.

No, no, no. That is final.

Oh,

all right.

What is it?

All right, what is it?

you sure you're not making this up?

Really?

Really?

What a planet for me to get marooned on.