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Hey, everybody.
Coffee's ready. And it's hot and fresh, just like me.
Hey, Judy.
Huh? You forgot full -bodied.
It's the only way he'll learn.
I'm awesome.
No, you're not, dude. Don't lie.
I'm awesome. I'm driving around in my mom's ride. I'm awesome. A quarter of my
life gone by.
Well, look who's here. Can you not bug me right now? I've got a lot of marking
to do.
Marking I didn't think I'd have, to be honest, when I started teaching phys ed.
It's hard to focus in here. It's very loud.
Well, here's a thought, Jerry.
Don't do your work in a bar.
No, here's a thought. Why don't they just be quiet and be professional? Be
courteous to others, patrons in the bar, working.
I know them. They're teachers.
Teachers? Where do they teach?
Central. That explains it. Public school.
Shocker. No manners.
Give them a break, Jerry. They're on work to rule.
On work to what to what?
Disappointing, but not surprising. Okay, Jerry.
Work to rule means that you do only the minimum amount of work as stipulated in
your contract and not an ounce more. Work to rule. You got a coach. What
coaching? No, no extracurricular.
No.
What about...
Pickup duty, lunch duty, all the... No, no duty. If you arrive at 9, you leave
at 3 .15.
And they still get paid the same? Yes, they get the same pay.
What about marking? Do they have to mark?
Go into the dance floor, Jerry.
Watch if you want, but you will become aroused.
What the rule?
I like the sounds of this thing.
Hey, uh, mom, can you help me with my bag?
Okay, fine.
Nice.
I'd love you to do that for me.
All right.
Have a good day at school.
Hold on.
You got a little too much on your face. Here, here, I'll do it.
Little Oedipus? Sup?
I don't know whether to take a cold shower or call the cops.
Good luck with that, Mom.
Simon. Hey. Have we ever gone on work to rule here?
Yes, we have. Yeah, before you got here in 2008.
I had to cancel the science fair. Bad year.
Oof. John O 'Connor, this one kid, he was set to be the next Elon Musk. And
the canceled fair broke his passion for science altogether.
Last I heard, he was working cash at a blinds to go. All because of a work to
rule. All right, great, thank you.
We have to go on work to rule again.
Really? Yeah, not exactly the reaction I was expecting.
In fact, you don't just go on work to rule. It's more of a negotiating tactic
after a series of unaddressed grievances.
Then let's air some grievances.
Air some grievances? Okay, like what?
Uh, Lisa. Lisa's a grievance. Yeah, but is that work to rule worthy? What's a
work to rule grievance, then? I mean, I guess we haven't had a raise in a year
and a half.
There it is.
Money. That's our grievance. Yeah, but I see the school's perspective on that. I
mean, enrollment is down.
How's that our fault?
What, the burden's supposed to fall on us financially?
Not a bad point. I've never seen you so fiery, Simon.
Is it fiery?
I love angry Simon.
I've been angrier. Furious Simon, here he comes.
Okay. Don't do it for me. We do it for John O 'Connor. Does he stand to
Because then I am all in. That's the spirit.
We're doing this.
Okay.
Listen up, please.
Are you okay?
Actually, you know what? I have a lot of prep to catch up on, so work period.
Can I just ask a question about... No questions, Lucy, not today.
Got a lot of work to get done over here, so... Hey, Kathy.
Sorry I didn't get back to you sooner, but I think I'm coming down with a nasty
little UTI. Is it normal to feel like your lady bits have been dipped?
And hot sauce?
Um, miss, you might want to... What did I just say? I'm getting fired up over
here. Yeah, we know. What? What's that? What's that? What's that?
God.
Ow.
No more talking.
And it's not just our low salaries.
We don't get enough prep time.
You don't do prep, Jerry.
Because I don't have enough time, Emma. Chicken and the egg. You should be the
most angry you're a librarian without a library.
Yeah, well, I don't love that.
Anyone else? What do you got, people?
Oh, I got something.
Okay. What do you got, Frank?
Don't help me.
We always have to babysit kids when their parents show up late.
You are right, sir. And that kid is always Philip.
And you guys, Philip is a lame -o.
Sir!
We don't have to hang out with Philip more than we have to, right?
None of us want to hang out with Philip. Thank you, Frank.
What else? What else? What else? Malik, find a gun on their desk.
Did you say he found a... Did he find a gun? It's a gum?
Gun or gum? It doesn't matter. Just things from teachers. Sorry, Mr. Malik.
Okay. I've already had a turn. Just a minute.
I'm sorry. It's like a rubric?
Yes. Me too.
Trick for you. Take the stickers off.
Put it on the cube.
Solved. Put it down. You know, I don't think that I've ever said these words in
this order, but I think that Jerry...
You might have a point.
Thank you, Emma.
Has anyone seen baby Craig?
Not the issue, Robert.
Right now, everyone, not Malik, has some complaints about our contracts.
I swear we could talk about whatever you want when it's contract renewal time.
Right now, I'm dealing with something much bigger. Not good enough.
Because we declare... No, don't declare anything. Let me finish. Please don't
declare anything. This was a moment... Don't declare anything.
