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You like a tissue, Amanda Susan?
I'm good.
Okay, why would you come to school sick? Now you're going to get the rest of a
sick. Someone got me sick, so I'm paying it forward.
Circle of life.
Circle of life? That's not the circle of life. Circle of life's when a dolphin
eats a giraffe.
What are you talking about? Okay, let's go. Hand in your assignments. Right
here. There's a spot right here.
Right here, right here, right here. Everybody right here. Okay, nice pile.
Nice.
That's not the spot.
That's not a pile. You're just doing this on purpose.
Thank you.
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
What? I'm not touching that with your snot all over it. Get it out of here.
And how are you going to grade me? B minus.
Done. B plus.
B plus? I'm not... Get out of here. Now it's a C. Get out of my face.
Where's my... Honestly?
You can't cover your mouth when you sneeze, Amanda Susan.
That's disgusting.
Get out of my face.
I wouldn't drink that if I were you.
Why wouldn't you drink it? It's water.
It's good for you.
God, it's all over my... I'm awesome.
No, you're not, dude. Don't lie.
I'm awesome. I'm driving around in my mom's ride. I'm awesome. A quarter of my
life gone by.
Gentlemen, welcome.
I'll do this. Okay.
And gentlemen, hello, hi, hi, coach.
Please. But I was working this side of the room first.
Head on the swivel.
We have ladies here. Okay.
Same thing I teach them. Head on the swivel.
All right.
First game. First game is the biggest game of the year for us. Why? Because it
sets the tone.
And we play this team back -to -back nights. We're going to win tonight, and
we're going to win tomorrow.
And then let's win for the rest of our lives.
Please stop interrupting.
Sorry. Now, I'm going to need a hero. I'm holding out for a hero for the rest
the night. And he's got to be strong.
He's got to be fast.
But he does have to be fast. And he's got to be fresh from the
fight. Or she.
Or she.
Although it's probably a he.
Because I can't think of a female.
hero we've ever had. Who's it gonna be? Who's gonna be our hero? Is it gonna be
you? Is it gonna be you?
Nope. Is it gonna be you?
Or you?
I think we get it. We don't get it. Because I'm going around the room. I
there. Why would I stop there when I can go the whole way? You gotta stop
interrupting, coach.
Where was I?
Was I you there? Did I say you? Is it gonna be you?
Is it gonna be you? Are you gonna be the hero? Are you gonna be the hero? Or are
you gonna be the hero?
Or is it gonna be you?
Or is it gonna be you?
You know what? You're right. It feels long. It feels like I didn't have to do
everybody. Let's play today like it's the first game of the rest of your life.
Do you mean the last game of the rest of your life? Because technically every
game is the first game of the rest of your life. Is this the first game of the
year? It's a proverb.
Do you know what a proverb is? You don't.
On three, Xavier. One, two, three, Xavier.
Here we go.
Come on.
Let's go.
Girls, I can't promise you're going to play a lot.
Tuck your ponytails in your helmet so we don't embarrass ourselves.
Really?
Nail polish.
Blue. That's the other team's color.
You're already a traitor.
Come on!
Beat these guys!
Look who's last here.
Oh, and the lady. Still getting ready.
Hey, here we go.
Oh!
That's nice.
Thank you, Dolores. Thank you.
So, Bobby, are you excited for your time off? I am. You know, I'm looking
forward to de -stressing and focusing on me before, you know, who comes along,
right? And then everything gets changed.
Can't believe you handed over the reins to Jerry.
Well, no, I prepped him, right? And he is a phys -ed guy, so I'm not too
worried. I would be worried if it was me. Really? He is one of the great
How badly can he screw things up, right?
Right?
Oh, open another prezzy.
I think I'm just going to double check something with Jerry first.
Okay? I'll be right back.
Come on. Do something.
Here he goes again. Here he goes again. Put a body on him. Same guy. Same guy.
Here he goes.
Don't you pass the puck, four.
Unbelievable.
Number four again.
What the heck's this?
timeout honestly timeout at 10 -1 what are you doing i panicked unbelievable
guy is scoring all the goals he has nine of the 10 goals one player i don't care
if all five of you go to number four try to stop one player he's a machine he is
a machine it's getting ridiculous though hey Jerry. Are you kidding me? What do
you want? Did I remind you that you need to keep the game ball separate from the
practice balls? Yes, you did. Get off the bench. I'm coaching.
I'm just checking if I reminded you.
10 -1.
Shut up. You're off to a great start.
That's all I need right now is you. Good job, guys.
Look at number four. That's a good -looking man. That's not a 15 -year -old
with a full -grown beard.
That's an adult male. What the hell's going on here? Jeez, you're right.
Hey, coach, you call timeout?
Oh, that was me.
Shoot more. Xavier on three.
Don't cheer at 10 -1. Just go. Try to stop number four. Go.
