All language subtitles for My Dead Ex s01e05 The Z Word

It's like something out of a horror
movie.

A local boy dies and comes back from the
dead thanks to a pair of magical

necklaces. And if that sounds like the
stupidest thing you've ever heard,

not alone.

So what do you plan on doing with
Benjamin Bloom? Well, if this were the

we'd haul him off to some creepy
government lab and perform all sorts of

tests on him.

But in this day and age, human rights
groups wouldn't let us get away with any

of that anymore.

God, I miss the 80s.

Come on, let's go, let's go, let's go.

Mrs. Bloom, how does it feel to have
your son come back from the dead?

How do you think it feels? This is the
greatest day of my life.

Benji, come home.

It's her, it's her, it's her. Charlie
Albright, tell us, what's it like dating

zombie?

Oh, Ben's not a zombie.

I mean, you know, he's dead, but just
still himself, just dead. Also, we're

dating.

Um, don't, wait, don't cut that last
part because I don't want Luke to think

that Ben and I are dating if he sees it.

Um, you know what? And that, that part,
the last part, just, you cut that

because I don't want Luke to know that I
don't want him to know that Ben and I

are not dating. Uh, we're live.

Oh, fuck.

Again, just wanted to apologize for not
letting you know that I rose from the

dead. No, no, don't apologize, Benji.

We're just glad you're back.

Well, should we eat?

Oh, yes, please. I am starving.

Good, because I made something special
for you, Ben.

Now, I hope it's okay that it's a cow
brain. We tried to get a human one off

the black market.

But Bob couldn't figure out how to use
the dark web. You know how your father

with computers.

Is something wrong, sweetie?

I thought zombies love brains.

Oh, my God, Mom.

I cannot believe you just used the Z
word.

Zombie?

It's not PC.

Oh, I'm sorry.

What do you prefer to be called?

Biter, walker, roamer, rotter, lurker.

We've been watching a lot of Walking
Dead, you know, for research.

He's not a zombie at all, Mrs. Bloom.
He's a pescatarian.

Oh, okay. So you want me to eat fish
brains, then? No, Mom. No, no brains.

Okay? Not a cow, not a fish, not a
human.

Then what do you want to eat?

Salad. I'll just take some salad. Thank
you.

Thank you for having us over, Mrs.
Bloom. It all looks really good.

Of course, dear.

Bob and I thought it would be a good
idea if we all sat down and discussed

situation.

What's there to discuss?

Well, Charlie and Ben have to be around
each other. That's going to require some

coordination.

Right. I was wondering why I was invited
here.

This is a custody hearing.

Custody hearings, that's a little
extreme, don't you think? Bob and I just

to make sure that we get to see our son.

And you will.

But obviously they should be spending
the bulk of their time at our house.

Obviously? Why is that obvious?

Because Charlie's a junior in high
school.

She's got her future to worry about.

And what about my son's future?

Christ, Mary, your son is dead. He
doesn't have a future.

It's okay.

Really. Really.

You'll see me every day. Before and
after school. Isn't that right, Charlie?

Yeah. No.

Definitely. Definitely will. See?

It's like I'll be around more than when
I was alive.

Everybody wins.

As long as I get to see you every day, I
guess that's fine.

A cowboy isn't half bad.

So, are you nervous for tomorrow?

It's a big day for you.

It's your first day back to school with
Ben Bloom.

No, not really.

I mean, once you die, wake up in a
coffin, crawl through six feet of dirt

emerge from your own grave, there's not
a lot to be nervous about anymore.

That's a good point.

What about you? Are you nervous for your
homecoming presentation?

Like a traditional dictionary sense of
the word.

Yeah. But, like, I don't know.

Say English wasn't, like, your first
language, or you're suffering from,

traumatic brain injury, and, like,
everything you say just means the exact

opposite of what you mean, then, like,
no, no, I'm not nervous at all.

Relax. Okay, everything you've shown me
so far has been amazing.

You're gonna kill it, Charlie.

Hit your... Remember those notes we used
to send to each other in fourth grade?

Like, secrets we were too afraid to
admit to anyone else?

Of course.

I remember I wrote you a note.

I think I was nervous for a math test.

No, it wasn't math. It was social
studies. And you were nervous because

found out the night before you were
studying the wrong chapter.

Yeah, and Ms. Farnsworth caught you with
it, so she threatened to, like, make

you get up in front of the class and
read it. So you just, like, crumbled it

into a ball and swallowed it.

How could I forget? They got lodged in
my throat.

I never understood why you did that.

What do you mean?

I don't know. It's just such a stupid
note. Like, who cares if you read it in

front of the class?

I cared.

That secret was meant for me.

It doesn't matter how stupid it was. I
wasn't going to show anybody else.

So, I made up the air mattress in my
office down the hall.

Is that going to be close enough for
your little magic whatever to work?

That should be perfect, Mrs. Albright.
Thank you. And, Charlie, seriously,

worry about your presentation.