We declare work to rule!
I can't find my baby. I did it.
Nice job.
Nice job.
Way to come on board, buddy.
Hold the signs nice and high, people. I took a while to make these. Nice and
high.
No,
we're not quite there yet, Emma.
Okay.
Pick mine. I'm tired of holding it. I'm not a phys ed teacher.
You're not a teacher, period. Who cares? Way to stand together, Jerry.
All right.
Keep holding the signs out. Let the students see them.
I've got to say, Jerry, I really applaud your hard work and dedication to the
cause of working less. Thanks, pal.
Okay. Remember our work to rule rules today.
We go in at 9 o 'clock sharp as a unified front. We do the bare minimum,
then we leave at 315 sharp as a group.
Sorry, I'm late.
I was looking everywhere for my lucky black boxers. Why? I forgot to put them
on. Mr. Hunt, are we still meeting before class to review the lesson?
Of course.
What? Sorry, Charlie.
I need your help, sir. I could fail. You're going to fail. Let's work to
Charlie. Get out of here before I change my mind. But I want you to change your
mind. Get!
Hey, I'm proud of you.
You screwed Charlie over, but you did the right thing.
And you stuck with us.
Okay, everybody.
T minus ten minutes, and we go in as a group.
What are you, Mark?
Why don't you just leave me alone?
We have a crab. We have a crab crossing the picket line right here. It's a scab,
you idiot.
You know that if you open the book once in a while.
Sorry, I'm on spare.
Work to rule. Get out of here.
I don't even know who that was.
Sorry, Sethian. It ain't so play.
So vicious.
Work to rule?
You look great, though.
If you do something like that again, I'm going to knock you out. You can't knock
anyone out. Hello?
Hi. Hi.
Hi.
What's this?
Huh? Really?
Blocking the whole hall?
We're trying to go through.
That's your word.
Work to rule, though. I love it.
And I feel like I've got nowhere to turn.
No one understands me. And I'm all alone.
No one listens.
Oh, ah, it's three -fourth rule. Sorry, sport.
Gotta run.
Work to rule.
What did I say about being on time?
I have to find a visitor.
Okay, fair enough.
All right, everybody, T minus 15 seconds. We leave as a group, a unified
of teacher... What?
Who's going to wait with me? My parents usually pick me up late.
I'm sorry, Phillip, but today we can't because... I get it, we're too old.
Bingo! Let's go!
some work to rule business.
Oh, what's this?
It's just a little gift, miss. We wanted to cheer you up.
Oh, well thanks guys.
Guess what? You just earned yourself another work period.
Hey Kathy, so the students just gave me a two -four of cranberry juice as a
gift. I'm already dealing with a UTI, and now I've got to lug this crappy gift
around. Speaking of which, it's only gotten worse.
I don't even know how this happened. It's not like Simon and I had relations.
I mean, we got to second, maybe third base.
How much bacteria is on a showerhead?
Child with a gun.
Child with a gun.
You rang?
Delivery for you.
My hubby is so sweet. This is our six -month anniversary.
Swing him around.
Oh!
Well, he does say I am that.
He's the front or the back?
Who knows?
A little TMI there.
Oh, my God.
Something wrong?
No. Everything is perfect.
Are you sure?
Are you sure you're not horrified that your tight pants are actually from your
creepy, pervy stepson?
You read the card.
That's the least of your worries, sister.
I don't know what I'm going to do with him.
Well, obviously, you have to set some stepmother -stepson boundaries.
You're right.
I do.
Hey.
You're taking them?
They're really soft.
Yeah.
Well, good news on a couple of fronts. One, I found baby Craig safe and sound,
sleep in a drawer in my desk.
And two, I took your grievances to the board of directors, and good news. Looks
like they're willing to play ball. So, yay.
Oh, wow. That is good news. Thank you. Great news. Yeah, science fair season's
around the corner. I mean, a couple of items were non -negotiable, but we
expected that, right?
Baby steps.
There's always a loophole with these bureaucratic suits. No deal, right,
Maybe we could hear him out first, Jerry. No, Emma, that's what he wants.
They want to break us, but we don't let them break us. We stick together. We do
the very bare minimum for as long as possible. That's what we do here. Don't
mean so that we can increase our salaries and improve our benefits?
Sure, that too.
Jerry's got a point.
Thank you.
So, Alex, I wanted to get together today to talk about a few things.
All right, starting with the talking. I see.
Okay.
So, look, even though I look a lot younger than your mom, I'm still very
mother figure in your life. Do you understand what I'm saying?
Not at all.
What a lovely surprise.
Hey. Hi.
Isn't this nice? Taking advantage of work to roll to spend time with the
we love?
More like drooling in the sunshine to roll, am I right?
Hey,
look at us. Like you two in the future. Yeah.
Ice cream dripping down my fingers.
Oh, let me get that.
No reason to waste good cream.
Oh, yeah. No, no, we shouldn't waste it. Oh, you got some cream in the cracker.
Yeah.
Perfect.
Thank you. Oh, you're very welcome. Oh, maple.
Order envy. Order envy.
Wait a minute, mister.