There's no way he's 15.
Well,
someone looks happy.
Tomorrow's the big day. I proposed to my lady. Check this out. What do you
think? Huh?
Oh, what?
Wait.
As in the same lady that's in prison for murdering your ex -wife?
That's the one.
Okay. Can I ask you a question? Yeah. I'm a little nervous. I'm trying to
of a nice, you know, romantic spot to pop the question. What do you think?
yeah. Isn't the visitor's room the only option?
Probably during visiting hours?
Of course.
Yeah. A special spot. You're a genius. Hey, Paul, do you think this is a good
idea? What's that? Well, she's in there for 25 years.
For murder.
And, um, I just think, what's the right?
Chance of parole in ten, though. Okay.
Anisha, that's the love of my life.
Yes. I better lock her down before she meets somebody else, right?
Who's she gonna meet?
Who's she gonna... Cheater.
Cheater.
Big cheater. Cheater, cheater, cheater. Hey, good game, number four. Holy
smokes, you're some solid.
Uh, thanks.
Great beard, too. You need a razor for that thing? Okay.
Sorry about my friend here.
Just wanted to maybe check some ID, just make sure you're the right age.
Government issue. Yeah.
Can I help you?
Well, hey, coach, we just thought it might be a good idea to check the ID of
number four here. He looks a tad older than the rest of the boys.
He's 15.
I'm 15.
Well, that's good to hear, right, that you were really 15, so that it shouldn't
be a problem to just prove it.
Listen,
loser, you lost, okay? So suck it up.
How about you focus on getting your loser team ready for our rematch
instead of making false accusations like a loser. Loser.
Ouch.
Loser.
See what's going on here?
Yeah, he's the number two. Yeah, and it goes all the way to the top.
So game on. What are you going to do? I don't know yet.
But you said game on.
Yeah, and I'm going to do, I don't know.
Stop with the question.
You can wait for me.
I don't have proof, but I'm pretty sure Central is using an overage player.
And as soon -to -be acting athletic director, I have some ethical standards
uphold here at the school. Well, Jerry, unfortunately, without proof, I can't
file an appeal.
What? You know the drill. Under the Cheely administration, Xavier teams are
going to be all about losing with dignity.
Fine. Then I'm warning you.
It's game on.
What are you going to do, Jerry?
I don't know yet. I'm going to do something, though. That sounds like a
like it's kind of ominous. It's like saying a storm's a -brewin' when it's a
blue sky. It doesn't make sense. You know, I did it yesterday, and I trapped
myself again. So start with your endgame, and then reverse -engineer what
catchphrase is going to be. You could leave it vague, like, we'll see.
I got it.
I got it's kind of weird. No.
Ask me what I'm going to do.
What are you going to do, Jerry?
Bingo.
That's actually not bad.
All right, first period, 6 -0. How is this possible? Yeah, I know that. He's
all the goals. Yeah. We should put three guys on him. You can't put three guys
on someone in hockey. Let's break his ankle.
We can't do that. Bobby Clark did it to that Russian guy once. First of all, we
don't have a kid in here who can break a grown man's ankle. He's a freak of
nature, coach.
He's not a freak of nature. He's an adult man playing with you. That's what
is. I heard he's dating Eugenie Bouchard.
What? Eugenie Bouchard? I heard that, too.
Eugenie Bouchard would never date someone in high school.
She's far too classy for that.
Okay, there's the buzzer. We gotta go. Get out there.
I'll think of something.
Be your best out there, guys. Try to stop the puck. Come on, Luke. You're six
foot five. One puck. Stop one puck, Luke.
I'll do my best. What?
This kind of sucks that it's just one guy beating us.
Say that again.
Sucks that it's just one guy beating us.
Wait here for a sec.
What are you doing? Go!
Get on the bench! I'm right there!
Okay.
I need you to strip down for me.
Excuse me? Strip down.
It's kind of cute.
Oh,
I hope Jerry remembers what I told him about away game bus schedules.
Imagine if he forgets.
No.
No, of course he won't forget.
Move on, Galga. Come on.
He's not a complete idiot.
I sent him four emails about it. Does he check his emails?
Yeah. Okay. You're being ridiculous.
Yes.
Although, am I absolutely positive he knows how to read?
Alright, change it up.
about. Soul pain, guys.
This is not the welcoming you thought you had, huh, bud?
Roll them over.
Take the dirty laundry out.
That's what I think of that.
There's something I would mean to ask you.
What is it, poodle?
One second.
Donna, for the first time ever, I looked at your face.
Watch it, bitch.
I will cut you.
We were in the middle of something, you piece of trash. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
It's my fault.
What's your name?
Cecilia. I'm the one that has to share a cell with this punk.
Cecilia.
It's a beautiful name.
Paul.
Hey, take a hike.
Uh, where were we?
Oh.