You're going to do great.

Thanks, Ben. All right.

So, Charlotte, sorry for how I may have
come across at dinner.

It's just a lot for me to process.

I know, and all I care about is your
future. You know that, right?

It's just my job as a mother to make
sure you stay on the...

And I just would hate for all of this to
make you lose focus on who you are.

You know who you are, don't you, Cookie?

It's so weird being at school out of my
Crad Barson costume.

I gotta admit, I'm gonna miss the guy.

R .I .P., Cradley.

Left us too soon, bro.

Great, that's just what we need. Okay,
um, let's sneak around the side, okay?

Keep your head down.

Don't you think you're putting the other
students at risk by allowing Ben into

your school?

Reseda Hills does not discriminate
against anyone.

Male or female, black, white, or brown,
alive or dead.

Everyone here is treated with the same
respect. In fact, I expect students and

faculty... Here he is.

Ben.

Ben Blue.

So, this is what it feels like to have
everyone notice you.

Just so you know, this is the worst it's
gonna get.

You know, everyone just needs a little
time to warm up, do you?

Sup, doobies?

Wait, is that a thing?

Sup, doobies? Is that a thing the kids
say?

Officer Maloof, what are you doing here?
The school board wanted more security,

so they hired me. I'm Ben's escort.

Oh, sorry.

There must have been a mistake, because
I told the escort service I wanted a

leggy redhead.

Because escorts are prostitutes.

Oh, man.

That is good.

I like this kid.

Is Ben in some kind of danger?

No, no. It's for the other students.

You know, in case, uh...

Ben gets hungry, starts gnawing on the
other kids. I got a bash in his brains

with a flashlight or whatever.

How do you kill a zombie again?

I'm not a big horror movie fan.

Just so you know, this is the worst it's
gonna get.

And so, um... Always think about, um...

The writer's intention.

And how, um... Dixon?

And syntax.

Really, um, aid.

Character development.

You know what?

I think that's enough for today.

Class dismissed.

Go on.

Get out of here.

That was so interesting.

Never really thought about how using
first person can shape the narrative.

Mm -hmm.

Yeah, that's so interesting.

Hey, guys, can I get some space?

Oh, okay.

Yeah, I just can't really concentrate,
and I have a lot of homework to do, and

just, with all the... Can I get some
space?

Yeah, no, I get it.

Besides, this will give me more time to
spend with Officer Maloof here. We're

becoming fast friends.

Isn't that right, buddy?

You are not, under any circumstances, to
touch me. I am an officer of the law.

See, Charlie?

As friends.

Charlie.

Hey. There you are. I've been looking
everywhere for you.

Hey.

Hi.

Hey, what's up? Uh, right.

Sorry.

I was wondering, is there any way that
you can do your presentation after

today?

What? No, there's supposed to be
tomorrow.

Yeah, but Janet, you know, she's getting
her neck brace off then, and, well, I

suggested we do it without her, but, you
know, she's student council president,

so whatever Janet wants, Janet gets.

Do you think, is there any way you can
maybe do it today?

Yeah. I mean, you know, my drawings are
done. I just don't really know what I'm

going to say yet.

I'm sure your drawings will speak for
themselves.

Okay, sure.

Yeah? Yeah, today it is. All right,
perfect.

Great.

How's Ben doing, by the way?

He's good.

Yeah? You should talk to him.

Yeah, maybe later.

I get the feeling he's still mad at me
for flirting with you at his wake.

What makes you say that?

Nah, no reason.

Anyway, see you later.

Hey, want me to go in there with you?

You know, for moral support?

Nah, more than paying attention to me.

Not staring at the dead kid in the room.

Fair enough.

Hey, Charlie.

We're ready for you.

Knock them dead.

Um, okay, so I didn't have a ton of time
to work on these, so they look a little

rushed, but...

That's weird.

I've literally, I've never said whoopsie
daisy in my life, so.

Okay. Should I just start presentating?

Nope, that's not a word.

Presenting. That's what I meant.

Just go ahead and start whenever you're
ready, Charlie.

Cool.

So, I wanted to go with kind of a
fairytale vibe, but not in like a cheesy

Disney way, more of like a...

Tim Burton with a mix of Edward Gorey.
So we have a castle exterior along one

the gym walls.

Right there.

We have a haunted forest where people
can take their photos.

Like so.

For the dance floor, I thought we could
do a green meadow with flowers and like

a cobblestone path.

And that is what I got. That is... What
I

did. So I don't really know how to
finish these things, but should I bow?

that's weird. I'm not going to bow.

The end.

All right.

Well, I don't know how everyone else
feels, but it seems like a slam dunk to

So.

Does anyone have any questions for
Charlie?

Or... Go ahead, Bryce.

Yeah, so, uh, great presentation.

Loved everything you did. Uh, one
question.

If Ben were to bite me, would I turn
into a zombie, too?