What's up? You have schmutz on your face. No, I don't. You do.
No, I don't. I have schmutz on my face. Waste not, want not.
Go get it.
It's good cream.
Looks like you got a little drip there, I think. No, no, no, enough.
Alex, no. Hey, look, I am your stepmother, and you are my stepson. And
that you've been acting is completely inappropriate. And from now on, there
be no more tight pants. There's not going to be any more whispering in my
when I'm sleeping. And no more accidental pop -ins when I'm in the
there certainly won't be any licking of anything.
Understood. You are...
That's approved.
I got to loosen up, lady. Yeah, really loosen up.
Nobody came in before nine, right? No.
Okay, perfect.
Where are all the students?
Robert locked them out.
What? With no teacher supervision under work to rule, the board deemed the
school unsafe for students.
Let me get this straight.
There are no students right now in the class I'm already late for. Not a one,
no. What about my second period?
Second save is the first.
Third grade? Yeah, sort of just a full day thing, Jerry.
God knows when it'll end. And we're still getting paid.
Yeah, as long as we show up, we get paid.
So we're already doing the bare minimum, and now we're getting paid, and there's
no students on top of that.
Yeah, but Jerry, I don't know if you're understanding the magnitude of this
situation. The biggest downside to being a teacher is the students.
This is perfect!
Excuse me.
Bring her to work with me. What am I supposed to do with her now?
I wish we could help, but we aren't the ones who locked out the kids.
I have to admit, this is a pretty sweet deal.
Isn't it? Look how good we're getting.
Are you positive you're getting paid?
Of course I'm positive.
That's the best part.
And there's no kids.
Hey, I should see if I can get you a job here. We'll both get paid to play
basketball forever.
I don't think you're going to pull that off.
Of course I can pull it off.
I'll just add it to our list of demands.
I'll say, hey, you don't hire Bill? We're staying on work to rule.
That makes no sense.
But just playing along with the scenario, what would I even teach?
You're missing the whole point. You don't have to teach anything. We just
out. There's no kids here.
Yet we get paid.
Don't you get it?
I like it.
No, I just shoot.
What did I miss? What did you miss? That could be forever.
Miss, miss, miss, miss, miss, miss, miss, miss.
Oh, not your day, buddy. I didn't come to watch you shoot free throws while I
get the ball for you every time.
What's going on here?
Just signing contracts.
Excuse me? I have yours right here, Jerry.
Hello, Bill.
Anyway, I never agreed to any contract. What are you doing? That may be true,
but you know what? I think the rest of the staff is actually quite anxious to
get back to work.
Guy, stop. What are you doing? We're not signing anything.
The terms were actually quite reasonable.
All good things come to an end.
But at least we got a raise, right? That's right. And that's all you're
hero man.
Stop. Yeah. We got 3%. It's more than I've seen in years.
It's giving me a new lease on life.
3%. Mine doesn't say 3%. Mine says a quarter percent. Who else got 3 %?
I'm not doing this for a quarter percent raise. No way.
No way.
We are going back on work to rule right now.
Every one of us, except you. Right now, work to rule.
No kids for a whole year.
Watch us.
You know, the thing about power in numbers is that there isn't that much
and there aren't any numbers.
You know what I think, Jerry? I think someone should get the hell out of here.
Yeah.
Makes sense.
This is because of you.
Simon, can I have some of your rice? We could split it.
Just do an email wire transfer.
Every paycheck, just email me some money.
See ya.
Wait, do you need help with your backpack?
No, I've got it. Wait, Alex, hang on.
Have a good day.
No, just stop.
Alex, you can still hug your stepmom.
What if it's a gateway hug? Okay, I kind of think you're being a little
overdramatic here.
Sorry, I wouldn't want to make anything inappropriate.
Just handshake him.
Nothing wrong with a handshake.
Nothing at all.
Gross.
20 minutes left, everyone.
Miss, I'm having trouble concentrating.
Oh, do you know what? Just try to focus, Stefan, okay?
Let me tell you, if there's one thing more annoying than my UTI, it's this
in my ass thing. Stefan!
Speaking of which, this UTI is really flaring up.
Miss... Maybe you should stop using it. Lucy, let me ask you a quick question.
Who's the teacher?
This guy.
I make the call. Not you.
Je suis le professeur.
Comprendo? You got it?
Got it.
Now back to your test.
Je suis le professeur.
Where was I? Oh, yeah. My UTI.
Come to think of it, I'm not so sure this thing's a UTI at all.
I found a photo online that is hauntingly close to what I'm seeing in
down there.
And for comparison, here's a side -by -side of what I've got.
What?
Well,
have a good evening, Mr. Duncan.
Come on, Robert.
Parents still aren't here. How long do I have to stay here?
I guess as long as it takes.
I'll tell you what I don't care for, string cheese.
I make so many choices every day, and the last thing I need is more waste than
can eat cheese, right?
Sure. Do you know who makes terrible cheese?
No, I give up.
Goats.
Goats? Goats don't make cheese.
They produce milk that turns into cheese.
It doesn't.
They're just making stuff up.
Why?
Goats.
Tortoise. Awesome.
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