Something you want to ask me?
What?
No, you were asking me.
Oh, I guess it'll come back to me.
Let's do this. 6 -6. We are tied.
Come on. We can do it. Mr. Bashar, where's Mr. Duncan?
I'm not sure, but he's missing a real nail biter. Oh, yeah? McMillan's on
Let's go, McMillan. Shoot, McMillan. There you go. Shoot it. Shoot it.
Yes!
Nice!
Nice! Yes!
Great job, McMillan. Everyone else, too. Great job, guys.
Turn this whole thing around.
Great job.
Great job.
Great job, everyone.
That's what I'm talking about.
Oh, what's he doing? He's letting himself on fire. Oh, there you go. Oh,
my God.
What is wrong with you?
You didn't do that.
It's not sportsmanlike. You don't have to.
Idiot. The door.
Just relax, buddy. It's okay, McMillan.
It's okay, buddy.
Don't take my visor off. Leave my helmet on.
Dave, Dave, Dave, don't take my visor off.
Pee yourself, miss.
Did I pee?
Oh. Oh, God damn it. Gross, Bobby.
My water broke.
Okay? Natural.
What the hell?
Why is she here? No. I was here first. Get lost. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
There's a bird sticking out. Can you cover up?
Why is Jerry here?
Ma 'am, I'm sorry. ambulance with an offender bender. We have to bring you
together. Are you kidding me?
Why are we not moving?
She's 10 seconds.
She's ready.
This is it, ladies and gentlemen. A miracle of life. Here we go.
Shut up, Jerry.
Man,
you are remarkably elastic.
Thank you. Is that necessary?
Do you have to paint such a vivid picture? Have to. No.
Want to. You bet.
Here comes the head.
The symbolism is magnificent.
Oh, it hurts so bad. My eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord.
What are you doing? I'm calling Robert. You should see this. He's the father. I
couldn't agree more.
You put your phone down. What is that, a pottery wheel?
Push, ma 'am, push.
Oh, my gosh, what is that?
staring at your bird this time.
What do you want, Jerry?
Well, it looks like they want to keep me for test. They think I might have a
concussion, which I don't think I do. I came to congratulate you both.
So cute.
What's his name?
Call him Craig.
Oh, stupidest name ever.
Can I hold him? No.
Okay, too early.
Oh, Jerry, guess what? The kid who assaulted you has been charged.
Hope he rots in jail the rest of his life.
He's a minor. Don't see that happening.
He is a minor.
Wow.
Oh, wait, there's more good news. The team has been suspended for the
of the season, and, wait for it, you've been banned from coaching hockey for
life. Come on!
That is ridiculous!
I'm the victim here!
You know what, that's fine, because it'll free up more time for me to be
athletics. And my first order of business is going to be to purchase a
laminating machine.
Oh, my God, what for, Jerry?
You never know when you're going to need a laminating machine, so you want one
right there.
That's just the first thing I'm buying. I got a whole slew of stuff I'm gonna
get ahead of his head.
Because I've been waiting my whole life for this.
I'll see you tomorrow, Robert, and I'll see you never.
Knock on wood. Oh, that's gross.
I'm sick.
I'll have to go... I'll have to go get a test on my head to think I might have a
concussion. I don't think I do, but they... Hey,
hi. So?
I suppose the congrats are in order?
I didn't ask her. Oh, thank God.
I knew your conscience wouldn't let you go through with it. I met somebody else.
See, Donna's got this cellmate named Cecilia.
Angel.
Paul,
you realize that's still a problem, right?
Okay, look, okay.
Donna and I, we got history, right? But Cecilia, she's only in for a man's
slaughter. That's good.
Yeah. Right?
She's got, what, three to five years?
Yeah, that's less bad.
Okay, maybe you want to try and spend some time getting to know this other
criminal a little better.
You know what, you're right.
I'll schedule a prison visit.
Speed dial. Speed dial. The prison.
Yay. Yeah, good day. This is Paul Dwyer. I'd like to schedule a visit to see
Cecilia. Cecilia, yeah, she's Donna Selmy. Selmy. Yeah, you know the one.
as deep as the ocean, you know.
Yeah, that's the one.
What?
What?
No!
No! Come on!
All right, okay, have a good one.
Is it bad news?
Cecilia was strangled to death in a cell last night.
Who would do that?
I have a hunch.
Do you?
If you can't decide for yourself, the universe decides for you.
Done it is.
They all die.
Get out of here.
That's mine.
I'm feeling that you're back this quickly. You know that, right? This is
body, and it's my choice, okay?
Okay.
I'm leaking.
Oh, great.
Look, can you just watch Craig, and if he wakes up, just stick a soother in his
mouth, okay?
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Can't you just bring him with you? Put the soother in his mouth.
It's easy. Thank you. I know what that is.
Okay, all right.
Sama Bhatt.
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