Uh, no.

Because Ben's not a zombie.

Uh, but if Ben bit me, would I turn into
whatever he is? No.

Um, and you really don't need to worry
about it, because Ben would...

Never bite you.

Like, ever.

So is Ben, like, a slow zombie from,
like, Night of the Living Dead? Or is

like, a fast zombie from, like, 28 Days
Later?

Because if he's a fast zombie, we could
totally use that speed on the track

team. No, see, that's not going to work
because Ben isn't a slow or fast zombie

because he's not a zombie at all.

Right.

Yeah.

Does anybody have any questions that
aren't about Ben Bloom?

This isn't about Ben Bloom? Great.

It's about zombies in general. So how
come in zombie movies, they're never

strong enough to break through car
windows or glass doors, but they're able

tear through your stomach with their
hands? Makes no sense to me.

I, uh, I don't, I don't know. It's
actually, it's a, it's a really good

Toby.

Do we have any other questions?

About Charlie's presentation?

How's our girl doing?

I can't really tell. I think she might
be doing okay.

Guys, can we just settle down, please?

Guys? Guys, stop! Stop!

Hello? Stop!

What is wrong with you guys?

Ben is a sweet, compassionate guy. He's
never hurt any of you.

I used to think the school was really
progressive.

But, I mean, you guys are all just
treating him like he's some monster. I

yeah, like, Ben is undead.

But he's still a teenager.

Sure, Ben was a sweet guy when he was
alive.

But he's dead now.

Yeah, I've seen Pet Sematary Charlie,
and I know what dying can do to people.

It changes them.

What do you think, Janet?

What do I think?

I think Charlie's right.

We pride ourselves on how progressive
this school is. I mean, we bend over

backwards to make students feel
included, to embrace those who are

than us.

Guys, we're a student council.

It is our duty to make sure all students
feel represented.

And that should include zombies.

No, Ben is not a zombie. You know what
we should do to make Ben feel more

included? We should make Homecoming
zombie -themed.

OMG, that is an amazing idea. Yeah,
we're doing that.

Guys, all right, let's not forget about
Charlie's fairy tale idea, you know? I

mean, she put a lot of work into it.

Zombie! Zombie!

Zombie! Zombie!

Zombie! Zombie!

Zombie! Zombie! Zombie!

Zombie!

Wait, here she comes.

How'd it go?

Charlie! Charlie, wait!

Go to her.

Yeah, I'm trying. Just go to her, Ben.

Then let me go.

Charlie!

Charlie, I'm sorry they didn't go with
your theme. Why are you sorry?

It's my fault for putting so much effort
into it. I knew they were going to hate

my drawings. They didn't hate your
drawings.

Even if they did, who cares?

I care, Ben.

I care. I know you're dead and that you
don't really understand anymore, but

I... Whoa, wait.

Of course I understand.

Yeah, sure, a knife doesn't hurt me, but
rejection still things.

I can still feel anger and envy and fear
and love.

I might not feel things anymore, but
that doesn't mean I don't have feelings.

All right.

How long have you been holding on to
that one?

So long.

Like, day one of being dead.

Can I show you something real quick?

I don't know, Ben. I really just want to
go home.

Tell you what, I'm just going to start
walking this way, okay?

And if we get 30 feet apart, that's on
you.

Ben!

That's not fair!

Are we allowed to be up here?

Yeah, I come up here all the time. It's
my little oasis away from school.

It's adorable.

Not the word I would use, but thanks.

Have a seat.

Did you do this all by yourself?

Well, the janitor helped me add to it,
but yeah, it's mostly me.

I like to come up here and do homework,
read, think, listen to music, whatever.

I mean, no wonder nobody knew who you
were. You were always up here.

What's that way?

What's this?

That is a secret that I'm too afraid to
admit to anybody else.

Good.

Because neither do I.

Really?

Really, yeah.

Why do you seem so surprised by that?

I don't know why. You just always seem
really sure of yourself.

Well, just because I blurt out the first
thing that comes to my mind doesn't

mean I know what I'm talking about.

I'm just as scared of my future as every
other kid here.

Huh.

I didn't know that.

Maybe we're looking at it the wrong way.

Maybe before we know who we are, we need
to figure out what we're not.

And what are you not?

I'm... I'm not quiet.

No.

Definitely not.

I am not my mother.

I'm not capable of hiding my feelings.

I am not a good public speaker.

I'm not a zombie.

I am not perfect.

Yeah, but pretty close.

That's your dipshiver.

I know.

What? It's my secret. I'm not sharing it
with anybody else.

Oh my God, what have I done this time?

Do you know that feeling when you first

wake up?

You forget, you forget, I forgot my
name.

If my priority is taking my surprise,
there are dots in my eyes.

I'm telling lies to get out of
socializing.

If my priority is taking my surprise,
there are dots in my eyes.

I'm telling lies to get out of
socializing.